There is this lifelong theory we all have been conditioned to believe when it comes to relationships.
When in a loving relationship, you get sex 24/7.
We have a built-in partner, so how could it not be true?
Sorry, folks. That was a lie.
Well, at least for the most part.
Redditor maileykaye wanted to know if the couples out there were willing to fess up, so they asked:
"Adults of Reddit, how often do you actually have sex?"
In my last relationship, it was about once... every six months.
Bad sign.
Now and Then
Cool Down Golden Girls GIFGiphy"Once a week ish. We’re on our 50s I figure we’re doing fine."
DogsAreOurFriends
"Ditto. Once every week, in our 50s. Occasionally twice, and honestly it’s harder for him to recover than for me. And we’re happy with this!"
stuck_behind_a_truck
Markets and Markets
"Depends tbh, sometimes 3 plus times, other weeks 0."
hollywoodwh*re6969
"Absolutely this. It’s just the way of nature. There are sex bull markets and sex bear markets."
"With my wife and I, our worst bear market was pretty much all the way through her pregnancy with our third child. At the time, we also had a 2 and 3-year-old, and I was working and taking my master's degree. I think we pretty much went a year without, which to be fair was partly a Maslow’s hierarchy dynamic because we were surviving."
"The other part was by the third, at least for me, I found it more difficult to see her as a sexual being during the pregnancy. And by number 3, you have the experience/knowledge from number 2 without the magic that comes with number 1. So for the first time, you are taking a clear and sober look at the real situation you’re in."
TheTruist1
Here & There
"We are 31 and 32, together for twelve years. I find him hotter then ever and i tell him so much that I am scared he will sue me for sexual harassment."
"Still we have sex about once a week with a little oral action here and there. We work a lot and have hobbies in the evening and sometimes we just like to cuddle or spend time together lazily."
BecciButton
"Same here, but sometimes my depression gets the best of me and messes my sex drive."
Low_Excitement_5339
After...
"This is one of the worst parts of being widowed. Oh, how I loved knowing I could have sex whenever I wanted! My husband was an airline pilot and sometimes I tagged along on his trips just so we could have hotel sex, beach sex, etc. Then he was gone, and for the past 16 years it’s been sporadic at best."
"I am not a fan of casual sex (no judgment) - I’ve tried it and turns out I cannot turn my emotions off, so it causes more problems than it solved. All y’all Redditors who have partners you don’t do it on a regular basis - you have no idea what I would give to be you. Get in there and take one for the team while you can."
Mollysmom1972
Uh-Oh Dude
Lifetimetv Falling Asleep GIFGiphy"My wife and I were trying for a baby, and so pretty much every other day. Now that she’s 5 months pregnant, I forgot how to have sex."
TenToeTarantula
"Dude, get it while you can, even now while she’s pregnant. You’re gonna be deprived, interrupted, and c**k-blocked by that kid so often it’s not even funny."
Delta7391
Numbers Hurt
Think Give Up GIF by Boomerang OfficialGiphy"New girlfriend in college - 41 times in one month."
"Married over 20 years, couple times per year."
qawsedrf12
The Mystery
"After 10 years of marriage I can say, it fluctuates. Some months it’s every other day. Other times we will go 3 months without. The female libido is a mystery."
truci
"There’s a great book called 'Come As You Are' by Emily Nagoski that touches on this subject. It helped me understand myself more and that I wasn’t 'broken' like I thought I was. Definitely helped me understand my sexual preferences, and now my partner and I do it way more often than we used to. I definitely recommend if you ever think your preferences are an issue."
crinklycuts
Averages
"Married 22 years. 3 to 4 times a week on average. Some weeks more…some weeks less. We still have a great sex life. I adore the pants off her!"
bigbadclifford
"Finally. My wife and I are probably more like 2-3 a week, but all these people in here not banging their wives ever or once a year were really bumming me out."
thosetwo
"Married 6 years and yeah we average 3-4. Honestly my depression affects my libido the most. Some good weeks is everyday. Depressing to see that we are in the minority. (pun intended)..."
MrLinch
Always ready...
"My spouse and I have been married 5, together 10 years. It was for about 6-7 years every single day, on weekends more. The last few it’s more like 3-5 times a week with the occasional dry spell of 5 days or so for illness or injury. I am pregnant right now with our first, and we’re still getting down. I’ll tell you why though. My husband makes sure I orgasm before any penetration every single time. So I’m always game."
PM_ME_IRONIC_
A little more please...
"About once a week. Married for about 3 years. My sex drive is higher than my husband’s, I’d be happier doing it a few times a week but it never happens anymore."
MoneyAd0618
I'm flustered and depressed.
Let's make more love.
- Married People Explain How They Tactfully Initiate Sex With Their Partner ›
- Sex Therapists Reveal What They Wish More People Knew About Intimacy ›
- Married People Explain How They Tactfully Initiate Sex With Their Partner ›
- Married Couples Explain How They Turn Down Sex Without Offending Their Partner ›
Curious to hear from strangers online about their developmental growth, Redditor 1234kyou_ asked:
"What did you swear in your childhood you would never do, but ended up doing anyways?"
Some hobbies that delighted us as kids never really go away as these Redditors have experienced.
The "Bird Creep"
"Birdwatching. I used to think it was the lamest way someone could spend their time when I was a kid. How could anyone just sit around and look at birds? What are you, some kind of bird creep? ... 20 years later and I'm obsessed with birds. Love hearing their songs and seeing all the beautiful colors."
– Koala-teas
Unfilled Dream
"Give up drawing."
"I actually broke my own heart when I recently found a school project we did back when I was a kid. We had to write a letter for our future selves and mine starts with: 'Hey, did you become an artist already? I really hope you did not become a boring adult with a boring job who gave up on his dreams and passions.'"
"Well, sorry little me, but I kinda did."
– Aesma_
Tending To One's Garden
"Gardening. We had a large garden. We raised and preserved what we grew. It was me and my sister's job to care for this garden. This was back when whipping your child was acceptable punishment. I was whipped sooo many times, because I hated that I had to grew and preserved vegetables I did not like. I hated it! Swore I'd never have a garden. Never do THAT to my kids. Then I had kids. A switch flipped in my head. I had to have a garden! I never made my kids take care of it. Gardening was my 'me' time. But being little kids, they wanted to be with mom and 'help' with the garden. I 'gave' them an area and they were allowed to grow whatever they wanted. If it was a fruit or vegetables , they had to eat it. As a result, they both love gardening and neither are picky eaters."
– Eogh21
When it comes to keeping it in the family, it's not always the goal.
Like Father...
"I have become my father."
– jer1303
Like Mother...
"I have become my mom.... even the voice is similar."
– rogue1206
Dad's Cynicism
"I've taken on a lot more of my dad's cynicism than I would like, but mostly I have my mom's wonder and carefreeness."
"But my dad is rich and mom is poor."
"He does not share the wealth he just shares 'you should've done X like this'. But his advice is the level of 'tear down the sign punch them in the face and say you're looking at your new employee'. I've also never heard a single dad joke from him."
– BugTester350
Posthumous Disapproval
"When I was touring houses to buy before the pandemic, my mother's spirit must have possessed me because I opened my mouth and her voice said 'i don't know, i don't think I could live in a house without both a coat closet and a linen closet.'"
– TJtherock
Adulting is hard.
The Financial Hole
"Get into debt I can't pay off."
– lilviviv
Potty-Mouth
"I said I wouldn’t curse unless a nuke was dropped on my house. That was a f'king lie."
– -notjosh-
Can't Wait, Don't Hate
"Have sex before marriage. Thank f'k I never made good on that one since I'm 41 and have never been married."
– squid1891
I'm a pretty fussy eater. Always have been.
I grew up in a Japanese family where regularly eating natto was a thing.
Natto is a Japanese dish made from Bacillus subtilis-fermented soybeans. It's known to have magical health benefits but the smell is overwhelmingly powerful, and the nutty taste leaves little to be desired.
Many people not used to eating exotic foods can't stand the flavor and slimy, sticky texture–let alone the pungent aroma.
I swore as a child that would be the one food I would never eat again after having a bad experience.
And yet, here I am as an adult, eating it for breakfast 2-3 times a week after truly understanding the health benefits.
Natto–which is rich in protein, vitamins, and minerals– helps maintain healthy cholesterol levels, reduces blood pressure, and can prevent heart disease. Some studies have suggested it can prevent certain cancers.
Once I trained myself to get used to flavor and smell, I actually crave it now.
It's definitely an acquired taste, but it's crazy to know that we are all capable of liking or appreciating something previously thought of as repulsive once we set our mind to it.
"Hiring managers of Reddit: What makes you immediately throw out a résumé?"
Not In It For The Long Run
"I once received an application from a man in his 60s."
"Solid CV, lots of experience."
"In his cover letter he wrote 'I'm applying because the Job Centre asked me to'."
"Please note that I intend to retire in 6 months time'."
"We had a good laugh, then sent him a very polite rejection letter and wished him a great retirement."-BeerPoweredNonsense
Season 1 Lol GIF by NBCGiphyMake Sure They Actually Get The Right Document...
"One time I had someone upload how to upload their resume from Dropbox instead of their resume."- rabidwhale
Always Proof Read!
"I'll usually still interview unless there is no relevant experience, but I've seen some atrocious resumes."
"I've seen people use crutch words like 'uh' in writing for a job description."
"I've also seen a sentence 4 lines long with zero punctuation."
"The same resume will have 'attention to detail' as a skill set."
"I've interviewed for one of those resumes, and the applicant said 'I dunno" to about 80% of my questions, and it turned out he didn't even know what job he applied for'."
"It's not that I'm overly picky, but if someone can't spend the 20 minutes or less that it takes to proof read their resume, are they going to put a lot of effort into their job?"
"Maybe, but it's hard to know."- ChristyM4ck
Read Book Club GIFMake Sure It's Legible
"The only time I have ever had to throw out a resume was because someone possibly had it in a bag with their lunch and the paper was soaking wet and dissolving as I tried to unfold it."
"It was just unacceptable to process."
"The application was left in a drop box so I don’t know if it was a prank or an actual applicant."- 416unknown
Unprofessional Email Address
"Back in 98 I asked a new group of hires at GIECO to write their email addresses on a list that was passed around."
"Remember email was kinda new back then.. "
"One young female employee's email address included 'mybaldc**tchie'."- catjugglinpimp
the messengers aol GIFNever Send Someone In Your Place
"It’s been a long time but I used to do hiring for a cinema."
"Staff were often young, for many it was a first job, making popcorn and selling tickets type of gig."
"I would not pursue anything where parents came in with a CV for their teenager or if parents were contacting me on behalf of their teen."
"Big red flag."
"Either their kid didn’t want he job in the first place or they’re incapable of taking initiative and it doesn’t bode well for how they’d be as an employee."- FigJamAndCitrus
"Having your parents submit your resume while you stand silently beside them."- krim2182
It's Pure, Dumb Luck!
"I remember a meme or maybe a tv skit from a while back."
"The hiring manager had a huge pile of resumes on his desk."
"Someone asked how he was going to sift through them all."
"He took 2/3rds of the pile, threw them in the trash, and remarked 'I don't hire unlucky people'."
"Lol."- SpecialSpite7115
Im Out Breaking News GIF by Homes.comGiphyAll About The Formatting
"This doesn’t matter 100% of the time but bad formatting."
"If it’s hard to read I probably won’t read it."- Far-Gain-3081
Depends On The Job
"If it's a professional position, significant spelling errors will make me pass on a resume."
"If it's a warehouse job or something, I'm less concerned."- staffsargent
Don't Treat It Like A Text Message!
"Former hiring manager here."
"I tossed MULTIPLE resumes that used text message abbreviations throughout the resume and cover letter and one that included emojis."
"While you can do pretty much anything from your phone, it doesn’t mean you should."- spectacularuhoh
text texting GIF by Fifth HarmonyGiphyChoose Your References Wisely
"Not me, but a friend who checks resumes/CVs had a belter."
"Candidate had a conviction and his reference was his friend 'Baz'."- LexiRae24
Make Sure You Have The Relevant Skills
"I know it’s pretty specific but If your looking for a scheduling job make sure you know how to use Excel and clearly state it on your resume."
"It will probably get thrown out otherwise."- LoyalPlanets
As stated before, no two hiring departments will have exactly the same prerequisites and red flags, so no matter how hard you work, your resume is never going to please everyone.
That being said, multiple misspellings and a cheeky e-mail address are a surefire guarantee of not pleasing anyone.