There's this pervasive idea in a lot of people's minds that being straight is just the "default" sexual preference. That isn't the case, though.
We often hear about the moment people realized they were gay, but we almost never talk about people who have those moments of realization that they're straight.
So let's talk about it.
Straight people of Reddit, when did you know you weren't gay?
So ... you know how you don't know if you like a new food until you try it? A few of these responses involve people who had their moment of realization while in the middle of a "taste test" if you will. So This probably isn't the best article for young readers or anyone who might be sensitive to sexual subject matter.
Victoria's Mail-Order Brides
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When I was SUPER young I used to take (and sometimes hide) my mom's Victoria's Secret catalogues. I remember an intense feeling while looking at the models in lingerie. It wasn't a horny feeling (being so young) but it was exciting, fun and it had a magnetic feeling inside me to look at them.
Since I didn't even know what sex is, I figured that feeling was what marriage was. LMFAO So I'd be flipping pages and I'd be like - "Hmm.... I would marry... her.... WOW I really want to marry her... and marry her... mmm I wouldn't marry this one..."
I love these type of questions that bring back things you never think about. Looking back at this foggy memory I can actually remember the specific "perfumey" smell the magazines had.
- foxttrot
That Was That
When I first learned about the concept of being gay. I think I was like 8-9.
I randomly asked my mom "How do you know if you're gay?" and she said "You would just have a feeling and you'd know."
I thought about if I've ever felt gay and I didn't, so that was that.
Third Time Was Not A Charm
I was joking around with one of my friends and we (my friends and I) asked him how he knew he wasn't gay.
He told us he tried it 3 times and still hated it. He told us the long story about how he hooked up with three dudes and then realized he hated it.
So many laughs...
Instinct
Boobs. I realized I am a straight male when I couldn't stop myself from looking at them at the beach. Of course I would also look at jacked dudes and think "Wow, I want to look like this in the future" but it wasn't the same as looking at women.
I would look at muscular men wondering what I would look like as an adult consciously. Looking at boobs felt more like an instinct I couldn't control all that much back at age 12.
- kitho04
Flash Forward
I thought I might be bi. Flash forward to hooking up with hottest chick I'd ever seen and was like "nah... This ain't it." Hell of a time to realize you're actually straight.
Hair
When a girl strokes my back or plays with my hair it's very relaxing, I'm like a cat, I am so happy and comfortable and I'll go to sleep. If a guy strokes me or plays with my hair I'm tense - but in a good way, and really excited and flustered and I want to touch him all over.
THIS. 100%. My hair was long in middle school, and the people sitting behind me in class always wanted to play with it - it was a thing I guess. When my girl friend did it, it felt nice. But when the boy did it, I thought he did it so much better....
That Didn't Go How Mom Intended
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I was raised in a "being gay is a choice" type of house. My mom was giving me a speech about how she didn't care if I "brought home a black girl, a Chinese girl, whatever, just as long I dated a girl." Basically an anti-gay talk.
I was confused about this, and thought to myself, "Why would I date a guy? I'm attracted to girls. Dating a guy sounds nasty. If I had to date a guy who would I date? Best friend? Ew, no. Preppy guy? Ew, no. What's-his-name that is out as gay? Ew, no. There's no guy I can even think of that I'd want to be romantically involved with, and even if there was, I'd really have to force myself to do so... wait ... wait a minute... Holy sht, being gay isn't a choice! I couldn't choose it even if I tried!"
No Emotional Connection
I'm a female and I know that so far it is emotionally impossible for me to fall in love with a girl... I could have sex with a girl but definitely would not be interested in pursuing/dating a girl because there isn't that spark/desire I have with men.
I've questioned my sexuality before just to be sure (lol) but I know that the romantic bond I have with men is not possible for me to have with women. I could sleep with a girl but definitely would not be down to date or even flirt with a girl. It would feel very forced and uncomfortable for me.
A High School Rumor
Honestly? Though I had been reading classic romance novels for a couple years nothing solidified me being straight more the someone in high school starting the rumor I was gay and it taking over the entire school (for 4 years!). So much so I had gym teachers pull me aside to ask if I needed to dress alone so I wouldn't lust after the other girls. It was then I discovered that not only was I not gay but even the idea of sexually touching a girl is a complete turn off for me. I'm not a touchy person to begin with but the mere thought a even having a threesome with another woman involved is like a cold bucket of ice water to my libido.
No Sense Of Scale
I can't even tell how attractive a man is. I can tell the difference between good looking and not good looking but I have no idea of where they sit on the scale. So many times I've been out with friends and they're all "oh my god he's so hot" when to me he looks about the same as most of the other dudes in the area.
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