Redditor Born-Dimension6705 wanted to hear all the tea and crazy about everyone's days as a student.
What went down?
They asked:
"What was the worst scandal of your school?"
I think my school was pretty scandal free.
So tell me some sordid nonsense.
WHAAATTT!!!
"High school teacher slept with a student who was also her daughter's boyfriend."
grieserl
GiphyScary
"A dude stabbed someone in the lunch hall. Same guy later went on to murder and partially cannibalise his best friend. He was killed in prison, I think."
DonatingToWallStreet
In 11th grade, 4 guys went on a murder spree one night killing I think 4 people. One was grown."
"One was his brother (my age at the time). One was a guy that started bullying me. Even started trying to run me over with his car. And one was a hilarious guy that had a great boxing career going for him and had planned on going professional after graduating. They are all in prison now."
Competitive_Lab_3924
Lock your Drawers
"If you want a porn scandal, my wife’s got one. I’ve posted this before on a similar thread, but here it goes. At her high school there was a really nice old physics teacher who was very smart but taught in a poor public school to make a difference to the kids."
"He was really helpful all the time and would stay after class to review the material and talk kids through their outside problems when they were having a bad day. Then, during one class, a girl found and stole a flash drive from his desk. (My wife says that this girl was an annoying brat)."
"It turns out the flash drive had a video of him and two other old men masturbating together. It got spread around the whole school, and pretty soon everyone was laughing at and kind of disgusted by the teacher (this was in a very conservative place). The teacher never got fired but my wife says that his demeanor changed completely, like a 180 from who he was before."
"He never made jokes or stayed after class to talk about problems at home. He was my wife’s favorite teacher until this happened. Now, it’s really irresponsible for a teacher to keep that kind of stuff in his school desk. At the same time, it’s really unfortunate that that one incident ended up taking a lot of great resources away from current and future students."
RowBowBooty
Too Interested...
"Art teacher was arrested for being too interested in young girls. Looking back he always had his favourites that he would sit on his knee to 'teach' them art stuff."
shinyhappycat
"When I was in high school, one of our physics teachers was notorious for getting a bit too comfortable and friendly with the female students."
"He would regularly walk around the classroom as he taught and always found his way behind one of his preferred female students so could 'casually' rest his hands on their shoulders. It was creepy as f**k. We also had a Biology teacher who would always lift his leg and rest his foot on one of the lower tables or chairs as he taught - best way to describe it is the Captain Morgan pose."
"This would've been fine and dandy, except this teacher was packing serious meat and every time he struck the pose it created a painfully noticeable bulge in his crotch/thigh area. We had more than a few female students suddenly start paying attention whenever he did that."
shaoting
Somewhere
"The girl playing Anita in West Side Story slept with the choreographer the school hired to teach us how to dance. Choreographer was fired and as a result we never learned to dance the way real gang members would."
KapnQueasy
GiphyWest Side Story is always problematic.
Do a different show.
Violence
"A teacher nearly stabbed the eye of a student by slamming his face on the desk while he was playing with his triangle ruler."
iAmVonexX
GiphyPsycho
"Multiple girls accused same teacher of getting them pregnant, teacher is fired without investigation due to the sheer number of accusations, girls give birth, teacher demands paternity tests, none of the kids are his, girls admit to lying and make up story as revenge, teacher sues school, and most of those babies have grown up without knowing their biological dads. Some of them have claimed that the teacher bribed the lab that did the paternity test and threatened them into admitting they’d lied."
Hubbyof5
He didn't survive...
"A teacher lost control of a class which just wouldn't settle down, I don't know to what extent, but it resulted in him storming out to get the (pretty feared) principal to intervene. Unfortunately before he reached the principal's office, he collapsed in the staff corridor of a heart attack. He didn't survive. His son was in the same year as the class in question, just not in the same room. I can't imagine what he thought about his peers for the next two years in the school."
DKoala
The Shooter
"Some kid in middle school threatened to bring his dad's gun to school and shoot another kid. He was taken to the principal's office and the principal took out his own gun, pointed it right at the kids head and asked him if he still felt like a tough guy. From what people said it was a fake airsoft gun another teacher had confiscated and they thought it would scare him straight or something. He told his parents. Parents filed a lawsuit. He 'resigned' shortly after. Idk what happened after that."
supertoilet99
Wow.
My school was boring.
Some of these schools need a TV series.
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Reddit user Smoke1000Blunts asked:
"Teachers, what was hilarious at the time that you absolutely 100% could not laugh at?"
The "problem" (and I use that term loosely) is that sometimes you're in a position where laughing isn't okay. You don't want to laugh in a crying child's face because the reason they're crying is the cutest thing you've heard all week. You don't want to reward certain behavior with laughter.
You don't want to risk your safety like this first-person:
The Tantrum
"I had a kid who got extremely angry because I told him that he couldn’t do something - I honestly don’t remember what."
"He started stomping and screaming and became so angry that he dropped his pants and stood there in his underwear glaring at me."
"I wanted to laugh so bad but it would have just pissed him off more and that would not have helped the situation. I knew from experience with this child."
"This kid was crazy smart. He taught himself to read before he went to kindergarten - like full on books, not just sight reading. I was his preschool teacher and realized he was actually reading books on his own, not just reciting them from memory or using sight words."
"I brought it up to his parents - they hadn't taught him how to read. He taught himself because he wanted to know."
"He was also crazy manipulative."
"His mom is great about holding boundaries and not giving in, his dad on the other hand..."
"This was years ago and the kid's got confidence out the wazoo, still. It'll be interesting to see where he ends up in life."
- talibob
He Meant Gong
bbc two bang GIF by BBCGiphy"The time a fourth grader asked me to show him my dong. Loudly. In front of his entire class."
"I’m a music teacher. And a female."
"He meant he wanted to see a gong."
- urbancowgirl42
"I taught middle school band."
"My student came to me to let me know he couldn’t find the bong."
"When I asked if he meant the GONG he totally realized what he had said and his face got so red."
- MustangSmilie
Ye Olde Phone Numbers
"I’m a history teacher."
"We were looking in the textbook at a section on the founding fathers. Several of them had their own subheadings and a little paragraph about them. Like this:"
"George Washington (1732-1799)"
"Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826)"
"Benjamin Franklin (1707-1790)"
"I then had a student raise their hand and ask, completely serious, 'If you call these numbers, do they still work?' ”
"She thought their birth and death dates were their phone numbers. I teach high school, the class lost it, and it took everything in me to keep a straight face."
- snapdown91
Going Bald
"5 year old starts randomly bawling. Quite concerned, I rush over and ask what's wrong."
"She holds up a single hair and says her hair is falling out and she's going bald."
"I had to - with a straight face and with sincere concern to validate her feelings - explain that hair falls out naturally but new hair takes it's place."
- snoobsnob
"I had this fear as a child 🤣"
- KamuSugo
"I… no one taught me about this. I had to find out last year (I was 25)."
- LilLovelyLilly96
Virgins
Busch Beer GIF by BuschGiphy"Field trip instructor."
"I was leading a discussion on food chains with some 4th graders and asked what we call animals that only eat plants."
"The answer I got was 'virgins.' "
"I was looking for 'herbivores,' would have taken 'vegetarian.' I was not prepared for 'virgin.' "
- Evolving_Dore
"I used to think virgins are nicknames for people from Virginia."
"It was very confusing reading a Dear Anne newspaper section and all I could think was:"
" 'Why does it matter where you're from? Why do you keep repeating it?' "
- AlienBeingMe
Easy To Remember
"My first year teaching, I was going over the parts of a parabola."
"So I had my boring ole parabola up and I drew a dot at the vertex. Some kid goes:"
" 'That is the easy one to remember, it's the nipple of the titty.' "
"I had to keep facing the board for a bit so push back the smile."
"Unrelated note: This is the exact thing my classes learned about this week. And I can't look at a parabola anymore without seeing a droopy boob."
- Makenshine
Candy What?
"Oh man, I was the kid and it was like 18 years ago and I STILL cringe/laugh at myself."
"We had to pick stories to read out loud in front of the class, and I picked this cute one about Candy Stripers - you know, volunteers for hospitals who get to wear the cute striped apron."
"My dumb kid self kept mis-reading it out loud MULTIPLE TIMES. So it came out like:"
" 'And when I grow older, I want to be a candy stripper!' ”
'I can still hear my teacher wheezing with a red face in the back of the classroom."
"For the life of me at the time, I could NOT figure out why she kept laughing. But as an adult it kills me."
- AntipatheticDating
Phlebotomy Flub
Parks And Recreation Thumbs Up GIF by HULUGiphy"I was a phlebotomy instructor (sorry not a 'teacher teacher') and one of my students (fresh out of high school, so she was young) was practicing on an elderly patient."
"He asked her if she was going to take all of his blood. She responded quite joyfully 'Yes, I’m gonna suck you dryyy!' ”
"The old man got the funniest surprised look on his face and I about lost it but somehow kept it together."
"Oh man, the look in her face and the 50 shades of red she turned after she realized how that came across… absolutely priceless."
"Will never forget that."
- Secret_Squirrel97
Never Learning Subtraction
"I was helping a third grader who didn't want to work on his subtraction of three digit numbers that required borrowing."
"I told him, 'Fine. Never learn to do this. Then I'm going to open a store that sells things you absolutely love. And when you give me your money, I'll just randomly hand you back change that is less than you should actually get because you can't do the math to figure it out...so I'll just take all your money and you probably won't even know.' "
"He looked at me dead in the eyes for a few seconds before stating, 'That's bullsh*t.' "
"I had to hold back laughter for about a good 20 seconds before I could reply, 'You're right, so learn to do addition and subtraction and you won't have to worry about it.' "
- DawgHogger33
'You' Isn't The Bad Word?
"I used to teach 3rd graders who were non-native English speakers."
"One time one of them ran up to me to tattle on his classmate and said 'Teacher, Teacher, Tunwa just said 'F*CK YOU!'!!' "
"Tunwa, who was running behind him goes 'No teacher, no!! I only said 'F*CK' I didn't say ..." *looks around and starts to whisper* '...you...' "
"I was like, 'No, no! That's not the bad word, it's the other one!' "
"I was dying, I had to turn around and go laugh behind a corner."
- nickbkk
Parents, teachers, childcare providers, people who have spent more than 4 minutes and 28 seconds in the presence of a sassy-kid:
What's the funniest thing YOU'VE tried not to laugh at?
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