The old wives' tales.
They are the stories of legend.
I think we all need a big DEEP Google dive though.
Where did they originate?
WHO ARE THE OLD WIVES!
You don't hear about them as much anymore.
It's like science and logic are suddenly a thing.
But they sure are a good way to keep your kids and their behavior in line.
Redditor the_spring_goddess wanted to discuss the tall tales we've all been fed through life, so they asked:
"What is an old wives tale that people still believe?"
"Wait an hour to swim after eating."
What a crock!
So many summer hours wasted.
I want revenge for that one.
Say Nothing
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"An undercover cop has to tell you he's a cop if you ask him."
LonelyMail5115
"Pretty much most advice when it comes to cops are old wives tales. I’m not even a cop but most of the advice you hear is pretty off."
I_AM_AN_A**HOLE_AMA
Say Something
"That you have to wait 24 hours to report someone missing."
Severe_Airport1426
"I really think this one is important and should be the top regardless. As it’s a piece of advice that needs to be relearned and the only way to do that is through awareness."
crappycurtains
"This used to be true. I think they changed it after some guy named Brandon went missing back in the '80s or '70s. You used to have to wait 24 hours if the missing person was an adult because they had 'a right to be missing' and then everyone realized that was stupid and stopped doing it."
AlbinoShavedGorilla
Body Temps
"That drinking ice cold water after eating oily foods will solidify the oil and permanently remain in your body. I informed my coworker that if your body temperature ever reached that point, you’d have bigger problems than weight gain."
chriseo22
"Oh, I have a cousin who 100% believed this. One of those guys who believed every early 2000s internet rumor and old wives tale. One night I chugged a big glass of ice water after dinner and he started freaking out and saying my guts were gonna harden."
"I sarcastically told him to drive me to the hospital if that happened. Obviously, nothing happened and the next morning I said something like 'Thanks for being on standby in case my guts filled with hardened oil.' He just walked off muttering under his breath."
apocalypticradish
Arms Down
"When I was pregnant, I was told by young and old alike that I should NOT raise my arms above my head or exert myself in such a manner because it could cause cord strangulation to my unborn sons and daughters."
Fatmouse84
10 Years Actually
Unimpressed Uh Huh GIF by Brooklyn Nine-Nine
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"Chewing gum stays in your stomach for 7 years."
"I remember accidentally swallowing a piece of gum when I was a kid in like 1995 and just accepting my fate like welp, gonna have this in my stomach til high school I guess."
Gecko-911
I was so afraid to sallow my gum when I was young.
This tale is haunting.
High/Low
Hungry Debra Messing GIF by Will & Grace
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"You can tell the sex of the baby by how you carry."
LeastFormal9366
"Pregnancy certainly wins awards for the most old wives tales. So much absolute BS was repeated to us by everyone we talked to."
IllIIIlIllIlIIlIllI
The Cursed
"If you’re a woman and you wear opal jewelry but opal is not your birthstone (October), you’ll never be able to have children, or will be widowed, or just generally have bad luck or something. You can counteract this by having a diamond in the same piece of jewelry as the opal, though."
"I have a nice opal ring that my parents gave me years ago, and I’ve had other women give me this 'advice' unprompted more than once when I’ve worn it. I have absolutely no idea where it started, but I’m pretty sure this little chunk of silicate rock has no concept of what month I was born in, let alone of how my reproductive organs work."
SmoreOfBabylon
Stay In
"Going outside with wet hair will make you get pneumonia. Or an earache. Or maybe arthritis. Depends on which old wife you listen to."
"Jokes on them - I haven't blow-dried my hair in decades and usually leave the house with wet hair in the morning. On winter mornings, the tips of my hair get frozen. No ear infections or pneumonia or arthritis yet."
worldbound0514
Dreams and Facts
"You never make anyone up in your dreams you've seen everyone in your dreams somewhere else before and never make anyone up entirely."
"How would you possibly prove that to be true? My partner adamantly believes this and tells me this 'fact' whenever I have a dream about someone I've never met before."
mattshonestreddit
"My late wife used to tell me that before she met me she would have dreams of standing at an alter on her wedding day but could never see the guy's face, no matter how hard she tried. After meeting me the face was filled in with mine. Don't know if it's true but one of those things I like thinking of every now and then when I miss her."
Darthdemented
Cracked
Getting Ready Episode 2 GIF by The Office
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"Some people still believe cracking knuckles causes arthritis."
Choice-Grapefruit-44
"There's a doctor (Donald Unger) that cracked his knuckles a couple of times a day for 60 years, but only on one hand, just to prove it. Both hands remained exactly the same."
MacyTmcterry
I love my knuckles.
Do you have any tall tales to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below.
Every now and then, a friend of ours might say something, or we might overhear a complete stranger say something that makes us stop in our tracks.
More often than not, what we can't believe we just heard is something so ridiculous, we can't help but put the person who said it in their place.
Other times, however, what we just heard might have stunned us silent because of how shockingly clever it was.
Resulting in our not wanting to scold or yell at someone, but rather give them a handshake.
Redditor SubmergingOriginal was curious to hear the sharpest and wittiest things they've ever heard, from friends and strangers alike, leading them to ask:
"Enough with the dumbest; what is the wittiest thing you've ever heard someone say?"
Don't Give Me So Much Credit...
'I was on a team at work that was on a project working insane overtime."
"One night after an 80-90 hour week, we were all sitting around the table trying to finish up so we could go home."
"Around 11, my buddy's wife called, dubious about the hours he'd been keeping."
"We heard her through the line - 'are you cheating on me?'"
"Exasperated, he looked at our boss, then replied 'honey, if I was cheating on you, I would have been home by now'."- lionbatcher
Eternal Optimism...
"Asked a blind guy if he'd been blind his whole life."
"He said 'Not yet'."- Feeling_Mode_6465
Free time Isn't The Only Thing He Has On His Hands...
"My brother got a vasectomy and when the doctor was releasing him and giving him instructions (with the nurse listening in), one of the orders was to 'come back and have a follow-up appointment after you’ve ejaculated 30 times'.”
"Without missing a beat my brother asked 'what time do you open tomorrow?'”
"The nurse couldn’t keep it together after hearing that."- UtahUtopia
Awkward Season 8 GIF by The Office
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Double Whammy!
"My pal uses the phrase 'he doesn’t look strong enough to carry information' and it cracks me up every time."
"Calling someone stupid and weak in one fell swoop."- JennyW93
Can't Hide Your DNA...
'Whenever I jokingly insult my mum, she says 'that must be where you get it from'."
"She cracked the code."
"I can never offend her without offending myself."- JennyW93
Self-Sufficient!
"My brother was a line cook at a New Orleans restaurant."
"My mom was in town, staying at a fancy hotel, and he stopped by after work, still wearing his kitchen whites."
"He was reading a newspaper in the lobby waiting for her to come down when the shocked lobby manager sputtered at him, 'MAY I HELP YOU!?!?'
"He answered, 'thanks, but I know how to read',” and went back to his paper."- jobrody
Morph Current Affairs GIF by Aardman Animations
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A Miracle!
"My brother-in-law’s comment."
"The entire family went out for my mother’s 80th birthday and after the meal we all went to a local park, largely occupied by the elderly, to rest."
"My mother needed crutches at this point, and they were resting against her bench."
"My 10-year-old niece, who looked like every starving waif image from Dickens, grabbed the crutches and started hobbling round the park."
"All the OAPs were following her progress with looks of pity until my brother ran up behind her, and kicked away the crutches."
"There was an audible gasp from round the park and then my niece picked the crutches back up and started chasing my brother, clearly intending to hit him."
"In the confused silence my brother-in-law’s voice rang out 'Praise be! She can walk again!'"
"We still think this was the highlight of the birthday celebrations."- DdraigGwyn
Still Legal, Whichever Way You Cut It...
"I picked up my pleasantly tipsy boyfriend from a nightclub."
"We were stopped by the Police for a random breath test."
"They asked me my age, and I said, 33."
"My bf blurted out '33? You told me you were 22'."
"Police just laughed and let me go."- Aggravating-Corgi379
Music Video Police GIF by Andrew W. K.
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A Bit Too On The Nose?
"Business law class in college years ago, talking about the issues that black Americans had before the Civil Rights."
"Amendment, trying to travel through the south with the discrimination so rampant, trying to find restaurants to serve them and decent lodgings."
"My instructor was posing a hypothetical: 'So you pull up out front of this place, you're exhausted from driving for hours, and you see the sign out front says 'Ku Klux Klan Motel'."
"'What would you expect to find there?'"
"Without missing a beat, from the back of the room came this gem: "'Extra sheets in every room?'"- NedsAtomicDB
Not Yet, Anyway...
"I was working with my friend and his dad."
"My friend (26) heard an ice cream truck near where we were working."
"He asked his dad if he could have a couple dollars."
"His dad asked, 'what for?'"
"My friend told his dad that there was an ice cream truck in the neighborhood, and that they were playing music."
"My friends dad told him "'They don't charge anything to listen to the music'."- tatersalad1234567890
Words Escape You In The Literal "Heat" Of The Moment...
"A friend of mine is a teacher and her husband is known for his wit."
"She told this story to him:"
"One day at school a kid took the hall pass and returned reeking like smoke."
"She asked the kid if he’d been smoking and he denied it over and over."
"She was about to send him to the office when she noticed smoke coming from somewhere."
"She told the kid and he realized that he didn’t put his cig out completely and it was burning in his pants pocket."
"The kid noticed and frantically tried to put it out and someone finally poured water on it."
"Her husband sat listening to this with a weird look on his face."
"She asked him what was wrong."
“'What’s wrong???'"
"'This was probably the only chance you’ll have in your life to say literally, ‘liar,liar, pants on fire’ and you missed your chance'."- Luder714
On Fire No GIF by PEEKASSO
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Amazing What You Might Say A Few Drinks In...
"When I went to a renaissance faire once, I went to a beer tent and ordered a Newcastle Brown Ale (seemed the most fitting for the surroundings)."
"The beer wench, without skipping a beat, said, 'Everyone wants a Newcastle - no one wants to remodel!'"- jayhof52
Read The Room People!
"My dad wiped out when skiing down a mountain and lost a ski."
"After a few minutes of hunting for it, he gives up, slings the one remaining ski over a shoulder and starts walking down the mountain in his ski boots."
"About half-way down, another skier stops and goes 'Gee! Did you lose a ski?'"
"My dad instantly replied 'No, I was out for a walk and found one!'"- PeterJoAl
There's a reason your mother always told you to "use your words".
As clever remarks can have a much more lasting effect on people than a push or shove.
People Confess The Most Soul-Crushing Thing Someone's Ever Said To Them
It's a fact of life that people can be brutal. Whether it's because a person is downright cruel or because he or she is drunk or angry, they can say some awful things.
My Indian aunt once mistakenly thought a cousin of mine was my daughter and told me American teenagers were trashy and stupid. I don't talk to that aunt anymore...
There is never an excuse to be that cruel, but that doesn't stop people from behaving that way.
Curious about this, Redditor Brilliant-End9428 asked:
No Excuse For Cruelty
"Mum's (59) boyfriend got mega drunk a few weeks back, told her that he was "only with her because he pitied her""
"Drunk or not, she wasn't having that. Back to being single."
– astrielx
Worst SIL Ever
"My sister-in-law was joking about how there aren't any male children that will "carry on the family name" when she knows full well that I lost my son at birth."
– otherm0ther
Wrong Reason To Have A Child
""You were our last attempt to save the marriage""
"Thanks, mom. Glad to know I was a failure straight out of the gate."
– Papa_Smurf87
Their Loss
""You're too ugly to buy ice cream from." - Some b**ch to me @ 15"
– Dividebynegativezero
Undeserving Of Being A Father
"When I was 11 my father (who I hadn't seen in 5 years b/c of divorce) showed up at a family Christmas and calmly asked me to not call him 'dad' b/c his new kids didn't know I existed."
– marshfield00
Grandmas Shouldn't Have Favorites
"I was 7 or 8 and I told my grandmother I wanted to be a doctor when I grew up. She told me I would never be smart enough and that I'd be lucky to one day be my cousin's house cleaner."
"My cousin was her favorite grandchild."
"I'm 32 and I still remember it so vividly."
– Jackie_13
ATM
"I hope you realize I'm only using you for your money"
--warlordwinters
No Good Reason For Saying This
"My grandmother and grandfather told 7yr old me if my mom kills herself and my dad dies in Afghanistan they would rather see me rot on the streets than taking me in"
– sugarhornyicetea
How Did She Keep Her Job?
"not to me, but to three of my friends in middle school. i attended a semi high-end school, and you would expect that the school counselor would be pretty good. hell no."
"the first friend reported a table of boys, with names, that were joking around and casually using racist and sexist slurs. she had VIDEO EVIDENCE, with clear audio of the boys saying those things. the counselor said “there’s nothing i can do about that.”"
"second friend was being sexually harassed by some boys. they were grabbing her shoulders and arms, making inappropriate jokes, completely violating her personal space, and generally making her very uncomfortable. the school counselor responded with the most horrible thing i think i’ve heard. “boys will be boys.”"
"third friend (not exactly a full friend but i knew her through my other friend) sent a LITERAL SUICIDE NOTE to my friend, saying she planned to kill herself by jumping in front of the school bus on its way to pick her up. he freaked out (they’re very close friends) and immediately told his mom, who notified the school counselor, and did all the necessary things. my friend ended up convincing her not to do it, and she was obviously sent to the counselor the next day. two times, and then she didn’t visit again (not by her choice, but by the counselor’s), and my friend gave her more counseling than the professional counselor ever did. we were almost dealing with a suicide, and she didn’t even care."
"i wish i would have reported her to the school board. she was so insensitive and fucking sucked."
– AA4AAAAA
Mountain Out Of A Molehill
"I was driving on the highway the other day and there was a really sharp exit. I apparently cut someone off even after properly signaling and moving to the lane to turn right. They followed me into the parking lot and as I got out of my car they said “you piece of sh*t, you asshole, you deserve every bad thing that’s going to come to you and you deserve to die”. Afterwards, they stormed off."
– KPenguinM
Ignorance At Its Best
"That I am carrying the balck plague because I have asthma... middle school was something else"
– Maximum_Calendar_791
Scarring
"When I was 9 ish, take or lose a year, I was flying to see my family as an unaccompanied minor, meaning I was flying alone. I had done it before, totally not a big deal, but this guy was on the plane while I was getting in. A big man in a suit with a clipboard. He said “wow, you’re a pretty girl! You could be a model! … well, maybe after some plastic surgery.” That comment has never left me."
– TheWolf122
Eeeew!
"Working in retail I have heard some stuff come out of people's mouth but the 1 that stands out is from an elderly man commenting to me about some good looking ladies walking around the shop and he says to me "hey she's nice isn't she?" I said "she's looks young like underage young" and he replied "well young skin will stretch" I was just shocked at what he said as he walked off."
– ChosenSean91
How Rude!
"I have a long list, but when my mother told my boyfriends mom “that I would be a perfect housewife.” This was when I tried to go to college."
– Ok-Mission-2440
Favoritism Is Disgusting
"Had a great great aunt who lived through the Great Depression (she was muy old). At Christmas she would give presents and it was clear she would give gifts based on how much she liked you or not."
"Oldest brother got a nice scarf and hat, I got a decent hat and my other brother got a 10 year old calendar with a coffee stain on it. She really didn’t like him. He tried to be nice to her and the one day said hello to her and she replied with “where’s the one I love?” in reference to my oldest brother."
"She was a rotten old bag."
– PoppaUU
Someone Is Emotionally Stunted
"At my father's funeral. I was 18. Me and my family were at the front row of the room, nearest to the casket, so from behind people couldnt see our faces. After the ceremony, I can't remember exactly who it was, probably an uncle, told me how strong and 'a man' I was for not crying."
"I did cry, of course I did. I guess he didn't see me cry. I didn't really register it at the time, said "thanks" and didn't think much about it."
"Years later I realized how messed up that was. Who goes to someone after they lost a family member and expects them to not cry? To give compliments if they didn't show emotions? To not care enough to shed a tear? Why shouldn't I cry at my dad's funeral? What the f*ck???"
– Pea-Nut2
No Words
"when I was 10 a girl came up to me and said "you're very veiny, can I pop one?" I dont know what the fck she was meaning by 'pop' one but I never talked to her again."
– Deleted User
Joke's On Him
"Not me but my choir teacher."
"When he was in the 12 grade his band teacher said to him the he was "worthless and that he would grow up to be a failure""
"That teacher was wrong, cuz my choir teacher had been teaching band and choir for over 20 years and he's pretty good at it."
– Deleted User
That's Not How It Works
"Just dont be depressed. Like bro..."
– SpeakablePerson
No matter who it was that said something that cruel to you, know that you deserve better (and that it might be time to cut someone out of your life).