Women Share Common Hints That Men Don't Usually Pick Up On
Turns out men aren't so good at taking hints from women. For example, if she invites you "up for coffee" after a date, coffee isn't coffee (usually). And if she breaks out the lingerie, that's a sign.
german900 asked women of Reddit: What's a common hint that men don't pick upon?
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
Not picking up on obvious interest.
There was a guy in college that I liked for a good year. We had dinner together after class two or three times a week, just the two of us. I tried to drop hints all the time, complimenting him and such.
Then Valentine's Day comes around and I ask in advance if he wants to get dinner that day. He immediately says yes and suggests we go somewhere different, since we usually ate at the same place all the time. I eagerly agreed.
We meet there and it's all decorated for Valentine's and he apparently had no idea it was valentine's day. I said "I guess you're my valentine's this year then! Lucky me!" and he turned bright red.
It never worked out and I got over him a bit after Valentine's. Then about a YEAR later we are talking and I bring up how I had the hugest crush on him, like a fun memory, and he goes absolutely bug eyed. Surprised, he is rapid firing questions to dissect how he could have known. After about fifty questions a look on his face made it clear it had finally dawned on him.
After that, I learned--just say it. "I like you. Can I buy you dinner sometime?" is the tried and true way. For me, at least.
Edit: sorry I got lost reading the comments and how so many were hints that a woman was not interested that I started writing my post. Then I saw the original question and realized it said "common". My bad.
Coffee isn't coffee at night.
Want to have something to drink inside (after a date).
Guy: No, I'm good.
Girl: Are you sure?
A coffee at this hour? Oh good heavens no, I'd never be able to get to sleep.
Dating in your 30's.
Yup, sometimes I know it's an offer for sex and I'm still like, "Sheesh, it's just so late... My hips been hurting all night... Am I even going to be able to get it up this tired with my knee like this? Best not risk it..."
Haha. This is so true. I've turned down guaranteed sex and I honestly remember laughing on my way home thinking "20 year old me would be so pissed right now."
Maybe he didn't want to have sex with you.
Not appreciating an effort to be sexy.
If you come home and she's wearing lingerie that might mean she wants to have sex. When you see that she has dressed up for you be dramatic about how much you appreciate it.
If I'm wearing matching undies and bra, I planned it. Otherwise I'm in a tank top and whatever colorful hideous bullsh*t came out of the Walmart multipack.
Needing to feel funny.
I have a girlfriend so maybe this is why I did not pick up the hint but I have always been bad picking up hints.
At family football watching party:
Me: Just chit-chatting with everyone
Girl: OMG you are SOOO funny, laughing a lot
Me: Say thank you and keep on talking
Girl: slowly moves closer to me
Me: Oblivious to the situation
Girlfriend: Hey, why don't we go grab a drink in the kitchen
Girlfriend: You know she was hitting on you right?
Me: No, I was just happy someone actually found me funny
People find me funny all the time. I have to remind them that looks aren't everything.
My husband is the same way. He didn't believe me that a friend of a mutual friend was obsessed with him until she purposely left crusty underwear in our car. I let her sit in the passenger seat to be polite (he was driving) and the gross undies appeared by the shifter when she got out for a few minutes. I put them back into her bag and she pulled her little stunt AGAIN when we dropped her off. Such a strange way to try to pick someone up haha.
When guys have no idea what consent is.
I've straight up told a man that I wanted his d and he still wasn't sure I really wanted sex.
"Ah, really? I mean, like, I'd kinda rather keep it, myself..."
When sex communication is lacking.
Was playing video games, husband watching. I quit, saying "I'm going upstairs to play with myself."
Cue me coming downstairs a couple hours later and asked him why he didn't join. He said he thought I was going to take a nap. I asked him what part of I'm going to play with myself sounds like nap time.
Honestly when I read that I thought it said "I'm going upstairs to play by myself" as in "I can't focus with you watching me."
I don't know, if my wife told me this I'd think she was intent on masturbating and leave her to it.
Bedtime fashion language, or lack thereof.
My pajamas. Strappy, silky or barely there? I'm not really ready to sleep.
Socks, long pants, long sleeved shirt? I'm tired. Cuddle me. I might snore.
19.5 years of marriage. He'll get it one day. ;)
LOL It almost sounds like he just thinks you're hot no matter what you're wearing, so he doesn't see your clothes as a clue but just one of the many ways you're attractive. Maybe a long-sleeved tee that has "not tonight, honey" written on it?
You know, I bet there's a ton of money to be made in message sleepwear like that. Something sexy with "I'm wearing this because I want to have sex with you tonight" written on it. Comfy clothes with, "Not tonight, honey." Comfy clothes with, "I want to be comfy but I also want sex, with you, tonight" written on it.
Wow, straight guys are bad at this.
Guy here but my experience went like this once:
Her: What are your plans after work Friday.
Me: Probably watch Terminator 2 and microwave a Hot Pocket.
Her: That sounds awesome, mind if I join?
Me: Sure, but I only have one Hot Pocket.
Her: That's ok :-)
Me in my mind: Wow, she really likes Terminator 2 and half a Hot Pocket. That's cool. I hope she's ok with the ham Hot Pockets. God, Terminator 2 is like the perfect movie, always takes it up a notch every scene...continue to play the entire Terminator 2 movie in my head...
Edit, wow this blew up. Thanks for the props and it seems a lot of people can relate to one part of the story or another. I'm not super well versed in reddit awards but it looks like silver and gold??? Thanks people...long live Terminator 2!
Me: Sure, but I only have one Hot Pocket.
"Can I have some?"
"Aurora borealis at this time of year, at this time of day, in this part of the country, localized entirely within your kitchen?"
"May I see it?"
Respect the ring.
"I have a boyfriend/husband." equals " I'm not interested!"
It does not mean "I'm taken but please keep flirting with me."
Story time: One time I told a customer this (at a store) and he still kept talking to me. A co-worker saw it and paged for me to the stockroom. That was my excuse to leave him and I stayed in the stockroom for like ten minutes, just passing time. Came out and he was standing there waiting for me. I quickly walked to the bathroom, he followed me there and waited for me to come out. He tried talking to me again but I acted like I was busy and walked past him. I asked the manager to tell him to leave and he did. When I got off my shift at night there was a car in our empty parking lot. I got scared and had to be escorted to my car.
There was this guy who was hitting on me and I told him I had a boyfriend. He then said that another girl he'd hit on once also told him that but he didn't believe her because I guess she was flirty or something so he followed her home and rang her doorbell. He told me that he hid in the bushes and it turned out the girl actually did have a boyfriend because he was the one who opened the door. I had to show him pics of me and my ex to get him to leave me alone.
Not knowing how to flirt.
If I ask you a personal question I probably want you to ask me the same thing.
This is at least in part how I have concluded that a guy isn't actually interested in me. We hit it off on Tinder, had a great chat, he was flirty. But really, I was the one asking the questions 90% of the time and once I stopped, the conversation died down.
Maybe I just sabotaged it too early by stopping to speak to him, but I felt like besides telling me I was cute, he didn't have much else to say and he wasn't interested enough to ask questions.
My current boyfriend is like that at times. Our first few dates were a lot of me asking questions. He didn't really even flirt much. Left me feeling like "is he even into me?"
Turns out, he's just quiet and a bit socially awkward at times. Over time he got into the groove of learning how to flirt with me and ask questions. Some guys just don't know how to get that flow going right away.
One word answers.
My biggest one right now: if you are constantly messaging me and I am replying one or two word answers like yup, hah, or cool, I really don't want to talk to you but I feel bad not replying.
Flirtatious touching isn't necessarily an invitation.
Touching you. Like your hair or your arm. We don't touch guys we aren't at least attracted to or comfortable with.
Edit: Yeah I'm pretty sure like half of you totally ignored the "or comfortable with" part. Read the situation. If it's a date and she touches you that is a good sign. If you guys are friends it probably just means she feels safe with you.
You gotta be careful with this one though. Some girls are just naturally touchy. And from a bad experience with this type of person I barley touch any of my female friends or coworkers. Like not even to get their attention.
Critical caveat. This is one of those things where you have to know a lady's baseline behavior before you notice a divergence from it. If a lady's just touchy with you and you don't have much context, it could go either way.
Which means pretty much that touching isn't a clear sign, which is why guys ignore it to begin with.
Like most things: what is an obvious hint coming from one girl is just someone's baseline mannerisms coming from someone else.
Your server is (probably) not flirting with you.
If a woman is in a job where she's serving you, the customer and being friendly, cheerful, smiling and making eye contact with you, she doesn't want to bang you. It's her JOB to be nice to literally everyone.
I worked at this upscale bar. My coworker was facing away from the customers and scowling about something, just seething with frustration and rage. I almost saw steam coming out of her ears. I was legitimately worried about her. In her 180 degree turn towards the guests, I saw her transform in front of me eyes, putting on the most convincing display of genuine excitement and hospitality towards a couple customers at the bar. This beaming smile with a friendly inflection in the voice. My eyes must have been popping out of my head, that shit was borderline scary
I had a roommate that was very neckbeardy. 100+ pounds overweight, little to no personal hygiene or effort into appearance. We ate at a Buffalo Wild Wings twice a month or so and he left his number for so many cute waitresses because "they were totally flirting with him" despite me explaining what you said.
Every time I'd ask the next day if she called and shockingly none ever did.
"Leave me alone" means leave me alone.
Multiple times, I've had a guy try to chat with me on public transport, in a waiting room, on an airplane, etc. It's usually places I'm not really interested in having a conversation, so I'll give a short but polite response and turn back to my phone/book/music. Probably nine times out of ten, they continue to attempt to talk to me.
That shit is so annoying. Even worse when you're wearing headphones and they refuse to take the hint.
I was once wearing headphones and reading in the library and a guy STILL continued trying to hit on me.
Me too. Then get huffy when I didn't respond. "Don't you want to talk to me?" Dude, you're causing a scene at a woman sitting literally next to a sign saying QUIET ZONE.
Some comments on OP's thread.
ITT: Men hoping to hear hints women give them that they want to sleep with them.
Actually ITT: Women saying how often they give men hints to f*ck off.
Me: Paranoia that women are all being curt and dismissive to get rid of me.
Women ITT: Actually giving strong hints to f*ck off and die.
History is made on a daily basis.
Indeed, there is little more exciting than having witnessed the accomplishments of people like Barack Obama, Stacey Abrams, and Greta Thunberg knowing that they have firmly reserved a space for themselves in history books.
Of course, most of the people who paved the way to make the world what it is today have long since passed away.
Not all of them, though!
It may surprise you to learn that there are people who made an indelible impression on history who are still much alive today.
Some of whom even continue to make a difference to this very day
Redditor enginearz was eager to hear about historical figures people were surprised to learn were still alive, leading them to ask:
"What famous person from history is still alive?"
Forever Leaving His Name In Science
"He's the only currently living man with an element on the periodic table named after him."- snowflake247
Quite The Story To Tell
"Last human to hold the title of Tsar, as leader of the Kingdom of Bulgaria."
"He was exiled along with his family when the Soviets invaded Bulgaria in 1944."
"In 1990, after the fall of the Soviet Union, Simeon returned from exile to Bulgaria and July 2001, was democratically elected prime minister."
"The private citizen is now 85."- DirectionNew5328
Making Nature Cool For Decades
"David Attenborough."- random_username_96You Can Do It Uoftartsci GIF by U of T Faculty of Arts & ScienceGiphy
The Fought For Freedom And Justice
"The last surviving airman of the battle of Britain."
"He is 103 years old."
"He helped with the liberation of Auschwitz."
"He is 99 years old."
"He was a prosecutor at the Nuremberg trials."
"He is 102 years old."- Ashtar-the-Squid
"The last living member of the german anti-nazi resistance group 'White Rose".
"Most well-known members were the sibling Sophie and Hans Scholl, who were executed by the Nazis when they were identified."- ChrisTinnef
The One Who Made One Giant Leap For Mankind
"Buzz Aldrin, and I’m not even American."- mukaltinState Of The Union Salute GIF by MSNBCGiphy
Opening Doors For So Many Others
"She was one of the first black kids to go to an all-white school."
"There is a famous picture of that first day."- mumwifealcoholic
He Continues To Surprise Us
"Ozzy Osbourne."- CaptinDerpI
Admirably Defying So Many Odds
"98 years old."- Back2BachJimmy Carter Drilling GIF by GIPHY NewsGiphy
We've Still Got Two Out Of Four
"Paul and Ringo"- HMKingHenryIX
Inching Close To The Big One Double Oh...
And Still Practically Perfect In Every Way
"Julie Andrews."- aslrulesjulie andrews snap GIFGiphy
Who Could Forget About Dick Van Dyke ?!?!?!?!
"Everyone just forgetting about Dick Van Dyke, he's like 97 and still going."
"If you've never heard of him, he played in Marry Poppins, along with a bunch more movies"- Longjumping_Drag2752
And Still Stunning
"Sophia Loren is still kicking."- The_REAL_McWeasel
Continuing To Go Where No Man Has Gone Before
"William Shatner doesn't look it but that dude is in his 90s wtf."- flubberF*ckWilliam Shatner Fun GIF by Shark WeekGiphy
Perhaps what's most admirable, is that even when these astonishing people do eventually pass, they will continue to live on and change the world with the remarkable work they did.
We all indulge in fast food from time to time.
Even if we know what we're eating isn't exactly healthy, sometimes the salty, fatty mass-produced food is the only thing we want.
Resulting in our making weekly, if not daily, visits to a nearby chain.
Then, of course, there are the chains that we make every effort to avoid.
We've likely tried places at least once simply because everyone is always talking about them.
But after having one bite, we have trouble seeing exactly what all the fuss was about and vow to never return.
Even if it might be the only option at a rest stop or even the only available food for miles, we instead opt to wait and be hungry.
Redditor BungOnMimosas was curious to hear what people considered to be the most overhyped fast food chains around, leading them to ask:
"What do you think are the most overrated fast-food chains? Why?"
"Food As It Should Be"... Or Not...
"I know it's not technically 'fast food', but Panera Bread pisses me off."
"Insanely expensive for extremely average food." - Reddit
"Their quality has decreased so much in the past few years and they’ve added weird sh*t to their menu like pizza and chicken sandwiches."
"Massive identity crisis and crap food."- asm233
Things Ain't What They Used To Be...
"All of them, now that they charge real restaurant prices."- P00pf4rt5
"As much as I hate to say it, McDonald's is the only place that I can think of that the quality hasn't changed much."
"I mean, that's a pretty low bar, but it is what it is."- gnatman66happy ronald mcdonald GIF by McDonald's CZ/SKGiphy
"The majority of them, especially the really big ones (McDonald's, Wendy's, BK, Pizza Hut, etc)."
"The prices are no longer fast food prices and the quality is not there like it used to be."
"Far better local options that cost roughly the same at the end of the day."- senorita_diablo
Consistency Is Key...
"You can go to the same location three separate times, have the food made by the same staff, and receive 3 wildly different results."- AndrewLampart
Not So Popular Anywhere, It seems...
"KFC in France became so bad."- SterBout
"KFC."- calm4ufried chicken animation GIF by octavioterolGiphy
Likely Won't Go National...
"Idk how wide spread they are, but in the Buffalo NY area there is a chain called Mighty Taco."
"They were even voted best tacos a few years ago."
"It is absolutely terrible food."
"I’ve tried to like it and given them 3 chances."
"Each time I couldn’t eat more than a couple bites."
"Absolutely terrible and I’m disgusted even thinking about their sour vomit in a tortilla."- aa-2020
"I think I’ve answered this question before but definitely for me, it’s Subway."
"Nothing but a giant hunk of bread."
"I’m editing this to add that part of my anger about Subway is how good it used to be."
"I can remember the days of nearly a whole can of tuna salad delicious sub."
"And a Veggie sub with Swiss cheese and piles of yummy veggies and the sweet Vidalia onion sauce."
"It’s all gone to sh*t."
"I would’ve been perfectly OK with increasing price but the big drop in quality pissed me off."
"Oh woe is me with my first world problems."- Mysterious-Region640football ok GIF by Subway ColombiaGiphy
Quantity Doesn't Guarantee Quality...
"Starbucks is a scam."- cmkeller62
Tasty, But Not Worth It...
"I’m going to say Five Guys."
"Not because the food isn’t good, but because I’m not paying $20 for a burger meal."- 2PacTookMyLunchMoney
"Dairy queen grill and Chill for sure."
"I worked at one for a lil' while and 1 burger combo is $14.56 CAD."- lolidk13Ice Cream Miracle Treat Day GIF by Children's Miracle Network HospitalsGiphy
And Not In A Good Way...
Big Kahuna Burger, it kills you."-Darklock2022
No two people have the same taste in food.
Some people know to avoid crappy food, while others eat literally nothing else.
There are several movies I've watched so many times I think the viewings outnumber the days I've lived.
And much like a favorite tv series or movie, who wouldn't love to start again anew?
Experiencing that first time but with that feeling of... "I'm gonna love this forever."
We never appreciate the first time enough.
But that's life.
Warning: there are spoilers below.
Redditor Jacale1 wanted to discuss all the movies we wish we could experience new all over again, so they asked:
"What is one movie that you wish you could watch again for the first time?"
There are a lot of mystery movies I'd love to redo, just to figure out the killer sooner.
Gasps!Raining The Shawshank Redemption GIFGiphy
"The Shawshank Redemption."
"A great nominee. Will never forget gasping when that rock went through the poster, and again when the warden pushed his arm through and ripped it down.... wow."
Over and Over
"Edge of Tomorrow."
"Is it bad that I got enjoyment knowing Tom Cruise died a lot in that movie. Never on screen, but it happened. Over and over. I hate that guy. How the hell was he the same height as Nichole Kidman in the movies they acted in together. Rhetorical question."
"Honestly the whole reason I watched the movie to begin with is that he kept dying over and over."
“'Stardust'- if you don’t know you’ll never know."
"I’m surprised that a fantasy romcom can be so enjoyable, for a straight guy. It’s just the right balance between fantasy, comedy, drama, and romance. Most of the female cast are very easy on the eyes too."
"I swooned when Yvaine glows while dancing on the ship, and when she talks emphatically to the mouse in the caravan. This movie has a lot of A listers, and they deliver. I’m not gonna lie, I have probably watched it half a dozen times."
"The book has so much more in it, even having seen the movie you'll feel like a child again."
"I watched this with my wife, who has never seen it, and that's about as close as you can get to watching it for the first time. It really displayed just how good the movie is. Also I love Aliens just as much for different reasons."
"Came here looking for this! I watched it for the first time with my dad when I was 11, and it’s one of my favorite childhood memories. Amazing movie."
Hey Arnoldsci-fi GIFGiphy
"I first watched this as a kid when I knew Arnold was the good guy in movies, and I had not seen T1. I wish I watched T2 for the first time after having watched T1. The mall scene would have been even more mind blowing."
T2 was definitely bada**!! I'd redo that.
"Bro, I'll go further. If I could watch the Nicholson covered in blood scene or the final scene between Damon and Wahlberg, I would be so freaking happy. The sheer acting clout on display for the first is near a masterclass while the last scene was just so business like, I'd love to relive that scene with fresh eyes. I love this freaking movie."
"The original Star Wars. Man, that blew our minds! It totally changed movies from then on. We'd never seen such incredible special effects. The story was so fun and the experience was amazing."
"Even though I’m not a franchise fan, I can get behind this answer. Because when I saw it first run, I was fourteen, and nothing like it had ever been done. I think it was the first movie where the special effects were the movie? Now that’s standard. It’s a reason people see many films now."
"So, for sheer originality, I’d watch it again, but only for the first time. I barely recall the second movie."
"The 6th Sense. I audibly gasped in the theater. All the clues are obvious on rewatch but that first time, before anyone knew M. Knight Shyamalan was a twist guy... wow."
"I never got to see it the first time. My girlfriend at the time (now wife) inadvertently let slip the ending thinking I had already seen it. I have never seen the point in watching it knowing the ending. But I did enjoy The Village."
"I watched it again and it was more of a sad film than a thriller."
"Spirited Away. I was blown away by how beautiful and bonkers it is."
"Saaaaame! Every single Studio Ghibli film, but Spirited Away especially! I’ve still watched it a million times though, and it’s always special. If I’m in a bad mood that film always cheers me up!"
"Also, Avatar-the last air bender. I know it’s not a movie, but I felt like it deserved a mention. I’ve watched the whole thing several times, and it’s always great, but I do wish I could forget it and rewatch it. I’m 35 btw... lol."
Great Scott!Doc Brown Shock GIF by Back to the Future TrilogyGiphy
"Back to the Future."
"I'd love to watch that in the cinemas... Now from the future."
Now I want to go to the movies.
There is no one way to anybody's heart or libido.
Sexy doesn't always have to equal raunchy.
I've known people turned on by music, books, nature, and even funerals (don't ask).
What starts someone's engine is a mystery.
Redditor asexyjohn18 wanted to hear about all the things that get people in the mood, so they asked:
"What is a non sexual trait that turns you on?"
I love a walk. A little strut. Nothing like getting the heart racing.
Tingleshair GIF by SB NationGiphy
"Getting my head scratched or having someone run their fingers through my hair."
"Same. It’s so pleasant when the tingles run down your spine... ;-) "
"When a girl genuinely laughs at jokes I make."
"I remember being on a first date with a beautiful woman and I made a bit of corny joke/comment and she laughed at it. I remember thinking, damn, wait till I get to my good stuff. I did get to my good material apparently as we were married. She gives me as many laughs as I give her."
"Kindness. When I see someone going out of their way to help others for no other reason than it’s the right thing to do… that is some truly attractive vibes."
"Apparently it's vanishing from this world really fast. People who show kindness often end up in losses (of course not everytime but most of the time yes). It really breaks my heart."
"Probably the sexiest thing out there. Someone can be smoking hot, funny, talented, etc. But if they're not kind, they're unattractive."
"Smiling right at me, and men stretching. LAWD HAVE MERCY!!"
"I have trouble smiling at women. Is this a turnoff for them? And ones I like are really hard to smile at. Because I know it's always going to be some really weird big smile if I am crushing which makes me feel like a super duper creep."
SimplicityHappy I Love You GIF by Warner Bros. DeutschlandGiphy
"Sorry if this is too kinky but i like it when they care about me."
"Too far man. You need to rethink your choices."
Sometimes it's all about the heart.
Eye 2 Eyei see you GIF by VH1Giphy
"When a guy explains something to you in a calm and understanding voice. Bonus points for gentle eye contact."
"Being crazily intelligent. Screw dirty talk, I want you to explain some unexplainable s**t in my ear."
"Heck yes. My best connections have been with a philosophy/history professor turned chancellor, an environmental engineer, and a neurosurgeon, all 3 Summa cum laude grads and conference speakers in their fields. The downside to genius though is complete absorption in their fields leaving little time for in person connection."
"Everyone should know how to cook. Hunger knows no gender. I like to eat good food so I learned how to cook. I asked my mom one day and she reacted surprised. She was more than grateful to have an opportunity to teach me the ‘finer’ aspects of cooking, as she called it. Lol. I love food."
"My girlfriend, now wife, likes to jokingly say I got her into bed with a well seasoned steak and homemade fries. I mean we did sleep together almost immediately after we finished dinner so maybe she’s right. That old saying comes to mind. 'The quickest way to the heart is though the stomach.'"
"When I ask my husband for help when I repot my plants and he delicately cleans and moves the leaves. He is a mechanical engineer and he works with huge pieces of industrial equipment, seeing him so tenderly caring for my plants just makes me melt."
Limbs A LotExcited Thomas Lennon GIF by ABC NetworkGiphy
"Men doing intricate work with their hands."
"I second this, also someone who can play guitar/bass real real well... just watching their hands, whoa mama."
Well, it seems that just about anything can get someone in the mood, especially if you're kind, courteous, and especially a good cook.
Anything to add? Let us know in the comments below!