The Real Reasons People Cheated On Their Partner

A couple hold hands
Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

There are two groups of people in this world.

Those who believe in monogamy and those who don't.

People cheat. It's just the way some humans work.

If you're an avid soap opera fan, as I am, then you'll understand that infidelity is part of the package.


Redditor zabalansu wanted to know why we cheat, so they asked:

"Why did you cheat on your partner?"

I've cheated. Because I knew it was already over and I was too much a coward to admit it.

Bad Ideas

Tom And Jerry Reaction GIFGiphy

"I was drinking and doing a lot of drugs... it honestly turned me into a careless piece of crap for a long time!"

Keone_710

You First

"I cheated once, and it was because she'd cheated on me. I'd already been cheated on before so it was like: 'Well: this time I'm getting revenge.'"

"I didn't feel any better. Made me feel almost as shi**y as I thought she was. She was angry as f**k, but I can't honestly say it was any different than any of the other gals that get pissed off when you break up with them. Haven't cheated since."

"If you're getting cheated on, don't demean yourself by sinking to their level. Just give 'em the boot."

JAHNOOSKA

Craiglist People

"Because I truly had no idea what a healthy or functional relationship looked like. My parents were married for almost 30 years and had already started the cycle of cheating on each other well before I was born. My grandma used to tell me stories of being friends with my grandpa’s girlfriends 'because she just wasn’t toxic and jealous like other women.'"

"In the relationship where I cheated, I was being treated like garbage. Financially supporting us both even though I was ten years younger and a waitress, enduring a lot of abuse from a very broken man. I felt trapped in the same cycle I had watched my mom and my grandma live, I didn’t really know better."

"A guy at work started paying attention to me, and I loved it. He was sweet and poetic and romantic, committed to helping his sister raise his niece, was out of the house and working instead of drinking my paycheck away and punching holes in my walls. A little harmless work flirting quickly escalated and before I knew it, I was having a whole a** affair."

"I started to prepare myself to leave my boyfriend for my affair partner, when I found out that my boyfriend had been cheating on me with anyone he could find on Craigslist (including stealing money from me to pay sex workers). Any guilt I felt for cheating evaporated right then."

"I threw all my clothes in a trash bag and drove to my affair partners house, ready to start our new life together. He had another girl over, basically admitted that a lot of what he had said to me was because he thought I would never leave. All in all, it was a mess. If you’re unhappy in your relationship, do the work that will either fix it or get you out. That new person is flawed too. They won’t fix you or fulfill you, only you can do that."

BeebMommy

"forbade"

"Because my wife told me that she was no longer interested in having sex with me, she didn't want me having it with anyone else, and she 'forbade' me from watching porn (I still did the latter, but we could never discuss it or she'd freak out.)"

"So to get my sexual needs met by someone other than myself, for several years, a few times per year I paid a sex worker for a happy ending massage. This was still cheating, but I rationalized it as the 'mildest form' of cheating possible. No chance of an STI, no chance of an unwanted pregnancy, no emotional involvement. I knew it was wrong, but at the time I felt like it was my best choice out of several lousy choices."

"I realize now I should have just said at the time, 'I want a divorce.' That's where we ended up anyway, and I would have saved myself, my wife, and our kids some needless pain over the years. By cheating on her (and hiding it from her), I made it so much worse when she eventually found out."

"To cheaters on here, I would say: get out of your relationship. If you're cheating, you're clearly not happy. Do yourself and your partner a favor and just end it now, before it all goes to hell."

DivorcingGuy1234

The Worst

maury GIFGiphy

"Because I wasn't over my ex and when she came knocking I didn't value my new relationship enough and crossed a line I never will lower myself to cross again. You feel like sh*t for years after it, really not worth it no matter how you try to justify it to yourself at the time."

Secret_Guarantee_277

Getting over and getting under... all stressful options.

A Mess

Steve Harvey Reaction GIFGiphy

"Drunk and being hit on by a bendy yoga teacher. Got caught in the same day. It was a sh**show."

Top-Pin-3520

In the Dark Place

"I came here to try and understand what goes on in someone's head when this happens because I've been cheated on sexually and emotionally. Instead I'm just left feeling sorry for the people in this thread. So many people in such a dark place pulling their partners down to an equally dark place. I hope everyone here that has cheated has grow and gotten help. And that they can pursue a healthy and fulfilling relationship after they've grown past that."

"For the people that have been cheated on, I'm sorry all of you went through that and I hope it never happens again. Sometimes it feels like something I'll never fully recover from and other times I refuse to let past hurts ruin the chance of something good happening. So I want the people who have been hurt by their partners cheating to know just because it's happened once doesn't mean it will again and good things can still happen for you."

UmbraofDeath

Rear View

"Because I was too chicken s**t to get a divorce because I was wildly unhappy and too proud to go to therapy to fix the marriage. So I cheated, got caught, and have since been to a ton of therapy and am getting a divorce. Even though I’m happy to have this relationship in my rear view, cheating is my life’s biggest regret."

RecoverSexAddict

That's messed up...

"This was me a decade ago. It was just one time. I had somehow rationalized if I cheated he could then just hate me. That would hurt less than me telling him I didn't love him anymore and I wanted out. He was a good partner, but I fell out of love with him."

"The latter would've been the honorable thing to do. He was going to be hurt either way! I was just doing mental gymnastics to justify my reasoning - really I just liked the attention that I wasn't getting at home. That's messed up. I worked a lot on myself and go to therapy. I'm a much better partner now, and I haven't done it since."

Ok_Adhesiveness_4321

Worthless

Will Smith Smh GIF by The Academy AwardsGiphy

"Because she cheated on me first. I don’t ever recommend such a stupid f**king decision. It isn’t worth it, folks. I normally considered myself strong and stoic before that? I don’t have a foot to stand on now. It wasn’t worth it."

BBQSpareRibMoon

Bad Connections

"I felt an intimacy connection with someone which I’d never had before. In retrospect it’s one of the dumbest and stupidest things I ever could have done. It wasn’t at all worth what it has now become. I’ve lost my entire family and have no respect from the people that matter most to me. 10/10 would not recommend and would never do again. I lost it all for something that never even really mattered. I had it all in front of me, I just refused to see it."

WeCanWeWi11

Well, love isn't always forever and intimacy is something we work on every single day.

Do you have similar experiences to share? Let us know in the comments below.

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