Kidnappers, neighborhood murders, robbers in the dark...
Yes, growing up in NYC was a load of fun.
But I'm not an anomaly.
All of these things are happening around us at any given moment.
It's why we turn back quickly when the wind picks up the leaves.
Is there something in the shadows?
Things are going to spook us and make a dark impact on our lives.
It's just a fact.
Redditor LBE wanted to hear about the times in life we've all been left with unease and shivers down the spine.
"What is the Creepiest or most Unexplained thing that’s happened to you that you still think about to this day?"
Noises. My creepiest enemy is simple noises. I've wasted hours hunting small noises that could be someone hiding. I'm always on guard.
Vanished...
"To this day, there was a kid in my class that no one else remembers. I distinctly remember playing with this kid in kindergarten, and we were pretty much inseparable. About a month past Christmas break he disappeared. No one remembered him."
"Not the teachers, or the others in my class. No one. I even asked the school counselor if he was okay, and she humored me by going through records to see if he’d transferred. She couldn’t find a thing. I think about it at least once a month."
CrippledUnironically
Deliverance
"Was delivering newspapers on my paper route when a longtime customer pulled his car next to me and asked me to just give him his daily newspaper now because he was going on a long trip. I handed him his newspaper then skipped his house as I continued my route."
"The next day I was collecting the weekly fees (you used to have to go collect the money back then, no internet payment yet) and I went to his house to collect my fee. His wife answers and promptly complains that I missed her house on my deliveries the day before."
"I explained to her that her husband pulled up next to me, I told her what he said and that I gave him the paper. She started crying, told me that he had died a couple weeks ago and it was obviously not possible that I spoke with her husband the day before."
"I know what I saw and nearly 30 years later I still think about that situation. I have no way to logically explain what happened and it still give me the creeps."
avionchef
All Black...
"I have a weird memory that's not mine; I'm a small boy with a suit and tie, I'm at a party in a huge ceremonial church or something and there's lots of men and women wearing fancy black clothes, they all get in a circle its the middle of the day light was brightly coming in through the windows and there are old-ish couple dancing in the middle of the circle with some very classy/fancy music."
"And I was trying to look at them through people's legs, suddenly the man falls, no gunshots no one did anything to him and then the second he falls everyone starts screaming, people were running away but the men were running towards him, I think I was trampled because I was lying on the floor and then everything goes black."
"That's all I can remember. This is a clear memory that has stuck with me since I can remember, I'm really creeped out because I know that memory isn't mine, I've never gone to a fancy party in a church when I was little and I don't know what happened to that man because I fell over."
waterbottleman8000
Spooked
"Driving home from work late one night I was followed and it was weird. I left the hospital and turned off the main road to a bunch of side streets I would take. At one point I noticed a car behind me that made the same left turn as me. They sped up to get behind me. I thought nothing of it. Then I briefly thought about running to 7-11 to grab some food and turned on my right signal."
"But I realized I had food at home, so I turned my signal off. The car behind me turned on their right signal and turned it off as well exactly as I had. At that point I got a bit spooked. So I turned my right signal on and they did as well. Instead at the next intersection I turned left even though my right signal was on. They did as well. They proceeded to follow me through a series of odd turns."
"Eventually I turned onto a cul-de-sac I knew about and figured I could turn around there and look at the driver to see who was following me. As I approached the end of the road they figured out what I was doing. They stopped and did a fast k-turn and sped off. It was weird. Still don’t know who it was."
BiologyJ
Bad Vibes
"This didn't exactly happen to me, but I got some backlash and bad vibes from it. My best friend and his mom were moving out of their house (they were the only ones living in the house) and he went to take one last selfie in his room. When he showed the picture to his mom, she goes 'Who is that?"
"Upon further inspection he notices there was a straight up white face almost like a mask looking over his shoulder from the attic hatch above his room. He always heard things from the attic but never saw anything. A few weeks later we went on a wrestling trip and stayed in a hotel. He showed the pic around to everyone in our room, and then some spooky things started happening."
"In our room we began hearing knocks on our door when nobody was there. We also saw flashes or glimpses of a figure in the mirror in our room. Everyone was a little freaked out about it and thought it could be the demon from the picture, and my friend who took it became so paranoid he played bible verses to ward any demons off all night. He said ever since he took that picture he has had weird things happen to him."
Xander20021
Always listen to your bad vibes. They know all...
The Grunt
"I would cut weight/train for wrestling in high school, which meant a lot of dark-night runs at the middle school track. It was an old gravel one close to the woods with no lights. I didn't like running at the high school track for some reason so I'd just go there. I'd hold my phone to time my laps and one night while I was looking down at it, someone tackled me out of nowhere."
"We rolled around on the ground and he never said a word. Just grunted. Luckily, I got up and ran towards the middle school. I ran into some people and they called the cops. I left all of my stuff behind and he didn't take any of it. It was pretty strange."
Dragoevsky
3:21
"Driving from Northern California to Southern California through the middle of the night about a decade ago. I was tired, and the scenery along the freeway through the central valley isn't very interesting. I remember passing an old silo, looking at my car clock and it was 3:17 in the morning."
"Drove some more, passed a powerline, and it was 3:21."
"I blinked, shuffled in my seat, and passed that same old silo, and it was back to 3:17. I was in disbelief. I just stared at my clock for a few moments."
"Drove a little bit more, passed the same powerline, 3:21. Don't know why or how, but I went backwards about 4 minutes. Never experienced anything similar or since."
haysus25
Meow...
"A random cat on the street once protected me from a man who I didn't realize was following me."
"I was (stupidly) talking on my phone while walking home at night. I saw a man who was talking to himself near a park and I deliberately chose to walk down another street to avoid him. In the middle of my phone conversation, this orange cat comes up beside me and starts walking next to me."
"We walk in tandem for about three blocks, me telling the person I was talking to how funny this was."
"Suddenly, the cat starts to turn around and head back the other way. I look and see that same man I'd seen earlier, who had changed his original direction and had been following me for a few blocks. The cat got in between us and howled at him until he turned around and went the other way."
"Then the cat and I walked another block together, at which point he peeled off into a yard. I double-checked and the man was had disappeared. I can't be sure that the man wished me harm, but I know I wouldn't have noticed him if it weren't for that cat. I never believed in guardian angels or anything of that sort until I had that experience."
Mgnolry
Prints
"You know on cold days inside your car you can breath on the window and draw on the glass? I got in my car, and as I look at the windshield I see a few small baby hands. I thought it was strange someone would let a baby play on my cars windshield. I had an urge to touch the baby prints and as I touched it, I wiped away the hand prints. The hand prints were made from inside of my locked car. This is probably the strangest creepiest unexplained phenomena that’s ever happened to me."
ScootyPufff
Sucking lIfe
"I had a recurring nightmare of a pitch black parasite sucking the life it of me. Sometimes it waited for me in dark corners to go to bed. My cats always slept on my bed during that time. For me it was a very stressful time, a got an itch at the place of my chest where I dreamed the parasite was sucking my life out of me."
"I got sick and felt a pea sized lump. I went to my doc and they ordered a biopsy of that lump. As it turned out I had male breast cancer at the age of 28. After I got well again the dream never came back and my cats slept in their places again and not on my bed."
"The dream was creepy enough what it made for me were my cats protecting me."
Mechanic84
How do any of us sleep at might?
Do you have similar experiences to share? Let us know in the comments below.
There are two groups of people in this world.
Those who believe in monogamy and those who don't.
People cheat. It's just the way some humans work.
If you're an avid soap opera fan, as I am, then you'll understand that infidelity is part of the package.
Redditor zabalansu wanted to know why we cheat, so they asked:
"Why did you cheat on your partner?"
I've cheated. Because I knew it was already over and I was too much a coward to admit it.
Bad Ideas
Tom And Jerry Reaction GIFGiphy"I was drinking and doing a lot of drugs... it honestly turned me into a careless piece of crap for a long time!"
Keone_710
You First
"I cheated once, and it was because she'd cheated on me. I'd already been cheated on before so it was like: 'Well: this time I'm getting revenge.'"
"I didn't feel any better. Made me feel almost as shi**y as I thought she was. She was angry as f**k, but I can't honestly say it was any different than any of the other gals that get pissed off when you break up with them. Haven't cheated since."
"If you're getting cheated on, don't demean yourself by sinking to their level. Just give 'em the boot."
JAHNOOSKA
Craiglist People
"Because I truly had no idea what a healthy or functional relationship looked like. My parents were married for almost 30 years and had already started the cycle of cheating on each other well before I was born. My grandma used to tell me stories of being friends with my grandpa’s girlfriends 'because she just wasn’t toxic and jealous like other women.'"
"In the relationship where I cheated, I was being treated like garbage. Financially supporting us both even though I was ten years younger and a waitress, enduring a lot of abuse from a very broken man. I felt trapped in the same cycle I had watched my mom and my grandma live, I didn’t really know better."
"A guy at work started paying attention to me, and I loved it. He was sweet and poetic and romantic, committed to helping his sister raise his niece, was out of the house and working instead of drinking my paycheck away and punching holes in my walls. A little harmless work flirting quickly escalated and before I knew it, I was having a whole a** affair."
"I started to prepare myself to leave my boyfriend for my affair partner, when I found out that my boyfriend had been cheating on me with anyone he could find on Craigslist (including stealing money from me to pay sex workers). Any guilt I felt for cheating evaporated right then."
"I threw all my clothes in a trash bag and drove to my affair partners house, ready to start our new life together. He had another girl over, basically admitted that a lot of what he had said to me was because he thought I would never leave. All in all, it was a mess. If you’re unhappy in your relationship, do the work that will either fix it or get you out. That new person is flawed too. They won’t fix you or fulfill you, only you can do that."
BeebMommy
"forbade"
"Because my wife told me that she was no longer interested in having sex with me, she didn't want me having it with anyone else, and she 'forbade' me from watching porn (I still did the latter, but we could never discuss it or she'd freak out.)"
"So to get my sexual needs met by someone other than myself, for several years, a few times per year I paid a sex worker for a happy ending massage. This was still cheating, but I rationalized it as the 'mildest form' of cheating possible. No chance of an STI, no chance of an unwanted pregnancy, no emotional involvement. I knew it was wrong, but at the time I felt like it was my best choice out of several lousy choices."
"I realize now I should have just said at the time, 'I want a divorce.' That's where we ended up anyway, and I would have saved myself, my wife, and our kids some needless pain over the years. By cheating on her (and hiding it from her), I made it so much worse when she eventually found out."
"To cheaters on here, I would say: get out of your relationship. If you're cheating, you're clearly not happy. Do yourself and your partner a favor and just end it now, before it all goes to hell."
DivorcingGuy1234
The Worst
maury GIFGiphy"Because I wasn't over my ex and when she came knocking I didn't value my new relationship enough and crossed a line I never will lower myself to cross again. You feel like sh*t for years after it, really not worth it no matter how you try to justify it to yourself at the time."
Secret_Guarantee_277
Getting over and getting under... all stressful options.
A Mess
Steve Harvey Reaction GIFGiphy"Drunk and being hit on by a bendy yoga teacher. Got caught in the same day. It was a sh**show."
Top-Pin-3520
In the Dark Place
"I came here to try and understand what goes on in someone's head when this happens because I've been cheated on sexually and emotionally. Instead I'm just left feeling sorry for the people in this thread. So many people in such a dark place pulling their partners down to an equally dark place. I hope everyone here that has cheated has grow and gotten help. And that they can pursue a healthy and fulfilling relationship after they've grown past that."
"For the people that have been cheated on, I'm sorry all of you went through that and I hope it never happens again. Sometimes it feels like something I'll never fully recover from and other times I refuse to let past hurts ruin the chance of something good happening. So I want the people who have been hurt by their partners cheating to know just because it's happened once doesn't mean it will again and good things can still happen for you."
UmbraofDeath
Rear View
"Because I was too chicken s**t to get a divorce because I was wildly unhappy and too proud to go to therapy to fix the marriage. So I cheated, got caught, and have since been to a ton of therapy and am getting a divorce. Even though I’m happy to have this relationship in my rear view, cheating is my life’s biggest regret."
RecoverSexAddict
That's messed up...
"This was me a decade ago. It was just one time. I had somehow rationalized if I cheated he could then just hate me. That would hurt less than me telling him I didn't love him anymore and I wanted out. He was a good partner, but I fell out of love with him."
"The latter would've been the honorable thing to do. He was going to be hurt either way! I was just doing mental gymnastics to justify my reasoning - really I just liked the attention that I wasn't getting at home. That's messed up. I worked a lot on myself and go to therapy. I'm a much better partner now, and I haven't done it since."
Ok_Adhesiveness_4321
Worthless
Will Smith Smh GIF by The Academy AwardsGiphy"Because she cheated on me first. I don’t ever recommend such a stupid f**king decision. It isn’t worth it, folks. I normally considered myself strong and stoic before that? I don’t have a foot to stand on now. It wasn’t worth it."
BBQSpareRibMoon
Bad Connections
"I felt an intimacy connection with someone which I’d never had before. In retrospect it’s one of the dumbest and stupidest things I ever could have done. It wasn’t at all worth what it has now become. I’ve lost my entire family and have no respect from the people that matter most to me. 10/10 would not recommend and would never do again. I lost it all for something that never even really mattered. I had it all in front of me, I just refused to see it."
WeCanWeWi11
Well, love isn't always forever and intimacy is something we work on every single day.
Do you have similar experiences to share? Let us know in the comments below.
Relationships, whether that means dating or being in some form of a long-term relationship, are hard, and that definitely includes sexual intimacy. Whether it's trying to keep things interesting or staying connected after a long time of being together, many people struggle to stay intimate with their partner.
But some may be surprised at just how long some people go without having sex.
Redditor ItsRainingAlberts asked:
"What is the longest you've gone without sex, and why did you go so long?"
Tough Break-Ups
"A year. I was shattered from a break-up (two years ago)."
"Now I'm enjoying the dating scene."
- Enekovitz
No Rebounds
"A little over two years. I had no partner and wasn't really interested in finding one at that moment, and casual sex did nothing at all for me anymore. I didn't care about sex much at all during that period of my life."
- SexyChronicPain
A Dissolved Marriage
"Over three years. My wife wouldn’t touch me and I remained faithful."
"Now divorced at 40, it’s kind of hard to meet people, so the counter continues to go up."
"I'm doing mostly better since the breakup. I'm still struggling with seeing my daughter less and balancing work life and meager attempts of putting myself out there to meet new people."
- DarkScytheCuriositie
Lingering Grief
"Seven or eight years. Three or four years because my husband wasn't able to anymore, and almost five years since he died."
"I have no interest at all in looking for another life partner but I had tons of sex in my 20s so I'm all good now."
- PurplePanda1971
Social Trouble
"About a year now since my ex broke up with me. I haven't gotten anything since and probably won't for a while as I'm not very good at socializing, especially with people I'm interested in."
- billybongnong
Friends Only
"Since I had sex for the first time at age 16, the longest I have gone without was four years, from 2017 to 2021."
"Why? Because I'm now a single male in my late 40s. I have never had the desire to get married, and I don't do well in relationships."
"Most women in my age group are now married, and the ones who aren't are not interested in FWB (Friends With Benefits) relationships or one-night stands."
"I'm lucky to have found a woman who's interested in FWB, who's 27, and who has an obsession with older men, but women like her don't grow on trees."
- Fresh-Hedgehog1895
Lackluster Interactions
"Since my last relationship, all of my sexual encounters have been spontaneous, casual, and overall kind of meh."
- bazmonsta
Different Interests
"I will never have children or date someone with children and in your 30s that eliminates everyone. I'm at 2 years myself and while it sometimes gets lonely I've learned to like having 100% of my time belong to me."
- SchleftySchloe
Bad Experiences
"Two and a half years... still going strong. I don't want to get with someone again for now due to past experiences."
"I've had my fair share of relationships, and the sex (most of the time) wasn't bad but very good, the relationship though wasn't good a lot of the time, and in a relationship, I look for more than just sex, and I don't look for sex without a relationship."
"So for now, I'm good, and if I never have it again, I won't really cry about it."
- JVR84
The Importance of Intimacy
"A... while. Having sex is an incredibly intimate experience, and it can be hard to recover from bad experiences."
"I feel like a relationship is more than just the physical, the emotional bond and love, and support is what holds a relationship together. If you can't find that mutual love and respect, it doesn't matter how great the sex is."
- ItsRainingAlberts
An Evolving Relationship
"The last four years. Ever since my twins were born, my wife has had zero sex drive."
"We do the deed once, maybe twice, a year. I wish things were different, but I love her and if that’s all I get, then I’m willing to accept that."
- Jonquay84
The Way It Used to Be
"My husband has the same issue but shows me affection in other ways so I don't want to leave. Just wish that part was still there."
- WyattLP323
Low Point in Life
"I'm going on almost eight years now. I had a major life event where I lost everything, and the subsequent depression killed any desire to be with another human."
"I don’t even like to be touched now. I look at myself in the mirror and I am disgusted. I’m not ugly, but I have let myself go to a point where my physical looks match what I think I mentally look like."
- airlinehome
Mental Health
"I haven’t had sex in close to five years now, by choice. My antidepressants killed my sex drive so now I have zero interest."
- mermadzz
Medical Problems
"14 years and counting. I went through some pretty awful medical s**t that year, and one of the side effects is no more sex. This has been, as they said in ancient Babylonia, 'a real bummer.'"
- facelesscog
While the reasons for not experiencing sexual intimacy are all across the board, people who are currently missing the experience can at least take some comfort in how common of an issue this seems to be.
Do you have any similar experiences or anything to share? Let us know in the comments below.
No one's life is going to be perfect, and we cannot be happy 100% of the time.
But there are things we can do to make our lives, and others', better, and those things are not necessarily all that complicated.
Redditor shadow_2116 asked:
"What are some unwritten life rules everyone must know?"
Stay Humble
"If you don't understand something someone is telling you, say so instead of pulling an 'opinion' on the topic out of your a**. There is no shame in not knowing or understanding something."
"Refusing to admit you don't know and by extension refusing to learn something new because your ego is hurt is gravely misguided, however."
- devilish-WiFi
Stop Comparing
"In the song 'Grand Illusion' by Styx, there is a line: 'Don’t be fooled by the radio, tv, or the magazine. Shows you photographs of how your life should be, compared to someone else’s fantasy.'"
"So, I guess, the idea that you might not feel like you're living your best life when you compare it with what you're told is supposed to be your best life."
" Also along this line, 'Don’t compare your day-to-day life to someone else’s highlights.' Like, don’t compare your life to what bits you see of someone on social media."
A Golden Rule for Kids
"If a toddler hands you a toy phone, you answer it."
- IRErover
"Family" Isn't a Reason
"Just because someone is family, doesn't mean they're a good person."
"It's so wild how people call you a bad person for avoiding your family despite knowing nothing about their family."
"Like, 'It doesn't matter what they did, you were in the wrong because they're family,' makes zero sense to me, but other people look at me like I'm the lost one.
- Lo-Fi_Kuzco
Avoid Gossip
"Not everybody is your friend, so be careful who you vent to. Many people only want juicy gossip and don’t give a s**t about you or your problems."
"A good sign of this is when your friend brings you dirt or juicy stuff about someone else that likely was said in confidence or probably shouldn't have been communicated out."
"If they do that, your info is equally being dished out."
"Putting folks on informational diets is the way to go until you gain a supreme level of mutual trust."
- OneObi
Exceed Expectations
"Under promise and over deliver. People will think you are a genius."
- ballistic-jelly
Don't Ask the Question You Don't Want the Answer To
"Don’t ask for somebody else’s opinion and get mad when they tell it to you."
- CatacombsRave
Compliments Make a Difference
"It never hurts to compliment somebody on the quality of their work, their hobbies, and whatever field are most important to their self-esteem. It always goes a long way."
- High-Time-Cymbaline
Friendship Reality Check
"Your best friend may not consider you to be their best friend."
- swatguy06
Be Able to Walk Away
"Never let anyone take or disturb your peace. Learn to walk away from toxic people!"
- SwissCake_98
No Sudden Reactions
"Your feelings are valid, but your reactions may not be."
"If you ever find yourself feeling very angry at somebody, and want to give them a piece of your mind either over text, email, or phone, listen to this advice. It’s some of the best I have ever learned."
"Write down what you would want to say first, either in a word document or email or whatever, save it, but DO NOT send it. Then, wait at least 12 hours or overnight and revisit what you wrote."
"After having a cool-off period and some time to gain some clarity, 90% of the time you would have regretted having sent the original message and are usually in a much better place to respond so as to not burn any bridges that you meant to keep."
"I’ve always heard of this as having 'restraint of pen and tongue' and is one of the clearest signs of maturity."
- Googleclimber
Elevator Etiquette
"Before you enter and elevator, LET OTHER PEOPLE OUT FIRST, GODD**NIT!"
- IcyHotRyan
Don't Make It Worse
"If someone does something unintentionally embarrassing or awkward, you pretend it didn't happen, and if they look at you, you just smile and look away."
- WolfThick
A Few Golden Tips
"Admit when you've done something wrong."
"Trust your gut."
"Nobody thinks as much about you as yourself."
"Be kind. Don't be an a**hole."
"If you need help and it is available, ask for it, take it."
"Just because you apologize doesn't mean the other party has to forgive and forget."
- _space_platypus_
The Best of Times and the Worst of Times
"Life actually sucks a lot of the time. If you expect to be happy all the time, you will be sorely disappointed and lost. Instead, work up resilience to the hard times and take your time to enjoy the good times."
"It can take so long to learn this, because no one really talks about it, and for some weird reason the only accepted default state is 'happy.'"
"Another factor is how that's basically what you are until 15 years old. Until your basic reptile adult 'survival responsibility' kicks in, we're oblivious and happy most of the time. Then suddenly, the baseline changes, and almost no one is prepared for it, and the only reasonable conclusion is that you're mentally ill and depressed."
"That's why I take every opportunity I get to talk about how much life sucks so that people can enjoy it more with less fantastical expectations, lol (laughing out loud)."
- manofredgables
There are so many good pieces of advice here, but perhaps the most wonderful thing is that it doesn't take a lot to make someone's day a little better, including your own.
Life as a member of the LGBTQ+ community is easy...said nobody ever.
History has shown that society has never been accepting of marginalized people, particularly in the gay community.
The coming out experience often includes people responding to the revelation with questions like "why would anyone would choose to live a life of constant ridicule?"
While being gay is–once and for all–not a choice, cynics got one part right with the notion that gay people are subject to harassment and bullying for being different.
Curious to hear of the struggles that come with being othered, Redditor shiraah asked:
"Gay people of reddit, whats the hardest part about being gay?"
Listen to their voices. They need to be heard.
We Are Strangers In A Strange Land
"It makes you feel like a foreigner in your own land. Society is set up for heteronormatity and being gay means that you never fully fit in."
"Sure western society has accepted us a bit more in the last decade, but we still aren't really, 'normal.'"
"Straight people will casually drop things about their boyfriend, or fiance in public without a second thought. But I have to read the room before talking about that."
"Most doctors act weird at first when you talk to them about sexual health. They all seem to assume I have undiagnosed HIV or something."
"Gay men seem to develop at a different rate, so in many ways, our only true, 'peers' are other gay men. But since we are only 3% of the population, it can be really hard to find a circle."
"On top of that, 30ish percent of the US population still hates us. You never know when you are in the presence of an unsafe person."
"Interacting with children is actually terrifying because at any point in time, the parents can accuse you of grooming. This is especially true with teenagers. I really wish the older gay community could mentor teenage gay boys. But there is simply no safe way to discuss sexuality with them. We have to just blanket exclude everyone under 18 for the safety of the community."
"I see boys on Reddit all the time, freaking out at the realization that they are gay. But I can't console them. Its not safe. I actually have several events scheduled in my calendar that say, 'x reddiitor is now 18, follow up and make sure he understands sexual health.'"
– thedrakeequator
I Just Want To Hold Their Hand
"always being on edge/on guard when ur out with ur partner in public. not sure if you can hold their hand or kiss them or show any kind of affection. it’s sucks, i just wanna hold their hand walking thru the park but it’s a 50/50 chance if it’s gonna be fine or if someone’s gonna do something to us"
– fvcking-hell
These Redditors shared their experiences involving friends who were supposed "allies."
The Late-To-The-Party-Ally
"I grew up in a smaller town. I’m bi, so a little of this, a little of that. I had some gay porn between my mattress and box spring. Some 'friends' and my ex gf found it while I was at work. That sh*t spread like f'king wildfire. My ex gf and her new bf had a blast outing me to anybody who would listen. This was all about 15 years ago and it haunts me to this day. When I texted her and begged her to stop, she responded with 'HAHAHAHAHAHA!' and we never spoke again."
"Now that it’s 'cool' and 'progressive' to support LGBTQ+ rights, she’s 'aN aLl' and 'sUpPoRtS lOvE' 2,000 miles away from our hometown.
"F'k you, Candace."
– A_Soft_Fart
"When I was in high school, still in the closet, I had a super close male friend. Never any romantic feelings there, we were both just awkward kids who got each other. One day he was over at my house and we were play wrestling, and I remember thinking 'if I come out, we are never going to be able to do this again.'”
"A few months later, I came out to a girl in our friend group. I specifically asked for her advice and emotional support coming out to him, because I knew he had conservative parents and it was going to be a difficult conversation. You know where this is going. She told him I had a crush on him, then started telling anybody who would listen. He never talked to me again, fell in with a weird crowd, and now he’s a MAGA republican."
"I came home from school that day and had to immediately come out to my Catholic parents, worried that they would hear it from someone else. That whole experience was terrible, I won’t bore you with the details."
"Then a few months ago I see this girl post about the importance of being an ally. I have never in my life wanted so badly to throw a massive social media tantrum."
– chicksonfox
The hard part is over after coming out. But then, new challenges arise.
Loneliness
"It’s lonely. Especially if you’re not an extrovert or ‘mainstream’ gay person."
– Triairius
Isolation From Within
"This and hating the whole hookups culture hurt the most. I read too many things about gay guys always hooking up and only looking for hookups, so I just kinda end up excluding myself from the gay community. Then being in heavily religious states causes me to feel excluded in the straight communities I’ve been in because either they talk about gays being 'sinful' or talk about girls and I just stand there and nod."
– ArtyomV2
Guessing Game
"Trying to gauge if someone is gay or not before asking them out."
– PadThai517
Fearing A Negative Response
"I've never asked out a guy because I have this fear that a straight guy will take offense and punch me. I know it's unlikely, but it sticks in the back of my mind."
"Edit- just want to say that I greatly appreciate the positive comments, I'm overwhelmed and hope I'm lucky enough to hit on some of you straight guys someday :)"
– SwiftCase
As a gay, cisgender male, I'm always coming out to people I meet for the first time, either through a mutual friend or at a family function.
I don't mind opening up to people about my self-identity.
However, it can be tedious, constantly feeling the need to explain who I am to certain individuals who grew up in a hetereonormative environment as a preface to getting acquainted.
Rather than demanding gay people conform to the concept of a "normal" society, the change should be coming from society to normalize acceptance and compassion toward LGBTQ+-identifying people.
There have been significant strides for progress, but the fact that we're still having a conversation about the hardships of being gay reveals we still have a ways to go.