If you are a woman (or any non-cis man gender), the things men do can seem strange, confusing, and even stupid. While we may not understand it, man logic is a whole different way of thinking. After all, as a wise person once said, "men are from Mars". Here are a few examples of this from the women of Reddit.
u/_snazzleton_ asked: Women of Reddit, what is something about men that confuses you?
It can get scary.
My bf and his friends play video games that make them angry and upset more often than not, but they insist they love them and are their favorite games.
It's a stress release. Men are generally taught to not show emotions and be tough. Games are a way to let those bottled up feelings out after a long day of being a rock.
We just want to shoot some motherf*ckers.
The real questions.
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When a girl sits in your lap what does it feel like, and is there a right way and wrong way to do it?
Face: Chill. This is cool, havin' a good time.
Brain: AAAAHHHHH! She's sitting on my lap! WHERE DO I PUT MY HANDS!
It gets tangled?
Does having a d*ck feel uncomfortable when you wear pants? I feel like it would stick to your thigh and I think I wouldn't like that.
Not really, boxer briefs do a reasonably good job of keeping it contained. It's actually more uncomfortable how sometimes it likes to get tangled up in the boxers I sleep in.
He's just nervous.
I know this guy who I think likes me. He's usually really reserved around me but every once in awhile he'll just come up to me, totally confident but next minute he's shy again. Why?
If he does like you, he's probably nervous. He's getting moments of courage that don't last forever. He might be looking for a clear 'go for it' signal. So if you're interested, try approaching him during a shy moment. You making the move might be the sign he needs.
5-in-1?????
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What's the deal with your 2-in-1 shampoos? My boyfriend has a 5-in-1 and I don't understand how it can wash everything!
Good to know.
What does it feel like to stick your d*ck in something? What's a comparable feeling?
Imagine if your finger had about 10,000x the nerve endings, but just at the last knuckle and fingernails aren't a thing. That's somewhat equivalent. Now imagine that feeling attached to your groin and the feeling radiating deep to your core.
Ejaculation has the same heart stopping sensation as a good sneeze, as well as a evacuating feeling like a good poop or like when you finally pee after holding it for a long time. But again, all this radiating outward from your core in the direction of and through this groin appendage, almost convulsing at times. Your whole body gets hot, and there's a brief moment almost like passing out, then reality comes flooding back in as you catch your breath and recover.
That's a valid question.
Have you ever had to wait in line for the bathroom?
[deleted]
At tech conferences, all the time. There's always a bit of a joke about the tables being turned from the usual concert / sporting event type situation, because the ~10% of attendees who are women have no wait at all.
This is cute.
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How do you tell if a guy likes you and how do I get a guy to like me?
Don't be afraid to make the first move. Even if you're anxious, keep in mind that asking a guy out is a massive ego boost for him. Not in a bad way, more like "this is the most positive thing to happen to me in years" kind of way. And a guy will remember you being into him for years afterwards. Hell, I got a compliment from a girl I'd never spoken to years ago in high school and it still makes me feel better about myself.
That's a little creepy.
Is turning simple things, like a towel roll or a pool noodle, into a pretend gun an instinct for you lot?
If it's gun shaped and I'm with my buddies, absolutely.
I wish women's clothes had bigger pockets....
What is it like to have large jean pockets?
We can put anything in it from switches to wallets, you name we can put it in our pockets.
Too real.
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When I text multiple questions to a guy, they only seem to answer one question and ignore the rest. For example:
me: hey did you still wanna see that movie later tonight?
me: also, are we still working out at 2 tomorrow?
guy: yeah I'm still good for tomorrow at 2
(no response to the first question)
me (15 minutes later): so... what about the movie?
guy: yeah we're still good for tonight
Like, why not answer both questions???
I was wondering this too...
Like how do d*cks work? Can you accidentally sit on it? How do you place it?
You don't really place it anywhere. You just sit down and it goes wherever and you don't really think about it
It's possible to sit on your balls but it rarely happens and if it does then it hurts for a bit but you stand up instantly and sit back down but the pain is still there for a bit.
Clean up after yourself!
I totally get that they can't always control their pee stream but half the time they don't clean it up. Why?
It disgusts me when I go into a bathroom stall and see someone didn't clean up after themselves. Like - why do I have to clean up your mess? I will always clean up after myself.
Bro Code is a real thing?
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What are some of the rules of bro code?
I once knew a guy was interested in me and several of his friends sh*t talked him to me... saying they weren't sure if he's clean since he doesn't use condoms, saying I deserve better than him, he's just a f*ckboy and I don't want to be another number... obviously I appreciate that but did they break bro code in doing so?
I guess? I think this falls under the more general rule that a bro must not, under any circumstance, interfere with or interrupt another bro as he is attempting to score, nor otherwise damage his chance of doing so.
As far as other rules of the Bro Code, the two most important are: 1) never take a urinal directly next to an already occupied one unless there is no other choice, and 2) greeting someone as you walk by is to be done, after making eye contact, by way of a single nod - nod down for a stranger, nod up for a bro.
My fiancé is 11 years older than me so I feel this.
What's your deal with age gaps? Is it just a joke, or would you guys actually go for anyone 18 and up, regardless of your own age. No hate, just curious.
If she's cool - we're certainly cool with it (legal).
Young woman who hasn't grown bitter or jaded with life. Better yet when they have opted out of their own gen since many just see it as a dead end. You can't have a future with a guy who sees a dinner date as a fast food visit. Too busy playing games than paying attention to her. The final nail is not wanting to be mature.
And it's beyond just sex for men. That's a poor reasoning used so often. It's vitality - her energy; he will do things with her that he would never do with someone his own age. A great joy in that.
As said, 'you're only as old as you feel' and with a younger woman you feel... opportunities.
If both are happy, the age gap pointless. She wants an established man, not a boy. And he wants her spirit. A fair and merry trade.
When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
Money Burn GIF by nog
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Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
south park wedding GIF
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See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
homer simpson episode 23 GIF
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Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso
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Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
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The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.