Adult Couples Reveal How Often They Actually Have Sex

Adult Couples Reveal How Often They Actually Have Sex
Photo by We-Vibe Toys on Unsplash

There is this lifelong theory we all have been conditioned to believe when it comes to relationships.

When in a loving relationship, you get sex 24/7.

We have a built-in partner, so how could it not be true?

Sorry, folks. That was a lie.

Well, at least for the most part.

Redditor maileykaye wanted to know if the couples out there were willing to fess up, so they asked:

"Adults of Reddit, how often do you actually have sex?"

In my last relationship, it was about once... every six months.

Bad sign.

Now and Then

Cool Down Golden Girls GIFGiphy

"Once a week ish. We’re on our 50s I figure we’re doing fine."


"Ditto. Once every week, in our 50s. Occasionally twice, and honestly it’s harder for him to recover than for me. And we’re happy with this!"


Markets and Markets

"Depends tbh, sometimes 3 plus times, other weeks 0."


"Absolutely this. It’s just the way of nature. There are sex bull markets and sex bear markets."

"With my wife and I, our worst bear market was pretty much all the way through her pregnancy with our third child. At the time, we also had a 2 and 3-year-old, and I was working and taking my master's degree. I think we pretty much went a year without, which to be fair was partly a Maslow’s hierarchy dynamic because we were surviving."

"The other part was by the third, at least for me, I found it more difficult to see her as a sexual being during the pregnancy. And by number 3, you have the experience/knowledge from number 2 without the magic that comes with number 1. So for the first time, you are taking a clear and sober look at the real situation you’re in."


Here & There

"We are 31 and 32, together for twelve years. I find him hotter then ever and i tell him so much that I am scared he will sue me for sexual harassment."

"Still we have sex about once a week with a little oral action here and there. We work a lot and have hobbies in the evening and sometimes we just like to cuddle or spend time together lazily."


"Same here, but sometimes my depression gets the best of me and messes my sex drive."



"This is one of the worst parts of being widowed. Oh, how I loved knowing I could have sex whenever I wanted! My husband was an airline pilot and sometimes I tagged along on his trips just so we could have hotel sex, beach sex, etc. Then he was gone, and for the past 16 years it’s been sporadic at best."

"I am not a fan of casual sex (no judgment) - I’ve tried it and turns out I cannot turn my emotions off, so it causes more problems than it solved. All y’all Redditors who have partners you don’t do it on a regular basis - you have no idea what I would give to be you. Get in there and take one for the team while you can."


Uh-Oh Dude

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"My wife and I were trying for a baby, and so pretty much every other day. Now that she’s 5 months pregnant, I forgot how to have sex."


"Dude, get it while you can, even now while she’s pregnant. You’re gonna be deprived, interrupted, and c**k-blocked by that kid so often it’s not even funny."


Numbers Hurt

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"New girlfriend in college - 41 times in one month."

"Married over 20 years, couple times per year."


The Mystery

"After 10 years of marriage I can say, it fluctuates. Some months it’s every other day. Other times we will go 3 months without. The female libido is a mystery."


"There’s a great book called 'Come As You Are' by Emily Nagoski that touches on this subject. It helped me understand myself more and that I wasn’t 'broken' like I thought I was. Definitely helped me understand my sexual preferences, and now my partner and I do it way more often than we used to. I definitely recommend if you ever think your preferences are an issue."



"Married 22 years. 3 to 4 times a week on average. Some weeks more…some weeks less. We still have a great sex life. I adore the pants off her!"


"Finally. My wife and I are probably more like 2-3 a week, but all these people in here not banging their wives ever or once a year were really bumming me out."


"Married 6 years and yeah we average 3-4. Honestly my depression affects my libido the most. Some good weeks is everyday. Depressing to see that we are in the minority. (pun intended)..."


Always ready...

"My spouse and I have been married 5, together 10 years. It was for about 6-7 years every single day, on weekends more. The last few it’s more like 3-5 times a week with the occasional dry spell of 5 days or so for illness or injury. I am pregnant right now with our first, and we’re still getting down. I’ll tell you why though. My husband makes sure I orgasm before any penetration every single time. So I’m always game."


A little more please...

"About once a week. Married for about 3 years. My sex drive is higher than my husband’s, I’d be happier doing it a few times a week but it never happens anymore."


I'm flustered and depressed.

Let's make more love.

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