The Worst Things A Parent Can Say To Their Child
Reddit user under20letters asked: 'What is the worst thing a parent can say to their child?'
There is not one, correct way to parent.
After all, different children have different needs, and as a result some parents might need to adopt different methods so that their children can learn a lesson.
That being said, if there isn't one right way, there is definitely one wrong way, particularly regarding what some parents might say to their children.
Even though it might not seem like it at the time, all children take in and hear everything their parents tell them.
Some things parents say to their children might have lasting consequences, haunting them for the rest of their lives.
Redditor under20letters was curious to hear people considered the absolute worst thing parents could say to their children, leading them to ask:
Most Likely The Other Way Round
"I literally heard a mother say this to her child in the ER the other day."
"The kid was just talking to his mother about the usual stupid kid sh*t and she shouted 'YOURE RUINING MY LIFE! YOU OPENING YOUR MOUTH RIGHT NOW IS RUINING MY LIFE'."
"He put his head down and said sorry."
"My mom had her bad days but she never said sh*t like that to me."- PearlJamDudeVoice
Makes You Wonder Why They Did In The First Place
"If I could do my life over I'd never have had children."- FrogGob
Hurtful At Any Age
"'I feel like I have to love you because you're my child, but I don't like you at all'."
"My mom said this to me when I was 10 years old."- ATrulyTerriblePerson
So, So Wrong
"Saying that something is wrong with your brain."- Fit-Caterpillar-9729
It's What They Don't Say...
"Nothing, blaming them, not saying I’m proud of your or I love you."- FM_Apollyon
"Absolutely nothing."
"If you don't communicate, ask about their day, if you genuinely do not care about who they are as a person, it's just as damaging as saying the most hurtful things."
"So, if you really want to hurt someone, don't acknowledge them as a human being."- EeerrEeer
"Giving them the silent treatment over some offense (real or imagined)."- kenaisourdough
So Much For It Being The Thought That Counts
"Mine said to me when I was six years old: thanks for the [in school handmade diy] Christmas gift."
"'But you know we never use xyz, so this is useless'."
"'Why would you make that?'“
"Because I didn’t have a choice, and the teacher told us to?!"
"Can’t remember what it was, but this stuck with me."
"Been anxious about gifting them anything ever since."- SnicketyLemon875
As If They Know What That Is
"'Why can't you be normal?'"- Tail_Nom
Words Of Encouragement Are Not So Difficult
“'You just ruin everything'."
"'I hope you never find happiness'."
"'Hope your in-laws make you suffer'."
"'Hope your husband cheats on you'.”- Kindly-Try-7223
Where To Even Begin
"Take your pick, I heard all of these at various points during my childhood:"
"'I put my life on hold for (insert child's age) years for you/so you could exist'."
"From mom when she wanted something from me and I didn't immediately drop everything and come running."
"You don't live in a democracy, you live in a dictatorship, so you don't get a vote'."
"From mom at a young enough age that school hadn't gone over democracies and dicatorships yet, i was probably just trying to share an idea for plans or something."
"'You'd better quit backtalking me/being disrespectful'."
"When in the right during a disagreement with either."
"'Alright, put em up then' and 'you wanna take this outside?'"
"From dad who thinks challenging his 12-13 year old son to a fistfight is the way to deal with anger."
"I'm sure there's more that i haven't unrepressed yet."- kbyyru
And That Falls On Them...
"My parents had this saying: 'children are like pancakes the first one always fails'.”
"I’m the oldest of 2."
"At first I thought they meant it as a joke but after hearing that almost weekly for the past 18 years, I think they actually mean it."- thoyo3
And They're Probably Exhausted Of Not Being Loved.
"I'm so tired of pretending to love you."
"Not mine, read it in a similar post a while back but it stuck with me."
"I can't imagine the trust issues a kid would have hearing that said to them."- nenev
Blaming Them For Everything
"My mum said so much filth to me as a kid, as well as literally making me live in it."
"For better or for worse, til about age 11, I remember hardly anything, my brain has just completely deleted it all."
"But I'll always remember when she told me that she'll die soon from me and the stress I bring her."
"When she said this to me, I was already living my dad full time and only saw her one day a week after school and went home to my dad again in the evening."
"I wasn't even a bad kid, I was so quiet and could entertain myself."
"Little me didn't deserve to hear that."- THEgingerONEhasRISEN
Make no mistake, sometimes children need discipline and need to be spoken to sternly.
But scolding only works if it comes from a place of love.
As long as there's love, children will thrive, and any child who doesn't get the love they deserve is a deprived child.
People Share The Absolute Worst Reasons To Have A Baby
Reddit user callmevicious asked: 'What is the worst reason to have a baby? Why?'
Chances are you've heard phrases like "our little miracle" or "bundle of joy" or something in a similar vein.
Those phrases are usually used to refer to babies.
When someone really wants a baby, and has the financial means, emotional support, and maturity to raise said baby, then they should definitely have one. Bringing a life into this world, or taking care of a life that has no one else to care for them, is wonderful.
However, wanting (and being able to support and take care of) a baby is the only good reason to have one.
Not because you think it's what you're supposed to do, or you want to make your parents happy by giving them a grandchild, or because you think it'll keep your marriage together, or any number of other reasons people will give you.
Chances are you've probably also heard the saying "Every child deserves parents, but not all parents deserve children."
That can be very true if you have a child for any other reason than truly wanting one.
Redditors know this all too well and are ready to share what they think are the absolute worst reasons to have a baby.
It all started when Redditor callmevicious asked:
"What is the worst reason to have a baby? Why?"
Heal Me
"My dad had an incredibly f**ked up and traumatizing childhood. instead of dealing with his subsequent mental illnesses a person at his church told him to "have lots of kids, it will heal your trauma." so he had six and we ended up homeless at certain points and traumatized ourselves. idiot"
– No-Tailor5120
"To distract yourself from a traumatic experience (robbed at gun point)."
"A long time back, a coworker told me this after our conversation about what happened. She said it'd distract me .. then she said I was selfish for telling her that was a horrible idea."
– MissedPlacedSpoon
"A lot of people use children as a lackluster attempt at avoiding therapy, which is actually exactly when you shouldn't be having a child surprisingly enough. You want to bring a child into the world under the idea that you'll give them the best you can so they can be happy, not the other way around."
– GreasyPeter
Exposure
"To use it as a content on social media."
– Human-Independent999
"This is my baby, Beigeleigh! She's my favorite now that Roxynn is 2 and throws tantrums that don't fit my ✨aesthetic✨."
– CovfefeBoss
"Honestly though this happens."
"The one thing that comes to mind is a couple adopting a young kid from Indonesia (I think). They were well into the process when the adoption agency found them and saw that they had a social media presence where they gave updates to their followers on the process. The agency told them that they have a policy where within a year of adoption, the adopters are not permitted to post the child on social media or make any specific comments regarding the child."
"Instead of being reasonable people, they simply canceled the adoption process entirely. It truly is borderline evil, especially since they just wanted an adopted kid for clout and couldn’t wait a year."
– Ori_the_SG
Under Pressure
"Your parent(s) wanted grandkids."
– ninjamullet
"Ugh, my family would tell me that they'd pay for everything if I had a kid (money was my main reason I was waiting when I was younger)."
"I eventually had a kid and they haven't given me a f**king penny. Bunch of liars. My wife and I will jokingly bring it up when we see them. They always get embarrassed and change the subject."
– lovepig1337
"My mother: "I want grandkids!""
"Me: "you have 2 other children to ask""
– t0m0hawk
Scoring Points
"To compete with someone."
– Mobile_Prune_3207
"You get +5 Jesus points for every kid after the fourth one."
– unlockdestiny
"What prizes can you get with those points?"
– NoRJoke
"To save the relationship."
"It never works, it just drags an innocent baby into a miserable situation."
– eviehalboro
"This is more common than people think."
"I have to wonder if anyone, anywhere, EVER has actually improved a relationship by having a child."
"I'm sure some have managed to extend the life of a troubled relationship by adding a baby to the mix. But improving the relationship? Making it a relationship worth staying in?"
"I don't see that happening."
– callmevicious
If Everyone Else Jumped Off A Bridge...
"Because everyone else has one."
– justregularoleme
"This seems like the main reason for the people I know."
– emmiepemmie
Existing For Someone Else's Benefit
"To have an organ donor for later?"
– Fenfirae
"Unfortunately there are people out there with children with terminal illnesses that will purposely have more babies to see if they are donor matches for kidneys and bone marrow. I personally think it’s abuse."
– sunshinedaisies9-34
"Saviour Siblings! Like in My Sisters Keeper. Horrible indeed."
– p0tatoontherun
If At First, You Don't Succeed...
"Having a kid for a specific gender"
– Independent-Blood-10
"Seen a lot of this, like the TikTok trend "Our parents wanted a boy so we are 6 girls and no boy yet" Like wtf are you going to keep breeding until you hit it? Sounds like there will be a favorite kid in that family."
– Drkz98
Caregivers
"To be responsible for their disabled sibling in the future (yes, i had a friend tell me she wanted another child so that her disabled son would have someone when/if she passed away)."
– Natti07
"This is why my parents kept me. My parents tried to pressure me into not joining the military or flight school because who's gonna take care of my brother if something happens to me? My dad has said multiple times since I was like 5 or 6 that I'm gonna have to take care of him when they die. I love my brother, but I want my own life too..."
– idc_anymore-fml
Live Vicariously
"Using them to fulfill your childhood dreams (Forcing them to be into sports when you weren't, etc)."
– Joetueant
"This was my dad. I'll never forget going to my little brother's gender reveal sonogram and my dad said, "I'll finally have my football star!" My brother is 19 and has always been a nerd. My sister was the most athletic of all of us and she purposely injured herself in high school so he couldn't force her to be in sports anymore."
– T8795
"Pageant moms have all joined the chat."
– Stellathewizard
Awww, Adorable!
"Because you find them cute. They aren’t a pet."
– k-Musician8345
Alternate History
"To fix your relationship/marriage"
– GoodAlicia
"Well, it would have helped Henry the VIII."
– lekanly
"I think you have to specify a son in this situation, but yeah. Imagine if Catherine of Aragon had a son or two. Henry might just be a blip on the radar of English monarchs without all the fuss and bother of 6 wives, etc. But then we wouldn't have had Elizabeth I and that makes me a little sad."
– reduff
"Yeah he probably wouldn't have needed to create the church of England either"
– ThanksverymuchHutch
"Imagine an alternative history where the coin hit tails and Henry VIII got his son, suddenly Catholicism probably gets a century more to reign in England, maybe even stopping the 30 year war from ever happening."
– TheSwecurse
My head is spinning just thinking about all that!
A lot has been written about birth order among siblings and how it affects personality.
Not that everyone agrees on the effects.
Some say the oldest is the family rebel, while others say they're the ultimate conformist and rule follower.
Others assign those roles to the middle child.
But pretty much everyone agrees the youngest child is spoiled.
So does that mean an only child takes all those dynamics to form their personality?
The folks of Reddit sure has some thoughts on the matter.
Reddit user imlovegina asked:
"What is a dead giveaway that someone is an only child?"
Trust
"I told my boyfriend to close his eyes and open his mouth (I was surprising him with candy) and he just did it with no suspicion at all."
"People with siblings can’t trust like that."
- cowsofoblivion
Limited Pop Culture
"I’m an only child. One huge difference I see time and time again with those who have siblings—they had much more exposure to a longer timespan of media/music/games growing up. My idea of nostalgia consists of my specific timeline of media growing up, but those with siblings were able to watch tv shows their older brother watched, or knows about that game their little sister played."
- DopeYeti
"Yeah, the media you get is what your parents get for you. So PS2 was my only console since I requested one for my birthday and that's really it. Bigger families might have older siblings have older consoles, media, movies etc."
- Top_Lengthy
No "I'm Going to the Bathroom"
"I heard once only children are less likely to announce where they are going when they leave a room. Right away I realised I do that, but my partner who grew up with 2 sisters tells me where he’s about to go when he moves, even if it’s to the bathroom."
- NucularOrchid
"Now that im in my 30s I’ve trained myself to say where I’m going when I leave a room but it STILL feels so awkward when I do it."
"I also distinctly remember being confused in my first few relationships when people told me they were going to the restroom (okay?) and irritated when I would get up to go and they’d ask me where I’m going (like, we’re in a 1 b/r apartment and I’m not walking out the door, there are only so many options.)"
Anger is Fleeting
"My bf is an only child and it was his confusion at how I can be mad at my sister (who is also my roommate) one minute and turn around and get ice cream or go see a movie together."
He grew up with a bunch of cousins around his age, but it was the quick turnaround of 'I’m so mad at you' to 'I wanna hang out, let’s do something.'"
- sister-christian69
"Hypothesis: I think we don’t have practice of dealing with conflict. I had an argument with someone a few years back and I fully expected it to be awkward between us when we saw each other the next day, but she (not an only child) started chatting with me like everything was fine. I was taken aback and thought this would have lasted for much longer."
- RaspberryTurtle987
My Food is Mine
"My husband HATES sharing food! He is also very good at keeping himself entertained and busy- this was very evident during Covid when I was soooo bored and lost because all my previous hobbies and pastimes were outside the home and/or social activities, however, he just kept going and picked up so many new little hobbies that were independent"
- badjmsbe
"I have a brother and I hate sharing food as well. Some people say that having siblings can teach you to share things but, if anything, having a brother made me extra selfish."
- reforged-demon-blade
"I don’t hate sharing food…but I order food for me + me later fully expecting what I ordered to be there and my gf usually takes some. Drives me insane lol, and she knows if f**ks with my ADHD bc I will stare at the fridge thinking wait, when did I eat that?! Her after wondering what Im looking for: Sorry babe, I ate it."
- huhteeee
Siblings ≠ Friends
"Thinking friendship is like having siblings. It's not. I would never smash a toy on my friend's head and expect them to speak to me after."
- Useful_Jello2910
"I wouldn’t have teamed up with my best friends against their parents or refused to listen to their parents… but me and my sister? Like a two-man army in us vs. our parents battle"
- aw-f*ck
"Yep. Whenever my siblings and I would unionize, we were unstoppable."
- KitchenSwillForPigs
Not Expecting Snack Theft
"From personal experience, food habits. Like buying snacks to store at home and fully expecting them to not have been touched when you’re gone, or eating slower at the dinner table because you’re not fighting over the good food."
"As a teen, on the rare occasion my dad would steal a snack I got for myself I’d freak out, whereas my friends with siblings just resigned themselves to the fate of snacks inevitably disappearing. My mom eats super fast at meals, and she attributes it largely to growing up with siblings."
- HornedTwiddle
"I think this is why I get so peeved when my 14 year old eats all of something I specifically bought because I wanted it. I’ll share with him, but he’s a garbage disposal and will pound an entire bag/box/pack of something in no time, and I get so annoyed. My husband thinks I’m ridiculous but I never had to share or worry about someone else eating my things growing up haha"
- pizzainertia
Doesn't Automatically Shield Face
"No tales of sibling violence"
- ButterEmails54
"Doesn't flinch when someone makes a fist quickly"
- islandsimian
"Yesssss my boyfriend doesn't understand (not that he makes fist at me!!! Just that I flinch a lot.). Also don't throw things at me expecting me to catch it - my instinct is to shield my face."
- Bacon_Bitz
"Oh my god yes. Youngest child here, I also have twelve older cousins, and the amount of things I got thrown at me when I was too little to catch them."
- Dependent_Shower_584
Good At Self Entertaining
"Pretty good at keeping ourselves entertained or doing things alone/being independent."
- stefeezy
"And I find that most of us need alone time. I can be pretty sociable but it can get overwhelming quick. I need alone time every day or my stress levels rise to a point where I can't handle it. Even in a relationship, if we spend all day home, I must be able to do my thing while he does his thing. This has caused me issues in the past, as if I didn't care to be around my partner."
- thinksotoo
"Yup, this is one of the main ones. We are not lonely either, we enjoy our solitude (at least I do)"
- AlwaysSunnyDragRace
Better With Adults
"I can't tell for adults, but when it's one of my kids' friends, the kid who ends up trying to hang out with the adults and gets overwhelmed by being in a group of kids has been an only child 100% of the time in my experience."
- ifnotmewh0
"Yes! I teach middle school, and I can usually spot the only kids by seeing which students gravitate towards chatting with me rather than their peers during downtime. They seem more comfortable and confident just hanging out with the older person in the room."
- catsandcabsav
"I was one of these kids. I knew the adults didn't want me around. I had to choose between two uncomfortable situations, and I could handle being in the way more than the chaos with the other kids."
- needhelpweverything
Less Lonely
"From my own experience, not being as prone to loneliness. The only time I really feel lonely is when I'm around people I'd rather not be with."
- DeathSpiral321
"You can very quickly detect when you don’t fit in or are a third wheel too. Kind of sucks but it means you don’t waste your time with people either."
- Grimvold
"Exactly. My GF and I are only children. We both need a few nights a week on our own which is why we don’t live together. Even when we’re together we can sit quietly doing our own thing for considerable periods of time until we have something important to discuss."
- bjb13
Make Their Own Decisions
"I am an only child… I’ve noticed I tend to make a lot of life choices on my own and don’t seek out a lot of advice or ask for help when I could definitely use it. In fact, I’ve been pretty deep in tough situations when I finally have the realization that there are people and resources I can utilize. It’s not so much I’m worried about asking for help, more like it doesn’t even register in my brain that there is help outside of myself."
- Jaded_Syrup2454
"The inherent guilt of troubling people and asking for help."
- Lycan_Trophy
"I feel called out lol. Only child and this is such a common complaint I receive from my friends and partners, them saying I should ask for help for often. My logic is, well I have to learn it alone anyway. Their logic is, you don't have to right now."
"It's not something I can just turn off ... but I'm working on it. Some times. When I feel safe being vulnerable lol"
- MoodyBootyBoots
Choose Relationships Carefully
"They are very deliberate in their chosen relationships, e.g. friendships, partners, and are usually extremely independent, at least in my experience."
- ffffffffck
"As an only child I have to agree with the deliberation in my relationships."
"I've never used the term "friend" lightly like many people seem to. I see people all the time call others friends when they don't know much about the person and are just friendLY with them. I don't consider someone a friend until we've grown closer and I feel I can genuinely trust them and we can go to each other for help"
- Skeletor118
Quiet Roommates
"They’re very quiet roommates in my experience. Sometimes don’t even know when they’re home. I hypothesize that they’re just used to quiet spaces and might feel uncomfortable when their surroundings get loud or chaotic. People with siblings are used to other people clanging around and making noise."
- IcyConsideration4714
"Yeah I'm an only child of a single mom and spend enormous amounts of time home alone as a child. Can confirm, I'm extremely quiet."
- Yak-F*cker-5000
Unique Parent Relationships
"Really unique relationships with parents. They usually have a very rigid idea and perception their parents. For example, I have to call my mom every day or else she’ll worry, or my dad is always right about _____. I guess when you have siblings there’s more diversity in how you perceive your parents and their actions. But with only children they seem to lack that holistic perspective."
- ninaw11
"My ex was was exactly like the first example! She'd call her mom every morning and would talk a lot every day. It was pretty wholesome to me."
- RaimiKu
"This specifically. I live in a different continent than my parents and we talk every single day. They still ask for my opinion on every decision we take as a family and that has been my family dynamics as long as I can remember."
What trends have you noticed among the only-children you know?
Some people are not cut out to be parents. Some are adamant about not having kids.
But when life circumstances change and a baby is all of a sudden presented in front of a skeptic, there could be the possibility of a 180. Did anyone watch Waitress?
Miraculous change of heart aside, there are plenty of people who are just not at all the parenting type and are not cut out to look after the life of an infant to see it through to becoming an adult.
Curious to hear from strangers online, Redditor SafetySnorkel asked:
"What are some signs you should NOT become a parent?"
These are the wrong reasons for people to decided to have kids.
Feeling The Pressure
"If you're doing it just because everyone else is."
– EllsyP0
"On top of that, if your religion really pushes for it, it's okay to say no thanks. Yes, children will bring great joy and blessings into your life, but uh, I like having free time. And if I think I'll be a bad parent, then why chance it?"
– stealth57
The Wrong Backup Plan
"if you do it in the hopes of 'saving' or 'advancing' your relationship, or if you wish to 'compensate' for perceived lack of personal achievements."
– Comprehensive_Day511
It's Teamwork
"Want to exacerbate the bad things in your relationship? Put a baby in the middle of it. If you weren't getting along before, you sure as sh*t aren't going to get a long better on half as much sleep and quadruple the stress."
– SeeYouOn16
Mental and emotional well-being were mentioned as a prerequisite to parenting.
First Things First
"If you can't look after yourself first."
– whetstonereek
"This is the most important one. You will have a hard time caring for someone else if you are struggeling with life yourself."
– MyNameIsMikeAswell
No Regrets
"In my 50s and life has been a roller-coaster. One thing which can cheer me up a bit when I’m at the lows is remembering: At leadt I don’t have any kids. They would be messed up and angry and it’s likely I’d be facing charges for neglect."
– LanceFree
If your fit the following descriptions, you're definitely not a parent-person.
The Wrong Approach To Raising Kids
"You view your child as a mould in which you can shape, alter, and control, pinning all of your failed aspirations and ambitions on them and forcing them to be something they are not."
"Rather than acknowledging your role as a guide, motivator, and a pillar of support to help them discover and forge their own identity and loving them even more because of it."
– SublimeVibe
Mind Is Made Up
"Not wanting kids."
– W-S_Wannabe
"I’ll take it further:"
"If you aren’t 100% sure that you want kids, and aren’t willing to sacrifice most of your life to do so, even if they end up being special needs or difficult, then you shouldn’t have them."
– justwalkingalonghere
Thinking About A Kid's Perspective
"I tell people this all the time. You need to really want to have kids. It’s hard to be a good parent even if you want them, if you don’t want them it’s impossible. It’s not fair to the children to bring them into this world without parents that are motivated to parent them."
– Salt_peanuts
This can breed resentment once a child becomes an adult.
A Caution
"If you’re thinking of having kids so they can be your retirement plan then please. Don’t."
– Pizzawithchickensoup
"Dealing with this right now with my in-laws. Damn glad husband has a spine though, but it's sad to hear the repeating arguments over and over again."
– kindadeadly
Discussing The Future
"Point blank told my dad to pick out his own nursing home and caregiving services when he retired so we would have a plan when he starts eventually declining. 'We are your daughters, not your caretakers.'"
– acc6494
The best barometer I've had indicating that I'm not capable of being a good parent is my gut reaction to kid tantrums in public.
I often see parents being paralyzed when a child is screaming at the top of their tiny lungs and are too afraid to deescalate the distressing situation for fear of being judged by others.
If you spank them, that's abuse. If you yell at them, you're an unfit parent. If you ignore the circumstances hoping the child would calm down on its own, you don't have a backbone and are regarded as a coward.
I've heard all three judgments mumbled by others who are watching. And I would definitely commit one of my reactions to a wailing kid in a grocery store with all eyes on me.
The fact that I'm too concerned about my disciplinary response, or lack thereof, and what people will think of me instead is a good indication that I still make it all about me.
Yeah, I'm not parenting material, and I'm not ashamed to admit it.
There are very few people who haven't found themselves frustrated with their parents at one point in their life.
Whether it be for something they said, did or didn't say or do, sometimes we've found ourselves needing to vent to a friend, or scream into a pillow to let out our frustrations.
For most people, this anger is short-lived, as deep down they still love their parents and will always find a way to forgive them.
Some people, however, have a harder time forgiving their parents for certain actions, and even take the drastic step of cutting them out of their lives entirely.
"What did *that* parent do that ended your relationship with them?"
Lies and Theft.
"My mother often said, 'your sorry daddy never cared enough about you to pay child support', but I found out later, he had money order receipts."
"He was a career Navy man so he'd have been forced to pay."
"She stole two of my paychecks when I was a single mother, signing them over to herself in her sweeping left handwriting, I'm right-handed."
"The final thing that made her my EX-mom was when she let two drug addicted so-called caregivers steal liquid morphine which was meant for her dying fourth husband."
"He died in miserable pain at home without relief."
"She disowned my adult sister, who confronted her about it."
"Mom always said, 'I can stand anything except a liar or a thief', but she was both."- Grattytood
Ignorance And Abuse
"A few years later she got cancer, I let her back into my life, I invited her to my wedding, where she spent the entire day talking about how it was a shame I couldn’t lose more weight in time and insulting every aspect of the wedding quietly to my now-MIL who had helped with everything."
"I sat her down a few days later (she was staying at my house as the wedding was far from her home) and asked for the comments about my weight to stop."
"I used all the language I learned in therapy, explaining how it made me feel, trying to not be accusatory but instead cooperative."
"She started scream crying and ran out of the room."
"I left to stay with my in laws."
"I haven’t seen her since."
"She won’t be meeting the baby I’m pregnant with and when she dies, I won’t be attending the funeral."- jonathantavares
Health And Safety At Risk
"Well the last straw was when my father convinced my grandparents to get me kicked out of their house while I was finishing up university by telling them that the hookah I was partaking in every few weeks was an illegal drug."
"During finals which was pretty fun."
"Oh and the part where he told me he hoped I died by getting in a motorcycle crash."
"Followed by weeks of incessant voice-mails of him drunkenly threatening me wanting to meet up for a fight."
"There was also that time he beat the sh*t out of me when I stood up for my mom during one of his drunken rages at a camping trip."
"Oh and who can forget that one time he left me a voice-mail telling me 'this is your fault' and then shooting his gun into the air making it seem he had just offed himself."
"But it was just a manipulation tactic."
"That was a fun one."
"Nothing like some childhood trauma to make someone grow up quickly."
"For anyone wondering, yes, I did use this as a role model of what not to be as I got older.'
"I haven't spoken with pretty much any of my family except my mother for the last decade."
"I'm in a loving relationship now getting married this year and do not plan on having any children."
"My dad's last name dies with me."- Walkman1080i
Actions Have Consequences
"Dad left us when I was super young, like 2."
"Mom remarried (another abusive a**hole) and dad would come around sporadically."
"When I was 12 I saw him once then he left and didn’t see him again for decades."
"About 13 years ago I stumbled upon him in the state prison system database across the country, made contact, he seemed to be changed."
"He was old, previously meth addicted, lots of chronic health sh*t."
"I bought him a prepaid cell to keep in touch."
"He went back to the streets but stayed clean."
"Eventually moved in with some random long lost family member."
"We kept in touch by phone, I helped him get some of his health sh*t figured out."
"We were cordial."
"I got pregnant unexpectedly, it was in the 5 year plan but not the right now plan but whatever, here we are, no reason not to do this thing other than lack of mental preparedness."
"So. I go through this pregnancy, it was horrible in every way, physically uncomfortable, illness, bed rest, all the sh*t."
"He called me one day and told me he was going to go to the beach to celebrate his 20 year anniversary of moving to the coast."
"He’d never let himself enjoy the beach before and today was that day."
"What I heard was that he was going to the beach to celebrate the 20 year anniversary of abandoning his child, me."
"And I had these kids in my belly that I sometimes didn’t want, didn’t plan for, but would’ve murdered for and I didn’t even know who they were, didn’t know if they were boys or girls, no names, no personalities, just feet in my ribs and pelvis constantly, and yet I would have died for them."
"And this motherf*cker is celebrating the day he left me.'
"I never called him again, my kids are almost 10."
"He’s called me plenty, I don’t answer."
"I reply in text at times, briefly."
"I’ve sent Christmas cards to the family member he stays with and to him with pictures and I’ve politely explained the above and he just doesn’t get it."- tobmom
Weren't There When They Were Needed The Most
"Long story short."
"My brother got shot and was in ICU for a month."
"My brother's condition went south and my parents were MIA."
"A decision needed to be made wether or not we pull the plug."
"That decision fell on me."
"At 24, I had to make that choice with no parents in sight and I decided to pull the plug."- Soul_Traitor
A Little Kindness Goes A Long Way
"Oddly, she showed me she was capable of being kind- however disingenuous."
"She just wasn’t capable of being kind to me."- Evening_Run_1595
No Interest In Staying Cordial
"After a childhood ripe with physical, emotional and psychological abuse followed by limited contact through my 20’s, I finally decided to confront my mother."
"She agreed to go to therapy with me."
"A couple days later she started asking questions about the cost to which I said I’d pay."
"A couple days after that she was asking about how often we had to go."
"A couple days after that she said she didn’t want to go because I’d 'expose her'.”
"I was then told that the abuse I endured was my fault because I had given up on being a good son."
"This all happened 4 years ago and I went no contact immediately after."
"My life has gotten better since then."- PewpyDewpdyPantz
Sent Family Down The Wrong Path
"My mom introduced my older brother to heroin."
"He passed away early last year from an overdose."
"I don’t think I can ever forgive her for taking the only family I’ve ever really cared about away from me."- bulbsaur_is_best
Cutting someone from your life is a drastic decision that should be considered very carefully.
Sometimes though, however difficult it may seem, it is not only the right decision, but the only decision.
Especially when your mental and physical well-being are at risk.