I, like many millions of others have had actor Chadwick Boseman on my mind this week. There are a myriad of lessons to take away from his incredible life. One of the clearest is one that so many of us tend to ignore... "Choose your friends wisely and surround yourself with the right people." Mr. Boseman fought cancer for four years while becoming an international superstar and not one person from his circle, not one, spilled his secret or sold him out. That is the definition of that age old saying. Shed yourself of the toxic people. Life is too short. It serves no purpose to allow yourself to be treated as less than. And don't be afraid to listen to the ones who truly care.Redditor u/purpleplum456 wanted us all to get honest and really start to make better choices in those we surround ourselves with by asking.... What's the line between a brutally-honest friend and a toxic friend?
Variations on TruthSeason 3 Episode 6 GIF by Friends Giphy
A toxic "friend" takes obvious pleasure in shocking you with information they know will hurt.
An honest friend directly tells you what you need to know, even if it's not what you wish to hear.
The honest friend will follow the "is it true? Is it helpful? Is it kind?" Rules about when to say something that may be hurtful. The toxic one will be "brutally honest" even when there's no good to come of it because helping you isn't why they are telling you.
How are you?
This! My childhood friend often took great delight in declaring " you look fat/ you've put on more weight/ your stomach looks massive" which ok... yeah I was packing a bit. But it wasn't constructive or even.... nice.
We lived in different towns and after a long time apart - we met in a bar. The first thing she said was "oh my god, you look really fat." Not... so nice to see you, I've missed you, how are you... just insults.
In the end I realized the nasty comments weren't said from a place of concern or love, they were to just put me below her.
After 15 years of not realizing this - something snapped and this is my 4th year without her in my life.
Thanks Anyway....Fuck You Season 4 GIF by Friends Giphy
Honest friend: "That's awesome that you got to the final round of interviews but you might want to apply to other jobs just in case you don't get it. The job market is really competitive right now."
Toxic friend: "there's no way you're getting this job, there are probably tons of people way more qualified than you."
What you "Need"
I had a brutally honest friend who always told me what I needed to hear, and I really appreciated it. But she was NEVER mean about it - she never made personal attacks on my character, or abilities, and she also had excellent judgment on people and situations. A brutally honest friend, boss, colleague, whatever can be counted on to give you smart and rational advice without unnecessarily hurting your feelings. It's totally different from a toxic person, whose goal is mainly to bring others down.
In my experience I can always tell a brutally honest friend because there's always the understanding that they really care about me and love me. They're also not always like that - they're more than just brutally honest; they're also caring - they are multidimensional. It always leads to me appreciating them more as a friend. A toxic friend has a certain amount of straight up malice behind what they say and how they say it.
Honest friend: "That dress doesn't look good on you. You should go upstairs and change. I wouldn't want you to feel embarrassed later."
Toxic friend: at the party, in front of others Wow that dress looks terrible on you. I can't believe you wore that out." When you get mad later "What? I was just being honest!!"
being flawed....Quiet Ross Geller GIF by Friends Giphy
Are they "brutally honest" with you in public? Pointing out your flaws in front of others as if they're trying to embarrass you? Toxic.
Are they pontificating about your "flaws" almost as if they were saying "being you? wrong, be more like me"? Disregarding the intricacies and differences of both of your personalities? Toxic.
Do they say mean crap about their friends with you? They say mean crap about you behind your back.
I think the real difference is motivation. A brutally honest friend is just brutally honest indiscriminately. They will tell you the truth if it flatters you, or if it hurts you, and everything in between. A toxic friend is just self serving. They tell you the truth when it suits them, or if they want to stir up crap, or make themselves look good.
Attention Everyone!Season 5 Shut Up GIF by Friends Giphy
A "brutally honest" friend will pull you aside to tell you that your zipper is down.
A toxic person gets the DJ at the club to call you out.
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Science is science. Fact is fact. Truth is truth and simple is simple. These are things we must now attest to in 2021. Can we please all get onboard with what has been proven? Everything is not a hoax. One of the greatest lies that for some reason continues to circulate is also one of the most believed farces. The Earth is in fact... round. Gravity holds us down as it revolves, if it was flat.... someone would've walked off the edge by now. Its in pictures by everyone from space and on Earth. What more does it take?Redditor u/jbarms wanted to hear from those of us who have come around to giving into facts and science and those of us who brought people to the "circle" by asking..... Former Flat Earthers. What made you come round?
Wisdom in Age<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTUwMzQ5Ny9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY1NDExODE2NH0.PaczFPq111HM9muXXpDcs8gQxo49yNfLwVWDsC9YaB8/img.gif?width=980" id="25aa0" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="f02850aabcd38c5af5362a458548e4ca" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="400" />Smart Think About It GIF by FriendsGiphy<p>Quote I got from somewhere...</p><p>"for 5 years I believed the Earth was flat, then I turned 6". </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kxbzv3/former_flat_earthers_what_made_you_come_round/gj9se47?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">-QED-</a><span></span></p>
Love the Sphere<p>I convinced a flat earther, temporarily, by asking him if it was possible for a sphere to be so large that you could not tell it was a sphere my simply being on the surface of it. It took him a while, I used an analogy of a extremely long line that was so slightly curved you could not tell so by looking at a small section of it. Eventually he said yes to the sphere and I told him that was how big the earth is.</p><p>A few days later he reverted, most of these people aren't mentally stable, they believe in a lot of conspiracies.</p>
Get a Clue<p>Look, it's really easy:</p><p>If the Earth is flat, there would be an edge(s). And there would be a freaking Disney park at the edge, and we could bungie jump off the side and paraglide into the void etc etc.</p>
Gazing...<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTUwMzUwNC9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY0ODk0NTI3NH0.CMaG4vsYTI0c4UrX79w1USMFUQl4RmKQdv7v7jWCp14/img.gif?width=980" id="e52c6" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="84c569de18182631e7590cdd9f09ce5c" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="270" />shock what GIF by The Voice UKGiphy<p>I was debating a flat earther in Mexico, and I asked him about how GPS worked if there were no satellites. </p>
"Truth behind the curve"<p>I watched a documentary about flat earthers called "Truth behind the curve" and my analysis from watching that these flat earthers are a group of people who found a community to be a part of. It's a shame their community is based on a lie, but I saw a bunch of people who were to be part of a community.</p><p>Most of the people were social awkward and what not, and so an opportunity to be an influential figure within the community so they double down on their flawed logic.</p>
"What do you think now," said the Captain.<p>The inclined seat conformed perfectly to his body, strategically placed in the cockpit so he could reach no buttons with outstretched arms. The straps anchored him firmly in place, they were uncomfortable but necessary. The engine burst to life with a roar that burned out all the other audio, the vibrations tore through his body and he felt his body sink back into the seat as the G-Force began to take hold.</p>
Throw a Rock<p>I talked to a flat-earther about my job working for a company that tracks ship locations, routes, and speeds by satellite. We also had ways of monitoring carbon emissions based on fuel consumption and known weather conditions. None of this would work at all if the earth was flat. Not a jot of it. I could only explain the most basic concepts, but it was enough for him to understand and realise that I was right and that he'd been convinced by someone who had no practical experience of the spherical nature of the Earth. </p>
Travel Plans<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTUwMzUzMS9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY2NzMwMTc5Nn0.XGQMkHwliqQq2DKXFp-U_pVJokAPTL_Cea3ZvMlyA6c/img.gif?width=980" id="b5c83" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="576657b9120d76d131fddf3fbd615e11" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="500" data-height="500" />happy travel GIF by RafahuGiphy<p>Had to travel to Japan, gave up on my beliefs in order to make a shorter trip. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kxbzv3/former_flat_earthers_what_made_you_come_round/gj9et5v?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">uvzla792</a></p>
The Deniers....<p>I spent about a year infiltrating the flat Earth community on Instagram. I garnered a decent following with an account dedicated to flat earth travel photos (an intentionally absurd premise). In that time I learned a quite a bit about the community including how to discern the trolls from the real deal. The majority of legit flat earthers are extremely distrustful of anything the government says or does. These same people are 9/11 truthers, Holocaust deniers, and anti-vaxxers and they connect these conspiracies together. </p>
Why Lie?<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTUwMzUxMS9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYzMDk4MTYxNX0.GZRpOiObajP8j3vrae6GVXJ5yotHg8GY6gLtn7Ihwkg/img.gif?width=980" id="c2131" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="d951fc9674113099d3e1b57c3ee4ae52" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="270" />Think Outer Space GIF by NASAGiphy<p>A serious answer here.</p><p>The thing that made me stop was just the question "why would NASA lie to you."</p><p>I will try replying to all of y'all but will go to a study hall so I'll reply later. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kxbzv3/former_flat_earthers_what_made_you_come_round/gj9mo3b?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">The_Holy_Fork</a></p>
Just because someone wears luxury clothing and jewelry, it does not necessarily mean they are wealthy.
Lacking Taste<p>"90% of the people here don't seem to get that you can be rich AND have bad taste."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l0zukl/what_screams_i_am_pretending_to_be_rich/gjx52cy?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Alpha-et-Gamma</a></p><p>"If you already have a bad taste, it won't suddenly become good just because you're rich. And at the same time - taste is subjective so to what extent should anyone care on whether they have a good or a bad taste, right? (I am in agreement with you btw. Just wanted to add to your comment)"</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l0zukl/what_screams_i_am_pretending_to_be_rich/gjxlycx?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">OneTIME_story</a><br></p>
Holding $$$<p>"People who post pictures of them holding money."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l0zukl/what_screams_i_am_pretending_to_be_rich/gjx6515?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">SalamiMommie</a><br></p><p>"If you are holding the money, it isn't that much money."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l0zukl/what_screams_i_am_pretending_to_be_rich/gjyfq0r?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">MTAlphawolf</a><br></p>
Flashing The Brand<p><br>"Posting on social media the expensive stuff you buy and clearly showing the logo."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l0zukl/what_screams_i_am_pretending_to_be_rich/gjwrvqo?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">yuri_yk</a></p>
Posh Hotel<p>"My aunt does this all the time. That and photos of her 'expensive' vacations. She works for an airline and gets heavily discounted (sometimes free) flights."</p><p>"2 years ago she posted photos of herself and her husband staying at some crazy high end famous hotel (like $1k+ a night for basic rooms). The actual story behind it was that they were staying with a relative the whole week and she pressured her husband to pay for a single night there. But then post the photos like she was staying there the whole time."</p><p>"Her entire personality is pretending she is rich. In reality they are struggling because she is draining their life savings."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l0zukl/what_screams_i_am_pretending_to_be_rich/gjxm1r4?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">-PM_me_your_recipes-</a><br></p>
Flaunting It<p>"People who live in low income areas but spend their money on expensive clothes, shoes and jewelry that are Louis Vuitton just to flex on those who don't have it."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l0zukl/what_screams_i_am_pretending_to_be_rich/gjwzhj2?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">lens_princess</a><br></p>
Expensive Wheels<p>"Don't forget their new sport car or Jeeps parked outside their mobile home. If my neighbor sold their three Jeeps their home might not fly away during tornado season with a foundation built under it."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l0zukl/what_screams_i_am_pretending_to_be_rich/gjx2k0x?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Ecstatic-Ambition-23</a><br></p>
Priorities<p>"Coming from a car guy who would gladly own certain cars rather than a house. Sometimes the car just means more than a house would."</p><p>"There's actually a few people who have done this before too. From what I remember, one who was technically homeless in order to buy a Bugatti Veyron (I think he owns some business too though). There's also a YouTube who owns a R-32 GT-R and lives in what is the size of a shed."</p><p>"Just depends where your priorities lie."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l0zukl/what_screams_i_am_pretending_to_be_rich/gjxe3gs?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">PingKiccolo</a><br></p>
"I Got This"<p>"Making a big deal out of paying something for someone. People who are well off might pay for things for you but they will try and be as chill and low key about it as they can. People who want you to notice and feel grateful or impressed by them are just trying to show off."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l0zukl/what_screams_i_am_pretending_to_be_rich/gjwr442?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">ASprinkleofSparkles</a><br></p>
Excessive Accessories<p>"Wearing too much jewelry."</p><p>"'Jewelry is meant to adorn you, not make you look rich' - Coco Chanel"</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l0zukl/what_screams_i_am_pretending_to_be_rich/gjwtu71?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">sugaree53<br></a></p><p>"Mr. T would like a word with you."</p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l0zukl/what_screams_i_am_pretending_to_be_rich/gjwux97?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Insaniac1</a><br></p>
Damaged Goods<p>"Having a newer model car and driving around with the collision damage. Like bro, you were able to 'buy' a new car but can't afford to get it fixed or the deductible to get it fixed?"</p><p>"Taking pictures and selfies with other people's nice stuff. (E.g. cars, liquor, table service at a club, etc)"<br></p><p>– <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l0zukl/what_screams_i_am_pretending_to_be_rich/gjx1hss?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">n00bcak3</a><br></p>
Hilarious moments are blind to timing. They seem to strike at the absolute worst times, when laughing would be completely inappropriate.
Thankfully, Crying Can Look Like Laughing<p>"Great Uncle's funeral.</p><p>"The vicar was doing his thing, but when he said 'our soul,' in his posh-ish accent it sounds just like 'arsehole' and it got me. I managed to keep it together the first time, but after the second one I could barely hold it back...."</p><p>"It was something like, '<em>our soul is something we should cherish, it defines who we are...'</em>"</p><p>"I was stifling laughter to the point of tears, my mum said after she thought I was crying."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l0i8mb/whats_the_funniest_thing_youve_seen_someone_do/gjtmy9t?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">F***TheseNewPlastics</a></p>
One Man Show<p>"A guy was acting as his own attorney. He was questioning himself in court by standing up, asking a question, then sitting down to answer it."</p><p>"The judge finally looked at him and said, 'Sit down, Mr. X.' I almost lost it, but managed to hold my court demeanor."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l0i8mb/whats_the_funniest_thing_youve_seen_someone_do/gjttk7u?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Hellabore</a></p>
A Dick Manifesto<p>"At my friend's grandfather's funeral. The first sentence of the pastor's speech was 'We are all here because we love Dick so much.' His name was Richard."</p><p>"This holy man gave a 15 minute speech about his love of Dick and how Dick changed his life. My wife and I did not make eye contact through the entire thing for fear of busting out laughing in a quiet crowded church."</p><p>"It took me about a year to ask my friend his thoughts about it and apparently he was close to losing it too."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l0i8mb/whats_the_funniest_thing_youve_seen_someone_do/gjtzut0?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">TigerGuitarist</a></p>
Til the Very End<p>"A friend of mine who was always late to work died after an epileptic fit. The undertakers and vicar got delayed and he was late to his own funeral and it was the most fitting and hilarious moment and he'd have loved it."</p><p>"But obviously you can't burst out laughing when the staff at a funeral tell you that he's not there yet."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l0i8mb/whats_the_funniest_thing_youve_seen_someone_do/gjtpoko?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Miraclefish</a></p>
Corpse Slapped<p>"I was in a cadaver lab for an anatomy class, and that week we were learning hip and upper leg muscles. My group were at the table and one of the guys proceeded to roll the cadaver leg over, from looking at the hamstring to study the quads."</p><p>"We didn't realise that the leg belonged to a male until its manhood slapped him straight on the back of his hand."</p><p>"Entire group was breathing super hard trying not to laugh and appear disrespectful in the eyes of the tutors, but I honestly reckon the guy would've been laughing with us."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l0i8mb/whats_the_funniest_thing_youve_seen_someone_do/gjttrul?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">code1520</a></p>
Taking It in Stride<p>"Paramedic here, watched a drunk falling down a bunch of stairs."</p><p>"He then just screamed at his friend to get him a new beer because he dropped his. Nearly pissed myself."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l0i8mb/whats_the_funniest_thing_youve_seen_someone_do/gjtn6y8?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Sir_f***_off</a></p>
She Knows Not What She Doesn't Know<p>"Just two nights ago my picky daughter was telling us that she didn't like meat loaf, no way, no how."</p><p>"Then she described a Japanese hamburger steak that she wanted to make: hamburger, bread crumbs, egg, ketchup, soy sauce, etc."</p><p>"When she was done, I said that she described the exact thing sitting on her plate, and she got really mad. Laughing only made her madder. Couldn't stop laughing though."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l0i8mb/whats_the_funniest_thing_youve_seen_someone_do/gjtqbvz?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">GooberMcNutly</a></p>
Nothing Else to Say<p>"I was watching hunger games in theaters and the Rue death scene caused a reaction from the person behind me that left me laughing so hard I thought the people who didn't hear her would think I was a horrible person."</p><p>"Right when the spear hits her I heard this 'O DAMN' from behind me like the most stereotypical dumb reaction gif sound effect of a dude getting kicked in the nads."</p><p>"It clashed with the scene so much and was the only time the person ever spoke it just cracked me up"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l0i8mb/whats_the_funniest_thing_youve_seen_someone_do/gjtsk7v?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">nightbrother42</a></p>
Committed Revenge<p>"Helping a Grade 2 class (~8 year olds) and one of the kids was just so loud. He was running around the class when one of the girls held out her arm and clotheslined him."</p><p>"I was able to keep a straight face for that but she kneeled down and yelled, 'Boom!' at him."</p><p>"He started crying, they both got a detention, and I almost bit through my tongue."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l0i8mb/whats_the_funniest_thing_youve_seen_someone_do/gjtq3xu?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">asolitarycandle</a></p>
Growing Into It<p>"My step Dad was an Italian from Manhattan. He had the classic Italian mobster accent. We all live in Minnesota, born and raised. So his accent was definitely different from what we're used to."</p><p>"My brother loved to playfully make fun of him by imitating him by saying classic Italian mobster exclamations along with the hand mannerisms. Stepdad was a laid back guy and found it funny and the banter between those two was very light hearted."</p><p>"So, one day, we were having a small get together at our house with my mom, stepdad, my brother and a few friends. We were all hanging out outside when my 4 year old daughter excited started saying 'Uncle Pauly, Uncle Pauly! Watch this!'"</p><p>"As everyone watched, she went over to a piece of dog poop, pointed at it by shaking her open palmed hands, and exclaimed in the most perfect Italian Mobster accent 'What the f*** is thiiiis?!' She even did the head bob perfectly."</p><p>"We all stifled laughter."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/l0i8mb/whats_the_funniest_thing_youve_seen_someone_do/gjtpug3?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Spookyredd</a></p>
Working with dogs is a field like few others. Though a job at a veterinary clinic, animal shelter, or training class may have its moments of tragedy and frustration, the unique hilarity that dogs bring is a real treat.