People Explain Which Crazy Things Their Partner Did They Didn't Realize Were Weird Until Afterwards
Relationships have a tendency to disorient.
They begin with a state of infatuation. Both partners are smitten, all is glowing and idyllic. At this point--especially if it's a person's first, young love--there is a ridiculous hope that the relationship will always feel like that.
Of course, mundanity strikes as time passes a bit more. Infatuation has subsided and only reappears in sudden flashes, maybe the occasional special day. For the most part, both people have grown used to each other's quirks. Novelty and surprises aren't as frequent, and the partners grow so used to each other that they begin to assume that's how all people act.
Then the downfall begins to swell. Be it civil or in a furious rage, the relationship comes to an end. And suddenly, like a wave, the fog lifts and both people realize that there are so many other versions of people.
That only grows clearer as they date again. New, different surprises come from all different people. A whole variety of personalities and priorities from so many different people can be seen again.
Some Redditors know the whole trajectory, and they were happy to share.
ListerineLass asked, "People who's first relationship was a very long term relationship, what did you think was normal that turned out to be unusual once you started seeing other people?"
First, the moment you'll all been waiting for: sex.
Of course, life in the bedroom for a couple is extremely important--and particular to that partnership. Plenty of people had no idea just how uncommon their sexual experiences were until getting frisky with someone new.
EVERYONE Should Feel Good
"Probably that I too should be enjoying the sex..that it's not normal to just lay there and have them not pay attention to my pleasure too. I honestly thought sex was all about the guy and what he wants." -- Positive-Platypus
"I've got a laundry list of sh** I realized too late wasn't normal, but the easiest answer is sex. Sex is actually enjoyable when your partner wants you getting off as much as they want to get off." -- SynchronizedCalamity
A Jarring Discovery
"My first relationship was 18 months (16 - 18years old). My boyfriend was able to keep his erection after he came. I assumed all men could do this."
"After we broke up and I had sex with a new guy for the first time, he came and then obviously went limp."
Do Not Take Licking For Granted
"How much he licked my face." -- AshtonAmIBeingPunked
"Was your ex a dog?" -- Tcheko
"Whole relationship was a punked episode" -- madfuccu
"Are you my ex lol" -- fencing123
"Making Love" vs. "Hooking Up"
"This sounds super dumb, but I was pretty sure sex should look like a movie. The first time I slept with my first partner, it was beautiful - sun coming through the window on a lazy Sunday, candles lit, etc."
"He was super gentle and made sure to always check in through the whole thing. Were together for 2.5 years."
"Imagine my surprise when I had sex in my next relationship and it was on some random person's floor. WHAT A NIGHTMARE."
For others, discovering new partners can be a wonderfully liberating experience. They may have been in a long relationship that left them accepting some controlling behaviors on the part of their previous lover.
Don't Bargain Autonomy
"I found out that it isn't normal to have to explain exactly where you are and what you are doing. Why did I come home 10 minutes later than usual from my job? My current gf doesn't even ask." -- the_beasty_boy21
"Both my wife and I both been cheated on by previous partners."
"We both expected to have to struggle with this sort of thing. Worrying if the other is late, etc."
"We don't."
"I try to be understanding as my work can have a chaotic schedule sometimes. Such as working late, going out of town on short notice."
"But we built trust and these are not concerns we have now." -- Sonendo
Silent, Constant Stress
"Constantly walking on eggshells to avoid upsetting her because she was by nature a miserable person." -- The_Istrix
"Same here. I was with my ex for 12 years. When I started dating other women, I remember mentally flinching in reaction to things that I thought would upset my new girlfriend that would upset my ex."
"Then my girlfriend wouldn't react at all. It was downright discombobulating at first. I didn't realize how emotionally conditioned I was." -- 12random12
When Kindness is Punished
"Minimal talking/contact with literally any other female because it could give off the wrong vibes, I also had to tell what I did with them in detail."
"She would claim it was 'Caring about you and making sure you're doing the right things' well turns out it was an overload of jealousy and trust issues"
-- T-Poo
And for some, the discoveries went the other way. They'd been a part of a truly beautiful relationship and only realized the full extent of what they had when it was gone.
Startlingly Rare
"First relationship I was 15 - 18 and he was my first everything. He did not prepare me for how crappy other guys could be."
"I didn't realize respecting me and genuinely caring about my feelings and our relationship wouldn't be a given."
-- eelzetton
The Ultimate Sacrifice
"First real BF was from 9th grade until I graduated college. He grew armpit hair after we started dating and I thought it was gross and suggested he shave it."
"He did the whole time we dated and long after that, too. It was very weird to get used to men with armpit hair after that."
-- doctorfishie
Simple, But Not Easy
"I'll let you know when I get out of it, lol."
"In all seriousness, I thought it was normal to look forward to hard conversations, because we always communicated our feelings respectfully and with consideration for our personal bias and the other person's perspective. Go figure, apparently most people struggle with basic communication."
Clearly, long term relationships have a way of concocting our perception of the universe around us. So next time you're deep in a love affair, do your best to keep your eyes open, your head on a swivel, and train your mind onto the things that aren't necessarily to be taken for granted.
You just might realize something you're only putting up with--or truly grateful for.
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Men Who Used To Act 'Creepy' Around Women Explain What Made Them Change Their Ways
| Image by OpenClipart-Vectors from Pixabay |
Society definitely teaches men some really cruel and unrealistic things about women. It ends up warping their attitudes and later affects the relationships they develop (or try to develop, in other cases). Men are also taught that women are crappy communicators, or simply don't communicate at all. Perhaps that contributes to men's behavior around women, which can come off the wrong way. It can seem entitled at best, frightening or violent at worst.
After Redditor rocketbot99 asked the online community, "Men who used to be creepy around women and stopped, what made you change your ways?" men shared their stories.
"Once I got sober..."
<p>It took me recognizing I was addicted to alcohol, tobacco, pornography, and sex. I had been aggressive toward women and objectifying them since I was a child. I think this happened because I was exposed to sex at such a young age. I thought all relationships were supposed to be how movies and shows were so I just emulated what I saw.</p><p>Once I got sober I realized how much of a monster I was and took the necessary steps to really implement change in my life. Lots of therapy. Lots of crying. Self-reflection as to why I was emulating that specific behavior, and quitting my addictions. It's been a journey, but I'm happy to say I've been in a loving committed relationship with proper boundaries for a year now.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqeygf/for_men_who_used_to_be_creepy_towards_women_and/gohjqu6?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Ghetto_Pinnochio</a></p>"Talking to women..."
<p>Talking to women, becoming friends with women, changing my circle of friends, growing up, learning empathy, and the final nail in the coffin was sobriety.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqeygf/for_men_who_used_to_be_creepy_towards_women_and/goh73o1?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ruberusmaximus</a></p>Yes...
<p>...it can be as simple as that.</p><p>And to those of you out there tackling your issues and facing the long road of sobriety: You're rockstars.</p><p>Let's continue.</p>"That was decades ago..."
<p>Growing self-awareness that I wasn't the centre of the goddamn universe.</p><p>Went through a chasing-potential-girlfriends-too-hard phase in my earlier adult years, including mistaking simple offers of friendship and work colleague status for actual interest. It wasn't "stalking" level and it never reached the point of discipline (or even commenting), but it was probably to the point of being a little unprofessional and uncomfortable for the girl involved.</p><p>That was decades ago and I'm now with a company that doesn't tolerate that sort of thing.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqeygf/for_men_who_used_to_be_creepy_towards_women_and/gog2i1f?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">theoriginalretro</a></p>"I would always get really close..."
<p>In middle school, I was a mid-puberty, horniness-stricken, little perv. I didn't do a good job of concealing it either, I would always get really close to my one friend because I liked her at the time, and looking back it was so wrong to do.</p><p>It took me looking at what they were thinking and how my behavior affected them to really stop being creepy. Hindsight helps a lot as well.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqeygf/for_men_who_used_to_be_creepy_towards_women_and/gog299h?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">userone1</a></p>What's that saying?
<p>Hindsight is 20/20? You bet.</p><p>Let's continue.</p>"This sounds weird to me now..."
<p>I'm guilty of this, though naively and innocently so.</p><p>This sounds weird to me now, but I actually grew up in a household that valued back, neck. and shoulder rubs.</p><p>I did this for a long, long time to people I was friends with, men and women. In my head, it was just a way of saying I cared.</p><p>In retrospect, it undoubtedly gave of a super-creepy vibe.</p><p>I stopped once I saw it in context of someone else doing it to a woman, and her facial reaction to it. Then it just clicked. "Oh...OHHHHHhhh...wow, that's inappropriate..."</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqeygf/for_men_who_used_to_be_creepy_towards_women_and/goh7h4q?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">virgilreality</a></p>"They aren't laughing..."
<p>They aren't laughing because I'm funny, they're laughing because they're scared.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqeygf/for_men_who_used_to_be_creepy_towards_women_and/gogz9hr?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">kirixen</a></p>"Then I got married..."
<p>When I was in my late teens and early 20s I was constantly "chasing girls" as the expression goes. Nobody ever seemed to take offence to it, that kind of behaviour seemed expected. Plus, I always seemed to be able to find someone who was interested in hooking up.</p><p>Then I got married so obviously I stopped. I found myself single again 10years later and quickly reverted to my old ways. It wasn't long before I realized that things that I could get away with at 21 no longer worked at 32. In fact, based on the reactions of a couple of women, I realized I was being creepy. Of course, the women I was pursuing were also older too.</p><p>I realized I had to take a more mature approach. Things went much better after that, but I still cringe to think of some of my early attempts to get back in the game.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqeygf/for_men_who_used_to_be_creepy_towards_women_and/gogz1kt?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">WYMYZR</a></p>"When I broke up with..."
<p>When I broke up with my first serious girlfriend, I was totally heartbroken.</p><p>I called her all the time, cried on the phone. I even threatened to kill myself and told her so. This went on for some time.</p><p>Eventually, I threatened again to kill myself and went to bed drunk. I woke up to a voicemail from her crying her eyes out begging me not to do it.</p><p>I was so ashamed about my behavior. I realized in that message what I had become. It was absolutely her right, as it was mine, to end a relationship at any time for any reason, without being hounded and traumatized by the ex. I was evil and toxic.</p><p>I apologized and promised never to do it again. After that, I left her alone. I was still heartbroken, but I found comfort in my friends, and in activities and hobbies instead. I had several failed relationships after her, but I never again treated a woman this way. This was over fifteen years ago and now I am married. I have been tempted many times to contact her and apologize some more for my behavior, but the truth is, she is better off without me in her life. I hope she is well.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqeygf/for_men_who_used_to_be_creepy_towards_women_and/goh7rja?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Fire_TheTorpedo2011</a></p>"I realized..."
<p>I realized that I wasn't a knight in shining armor, and they weren't princesses to be adored and saved.</p><p>Rather than trying to ingratiate myself with them, I just started casual conversations. If they gave curt responses and standoffish body language, I politely exited the conversation and moved on.</p><p>By caring less, I succeeded more.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqeygf/for_men_who_used_to_be_creepy_towards_women_and/gohlz04?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">DancinginAshes</a></p>"That single event..."
<p>Maturity finally caught up with me.</p><p>I had one particularly bad experience with a girl "A" who I think was genuinely interested in me at one point, but I was super awkward and didn't have a clue how to act right, so I never really made a move beyond sad attempts at flirting, and so I think she eventually just thought I was a weirdo who wouldn't leave her alone.</p><p>Then one day we were both in a big group of people just talking and a mutual friend completely out of the blue suggested that A should ask me out, and what followed was possibly the single most uncomfortable moment of my entire life to date. "A" pretty much turned white and she was <em>out of there.</em> I'm sure she believed that I had put our mutual friend up to it. I had not. If anything I was just as horrified.</p><p>That single event shattered my self-confidence so completely that I spent the next year and a half actively avoiding any kind of conversation or interaction with girls, because I had concluded that I must be a Creep and therefore the right thing to do was to protect girls from my Creepiness by isolating myself.</p><p>Eventually, I kind of figured myself out and by my early 20s I was still awkward as hell but I managed to have a couple of relationships and plenty of platonic female friendships.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqeygf/for_men_who_used_to_be_creepy_towards_women_and/goh3brx?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Granxious</a></p>We certainly appreciate all of these candid replies.
<p>Self-reflection is <em>not </em>easy. Self-reflection is difficult and uncomfortable. It's supposed to be. We're happy to see more men out there owning up to their behaviors. It's a relief. Attitudes now are not even the same attitudes of 10 or 20 years ago. The more men come to terms with the reality of how their behavior can and does affect women, the better off we'll be as a society.</p><p><span></span>Have some stories of your own to share? Feel free to sound off in the comments below.</p>Parents Explain Which Things Suprised Them Most When Their Child Moved Out
Parenting is a lifelong commitment.
My mother still marvels at how fast I grew up, and I know she was very much taken aback by the (first) time I moved out. I was 20 then and honestly, she would have been fine if I'd stayed indefinitely. Did she ever think, watching me take my first steps, that the years would fly by and that one day she'd be helping me move across the country? I'm sure she did. But that doesn't mean she was entirely prepared.
After Redditor amberarmy1912 asked the online community, "Parents, what surprised you the most when your child moved out?" people shared their stories.
"Or just grabbing something..."
<p>That's hard.</p><p>One thing is how much I do miss my kids. I enjoy them not being here (even more once the last one moves out and my MIL is gone) but I miss the f*** out of them. I was so tired of living in one room (the master bedroom was also my office and I work from home) and I enjoy the extra room, but I hate not stopping by and joking around when I see something weird or funny online. Or just grabbing something I know they like when I am at the store and just kind of dropping it by their room as I go past. All those little things are gone now. I hope they realize how much those little things really meant.</p><p>The other is some of my own personal issues. I want to hear from my kids but I don't want to bother them so I don't contact them as often as I would like. I have never been much of a just shoot-the-s*** person so that hurts me in communications. I see a lot of my dad in me that way, he rarely ever calls me except when there is a death in the family or something. I used to not call him when he worked because I could never remember when it was safe to call.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lnb5qd/parents_of_reddit_what_surprised_you_most_when/go07ean?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">CrustyBatchofNature</a></p>"The difference..."
<p>The difference between peaceful quiet and sad, lonely quiet.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lnb5qd/parents_of_reddit_what_surprised_you_most_when/go0381j?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">factchecker8515</a></p>My mother told me this...
<p>...after I left. It must have been quite the adjustment.</p><p>Let's continue.</p>"The moment our son moved out..."
<p>The moment our son moved out to live on his own he became vegetarian. He never gave us any indication he was planning to or wanted to be vegetarian.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lnb5qd/parents_of_reddit_what_surprised_you_most_when/go056ha?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">LaoBa</a></p>"I was cooking recipes..."
<p>We have one kid. I was cooking recipes for 6 every night thinking that the portion counts were misleading because we never had any leftovers. Nope. Our grocery bills are now about a third of what they used to be.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lnb5qd/parents_of_reddit_what_surprised_you_most_when/go0a4kd?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">pro_ajumma</a></p>That's always nice!
<p>Tell me: Who doesn't love saving money?</p><p>Let's continue.</p>"I also realized..."
<p>That we talk more now that he lives on his own. We seriously play games at least twice a week for four to six hours. I also realized I was the safe mom that all his friends felt comfortable with. They still call to talk or stop by for a socially distanced catch-up.</p><p>I also realized that my water bill was only a 1/4 of what it used to be. I wasn't imagining the super long showers.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lnb5qd/parents_of_reddit_what_surprised_you_most_when/go020yp?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">backartigain</a></p>"I found out..."
<p>Mom here. I was worried that I would be sad and heartbroken. I found out that was not the case. I was excited to see where her path took her. It's amazing to see her making her own world and dreams come true. I now have more money, so I travel a lot more.</p><p><span></span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lnb5qd/parents_of_reddit_what_surprised_you_most_when/go09zmu?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Mindy76131</a></p>"I'm sorry, mom." (From a child.)
<p>How many kitchen utensils you actually need to make basic meals.</p><p>I'm sorry mom. I will never make fun of your crowded cupboards again.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lnb5qd/parents_of_reddit_what_surprised_you_most_when/go07ya4?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ersin23</a></p>This is so true!
<p>My kitchen cabinets are so cluttered. In a way, I am thankful. I know I am always prepared in the event I want to make something new. It's a great feeling.</p><p>Let's continue.</p>"God knows I love them..."
<p>It's an instant pay rise. God knows I love them, but even when they have been working and contributing to the household, me and my wife have still fronted most of the bills and purchases. Going from providing for a family of five to just me and the wife.... let's just say we eat better cuts of meat and our savings accounts have never been healthier.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lnb5qd/parents_of_reddit_what_surprised_you_most_when/go0guld?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Iloathewinter</a></p>"The possibility to spend much more time..."
<p>The possibility to spend much more time with my wife, which wasn't a surprise, but to sort of rediscover her as the amazing individual I once fell in love with. I never lost sight of it, but the roles of mother and father took up soo much of our time, so our "we"-time had always been on the back-burner (I know I haven't worded this very clearly, but I hope you get what I mean).</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lnb5qd/parents_of_reddit_what_surprised_you_most_when/go0guld?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Iloathewinter</a></p>"They have their own, thoughtful opinions..."
<p>When they move out, they also take a step towards adulthood, which means our relationship also changes for the better. We can take a step away from "parent-child"-relationship to "two people who love and respect each other" and we can talk about many issues much more as equals now. They have their own, thoughtful opinions on many topics, an I love having these discussions because more often than not they'll surprise me with a different perspective, and make me re-think my own opinions.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lnb5qd/parents_of_reddit_what_surprised_you_most_when/go0guld?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Iloathewinter</a></p>"I'm a dad..."
<p>The dad identity I adopted isn't who I am.</p><p>I'm a dad, but I used to be more than that and still want to be.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lnb5qd/parents_of_reddit_what_surprised_you_most_when/go09gkr?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">wedeservebetter</a></p>That last one hits me something fierce...
<p>...and I'm not even a parent! </p><p>It must be incredibly difficult to accept these kinds of changes after so many years of sacrifice.</p><p>If you'll excuse me, I'll go hug my mom. (Thankfully we've been able to see each other during this pandemic!)</p><p>Have your own stories to share? Feel free to share them in the comments below.</p>Exam Proctors Describe The Most Elaborate Attempts At Cheating They've Ever Witnessed
Students who have not prepared for an exam somehow have the energy to devise a plan to cheat.
Ploys
<p>These Redditors witnessed answers being relayed to students by an unassuming accomplice.</p><p>While the tactics may have looked good on paper, they failed to fool anyone. <br></p>Using A "Translator"
<p>"At the test center I used to work candidates were allowed to bring a translator of their choice as long as it got approved by the state. Most of the time it was a family member and we would listen in on the conversation using a headset and record it. Once in a while, while replaying the recordings we would hear signals and patterns given by the translator telling the candidate which option to choose. Busted!"</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqkhsq/exam_proctors_of_reddit_what_is_the_most/goh177j?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Csuz9022</a><br></p>Braiding Hair
<p>"Not an exam proctor, but a student who heard of this afterwards. It was two girls, and the one who knew the answers sat behind the other. During the test, she started braiding the other girl's hair. When the teacher wasn't looking, the one in the front would make a number with her fingers on the side of her thigh (the question), and the other responded by pulling her hair on specific spots (A, B, C, D)."</p><p>"They made a habit of braiding each other's hair everyday days before the exam so the teacher wouldn't find it weird. I was the goody two shoes who never cheated, but even I had to respect them."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqkhsq/exam_proctors_of_reddit_what_is_the_most/gohx322?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Leticia_the_bookworm</a><br></p>Notes To Self
<p>Some students used their own bodies to scribble down the answers – including on thighs, arms, and even mixed among freckles.</p><p>All that work disguising the answers could have been spent on studying.</p><p>Yet, here we are. <br></p>Notes On Thighs
<p>"I'm not an examiner but my mate once wrote out loads of notes on his thighs then went to the toilet during the exam- the examiner led him to the toilet to check the cubicle out first etc then waited to listen for papers rustling etc. He wasn't very smart but that could well be the smartest idea he's ever come up with. Absolutely do not condone though!"</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqkhsq/exam_proctors_of_reddit_what_is_the_most/goguirq?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">sophloopyP</a><br></p>Camouflage With Freckles
<p>"I have a lot of freckles on my arm, which would turn lighter if I put pressure on the skin, which gave me an idea. If I used a marker with a similar color as my freckles, I could make dots that formed letters or numbers, and when I pressed my arm just right, the freckles would fade for a second or two, but the ink would remain dark. Couldn't write a lot like this, but enough for notes on more difficult concepts. Never got caught."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqkhsq/exam_proctors_of_reddit_what_is_the_most/gohqb1h?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">FourRosesVII</a><br></p>Two "BUSTED" Students
<p>"Not a proctor but I witnessed two students get caught cheating while we were taking exams."</p><p>"One girl wore cheap/thin leggings that were slightly too tight. When she sat down, they would stretch out further and would basically become see-through over her thighs. She had a bunch of equations written on her thighs that one of the proctors noticed as they walked around the testing room. BUSTED."</p><p>"One guy had a bunch of stuff written on the insides of his arms, near his wrists . He wore a long-sleeved shirt that he would pull up/down. One of the proctors noticed him messing with it across the room and had him pull his sleeves up. BUSTED."</p><p>"Don't cheat, kids. You really don't want to have to explain to future employers or grad schools why you have an academic suspension or worse on your transcript."</p>Tricks Up My Sleeve
<p>Instead of relying on accomplices or their own flesh canvases, the following students devised ingenious ways to cheat. </p><p>One proctor was astonished while watching one particular student who, like a magician, produced slips of paper from "everywhere."</p>Printing Personalized Labels
<p>"I knew a guy who would make his own labels for soda/water bottles, but change the nutrition info to be useful equations for the test. The labels' material was identical to regular ones, even down to the gloss of the paper. Seems like if he spent the time studying, instead of making perfect labels for cheating, he wouldn't need the labels in the first place." </p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqkhsq/exam_proctors_of_reddit_what_is_the_most/goi5cta?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Helldiver-xzoen</a><br></p>So 2020
<p>"My friend came up with the realization that you can slip a paper into your mask and then pull it to see what you wrote."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqkhsq/exam_proctors_of_reddit_what_is_the_most/gogvb4u?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Disposable_baka404</a><br></p>The Pen
<p>"In high school, circa 1996, I somehow obtained the answers to a 20 question test. I proceeded to go to the computer lab and type the answers and then printed them in size 3 font. Then I cut them out and taped them on one side of a white Bic pen. During the test I could roll the pen so the answers weren't visible, and then when I need to look I could tilt the pen slightly and see the answer. I missed two on purpose so the teacher wouldn't figure I cheated."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqkhsq/exam_proctors_of_reddit_what_is_the_most/gohmm4p?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Flip17</a><br></p>So Many Slips Of Paper
<p>"Guy came in to sit an exam (along with one or two dozen others), wearing an eyepatch and with one arm in a sling with a prosthetic hand. Pretty unusual, but whatever. But I got suspicious when he started fiddling with his eyepatch, pulling it way away from his face and then putting it back. So I pressed the button on my desk that turns the cameras on (not sure why they didn't just record all the time, but this was back in the mid-eighties). I wasn't actually supposed to intervene in these cases, so I just sat there and watched, astounded, as this guy proceeded to pull little slips of paper from all over the place -- the sleeve of his supposedly injured arm, <em>under his tongue</em>... incredible. I don't know how he fooled himself into thinking nobody would notice."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqkhsq/exam_proctors_of_reddit_what_is_the_most/goiemw8?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">super_aardvark</a><br></p>Sometimes the things that come out of peoples' mouths are truly astounding. It makes you wonder, where did things go wrong? Why are they like this? As Forrest Gump once said, “stupid is as stupid does".
Here are a few of the most jaw-dropping lay stupid things that have been said by actual human beings. Not aliens trying to figure out how humans communicate--ACTUAL human beings. Thanks, Reddit.
U/cperr310 asked: What's the dumbest thing you or someone you know has said?
First up, what better people to hear ridiculous claims from than children? Here are some people that even teachers couldn’t help.
Well, that’s awkward.
I was in 5th grade like 20 years ago, and I am a male which is important later. My school changed an extra girls locker room into a computer lab. When my class got to go check it out, I say "wow, it looks so different!".
Everyone looks at me like I'm a creep. What I meant to say was "wow it looks so different that the boys locker room!" I still think about this when trying to fall asleep more often than I'm comfortable with.
....no. No it’s not.
War Guy GIF
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In my Spanish class where they were talking about Spanish countries
"What about Syria...isn't Syria Spanish?"
Worst part... NOBODY called her out on it to the point I was questioning myself. The professor had good English but it wasn't her first language and she dodged her question saying she's only going over countries in south america. I had to literally write myself a note that she literally asked that question. Then I got paired up with her like 10 minutes later for a group activity and I still wasn't over this question lol
Fake but also real but also demonic?
A kid in high school tried to convince me that men had an extra rib and that the earth is only a few thousand years old. Same kid said that ouija boards were full of magnets and gears which made them fake, yet they were simultaneously completely real and needed to be burned on sight to prevent demonic possession.
But sometimes it’s the parents of children who say the dumb stuff.
Back in 2014 I still vividly remember we were eating dinner, and my brother is chewing with his mouth open while my sister is talking. My dad, still thinking about her talking but talking to my brother said "Talk with your mouth closed." and my sister just went silent immediately.
Stupid can turn into ignorant really quickly. Here are a few examples of the not-so-harmless kind of dumb statements.
Fun fact: they don’t use the US Constitution in New Zealand. Who knew?
angela rye guns GIF by Third Rail with OZY
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After the church shooting in New Zealand, they banned guns. My coworker said that they can't do that since it violates the second amendment. We live in California.
Everyone knows New Zealand is the state below New Canada.
Uhhhhh that’s racist af.
Not to me but my husband.
He had to take an uber home from the Naval Base in San Diego (car was getting fixed) and the guy who picked my husband up was from Pakistan and they had small talk, telling him how he moved over here etc, dude was pretty cool.
My dumbass half sister whom we were staying with for a bit told him straight to his face, "Oh since you're military he probably wanted to like... murder you."
...What a f*cking ignorant, racist thing to say.
Just gonna leave this one here....
"And then I see the disinfectant where it knocks it out in a minute. And is there a way we can do something like that, by injection inside, because you see it gets in the lungs, so it would be interesting to check that out."
Well that’s a new one.
A trans friend got "You're registered as a man here, so I need to hear a male voice to complete the verification of your acount."
Not the first time the cable company pulled this 'female' account 'female' voice / 'male' account 'male' voice crap. But that one time was on a whole other level.
But most of the time, dumb statements are harmless, and make for a good story down the line.
I wouldn’t be able to keep a straight face either.
alvin and the chipmunks GIF by 20th Century Fox Home Entertainment
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A few questions I've heard come to mind, I'm not sure which is the best/worst.
A few years ago my mom, in her 60s at the time, asked me if chipmunks grow up to be squirrels. Have you ever tried to keep a straight face while explaining to the grown-ass woman who was responsible for keeping you alive for ~18 years that chipmunks and squirrels are different animals?
In high school during a Spanish class as student asked "Do Spanish-speaking people think in Spanish?" After being told yes, her follow-up question was "Are they born speaking Spanish?" The teacher kept a straight face explaining that foreign language speakers learn their language the same as the student learned English, but there were a lot of other students laughing and brutally mocking her.
Ah yes, the two types of guitars.
Dumbest thing I ever asked was, "do you prefer playing electric or air guitar?" I really meant to say acoustic, like my dad's.
Air guitar. I don't know how to play the acoustic or electric guitars, but I never get a wrong note on the air guitar.
Did you change your birthday?
At the bank.
Teller: Is your phone number still 123-4567?
Me: Yes
T: Is your address still 123 Easy st?
M: Yes
T: Is your birthday still 01/01/2000?
M: laughing I sure as hell hope so
I can't even make fun of these. One time I asked my husband where the Newport Ferry sailed to.
Newport, obviously.
I think we all have slip-ups in our brains sometimes. It's part of being human, and hey, they stay alive as inside jokes for generations to come