"This is a maaaaaan's world!" **in my very best James Brown voice**
But that doesn't necessarily mean they're all out here having the time of their life. Reddit user "Kyoto_j" asked:
So we're about to be very honest here and admit that I don't know what I was expecting, but it wasn't this. Yeah, we're about to talk about penises (a lot) but there's a lot more going on than just "locker room" jokes.
We'll totally start there, though...
Problematic Peeingpeeing feels so good GIF Giphy
"Split stream when I pee." - Bantabury97
"A few mornings back I finally did it, guys. The legendary triple stream is real. Rejoice." - theyfoundmeomg
"And the little dribble at the end I can't begin to count how many times I thought I was safe and then had to wash my pants" - FlowerGlock
Traumatic ErectionsAwkward Ed Helms GIF by The Office Giphy
"When I was in middle school having to deal with spontaneous erections was so embarrassing to the point of being traumatic."
"Girls have periods, and we can never compete with that level of inconvenience, but these members of ours ain't a walk in the park." - lastusernameiswearr
"I'm 34 and it still happens from time to time. Mostly when I'm tired and bored, which usually happens at meetings and courses for work, similar environments to a schoolroom. Going to the bathroom to crank one out, and chugging down some caffeine usually helps." - Hawk_Thor
SensitiveTobey Maguire Reaction GIF Giphy
"I'm very, very emotionally sensitive and people laugh at me for it."
"Just the other day I made a post in a Facebook group reviewing a restaurant I had a great experience in, and all these strange men and women made fun of me. I wish I could blow it off but it hurt my feelings so bad, and I can't just move on and shake it off."
"I wanted to either write every mean person who wrote, and tell them how much they hurt my feelings, or hurt them myself. I still even get caught up thinking for hours sometimes about my bullies in primary school. I'm 31."
"Men can't talk to anyone." - Yusi-D-Jordan
Bad IntentionsRainn Wilson Running GIF by Cooties Giphy
"I'm always worried if people think I'm being a creep or a perv or something. A lot of messed up sh*t happens in the world and I don't blame anyone, but I hate being self-conscious about it." - Hidden_Squid14
"Yep, I would never dream of harming a kid and I keep friendly around them, but I fear that people will think ill of my intentions when I'm just being nice to the kid who decided to say hi to me" - Furydragonstormer
"When my kids were little I had the cops called on me (twice) for being at a playground with my kids during the day."
"They said the women thought I had kidnapped them or something like that. My sons look a lot like me (poor boys)." - Reloaded9mm
"Yes, this is a big one for me. I pretty much always ignore kids unless I'm forced to acknowledge their presence."
"When I was younger, there was a friend of mine who had an adorable daughter who was 3 or 4 and for some insane reason she loved me to pieces. I didn't do anything to deserve her affection, but she almost always came over to me and just smiled and hung around me."
"I wasn't very comfortable around kids, and I'm still not, but after a while I started to get used to her and actually liked playing with her and talking to her. It was entirely innocent, and not anything I sought out. But it turns out her family thought she hung around me all the time because I did something inappropriate to her, or something."
"I think they were mostly just questioning my motives for playing with her and talking to her."
"They once asked me if I gave her candy and whenever she came over to me someone would stand there awkwardly, watching me out of the corner of their eye. In a way I don't blame them. I'm a pretty big guy, and it might be hard to believe I would never hurt anything or anyone."
"But finding out that people thought I was creepy because an adorable little girl wanted to be my friend, which I honestly had no control over was a major hit to my self esteem." - Im_Just_Cake
Fatherhood Is FabulousFathers Day Dad GIF by America's Funniest Home Videos Giphy
"I'm a stay at home dad. I don't know how to put it simply, or what the right term is, but I have been semi-frequently harassed, berated, and otherwise made to look foolish or feel ashamed because I'm a man who loves his babies."
"Out at the park with my son? 'Poor guy has to be with his kids while the missus is at home. She must have him whipped.' "
"At the grocery store with the baby? 'Oh you're so sweet doing this for your wife.' "
"At the doctor doing checkups/shots? I'll have to deal with random people saying I either don't know what I'm talking about, that I just think my son is special, that I cant be trusted to give info on their health because I'm not their mom, and that I 'need to tell my wife...' "
"Those aren't bad, it's just obnoxious."
"The part that really sucks is that my friends make fun of me for it, or when an argument happen they throw it in my face that I don't have a job and therefore am not a real man."
"Just the status quo that a man must work to death and a woman is the only one fit to stay home grinds my gears."
"I know how to change a diaper. Yes, I'm happy. Yes, it was MY choice to stay home."
"No, I don't mind not getting to f*ck off with my friends all the time. Yes, I know how to deal with children's medical issues."
"And no, I wouldn't trade it for the world." - D3athraxys
Size Matterstwin peaks head shake GIF by Twin Peaks on Showtime Giphy
"I'm 6'3" and I have a problem with feeling imposing even though I'm just trying to exist."
"I'm very awkward because of it, because I not only watch every word that comes out of my mouth, but I'm also very aware of how tall I am & that some people, usually women, might be more guarded towards me if they don't know me."
"The biggest issue is where I work."
"I work in retail and there's a lot of underage 17 year old kids working there. I usually don't talk with them for too long because I'm afraid I'll seem creepy to them, or to people who might be pricking up their ears to make sure I'm not trying to make a move on them or something like that."
"And I hope I don't come across like my problems are bigger than other people's. But these are definitely problems I face on a day to day basis." - Im_Just_A_Cake
The Most Unexplained Events In History | George Takei’s Oh MyyyHistory is littered with unsolved mysteries. Whether those answers are buried somewhere or lost forever, it doesn't stop people from wondering or hypothesizi...
"One of my best friends has talked to me about this issue. He is a big guy (6'5") with a beard. He definitely has a presence."
"Even though he is amazing with kids he avoids them because he tries so hard to avoid a sense of impropriety. It's very sad to me that he misses out on the joy kids can bring because of societal expectations and biases."
"Similarly if a woman is walking alone at night he will go out of his way to walk on the other side of the street or farther away from her so she doesn't feel threatened."
"These discussions with him gave me a lot of perspective. As a woman I have not really worried about my presence being intimidating or threatening to others, so hearing how hard he tries to make others comfortable made me kind of sad." - deej394
"Came here to post this. I'm 6'4 250lbs and tend to walk to the gym at night in the city."
"The shortest route is a side street which is basically an alley at some parts. I tend to walk somewhat quickly and I always somehow end up behind a younger woman."
"Undoubtedly I scare them as I try to walk quickly past to avoid being any more looming as a dangerous person as I might look. I always feel guilty like I'm doing something wrong when I'm just trying to walk. I didn't ask to be this big haha" - Rybobo
Pumpkin AbductionTired Good Night GIF Giphy
"I live in Rhode Island. At our zoo we have a pumpkin festival in October. The tickets are expensive but it's fun and they have pumpkin beer."
"Anyway I bought two tickets for me and a friend to go. That day he was sick and canceled. I ended up taking my nearly two-year-old daughter."
"We had a good time. When I was going home I realized that it was nearly 8:00 pm and we hadn't eaten dinner, so we stopped into a local restaurant."
"My daughter was well behaved. We ate dinner and left. She was a little testy as we got to the car but nothing unusual in any way."
"We go home and my daughter goes to sleep."
"About a half an hour later, a cop shows up. He said someone from the restaurant called the police thinking I abducted her."
"They said she seemed 'too quiet' when we were eating. It was 8:30 when we ate and her bedtime is normally 8:00 so yeah she was probably a little sedate."
"Anyway, we wake up our daughter and she's clearly in no danger. The cop apologized and left. To be fair to the cop, I think he thought the whole thing was ridiculous from the start but had to do his job."
"But this would have NEVER would have happened if my wife would have brought my daughter and not me! I was basically accused of being a child trafficker because my daughter was a little sleepy." - Geri-psychiatrist-RI
Compliments, Pleaseolivia culpo adam GIF Giphy
"Never received a compliment in my life expect the time a girl told me she liked my boots in 8th grade."
"Thanks Maddie I appreciate it still" - Aviator122
"I sometimes hate how much I crave compliments." - tpaolicchi
"I'm 38 and the last time someone complimented on my looks or appearance was when I was 30 at my old job when a woman said my glasses and hat combo really suited me." - Fkyourslipper
"It's super rare, for sure."
"A woman at the bus stop once told me my sweater looked nice and I instinctually asked 'Excuse me?' thinking I misheard, 'cause there's no way a woman just complimented me...'cause that never happens."
"It was super nice, made my day. Ladies: compliment men too, please." - putinmy@ss
Support Systems?Jimmy Fallon No GIF by The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon Giphy
"There's no support for men. Try to file for food stamps as a single man, or see how the courts treat you if you get a divorce, or talk about needing therapy."
"You get the same advice every time: 'go work out, throw yourself into your work, get a hobby.' "
"One of the most destructive, most infuriating thing people can say is, 'Man Up.' "
"Well, I'm not a stoic piece of driftwood, I'm human. I have feelings and basic needs just like anyone else - and its literally deadly to hold that sh*t in."
"Yeah, our fathers and their fathers held their feelings in, but they also dropped dead in their 40s and 50s of massive heart attacks." - GhostOnToast
Creepy At A Kid's MovieBill Hader Popcorn GIF by Saturday Night Live Giphy
"Per my dad who loves animation:"
"Now that my kids are grown, I have to wait a few weeks when a movie comes out so I can see it and not be the creepy solo older man at a kids movie." - M0ck_duck
"I went to see 'The Secret of Nimh' a few years ago back when the Alamo Drafthouse would show kids movies on Saturday mornings."
"I bought a soda, some popcorn and settled in."
"About 30 minutes in I realized an employee was standing directly behind me (I was in the back row.) He didn't move until the movie was over." - cbpantskiller
ResponsibilityTired Tv Land GIF by TV Land Classic Giphy
"Kind of a love/hate thing, but being responsible - for the wife, the kids, the house, cars, everything."
"At the end of the day, when something goes wrong or everyone is scared, everyone looks down the table to me and says 'What are we gonna do?' "
"Goes with the role of being the 'man of the house,' but it does wear me out." - Opposite-Algae8912
No One Told My HeartSad Sterling K Brown GIF by This Is Us Giphy
"For me, it was when my wife and I lost 4 children during late term pregnancy in just 5 years. It was loss after loss after loss."
"Everyone always asked me how my wife was doing and told me how sorry they felt for her. Not once did anyone ask or care about how I was doing."
"I put my wife first always, but it would have been nice for someone to care about how I was doing. I felt like nobody did; even my mother said guys don't get attached till the child is born."
"I guess no one told my heart that rule." - Successful_Panic7184
Thanks, HomerHomer Simpson Reaction GIF Giphy
"Dumb Husband Syndrome."
"Thanks to Homer Simpson, Phil Dunphy, Al Bundy, etc., the entire world seems to believe that your standard husband is too stupid to accomplish even the most mundane task on his own."
"I've seen a lot of guys (myself included) just going about their business and people feel compelled to step in and correct them or tell them how to do something." - SeaTie
Now that you've read what Reddit has to say, what are your thoughts on some of the tougher aspects of being a man?
Let me be real for a second.
Every time I listen to Bjork's "Unravel," my heart breaks a bit.
Have you ever listened to it?
It's on Homogenic, her third studio album, and it's incredible, passionate, smartly produced and a great showcase for her stupendous voice.
That song? An emotional rollercoaster, for sure.
There's tons of great music out there, though, and even more sad and gorgeous songs to discover.
People shared their thoughts after Redditor humanbear07 asked the online community:
"What song genuinely breaks your heart everytime you hear it?"
"Ann Wilson has such an amazing voice..."
"There's a few, but the isolated vocal track for Heart's 'Alone' is especially heartbreaking to me. Ann Wilson has such an amazing voice and her emotion really made that band."
Doesn't grow old.
There have been quite a few excellent covers of this one over the years, too.
"The first words give me chills..."
"Most songs by the late Jeff Buckley are sad on their own, and even more devastating in context. But the one that hits me the hardest is his cover of 'I Know It's Over' by the Smiths."
"The subject of the song is up for interpretation no matter what, but Jeff Buckley's premature death adds an element to it that seems to be about his life, whether he planned to or not."
"The first words give me chills the most— they happen after the classic reverby Jeff Buckley intro, the kind Hallelujah fans will be familiar with. He takes his time with this one, like he does with that."
No love for "Lilac Wine"?
It's clearly the best track.
"Ever since my husband..."
"'Merry Christmas, Darling' by the Carpenters. Ever since my husband Tom died in 2012, my heart breaks every Christmas since. We loved Christmas."
Karen Carpenter's voice hits differently when you realize how tortured her life was.
Gone too young.
"My Dad told me..."
"In My Life by The Beatles. My Dad told me when I was a teenager that he wanted it played at his funeral. I still can't listen, and when that day comes and I HAVE TO listen to it to honor his wish, I'm going to be a blubbering mess."
Sounds like you have an excellent relationship with your dad.
"My grandmother died..."
"He Stopped Loving Her Today, by George Jones. My grandmother died almost 20 years before my grandfather, and we played it at his funeral. Just typing this chokes me up a bit."
Songs have even more meaning (sometimes painfully so) when linked to specific moments in our lives, particularly the moments when we've lost people we care about.
"I'm not a Christian..."
"'Bridge Over Troubled Water' by Simon & Garfunkel. Not a Christian, but when I hear it, I understand why people believe."
A beautiful song, and timeless, too.
"My sister's husband..."
"Always on my Mind by Willie Nelson. My sisters husband chose to have it played at her funeral. And yes he was a crappy husband and she died young in a car accident."
Sounds like art imitating life, no?
"He's an amazing songwriter..."
"Jason Isbell has so many it's honestly hard to choose one. Speed Trap Town, Decoration Day, Cover Me Up. He's an amazing songwriter."
I don't know him–it's time to look him up and see how I feel.
"I can already feel tears..."
"One More Light by Linkin Park. I can already feel tears coming to my eyes just by typing this."
Chester Bennington's death was such a shock.
His music lives on.
"My brothers passed away..."
"Simple Man - Lynyrd Skynyrd."
"My brothers passed away in a car accident shortly after coming home from Afghanistan. Reminds me of them every time I hear it."
Sorry for your loss.
Hopefully hearing the song brings you peace.
Hearing a beautiful song can be an immensely moving experience.
And hearing a sad song can, for many people, help them cope with the pain of heartbreak better than they would have otherwise.
Have some suggestions of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again.
Unfortunately, a friendship could really end at any point in life.
Friends grow apart, but also, sometimes, it's just necessary to say goodbye to your relationship with a friend.
Maybe they aren't the right type of friend for you anymore, or maybe something has happened in their lives to make them self-destructive and toxic.
The reasons are many, and they are all sad.
Redditor monarchmondays asked:
"People who have unfriended their childhood friend/best friend, what happened?"
Here were some of those answers.
Bad Looking Out
"I was more-so the one who was unfriended. Was going to be the best man in his wedding. Saw his fiance out with another dude. Like on this dude."
"Told him, he told me I was wrong, Yada Yada. Things got heated. I told him I couldn't be his best man. Some years down the road, he caught her cheating."
"Called me up, asked if I wanted to grab a beer. I went. He apologized. I accepted, but we're still not friends."-TheMotorcycleMan
Friends Don't Control Friends
"He was a pathological liar, manipulative and told all of my most trusted secrets to everyone because he wanted to feel powerful and like he controlled me."
"Haven't spoken a word in 5 years and I have never looked back."-TheDandy9
Sometimes Life Is The Only Thing In The Way
"As soon as I left my hometown and my best friend growing up stayed, we both changed in opposite directions. He assimilated to the local lifestyle, quickly became friends with people he never got along with in school."
"I left, made new friends, found new things I liked. He started a family, I started a career."
"The final straw though was he RSVP'd to our wedding and then just didn't show. No text, no call, no anything. I think he was pissed that I didn't make him my best man after I was his best man, even though it was exactly because he wasn't reliable and made everything about himself that I couldn't do it."
"He caused sh*t at other people's weddings and I just didn't want to deal with what I knew would be inevitable. It did highlight though that growing up I was his best friend as a matter of convenience where I genuinely liked hanging out with him."-porscheblack
It's never fun or happy to lose a friend, but sometimes it's necessary for your healing process.
We've Reached The Point Of No Return
"I haven't unfriended her YET but I'm basically at the point where I'm sick of her drama, pettiness and 'main character syndrome.'"
"Anything that doesn't go her way is taken personally and if you disagree with her (or even have a preference that differs from hers) she will berate you into submission and 'agreement.'"
"And heaven forbid you have a life that doesn't consider her wants and desires. We're both 30, almost 31. I'm too old for that sh*t."-Deezus1229
When The Punches Come, I Go
"I met my ex-best mate in school, he had a little narcissistic personality, but I understood that and ignored his faults."
"In late Teens, we started drinking and partying as most do; this is when it became apparent that he had alcohol problems, forever being violent looking for fights, killing my good vibes, and getting me pulled into unwanted situations where I saved him or stopped him from beating on someone for no good reason."
"Throughout our life, he never attempted to fight me. He remained a pretty good friend to me until our first trip overseas to Asia; during our trip, he tried to coward punch me in the back of the head because I asked him to put out his cigarette that he had just lit."
"I asked him because we were seated in a restaurant surrounded by families, for some reason that angered him, I got up to leave and luckily heard him coming and avoided his punch, but he then tried to attack me further, which ended with us both on the ground and me on top of him while he shouted and went crazy."
"Eventually, police arrived and pointed a gun at both of us; luckily, they didn't shoot. Having foreign police aiming at me because my friend wouldn't calm down was one of the most scary moments in my life and that's saying something because I don't come from a easy upbringing."
"He was drunk, of course, and claims he doesn't remember, but there's no excuse to try and coward punch anyone, especially your best mate."
"I packed my bags that night and left our joint holiday plans in the dirt, traveling solo and having a blast. When I got back from my trip, I quit drinking myself and have remained sober for the last five years."
"Throughout that five years, I've had brief encounters with him, but our friendship was never the same. Unfortunately, my old friend never changed as he aged; he eventually went to jail."
"I work in hospitals and have seen him show up to the emergency triage, bashed with broken bones, and just a few months ago, he randomly knocked at my door where my wife answered, he was covered in blood."
"My wife went and woke me up; he had a stab wound and refused to go to the hospital; I drove him home and haven't seen or spoken to him since.. His brother updated me and said he was fine, whatever that means."-King-Callous
When He's A Predator
"I, a 5th grader at the time, knew this chick who was in the 7th grade dating a junior in hs. The dude thought she was 16 because she was lying about her age."
"They had been f**king and sexting and all that jazz...he didn't know she was a minor. I went and told him, and they broke up, and he was pissed... yada, yada yada..."
"They became friends again after a few years. When I was in the 8th grade, she called just so he could flirt with me 🤮. I was 13 then, and he was probably around 20. I blocked her real quick."-Cancerous0713
The End Of An Era
"Inseparable all through jr and HS. We graduated in 85 so no social media but I still feel ghosted. He stopped returning my calls, I always had to initiate and when we did get together he wasn't that interested."
"I gave it a few tries but I got the message and just stopped contacting him and he never reach out to me after that. I never new why and it took almost 10 years for me to get over it and stop thinking about it every day."
"I kind of wish he would have just told me he doesn't like me anymore. I have a current best friend I met in college and we've been friends for 30+ years so it's all good."-DreamArcher
There is never a right time to say goodbye to someone you once considered a trusted friend.
"My best friends young son was killed in a four wheeler accident. I was the first responding paramedic. I had to take him from my friends arms to work on him. Knowing he was dead the all along."
"We flex the child on Lifeflight then I drove my best friend and his wife to the hospital. I knew all along he was dead but they didn't. It wasn't his fault or mine that he died in any way but I could never look my best friend in the eye again."
"All I could see was his pain. So we drifted apart. I finally got to tell him and his wife before my friend died with heart trouble."-hotandhornyinbama
Secret Mental Health Leeches
"She started being nasty to my husband when we got engaged. It was so gross. She was snarky and rude to him every time he spoke and made him feel unwelcome in our own home."
"I kind of fell out of friend love with her after watching her behave like that. My mom thinks it was jealousy or something, idk. My husband is the most fun and caring person I've ever known, I expected her to be happy for me."
"In retrospect, I realized there were a lot of other red flag issues I had been ignorant of. It's been 3 years now and I am so much mentally healthier without the drama she was churning up."-ThunderHeavyRains
When Mom Damaged Her
"Had a friend I met pre-kindergarten but had a falling out in middle school. Families knew each other and we were like sisters. But sadly, her mom was a true definition of a Tiger mom. Her mom always pushed my friend to be in all of these extracurricular activities, music lessons, tutoring, etc. Her mom was always dissatisfied; nothing was good enough."
"She wasn't the most nurturing parent. But my parents were the opposite. Especially my mom, she just wanted me to be a good person and do my best. But naturally I was a very good student."
"So my friend's mom would always compare my friend to me saying I was better than her because I was naturally gifted and didn't NEED all of that help. My friend began to resent me."
"Throughout puberty, she would call me a slut because I was physically developing, tried to imply I was ugly just to see my reaction, threatened to punch me, things I understood where they were coming from but did not think were justified as I had not done anything directly to her."
"Final straw was when she posted on Facebook that she thought I was ugly so I just cut her off completely. I pitied her for her family life but her bitterness toward me was wrong. Because through my eyes, she was my best friend and all she wanted to do was hurt me. Don't regret cutting it off"-dookieconductor
The sad truth is that people are not always meant to be close, and that some people are too mentally unhealthy to have any kind of closeness in their lives.
Until they grow up, there is not much we can do but sadly step aside and take care of ourselves.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
Certain personalities show up at almost every party like clockwork.
There's always that person who get's too drunk, someone awkwardly standing in the corner nursing a drink, the person who's not having a good time no matter what and the person babysitting the crowd they came with.
When there's alcohol—or any other substances—and the pressure of a social situation, all sorts of quirks will come out. We wanted to know what people thought their country would act like if they were a person attending a party.
Redditor amotyvukufyd asked:
"All the countries of the world are at a party. What is your country doing?"
Here are some of the best and most hilarious answers.
The United Kingdom is just leaving.
"Not before slapping the knees and saying 'right.'"
"Northern Ireland looks nervously at her sister before putting her sunglasses on and following."
"As an American from the Midwest, we do a 'welp' knee slap. Then sit/stand for another 25 minutes before leaving."
"Then talk in the porch. Then talk in the doorway. Then talk in the driveway. Then talk out the car window."
"'Yuh, I guess.'"
"'See you around, I suppose.'"
"'Yuh you bet.'"
"Buzz of the window rolling up."
Argentina is in the backyard.
"Argentina is either playing football in the backyard with Brazil or aggressively telling whoever's at the grill how to cook a steak."
"Don't forget, they're also drinking fernet and coke, or even cheap wine and juice, out of a cut off bottle even though there were enough glasses for everyone."
"While listening to El Potro Rodrigo."
"For sure we're arguing with Texans over asado."
"Texas would also totally be there despite not being a country itself."
"Texas showing up to a party where only entire nations are invited is such a Texas thing to do."
Greece is making questionable choices.
"I'm Greek so I guess a lot of sex, wine and questionable financial decisions that will ruin us the morning after."
"At least you have your club of friends who will drive you home when you pass out. My country, Argentina, will spend the night borrowing money. When they finally kick him out, he'll have to walk home, broke and alone. And it will start to rain."
Poland fighting with Russia, Belarus, and Ukraine.
"Poland. In the corner with Russia, Belarus and Ukraine, drinking vodka and fighting each other. Poland fighting Belarus and Ukraine fighting Russia."
"With some EU guys walking by with fancy drinks, dropping some concerns."
"And then Russia says 'Oh, you want some too?' And the EU guys turn and walk away."
"Then hours later writes a strongly worded comment to Russia's Facebook page. After spending 8 hours arguing over the exact wording."
Germany brings the beer.
"I'm German and I'd say Germany would complain about the taste of the beer."
"Germany should be bringing the beer. Please don't leave it to America who will bring some watery Coors Light!"
"Wouldn't they discuss politics too?"
"We so would! I was thinking about what we would do what wasn't absolutely cliché (like bringing the beer). I feel we would not only discuss politics but also rant about it. And other stuff. I feel ranting is really something we like to do. But also Germany would be drinking way too much and be completely fine the next morning..."
India is awkwardly dancing.
"India/that uncle dancing inappropriately in the middle of the dance floor."
"Not gonna lie, they got da best moves though."
"I was gonna say India would be that aunty gossiping about and judging others' outfits/looks, but this one is better."
The USA is just destroying things for fun.
"USA. Chugging beers and trying to smash a foldable table by jumping on it."
"I think the US would be like a really obnoxious frat dude that's also kinda fun. Like waaaay over the top bragging... but also did bring the weed. Then word gets around that he has a gun on him and it makes everyone uncomfortable, but he says it's just cause Russia and China are packing too."
"I figure we'd also be the one who obnoxiously insists on 'defending' every girl in the party- whether the girl wants it or not. Lots of 'do you wanna go?' energy, then trying to clean up any mess we make but just doing the absolute worst job of it while staying way, waaay too long after the party is over."
"We'd also get mad at China for stealing our famous brownie recipe even though we asked them to make it for us."
We aren't sure we want to be invited to that party.
Sounds like there's gonna be a lot of drama.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again.
Irrespective of men's sexual identity or preference, there are men who hate sports, and there are men who love musical theater. Do participating in either activity make men straight or gay?
"Straight men of Reddit, what is the strangest thing you have been told not to do because 'that's gay?'"
The following behavior just screams, "gay," fellas. Watch out.
"Sing a Lily Allen song during karaoke."
"Advice I received in high school from other students:" "Don't cross your legs with one knee over the other. Put one ankle over the other knee." "When carrying books, palm them and carry them at your side. Don't rest one edge of the books near your waist." "Never button the top button of your shirt."
Look, But Don't Look
"This one time, at summer camp, this guy who'd just been swimming in the lake told me you could tell how cold the water was by how hard his nipples were. 'But don't stare too long,' he said, 'because that's gay.'"
"You were the one who told me to look in the first place!"
Sandwich For Sissies
"When I was a kid, my dad called me a sissy because I cut a sandwich diagonally."
"I played the clarinet. I got called Faginet a lot."
"But that's one women do," one might argue.
"Changing my daughter's diaper. Mentioned it in the office one day. Called gay."
A Lighter Shade
"Buying a white IPhone."
"Added my husband (then boyfriend) to my phone plan. Went to the store on my own to upgrade both our phones. We both just wanted the next gen Samsung. It was only available in purplish-pink in store."
"I shrugged and said it didn't matter, he's putting a case on it anyways. Guys working at the store kept trying to talk me out of it, actively pushing me to go to another store, making them lose commission, just so my partner wouldn't have a feminine phone. He used his pink phone for 3 years."
"I've been criticized for knowing how to sew and cook. Those are essential life skills!"
"My father was a Marine drill instructor in the 50's. Guess who did all the sewing in my house growing up?"
"Yeah, no one dared to call him gay for it."
Here are examples of guidelines for being a manly man, according to manly men.
"Not a straight man but... back in my bartending days I asked a man if he wanted to see a dessert menu. He said 'if I wanted dessert I'd order wings like a real man.'"
"Weird flex but okay."
When I'm In The Mood, I Masticate
"When I'm feeling extra manly, I just take a bite out of a cow and then chew on some raw wheat."
"Like a man."
No Appointments Necessary For Straight Men
"I left a pick-up basketball game because I had an appointment to get a haircut. Evidently, the only straight way to get a haircut is as a walk in."
Abiding By The Law Is So Gay
"Using turn signals. And not as some sort of euphemism, but literally using them while driving to turn or change lanes."
In grade school, some fellow classmates asked me to check for gum on my shoe because they saw me step in some.
When I lifted my leg to take a gander, the boys were howling hysterically as if my actions confirmed something.
Well, it sure did. Apparently, if I l looked at the bottom of my shoe from in front of me, I was "normal," but since I bent my leg back and looked at the bottom of my shoe from behind, that made me "so gay."
Although, I didn't come out 'til years later, maybe those goons were onto something. Thanks for the heads up, guys.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.