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Women Share The Acceptable Comments They'd Actually Like To Receive From A Man

Giving (an receiving) compliments can be tricky territory, particularly as it pertains to women. First, you kind of need to establish that what you want to say is, indeed a compliment.

(Pro-Tip: If your compliment involves a qualifier, it's not a compliment. "For a girl", "if you lost some weight", "etc.)

Then, you should establish that the compliment actually should be given and can be given without you looking awful. Did I need to know that the dude at the bar thought my hair smelled good? Not really, but I'd have been open to the compliment on my product selection.

What I was NOT open to was having him grab two handfulls of my hair, bury his face in it, and take a deep sniff. Not a compliment.

One Reddit user asked:

Ladies of Reddit, what are acceptable compliments to receive from men?

And here's what we learned: "it depends."

Why does it depend? Mostly because women are human beings and, like all human beings, they're individuals with individual like and dislikes. Turn out, just treating us like people is the way to go.

It also depends on who you are to that individual woman. Happily married couples seem to have cart blanche to get weird with it, but the man who told 19-year-old me that I had leg like a horse - and meant that in a good way - was waaaaay off base with how weird his compliments could be. If you don't know her, comparing her to farm animals is probably not going to go over well.

Who knew?

Mood AF

A few weeks ago I had to do a 3 hr training at work that nobody wanted to go to, and like you would expect, it went almost an hour over. As we were all leaving I was talking to my friend about how excited I was for lunch, or something like that. He looks at me and says "you're the only person I know who could still be in this good a mood after THAT 4 hour waste of time"

It's the best compliment I've gotten in a while, whether he meant it that way or not :)

- saminourse

Don't Be Gross

ew dislike GIFGiphy

Just don't be gross. Lemme explain with compliments/"compliments" I've received:

"That lipstick looks nice on you." 10/10. Made me feel pretty. No sexual undertone.

"I like flat girls." 0/10. Neggy. Don't care how you feel about my tits.

"Don't worry about having a big nose, it works for your face." 3/10. Also neggy. Suggesting a flaw is attractive to you doesn't make you special.

"Nice (item of clothing here), I love that (insert band/color/style/brand here)." 10/10. There's a guy at work who compliments a different piece of my outfit daily, without fail. I look forward to those innocent remarks and have started returning them. Makes me feel cool.

"You have such a cute laugh." 100/10. Developed a hardcore crush on him afterwards. Still remember that compliment three years later.

"Sure. Just wait until you're comfortable around me." NEGTIVE 100/10. Said after I remarked about being childfree. Suggesting that you'll impregnate me when I least expect it isn't funny or a compliment.

So, to summarize. Compliment appearance, not physique. Using backhanded compliments makes you look insecure. Relating to her interests (genuinely - don't force shit) is a surefire means of fostering goodwill between y'all.

- bloodfields

"It's Not Weird, We're Married."

It entirely depends on what your relationship is to the woman.

Is she a complete stranger? ...then don't. Unless it's topical.

Is she a coworker, a fellow student, an acquaintance? Then ask yourself, what kind of compliments would you find acceptable from strange men? (i.e. away from compliments regarding her looks)

Is she someone you are trying to date? Compliments about looks are okay but keep them non-sexual until you know she digs you (e.g. "You look great," "are those new earrings? They're pretty.")

Is she someone you just started dating? Compliment her body, especially parts you know she's proud off (e.g "your booty is fine!")

Is she your wife or someone you've been dating a long, long time? Go nuts! (e.g, "I love your weird-@ss toes!" "You are sexy when you look at me like you're gonna kill me for letting the kids eat ice cream again!" "Have I mentioned that I love how you smell all musky in the morning before you shower?"). As I tell my husband: it's not weird; we're married.

- Spectrum2081

Complimenting Her Skirt

Actual things said to me by men I work with in the same day:

"I like the color of your skirt!" 10/10, felt like I was walking on air until....

"Your legs look hot in that skirt!" 0/10 felt super slimey, never wore a skirt to work after that.

- crap_whats_not_taken

Judicious Silence

My personal rule of thumb for men:

If you are tempted to add any variation of the phrase "for a girl/woman" to the end of a compliment, just stop yourself before you hit that point.

If it's about how sexy we are in any capacity, just nope the hell out. Think about what you actually mean (i.e. "that color red looks good on you, and the cut of your shirt is very nice") and say that instead.

If you manage to f*ck up, just apologize and explain that you spoke without thinking. Own up to it. Sometimes, you may not have said anything actually offensive but brought back memories of someone who did. Just treat it like someone who can't stand the word "moist" when they eat. In other words, just respect your fellow human and try not to be an asshole.

- buurenaar

Wording For The Randos

For men that don't know me and therefore can't compliment me on my personality, work ethic, etc. or who simply WANT to pay a compliment to my physical appearance, wording is important.

"Your shirt is really cool and suits you" is not a weird thing to say and does not give off bad vibes.

"That shirt looks great on you" is borderline. Not itself creepy but can be interpreted is referring more to my body and what you can see of it, but could also just mean my shirt is awesome and I'm rocking it.

"You look really nice" is relatively benign but also so empty and bland that I would probably think you're saying it exclusively to open a shallow dialogue and it's frankly boring.

"Wow you're gorgeous" is first of all not true I look like an ogre but in general is also just not thrilling to hear out of the blue. Like yes, everybody wants to hear that they're good-looking once in a while, but it gets tiring to hear it too frequently because it feels like that's all that matters, and if the last guy who said it then followed me for a block trying to smash, and last year a dude called me a b!tch for not being grateful enough, obviously I'm gonna be mildly worried that maybe you're also also going to be a d!ck and that sucks all the fun out the compliment anyway.

"Hey, have a great day" is just a nice thing to say to a passing stranger, and if she gets offended by that she's probably a b!tch.

Ultimately, don't comment on someone's body parts, but expressing that you think their style is cool is just friendly, and if you really just want to say something to make someone feel good, expressions of positivity are universally nicer than directed compliments.

Also, pay compliments to people you know, not randos on the street.

- Krellous

In Class

I had a classmate from middle school say that he remembered me because I "was the only one who could beat him at proofs on the chalkboard in Mr. X's class". He's a physicist now and I am a stay at home mom who never really developed a career.

Not sure if that was technically meant to be a compliment, but I couldn't see it any other way, and damn it made me feel good. Will always remember that.

- TheCallie123

A Threat

If you don't know me personally, compliments on my body or even just a "you're gorgeous" make me SUUUPER scared. Compliments from random men on the street, no matter how sweet, are always threatening because their sweetness can absolutely be used to guilt you into talking with them more or putting yourself in a vulnerable situation.

If I do know you however, I'll accept and deeply appreciate almost any compliment on my appearance, interests, or personality that isn't sexual (unless we're dating of course). A good rule of thumb is just to understand that we've all been brought up to see compliments from strangers as threats and to not be judgmental of us for that.

- we_got_bugs_fellas

The Puppy Exception

dog come GIFGiphy

Totally depends on the woman and the situation!

In the workplace, ONLY professional compliments are appropriate. And especially avoid anything appearance related, even clothes or hair. As someone else said, if you wouldn't say it to a male coworker, don't say it! For example, Great job on that report!" 👍 "That dress is really flattering" 👎

If you're complimenting a close friend, saying that dress is really flattering is probably fine, but avoid telling her what parts of her body it flatters, that's creepy.

If it's your wife, telling her her @ss looks fine in that dress is probably fine.

- MuppetJononJovi


My husband once said to me out of the blue, "If you could see yourself through my eyes, you would never have self esteem issues." Super sweet, candid, and I will never forget that for as long as I live. But he is my husband, so he is allowed to compliment my appearance. Any other guys remarking on my appearance is just creepy.

As many have said before, go with compliments that aren't based on appearances, or stick to non-sexual things. Complimenting a personality trait is a huge plus, because it's like the person is complimenting me, not my body.

- shnarf9892

Crash & Burn

Had a male coworker tell me that my place of employment would have crashed and burned without me.

That was a pleasant compliment that wasn't about physical attributes or sex and it was one of the most memorable ones.

- ToastedMaple

That Wasn't It

Literally just today I had a customer go out of his way to tell one of my employees how hot he thought she was, and he kept coming back over to ask when she worked again. And then she and I had a whole discussion about how it's absolutely possible to compliment someone without making them feel uncomfortable or threatened.

And that wasn't it.

- Meagannaise

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People Reveal The Weirdest Thing About Themselves

Reddit user Isitjustmedownhere asked: 'Give an example; how weird are you really?'

Let's get one thing straight: no one is normal. We're all weird in our own ways, and that is actually normal.

Of course, that doesn't mean we don't all have that one strange trait or quirk that outweighs all the other weirdness we possess.

For me, it's the fact that I'm almost 30 years old, and I still have an imaginary friend. Her name is Sarah, she has red hair and green eyes, and I strongly believe that, since I lived in India when I created her and there were no actual people with red hair around, she was based on Daphne Blake from Scooby-Doo.

I also didn't know the name Sarah when I created her, so that came later. I know she's not really there, hence the term 'imaginary friend,' but she's kind of always been around. We all have conversations in our heads; mine are with Sarah. She keeps me on task and efficient.

My mom thinks I'm crazy that I still have an imaginary friend, and writing about her like this makes me think I may actually be crazy, but I don't mind. As I said, we're all weird, and we all have that one trait that outweighs all the other weirdness.

Redditors know this all too well and are eager to share their weird traits.

It all started when Redditor Isitjustmedownhere asked:

"Give an example; how weird are you really?"

Monsters Under My Bed

"My bed doesn't touch any wall."

"Edit: I guess i should clarify im not rich."

– Practical_Eye_3600

"Gosh the monsters can get you from any angle then."

– bikergirlr7

"At first I thought this was a flex on how big your bedroom is, but then I realized you're just a psycho 😁"

– zenOFiniquity8

Can You See Why?

"I bought one of those super-powerful fans to dry a basement carpet. Afterwards, I realized that it can point straight up and that it would be amazing to use on myself post-shower. Now I squeegee my body with my hands, step out of the shower and get blasted by a wide jet of room-temp air. I barely use my towel at all. Wife thinks I'm weird."

– KingBooRadley


"In 1990 when I was 8 years old and bored on a field trip, I saw a black Oldsmobile Cutlass driving down the street on a hot day to where you could see that mirage like distortion from the heat on the road. I took a “snapshot” by blinking my eyes and told myself “I wonder how long I can remember this image” ….well."

– AquamarineCheetah

"Even before smartphones, I always take "snapshots" by blinking my eyes hoping I'll remember every detail so I can draw it when I get home. Unfortunately, I may have taken so much snapshots that I can no longer remember every detail I want to draw."

"Makes me think my "memory is full.""

– Reasonable-Pirate902

Same, Same

"I have eaten the same lunch every day for the past 4 years and I'm not bored yet."

– OhhGoood

"How f**king big was this lunch when you started?"

– notmyrealnam3

Not Sure Who Was Weirder

"Had a line cook that worked for us for 6 months never said much. My sous chef once told him with no context, "Baw wit da baw daw bang daw bang diggy diggy." The guy smiled, left, and never came back."

– Frostygrunt


"I pace around my house for hours listening to music imagining that I have done all the things I simply lack the brain capacity to do, or in some really bizarre scenarios, I can really get immersed in these imaginations sometimes I don't know if this is some form of schizophrenia or what."

– RandomSharinganUser

"I do the same exact thing, sometimes for hours. When I was young it would be a ridiculous amount of time and many years later it’s sort of trickled off into almost nothing (almost). It’s weird but I just thought it’s how my brain processes sh*t."

– Kolkeia

If Only

"Even as an adult I still think that if you are in a car that goes over a cliff; and right as you are about to hit the ground if you jump up you can avoid the damage and will land safely. I know I'm wrong. You shut up. I'm not crying."

– ShotCompetition2593

Pet Food

"As a kid I would snack on my dog's Milkbones."

– drummerskillit

"Haha, I have a clear memory of myself doing this as well. I was around 3 y/o. Needless to say no one was supervising me."

– Isitjustmedownhere

"When I was younger, one of my responsibilities was to feed the pet fish every day. Instead, I would hide under the futon in the spare bedroom and eat the fish food."

– -GateKeep-

My Favorite Subject

"I'm autistic and have always had a thing for insects. My neurotypical best friend and I used to hang out at this local bar to talk to girls, back in the late 90s. One time he claimed that my tendency to circle conversations back to insects was hurting my game. The next time we went to that bar (with a few other friends), he turned and said sternly "No talking about bugs. Or space, or statistics or other bullsh*t but mainly no bugs." I felt like he was losing his mind over nothing."

"It was summer, the bar had its windows open. Our group hit it off with a group of young ladies, We were all chatting and having a good time. I was talking to one of these girls, my buddy was behind her facing away from me talking to a few other people."

"A cloudless sulphur flies in and lands on little thing that holds coasters."

"Cue Jordan Peele sweating gif."

"The girl notices my tension, and asks if I am looking at the leaf. "Actually, that's a lepidoptera called..." I looked at the back of my friend's head, he wasn't looking, "I mean a butterfly..." I poked it and it spread its wings the girl says "oh that's a BUG?!" and I still remember my friend turning around slowly to look at me with chastisement. The ONE thing he told me not to do."

"I was 21, and was completely not aware that I already had a rep for being an oddball. It got worse from there."

– Phormicidae

*Teeth Chatter*

"I bite ice cream sometimes."


"That's how I am with popsicles. My wife shudders every single time."


Never Speak Of This

"I put ice in my milk."


"You should keep that kind of thing to yourself. Even when asked."

– We-R-Doomed

"There's some disturbing sh*t in this thread, but this one takes the cake."

– RatonaMuffin

More Than Super Hearing

"I can hear the television while it's on mute."

– Tira13e

"What does it say to you, child?"

– Mama_Skip


"I put mustard on my omelettes."

– Deleted User


– NotCrustOr-filling

Evened Up

"Whenever I say a word and feel like I used a half of my mouth more than the other half, I have to even it out by saying the word again using the other half of my mouth more. If I don't do it correctly, that can go on forever until I feel it's ok."

"I do it silently so I don't creep people out."

– LesPaltaX

"That sounds like a symptom of OCD (I have it myself). Some people with OCD feel like certain actions have to be balanced (like counting or making sure physical movements are even). You should find a therapist who specializes in OCD, because they can help you."

– MoonlightKayla

I totally have the same need for things to be balanced! Guess I'm weird and a little OCD!

Close up face of a woman in bed, staring into the camera
Photo by Jen Theodore

Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.

Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?

But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.

It would be so great to be sure there is something else.

But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.

Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:

"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"


Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy

"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."



"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."

"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."

"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."


Take Me Back

"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."

"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."



The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy

"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."


This is why I hate surgery.

You just never know.



"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."



"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."

"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”



"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"


"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"


The Fog

"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."

"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."


Through the Walls

"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."

"She's quite alive and well today."


Well let's all be happy to be alive.

It seems to be all we have.

Man's waist line
Santhosh Vaithiyanathan/Unsplash

Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.

The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.

Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.

Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:

"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"

Redditors didn't see these coming.

Shiver Me Timbers

"I’m always cold now!"

– Telrom_1

"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."

– r7ndom

"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."

– mr_remy

Drawing Concern

"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."

– dee-fondy

"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"

"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."

– LizardofDeath

Unleashing Insults

"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”

"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."

– alanamablamaspama

Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight

"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."

– KeltarCentauri

"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."

– KatMagic1977

"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."

– Jaew96

These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.


"I can buy clothes in any store I want."

– WaySavvyD

"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."

– ganache98012

No More Symptoms

"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."

– colleennicole93

Expanding Capabilities

"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."

– Ramblonius

People Change Their Tune

"How much nicer people are to you."

"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"

– LiZZygsu

"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"

"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"

– awholedamngarden

It's gonna take some getting used to.

Bones Everywhere

"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."

– Princess-Pancake-97

"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."

– bekastrange

Knee Pillow

"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."

– snic2030

"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."

– Strongbad23

More Mobility

"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."

"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."

– dma1965

People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.

But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.

That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.