Sometimes it seemed like all the rules of high school were more likely designed to make teenagers used to obedience than anything else.
Anybody who passed through the chaotic hallways and droning class sessions of four high school years will be familiar with the realization that the logic behind a school rule is shaky at best.
<p>And even more often, the logic is downright bizarre. </p><p>These rules often serve as an apt illustration of just how out of touch school administrations are with their student bodies. They often prevent something that's not even the true problem, or they're utterly ineffective at creating a desire outcome. </p><p>Some Redditors gathered to recall their high school's most ridiculous examples of these regulations. </p><p>hayley0528 asked, <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqe1v5/students_of_reddit_what_was_the_weirdest_rule/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">"Students of Reddit, what was the weirdest rule your school ever had?"</a></p>
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<p>As you'll no doubt remember, clothes are a hot topic in high school. </p><p>Teenagers are driven to experiment, strive for attention, or adapt to the weather of the conditions around. Schools evidently strive to keep all that behavior in a tight box. </p><p>But sometimes that box takes a pretty wacky form. </p>
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School Pride?
<p>"During summer you had to bring and wear a school hat during break, if you forgot your hat you had to sit inside, and if you were caught playing on the field with no hat you would get detention. </p><p>"I was around 13 at the time and its not even that hot were I live."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqe1v5/students_of_reddit_what_was_the_weirdest_rule/gofzlxb?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">tinfoilhat17</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_2" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Not Chill At All
<p>"We had to wear matching underwear in baby blue or white. They would make us kneel down and then they would look down the back of our dress to check." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqe1v5/students_of_reddit_what_was_the_weirdest_rule/gogvt3c?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Bucketlist074</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"that's sus as fu**" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqe1v5/students_of_reddit_what_was_the_weirdest_rule/goh5r0m?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ae64k</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Sounds like sexual harassment" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqe1v5/students_of_reddit_what_was_the_weirdest_rule/gohsyek?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Subject_Candy_8411</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_3" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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A Shoddy Grasp of Botany
<p>"In our school shirts with the Canadian flag were forbidden for a year or so because the principal decided that it looked like marijuana. Never affected anyone as far as I know but it surely was weird."</p><p>"Also they forbid shirts with text on them for big test and final exams as students kept printing solutions on them."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqe1v5/students_of_reddit_what_was_the_weirdest_rule/gogphhq?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Forsaken_Hope_7842</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_4" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p>Other rules seem wildly specific and borderline unnecessary. They attempt to outlaw some very rare occurrence, so a casual observer will find them absurd. </p><p>But these rules always come with a story. </p>
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Trying Out Swears
<p>"This rule sounds weird without context, but in 5th grade we were banned from playing Red Rover."</p><p>"In context, it was because kids would shout profanities like 'red rover, red rover, send a wh*re over' or something like that"</p><p><span></span>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqe1v5/students_of_reddit_what_was_the_weirdest_rule/gog6ahk?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">PonkingtonHeights</a></p>A Fair Expectation
<p>'' 'It is not allowed to intoxicate school staff with the use of illegal substances.' "</p><p>"2 weeks prior, a student thought it was funny to spike a teacher's coffee with XTC."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqe1v5/students_of_reddit_what_was_the_weirdest_rule/gog1weu?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Sparrow_Kowalski</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_6" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Sounds Like a Satire of the Midwest
<p>"I grew up in small town USA in the Midwest."</p><p>"We were banned from saying the word 'corn' because some bullies were using it to tease the farming kids."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqe1v5/students_of_reddit_what_was_the_weirdest_rule/gogq2q1?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">a_Speck_o_Dust</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_7" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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From a Great Height
<p>"We had balconies, think opera style ones, you could watch school plays from and all that. They looked over the primary school building, but we were in middle school."</p><p>"We were not allowed to even stand near them, pissed everyone off because they were the coolest place ever."</p><p>"Why? Because someone took minerals from geography class and threw them at the heads of primary school teachers."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqe1v5/students_of_reddit_what_was_the_weirdest_rule/gogb5c2?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">premeditiomalorum</a></p><div data-conversation-spotlight style="min-height:90px"></div>
<p>And some Redditors brought up the relatively common rules many of us are likely familiar with. You may have even had similar regulations at your school. </p><p>But again, the flaws in logic were easy to see and point out. </p>
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Not Universally Enforced
<p>"In our school it was not allowed to talk in any other language except in English or otherwise they would fine us 10 bucks every time they found someone speaking in any other language."</p><p>"The irony is, our teachers spoke in the native language, our principal spoke in native language and even our subjects despite being printed in English were thought in native language."</p><p>"So the question is, do we owe the school the fine or they owe us."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqe1v5/students_of_reddit_what_was_the_weirdest_rule/gogo1uw?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">boomboomboom97</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_9" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Freedom Fighter
<p>"I went to a religious middle school and the genders were very segregated. There was 2 different stairwells, boys and girls couldn't be on the same one."</p><p>"My siblings went to the same middle school years before me and back then it was worse and the boys/girls weren't even in the same classrooms, they'd be on different floors."</p><p>"They even had a boys only soccer team and a girls only field hockey team, but those rules went out the window when I got my parents to complain and get me on the field hockey team."</p><p>"I'm forever known as the kid who fought for equality in that school lol"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqe1v5/students_of_reddit_what_was_the_weirdest_rule/gogfs2b?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">AdApprehensive4732</a></p>No Tans There
<p>"My school was very strict about uniform which was strange considering what they missed compared to the measures they took. I'd hazard a guess towards about 40% of all students wearing skinny jeans instead of the school trousers we were supposed to wear."</p><p>"While the year after I left, anyone with a tan was asked to bring in evidence of a holiday (there's no sun in Wales) kids with makeup were given wipes to clean it off and were sent home if they didn't and girls with skirts too high would have them pulled down by teachers."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqe1v5/students_of_reddit_what_was_the_weirdest_rule/goglggn?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Dream_Lands</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_10" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p><br></p><p>Now go back and recall your time in high school. Perhaps there were some real doozies that made absolutely no sense whatsover. </p><p>Or maybe they did make perfect sense, but only to your high school's small corner of the world. </p><p>Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter <a href="https://mailchi.mp/knowable/knowable-newsletter-in-content" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
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Teachers Break Down The Weirdest Item They've Ever Had To Take Away From A Student
February 22 | 2021
No matter the grade level, teachers are constantly being distracted in the classroom by unruly students.
<p>The usual suspects are the chatty pupils, and the class clown, always looking to amuse their fellow classmates. Usually, these obnoxious behaviors from students can be stopped with a warning.</p><p>But when objects are involved in disruption and the teacher physically has to walk down the aisle to retrieve something that has been thrown or that stole focus, that's just asking for detention or a trip to the principal's office.<br></p><p><strong>Curious to hear about the experiences of teachers on the internet, Redditor <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/SpoonSArmy/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">SpoonSArmy</a> asked:</strong><br></p><blockquote><em><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmu7zs/teachers_whats_the_weirdest_thing_youve_had_to/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">"Teachers, what's the weirdest thing you've had to take away from a student?"</a></em></blockquote> <img alt="" src="https://www.redditstatic.com/desktop2x/img/renderTimingPixel.png">
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Matters Of Food
<p>Most students cannot wait for the lunch bell, so they'll manifest lunchtime by sneaking in a snack during class, only to have them ripped from their hands. </p><p>One student, however, was genuinely terrified about a food item he had in his locker room.<br></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_36" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Something's Afoul
<p>"It was December or January and we were having one of those 'lockdowns' where the police come in with dogs to sniff for drugs. We were all locked in our classrooms and no students were allowed out, even to visit the restroom. One of my students was white as a ghost, very afraid. I asked him what's the matter, but it was obvious he was afraid he was about to get busted. He said 'Do you think the dogs will go to my locker?' I said 'I don't know, do you have something to be worried about?' He said 'There's a ham and cheese sandwich in there.' I scratched my head a bit, 'I'm sure it's no problem to have a sandwich.' He said, 'Yeah, but it's been in there since September.'"</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmu7zs/teachers_whats_the_weirdest_thing_youve_had_to/gnyl79n?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a><a target="_blank">teddyreddit</a><br></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_2" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Shakespear-ian Snack
<p>"Instant pudding. My student was mixing it in a large Cool Whip container, using milk from lunch, right in the middle of a lesson on Macbeth."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmu7zs/teachers_whats_the_weirdest_thing_youve_had_to/gnxpn58?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">bbpcaddict<br></a></p><p>"They were making their own witch's brew."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmu7zs/teachers_whats_the_weirdest_thing_youve_had_to/gnxwnd9?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">lyleelias</a><br></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_3" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Wrong Juice, Shelby
<p>"A wine cooler that looked like a Capri Sun. This was a 2nd grader and she was just getting ready to drink it."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmu7zs/teachers_whats_the_weirdest_thing_youve_had_to/gnxs1xz?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Psychological_Eye556</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_4" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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End To Torment
<p>No teacher appreciates being interrupted during a lesson, especially when the disruption is an aggressive one. <br></p><p>These teachers had to put a stop to violence in the classroom by removing "weapons."</p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_5" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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The Orb Of Death
<p>"Eyeballs. I worked with a blind student with autism. When he would get angry, he would pop out his glass eyeballs and throw them across the room. They were expensive, so mom asked that we put them in a plastic bag in his backpack if he threw them.... no more eyeballs for you today! 🙈"</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmu7zs/teachers_whats_the_weirdest_thing_youve_had_to/gnzqso0?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a><a target="_blank">wsdancergirl</a><br></p>Attempted Allergy Attack
<p>"First thing that came to mind - a drawing of a peanut. One kid said he had a peanut allergy, so a boy drew a peanut on a piece of paper, and started shoving it in the other boy's face and being a general jerk with it."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmu7zs/teachers_whats_the_weirdest_thing_youve_had_to/gnx7r57?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">ElderCunningham</a><br></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_6" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Decking The Halls, And Each Other
<p>Christmas ornaments. They were throwing them at each other and it eventually caused a fight.</p><p>Next to that would be a curtain rod. He found it and kept hitting people with it."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmu7zs/teachers_whats_the_weirdest_thing_youve_had_to/gnynrve?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">elemonator52</a><br></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_7" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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When Enough Is Enough
<p>Some items taken away involved more than one object at one time, starting with the contents of these contemptible gadgets.</p><div data-conversation-spotlight style="min-height:90px"></div>
Making Noise
<p>"Not a teacher, but was part of almost eliminating the 'prize' box in my kids class."</p><p>"Kid is in kindergarten. I'm freinds with a few of the other fathers in her class. One of the things her class has is a prize box. If the kids are all on their game for the week, or a kid does something especially good, they get to choose something from the box. Its filled with the kind of stuff you would find in a blister pack in the dollar store. Stuff like a little plastic car, or a bouncey ball or whatever. Anyway, the kids love it, the parents supply stuff for it."</p><p>"So one day my kid comes home with a f'king kazoo from the thing. Nothing like a 6 year old who just figured out how a kazoo works while you are trying to work from home."</p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_8" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p>"So immediately i fire off an email to the list of my fellow dads asking what wisea** put kazoos in the prize box, and then see that 2 other people had beat me to the question."</p><p>"One of the guys finally replies back 'heh'"</p><p>"and it was on. I countered with whistles, someone else had this annoying popping thing, someone else got the worlds worst balsa planes, so like, the second time it flew it was destined to snap in half and upset your kid....this went on for like a good 2 weeks before someone crossed the line and sent in glitter."</p><p>"By this point the teacher was on to us, and told our wives on us."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmu7zs/teachers_whats_the_weirdest_thing_youve_had_to/gnylndm?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Linenoise77</a><br></p>
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Something's A Buzz
<p>"An entire menagerie of live insects. One afternoon my class decided that they should see how many bugs they could capture and keep alive in my classroom. The next day, I returned from covering lunch duty in another part of the school and noticed that one of the cubbies had paper towel taped over the front like a curtain. Before I could investigate, I noticed several Tupperware containers hiding in desks."</p><p>"Dozens of worms (that was the cubby) Many assorted beetles Uncounted ants 4 bees A wasp And, most upsetting, several flies which were crazy glued to index cards and had their wings removed."</p><p>"That was a long day in a long year." </p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmu7zs/teachers_whats_the_weirdest_thing_youve_had_to/gnxwqcy?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Bookishfarmgirl</a><br></p>So Here's The Scoop(s)
<p>"a girl had about 50 plastic spoons in her pocket, she tripped and tey all fell out, we all found it hilarious but a high up teacher was walking by and made her pick them up (she was going to anyway) and put them all in the bin</p><p>he was probably very confused over the whole situation."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmu7zs/teachers_whats_the_weirdest_thing_youve_had_to/gnxi67i?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">WaterMelonShowerCap</a><br></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_10" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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My Experience
<p>I had something taken away from me while I was in eighth grade during English class for reasons that still leaves me with questions.</p><p>It was a book written by the master of horror, Stephen King, called <em data-redactor-tag="em" data-verified="redactor">The Tommyknockers</em>. I had it out on my desk and as soon as my teacher saw it, and she took it away and told me it was inappropriate for me to read. </p><p>How did she know? Did she read it? Or was it because Stephen King uses lewd language in all his novels? Or was she just punishing me because I was annoying and talkative in class? Full disclosure, it was because of the latter. </p><p>Sometimes, the mischievous ones are just asking for it. So students, always just pay attention and respect your teachers, m'kay?<br></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_11" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Teachers Divulge The Most Amusing Family Secrets They Accidentally Learned From Their Students
February 18 | 2021
Parents... one of the first life lessons you should be teaching your children is the art of discretion. Children have loose lips. That's why inappropriate four letter words could come flying out of their mouths at any given moment. Family secrets should be explained as such. I know when I was a kid I was a treasure trove of stories. I knew all about the family and neighborhood news because adults assumed I wasn't listening. The surprise was on them. Especially when all the news is aired to educators.
Redditor u/reasonable_doubt1776 couldn't wait to hear from the educators out there who've discovered some "surprising" facts about their pupils by asking... Teachers of Reddit, what amusing family secrets did you accidentally learn from your overly talkative students?<div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_1"></div>
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<p>Children are highly observant. And once they commit to memory something they've seen or heard, all bets are off. I would constantly call out people without knowing. Once, I heard my babysitter tell a friend she hated their other friend because said friend was a skank and she never wanted to see her again. So imagine my surprise a few days later when said friend shows up to hangout. I was confused. So I asked..<em>. "Isn't she the skank you never want to see again?"</em> I believe the people sharing on this thread understand the awkwardness of it all. </p>
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A shot in the... butt?
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTY1OTU2Ni9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY3NzIzNjQxMn0.CgRXtsbZwFaSLp2r7M26Ns7E_6BIHKLdz07vJt3gyo0/img.gif?width=980" id="31cf1" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="0790f975d087d0165d0326d59c8f1684" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="498" data-height="249" />Chemistry GIF by memecandyGiphy<p>I used to do science programming for kids. </p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_2" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p>In the middle of a library summer reading program, I picked a little girl, probably about 4-5 years old, to come up and be my volunteer for a magic trick, which then you explained the science of after it was done. I asked what her name was, she said it into the mic, zero shyness in front of approximately 200 kids and adults. I asked if she had ever heard of the "trick" we were going to do and she said, "Nope!</p>
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<p>My favorite dinosaur is a triceratops! And I like your shoes! My dad is back there HI DAD but my mom couldn't come tonight because she got a shot in her butt and can't sit on the hard chairs this place has." Dad (and all the other adults in the audience) were dying. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lkitqv/teachers_of_reddit_what_amusing_family_secrets/gnlmsyx?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Detective_Meow</a></p>
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Grandpa Died
<p>8th grader, excitedly: Mrs. Rosiedokidoki, guess what I found out? My grandpa was a nazi!</p><p>Me: do you know what a nazi is?</p><p>8th grader: no!!</p><p>Me: maybe you should go talk to your mom about that.</p><p>She came in the next day and went, "yeah my mom told me I can't tell people about my grandpa anymore." </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lkitqv/teachers_of_reddit_what_amusing_family_secrets/gnltgg1?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">rosiedokidoki</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_5" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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On the Swings
<p>I had a child once playing on the tire swing. He was a veeeeeeeeerrry serious kid and he looked me dead in the eye and said how much he liked the swing at daycare and how when he grew up he wanted to have a swing just like his mummy and daddy did in their bedroom... Looking his parents in the eye that day telling them he had a good day and keeping silent was difficult. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lkitqv/teachers_of_reddit_what_amusing_family_secrets/gnlpzyl?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Telfaatime</a></p><p>Teachers hear the craziest things. Someone needs to compile a comedy list of "overhearings" from educators and publish it as a coffee table book. The profits could single handedly fund schools in underprivileged areas for decades. It must make teachers like part of the family, at least for the day. </p>
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Congratulations!
<p>If someone in your family is pregnant, and you've told your child, I already know. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lkitqv/teachers_of_reddit_what_amusing_family_secrets/gnlkgt5?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">WildMage89</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_7" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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That's Quite a Tree
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTY1OTU3MS9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYxOTUwMjUxOH0.nwOQJrQ_NKBmg4UvkGEzwy3Y9oko0pzeFsbMZP_6Rtg/img.gif?width=980" id="e5c50" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="37ca2afdf939b8360befc2f0ae4c100b" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="270" />Giphy<p>Worked at an afterschool program run by the YMCA. Once had a 4th grader explain to me in detail how her sister was also her cousin.</p><p><strong><em>edit:</em></strong> they had the same dad and their moms were sisters, so half siblings through dad and 1st cousins through moms. having a 9 year old run you through that is quite a trip. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lkitqv/teachers_of_reddit_what_amusing_family_secrets/gnkjwzp?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">F0zzysW0rld</a></p><div data-conversation-spotlight style="min-height:90px"></div>
Show & Tell
<p>My daughter's kindergarten teacher told me about how one child entertained them at Show and Tell with a complete report on the new alarm system in their house including the code and where the keypad was located behind the curtains! </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lkitqv/teachers_of_reddit_what_amusing_family_secrets/gnl6ljj?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">SpeedyPrius</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_8" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Save the Water
<p>Kudos going out to all the teachers for glossing over the home stuff they learn!</p><p>My sister wrote in her daily journal in grade 1 that our parents had a shower together the night before. Teacher wrote "What a great way to save water!" </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lkitqv/teachers_of_reddit_what_amusing_family_secrets/gnl1gl3?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Careful-Drama</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_9" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p>I remember when I was about twelve and had just figured out sex on my own, I was at a friend's house and she mentioned offhandedly that her parents bath together. I was like, "that's a thing people do? When their kids are around to know?"</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lkitqv/teachers_of_reddit_what_amusing_family_secrets/gnl1gl3?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer"></a>My parents have always been very private, and I thought that was how everyone was. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lkitqv/teachers_of_reddit_what_amusing_family_secrets/gnlbeyv?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">shoopvedoobop</a></p>
<p>How many times do you think teachers take and use what they hear? like if it's not a horror story but a funny tagline... you know they use good comedy in real life or the class the following year. They probably owe some royalties for certain witty wisdoms that endeared them to others. The best writers steal, so do teachers. I can feel it. </p>
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I'm the DJ
<p>Here's a cute and lighthearted one—I had a girl stay for some help after school one day. At the time I was teaching geometry (10th grade) in a mostly Hispanic school. She told me about growing up in Peru until about the age of 10 or so (I can't remember the exact age she told me). She was telling me that she worked with her uncle sometimes on the weekend. I asked what kind of work—many of our kids worked construction with their families.</p><p>"He's a clown... I'm his DJ." That really gave me a smile. </p><p> <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lkitqv/teachers_of_reddit_what_amusing_family_secrets/gnl974f?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">calcbone</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_11" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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In the Kitchen
<p>We were talking about calling 911, but what a real emergency is. This is tricky with 10 year olds because you want to use real emergency examples but not freak them out. One kid... "so if your mom gives birth in the kitchen, that's an emergency"</p><p>Sure enough mom picks him up with his baby brother who was born last week in their kitchen. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lkitqv/teachers_of_reddit_what_amusing_family_secrets/gnlpnm9?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">icamom</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_12" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Nunna Yo!
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTY1OTU1OC9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYyNzUxMTE0OH0.wTh7JsNW6bIyr75BVRIHADA-ZIiMaUeOiWyC2W2SQGk/img.gif?width=980" id="358eb" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="075260a7d4b52870e221373251877461" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="500" data-height="500" />None Of Your Business No GIF by Late Night with Seth MeyersGiphy<p>4th grade. A student on Zoom the other day asked why another student had been gone a few weeks, and we all heard his mom in the back yell, "Boy, that is nunna yo damn business!" before he muted. I almost burst laughing but I held my composure. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lkitqv/teachers_of_reddit_what_amusing_family_secrets/gnlejoh?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">UndercoverPackersFan</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_13" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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High Tea Lady
<p>One of my students once said "Mummy wants to know if you want to come round for tea because daddy is away at work."</p><p>The mother couldn't look at me for weeks on the playground, cause I think she heard her daughter ask me. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lkitqv/teachers_of_reddit_what_amusing_family_secrets/gnl62en?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Fallen189</a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lkitqv/teachers_of_reddit_what_amusing_family_secrets/gnl62en?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer"></a>Well, what's wrong with a bit of tea? She probably just wants another grown up around to talk to. </p><p><span></span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lkitqv/teachers_of_reddit_what_amusing_family_secrets/gnljdfi?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Emperor_Cartagia</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_14" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Puff Up
<p>I did a placement once and students had to talk about what they would do with a million dollars. One kid gets up in front of the class and goes "My mum said if she had a million dollars, she would buy lots and lots and lots and lots of weed." </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lkitqv/teachers_of_reddit_what_amusing_family_secrets/gnlimlc?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Sleep-Gary</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_15" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p>Lord the world is a mess for the youth isn't it? If kids had even half a clue about what they're saying... they'd be too mortified to leave the house. </p>
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11th grade blues...
<p>An 11th grader was talking about how he moved back with his grandparent's when his mom dies. He mentioned that his mom also attended this school and so did his dad, but he never met him. He only new his dad's first name. So he says the name in my "get to know other students first day ice breaker." A freshman girl asked a few pointed questions, pulls out her phone and calls their dad. Dad is there within 15 min. <span></span></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_17" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p>Turns out the dead mom's family moved mom out of the city to hide the pregnancy and the dad only knew the child's first name. Dad spent years trying unsuccessfully to track his kid down. The dad settled down becomes an EMT, gets married, has 3 daughters, the oldest daughter was the freshman. There was a GD family reunion in my ice breaker on the first day of school.</p>
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<p><strong><em>Edit:</em> </strong>Thanks for the awards everyone. Some points: the boys mom and dad were high school students when she became pregnant. I don't think that was clear. Mom moved from (downtown major northern city) to Alabama or Louisiana to be with her (grand)fathers, the boy got the (grand)fathers name (not sure if it was the moms father or grandfather). The dad would not have had the money or resources to trace the mom's movement, this would be in the pager/cassette days not cell phones and Facebook. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lkitqv/teachers_of_reddit_what_amusing_family_secrets/gnloald?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">wittbrij</a></p>
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"Kid Beer"
<p>While I taught 4th grade, I had a kid tell me that his dad works on car rims at night. Another one told my friend, the bilingual teacher, that she came back from visiting family in Mexico over the weekend by going through the river. Edited to add, another one! I taught the son of a 2nd grade teacher. </p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_20" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p>He came in one weekend talking about drinking lots of "kid beer" over the weekend at his dad's house. His mom stopped by later and I mentioned the story, she shook her head and said, "It's apple juice, I keep telling his dad to stop calling it kid beer!" Thanks for the awards! These are my very first ones! </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lkitqv/teachers_of_reddit_what_amusing_family_secrets/gnlkcxp?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">sjs1244</a></p>
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Now that is Drama
<p>Okay, so not a teacher but in grade 9 there was a girl who got completely plastered in the girls bathroom. And my 14 year old self had one too many slushies at lunch so I ran into her there. This girl's makeup was a complete mess and since I was at the peak of social anxiety problems I just tried to slip away. </p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_22" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p>As usual I was too late and this girl clung to my arm and fell apart sobbing to me about how her boyfriend had gotten her mother pregnant. I ended up missing the rest of the day to sit in the corner of the bathroom with this girl I had never met before in my life, and we never talked again. But man, I feel bad for that disfunction family. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lkitqv/teachers_of_reddit_what_amusing_family_secrets/gnl4c7u?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">madyhatter44</a></p>
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Mrs. A
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTY4NDYzNS9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY1NDY2ODQ5N30.HlTlCDj_88ljCiMr8a6Yc9qQ7pMT50sP7aRZYfu7gio/img.gif?width=980" id="b8ff3" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="0abac8eeb214bd58f3d9d70ed03069a5" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="320" data-height="240" />hemorrhoids GIFGiphy<p>Used to teach prekindergarten. I had one kid who would tell me every month when her mom was on her period. "Mrs. A, my mom is bleeding from her butt again." 😅 At least, I hope that is what was going on or that poor lady had some severe hemorrhoids lmao. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lkitqv/teachers_of_reddit_what_amusing_family_secrets/gnlkgau?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">lvlarie84</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_24" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p>If I was a teacher I bug my classrooms. Then I'd go home and wrote everything down, change some names and wrote a novel, heck a series of novels. I'd be a millionaire. In fact...</p>
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Dad's Anatomy Issues
<p>Several years ago, I did a brief stint teaching junior high (I now teach high school). In that time, I learned a <em>lot</em> of information from students that, I am sure, parents would prefer I had not learned.</p><p>The one that stands out the most to me was the boy who accidentally let it slip to the entire class that dad has a small penis.</p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_26" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p>The bell hadn't rung to start class yet, so I was letting the kids (seventh grade) be a little crazy and get some of their pent-up energy out before we began class.</p><p>I hear one boy say to another "shut up, you'll always have a tiny penis."</p><p>The kid, in a moment of suicide by words, just said "I've seen my dad naked. He's tiny. You're probably right."</p><p>Thank God the bell rang and I was able to move the kids onto their actual lessons. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lkitqv/teachers_of_reddit_what_amusing_family_secrets/gnlboua?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Onyx_Owl</a></p>
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Road to Hell
<p>A bit different but nonetheless hilarious. My step brother was in kindergarten & his teacher overheard him say to about 5 other kids, "I've been to hell & back & let me tell you, it's freakin scary!" The teacher had to discipline him but then right after stepped out of the room & proceeded to laugh her butt off. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lkitqv/teachers_of_reddit_what_amusing_family_secrets/gnlhurw?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">boots311</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_28" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Quit the Smoke
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTY4NDY1OC9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY2MDc5MjU0Nn0.B7snTE-uDtwr7K25caJjUNNst8_zkUSy--w41VnvMMw/img.gif?width=980" id="9b9ba" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="34f68a055b3581c1b32e09f75bb0efb0" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="370" data-height="278" />mothers day smoking GIFGiphy<p>It was my own child actually. My husband had just quit smoking and my daughter was in kindergarten had proceeded to go and tell everybody that her father had quit doing drugs. <em>Tobacco=drugs.</em> I had quite a number of coworkers and parents come asking me if everything was okay at home. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lkitqv/teachers_of_reddit_what_amusing_family_secrets/gnlbvax?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Thelazywitch</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_29" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p>Children are always going to surprise you. That is the only fact you can count on when you go into education. I remember several times in school my teachers shushing me when I wasn't appropriate, but with a smirk. I once announced my mother's age to the class and that was when my teacher, Mrs. Klein, informed me that gentlemen never discuss a ladies age. But I know she found it amusing and she used it as wisdom. Good on Mrs. Klein. </p>
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<p class=""><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lkitqv/teachers_of_reddit_what_amusing_family_secrets/" target="_blank">REDDIT</a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lkitqv/teachers_of_reddit_what_amusing_family_secrets/" target="_blank"></a>Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter <a href="https://mailchi.mp/knowable/knowable-newsletter-in-content" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
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Image by Bruno /Germany from Pixabay
Sex is never an easy topic to broach. Even when you're in a relationship. So one can only imagine what it's like to discuss the birds and the bees with teenagers or youth in general. That discussion can be just as excruciating as chatting about it with granny. But kids have to be educated and boy do they have thoughts on the matter. Better to learn through class than online though.
<p><em></em>Redditor <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l4x9zj/sexed_teachers_of_reddit_what_was_the_one_most/" target="_blank">u/ShadowAssassinVI</a> wanted to hear from fornication educators out there, they were curious about... </p><p>Sex-Ed teachers of Reddit, what was the one most disturbing question or class you've ever taught?</p>
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All at Once...
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTU1ODc3OC9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY2MTUyMzE3NH0.qcWtRZmajaS95T4Wp38aVATlkb4OxGN2hOxUCv0_VO4/img.gif?width=980" id="22cda" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="c2842e6f34f0d868ae341a00345d8cc2" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="324" />Confused Lauren Conrad GIF by The HillsGiphy<p>One of the jocks wanted to know if you were supposed to put your testicles inside a woman's vagina during intercourse. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l4x9zj/sexed_teachers_of_reddit_what_was_the_one_most/gks6rod?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">SmokyQuartzz87</a><span></span></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_36" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Facts
<p>Less disturbing and more naive: an eighth grader stayed after her health class to talk to the teacher as I was coming into the room to teach my next section. I overheard her explain that the teacher had said if a girl's period is late, she should take a pregnancy test... But did she need to do that if she'd never had sex? </p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_2" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p>The teacher, thinking perhaps there'd been some contact other than intercourse that had the girl worried, asked how long it had been since her last period... to which she said she hadn't had her first one, yet. So, a virgin who hasn't started menstruating thought she could be pregnant, because her first period hadn't arrived by age 13. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l4x9zj/sexed_teachers_of_reddit_what_was_the_one_most/gkrsqan?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">BobosBigSister</a></p>
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Seriously?
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTU1ODc4Mi9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYzMDQ4NTY4Mn0.kS4oU6iRE38XPN0ZBneb49IH8LbV7mD3hR6xEsAn-OU/img.gif?width=980" id="d3d63" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="4ad554bbd88ed1059c4e9b25f8720cfe" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="400" data-height="275" />new girl facepalm GIF by HULUGiphy<p>'If you masturbate yourself, doesn't that mean you're gay?</p><p>It was something to think about. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l4x9zj/sexed_teachers_of_reddit_what_was_the_one_most/gksaz91?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Rawscent</a><span></span></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_4" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Hatching...
<p>Not a teacher but some kid in my health class asked very nervously if men had eggs. When my teacher said no and explained it he legit looked so relieved. I'm not sure what he was scared of but at least he got corrected before it became an issue lmao. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l4x9zj/sexed_teachers_of_reddit_what_was_the_one_most/gks61iy?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">s3s4m3s33d</a><span></span></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_5" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Please Go
<p>Not a teacher. I was in college intro to psych and one of my classmates asked our GTA why humans couldn't have sex with animals - in front of all of us. The GTA turned red and said it was for several reasons and she'd speak with her after class. The student kept prodding and asking the same thing different ways. The GTA finally dismissed class. That girl never came back to class - and she wasn't joking around. She seriously didn't understand it. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l4x9zj/sexed_teachers_of_reddit_what_was_the_one_most/gks727u?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">The_Curvy_Unicorn</a></p>T. M. I.
<p>My husband was the teacher. He was new, fresh out of college, teaching in an all-boys, $20,000 a year school. It was the "ask anything, no judgement" part of the lesson and an boy asked him: "does vagina from different girls taste different?" </p><p>...and my then-24 year old husband said "yeah, for sure, like if she smokes or something, you can taste it. Vegetarian girls taste the best."</p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_6" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p><em>OMG.</em></p><p>He does not work there any more. Obviously.</p><p>Thankfully in the last 20 years, he's become an awesome educator... he's a little less green now and would totally halt that train of conversation now. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l4x9zj/sexed_teachers_of_reddit_what_was_the_one_most/gks9jal?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Schmoopie986</a></p>
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Silly Boy
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTU1ODc5MC9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYzMzc2MDQyNH0.RL6ZuNXU760x3gQHwQEb6Tjjec83qE1rTlnFIV05wf0/img.gif?width=980" id="eca34" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="684c960fc8f54dca9a62d0ba0980a640" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="500" data-height="247" />That Is Adorable Judy Greer GIF by Team CocoGiphy<p>Not disturbing, just innocent. An 11th grade boy asked me if it was possible to permanently run out of semen by masturbating too much. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l4x9zj/sexed_teachers_of_reddit_what_was_the_one_most/gkr6r2u?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">ontrack</a><span></span></p><div data-conversation-spotlight style="min-height:90px"></div>
Bad Dean
<p>Not a teacher (sorry). But having just read a completely screwed-up Dean Koontz book at the age of 9, I asked my sex ed teacher if, as I had read, a person born with both sex organs could impregnate themselves.</p><p>He answered the question accurately, age appropriately and with a completely straight face. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l4x9zj/sexed_teachers_of_reddit_what_was_the_one_most/gkr685y?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">scurvy_knave</a><span></span></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_8" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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No Substitutions
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTU1ODc5OC9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY2MDAzMjM0Mn0.0RyQOqozxP0nm0snT-9F-3GUCPCxkrlx_ELlFOGHD1E/img.gif?width=980" id="ec80d" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="0185ed72421c4fa40f49150181f39bae" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="480" />Schitts Creek Comedy GIF by CBCGiphy<p>Not a sex-ed teacher, but a girl in my class asked our biology teacher whether semen could be used as a replacement for breastmilk. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l4x9zj/sexed_teachers_of_reddit_what_was_the_one_most/gks5ayh?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Ferdinand33</a><span></span></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_9" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l4x9zj/sexed_teachers_of_reddit_what_was_the_one_most/" target="_blank">REDDIT</a></p><p>Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter <a href="https://mailchi.mp/knowable/knowable-newsletter-in-content" target="_blank">here</a>. <br></p>
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As kids, we spent about 8 hours every day in school for 10 months of each year. Not surprisingly, a few useless lessons made their way into the curriculum.
Well, maybe more than a few.
<p>A recent Reddit thread explored the most common examples of lessons taught in school that either went on to be the opposite of the truth, or at least be utterly useless in the long run. </p><p>The thread tended toward the life-lessons and teacherly explanations of character far more than the actual information taught. </p><p>gunguy627 asked, <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">"What is the most f***ing useless thing that they teach in school?"</a></p>
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Backfired
<p>"0-tolerance policy is the dumbest thing ever taught and implemented."</p><p>"All it teaches is to fear authority when you're the victim. It enables the perpetrator (who is normally a bully)."</p><p>"I know administrators are lazy, but they need to actually investigate the goddamn problem instead of saying, 'hey you both were involved in the issue so you're both going to get punished.'"</p><p>"It basically just raises you to hate authority, and while I don't like authorities either I don't think they're all distrustful. Although, I guess this could be interpreted as commentary on how garbage authority is."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gji1860?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">HotSiracha1134</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_36" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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It Worked, Didn't It
<p>"That sticking up for yourself is wrong. I punched a kid in the face because he was being physically abusive to me."</p><p>"He grabbed my arms and spun us in circles, intending to let go once I would be sort of thrown through the air. I got an arm loose and punched him in the face before that happened."</p><p>"Instead of him being expelled I, a female half his size, was forced to apologize for defending myself. I'm still mad."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gjiinlw?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">justice-knifeblade</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_2" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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The Unicycle Budget
<p>"Our elementary school was heavy into unicycles. Gym class year round was learning to ride, then ride together, and in formation."</p><p>"I was one of the unlucky few who never got it (I can't dance or ride a bike either, so I suspect there's some balance issues)."</p><p>"School all but threatened to hold me back a year until I learned how. Everyone forgot and never picked it up again as soon as they moved to middle school."</p><p>"Worst part is that we were a very poor school in a very rural area without much funding. I can't imagine how much the school spent on those unicycles. There was no sponsorship, and we weren't competing in anything."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gjgybtf?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">sezah</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_3" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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A Bizarre Exercise
<p>"Not exactly something they teach in general, but in my high school music class, we had to memorize our national anthem in a different language (we used to be a colony and it was originally written in the colonizer's language.)"</p><p>"And then sing it out loud with the same melody and all, except you're parroting a bunch of words that you don't understand. Over a decade later and I still think it was a pointless exercise"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gjh1snm?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">BlizzardousBane</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_4" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Egg Baby
<p>"how to 'take care of a baby' by"</p><ol><li>bringing in an egg</li><li>having the teacher sign the egg</li><li>decorating, protecting, and carrying the egg at all times for two days</li><li>revealing to the teacher at the end of day 2 that the egg was still in tact, without cracks.</li></ol><p>"all that taught me was how to take care of an egg."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gjia5r2?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">archikat007</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_5" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Sport Facts
<p>"In Phys Ed they had us take actual written tests a few times sitting on the gym floor. Questions like where was basketball invented, what are the rules of pickle, yadda yadda, other useless sh**." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gjgqyxo?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">GummyZerg</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"That's the kind of bullsh** that happens when the only way to prove you're doing something is to provide data."</p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Teachers are forced to do things which generate data because the traditional outcomes don't provide enough evidence for someone at the state or distinct admin office to know you're doing your job." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gjh7qnm?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Beeb294</a></p>The Definition of Busy Work
<p>"When I was in primary school we got taught about digital roots, it's where you take a number, add up all the digits and repeat if you have more than 1 digit, so 684 = 6+8+4 = 18 = 1 + 8 = 9."</p><p>"Nobody else has ever heard of this."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gjh998n?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">emu404</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_6" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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If Only Bullies Valued My Opinion
<p>"That if someone's bullying you you tell them that you don't like it. like no sh**, that's why they do it." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gjhzzcd?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">dr_pepper_cans</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"My grandmother used to tell my dad, my brothers, and me 'If someone hits you, tell them you don't like to get hit!' Most useless piece of advice that has been taught to society." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gjido7g?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ZIONSCROLLS</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"The only thing that ever helped me with bullies at that age, was fighting back. I tried everything else. But the teachers punished me more than the bullies for it, they'd always say 'it doesn't matter who started it' - which is f***ing bullsh**. I'm still mad." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gjie14y?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">yas_yas</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_7" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Keep Those Clavicles Covered
<p>"That if we cover our shoulders and legs boys will stop looking at us" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gjh828n?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">shlee_e</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"As a guy this rule just taught me that bare shoulders are provocative and now I get all flustered seeing a cute girl in something showing her shoulders. This clearly didn't work as intended." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gjhy9zj?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Lunarskies92</a></p><div data-conversation-spotlight style="min-height:90px"></div>
Useful Lessons
<p>"I don't know, but if they don't start teaching people how to spot fake news soon, we're all gonna be living under dictatorships." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gjgs84h?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">thegoatwrote</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"All of us learned to do research papers in school, but how many of us made the jump to doing any kind of basic research in the real world?" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gjgtiwy?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">somebodys_mom</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Broadly speaking, that's called the humanities, and it's been grossly under-appreciated and under-funded for decades at this point" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gjh93d4?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">jman939</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_8" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Dichotomies
<p>"Left Brain vs Right Brain. Not only is it not true, it just divided all the kids from 'smart kids' to 'art kids.'"</p><p>"No need for that."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gji7qfw?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Krissybelle</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_9" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Not So Useless After All
<p>"to hide under the desk if we get nuked" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gjhm4zm?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">LegalizeBeltfedz</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"The reason is falling debris and glass."</p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"It's highly unlikely you'll be killed by explosion or incinerated by the radiation outright. Chances are a nuke isn't going to fall on your school."</p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"The shockwave goes significantly further and can shatter glass and break apart buildings. Sheltering under your desk provides some cover from that." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gjihb66?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">CrowGrandFather</a></p>Some Stuff is Just Easier to Measure
<p>"'Character counts'"</p><p>"It was our school's motto. The school also actively punished honesty and integrity when it mattered, and instead held award ceremonies for students who showed basic human decency like 'hey you dropped this in the hallway, here you go.'"</p><p>"You would get awards for not being a piece of sh**, but if you decide to show any real character like stepping up for your friends when they're in trouble, you get detention."</p><p>"Let it be known: Erindale Secondary School in Ontario, Canada is a sh** hole."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gji0pdq?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Gensi_Alaria</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_10" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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People Don't Suddenly Become Saints When They Turn 18
<p>"Not a lesson but they teach you to respect adults no matter what."</p><p>"That's how teachers get away with so much nonsense. It's how parents get away with abuse. Kids are taught to 'respect adults' but what they really teach them is 'dont do anything to inconvenience an adult.'"</p><p>"So a kid is more likely to keep their mouth shut if they're getting molested or beat."</p><p>"They need to teach instead that respect is earned and not to blindly trust people just because they have seniority or authority over you, that you have a right to make a judgement on somebody if they're doing something bad."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gjhwi8f?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Ghostspider1989</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_11" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Skills for Life
<p>"Square dancing."</p><p>"It was put into the curriculum at US schools after heavy lobbying from industrialist Henry Ford. He didn't like the awful, new modern dances people were doing, like the Charleston."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gjgs7xo?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Scrappy_Larue</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_12" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Drugs in School
<p>"D.A.R.E. was the single worst useless thing every taught at school. Especially when the cop teaching said class ends up getting arrested for drugs." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gji2iso?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Randumbthoghts</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Studies show DARE <em>increases</em> drug use because 1) when they realize DARE is lying about weed, they assume DARE is lying about other drugs and 2) so much emphasis on resisting peer pressure makes kids assume everyone is doing drugs, so they have to do them to fit in" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gjipazf?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">tacos_yeah_tacos</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_13" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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