Photo by Kylo on Unsplash

"This is a maaaaaan's world!" **in my very best James Brown voice**


But that doesn't necessarily mean they're all out here having the time of their life. Reddit user "Kyoto_j" asked:

"Guys of reddit, whats one thing you hate about being a dude?"

So we're about to be very honest here and admit that I don't know what I was expecting, but it wasn't this. Yeah, we're about to talk about penises (a lot) but there's a lot more going on than just "locker room" jokes.

We'll totally start there, though...

Problematic Peeing

peeing feels so good GIF Giphy

"Split stream when I pee." - Bantabury97

"A few mornings back I finally did it, guys. The legendary triple stream is real. Rejoice." - theyfoundmeomg

"And the little dribble at the end I can't begin to count how many times I thought I was safe and then had to wash my pants" - FlowerGlock

Traumatic Erections

Awkward Ed Helms GIF by The Office Giphy

"When I was in middle school having to deal with spontaneous erections was so embarrassing to the point of being traumatic."

"Girls have periods, and we can never compete with that level of inconvenience, but these members of ours ain't a walk in the park." - lastusernameiswearr

"I'm 34 and it still happens from time to time. Mostly when I'm tired and bored, which usually happens at meetings and courses for work, similar environments to a schoolroom. Going to the bathroom to crank one out, and chugging down some caffeine usually helps." - Hawk_Thor

Sensitive

Tobey Maguire Reaction GIF Giphy

"I'm very, very emotionally sensitive and people laugh at me for it."

"Just the other day I made a post in a Facebook group reviewing a restaurant I had a great experience in, and all these strange men and women made fun of me. I wish I could blow it off but it hurt my feelings so bad, and I can't just move on and shake it off."

"I wanted to either write every mean person who wrote, and tell them how much they hurt my feelings, or hurt them myself. I still even get caught up thinking for hours sometimes about my bullies in primary school. I'm 31."

"Men can't talk to anyone." - Yusi-D-Jordan

Bad Intentions

Rainn Wilson Running GIF by Cooties Giphy

"I'm always worried if people think I'm being a creep or a perv or something. A lot of messed up sh*t happens in the world and I don't blame anyone, but I hate being self-conscious about it." - Hidden_Squid14

"Yep, I would never dream of harming a kid and I keep friendly around them, but I fear that people will think ill of my intentions when I'm just being nice to the kid who decided to say hi to me" - Furydragonstormer

"When my kids were little I had the cops called on me (twice) for being at a playground with my kids during the day."

"They said the women thought I had kidnapped them or something like that. My sons look a lot like me (poor boys)." - Reloaded9mm

"Yes, this is a big one for me. I pretty much always ignore kids unless I'm forced to acknowledge their presence."

"When I was younger, there was a friend of mine who had an adorable daughter who was 3 or 4 and for some insane reason she loved me to pieces. I didn't do anything to deserve her affection, but she almost always came over to me and just smiled and hung around me."

"I wasn't very comfortable around kids, and I'm still not, but after a while I started to get used to her and actually liked playing with her and talking to her. It was entirely innocent, and not anything I sought out. But it turns out her family thought she hung around me all the time because I did something inappropriate to her, or something."

"I think they were mostly just questioning my motives for playing with her and talking to her."

"They once asked me if I gave her candy and whenever she came over to me someone would stand there awkwardly, watching me out of the corner of their eye. In a way I don't blame them. I'm a pretty big guy, and it might be hard to believe I would never hurt anything or anyone."

"But finding out that people thought I was creepy because an adorable little girl wanted to be my friend, which I honestly had no control over was a major hit to my self esteem." - Im_Just_Cake

Fatherhood Is Fabulous

Fathers Day Dad GIF by America's Funniest Home Videos Giphy

"I'm a stay at home dad. I don't know how to put it simply, or what the right term is, but I have been semi-frequently harassed, berated, and otherwise made to look foolish or feel ashamed because I'm a man who loves his babies."

"Out at the park with my son? 'Poor guy has to be with his kids while the missus is at home. She must have him whipped.' "

"At the grocery store with the baby? 'Oh you're so sweet doing this for your wife.' "

"At the doctor doing checkups/shots? I'll have to deal with random people saying I either don't know what I'm talking about, that I just think my son is special, that I cant be trusted to give info on their health because I'm not their mom, and that I 'need to tell my wife...' "

"Those aren't bad, it's just obnoxious."

"The part that really sucks is that my friends make fun of me for it, or when an argument happen they throw it in my face that I don't have a job and therefore am not a real man."

"Just the status quo that a man must work to death and a woman is the only one fit to stay home grinds my gears."

"I know how to change a diaper. Yes, I'm happy. Yes, it was MY choice to stay home."

"No, I don't mind not getting to f*ck off with my friends all the time. Yes, I know how to deal with children's medical issues."

"And no, I wouldn't trade it for the world." - D3athraxys

Size Matters

twin peaks head shake GIF by Twin Peaks on Showtime Giphy

"I'm 6'3" and I have a problem with feeling imposing even though I'm just trying to exist."

"I'm very awkward because of it, because I not only watch every word that comes out of my mouth, but I'm also very aware of how tall I am & that some people, usually women, might be more guarded towards me if they don't know me."

"The biggest issue is where I work."

"I work in retail and there's a lot of underage 17 year old kids working there. I usually don't talk with them for too long because I'm afraid I'll seem creepy to them, or to people who might be pricking up their ears to make sure I'm not trying to make a move on them or something like that."

"And I hope I don't come across like my problems are bigger than other people's. But these are definitely problems I face on a day to day basis." - Im_Just_A_Cake

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"One of my best friends has talked to me about this issue. He is a big guy (6'5") with a beard. He definitely has a presence."

"Even though he is amazing with kids he avoids them because he tries so hard to avoid a sense of impropriety. It's very sad to me that he misses out on the joy kids can bring because of societal expectations and biases."

"Similarly if a woman is walking alone at night he will go out of his way to walk on the other side of the street or farther away from her so she doesn't feel threatened."

"These discussions with him gave me a lot of perspective. As a woman I have not really worried about my presence being intimidating or threatening to others, so hearing how hard he tries to make others comfortable made me kind of sad." - deej394

"Came here to post this. I'm 6'4 250lbs and tend to walk to the gym at night in the city."

"The shortest route is a side street which is basically an alley at some parts. I tend to walk somewhat quickly and I always somehow end up behind a younger woman."

"Undoubtedly I scare them as I try to walk quickly past to avoid being any more looming as a dangerous person as I might look. I always feel guilty like I'm doing something wrong when I'm just trying to walk. I didn't ask to be this big haha" - Rybobo

Pumpkin Abduction

Tired Good Night GIF Giphy

"I live in Rhode Island. At our zoo we have a pumpkin festival in October. The tickets are expensive but it's fun and they have pumpkin beer."

"Anyway I bought two tickets for me and a friend to go. That day he was sick and canceled. I ended up taking my nearly two-year-old daughter."

"We had a good time. When I was going home I realized that it was nearly 8:00 pm and we hadn't eaten dinner, so we stopped into a local restaurant."

"My daughter was well behaved. We ate dinner and left. She was a little testy as we got to the car but nothing unusual in any way."

"We go home and my daughter goes to sleep."

"About a half an hour later, a cop shows up. He said someone from the restaurant called the police thinking I abducted her."

"They said she seemed 'too quiet' when we were eating. It was 8:30 when we ate and her bedtime is normally 8:00 so yeah she was probably a little sedate."

"But seriously!?"

"Anyway, we wake up our daughter and she's clearly in no danger. The cop apologized and left. To be fair to the cop, I think he thought the whole thing was ridiculous from the start but had to do his job."

"But this would have NEVER would have happened if my wife would have brought my daughter and not me! I was basically accused of being a child trafficker because my daughter was a little sleepy." - Geri-psychiatrist-RI

Compliments, Please

olivia culpo adam GIF Giphy

"Never received a compliment in my life expect the time a girl told me she liked my boots in 8th grade."

"Thanks Maddie I appreciate it still" - Aviator122

"I sometimes hate how much I crave compliments." - tpaolicchi

"I'm 38 and the last time someone complimented on my looks or appearance was when I was 30 at my old job when a woman said my glasses and hat combo really suited me." - Fkyourslipper

"It's super rare, for sure."

"A woman at the bus stop once told me my sweater looked nice and I instinctually asked 'Excuse me?' thinking I misheard, 'cause there's no way a woman just complimented me...'cause that never happens."

"It was super nice, made my day. Ladies: compliment men too, please." - putinmy@ss

Support Systems?

Jimmy Fallon No GIF by The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon Giphy

"There's no support for men. Try to file for food stamps as a single man, or see how the courts treat you if you get a divorce, or talk about needing therapy."

"You get the same advice every time: 'go work out, throw yourself into your work, get a hobby.' "

"One of the most destructive, most infuriating thing people can say is, 'Man Up.' "

"Well, I'm not a stoic piece of driftwood, I'm human. I have feelings and basic needs just like anyone else - and its literally deadly to hold that sh*t in."

"Yeah, our fathers and their fathers held their feelings in, but they also dropped dead in their 40s and 50s of massive heart attacks." - GhostOnToast

Creepy At A Kid's Movie

Bill Hader Popcorn GIF by Saturday Night Live Giphy

"Per my dad who loves animation:"

"Now that my kids are grown, I have to wait a few weeks when a movie comes out so I can see it and not be the creepy solo older man at a kids movie." - M0ck_duck

"I went to see 'The Secret of Nimh' a few years ago back when the Alamo Drafthouse would show kids movies on Saturday mornings."

"I bought a soda, some popcorn and settled in."

"About 30 minutes in I realized an employee was standing directly behind me (I was in the back row.) He didn't move until the movie was over." - cbpantskiller

Responsibility

Tired Tv Land GIF by TV Land Classic Giphy

"Kind of a love/hate thing, but being responsible - for the wife, the kids, the house, cars, everything."

"At the end of the day, when something goes wrong or everyone is scared, everyone looks down the table to me and says 'What are we gonna do?' "

"Goes with the role of being the 'man of the house,' but it does wear me out." - Opposite-Algae8912

No One Told My Heart

Sad Sterling K Brown GIF by This Is Us Giphy

"For me, it was when my wife and I lost 4 children during late term pregnancy in just 5 years. It was loss after loss after loss."

"Everyone always asked me how my wife was doing and told me how sorry they felt for her. Not once did anyone ask or care about how I was doing."

"I put my wife first always, but it would have been nice for someone to care about how I was doing. I felt like nobody did; even my mother said guys don't get attached till the child is born."

"I guess no one told my heart that rule." - Successful_Panic7184

Thanks, Homer

Homer Simpson Reaction GIF Giphy

"Dumb Husband Syndrome."

"Thanks to Homer Simpson, Phil Dunphy, Al Bundy, etc., the entire world seems to believe that your standard husband is too stupid to accomplish even the most mundane task on his own."

"I've seen a lot of guys (myself included) just going about their business and people feel compelled to step in and correct them or tell them how to do something." - SeaTie

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