One of the lamest ways to insult someone is by describing their behavior as being gay.
The attempt at emasculating a perceived straight heterosexual male by comparing his actions to something that a homosexual male might do is a common form of mockery by alpha males.
Examples include mocking a guy who gets manicures, wears pink, or sits with his legs crossed. "Gay, gay gay," says the immature antagonizer.
Typically, the ribbing occurs between friends and is not prompted by verbal attacks.
Still, this casual form of bullying can be tiresome and only perpetuates misconceptions and stereotypes that can be harmful to the LGBTQ+ community.
Strangers online shared their experiences being targeted when Redditor Spagoobli0 asked:
"What is the dumbest thing people called you gay for?"
Apparently, maintaining good hygiene is so gay.
Being Clean
"i was called gay for showering daily."
– ilive4manass
"with other men?"
– intheken
Scrubbing The Backside
"I was told it was gay to wash my a**. The guy was recently evicted for defecating on his own floor for 6 months and not paying taxes."
– my-recent-throwaway
Pro-Tip
"In boot camp we shower with other dudes. I had someone call me gay in the shower for washing my a**. As if the only reason for washing my a** is to make it presentable for someone else. Nah, dude, I just don’t want skid marks in the tighty whities they make us wear."
"It’s not even like I was doing it weird. Like if I was bent over spreading my cheeks so everyone could see my brown eye, that would be one thing. But I literally just took a handful of suds and ran it down the crack a couple times because, pro tip to my fellow dudes; the water running down your back is not enough to clean the part of you that poop comes out of."
– Morningxafter
Lotion Up
"I once had a friend of mine stop by before we were going to meet some people for brunch. I had just taken a shower and gotten dressed when he walked in the front door (I always had a just walk in policy, suburban life). I have pretty dry skin so I was putting on a bit of moisturizing lotion. First words out of his mouth were 'moisturizing? That’s pretty gay isn’t it?' I said 'If feeling like I don’t want to scrape my skin off is gay, whip out the d*cks!'”
– bg-j38
Keeping up with appearances is hard enough.
The Damaging Effects
"'Gay' was the first 'dis' I ever heard, I had no idea what it meant for like a year. I just knew it was the worst thing to be. My whole generation struggled with that and I really feel for the people who had to come out to friends and family when I was young, it must have been really tough. I came out as bi about 6 or 7 years ago and that was pretty brutal, and the only reason I came out was because something happened that made it clear I was. Tbh it was f'king humiliating and awful at the time, it really f'ked with my head and my self worth. I am totally, 100% ok with it now, in fact I'm kind of proud I have the balls to tell people I'm bi now. It's become who I am and I'm ok with it.
"Just to be clear I've never had an issue with anybody being gay, at all. It's just for me it was a really difficult thing to deal with. Extremely personal. A lifetime of unconsciously being told gay was 'bad' has an effect on me, I wish it didn't but the truth is it did. I have mad respect for all openly gay and trans people."
– NitroD*ckclapp
Revealing Color Choice
"Had a guy genuinely ask if I was gay because I was wearing a red pair of Vans."
– LemonMan589
"Maybe he was cruising."
– InverseRatio
List Of Indicators
"I was a child in the 80s. Calling people gay was standard derogatory talk for checks notes literally everything. Bad play in sport, choice of clothes, hobby, etc."
– f_ranz1224
The Hopscotcher
"I was called gay for about 6 months in middle school for jumping down a hopscotch thing as I walked past it after lunch."
– Sado_Hedonist
What happens in the bedroom...
Going Down
"Like giving oral sex to my wife. Will never understand that."
– Beenthere-doneit55
"Fellas, is it gay to go down on a woman?"
– raveturned
"I view it selfishly. It combines the two two things I love the most, eating and having sex. If that makes me gay, so be it."
– Beenthere–doneit55
Flawed Logic
"They think if you'll do down on your wife you'll go down on a guy?"
"How would the two even translate??"
– WillieOverall
Even before I came out to my friends as gay, being called anti-gay slurs–even in jest–only suppressed my inclination to want to share my truth.
One of the things I've been mocked for during high school pre-coming out was my love for Disney.
The girls had no problem sharing my passion, but the jocks made fun of me for wearing a Mickey Mouse T-shirt to school, saying I was a "sissy boy" for liking Disney and that only "f*ggots" liked Disney.
Now, I know plenty of demographics–gay and straight, all ethnicities–that universally appreciate Disney. But I have to say, good on them for being accurate in knowing who I was before I did: a proud f*ggot who loves Disney.
Redditor Ancient_Command607 was curious to hear the worst, or possibly best, insults people have ever heard, leading them to ask:
"What is a sentence that is extremely insulting to you?"
Think Before You Judge
“'You’re too young to have back problems!'”
“'I was hit by a mini-van'.”
“'Were you a driver or a passenger?'”
“'Pedestrian'.”- tatltael91
You Can't Have It Both Ways...
"'You don't look sick'."
"And when I show them my colostomy bag:"
"'That's disgusting. You shouldn't show that in public'."- unicornchild15
One Sided Argument...
"'We both know that I'M right'."
"G*ddammit mf, if I thought you were right we wouldn't be arguing at this exact moment."
"Especially for the times he isn't."- Heracrorn
Im Right Told You So GIF by DeRay DavisGiphyA Mother Knows...
"'You don't know what a mother is'."
"My mother."- Big_SmallDown_Up
Who Are You Calling Lazy?!?!
"Something that is a direct insult on my work ethic. calling me lazy etc."
"I have a long fuse but I have lost my sh*t a couple times over it."- IMSITTINGINYOURCHAIR
Jealousy? Or Passive Agression?
"Whenever you have something good going for you and someone says 'must be nice'."- hundredjono
Nicki Minaj Side Eye GIFGiphyAlways Needing The Last Word.
"'Let that sink in'."
"'End of conversation'."
"'Louder, for the people in the back'."- f*ck_these_questions
Let's Hope They Weren't Talking Literally...
"Please get your testicles out of my coffee'."- isapnu_puas_sld
Never Judge A Book By Its Cover
“'But you don’t LOOK Autistic'.”
"My diagnosis is in my medical records, Mckinsley Jo."- Fearless_Law6729
Okay, But HOW?!
“'Get over it'.”
"Makes me furious."- kaiser1778
Get Over It Hamptons GIF by discovery+GiphyTruthfully, one can't help but be a little impressed when one comes up with a truly clever insult.
Though those insults might be more impressive while on the outside looking in, as opposed to the receiving end.
Always think before you speak.
Redditor IrohsFavoriteTea was eager to hear some of the most unfortunate accidental insults, leading them to ask:
"What is the worst insult you've suffered from someone who didn't even mean it as an insult?"
Wait for them to share the news...
“'You’re pregnant?!'”
“'No'”
"'Are you sure?'”
"Never wore that dress again."- ExcellentFormal4261
So comforting to know what your parents think about you
"When I was a teen, my dad told me he heard of an athlete who wrote a book about how he used to be bullied when he was young, how he was the school's loser and had no friends."
"'Exactly like you', my dad added."
"What a way to advertise a book to me, thanks dad!"- Baphee
Um, I'm right here!
"I did nude figure modeling for painting classes for extra cash in college about 15 years ago."
"One of the students was having trouble capturing my likeness and called the teacher over for help."
"The teacher: 'well - she has an unremarkable, normal face with no strong features, which is much more difficult to paint'.”
"I mean, they’re not wrong from a painting point of view - but nothing like quietly dying inside, fully naked with an audience."- kettleofhawks
Can't help feeling like a "nobody"...
"One of my in laws walked in when I was the only one in the house and, looking straight at me, said 'Oh, there‘s no one here'.”
"And… turned and left."- Mirabolis
Used to be?...
"Childhood friend from school turned coworker."
“'Yeah you used to be really smart!'”
"I had dropped out of college and we were working as bartenders at a restaurant, were talking about plans for the coming year or two and I had mentioned trying to get a new job/go back to school."
"I died a little/a lot."
"They were trying to be supportive, and were immediately horrified and apologized but yeah."- AlericandAmadeus
Do I need to show my ID?... I really don't mind...
"I started getting asked if I qualified for a senior discount in my 40s…"- FunnyNameHere02
Aging Jamie Lee Curtis GIFGiphyUm, thank you?
"'You look like you own ferrets'."
"I don't even know what that means but it was 4 years ago Hailey and I still remember."- memeking_69
How many ways to express your love...
"When i proposed to my wife she said 'I guess I can’t say no'."
"But she meant to say 'how can I say no'."
"She also had a panic attack the first time we kissed."- _chasls
Kids LITERALLY say the darndest things...
"Kids are the best for this."
"'Daddy, why don't you use your weights any more?'"
"'Is it because you got fat?'"- blimpcitybbq
Not Bad Kids Say The Darndest Things GIF by CBSGiphyThanks... I guess?
"A good friend’s girlfriend told me, 'I love how not girly you are and how you don’t care about how you look!'"
"I think she genuinely meant it as a compliment, but both of those things were news to me…"- angerilla
What are you implying, exactly?
"My cousin came to my house when I was playing on my PC, he just said 'get outta the cave dragon'."
" Sounds better in Portuguese."
"That was a little sharp, ngl."- randompopatoe
Of all the comparisons...
“Y'ou have a cute laugh it’s like a hyenas'."
"My childhood friend."
"We were in fifth grade."
"I was so upset I didn’t talk to him for a week."- NBsub
The Lion King Lol GIFGiphyBack handed compliment...
"My ex best friend told me 'if you weren't such a good person you would be easier to forget'."
"Like?? Thanks? "
"Are you trying to forget me?"- unluckyunnoticed
Tell me something I don't know.
"How about the opposite? "
"My mother teasing me for being a '30 year old virgin' a few years ago."
"Not realizing I'm Ace and have no desire to."- SnooDrawings1480
Thanks for rubbing it in...
"Now it's not so insulting, but back then it was."
"I was 11 or 12 and visiting family."
"I have a cousin who is autistic and we were hanging out and she asked me why I have bug bites all over my face."
"She said it innocently but I had horrible, painful acne when I was a kid so I was pretty sensitive about it."
"Ruined my mood for the rest of the trip."- morgannemary
Acne Zit GIF by Adult SwimGiphyOffense taken!
"My friend and I were trying on dresses."
"She picked out a really short dress for me."
"I didn't want my a** out wearing it, so I stated 'I don't think that would work, I don't want my a** hanging out'."
"She states 'no offense but you don't really have an a**, you're giving yourself too much credit'."
"It stung."
"Not what I meant but ok."- lookylookielilcookie·
"What baby?"
"7 year old daughters best friend had a birthday party a week ago."
"I haven’t met this best friends family yet so we did introductions and all that but the grandma kept saying something about the pregnant lady."
"Like when I would get in the pool to swim with the kids and she’d be able to get out she’d say 'go easy kids, the pregnant lady is on drowning patrol, grandmas tired!'"
"So after a few of those comments I said 'oh haha I'm not pregnant I'm just fat' while holding my 2 year old son."
"She was super embarrassed and insisted I told her I was pregnant."
"I was like hmm I didn’t say that but maybe you just heard that when I said something else?"
"Idk lol."
"I don’t even look pregnant and I’m not even that fat at all so I’m just confused at her unintentional insult."- censoredlass
But how do you really feel?
"Girl best friend: I'm just looking at the persons character if I want to date them."
"Me: So uhm you wanna go on a date?"
"Girl best friend: You have the most beautiful character but you ain't my type, sorry."
"Okay thank you."- AngryPuma_
sad episode 14 GIFGiphyBackfired...
"'It's okay. You did your best!'"
"I had very purposely not done my best, but she didn't know that, and it kinda sucked that she thought that was all I could do."
"Knowing the kind of person she was, I know she would never mean to offend me, but dang."
"If you're wondering why I purposely didn't do my best."
"We were in gym class in middle school."
"Our coach wanted us to run back and forth across the gym until we got too tired."
"Last person running won something, don't remember what."
"I knew I wouldn't win, and I get a pretty bad runners stitch, so I just pretended to be out of breath early on so it wouldn't actually get to that point."- fishwantme
Of course complimenting someone on their new haircut, dress for a special occasion, or big news is always the right thing to do.
But those who are wise always remember to think before they speak.
So one should always think very clearly as to what exactly they are about to compliment...
Or be prepared to open your mouth before your foot reaches it.