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Dating Experts Share Tips For Avoiding Common Pitfalls Early In A Relationship

Dating Experts Share Tips For Avoiding Common Pitfalls Early In A Relationship

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Every relationship teaches us a lesson - even if that lesson is that you suck at picking people to be in a relationship with. Ideally, we'd take these lessons with us as we move on into new ones. But if you guys are anything like me you've probably forgotten to do that a time or two.

No worries! One Reddit user asked:

What common mistakes do people make early on in a relationship that causes issues further down the line?

And yeah we're pretty much going to print these all out and tape them around our crib for reminders.

Find Your Happy

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Don't be with someone that makes you unhappy. Good friend of mine got out of a 15 year relationship (10 years of it being marriage) at 51. 3 years later he gathered new hobbies, opened himself up to more social events, made more friends, got a better job, and is very happy with a lady for a year now. We have one shot on life, don't trudge along with someone.

No Acting

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It is really important to be yourself, otherwise you'll be acting your whole life whenever you're near your partner.

There's a difference between improving yourself and living a lie, though. I feel like a healthy relationship is one where you do improve yourself. But only because you want to and the person you're with is someone that you can learn from and that can help you achieve those goals. I want to be a better person for my girlfriend because I respect her and want her to have the best possible me that I can be. And she feels the same way toward me. But we've always been ourselves with each other.

Communicate

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Not talking about things. Don't hold that sh!t in - the one you can be open and honest with (that doesn't run) is the one for you.

This would be my #1 piece of advice.

Nobody breaks up over dirty dishes, or shoes laying around the house, or overspending. These are all stress moments that have been building momentum over the course of weeks or years. When you decide to avoid talking about things that hurt you or made you feel unloved or disrespected, you're building a bomb. It will explode one day and it will be terrible.

Commit to being respectfully honest with each other from the start. Learn how to hear uncomfortable things without getting defensive. Listen to each other. You'll build great habits and soon all the uncomfortable moments will be quick and easy, relatively speaking.

Dealbreakers

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Lying about dealbreakers early on because they want the relationship to work and hope the other party will change their mind.

For example:

  • S/He says they do not want children, or that they absolutely want 3+ kids. You disagree but hope to change their mind.
  • S/He says they are deeply ir/religious and intend to live a lifestyle consistent with that, including with the rearing of their children in accordance with said religion/lack of religion. You do not share these beliefs and think they will or can be swayed to eventually chill out and tone it down a bit.
  • S/He was raised in a manner that women are the house keepers and stay-at home caretaker/wives/mothers, meanwhile you are more modern and expect a more equal household both in chores and providing income for the household.
  • S/He is deeply dedicated to their job or a goal (like traveling the world) and wants you to do these things with them when you would rather stay settled down and not (or vice versus).

You should not lie about who you are, what's important to you, or your life goals and ambitions, nor should you expect that your partner will change those same things about themselves. If you do and you compromise on those things or expect them to compromise on those things at best you might find yourselves resentful of each other, or worse, getting a divorce after years of dating and marriage over something that cannot be compromised (e.g. children).

Outside Sources

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Discuss their relationship problems with others rather than with each other.

There's nothing wrong with sharing your problems or venting. Sometimes it's great to get a different perspective but if you're looking to save the relationship always go back to discussing things with your partner instead.

If you think he/she isn't good enough for you just end it don't ask for anyone's approval, end it mutually on a good note and wish your partner good luck.

The Pedestal

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Infatuation. I actually struggle with this, and it's a pain to manage. Basically putting that person on a pedestal will lead to really bad things overtime. It sets oneself up for manipulation, disappointment, and unhappiness.

If you put your partner on a pedestal, you are forcing them to look down on you.

Don't Ignore The Facts

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When we first met I ignored the fact that she was super family oriented and wanted a simple life and for me to work a 9-5 and to move to her hometown.

She ignored that I wanted to keep working as a traveling musician and other artistic gigs. Which put me on the road away from her 1-2 weeks once a month or sometimes more. I was also a part-time bartender only because it paid so well.

She told me what she wanted, I told her what I wanted, and then we pretty much ignored, blamed and resented each other for not compromising enough. Distance grew, hostilities, fighting, frustration, confusion. We went over a year without any intimacy. Affairs happened. When we tried to reconcile she said she changed from the person she was when we met and wanted me to change, too.

It was clear we had basically gotten married and immediately began moving in different directions. We really thought love was enough and that would solve all our problems. It doesn't work like that. We were naive as hell. I'm 35, she's 29. We should've plotted out what we wanted in life and made 100% sure the other was on board, and if not, we should've separated.

But, now we have a beautiful child. I'm even at her house right now and our divorce was finalized just last week. Still very close, just need different things the other can't offer. It is sad, for our child. But we're committed parents. It's just always better to communicate exactly what you want your life to look like, and agree on it.

Idealization And Reality

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So this is going to be purely from personal experince but it is something I am working on with my therapist as it has been something ive done in two of my relationships that ended up hurting me in the end.

There needs to be a difference and a defining line of your idealization of the relationship or person in question, and the reality of it. Let me explain.

I see this girl and ive been trying to date her for seven years. Over the course of that time, even though I got romantically involved with other people, I created this idea of her in my head that she is beyond reproach and just a perfect fit. When we finally get together, I go overboard with her and we get too serious too fast. Of course getting so many emotions off of someone is heavy, and when she needs some "me time" I start freaking out thinking I've done something to royally f*** up and start having negative thoughts about myself. I put her on a pedestal and now I think im not worthy of being with her and get insecure. This all leads to a negative and dark trail of thoughts and you end up destroying the relationship before the good part even began and you just re-affirm yourself that you weren't "good enough" for her in the first place. Rinse repeat.

Just be proud of who you are, be calm and loving and realize that someone chose to be with you because of who you are. Let things happen organically and don't dwell too much in fantasies.

Your Obligation To Tell

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Relationships are all about compromise, so what if there is something that you will never ever under any circumstance compromise on? Then you have tell the other person. They need to know! I don't care if it's business, personal, or romantic. Please for the love of god, tell your partner before anyone gets invested.

I tried to make a relationship work once after a girl cheated on me. Shocking, but it didn't work out. After that I decided, I'd never do that again. It's something I can't work through no matter the reason. So before I got involved with my very serious girlfriend now, I said "I'm a pretty laid back guy, I can compromise on just about everything, but if you cheat on me. this relationship is over. There is no discussion. There is no working it out. There is also no argument. I don't care the reason, I don't care who. I'm not leaving upset, I'm just leaving."

People think "Well it was just one stupid thing, I'm sure we can work through it!" And that's when relationships go past the point they should not. When one party violates the others personal code, but the offended party didn't voice it before hand, so how could they have known?!

Save yourself from wasting your time. When someone tells you, "I'll marry you, but I'll never want kids" or the opposite "I'll have kids with you, but I don't believe in marriage" you need to listen! and you need to ask yourself, "Am I okay with never having that? or never doing that?" If you're not then you need to leave.

So think long and hard about what you can compromise on and what you can not. I don't care what it is! It could be anything! And when you've thought about what you will never compromise on, then you have an obligation to tell your partner before you enter a serious relationship.

Don't Fake It

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Faking orgasms. SERIOUSLY. If you start doing this early on and your partner thinks exactly what they're doing is satisfying you, how can you expect them to ever get it right

Make Your Own Rules

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It all depends on the couple. My wife and I had sex on our first date, moved in together after dating for 3 months, then didn't get married until we were together for 9 years.

The best thing you can do is be open and honest with each other, and always be yourself, so don't do the opposite of those things I guess.

Why Lie?

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Lie.

Lie to themselves about the relationship. Lie to person they are in a relationship with. Lie about what they want in a relationship.

Always be honest in a relationship. Always make it clear what you want, what you don't want and what is a deal breaker. You will save yourself and the other person a lot of time.

Annoying Quirk

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That tiny, insignificant, slightly annoying quirk about them that you don't feel justified in pointing out because everything else is perfect?

Yeah, that's going to be the cause for screaming matches down the road. Point it out now and come to some resolution, even if your resolution with your partner is to just deal with it. Save yourself some heartache and say something now.

That doesn't mean you just throw the relationship away. If this person that I love were to die suddenly, would I think about the silly things they did with fondness and nostalgia, or not? SO leaves empty cups everywhere, like that kid in Signs. It drives me bananas. But if something happened to him, I know I'd see a tidy nightstand by my bed and remember a time when it would have been crowded with cups and be so sad. Take it or leave it.

The take it pile is usually bigger than you imagine.

You Need More Than Physical

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Ignoring things because of physical attraction or good sex. Both of those things will diminish with time and then you'll be left dealing with cons with no pros. Go for a well rounded relationship.

Take Care

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Immediately starting to take care of their SO. If this is how you show affection, great! But make sure they appreciate it and they aren't just getting comfortable doing less.

Red Flags

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Not getting out of the relationship when you notice a red flag really early. Lots of relationships end because of red flags you noticed on the first date. "You know, it's funny; when you look at someone through rose-colored glasses, all the red flags just look like flags."

Early, Often, Always

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Communicate everything, early, often, always. It's the only way to know you're compatibility. Lack of talking is what killed my marriage to my best friend. Plus, if you have issues, work on them. Don't just let your mess sit there unattended, go to therapy.

Keep Your Friends

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Not keeping up friendships and relationships with people other than your significant other. You can't be solely dependent on one person to be your social and emotional support. You need to maintain friendships, interests, and activities outside of your relationship. Finding the balance might be tough, but it's crucial. You don't want to break up with someone you dated for 3 years and realize you don't have any close friends anymore because you spent the last 3 years ignoring requests to hang out and be social with them.

Be Real

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Years ago I had a situation where a close friend's boyfriend had feelings for me. I barely knew the guy and had never done anything to encourage his feelings, but it destroyed my friendship with his girlfriend.

When I eventually confronted him, he literally could not comprehend that I never had feelings for him. The problem wasn't the he idealized me, the problem was he didn't see me as a person with my own wants and needs. He had feelings for me, and wanted me to have feelings for him, so every interaction we had was tainted with his idea that those feelings existed. He wasn't being real about what the situation actually was.

It is okay to think someone is the cat's pajamas. To some extent, that is a natural part of being in love. It doesn't mean they look down on you or that you don't value yourself. What is a problem is shutting yourself off from reality and from actually knowing someone because you've already decided who/what they are.

You have to be able to honestly evaluate and RE-evaluate situations or you'll end up living in a whole made-up world and get really hurt when reality eventually kicks in.

The Break Up Threat

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Never use the threat of 'breaking up' as a weapon to achieve something.

Don't even joke about it.

Only bring up the notion if you're willing to lose the other person. Once that possibility is out in the open, its a bitch to get back in.

H/T: Reddit

Old Wives' Tales People Still Believe For Some Reason

"Reddit user the_spring_goddess asked: 'What is an old wives tale that people still believe?'"

Close up of an owl tilting their head to side, looking bewildered
Photo by Josh Mills

The old wives' tales.

They are the stories of legend.

I think we all need a big DEEP Google dive though.

Where did they originate?

WHO ARE THE OLD WIVES!

You don't hear about them as much anymore.

It's like science and logic are suddenly a thing.

But they sure are a good way to keep your kids and their behavior in line.

Redditor the_spring_goddess wanted to discuss the tall tales we've all been fed through life, so they asked:

"What is an old wives tale that people still believe?"

"Wait an hour to swim after eating."

What a crock!

So many summer hours wasted.

I want revenge for that one.

Say Nothing

Giphy

"An undercover cop has to tell you he's a cop if you ask him."

LonelyMail5115

"Pretty much most advice when it comes to cops are old wives tales. I’m not even a cop but most of the advice you hear is pretty off."

I_AM_AN_A**HOLE_AMA

Say Something

"That you have to wait 24 hours to report someone missing."

Severe_Airport1426

"I really think this one is important and should be the top regardless. As it’s a piece of advice that needs to be relearned and the only way to do that is through awareness."

crappycurtains

"This used to be true. I think they changed it after some guy named Brandon went missing back in the '80s or '70s. You used to have to wait 24 hours if the missing person was an adult because they had 'a right to be missing' and then everyone realized that was stupid and stopped doing it."

AlbinoShavedGorilla

Body Temps

"That drinking ice cold water after eating oily foods will solidify the oil and permanently remain in your body. I informed my coworker that if your body temperature ever reached that point, you’d have bigger problems than weight gain."

chriseo22

"Oh, I have a cousin who 100% believed this. One of those guys who believed every early 2000s internet rumor and old wives tale. One night I chugged a big glass of ice water after dinner and he started freaking out and saying my guts were gonna harden."

"I sarcastically told him to drive me to the hospital if that happened. Obviously, nothing happened and the next morning I said something like 'Thanks for being on standby in case my guts filled with hardened oil.' He just walked off muttering under his breath."

apocalypticradish

Arms Down

"When I was pregnant, I was told by young and old alike that I should NOT raise my arms above my head or exert myself in such a manner because it could cause cord strangulation to my unborn sons and daughters."

Fatmouse84

10 Years Actually

Unimpressed Uh Huh GIF by Brooklyn Nine-Nine Giphy

"Chewing gum stays in your stomach for 7 years."

REDDIT

"I remember accidentally swallowing a piece of gum when I was a kid in like 1995 and just accepting my fate like welp, gonna have this in my stomach til high school I guess."

Gecko-911

I was so afraid to sallow my gum when I was young.

This tale is haunting.

High/Low

Hungry Debra Messing GIF by Will & Grace Giphy

"You can tell the sex of the baby by how you carry."

LeastFormal9366

"Pregnancy certainly wins awards for the most old wives tales. So much absolute BS was repeated to us by everyone we talked to."

IllIIIlIllIlIIlIllI

The Cursed

"If you’re a woman and you wear opal jewelry but opal is not your birthstone (October), you’ll never be able to have children, or will be widowed, or just generally have bad luck or something. You can counteract this by having a diamond in the same piece of jewelry as the opal, though."

"I have a nice opal ring that my parents gave me years ago, and I’ve had other women give me this 'advice' unprompted more than once when I’ve worn it. I have absolutely no idea where it started, but I’m pretty sure this little chunk of silicate rock has no concept of what month I was born in, let alone of how my reproductive organs work."

SmoreOfBabylon

Stay In

"Going outside with wet hair will make you get pneumonia. Or an earache. Or maybe arthritis. Depends on which old wife you listen to."

"Jokes on them - I haven't blow-dried my hair in decades and usually leave the house with wet hair in the morning. On winter mornings, the tips of my hair get frozen. No ear infections or pneumonia or arthritis yet."

worldbound0514

Dreams and Facts

"You never make anyone up in your dreams you've seen everyone in your dreams somewhere else before and never make anyone up entirely."

"How would you possibly prove that to be true? My partner adamantly believes this and tells me this 'fact' whenever I have a dream about someone I've never met before."

mattshonestreddit

"My late wife used to tell me that before she met me she would have dreams of standing at an alter on her wedding day but could never see the guy's face, no matter how hard she tried. After meeting me the face was filled in with mine. Don't know if it's true but one of those things I like thinking of every now and then when I miss her."

Darthdemented

Cracked

Getting Ready Episode 2 GIF by The Office Giphy

"Some people still believe cracking knuckles causes arthritis."

Choice-Grapefruit-44

"There's a doctor (Donald Unger) that cracked his knuckles a couple of times a day for 60 years, but only on one hand, just to prove it. Both hands remained exactly the same."

MacyTmcterry

I love my knuckles.

Do you have any tall tales to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below.

lottery tickets
Erik Mclean on Unsplash

A lot of workers daydream about some day winning the lottery and being able to say goodbye to their job.

Far too many workers are unhappy with their job duties, workplace dynamics or company culture.

But with a taste for luxuries like housing and food, they keep plugging away, year after year.

However not everyone feels that way about their job.

So what are these compelling careers?

Keep reading... Show less
Aerial view of a church in a small town
Sander Weeteling/Unsplash

There's something comforting about living in a small town.

It's characterized by close communities where neighbors know each other by name and there is an abundance of kindness extended to others.

Gift-giving is a commonality, as is the sharing of recipes, and people going out of their way to help each other in a time of need.

The pace of living in small towns is also a striking contradiction to city life, where crowds of people go about their busy lives without much interaction.

Curious to hear more examples of what small town living is like, Redditor official_biz asked:

"What's the most 'small town' thing you've witnessed?"

These are positive examples of a tight-knit community.

Live Updates

"We have a village Facebook page. Every time the ice cream man drives into the village, the entire page goes ballistic. People send live updates of where the van is and which direction he's heading. The ice cream man has started accepting DMs so he knows which streets to go down."

– PyrrhuraMolinae

Brush With The Law

"I’m from a town of less than 2,000 people. When I worked at the grocery store there people would often drop off stuff for my family members because they didn’t want to drive all the way down to our house. I no longer live there but recently got a call from my daughter. She had been stopped for speeding and handed over her license and insurance which happens to be in my mother’s name. The officer goes 'Hey, you’re Donnie’s granddaughter! I ain’t gonna write you a ticket but I’m telling Donnie when I see him tomorrow cause we’re going fishing.' She replied 'I think I’d rather have the ticket.'”

- Reddit

Roadside Catchup

"The traffic on the 'main street' of my town is so sparse, two drivers going opposite directions can stop and talk to each other for a few minutes without causing any problem."

– anon

When things go wrong, people take notice without incident.

Bank Robbery

"A guy robbed a bank and everyone knew immediately who he was and the teller got mad at him."

– AlexRyang

"A local bank was robbed and one of the tellers told the police to bring her a yearbook from about ten years earlier and she would be able to point the robber out. He had been in the grade before hers in school."

– Strict_Condition_632

Wise Woman

"When I worked at the bank in town there was an older lady that had worked there through 5 mergers."

"She knew everyone, there was a young guy yelling at me one day. She walked out of the back and he immediately quieted. She went off about telling his grandmother that he was treating young women like sh*t. She also said that if he didn’t straighten up not one girl in town would ever marry him she would make sure of it."

– ilurvekittens

Intoxicated Local

"Town drunk was paralyzed and used a motorized wheelchair to get around. I was driving home one Saturday night and said town drunk was passed out in his wheelchair doing circles almost directly in the town square. Had to call his brother who came and picked him up on a rollback truck. Strapped him down and drove off into the cold dark night."

– DoodooExplosion

Grazing Over To The Bar

"In my former small town, there was an older guy who'd lost his license after getting a few DUIs. Every day, he would ride his John Deere lawnmower to the corner bar around 3PM and sit around watching TV and sipping his beer well into the night. Then he'd head the couple miles back home on his mower. He even had a little canvass shell he put on when it rained or got too cold."

– brown_pleated_slacks

It's not surprising how small town people behave differently than those who are from metropolitan areas.

Welcoming Committee

"I lived in a small town. When I moved there, people would ask, 'Whose house did you buy?'"

–MoonieNine

"Move to a small town. 30 years later, you are still the new guy."

– impiousdrifter

"I lived in a small town for most of my childhood but I wasn't "from there" because my grandparents weren't from there."

– raisinghellwithtrees

"Worked with an older guy, relative of the owner of the business, he was 73. I asked him if he was a local, he said 'no his parents moved here when he was two.'"

– realneil

A Busy Day

"Lived in a town of about 5,000: A woman walked into the DMV on a Friday, saw that there were 3 people ahead of her and left to come back another time when they weren't so busy."

– KenmoreToast

Who Let The Dogs Out?

"My dogs got out while i was working. the police called my niece's elementary school (she was a 5th grader) to get her to round them up and take them back home."

– mediocrelpn

"There was a small kennel behind the police station for runaways. They called us saying they had our dog, and moments later our dog showed up home. He broke out of jail."

– Worried_Place_917

While life in a small town sounds appealing, I don't know if I can ever live in one.

I'm so used to life in big cities, I think it would be quite unnerving to adjust in a neighborhood where everyone literally knows your business.

I would be paranoid.

And I'm sure the same could be said of life in the big city.

Would you consider making the switch to life in a different setting?

Two women laughing
Photo by Dave George on Unsplash

Every now and then, a friend of ours might say something, or we might overhear a complete stranger say something that makes us stop in our tracks.

More often than not, what we can't believe we just heard is something so ridiculous, we can't help but put the person who said it in their place.

Other times, however, what we just heard might have stunned us silent because of how shockingly clever it was.

Resulting in our not wanting to scold or yell at someone, but rather give them a handshake.

Redditor SubmergingOriginal was curious to hear the sharpest and wittiest things they've ever heard, from friends and strangers alike, leading them to ask:

"Enough with the dumbest; what is the wittiest thing you've ever heard someone say?"

Don't Give Me So Much Credit...

'I was on a team at work that was on a project working insane overtime."

"One night after an 80-90 hour week, we were all sitting around the table trying to finish up so we could go home."

"Around 11, my buddy's wife called, dubious about the hours he'd been keeping."

"We heard her through the line - 'are you cheating on me?'"

"Exasperated, he looked at our boss, then replied 'honey, if I was cheating on you, I would have been home by now'."- lionbatcher

Eternal Optimism...

"Asked a blind guy if he'd been blind his whole life."

"He said 'Not yet'."- Feeling_Mode_6465

Free time Isn't The Only Thing He Has On His Hands...

"My brother got a vasectomy and when the doctor was releasing him and giving him instructions (with the nurse listening in), one of the orders was to 'come back and have a follow-up appointment after you’ve ejaculated 30 times'.”

"Without missing a beat my brother asked 'what time do you open tomorrow?'”

"The nurse couldn’t keep it together after hearing that."- UtahUtopia

Awkward Season 8 GIF by The Office Giphy

Double Whammy!

"My pal uses the phrase 'he doesn’t look strong enough to carry information' and it cracks me up every time."

"Calling someone stupid and weak in one fell swoop."- JennyW93

Can't Hide Your DNA...

'Whenever I jokingly insult my mum, she says 'that must be where you get it from'."

"She cracked the code."

"I can never offend her without offending myself."- JennyW93

Self-Sufficient!

"My brother was a line cook at a New Orleans restaurant."

"My mom was in town, staying at a fancy hotel, and he stopped by after work, still wearing his kitchen whites."

"He was reading a newspaper in the lobby waiting for her to come down when the shocked lobby manager sputtered at him, 'MAY I HELP YOU!?!?'

"He answered, 'thanks, but I know how to read',” and went back to his paper."- jobrody

Morph Current Affairs GIF by Aardman Animations Giphy

A Miracle!

"My brother-in-law’s comment."

"The entire family went out for my mother’s 80th birthday and after the meal we all went to a local park, largely occupied by the elderly, to rest."

"My mother needed crutches at this point, and they were resting against her bench."

"My 10-year-old niece, who looked like every starving waif image from Dickens, grabbed the crutches and started hobbling round the park."

"All the OAPs were following her progress with looks of pity until my brother ran up behind her, and kicked away the crutches."

"There was an audible gasp from round the park and then my niece picked the crutches back up and started chasing my brother, clearly intending to hit him."

"In the confused silence my brother-in-law’s voice rang out 'Praise be! She can walk again!'"

"We still think this was the highlight of the birthday celebrations."- DdraigGwyn

Still Legal, Whichever Way You Cut It...

"I picked up my pleasantly tipsy boyfriend from a nightclub."

"We were stopped by the Police for a random breath test."

"They asked me my age, and I said, 33."

"My bf blurted out '33? You told me you were 22'."

"Police just laughed and let me go."- Aggravating-Corgi379

Music Video Police GIF by Andrew W. K. Giphy

A Bit Too On The Nose?

"Business law class in college years ago, talking about the issues that black Americans had before the Civil Rights."

"Amendment, trying to travel through the south with the discrimination so rampant, trying to find restaurants to serve them and decent lodgings."

"My instructor was posing a hypothetical: 'So you pull up out front of this place, you're exhausted from driving for hours, and you see the sign out front says 'Ku Klux Klan Motel'."

"'What would you expect to find there?'"

"Without missing a beat, from the back of the room came this gem: "'Extra sheets in every room?'"- NedsAtomicDB

Not Yet, Anyway...

"I was working with my friend and his dad."

"My friend (26) heard an ice cream truck near where we were working."

"He asked his dad if he could have a couple dollars."

"His dad asked, 'what for?'"

"My friend told his dad that there was an ice cream truck in the neighborhood, and that they were playing music."

"My friends dad told him "'They don't charge anything to listen to the music'."- tatersalad1234567890

Words Escape You In The Literal "Heat" Of The Moment...

"A friend of mine is a teacher and her husband is known for his wit."

"She told this story to him:"

"One day at school a kid took the hall pass and returned reeking like smoke."

"She asked the kid if he’d been smoking and he denied it over and over."

"She was about to send him to the office when she noticed smoke coming from somewhere."

"She told the kid and he realized that he didn’t put his cig out completely and it was burning in his pants pocket."

"The kid noticed and frantically tried to put it out and someone finally poured water on it."

"Her husband sat listening to this with a weird look on his face."

"She asked him what was wrong."

“'What’s wrong???'"

"'This was probably the only chance you’ll have in your life to say literally, ‘liar,liar, pants on fire’ and you missed your chance'."- Luder714

On Fire No GIF by PEEKASSO Giphy

Amazing What You Might Say A Few Drinks In...

"When I went to a renaissance faire once, I went to a beer tent and ordered a Newcastle Brown Ale (seemed the most fitting for the surroundings)."

"The beer wench, without skipping a beat, said, 'Everyone wants a Newcastle - no one wants to remodel!'"- jayhof52

Read The Room People!

"My dad wiped out when skiing down a mountain and lost a ski."

"After a few minutes of hunting for it, he gives up, slings the one remaining ski over a shoulder and starts walking down the mountain in his ski boots."

"About half-way down, another skier stops and goes 'Gee! Did you lose a ski?'"

"My dad instantly replied 'No, I was out for a walk and found one!'"- PeterJoAl

There's a reason your mother always told you to "use your words".

As clever remarks can have a much more lasting effect on people than a push or shove.