We hear all the time about how men and women are so different they might as well be from other planets. One Reddit user asked:
Men of Reddit, what is the hardest thing to explain to a woman?
Thing is, for every answer given there were ton of women who also struggled with that issue as well as men who totally disagreed. There were very few consistencies to be found - almost as if deciding only men or only women feel a certain way is ridiculous and people are just ... people?
Bonkers.
That said, here are some of the totally relatable responses. Because honestly, nobody is great with hints and doing nothing is one of the greatest activities ever invented.
Nothing
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If we say we're doing nothing, "nothing" is not a void to be filled; nothing is the activity and we love it.
Oh God yes. If I am doing nothing much, my wife always seems to want to fill it with tasks, assuming I am bored, when in fact I am more than happy doing whatever apparently pointless activity I have chosen to spend my limited free time on.
Expression
I'm not angry, I just don't have anything to say.
I find more often than not, I do have something to say, I just don't know how to express it... but it's not just because I don't want to talk.
I just don't know how to express it...
- at all
- in a way that won't hurt you, because i don't want to hurt you; I want to communicate with you, so we can change a thing that happens so it stops happening and we can both be happy
- in a way that won't hurt you because I don't want to hurt you, I want to communicate with you, so you know why I'm in a mood, and that the mood is based on like, sh!t from like, years ago, and this guy who wasn't thinking when he did a thing, and now I'm pissed at him, and pissed at myself for caring, and pissed at my dead father for sh!t from 20 years ago, and pissed at my friend, cuz he does something similar, but not the same, but close enough to make my hackles rise.... and...
No Tears
Just because I don't have tears running down my face doesn't mean I'm not as sad as you.
Sometimes I feel like I should be crying but I'll be right on the edge and nothing comes of it. Feels really unsatisfying, like I've cried and you feel better after but it's just the constant need to cry whilst being unable to.
- CCu1e
I relate the most to this one. Recently, I got the cold shoulder from my girlfriend because something really sad happened to her, and it caused a river from her eyes. Seeing her upset, of course, churned my insides into a sorrowful mess. Apparently, my face simply didn't get the message. I wish there was a way to relay the information that I am also upset.
So true. Lost my job yesterday from covid. I loved the job and most of the crew. My girlfriend was crying asking why she's more upset than me. I just don't like crying unless I'm truly as sad as I could be. At that time i was just accepting the reality and thinking of what to do next. I was still extremely sad.
Creep
I don't always want to be the one that initiates sex. It makes me feel like a creep.
- El_CM
It's also nice to feel wanted as a man.
Or just not to feel like a dog humping a chair, like that it's not so one-sided.
I've made it super clear that I don't want her doing sex acts unless she feels like it, as I love feeling like they are genuine. I've found that a haircut, casual touch and conversation, normal amounts of nice cologne, and a clean house gets her much more in the mood to start things than anything else, though.
Try really cleaning everything up and making sure she's having relaxed fun with you. My social skills are crap and I look like a Neanderthal and it almost always works.
lesbian relationships have entered the chat
The issue comes from old school misogyny I've learned as a lesbian. Women have been socialized that if you initiate you're a slut whore, the phrase "won't buy the cow if you get the milk for free" comes to mind, even if you rationally (again as a lesbian this shouldn't apply) know that's not how things work anymore, that sht is so ingrained still. It sucks for everyone, that's why for women who like women is so hard to find partners because now you have everyone that has been socialized to not seek people out involved, so everyone just stays home with their cats.
Best Friends Be Like
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Why I don't know what the fck my best friend is up to in life even after hanging out with him all day.
- El_CM
He isn't dead, he isn't divorced, no new kids, and I'm not invited to anything. There's really nothing more we need to know.
Same experience with coworkers. My wife discusses matters beyond the confines of her job with her coworkers. She then tells me about them. Me? I forgot my coworkers exist the moment I leave in the afternoon. She gets a little miffed sometimes when she asks me what they're like and I have nothing to tell her.
Dropping Hints
Hints don't work. Just tell us what's up.
- Qwerzq-
I once said to a guy "I really like you" and he said thanks.... 10 minutes later he looks over and goes, "WAIT you meant LIKE LIKE?"
Before my ex and I started dating, we were just friends hanging out a lot. She dropped hints all the time, which I never ever got. One day, we were watching tv, laying down in the same bed, cuddling, as all coworkers do. She then turned and started staring deeply into my eyes. Then, she started kissing my nose and forehead, before finally she started kissing me on the lips.
I stopped after getting over the shock I pushed her off and asked "Wait, do you like me??"
She sighed and kept kissing me
I was still unsure.
I feel like a lot of clueless guys say this online because they never figured out what flirting is, why people do it, and why it can be enjoyable.
To simplify, unambiguously telling someone "I would like intercourse" is not seductive or fun, and is such an obvious approach that if the girl gets turned down it is embarrassing. The whole point of flirting is to avoid that potential embarrassment by maintaining plausible deniability. It's a dance between two people, where how you say something is as important as what you say.
This is fun. It's an exciting way to build a connection while slowly increasing the tension. It also let's you show that you are capable of holding a conversation, reading social cues, thinking quickly, and having a sense of humor.
For those reasons I, and a lot of other guys, actually really enjoy this subtle dance and the excitement it brings. And it frustrates me to see my entire gender being typecast as clueless when you're really only describing yourself.
Feelings
When I talk about my feelings I want to be heard, understood and something to change. When we fight about my feelings it only makes me repress those feelings.
This right here. I don't talk about my feelings often, but when I do, it's important. Telling me that my feelings are invalid just makes me hold back longer next time I feel the need to talk.
This is something that I've been struggling with. I was raised to think that real men don't show emotion, and now that I'm in a relationship I need to in order for it to be healthy. But when I finally do, I feel like it's ignored or not as important as what's going on with her. Makes it harder to speak up every time when it feels like you're just yelling into the void rather than having a conversation.
Painful Endings
We're not afraid of marriage. We're afraid of divorce.
- BigMilk0
Similarly, I'm not afraid of getting into relationship, I'm not even afraid of asking someone out and getting rejected, I am afraid of being in the relationship for a long time and getting invested and then getting dumped.
5 years single since my first and last relationship went poorly, and it doesn't look like I'll be ready for another relationship anytime soon in the next few years.
I dated a woman for 2 years. I treated her kids like my own and watched them grow up for those 2 years. I built play houses and bought xmas gifts and read them to sleep.
Then the woman and I broke up.
I don't miss her, but I miss the kids. I don't ever want to go through that again. I'd rather be single.
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When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
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Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
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See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
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Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
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Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
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The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.