Therapy is a must for everyone in life. We need to make it accessible worldwide.
Why is mental health not considered not as important as physical health?
Maybe if everyone could afford to be in weekly care, we'd have a person looking over us who can call out the signs when we're falling apart.
And then maybe we'd all be a little happier and a little safer.
Redditor Downtown_Put8673wanted the mental health workers out there to please share with us signs to be looking for, they asked:
"Psychiatrists, what made you realize that the person was not doing well?"
The following contains material that can be triggering and not suitable for minors.
'flight to health'
"I can teach you guys about the 'flight to health' that happens after someone survives a suicide attempt. You’ll talk to them, and they have all these genuine plans to make their life better. They’re enthusiastic and ready to get out of the hospital to start their new life."
"They’re going to quit their horrible job, love their family more, etc etc. I am always incredibly worried for these patients because soon the depression slowly brings them down again. It’s hard because convincing these people that they still need a lot of help is difficult because they’re completely genuine." ~ UptownShenanigans
Let's Talk Sleep
"Serious answer: I've worked both inpatient and outpatient. It truly is rewarding to see your care plan help someone. First time I meet them, I go through a whole history, physical, and review of systems and symptoms (psych symptoms). I get people that genuinely start crying . Usually sleep pattern disturbance is a big indicator."
"Adhedonia is the hallmark sign of depression. It is a loss in pleasure in things that you use to enjoy. Like gardening or video games. There are suicide warning signs, such as giving personal belongings away. There are so many signs for different illnesses."
"Such as bipolar, I'll get a man who is spending his rent check or having risky and unsafe sex. It truly is interesting and rewarding. Very subjective." ~ TonyNevada1
I should’ve charged him...
"I knew my psychiatrist wasn’t doing well when he spent the whole 15 minutes pacing the room, complaining how his ideas were not taken seriously by the other doctors at the hospital unit he headed. It was pretty surreal and hilarious - I just let him vent because he seem to need it. I should’ve charged him." ~ peuxcequeveuxpax
"When I told my therapist the events that led to my marriage, she kinda muttered under her breath 'dude…' So I stopped telling the story to acknowledge her reaction and she apologized. At which point I joked with her, 'aren’t you ethically required to not do that?' Funny thing was that was what made me realize I needed to change my approach, more than anything we discussed. Nice lady, she helped out a bunch." ~ Arsene3000
"Not a psychiatrist but my close friend is an LCSW. She always tells me that 'marked improvement in a short time without any root cause' is a huge red flag. For example, if a clinically depressed patient suddenly starts seeming incredibly happy for no reason, it's a sign that something is wrong." ~ MadameBurner
We're all falling apart. Don't think you're alone.
"Psych nurse here. I had a friend who was never happy, she was in ok moods, could laugh and all that, but she rarely voiced positive emotions. Had a history of past suicide attempts, so she was a friend we always checked on and kept her close with us The week before her suicide, she became extremely happy and giddy, she behaved like she had never done before, before her life got ruined thanks to some events i won't discuss."
"I saw this and voiced my concerns, I knew it was a sign that a suicide attempt was coming. This behaviour is typical on patients who are planning to end it (in most cases). This time we dint get to her in time. We miss her dearly. I married someone with BPD and I know the signs when she isn't well, but thankfully i can act before stuff happens and she has not attempted on her life or harmed herself in 2 years." ~ thatdudefromPR
I'm not haunted...
"After seeing my psych for almost a year, finding out that no, I'm not haunted, it's just the PTSD and anxiety, and a bunch of other revelations, I had an appointment where I told her that for the last month I'd been happier than ever. I was walking on sunshine and for the first time in 15 years I'd gone a week without any suicidal thoughts, food issues, self harm urges, or anxiety attacks."
"At this, she urged me to immediately set up talk therapy and schedule all my appointments ahead while I had energy. She saw that uptick as the red flag it was, but I didn't listen to her. Now 8 months later I've called her one time, barely shower or eat, and I'm back at my worst mentally. (It's fine though I'm used to it)." ~ ImprovSalesmansWitch
Things to Notice
"I'm a psychotherapist not a psychiatrist. I notice a client getting worse if their sleep or eating habits change, anhedonia, trouble with concentration/focus when there wasn't an issue before, or they start to socially withdraw. Huge red flags if they start to give away personal items and all of a sudden feel 'happy.' It takes a while to get severely depressed, etc and it'll take a while to feel better. These huge red flags indicate suicidal thoughts and possible planning." ~ psychness
Not Doing Well...
"As a mainly inpatient psychiatrist, I already know before I see them that they aren’t doing well just by nature of them being admitted. When I see folks in the ER and am determining if they need admission in the first place, it depends. Not doing well because they are manic looks much different than not doing well because they are depressed vs not doing well because they’re psychotic, etc." ~ housetowilson
"Not a psychiatrist but a therapist. When a person has a hard time understanding that their self-destructive behaviors are effecting themselves and their loved ones. To me, that’s an indication that something else is/was going on. Trauma, addiction, etc." ~ abin-sur
"I’ll never forget what someone said to me. He was talking about how he works out to meditate and help his body cope with the issues he has. He was a counselor and said that even though he feels better at the gym the problem is still there. Going to the gym didn’t solve the problem. It helped him get ready to face it. We can be given the tools to fight it but we still have to deal with it. So many people are given the 'feel better' but don’t know how to deal with the feeling of confronting the issue. We all have challenges the best we can do is prepare for what we can and know we can do it. There are lots of options to solve problems the right way." ~ clevernamehere123
"Patient here: When I mentioned I dismantled every object in my house that had screws, she thought I might be just tad bit manic. She was right." ~ Local64bithero
"I'm not a psychiatrist but I do have a masters in clinical psychology and worked in the mental health field for 10 years before I had to switch careers."
"1-Anytime somebody describes themselves as 'lazy' I almost immediately know they're probably experiencing anhedonia or some other mental health symptom."
"2-A lot of people underestimate how bad their mental health is. People often think others have it worse and think theyre somehow taken away from people who need the help?"
"3-They say they haven't had any energy lately."
"There's more but I'm tired." ~ NerdyHussy
"I did home-based therapy because she was too depressed to get out of bed. Some sessions we just sat in silence." ~ Catflappy
"My brother had a session where him and the therapist just sat in silence and after that he wanted to cancel the therapy out of shame. The therapist talked him out of it luckily." ~ elibright1
"I’m working on my PhD in psychology, so not a psychiatrist. At the beginning of the pandemic I started working with a kid over telehealth. Her parents wanted her to do therapy for depression. She was pretty hard to work with over video because she would take a while to respond to what I was saying and sometimes I would have to repeat myself. She would also start randomly smiling/laughing at whatever was on her screen."
"I figured she was messing around on the computer during our sessions until one day I saw that she was looking at herself in the video call. From that and the disorganized thinking, my supervisor and I figured out she had psychosis. Parents wouldn’t listen and she had a full blown psychotic episode that led to a multiple week hospitalization. Poor kid was completely lost to her delusions and hallucinations with her parents more concerned about her not being able to do her schoolwork." ~ megaspark90
Read out Loud
"I was the patient. Before our first meeting, she asked me to write her an email summarizing the concerns I had that led me to seek help. Upon arriving, I asked if she’d read it yet, and expressed concern that I was overreacting, making too much of very little, and wasting her time. I was even a bit embarrassed."
"She had read it, and I was informed that based upon my description of what led me there, a huge part of my problem was I’d slowly, over time, allowed myself to be convinced that everything I was enduring was normal, when in fact, it was highly abusive, in the emotional sense."
"That revelation was huge, when I realized addressing what I needed to face and overcome was much larger than I’d ever imagined, and just how much doing what I needed to do was going to hurt, and that it was going to hurt for a long time. I say all that to say, if anyone is wondering if they really need help, or if they’re just mentally overreacting, in either case, it certainly wouldn’t hurt to seek out a professional you’re comfortable with, and get some feedback." ~ ArmyOfDog
I’m still here...
"I had to tell my psychiatrist recently that I found an old friend in the cemetery (visiting my dad who passed unexpectedly.) He told me he can’t go there because he would recognize too many names. The man has been with me over ten years, has seen me through a lot and is one of the reasons I’m still here. I always figured I needed plenty of help though." ~ PublicThis
"I've worked in psychiatry as an MD, but not a psychiatrist. Sometimes you can have a polite, friendly conversation with someone who seem normal. Then you talk about a specific topic and an enormous system of delusions unravels. Then you're like 'CRAP' and it makes sense why they are admitted. Then there are the obvious ones crying, hallucinating, etc. People most often are very honest and want the help, so it's quite obvious what the problem is and that they are not doing well. :) " ~ Dysp-_-
"As a patient, about halfway through my first session with a psychologist she stopped me to ask if I was medicated and what I was prescribed... I was not, and the look of disbelief and tentative concern was both an amusing and 'damn, I really AM broken' moment lol."
"PS: still not medicated and I know I'm not broken. :) " ~ mcfeet
"Not a mental health professional, the patient, hi. I swear I saw the light bulb go off in my therapists head when I admitted in our second session that I'd cried for 2 hours after our first session because I was convinced she hated me for being so selfish. Turns out she didn't hate me, wild." ~ SaxAndViolince
Mental health workers are also miracle workers. We should pay them more. Speak up. Get help.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
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When looking at a resume, it's easy to understand how prospective employers will assume someone is very intelligent based on their education and past experience.
But one shouldn't only assume someone's intelligence based on what they read.
More often than not, one can tell rather quickly that someone possesses above-average intelligence, based on how they speak, how they behave, or other telling details.
Redditor PadWanKenobi was curious to hear what people felt were the tell tale signs they were in the company of a possible genius, leading them to ask:
"What’s a sign of extremely high intelligence?"
"Ability to intuitively and quickly understand complex systems and how lots of parts relate in a coherent whole."
"Like I work with some people who just keep tons of concepts in their head and easily integrate new information into their understanding of those concepts."
"They immediately know what questions they should be asking to better understand."
"And these are things they're currently working on, not like things they spent time studying in school over years."
"They just have a very strong ability to synthesize new information into their understanding."
"I sit in meetings distracted and confused having forgotten what we talked about in the previous meetings, and these folks just consistently have a solid handle on everything."- Ok-Control-787
Innate Problem Solvers
"They know when not to solve a problem."
"This took me a while to understand but the smartest people I know do this."
"It could be a really simple thing like ignoring emails from people asking for help."
"The supervisor or boss might have a quick and easy solution for the situation but instead of just handing it to the person that asked they let them figure it out on their own."
"They know who they can do this with and when to do it."
"If they did that with all of their underlings it would just create a mess."
"Another example that I can think of is planned chaos."
"Some people can predict exactly where things will go wrong and they could fix it before it creates a problem."
"They don't because nobody ever notices what's going on in the background when things are working perfectly."
"Once things fails then everybody notices and if you are the one person that fixed it you become the hero."
"They can also use then chaos to reach a goal they couldn't get before if things were working correctly."
"There's many examples of this in every day life that I didn't see before until I realized what was happening."- atapesGiphy
You know what they say about people with small hands
"If your hand is smaller than your face."- FallofTheKnight
The all knowing glow.
"When someone asks you a question and you push your glasses up while light comes out of it and covers your eyes for some reason."- JonEregor
Those giveaway behavioral quirks
"Wearing glasses and saying things like 'ah yes', and 'I see' while you pensively rub your chin."- iuytrefdgh436yujhe2Thinking Reaction GIF by ABC TV + IVIEWGiphy
"When they explain something they make the people around them feel smarter, not dumber."- redkat85
Being one step ahead.
"The capacity to understand complex things, see patterns where regular people don't."- Ostepop234
"They have this tendency to make you go 'Ohhh, why didn't I think of that?' when listening to them talk."- did_it_forthelulzWhy Didnt I Think Of That Cillian Murphy GIFGiphy
An endless love of learning
"A passion for knowledge and expanding understanding of complex concepts."
"The plumber can be just as insightful as the scholar."- KatatoniK94
Of course, one shouldn't always be fooled by what they see.
As many people are masters at appearing much smarter than they are.
In fact, one important sign of super intelligence is being able to separate those who appear smart, from those who actually are.
With each passing year of a marriage, couples will often discover that while they don't love each other any less than they once did, that spark their relationship used to carry has faded.
This will often lead these couples to look for ways to spice things up a bit.
Among the more popular experiments is inviting a third member to their bedroom.
Enticing as this prospect is, however, it's also easy to be intimidated by the reality of it, or even the mere suggestion of it.
"Men, what advice do you have for men whose wives want to bring a third into the bedroom?"
Make sure you want to do it.
"You need to be completely honest with yourself, ask if this is something you want and could live with."- Dame87
Proceed with caution
"It’s like frolicking in a mine field."
"You both better be SUPER into the idea, you can’t have one person who’s reluctantly agreed to go along with it."
"And established rules."
"A threesome sounds like fun and games until you’re watching your partner make faces and sounds that you only thought were for you in your most intimate moments together, and a burning jealousy comes out of nowhere and breaks your heart."
"I’m not saying it’s automatically a bad idea and I know people do polyamory successfully, but dear god be careful."- coleosis1414
Make sure you're an active participant
"I had an ex that was adamant that she wanted to be a swinger or whatever."
"The one time I decided to roll with it, I hit it off immediately with the other dude's girlfriend and had a blast hanging out with her all night."
"The other dude was a total creep, though."
"Also, my ex could not handle the fact that someone else was giving me the slightest bit of attention."
"So, needless to say, that didn't go anywhere."
"Turns out she didn't want to be a swinger, she just wanted to have sex with other people behind my back, which she had no problems whatsoever with."- Ted_Denslow
Look out for ulterior motives
"Just remember that if you bring this up and your husband is against it, that could be the beginning of the end of your marriage."
"For a lot of people their partner saying 'I am seriously considering having sex with other people and I'm checking with you if it is ok', is a deal breaker."- gamerplays
Consider a test run?
"Go to a bar together separately."
"Watch them flirt/interact with someone else."
"If you get jealous, it's probably a bad idea to bring in a third."
"If it turns you on, go for it."- SinSlayer
Query people with experience.
"It’s something my wife and I have talked about."
"We both agreed that opening the Pandora’s box is not the way we want our relationship to go."
"While it sounds fun, we have seen way to many relationships derailed because of it."- DarthDujo
Consider going whole hog.
"Bring a 4th."- xxemrgmi
Evaluate your relationship first.
"Make sure you and your partner are secure in your own relationship before having another person join."
"Have boundaries, and no secrets."
"From my experience it doesn't usually work out in the end."- Thick-Procedure455
"Don't do it."
"For a long time, my ex harbored a fantasy of watching me have sex with another woman."
"Hey, who knows why any of us are wired the way we are?"
"After contemplating the idea together for a while, we decided to approach one of her more attractive co-workers, who had made a series of flattering comments along the lines of "you're so lucky" and "he's so good-looking'."
"She enthusiastically agreed."
"Our first meet-up was of course awkward, but the second, third and following were pretty good."
"In fact they got progressively hotter, as we all got more comfortable with each other's boundaries, erotic likes and dislikes."
"However, over a few months these occasional kinky weekends transitioned into the co-worker asking more frequently and aggressively to be invited over."
"We tried to explain that we had intended these threesomes to be rare and exotic highlights in our sex life, not regular occurrences, but she didn't take the message to heart and instead became increasingly insistent, bordering on smothering."
"After being turned down one Friday, that night she unexpectedly showed up at our door anyway, carrying a weekend bag and wearing nothing but a raincoat, stay-ups and heels."
"While that was quite a sight, it definitely creeped us out, as it made us finally realize the whole arrangement was descending into 'play Misty for me' territory."
"My ex and I agreed that her unexpected and unwelcome appearance signaled the end of future three-ways, at least until we were able to cool our own selves down, reassess, and perhaps later find a less demanding and insistent third."
"Things subsequently got very sticky at work for my wife, as her co-worker, with whom she had to interact closely, strongly resented being permabanned, and kept demanding to know 'what she'd done that was so awful'."
"Coworker eventually asked to be transferred to another office, but by the time that process was over and done, the discomfort / guilt / pressure / confusion my ex was suffering both at home and at work had begun to take its psychological toll."
"I must confess it didn't help that our own sex life was simultaneously going through a rough patch."
"Long story short, we ended our decade-long relationship less than a year after breaking off the threesomes, chiefly due to trust issues and growing sexual incompatibility, both perhaps triggered by our experimentation."
"Ever since, I've regretted agreeing to that first three-way."
"If I hadn't been so damned eager to take a bite of forbidden fruit, we might have kept our relationship intact."
"But I guess this can also be put down as what sometimes happens when you ignore that old advice, 'don't sh*t where you sleep'."- theartfulcodger
When venturing into the unknown, it's always wise to gain some first hand experience, to hear a variety of pros and cons of what you're possibly getting yourself into.
That way, deciding whether or not it's for you will become increasingly clear.
It's also important to remember, that it is always ok to say "no".
People Share Their Best 'You Either Die The Hero Or Live Long Enough To Become The Villain' Experiences
"You either die the hero or live long enough to become the villain."
Though not necessarily a universal truth, all of us have witnessed unfortunate moments in our lives where we've seen this saying become a reality.
Be it seeing our favorite public figures take a serious fall from grace, someone we know and admire eventually disappointing us in a devastating manner, or even seeing ourselves turn into someone we promised we'd never become.
One Redditor was curious to hear people's examples of this saying coming to light, either from a personal experience or seeing it happen to a well-known, public figure, leading them to ask:
"Who is your example of 'you either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain'?"
"He originally stood up for civil rights when it was really unpopular."
"Was hospitalized and accidentally placed in the black ward."
"When the doctors found out, they tried to move him, but he refused."
"Then he became a cult leader and used his power and influence to end the lives of a thousand people."- Crvsby
Earning a position of power
"Working in restaurant kitchens."
"You either burn out young, or become the boss that everyone hates."
"There's exceptions, but that's the rule."- grandpas_old_crow
"Henry Heimlich, inventor of the Heimlich Maneuver."
"Made up a bunch of untested uses for it, treating people having asthma attacks, and drowning victims were the two I remember that he publicly talked up."
"Later, he funded an experiment that involved injecting people with Malaria to see if it would treat other conditions.
"The experiment was found to be unethical by American review boards, so he conducted them in Ethiopia." - User Deleted
"In WW1 he led the French to victory at Verdun, one of the worst battles in human history."
"In WW2, after France was beaten, Petain was the head of state of Vichy France."
"Guy went from the Lion of Verdun to the biggest Nazi collaborator in France."- arthuranymoredonuts
"Every organ until it gets cancer."- SuperBaconjam
"He had the whole country behind him here in Ireland at one point bar people who thought combat sport is grotesque."
"He was witty, original, backing himself up and having a Hollywood like rise to stardom."
"Now he's someone who the whole country is ashamed of, goes punching old men, clearly sleeps around on his wife while she's at home with the kids, just a walking caricature of himself."
"He didn't listen to his own advice."
"Get out."- StephenPigot2020
Turning into our parents
"My dad used to annoy me by calling my Pokemon cards 'Pokey-Mans'."
"Now my kids have them and I do the same thing and it annoys the sh*t out of them."
"Thanks for the (Pokeyman) gold!"- rumpel4skinOU
"Almost died during the revolutionary way, if I recall correctly, and if he had he would have been remembered a huge hero, and a martyr."
"Instead he lived and changed sides, and is remembered only for his being a traitor."- uniqueperson22
Be it someone we knew quite intimately, or someone we admired from a far, it is always heartbreaking to see someone evolve from someone we love, to someone we utterly hate.
Sometimes we do things that have to be done.
And some of those things live in life's gray area of right and wrong.
What comes as a surprise to some is when we don't care if we're wrong.
We may still technically be in the right.
But morally and ethically, there may be some issues.
But still, many people don't care.
Redditor BirdyPizzawanted to see who would fess up about some of the worst things we're responsible for but have no shame.
"What is the darkest thing you have ever done and don’t regret?"
I've stolen from department stores that overcharged. I was arrested. I didn't care. So there...
"Five years ago my dad suffered a catastrophic stroke. Left paralyzed and robbed of his speech and ability to communicate he was a shell of the once vibrant, charismatic man he once was. He was moved into skilled nursing where he lived for nearly two years, he was miserable."
"On my last visit I told him it was okay if he wanted to leave us, that we would miss him but he should go. A week later I received the call that he had passed. Instead of immediate grief I felt relief. Relief that he was finally free. The grief came later and I still miss him every single day."
"Got into a car accident and had to stay with my mom for a couple days to figure out what to do. Went back to my apartment (I had two roommates) and everything was missing from my room. Long story short one of my roommates had everything hidden in her room."
"I called and told her the things were missing from my room and she came up with a lie that a couple girls came to look at my room (I was moving out bc of the accident, long story) and that they must have taken my things. She had everything I owned. Including my grandmothers perfume bottles, stuffed to the back of her closet, under her bed, behind her dresser etc."
"So I packed all of my stuff up. Then took a giant black garbage bag and stuffed as much of her closet in it as I could. Took it to the middle of nowhere, dug a hole and burnt it. She called screaming at me that her stuff was missing. I told her the two girls must have come by and taken her stuff too."
"I hit my uncle left right and center when he was trying to choke my father to death. I was 16 years old at that time, a very skinny girl. I beat his face neck and every part of him that I could target with so much intensity that my knuckles turned blue the next day. I had an animalistic rage that day trying to help my father get away from his death grip. I hate my uncle even today."
"I got anger issues because of growing up around him. And I don't regret beating him that day at all. He was physically abusive to his wife as well. One fine day, his wife retaliated by beating him blue with a stick. And he stopped being physically violent towards her post that."
"A neighbor like 10 years ago was neglecting their dog badly in the heat. The dog escaped often and ended up at the shelter a lot. One day she jumped the fence and got her tie-out cable stuck on the fence. (She was not in danger of choking.) Neighbor put her on a 3-foot-long cable tied to a doorknob, no water, 90 degree day. I let some kind folks steal her, watched the whole thing and said nothing to stop them."
"When my father was dying and in pain I was the one who told the doctors he had been through enough and we couldn't see him suffer anymore. Doctor injected him with something, I assume a morphine mega dose and he passed peacefully moments after. Euthanasia may not be legal in UK but compassionate doctors know what's what. I don't regret it because my pa made me promise I would have his back when he got sick or old. I'm sad he got sick and never got to get old."
That is a lot of mess. But sometimes we have to do what we have to do.
"One of my ex best friends in high school was a real narcissistic lunatic. Had so many egotistical fantasies about what he deserved but I remained his friend because we met through my close friend (his girlfriend). As I started realizing what a terrible person he was I convinced him to go after his fantasy of a harem by asking to add a 3rd to their relationship, that led to a fight between his gf."
"I called her about it and asked how she felt about him adding someone to their relationship and about him sleeping with her. She said she knew nothing about that and started crying because he cheated on her. I basically helped orchestrate their breakup and have no regrets. She is happy with her first child now and he is in a toxic af relationship with 3 kids, 2 of which aren't his and his partner is 8 years older than him."
"Had to make the choice to take my dad off of life support after he got Covid this year. He was sedated for a couple of weeks and one of his lungs collapsed and I couldn't watch him fall apart anymore. My dad was a bulky dude. Constantly did a lot of outdoor work and to see him bone skinny and have no muscle left killed me and I knew even if he somehow got through it, he would have been so miserable and depressed in that state he was in. I don’t regret it. I think it was the right thing to do by him. I’ll never not miss him though. That was my buddy."
"Turned a close friend into the fish and game. He would poach mountain lions and bears. His whole family would literally shoot them and leave them. He would brag about it. I couldn’t stand it and felt that I needed to stop him. He’s in prison and so is his uncle. I know I ruined his life but he was literally killing so many mountain lions and bears."
"In middle school, there was this group of boys that would corner me in the hallway and try to scare me. I was the perfect target for these little b**tards. I was short, skinny, and had (and still have) and anxiety disorder. One day I just had enough, and asked a friend if I could have an extra pencil, sharpened it as much as I could, and when I saw one of them in the hallway, I stabbed the hell out of his leg. Sh**head got what he deserved."
Wow... we really are a dark and secretive people.