Some people are just trash. And we can't help ourselves but fall in love with these fools. We give ourselves to them. We love them and teach how to love. And what do they do? They cheat.
Or turn the relationship into a "Dateline NBC" episode.
I have really heard it all when discussing the reasons for straying outside of a relationship. The fact that some people try to sell their madness with a straight face is commendable. But why do it? If you're not happy... leave.
Redditor u/OneAttention2623 wanted to hear about all the best excuses we've been fed from partners about being a lowdown, dirty, scandalous cheat, by asking:
What is The Dumbest Excuse An Ex Has Given You For Cheating?
It just happened. That one is a favorite. Like it was magic or destiny.
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"My ex-husband said these exact words to me. "It wasn't anything to do with you. You were never supposed to know." Freaking f**ker!"
"just a friend"
"I didn't wanna break your heart by dumping you. And you thought cheating would be LESS hurtful???? Forget you, Jess. I only found out because her secret boyfriend unexpectedly showed up at our house one night. She went ghost-pale, swore up-and-down that he was "just a friend" and then HE told me then had been doing/dating for several weeks. Who knows how many OTHER guys she was with behind my back over the 10 years we were together."
Angel of Mercy...
"I thought he had cancer."
"Mr. Jenkins, I'm sorry, but it's cancer. It's in your liver now, but we can assume it will metastasize and move throughout your body. There aren't many treatment options that are available to us that stand much of a chance of working."
"Unless... and this is quite unorthodox... but preliminary studies show that freaking u/dreaminggod05*'s significant other may increase your chances of remission by nearly 69%. After all,* u/dreaminggod05 shows no signs of cancer at all, and we have to assume that benefit must be transmitted sexually. The contact info is available on nearly any restroom wall, but I'll write it down for you before you leave."
"I don't owe you an explanation." She cheated on me with my own damned older brother. That was my first serious relationship, y'all. He and I had already been estranged for a few years. It's what happens when you lie to the cops about your mother beating you with an electrical cord and then pull a buck knife on your little brother and tell him you'll assault him with it if he ever talks to you again"
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"My friend's girlfriend told him that she "forgot she wasn't single anymore" lmfao."
I don't know where to begin. This mess is even beyond Oprah, Brené Brown, Iyanla and Dr. Phil. Just stay single.
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"He said that it was my fault that he cheated because I raised his confidence so much and he figured if he could get me he could get other girls and he decided to test that theory. A lot."
"I was sleep walking."
"There was an episode of "House" where a woman was wondering why her ex who lived in the same complex thinks she wanted him back. When House tells her she's pregnant it turns out she was going to his apartment and was having sex with him in her sleep. I don't remember how it ended because it was just the side plot that led him to figure out the main story."
it's probably not yours…
"When I found out she cheated on me and I asked why, she said "I thought you were going to say we should take a break." When I asked her if the kid was mine or his, she said "it's probably not yours… it could be his or his room mates', to be honest." And that's the magical combination from a fiancé that will send you into depression."
The Most Unexplained Events In History | George Takei’s Oh MyyyHistory is littered with unsolved mysteries. Whether those answers are buried somewhere or lost forever, it doesn't stop people from wondering or hypothesizi...
You'll love her!
"Hey so I've been meaning to bring this up but I'm actually interested in a poly relationship even though we've been together for years and I've never once mentioned it. You'll love her!" Meanwhile he tried to cut me off from all my male friends. I know quite a few poly people, and see how it works for them, which just added to the bull factor."
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"I only had one man cheated on me in my life and that's my ex-husband. And he basically frame it as, "My butterflies for you has flown to her." What more other explanation do I need right? Makes sense..."
Like a Virgin
"I was not a virgin previous to the relationship, so it was not fair that she had not had sex with someone else."
"My ex bf broke up with me for the same reason when previously we were making plans for the future. And when he found out that other women's vaginas aren't more magical than mine he tried to come back to me lol. But at least he did break up instead of cheat."
"Humans are not naturally monogamous. It doesn't make sense for us to be monogamous, so you really can't blame me for acting naturally."
It hurt but I forgave her.
"I found out she cheated on me with a coworker, but admitted it immediately and asked me to forgive her (just got married 3 months before this after 7 years together). It hurt but I forgave her. The next weekend she did it again because "clearly I don't care about her since I didn't get that mad." I wasn't as forgiving the second time, broke some sh*t in our house just to prove how pissed I was, then we split. My life is so much better now."
"I had postpartum depression after my third daughter. My daughters were four, three and one when he slept with my neighbor. He said I emotionally pushed him away 🤔."
"Maybe you did. It would be normal and understandable of you had; three small children and depression would make it very difficult to cater to your husband's needs. So, a decent, unselfish and loving husband would understand the stress and difficulty you're experiencing, and would step up to take care of you and the kids while you recuperate, and would make an effort to maintain the emotional connection between the two of you. What an utter failure at being a husband."
"He didn't "cherish" me. He knew he promised to in his vows but he didn't do it. We divorced in 2012 after 30 years together and he passed a year ago. I'm bittersweet about the whole thing. That man made a mud hole out of my heart by the time I was done."
"You're too emotional and she was giving me advice about you." And "Well I'm much happier now." it's been a year and I'm still seriously f*cked up about it."
"I just posted about mine who said some similar bullsh*t about how she was giving him advice about me. He actually tried to tell me that she had my "best interests" at heart and was doing me a "favor." Yeah, sure."
"This witch I've never met (but who knew I existed and was with my partner) was really looking out for me by jumping on my partner's penis and then sexting him constantly afterward. It's been over a year for me and I'm still messed up about it too. I'm really sorry. Nobody deserves to be betrayed like that, or gaslighted afterward with such absurd, blame-shifting excuses."
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"My Cousin's ex wife cheated on him with her personal trainer and told my cousin it was his fault because he didn't go to the gym with her."
"Oooh... I've got a good story about this. I thought something shady was going on with an ex and her work colleague. I asked her about it and she denied it. Then I got confirmation from another friend who also worked with her. He said she was with this dude on the side."
"So I confront her again and asked why she lied when I asked her about this colleague before and also asked why she was cheating. She said whatever she was doing was between her and work colleague, and so it was none of my business. That's why she didn't have to tell me."
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"It's my birthday too. During the summer after high school (UK) so was 16, got with a gal who had the same birthday as me unknowingly which was quite funny tbh. Fast forward to her birthday party her family threw for her and invited a bunch of friends, I'll never forget walking up the stairs to see them making out. Was the worst birthday I'd ever had."
"Not my story but a couple I was friends with in college. Girlfriend was cheating on her boyfriend for months with a classmate, apparently it started because she had him at her apartment and she had to sit on his lap while they did their work "because of lack of chairs."
I give people points for comedy and ingenuity but come on. I hope in these divorces the scorned took the cheater for EVERYTHING! I would.
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Cheaters never win or prosper. Or do they? Those are especially pointed questions when it comes to matter of the heart. Being in a relationship is difficult. Just because you love someone doesn't mean the devil still isn't beguiling. We're not perfect. I love vodka, but I don't pretend rum isn't out there. I just have to commit to not imbibing. ;)Redditor u/tofuandvegantendies wanted to see who was willing to discuss the times they've strayed from the path of righteousness in relationships by asking... [Serious] People who had an affair and got away with it: what's your story? Do you feel any guilt?
I've had several serious relationships in my time. I've cheated on a few, I've been cheated on and I've been the person who was cheated with. And although it felt good in the moment, the aftermath always left me feeling shame. Because I knew I was better than that. Who can relate?
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I have cheated on My now Ex-girlfriend and got away with it obviously because it was a long-distance relationship. And I did it with my now ex-best friend (M) and I was 17 and I do feel guilty because it's not fair to cheat at all under any circumstances. I'm never doing it again and it never occurred to me that I'm doing anything wrong which is horrible. My heart goes out the people who are being cheated on I'm sorry.
In the Sunken Place
I met a beautiful young(er) woman online and we immediately hit it off.
In the time leading up to our first date, she was super excited about hanging out/fooling around with a "Dilf"/"Dad" (I'm single/no kids. I just look sad, old, and defeated), whereas I was super excited that I met someone beautiful/funny and that they were crazy excited to spend time with ME! (Shock, I know).
When we finally met, our hangout essentially dissolved into an affectionate, sloppy, naked, mess, to which my new "friend" decided to share that she had long-term BF/Fiance . -_-
At that point, my feeling could only be described as the sunken place from Get Out, where my psyche felt like it was sinking into a black hole of disappointment while I was watching my body/mind interact with this person.
I couldn't enjoy our time after that, and I felt numb to her affections. So the guilt was immediate. I think the feeling that I struggled with/ate away at me the most is knowing that the entire time leading up to this, I was upfront with my interests and intent (LTR) and that I spent all this emotional energy getting exciting/happy about meeting a potential partner, and then having to reconcile how everything was pretty much bull.
Eggs in the basket...
I was in a cycle of serial cheating for the majority of my dating life. I dated many, many people, but only one boyfriend ever found out about my infidelity (and promptly dumped me).
I compartmentalized every relationship and fooled myself into thinking I was doing it to avoid "putting all my eggs in one basket." In reality, it was because I never felt satisfied with the amount of validation and attention I received. I made impulse decisions and submerged myself into relationships, because self-introspection was too scary.
When I went off prozac two years ago, the truth of what I was and had been doing to myself and others hit me smack in the face. I was consumed by guilt and self-hatred and vowed to change my ways. I've kept that vow.
I currently have a serious boyfriend, and he is my first monogamous relationship. I'm in therapy, on appropriate medication, and have cut off toxic influences. I'm working through my traumas. I no longer talk to any of the people I cheated on, but I wish them the best.
Six Months In...
The affair was with me. She was an older married woman in her early 40's, and I was single and 27. We flirted for months in person and text, but I didn't think anything would come of it. Then it did for a year and a half. She tried to break it off twice out of guilt, and I completely understood, but within a week we were back in bed together. Third time was a charm, apparently.
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I wasn't the one who had an affair. She was the one that had an affair with me.
I had broken up with her officially but remained as friends with benefits. Our affair ended for good when she went public with her boyfriend now husband. I only found out later on how bad of a situation it was. Guilt? Yes, it ate me up for several years. I was unwillingly the other guy, Not once but twice, with two different women.
So it's not just me. I have to admit, I feel pangs of guilt now because... some of those stories are hot. They just are. That's why it's important to think about the consequences that will follow. For instance...
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Yes. Cheated once in my life. Was in the end of a long relationship that was to weak to end. So I cheated.
She didn't even notice even to I started to act weird. Didn't feel fair the either my SO or the person I was cheating on. So I ended the relationship and a couple of weeks later ended it with the person I cheated with. Kinda figured I needed to be single.
The guy was in a toxic relationship with a girl who pressured him to put a ring on her straight out of high school. She was an absolute witch to him and refused to get a job citing mental health issues while he was working his butt off trying to support the two of them.
I met him online and we hit it off really well. I knew enough about the situation with his fiancee to constantly pressure him to just cut it off with her.
He wouldn't cut it off but the two of us graduated to friends with benefits for awhile before toning it back down. I have 0 remorse for the affair.
Later I got married and a little after that he finally broke it off with his fiancee and moved in with a new girl who actually treats him like an equal. I'm happy with the outcome.
I Loved Her
I was 28. My girlfriend and I were long distance. She in TN, me in MA. I met a girl online and we talked. She ended up coming over 1 weekend and we had sex. I never told her I had a GF. She did have a BF. He found out and broke up with her after.
A week later I confessed to her. She stayed with me. 2 weeks later I broke up with her and broke her heart. For 8 years I was still in love with her.
I didn't want to date anyone else.
About 10 years or so ago I told her yet again that I was sorry for what happened. This was a decade after it happened. She forgave me.
I've never cheated on a relationship since.
But wait... it gets worse...
My brother in law is engaged and has three kids, he had three affairs, real messy when it came out, three times we had to take the kids to keep them safe, three times we had to support my sister, three times the police came out.
They're still together in an unhappy relationship, He had his affairs when working away from home... guess where he is now?
100% that guy doesn't feel guilty and is peed with us because we have denounced him as a family and refuse to let him into our homes after everything he's done, to my sister and his kids, and the poor girl he had the affair with.
if I told the full story, I'd have to stop thirty times to say 'but wait, it gets worse'
He had affairs during covid, one of his kids is extremely vulnerable, he wrote the girl love letters blaming my sister, he broke all his bail conditions stating he has to stay away from my sister, the affair only ended because the girl broke it off with him, he still continued to pursue, promising he can change, that he wants her... he's such a toxic person... theres so much more...
He 100% got away with it all.
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Someone I met up with was cheating on her husband with me.
I felt horrible for him as she was talking crapabout her husband. Like that's all my worth was to her was basically a "freak you" to him.
Cheaters never prosper, we've circled back. In the end, it's better to just be honest. Usually cheating is a red flag that means something bigger is wrong in the relationship. Start looking there. And remember... think first! Consequences abound.
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Why even bother being in a relationship? Seriously, if you're cheating something is wrong. So why not confront it and fix it or move on? Why do people choose to be cruel? And if cheating just "happens," then why not own up to it? If you run astray of your relationship, you're obviously not happy. Why be a sociopath by continuing to harm the people you profess to love? This isn't bitterness asking just curiosity.
Redditor u/santino_musi1 wanted to hear some confessions about straying by asking... People who cheated on their bf/gf/partner, what was going through your mind while doing it?
I've seen so many relationships go up in flames because of philandering. And the saddest part is, it all could've been avoided. Everyone else can see when it's not working, why are we so blind when we're the willing participants? I will admit, I have cheated more than once and I finally had to realize that I was never being fulfilled personally. And that was on me to fix. Some of the people on this chain feel that pain.
immediate regret. Issues with commitment, self esteem issues, etc. (They're probably cheating too, what if we break up and never find anyone, what if this persons actually "the one")
Obviously, load of horsecrap looking back at it, and I hurt a few people. Terrible terrible decision.
I get so Emotional...
I'd say I emotionally cheated on my ex. Mostly what was going through my mind was "Crap, I think I'm falling in love with someone else. Crap. What do I do? Crap."
You're not required to stay in love, just to treat your partner with respect while you're in a relationship (and, ideally, after as well).
The problem is when you're in love with one person, and infatuated with another. That is rough, because obviously you still love the first person... But infatuation is the new-car-smell part of a relationship, and even when you know it's short-lived, it's still very seductive.
The Home Wrecker
I was in one of the best relationships with a childhood friend, if you know, those are the best ones. We were both in our mid twenties and my brother was murdered, in front of me. It was insanely traumatic and it messed me up.
I fell into a deep pit where I would do anything to feel.. anything. My ex reached out to me and wanted to have sex, she is a straight up home wrecker and gets off on it.
I fell for it and didn't even question the decision. It didn't even feel like a decision, I was so messed up I was like a jellyfish in the waves just getting taken anywhere. But now I know it was a decision, and the worst one I've ever made.
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I didn't cheat but my ex gf did. She preferred my brother rather than me because he was good-looking. They're married now. I know it cuz my brother invited me to his wedding to be his best man. Forget that!!
"This person desires me."
I thought "This person desires me."
I think it's honestly that simple for most people who cheat. Sure many people cheat just because they want to have sex, but I think the core reason for most people cheating is they simply don't feel desired by their significant other.
Like the start of any relationship people become interested in each other and the key feeling people experience is that wonderful feeling of being desired by another person. It makes you feel good looking, smart, strong. Knowing that this person wants to be with me is one of the best feelings in the world.
After a while that wears off in many cases. Eventually you take the other person for granted and they take you for granted. When that happens and your SO stops making you feel desired, you might start looking for that elsewhere. So even though you are in love with your SO and have a great relationship, they probably don't act like they want to be with you like they did in the beginning. Life becomes the same old same old.
Then someone else notices you and starts paying attention to you, giving you that sense of being desired again. You start seeing what you have been missing in the eyes of someone else.
I know that's what it was like for me many many years ago. I stopped feeling desired and when someone else showed that desire towards me, I foolishly followed it.
I have been happily married and 100% faithful for a long time to an amazing woman. I never fail to make sure she knows how much I desire her. Not because I don't want her to cheat, I trust her. I do it because I don't want her to ever feel like she isn't desired, that I take her for granted. And she makes me feel the same, every day.
Oof, that is a whole bunch of mess to process and fix. First... clearly some humans are just trash and beyond repair. I pray that a lot of you realize that in the end, they did you a favor and you dodged a bullet. Heck, a hailstorm of bullets. Next time, just go in with your eyes wide open. Maybe some other people fared better...
I cheated because I was insecure and liked the validation that I got. It was a terrible ego-based decision that ended up hurting my partner terribly and making me feel even worse about myself. I have since quit drinking and worked on building self-esteem that is not dependent on my sexual attractiveness to the opposite sex.
When in HS
I was just out of high school and learning about relationships and sex. I went on a vacation and had an opportunity to have sex for the third time in my life with no way of my gf finding out, so I did it. I felt bad the whole time. When I came back, I broke up with her the next time I saw her. Cheating is certainly something I'll only do once. Still wish I'd never done it.
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Guilt, disgust and self loathing. Looking back I know I was in a toxic relationship and should have left him but cheating on him felt like a chunk of my soul was ripped out. Not worth it and will never do again.
Leave the Poison...
A friend of mine cheated because he was being physically and mentally abused by his girlfriend. He found someone who was patient, kind, and gentle with him that he just fell deep and cheated. Said he never knew someone could be this way with him. He did his ex a service and admitted everything and broke up with her, even though she already knew some way or another. Lots of fights, but he never touched her. He came out with a bloody lip and a black eye. He is now with the new girl and they've been together for 5 years, happy and planning on marrying.
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A friend of mine cheated on her long distance boyfriend for months, with a super attractive guy at our university. When the bf finally came to visit, everyone had to pretend they didn't know about the cheating, but we ALL did.
The bf found out eventually, of course. He texted me "is she cheating on me with this dude?" And I said "no comment" which was enough.
The crazy thing is that she TRULY believed she did nothing wrong. She told everyone that it didn't count because her boyfriend was her first love and that would never change, blah blah. Horrible to not have a shred of remorse.
Combine low self esteem with an alcohol problem, and an honest belief that everyone would cheat given opportunity. I thought cheating was just a way to prove "you can't hurt me." I'm ashamed of the people I've hurt in my life. I still haven't figured it all out yet, but I'm working with my therapist to become a better person.
At 18 (f) I started working in an industry dominated by men and the number of guys that tried to pick me up was astronomical.
Didn't seem to matter if they were married or not, or old enough to be my father. It really screwed with my trust in people, especially men. I honestly believed that everyone would cheat and some people were just sneakier. So if my partner was going to cheat I might as well too. I realized way too late that if everyone I hung around with was willing to cheat it meant I was hanging around the wrong people.
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My ex and i had troubles regarding my usage of a certain substance to calm your mind. at one point i was in a club with my then best friend (who also had a gf) and we both started dancing with these chicks.
the one i was dancing with took my hand and took me to the toilet to do whatever. i refused to even kiss her in that stall and left. i didn't tell her but it was on my mind all the time. i cheated on my ex 1 week later with 3 different girls when i was drunk and thought it'd be over anyways. when i woke up the next morning i remembered and it felt like a movie to me. had to break the news to her. never again.
Nothing. Maybe a sociopath answer but legitimately nothing. It wasn't this over arching fear like oooh I better stop or else, it was legitimately not thinking of anyone or anything else just, "I want to enjoy the moment" I mean as far as sex. Emotionally becoming invested in someone is a slow burn with a quick pop.
You don't realize how far you've strayed until it's too late. You're having fun, you're just enjoying conversations and talking and then the next thing you know you realize it's not with your significant other but with this other person.
The self realization is the killer.
Tit for Tat
I cheated on him because he cheated on me first. We had not broken up yet, but as far as i was concerned it was over. I wanted to cheat just to show him that he was vulnerable to being cheated on, regardless of how big his ego was. He thought he could do what he want while no one would ever dare do the same to him.
My soon to be ex cheated on me with the next door neighbor and subsequently ran off with him. She threw me away like a piece of trash (16 yrs together and 2 kids). I'm not angry (sarcasm). Anyway, I asked her "I understand the emotional feelings snuck up on you, but the first time you had physical contact, why didn't you stop and say, hey, this is not right?"
Her answer: "because it was fun."
And that, boys and girls, is why she's my soon-to-be-ex.
On a side note, I was thinking today that I feel sorry for her. Once a cheater always a cheater. They can never have a 100% trusting relationship because they both know that if things get tough the other person is perfectly capable of cheating on them. There will always be that tiny doubt in the back of their minds. Not a good foundation to build a relationship.
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Alcohol and horniness also i was and probably still am a bad person
Oh and opportunity.
My best friend cheated on his fiancee and when I asked him this same question, he told me that he was unhappy. He still didn't leave her and I know there's a lot of guilt there but, 2 years later, they are still together, not married, and have a kid.
I thought we had a "don't ask, don't tell" policy because we hadn't had sex with each other in years.
Turns out I was the only one who thought that.
The words seem absurd as I type them now. Who would have that deal without discussing it?
(Now I am in an open relationship, which is much more my style).
It was the least bad thing I could do.
My wife was completely dependent on me, but she was also a completely neglectful spouse. I tried all of the right ways to address the situation: books, therapist, good communication. I tried for years and years. She just had zero interest in my sexual needs but was utterly incapable of sustaining herself in any way if I left her and had no interest in changing that.
So I reached out for some physical comfort, knowing full well how wrong and bad it was. I never tried to justify it and say it was a good thing. I know I'm a crap human being and I don't know if I can live with myself if she found out because of the pain it would cause.
i know this isn't even the question but my ex literally cheated on me with my best friend and ironically he got cheated on with his best friend before so that was something.
Love can be a poison. So we need to be drinking more water. Moral of the story: If you're going to cheat... be decent and tell your partner it's not working. And that it's YOU, not them.
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I don't know if it's really a smart decision to wed the person you've been cheating with. The whole relationship is tainted from the jump. It all begins with scandal and lies, those are not promising ingredients in the beginning of a love story. But the "heart" wants what it wants. So who are we to judge? There has to be a bunch of great tales that discuss what happens when the forbidden aspect of your "relationship" just becomes... regular sex and marriage. Let's find out. How exciting.
Redditor u/Mexican_Tragedienne wanted to hear about some love stories that started off a tad scandalous by asking.... Married men of Reddit who got divorced to marry their lover, how did it turn out?
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My father left my mother when I was one for another woman. He married her a few years later. He and my mother only spoke well of each other, shared custody well, and generally it worked out pretty well for everyone. That was a lot less common at the time (I'm pushing 50 now). Both my mother and father have been remarried for more than 40 years now. They both talk about the dangers of getting married too young.
My dad had an affair when I was four. He divorced my mom and married the other woman. It only lasted 6 months before she divorced him and took half his stuff because he refused to give up split custody of the kids. Turns out she's done this type of thing at least twice before to other guys.
He then spent the next 12 years of his life going through other women, with relationships lasting less than a year at their longest. He lost his job, moved into a studio apartment, had another kid with a woman who then moved halfway across the country and took his custody rights.
But then last year he met a woman completely different from anyone he had dated before. They're married now and own a small organic farm in a small town. Him and my mother get along great and never argue. It's nice to see his story and realize that things are only crappy for a while. It may be a long while, but it will get better.
A New Attempt
This happened to my folks. Father left and attempted a relationship with his affair partner when I was a teen. It was short lived and volatile.
Old man left the country for a time. Eventually came back. Unfortunately, I think the series of choices left him quite depressed and he resorted to alcohol. He is in his late 60's and has remained alone.
On the plus side I think my mom's way happier on her own than she was in the marriage.
All the Women
My dad and mom married at 29 and 31. Has me shortly after.
Me at 5: Dad breaks up with mom and has baby with woman #2. Dad and mom reconcile and move back in together. Mom is accepting of new child.
Me at 10: Mom and dad still married. Woman #2 moves in with us. I catch dad making out with woman #3 (mother of childhood best friend)
Me at 15: Dad and mom divorce. Woman #2 leaves. Dad moves in with woman #4. She has son my age and daughter who is 17.
Me at 18: Woman #3 visits and dad has sexual relations with her. She leaves and is never seen again.
Me at 20: Dad marries woman #4. I can see he's hesitant about it.
Me at 21: Woman #4 runs away across country. Dad has child with woman #2 again. Moves in with her. She says child isn't his, he leaves her and starts living in RV. Child is definitely his.
Me at 22: Woman #4 returns. Lives in RV with him.
Me at 25: They buy home together. Woman #4 runs away again, never returns.
Me at 29: Woman #5 now introduced.
Me currently 30: Woman #5 moves in with dad.
All the while, my mom has remained single since I was 15 and is living with her sister to this day.
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My bio dad had an affair and left my mom to marry the other woman riiiiight before I was born.
Refused to pay child support or acknowledge me other than to tell my mom if she ever went after him for child support, he'd fight for full custody and would win since he was a newly married "Christian" man and my mom was a single army soldier. My mom remarried when I was a tween and that man is my Dad, the greatest Dad I must say.
She Too Much....
My uncle was a Christian minister married for 24 years when he cheated on her with his old high school girlfriend and they got divorced. The new wife has spent the last decade and a half trying to make up for her guilt. She is utterly convinced that the family resents her so she overcompensates for everything, so now no one likes her, but not because of the infidelity, but because she's freaking irritating.
As for my cheating uncle, well, he now has a joint couples Facebook page where his wife can see everything he posts. She's also his voice-box now. Apparently they're very happy though.
My soon to be ex-husband came home on a Wednesday and said he wanted a divorce. Packed a bag and left me with 5 children. I had been suspecting he was having an affair. He's with the woman now that i suspected. A coworker. Apparently, she also left her husband. It was hard but I'm so thankful she has to deal with his sorry butt now. The children and I are in a much better place.
You Single Right?
My dad cheated on his wife with my mom. My parents stayed together until I was 3, then split up, but reconciled a few years later, married, and stayed together until my dad died in 1990.
My grandpa married a pregnant woman (not his) who only wanted to get married so her baby would have a name. He was sent to England during WWII, and met a cute Scottish girl who became my grandma.
She was badly injured in a car accident years later, and Grandpa took up with the next door neighbor while Grandma was slowly (11 months) dying in the nursing home. When she died, he married the neighbor, who became the only grandma I knew.
So yeah, when I met my husband, I made damn sure he was really and truly single first.
A Family Mess
My mom left my Brothers dad (they were married) for his brother, had a baby with other brother, didn't last more than 6 mos, BUT my brother and sister are also cousins so there is that.... i also have a different dad who is unfortunately NOT related to the other 2 LOL.
Bro really?chris pratt dude GIFGiphy
My friend's brother cheated on his first wife and then married the other women, cheated on the second wife and then married THAT other women. Dude, maybe this whole marriage thing ain't your bag.
We all have suspicions and questions when it comes to the behavior of others. It's a natural part of the human psyche..... natural and crazy. You just have to temper the crazy. Hiring people to spy and follow others at your request can be a bit over the top, but, can also lead you to a treasure trove of information. You just have to be careful about opening that Pandora's Box.
Redditor u/edgeworth_ wanted to hear all the details about certain discoveries many people may or may not have been ready to know by asking.... Redditors who have hired a private investigator...what did you find out?
Google Itinvestigating basketball wives GIF by VH1Giphy
One of my jobs is to search for long lost relatives (usually several generations ago).
Typically, the case is about old plots of land where I should track down owners (or their heirs) to update the land registry because a state wants to build there something.
Let me tell you, the amount of information you can find on Google and in public records is astounding if you know where to look.
I had a girlfriend that worked for one for a while. She said that the majority of their work was insurance scams. She took a lot of pictures of guys who said they were hurt on the job playing golf and surfing and such.
There seems to be a lot of that in this thread.
Sometimes I wonder if I'd be able to pull off such a scam because any investigator would only be able to determine that after the 'accident' I didn't post my life on social media and I almost never engaged in strenuous activity outside the house... so no change there then.
My little brother hired one to find his dog. He was living in L.A. and his complex let the dog out on accident. Small dog some mutt of toy breeds. He looked on his own for two weeks and was devastated. My folks found this guy in Indiana who was like $3k to hire but he guaranteed he'd find the dog or he wouldn't get paid. My folks and I chipped in as my brother couldn't afford that. The guy found my brothers dog inside of a day. It was wild.
Brotherly Fundsmoney run GIF by Juan BillyGiphy
My dad hired a PI in the mid 90s in Eastern Europe to find out if one of his business partners was stealing from him. Instead he found out his own brother was stealing from him. He refused to belieev the PI and his brother robbed him blind. Took a huuuuuge amount of money and left him with gigantic debt. He still forgave him.
I was a private investigator for a little bit. Most work PIs do is searching financial/court records and serving documents. But one time I was paid by wealthy parents to stake out their college senior who had stopped returning their calls. They were worried about her. These parents paid like $40k for round the clock monitoring just to find out their daughter dropped out of school and was a full time ski bum.
Btw stakeouts are mostly just sitting in your car reading all day.
"you hurt her, you're dead"
Not me, but a friend hired one because he was suspicious his stepdad was being unfaithful to his mom. So, he asked me, and I put him in contact with a guy I knew.
Bit of a backstory, the stepdad is 5'10", 160ish pounds. My friend is 6'2" 235 pounds, ripped.
At 15, when my friend's mom and stepdad started dating, my friend gave the the typical "you hurt her, you're dead" speech. Also his bio dad walked out on him and his sister when my friend was like 4. It took a while, but my friend warmed up to the guy and he's a good guy (took my friend and I to an 49ers game once which was pretty cool).
Anyways, the PI said he wasn't cheating. Apparently there was a house on the market that my friend's mom wanted, and he bought it. He had been remodeling it for some time and he kept it a secret. As a 5-year anniversary gift to her, he bought it. Anyways, they live in a five-bed house now.
Had a babysitter we thought was stealing from us, luckily our neighbor was a PI couple and they ran a background check for $10. Babysitter had a string of DUIs and a few days before a large fine was due, my camera disappeared. He also stole money from my kids piggy banks.
He sort of disappeared but was also really into Instagram so I surreptitiously followed him.
He started babysitting again for a single mom (easy target) and posted a lot of 'fun' pics with this family. I tracked down the mom and sent her a long email detailing out his whole scam. She said we were right and it was clear he'd been stealing from her business.
He has since gone underground but I still Google him regularly to see what he's up to. He's been able to avoid arrests for a while now.
Fools....oh come on jim carrey GIFGiphy
I have a story about private investigators doing a hilariously crap job.
So, years ago, my brother injured his back at work because of his employer's unsafe work practices.
During the ensuing suit, my brother's lawyer was given a folder full of documents from the employer's team. Turns out, they had hired a PI to investigate my brother to prove that his injury was faked. Well, unfortunately, the PI had been taking pictures of ME, operating an ATV mounted leaf hopper. My brother walked into the court hearing and watched the color drain from the opposing lawyers' faces when he introduced himself, looking nothing like me.
My sister (mid 30s) is adopted and hired one to find her estranged biological father.
They came back saying that not only was he still alive and nearby, but he had a daughter. Meaning she also had a biological sibling!
Further digging from the PI uncovered that they weren't just similar ages either, they were exactly the same age. The evidence suggested that my sister had a twin and her birth father had taken the twin and vanished.
Huge, life-changing news.
Eventually, through more incredible detective work, the PI realized that the daughter was actually just my sister. There was no other sibling and they had just been investigating my sister the whole time accidentally. Needless to say, we asked for the money back.
The Widow ThiefDestroy Diary Of A Mad Black Woman GIF by BounceGiphy
My grandmothers first "boyfriend" after my grandfather died said he was a retired cop and a veteran.
They enjoyed dancing to country music together, and bought a new car, in her name though, even though she can't drive anymore.
My uncles hired a PI. Turns out, that old b**tard had a habit of shacking up with widows and bleeding them dry. (The boyfriend not the PI).