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Relationships have a tendency to disorient.


They begin with a state of infatuation. Both partners are smitten, all is glowing and idyllic. At this point--especially if it's a person's first, young love--there is a ridiculous hope that the relationship will always feel like that.

Of course, mundanity strikes as time passes a bit more. Infatuation has subsided and only reappears in sudden flashes, maybe the occasional special day. For the most part, both people have grown used to each other's quirks. Novelty and surprises aren't as frequent, and the partners grow so used to each other that they begin to assume that's how all people act.

Then the downfall begins to swell. Be it civil or in a furious rage, the relationship comes to an end. And suddenly, like a wave, the fog lifts and both people realize that there are so many other versions of people.

That only grows clearer as they date again. New, different surprises come from all different people. A whole variety of personalities and priorities from so many different people can be seen again.

Some Redditors know the whole trajectory, and they were happy to share.

ListerineLass asked, "People who's first relationship was a very long term relationship, what did you think was normal that turned out to be unusual once you started seeing other people?"

First, the moment you'll all been waiting for: sex.

Of course, life in the bedroom for a couple is extremely important--and particular to that partnership. Plenty of people had no idea just how uncommon their sexual experiences were until getting frisky with someone new.

EVERYONE Should Feel Good 

"Probably that I too should be enjoying the sex..that it's not normal to just lay there and have them not pay attention to my pleasure too. I honestly thought sex was all about the guy and what he wants." -- Positive-Platypus

"I've got a laundry list of sh** I realized too late wasn't normal, but the easiest answer is sex. Sex is actually enjoyable when your partner wants you getting off as much as they want to get off." -- SynchronizedCalamity

A Jarring Discovery 

"My first relationship was 18 months (16 - 18years old). My boyfriend was able to keep his erection after he came. I assumed all men could do this."

"After we broke up and I had sex with a new guy for the first time, he came and then obviously went limp."

-- is_it_bedtime_yet

Do Not Take Licking For Granted 

"How much he licked my face." -- AshtonAmIBeingPunked

"Was your ex a dog?" -- Tcheko

"Whole relationship was a punked episode" -- madfuccu

"Are you my ex lol" -- fencing123

"Making Love" vs. "Hooking Up"

"This sounds super dumb, but I was pretty sure sex should look like a movie. The first time I slept with my first partner, it was beautiful - sun coming through the window on a lazy Sunday, candles lit, etc."

"He was super gentle and made sure to always check in through the whole thing. Were together for 2.5 years."

"Imagine my surprise when I had sex in my next relationship and it was on some random person's floor. WHAT A NIGHTMARE."

-- ohterribleheartt

For others, discovering new partners can be a wonderfully liberating experience. They may have been in a long relationship that left them accepting some controlling behaviors on the part of their previous lover.

Don't Bargain Autonomy 

"I found out that it isn't normal to have to explain exactly where you are and what you are doing. Why did I come home 10 minutes later than usual from my job? My current gf doesn't even ask." -- the_beasty_boy21

"Both my wife and I both been cheated on by previous partners."

"We both expected to have to struggle with this sort of thing. Worrying if the other is late, etc."

"We don't."

"I try to be understanding as my work can have a chaotic schedule sometimes. Such as working late, going out of town on short notice."

"But we built trust and these are not concerns we have now." -- Sonendo

Silent, Constant Stress

"Constantly walking on eggshells to avoid upsetting her because she was by nature a miserable person." -- The_Istrix

"Same here. I was with my ex for 12 years. When I started dating other women, I remember mentally flinching in reaction to things that I thought would upset my new girlfriend that would upset my ex."

"Then my girlfriend wouldn't react at all. It was downright discombobulating at first. I didn't realize how emotionally conditioned I was." -- 12random12

When Kindness is Punished 

"Minimal talking/contact with literally any other female because it could give off the wrong vibes, I also had to tell what I did with them in detail."

"She would claim it was 'Caring about you and making sure you're doing the right things' well turns out it was an overload of jealousy and trust issues"

-- T-Poo

And for some, the discoveries went the other way. They'd been a part of a truly beautiful relationship and only realized the full extent of what they had when it was gone.

Startlingly Rare 

"First relationship I was 15 - 18 and he was my first everything. He did not prepare me for how crappy other guys could be."

"I didn't realize respecting me and genuinely caring about my feelings and our relationship wouldn't be a given."

-- eelzetton

The Ultimate Sacrifice 

"First real BF was from 9th grade until I graduated college. He grew armpit hair after we started dating and I thought it was gross and suggested he shave it."

"He did the whole time we dated and long after that, too. It was very weird to get used to men with armpit hair after that."

-- doctorfishie

Simple, But Not Easy 

"I'll let you know when I get out of it, lol."

"In all seriousness, I thought it was normal to look forward to hard conversations, because we always communicated our feelings respectfully and with consideration for our personal bias and the other person's perspective. Go figure, apparently most people struggle with basic communication."

-- xiaomantoubuns


Clearly, long term relationships have a way of concocting our perception of the universe around us. So next time you're deep in a love affair, do your best to keep your eyes open, your head on a swivel, and train your mind onto the things that aren't necessarily to be taken for granted.

You just might realize something you're only putting up with--or truly grateful for.


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Sometimes the things that come out of peoples' mouths are truly astounding. It makes you wonder, where did things go wrong? Why are they like this? As Forrest Gump once said, “stupid is as stupid does".

Here are a few of the most jaw-dropping lay stupid things that have been said by actual human beings. Not aliens trying to figure out how humans communicate--ACTUAL human beings. Thanks, Reddit.

U/cperr310 asked: What's the dumbest thing you or someone you know has said?



First up, what better people to hear ridiculous claims from than children? Here are some people that even teachers couldn’t help.

Well, that’s awkward.

I was in 5th grade like 20 years ago, and I am a male which is important later. My school changed an extra girls locker room into a computer lab. When my class got to go check it out, I say "wow, it looks so different!".

Everyone looks at me like I'm a creep. What I meant to say was "wow it looks so different that the boys locker room!" I still think about this when trying to fall asleep more often than I'm comfortable with.

Xeeke

....no. No it’s not.

War Guy GIF Giphy

In my Spanish class where they were talking about Spanish countries

"What about Syria...isn't Syria Spanish?"

Worst part... NOBODY called her out on it to the point I was questioning myself. The professor had good English but it wasn't her first language and she dodged her question saying she's only going over countries in south america. I had to literally write myself a note that she literally asked that question. Then I got paired up with her like 10 minutes later for a group activity and I still wasn't over this question lol

Papapsie

Fake but also real but also demonic?

A kid in high school tried to convince me that men had an extra rib and that the earth is only a few thousand years old. Same kid said that ouija boards were full of magnets and gears which made them fake, yet they were simultaneously completely real and needed to be burned on sight to prevent demonic possession.

HotelRoom5172648B

But sometimes it’s the parents of children who say the dumb stuff.

Back in 2014 I still vividly remember we were eating dinner, and my brother is chewing with his mouth open while my sister is talking. My dad, still thinking about her talking but talking to my brother said "Talk with your mouth closed." and my sister just went silent immediately.

Starr_fall

Stupid can turn into ignorant really quickly. Here are a few examples of the not-so-harmless kind of dumb statements.​

Fun fact: they don’t use the US Constitution in New Zealand. Who knew?

angela rye guns GIF by Third Rail with OZY Giphy

After the church shooting in New Zealand, they banned guns. My coworker said that they can't do that since it violates the second amendment. We live in California.

Onbakeplatinum

Everyone knows New Zealand is the state below New Canada.

Rysilk

Uhhhhh that’s racist af.

Not to me but my husband.

He had to take an uber home from the Naval Base in San Diego (car was getting fixed) and the guy who picked my husband up was from Pakistan and they had small talk, telling him how he moved over here etc, dude was pretty cool.

My dumbass half sister whom we were staying with for a bit told him straight to his face, "Oh since you're military he probably wanted to like... murder you."

...What a f*cking ignorant, racist thing to say.

HelloxOctober

Just gonna leave this one here....

"And then I see the disinfectant where it knocks it out in a minute. And is there a way we can do something like that, by injection inside, because you see it gets in the lungs, so it would be interesting to check that out."

The_questcoast

Well that’s a new one.

A trans friend got "You're registered as a man here, so I need to hear a male voice to complete the verification of your acount."

Not the first time the cable company pulled this 'female' account 'female' voice / 'male' account 'male' voice crap. But that one time was on a whole other level.

Tricky_Ad_8459

But most of the time, dumb statements are harmless, and make for a good story down the line.​

I wouldn’t be able to keep a straight face either.

alvin and the chipmunks GIF by 20th Century Fox Home Entertainment Giphy

A few questions I've heard come to mind, I'm not sure which is the best/worst.

A few years ago my mom, in her 60s at the time, asked me if chipmunks grow up to be squirrels. Have you ever tried to keep a straight face while explaining to the grown-ass woman who was responsible for keeping you alive for ~18 years that chipmunks and squirrels are different animals?

In high school during a Spanish class as student asked "Do Spanish-speaking people think in Spanish?" After being told yes, her follow-up question was "Are they born speaking Spanish?" The teacher kept a straight face explaining that foreign language speakers learn their language the same as the student learned English, but there were a lot of other students laughing and brutally mocking her.

Relikter

Ah yes, the two types of guitars.

Dumbest thing I ever asked was, "do you prefer playing electric or air guitar?" I really meant to say acoustic, like my dad's.

Yankstraveler

Air guitar. I don't know how to play the acoustic or electric guitars, but I never get a wrong note on the air guitar.

CCC_037

Did you change your birthday?

At the bank.

Teller: Is your phone number still 123-4567?

Me: Yes

T: Is your address still 123 Easy st?

M: Yes

T: Is your birthday still 01/01/2000?

M: laughing I sure as hell hope so

That_one_air_guy

I can't even make fun of these. One time I asked my husband where the Newport Ferry sailed to.

Newport, obviously.

I think we all have slip-ups in our brains sometimes. It's part of being human, and hey, they stay alive as inside jokes for generations to come