Would they have regrets when they are older?
"[Serious] People over 50 that chose to be childfree, do you regret your decision? Why or why not?"
The following Redditors explained why they have no regrets in their decision to not have kids.
Lacking Parental Instinct
"I explain it to people like this - you know that feeling you get where you just can't wait to teach your kid how to play baseball? or whatever it is you want to share with them? I don't have that. Its basically a lack of parental instinct. Having children was never something I aspired to. My SO is the same way."
"Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against children. And I get really angry at people who harm them or mistreat them. I just never wanted my own."
– IBeTrippin
Better Off Without Them
"Yeah same, it took me years to really come to terms with this whole 'I completely lack a desire to have kids' thing. First i thought I would magically develop the desire when I got older, and then I thought I was broken in the head, and then I thought I needed to just 'talk myself into it,' or have a kid and hope the feeling came."
"But I'm in my mid-thirties now and still don't have ANY desire to have a child. People always ask 'why' I don't want kids. Like, I have 100 reasons why."
"But the most important reason is literally 'because I don't want them'. As in: 'I don't WANT them'. As in: it is simply not something I actively want. Why would I force myself to do something that I have no natural desire to do. Seems like a good way to mess up my life and some poor kids."
– PaganDreams
A Perfect Match
"No and I found a partner who feels the same. We are the cool aunt and uncle."
– laudinum
These people gave their affirmation that life is good without being a parent.
Words From A Septuagenarian
"I'm in my mid 70s and happily child-free."
– civex
The Good Life
"I'm 52 and I'm in bed watching the morning sky over the ocean with a mug of tea and a book. Quiet music and no one is demanding cereal or needs a diaper change or the car or to sleep in my bed."
"Later, I will walk around a museum without a stroller and a screaming, hungry, wet baby or a gloomy preteen. Yes, there would be times that the kids would behave, but what's the percentage? BI will cook for one, not one vegan, one who only eats chicken nuggets, and another who will burn water if I let them near a pot."
"I've never regretted my decision ever."
– Fredredphooey
Mixed Feelings
"I have mixed feelings. I don't care much for children and I think it would have been disastrous for us to have them. I was also able to retire at 52. Pretty sure that wouldn't have happened with kids. So yeah, absolutely the right decision."
"But I love my family and I do wonder what it would be like to have my own, to teach my child the things I know and not to be without someone who cares about me at the time of my death."
"But again, absolutely the right decision and at 55 I'm very happy NOT to have them. This is reinforced every time I'm exposed to other people's kids."
– ProfessorOzone
The "Wisdom Of Her Decision"
"57 years old and childless. I don't regret it at all. I sincerely believe that I would have been a piss-poor mother. I'm an extreme introvert, and seeing my sister with her sprogs clinging to her all the time, wanting something or other -- food, attention, a toy, whatever -- and calling to her, mommy mommy mommy, convinced me of the wisdom of my decision."
"If I had had children, I would have been driven to suicide or homicide in short order. My sister's kids are grown into wonderful young adults, and I love them to death, but I need lots of alone time to remain sane, and you don't get that with kids."
"If I'd had them, I might have become one of those horrid humans who feed their kids Benadryl to make them sleep, just for some peace and quiet. Childless is better for me."
– booboocita
These Redditors were indifferent about their views on parenthood.
Part-Time Parent
"I'm almost 50 so I'll chime in. I never wanted kids, just never had the urge. But I wound up helping raise my niece and nephew after their mom, my sister, died in a car accident when they were 7 and 5 respectively."
"I didn't have the full time, but split housing them on weekends while their father worked and his b*tcha** wife didn't want them around. I had them every other weekend and about half of each summer for years. They're now 21 and 19, so I wound up as more parent-ish than aunt."
"They were a handful so I'm glad I didn't have any of my own, it was exhausting enough being a part-time parent substitute and, of course, I wish their mom hadn't passed away."
"Full time parents, you're awesome, I couldn't do it. At least their dad gave me money for all the time I took care of them, sharing my sister's social security benefits so I could feed and clothe the kids and give them some fun activities and camps."
"I love the hell out of them, but still glad I didn't have babies of my own. They're good kids, I love them to death, but they've also broken my heart a fair few times acting up, making dumb decisions, but all kids do that. I'd beat the ass of anyone who messed with my niece and nephew."
– gambitgrl
An Uncertain Future
"My wife and I chose long ago not to have children, but always left it open for renegotiation. We're 40 now and feel absolutely no regrets about not having children. Still feels like the right choice for us. Hopefully, we'll still feel that way long into the future."
"Lots of folks ask us questions like, 'who will take care of you when you're old?' or 'what if something happens to your spouse?' No judgement, but to us, those have always felt like pretty selfish reasons to have children."
– lyingliar
Possible Regrets
"I don't necessarily regret not having them, but I regret the fact that I wasn't in a healthy enough relationship where I felt I COULD have children. I regret not being stronger to leave the abuse earlier, if I had been stronger, I think maybe I could have had the choice at least."
"So yeah... I have regrets."
– MerakiStudioMe
A Bonus
"No. I knew what I was getting into when I agreed to marry my husband. He had two sons from his first marriage and a vasectomy. He was worried because I was so young (comparatively, he's10 years older)."
"I did think it over seriously and concluded that a life with him compared to a life without him but (perhaps!) with a baby I didn't even have yet was what I wanted. It worked out for us, we've been together for 26 years. As a bonus I have 9 grandchildren. All the fun without the work of the raising!"
– ZubLor
Generally, the people who never wavered in their decision not to have kids early on seem to be happy.
And while some in the thread expressed concern about who would take care of them when they become elderly or widowed, it didn't seem to cause enough anxiety to have any regrets.
Because as someone mentioned, basing their decision to have kids just so they are taken care of is an unfair, and selfish, approach to parenthood.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
I think the Easter Bunny is my most shocking... "You actually believed that?!" I had to though, that's how I got the Cadbury eggs!
Proof
Animated GIFGiphy"I asked my parents how the bottles with the child-proof locks knew that it was a child trying to open them." ~ itsaanya
So Fancy
"For some reason my brother and I thought the smaller the salt and pepper shakers, the fancier the restaurant. McDonald's- big shakers, not fancy. I told this to a friend and he bought me some exceptionally tiny salt and pepper shakers when we moved to a new apartment to make my home as fancy as possible." ~ sensualsqueaky
The whole package.
"Once when I was two I climbed a chair and took my sister's meds. The whole package. Needed medical attention and everything. Growing up, my sister always told me that her medicine capsules were filled up with pepper. I hated pepper, so I wouldn't even touch it. I kinda wondered why she would need pepper everyday, but believed her nonetheless. To me, all capsules were pepper." ~ OphrysAlba
Twitching
"For a long time I had a weird superstition about twitches. When I'd be thinking about something and got a twitch on my right side I thought that was my subconscious giving me an affirmative answer. Left side was negative. It got to a point where I'd flat speak to it directly. Asking yes/no questions."
"But at some point it seemed to start messing with me. Always leading me astray. So, it flipped. left become yes, right became no. But it eventually figured that out and started freaking with me again. So it became a thing of trying to trick it, but eventually I just couldn't trust it either way and stopped listening." ~ Gr1pp717
"no exit"
Leaving Love You GIF by CBCGiphy"That "no exit" signs on certain streets meant that once you go down the street, you can never leave. Needless to say I had a full on meltdown when I found out the house we were moving into had a "no exit" sign on the street. I equated it to basically being imprisoned." ~ Horror_Lumpy
Kids, kids, kids... always question authority! Nobody told us that as quickly as they should. I'm sure that's part of the plot though.
BAHHHH!!
sheep eating GIFGiphy"Steel wool comes from sheep that graze in iron-rich pastures." ~ Back2Bach
The Large Hole
"I thought the Easter bunny lived in the sewer drain pipe next to the local gas station. My logic was that bunnies lived in holes, I thought the Easter bunny was human-sized (person in a rabbit costume) and thus needed an appropriately large hole to live in most of the year. The largest hole I knew was the drain pipe (the kind that looks a little cave in the steep grass area next to the road)."
"I thought it was the gas station one specifically because there was always candy wrapper trash thrown into that area. So essentially I thought of the Easter bunny as a homeless guy dressed up in a rabbit costume, bumming it in the gas station sewer." ~ sneakylilthang
Show me your teeth...
"It's not that I didn't believe in the tooth fairy, it's just that I thought I had a better plan. Instead of getting a dollar every time I lost a tooth, I decided to save all of my teeth and then cash them in for around $20. $1 couldn't buy anything, but $20 could buy a pretty cool toy. By the time I was old enough to have all my baby teeth, I was too old to believe in the tooth fairy and my parents refused to give me the money. So instead, I have a jar full of baby teeth." ~ NeedsMoreTuba
I Hear You
"I believed everyone could hear my thoughts. So I would try and regulate my thoughts in the presence of other people. Some coincidences used to happen that made me feel like it was all true (for example I would have a rude thought about a teacher and they would turn around and mad dog me, or I would have funny thoughts and randomly some person in my vicinity would start to laugh)."
"This went on from ages 9 to 15, and I didn't bother to speak to anyone about this because I assumed they would all lie to me anyway. I became a very paranoid person with a schizoid type personality." ~ Outrageous-Monk-6281
Just Walk
drunk GIFGiphy"Drinking and driving referred to all drinks. Used to be so scared when my parents had a soda or something." ~ Lameguy95
Drink all the soda you love. Just remember, sugar is not your friend. And have a good laugh at the person you used to be.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.