Passing on wisdom generation to generation is a life milestone. There are only things that can be taught to you by a parent. Life's meaning is learning as much as we can to impart wisdom onto others that follow, especially if they're our children. A parent/child bond is so special yet so fragile. So treat it with care.
Redditor u/Ajnat75 wanted to hear the advice that boys need to hear most from their dads by asking..... What's the best lesson a father should pass on to his son?
Look Close
seth meyers dabbing GIF by Late Night with Seth Meyers
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Taking responsibility for your actions. It is unbelievable how bad people blame others for their problems and do not look themselves in the mirror to see what they could do better.
Letters from Jail....
My biological dad left me when I was born. He was a felon on the run. One thing he said to me in a letter from jail was. "I was a coward and didn't want to own up to my responsibilities. Look at where I am at now, I will never meet my son again. Don't take advantage of anyone that loves you and wants the best for you, in the end always learn to love one another, take responsibility for your actions, and never abounded your family."
Update : I want to thank everyone for the great comments and awards. I am 24 years old (male). I've accomplished great things and will always thank my dad for given me that drive... I love my step-dad now and he also is an amazing role model. When I have children, I will be the best dad ever. Again thank you for the nice comments, I rarely ever talk about this.
Prepare....
My dad has taught me a few. The two that first come to mind are:
Prepare for the worst but hope for the best
And....
The lessons best learned are the ones that hurt the most.
kindness....
Episode 9 Hug GIF by The Simpsons
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The best lesson for me is compassion. My dad would pull over to push broken down cars out of the road.
He would take the homeless guy by the White Castle sliders. He would shovel our neighbors sidewalk. I could go on. He taught me that the burden is lighter if we carry it together.
get a pen
The TWO things that I think are core to teach your kids are empathy and personal responsibility.
This can be reflected in a variety of ways
- it's only a game if both people want to play
- big people watch out for little people
- treat other people the way you would like to be treated
- work before play cromulent_weasel
the basics...
Know how to cook and clean.
Being a useless bachelor is less charming than you think. After you've found someone, it's the easiest tool you can use to impress them.
Having dinner ready for your partner in a clean kitchen after they've had a long day goes a lonnnng way, and it's really not that much effort.
My dad told me this before I left for college (with a few more sexist points I've omitted) but the message was the same. Don't be a slob, and know how to make a few killer meals.
Daughters....
Treat women like people, not commodities (Cannot believe this wasn't already posted).
As the father of two daughters and a son, this can't be stressed enough. This machismo "don't mess with my daughter" thing? Yes, tone it down a little and teach your daughters about consent and bodily autonomy, but so many dads like this fail to teach this same lesson to their sons.
Teach your sons to treat women how you'd want other people's sons to treat your daughters.
Honestly, take gender out of it and just teach it as a general rule - a rule made out of gold, like some sort of... golden... rule.
From the Web
I see a lot of answers posted here, most of them copied from some "father advice" website. Here's what I am tryin' to teach my kids:
- Respect people and try to understand that sometimes bad people are bad because they had less luck in life.
- Have enough confidence to try and succeeded doing things by yourself.
- Even if you do things by yourself, your family and your friends WILL help you. and69
Feelings....
I Love You Hearts GIF by Chippy the Dog
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It's ok to show affection, and say "I love you." Greatest gift my father ever gave me.
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Kitchen Staff
cheese GIFGiphyRats in a professional kitchen are OK.
Myself and all the other chefs/cooks I know love that movie for how realistic it is in so many ways, right down the to the pan burns on Collette's arm. But for true realism she should've punched him in the freaking mouth.
Hans was an intelligent and manipulative character. Kinda sexy. He had a plan, adapted well to radically changed circumstances, and very nearly took over the whole kingdom over the span of 24 hours. He only got caught because he couldn't resist the temptation to villain monologue... but what Disney character can?
When I was a Child
interested toy story GIFGiphyYour toys are alive and resent you for giving them away.
An even worse lesson from Toy Story: Kids who show creativity and imagination by disassembling toys to make new toys are evil and should be psychologically tortured.
Prince Ali
Aladdin taught me that a legitimate government was a thing you could fake with a really good parade.
This bothered me since I was a kid. Aladdin said he "wasn't a real prince" and all we see the genie do is arrange a parade with a bunch of people who all seem to disappear as soon as the parade is over. But Aladdin didn't wish for a fake parade to pad out a long con. He wished to be a prince.
Freaking unwatchable.
Poor Quasi....
The Hunchback of Notre Dame teaches that if you're ugly, you might find acceptance, but you won't find love. Love is for the attractive characters.m
To be fair though the novel is actually waaayyy worse. Phoebus takes Esmeralda's virginity then ditches her. She ends up being hung as a witch. Quasimodo burns the church killing the priest and then disappears. Sooo... Disney's version is a little less dark.
For the Boys
Disobey your father, sell your soul to a witch, all to hook up with some guy you've never spoken to that's a completely different species and would eat your closest friends for dinner.
And give up your voice.... and fall for a man who also falls in love with you when you don't have a voice. Ladies you just need to be pretty, no need to be able to speak your mind.
Goodnight....
sleeping beauty disney GIFGiphyInstead of owing up to your mistake, just put the entire kingdom to sleep until it's fixed.
Sleeping Beauty. The fairies put the kingdom to sleep after Aurora pricks her finger until prince what's his face defeats Maleficent.
Beware the Love
All the princess movies, minus Frozen, Brave, Moana, and The Princess and the Frog: The person you instantly fall in love with is your soulmate and you should throw everything away to be with them. The only princess I can kind forgive for this is Cinderella considering her life at home was terrible, so she wasn't losing everything by running off with the prince.
So many people I know personally have done the same thing and gotten themselves into really bad situation/abusive relationships.
Hey You
maleficent GIFGiphyAlso don't talk to strangers. Unless strangers are hot. Then talk to strangers.
Snow White: Don't trust the woman disguised as an old lady.
Beauty and the Beast: You had better trust the woman disguised as an old lady.
Looks and $$$
A rich and handsome man will come and take your helpless butt away from all of your troubles.
Pretty sure the Melania cartoon from the new Borat film was not produced by Disney....
Beast
beauty and the beast ballroom GIF by DisneyGiphyMy husband's favorite movie is beauty and the beast and every time after we watch it he takes off all of his clothes and he pretends that he is the beast and he runs around the house terrorizing me.
I'll gladly take him off your hands he sounds like my dream man.
Power
If you're not born into power, marry for it.
Bad advice because it's a very hard thing to actually pull off.
A lot of people (mainly women) waste their lives away thinking that marrying a rich or powerful man will one day solve all their problems, when the vast majority will never even date one.
2 better than 1
Ralph 2 = Go turbo for your personal benefits and as the president, abandon all your citizens and abandon your best friends while you're at it.
This is referring to Vanellope.
And that is one of many reasons why I hate Wreck it Ralph 2. It took everything Wreck it Ralph 1 established and threw it all away.
Mama Dearest
I dunno. But, all the dead moms makes me feel like Disney feels some type a way about mothers.
Sort of. Disney's mother did die due to his heater installation screw-up, but a lot of old fairy tales had dead mothers anyway, so the two weren't necessarily related.
Lip Service
Black And White Love GIFGiphyYou fall in love with the random man who kissed while you were sleeping.
Trust Truth
Never. Trust. Anyone. Even. If. They. Are. Family.
Let's be real. For a lot of people that's a pretty good thing to learn early on. Perhaps not the healthiest way to learn it but still.
UP
You can lift anything with enough balloons.
That movie used a silly version of physics, but I think it worked perfectly because it was consistent.
Everything worked the way a kid thinks it would. If they had changed it for realism at any point it would have broken the whole vibe.
But I'm also biased because that movie is just SO RIDICULOUSLY GOOD.
Messy Love
If you fall for a woman, the best way to get her to love you is to kidnap her until Stockholm Syndrome sets in. Maybe give her some hallucinogenic drugs so that she thinks that the furniture and serving wear are alive and singing to her and dancing with her.
walt disney animation studios love GIF by DisneyThey aren't speaking English. It's just being translated for the benefit of the audience.
In Lady and the Tramp, there was a scene where they were walking around the zoo after hours, talking to the animals. They went up to the monkey cage but all they got from them was monkey chatter because "they must be too closely related to humans."
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Don't know it all...
Seth Meyers Whatever GIF by Late Night with Seth MeyersGiphyAdults don't have it all figured out.
They are just used to the fact that they are not and are usually quite good at hiding it.
Dealing with your emotions will become easier as you grow.
Even if someone says that their high school years were the best time of their life, doesn't mean that yours should necessarily be, there's a high chance your best years are far ahead of you.
Not You
2 related messages.
- almost nobody gives a crap about you
- that is amazing news. Kryten_2X4B_523P
I always used to cringe when I remembered an embarrassing situation that happened to me, because I would worry about what others thought of me. Nowadays I don't really care and I always keep in mind that everyone has been through some embarrassing things as well, which means they probably cringe more about themselves than me, the same way I cringe about myself and totally forget about others.
Tell the Truth
Parents mess up too. Good parents openly admit their wrongs and use it as a teaching moment.
This! Apologize to your kids if you mess up! I can't tell you how many times I have yelled or placed blame when I shouldn't have. I always, always apologize and explain-- we are only human and we mess up too.
When you don't apologize to your kids, you teach them to be unapologetic when they are grown as well.
The Best
schitts creek dancing GIF by CBCGiphyI came here to say what my father told me the day before I started high school- don't ever let anyone tell you that this is the "best time of your time". Yeah you should enjoy this time, its fun because you start to get more independence and start to become your own person but life SHOULD keep getting better and more interesting as you get older.
the clean-up
Basic household "management". Learn how to cook a couple of meals, know when to tidy/clean up a bit etc. Speaking from someone who moved out at 18 and had no clue. Oh and look after yourself physically and mentally.
The summer before I went to university, my mom gave me a bootcamp in adult self-reliance.
I did the laundry, the dishes, cooked most meals and kept a big chunk of the house clean.
She also required me to demonstrate at least three or four main meals, a breakfast, and a dessert to a decent standard.
She wanted to be sure that when I was living under my own steam I'd be able to look after my space and feed myself more than just toast and instant noodles.
Turns out, most of the people I lived with in university couldn't do half of that, and the best way to make friends in university is to offer chocolate cupcakes on day one.
Years & Years.....
Right now you have a massive span of life in front of you. Enjoy it. But remember ten or twenty years from now you're going to be much happier if you both had fun and also thought ahead.
Read. Exercise. Hug your friends. Show your loved ones you love them, whatever that means to you.
This thread might be filled with ways to be a responsible adult and a successful person. Try as hard as you can to be a happy one too.
Edit: Thanks for the awards, and thanks for being you. Sorry for the typo. And yes, maybe wait til Covid is over before hugging everyone? Just keep it in mind for when things are better.
be crazy.....
You will make mistakes and sometimes those mistakes will be huge. But, that's ok. Whatever problem that mistake produced, it's only temporary. You can correct it. It may not be easy and it may take time, but you can do it.
wicked GIF by NBCJust.... Don't.....
Don't blow your student loan on drugs.
Don't blow your load in someone you don't want kids with.
Don't blow off family/friend gatherings. They won't be around forever.
Don't blow your cool if you can help it. It rarely solved anything.
back in the day...
sexy high school GIFGiphyYou won't give a crap about things that happened in high school when you're in college/working.
Keep Running
I played sports in high school and I was a pretty good runner. I was also a musician in the school band. Now in my 30s the only thing I still care about from high school is that I wish I hadn't let myself get out of shape, or stop playing music. Those things become harder to find the time to improve at as you get older.
I did eventually start running again to lose weight and I'm still a runner today but I'm no where near as good.
be okay....
notorious julia george GIF by The Paley Center for MediaGiphyDon't compare yourself to others too much. No matter how perfect someone may seem, they're not. Nobody is. Everybody has flaws and makes mistakes. You're okay.
Make a Mess
Learn how to screw up. We spend too much of our lives trying to do everything right, but the best lessons come from learning from our mistakes.
I'm reading the Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k by Mark Manson right now. He does a really good job explaining why only pursuing positive experiences in life is itself a negative experience. I highly recommend anyone who is interested to read the book.
Feeling Good
The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something before you feel good about yourself.
To add to that, you gotta take care of yourself. Not just your physical self, your mental health too.
The world will ignore it but you gotta protect and care for yourself like you would for a close friend. Even if you have tons of friends, be your own best friend too. Look out for that dude, he'll thank you later for it.
HR Issues
No matter where you work, HR is not your friend.
This was a rude awakening for me working for a so-called social justice organization and learning that behind the scenes its just a company that runs a low-wage front line like any other company. old fashioned worker exploitation.
Simply the Best
Youre The Best GIF by Rhino RecordsGiphyIf somebody tries to tell you "these are the best years of your life", that's absolute horse-crap. Your quality of life and how much fun you are allowed to have is not dictated by your age. And it's naïve to assume all teenagers have it easy.
Soap it Up
Personal hygiene is critical. You need to shower regularly (soap on armpits, crotch, and ass crack), use antiperspirant, brush and floss, and do your laundry. Other people will notice your funk long before you do and once you're known as the smelly person, it's nearly impossible to clear that reputation.
Make it a rule that you don't leave your house unless you've showered within the last 24 hours, are wearing clean underwear, and have brushed your teeth and put on deodorant within an hour prior to leaving. It sounds silly but there is sadly a large population that needs to improve their hygiene.
The Add Up
Everything compounds: your savings, your reputation, your career, etc. Get started early because playing catch up is hell. The one thing I would really emphasize is to learn about household finances/budgeting, saving, and investing. Take the standard of living you want and figure out what level of income it will take to achieve and sustain it. Then compare that income to your "follow your dream" job.
It is fine to follow your dreams, but know what the trade-offs are, the likely outcomes will be, and have a plan B. Start saving now and open an investment account and an education IRA. It's amazing what a few thousand wisely invested as a teen can grow to over a lifetime.
Get a Pen
3 things I wish I had known:
Figure out what you want to do....
Not what you want to learn about. Think about the actual work you'd be doing in a "field". Science is exciting but are you ready to stand around in a lab all day writing stuff down in the most thorough way possible?
Money stuff....
You don't get rich with the money you earn, you get rich with the money you don't spend. Be careful spending money on trends and be aware of things you want to actually keep, not that you want to have right now. Also Excel is your friend, learn to budget as soon as possible.
Use every opportunity you get....
It may feel like there's always a next time but there's also no reason to not do it now. Whether it's that trip with your buddies or the chance to have a private moment with your crush. Don't wait for a perfect moment, not even a good one, use the moment you have, because you won't always get another one. And you most certainly don't want to have a "what if I did that" thing haunting you. There's always a million reasons not to do something. You only need one reason to do something.
We Know
tyler perry oprah GIFGiphyThe adults giving you advice to avoid certain mistakes will most likely of been told the exact same thing and choose to ignore it, which would of been expected as they too ignored the advice.
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shoes GIFAt 36....
When I fell down at work and no one laughed. Instead three people came running over to make sure I was ok.
Edited to clarify: I'm only 36. I was walking in our break room and stepped down wrong I guess. I fell into the stove and rolled my ankle. Thank you all for the awards. Kinda weird that my most popular post is about me falling down. Let me assure all of you that I was ok after this fall and have gone on to fall down two different sets of stairs and trip over my dogs on multiple occasions.
Take me Home
When I went to a music festival and slept in a tent after five or so years of not doing so. My God. I need to get home and take a real shower.
Truth! I slept on an air mattress for the first time in years and holy hell did I ache the next day. Gone are the days I could fall asleep on cold concrete contorted like the best circus act and wake up feeling as refreshed as a spring chicken.
The Wardrobe
dragon ball closet GIFGiphyMy 12 yr old daughter's friend told her "the amount of times your mom has worn that outfit is ASTRONOMICAL" and when my daughter repeated it to me all my hopes of being a "cool" mom were crushed and I felt older than I ever have.
Hey Grandpa...
When I was in my late 20s I dated a girl who had a daughter. The daughter and I got along great, played a bunch of Katamari together, etc.
Years later, that girl and I have long since broken up. I did some volunteer teaching at one of the local alternative schools with my wife. And one of students in the film class we taught was my ex girlfriends daughter, now 18 years old.
At some point in your life, whether you have kids or not, you realize you're technically old enough to be a grandparent. And that feels very old.
Surpassing....
When my son could outrun me.
I went obstacle course running with my oldest (6 years at that time) and he asked if we could still be doing that in 10 years. I told him I would be 50 so sure. You know what that little shit said? "Cool, I will hold back for you dad".
He is probably right but I will keep training to not make it easy for him to pass me.
being 38....
I used to drive for Uber and one night I realized the college girls I picked up could have been my adult daughters.
I'm not quite that old yet; I'm 38, but the really crazy thing to think about is that you don't feel it happening AT ALL. Like, with the exception that for some reason I emit a noise when lifting something light like a box of Cokes, I literally feel exactly the way I think I remember feeling in my 20s, only now there's this number that feels like a freaking toe tag.
Hair issues
shaving shave GIF by Shawn MendesGiphyInstead of growing facial hair to look older, I'm shaving it to look younger.
"The accident"
I saw a picture on Facebook of a friend from college and thought, damn he got fat and old. I immediately realized... I also got fat and old.
My two New Years Resolutions are: #1, get back into the shape i was before the accident; #2, stop referring to letting myself go and getting fat as "The accident."
Who am I?
old man smile GIF by F*CK, THAT'S DELICIOUSGiphyI was playing basketball alone and a bunch of kids smashed a beer bottle on the other side of the court just for fun.
I shouted at them, told them to pick up the pieces and warned them not to do that crap ever again.
They got scared shirtless and apologized. I had never felt older.
D.O.B
When I'm signing up for an account on a website, I have to scroll back pretty far to find my birth year now.
According to most websites I was born on January 1, 1901.
I got kicked off of an alcohol site for entering my birth year as "19" (not realizing it only allowed 2 digits). As a 30-something, i am offended that they don't think a 100 year old can use the internet!
Classics
green day GIF by AMAsGiphyThey played Green Day and The Offspring on the "classic rock" radio station.
Then the announcer says something about it being "released on this day 20 years ago" ... WTF!
papa can you hear me?
Coming around the corner of a department store and seeing my dad come around the corner at the same time.
It was a mirror.
I occasionally say things and hear my father's voice coming out of my mouth. I even notice I have the same half smile he does when I think I'm being clever. It's worrisome.
Nobody We KnowÂ
When I see popular Reddit posts mentioning celebrities with weird, crazy names and I'm like, who the heck are these people?
This isn't just age, it's also a product of the internet era. It used to be that everyone watched the same shows on the same few channels or listened to the same few radio stations, or whatever, so everyone knew the same celebrities.
In this age where the monoculture has been shattered, everyone is watching different shows on Netflix, YouTube, etc, it's so much easier to find niches, no one knows the same set of celebrities anymore.
Mac Who?
sunglasses deal with it GIFGiphyI was teaching a class last week and told my audience that they may need to MacGyver a solution if they come upon a certain problem. No one knew what that meant.
Because someone asked, it was an EMT refresher course. These are the people you trust with your life!
But I'm just 16!Â
When my oldest daughter was in 1st grade, she brought a note home from the teacher, saying that my daughter had misbehaved. I had to sign it and send it back. My daughter was scared and tearful and it suddenly struck me: holy crap - I'm the adult here. I'm the authority figure who a little girl is scared to be in trouble with. To me, I was the same person I was when I was 16.
What am I Thinking?!
I was walking through Sheffield after work, about 7pm, around December 2013 I think. - it was f,f,f,freezing. A bunch of students rounded the corner and a couple of the girls were wearing really short dresses, no coats.
Thought 1: she must be freezing
Thought 2: that's something my dad might have said
Thought 3: I'm OLD enough to be her dad
Thought 4: why did I not think "she was fit!"
Thought 5: when the hell did I start thinking like this?
These thoughts passed through my head in what must have been only half a second.
The Little Things
Getting excited over things like a new vacuum, new water heater, or a not plastic silverware tray. Realizing the Lincoln Park album i like is 20 years old. Laughing when someone invites me out, especially if the start of the event is 9 pm.
It only seems like a couple of years ago that I was spending most of my money on synths and other music gear and preparing to go on tour again.
This morning I was giddy because the Amazon driver delivered my new cushion covers and comfy slippers.
Damn.
deep in thought
I was at work and had a meeting with an ex Olympic gymnast. She was stunning and had cosmetic surgery to 'enlarge her frontage' She was also wearing quite a low cut top that had metal spikes in the shoulders. All (supposedly) very distracting stuff.
My very first thought - 'I bet that jumper makes a noise in the tumble dryer!'
My second thought - 'Damn I'm old!'
Bless You
dana carvey sneezing GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphyI'll add mine since it was the reason I thought to ask this question.... Last week I sneezed and it threw my back out.
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