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Wedding Guests Reveal Their Deliciously Awful Ceremony Catastrophes

Ah weddings, where so much is supposed to go right but most things don't. Imagine the priest dropping dead, or the roof caving in. Or the groom hitting on everyone, throwing his wedding ring, and the honeymoon still happening. Vegas at 2 A.M. doesn't seem like such a bad idea, does it?

DrillWormBazookaMan asked: Couples whose wedding was an absolute catastrophe, what happened?

Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.


Unwanted guests, stolen gifts. Thanks, mother-in-law.

Two things.

70 more guest showed up than were invited. Turns out MIL was inviting people and not telling us. We ran out of chairs, food, everything. Except wine, we had plenty of that.

Someone stole the wedding gifts.

ElbisCochuelo

Ooof.

The wedding was nothing as expected but the marriage has been nothing but a blessing.

It rained non stop, the venue was outside with a gazebo type structure, we still held it there, just closer to the middle so we wouldn't get wet.

We had a low budget wedding, so no live band, just a dj. We gave him the music for the first husband/wife song at rehearsal and all was good. Once it was time for the dance he played the wrong song 3 times, until my husband had it and left me standing in the middle while he went to put the damn music himself.

We hired a professional photographer and also asked our families to take pics with the 3 cameras that we had. We have a total of 10 picture for the whole thing. The professional photographer only had 6 good pictures, everything else was ruined for some reason. The pictures taken with our cameras were all ruined also, this was 17 years ago so i am fuzzy on the details, but all in all, we only got 4 pictures from those cameras.

we were to stay at a hotel in the honeymoon suite and then the next day travel to our honeymoon destination. When we arrived to the hotel (around 1 in the morning i think) they had already given the honeymoon suite to a family because they forgot it was reserved, so we had to stay in a regular room.

EDIT: just to clarify because a lot are asking: This is a third world country, very poor, and at the time we had just started rebuilding after a long war. Customer service was non existing, technology for the pictures was really really bad, so it was a very different time/place from what we would know as normal now, or what we would expect now. At the time, if things went sideways you tough it out and move on. There was no compensation, refunds, or anything like that.

colarg

Probably not the best timing.

So my cousin recently got married to his long term partner and the actual wedding itself went really well.

The reception directly after the ceremony however was marred somewhat by the brides parents announcing half way through the night and completely out of the blue that they would be divorcing...

LethalJizzle

Rain + weak roof = smashed cake.

Not my wedding, but a close friend's colleague.

So much went wrong, but I'll summarise:

unexpected heavy rain
wedding ceremony shifted to inside venue
ceiling collapsed from heavy rainfall right on top of elaborate wedding cake

Luckily the bride and groom had a VERY good sense of humour and iirc the venue refunded a fair amount of what they had paid out of goodwill.

ReasonableApartment

My kinda wedding.

My wedding was awesome, but there was some craziness:

An ambulance was called when one of my groomsmen decided to take a bite out of his pint glass and eat it (on a dare he drunkenly made to himself). My wife and I only learned of this after the fact (as they were good about keeping it away from us).

We had our roommate become a reverend online (Universal Life Church) to marry us who did a great job, but many of the guests thought we just hired a Catholic priest (we come from Catholic families) -- e.g., we just referred to him as Reverend <first name>. Several friends were impressed with the Reverend busting moves on the dance floor and then expressed surprise when he was drunkenly making out with a large black man.

We had an open bar until midnight and then a lower-key cash bar for two hours after that (most guests stayed at the venue which was also a hotel). Our "priest" and someone described as a "large black man" were observed stealing a bottle of Grey Goose from the cash bar, so the next morning when we were finalizing everything we got to pay $300 for it or they could call the authorities. Also, we had given our reverend a bottle of Johnnie Walker (along with the other groomsmen), but he just never opened his groomsmen gift.

NoveltyAccountHater

Genius.

My aunt and uncle were getting married outside in fall, at a beautiful garden. All the guests arrived but the priest did not. Finally they got a call from the hospital saying the priest had food poisoning.

So they grabbed a waiter, sent a groomsman to the Halloween store, and had a wedding where they were "married" by a suspiciously waitery-looking priest.

ogresaregoodpeople

Sounds like a killer time.

My sister's. As we were sitting down to eat, a guest started screaming. The grooms mother went into cardiac arrest. I called 911. They came and attended to her and as we were outside watching them load her into the ambulance, I heard more screaming. Someone ran out and told me that they had better come back into the venue. I run inside and see my grandfather laying on the floor. I ended up riding with him to the hospital. I think he just fainted from the commotion but we didn't know that at the time. They took both of them to the same hospital. Doctor look at both of them as they were being wheeled in and remarked "Must have been one hell of a party."

Walnut28

Moral: it could always be worse.

Not my wedding but my parents'. I wasn't around to experience it but their friends and family still talk about it to this day.

The main culprit was the heavy, heavy rain that caused minor flooding and tons of road closures.

Mother was very late to the church, my father broke down convinced that she was going to be a no-show. Not only was the taxi that was taking her to the church late due to road closures it also managed to hit her as she was running to get in causing a small rip and minor staining on her dress.

A few members of the bridal party were so late they completely missed the ceremony.

At the hotel reception the DJ could not figure out how to get to the venue due to road closures (and being unfamiliar with the area). The first half of the reception was basically quiet until the groomsmen found that the restaurant in the hotel had a jukebox. The restaurant let them move it to the banquet hall where they payed quarters for music.

Almost half of their guests did not come, again due to the rain.

The hotel was understaffed due to the road closures so food took a VERY long time to come out. A guest who must have been literally dying of hunger helped herself to the wedding cake prior to it being cut.

It really sucked on the day but now they look back on it and laugh. Whenever we're at a wedding now and the bride is on the verge of tears due to things not going perfectly my mom will always say, "Don't worry about it, I got hit by a car on my wedding day and everything still worked out."

simplerthings

Do you believe in omens?

When I was about 12, I was an usher in my older cousin's wedding. The pastor had a heart attack mid-ceremony and died on the way to the hospital. Everybody waited in the church basement / "Fellowship hall" while my dad gave CPR and waited for the EMTs. After the EMTs left, the assistant pastor finished the ceremony. The marriage did not last last more than a few weeks.

Chucklefluk

This marriage is off to a great start.

Not my wedding, but the groom kissed me on the dance floor and the priest was a creep and grabbed my friends butt. The groom accused the bride of cheating with the bartender (who is gay and a friend of ours for years) the groom ended up throwing his ring into the woods at the end of the night. The bride stayed in a friends hotel while he went home and went into a rage.

They are actually on their honeymoon at the moment, idiots.

Srirocha

Yeah that's pretty funny.

Not my wedding, but I was working a wedding for dinner service and during the recpetion out in the yard of an event hall, as the bride was walking down the aisle, the automatic sprinklers turned on under everyones chairs and everyone went running and was soaking wet. Honestly, it seemed they thought it was more funny than anything but I cant even imagine.

georgiadawg27

Whoa.

Wedding reception set up anentire wedding for approx 400 guests...with the totally wrong colour scheme, flowers and food. There was a wedding the next day, and unbelievably the bride and groom of that wedding...had exactly the same names. First AND last.

baccgirl

Everything, literally everything, went wrong.

Not mine but at my sister's wedding (marrying a marine she just met) I got into a fist fight, best man threw up during speech, her dress caught on fire, my uncle announced he was leaving my aunt for a 21 year old, drunk cousin spilled the beans about my sister being pregnant to my very conservative grandma and we all got food poisoning for the caterer. Hopefully her next one this winter is better.

Headbangerfacerip

Seared into their memory.

My friend's venue burned down during the reception. They were in the paper and on the evening news. The venue made things right with all of it, but that was a heck of a way to start a marriage.

knightjohannes

That is one strange pastor.

A friend's wedding, worst one i've been to: 1. One of the bridesmaids said she would be part of the party and play the piano for the whole ceremony ONLY if the bride refused to use the "submit to husbands will" bullshit during vows. Bride agreed and then an hour before the ceremony told the bridesmaid that she was going back on her promise. Have you every heard wedding music played angrily on a piano? How about having the piano player need to stare at you while you're in the pews the whole time to try and keep their cool? 2. During the sermon portion of this wedding, the pastor started the speech with "If there is one thing I know about this marriage, it is that this WILL NOT LAST."

Edit: Additional detail sort of requested and now provided. The pastor followed his statement up with some bullsh*t about real marriage not starting until you get to heaven (this marriage on earth never lasts) and then it lasts forever, and he used a sh*tty self-centered metaphor to emphasize the point, and that was the entire sermon. -99/10 would not attend this ceremony again.

thegerd367

Old Wives' Tales People Still Believe For Some Reason

"Reddit user the_spring_goddess asked: 'What is an old wives tale that people still believe?'"

Close up of an owl tilting their head to side, looking bewildered
Photo by Josh Mills

The old wives' tales.

They are the stories of legend.

I think we all need a big DEEP Google dive though.

Where did they originate?

WHO ARE THE OLD WIVES!

You don't hear about them as much anymore.

It's like science and logic are suddenly a thing.

But they sure are a good way to keep your kids and their behavior in line.

Redditor the_spring_goddess wanted to discuss the tall tales we've all been fed through life, so they asked:

"What is an old wives tale that people still believe?"

"Wait an hour to swim after eating."

What a crock!

So many summer hours wasted.

I want revenge for that one.

Say Nothing

Giphy

"An undercover cop has to tell you he's a cop if you ask him."

LonelyMail5115

"Pretty much most advice when it comes to cops are old wives tales. I’m not even a cop but most of the advice you hear is pretty off."

I_AM_AN_A**HOLE_AMA

Say Something

"That you have to wait 24 hours to report someone missing."

Severe_Airport1426

"I really think this one is important and should be the top regardless. As it’s a piece of advice that needs to be relearned and the only way to do that is through awareness."

crappycurtains

"This used to be true. I think they changed it after some guy named Brandon went missing back in the '80s or '70s. You used to have to wait 24 hours if the missing person was an adult because they had 'a right to be missing' and then everyone realized that was stupid and stopped doing it."

AlbinoShavedGorilla

Body Temps

"That drinking ice cold water after eating oily foods will solidify the oil and permanently remain in your body. I informed my coworker that if your body temperature ever reached that point, you’d have bigger problems than weight gain."

chriseo22

"Oh, I have a cousin who 100% believed this. One of those guys who believed every early 2000s internet rumor and old wives tale. One night I chugged a big glass of ice water after dinner and he started freaking out and saying my guts were gonna harden."

"I sarcastically told him to drive me to the hospital if that happened. Obviously, nothing happened and the next morning I said something like 'Thanks for being on standby in case my guts filled with hardened oil.' He just walked off muttering under his breath."

apocalypticradish

Arms Down

"When I was pregnant, I was told by young and old alike that I should NOT raise my arms above my head or exert myself in such a manner because it could cause cord strangulation to my unborn sons and daughters."

Fatmouse84

10 Years Actually

Unimpressed Uh Huh GIF by Brooklyn Nine-Nine Giphy

"Chewing gum stays in your stomach for 7 years."

REDDIT

"I remember accidentally swallowing a piece of gum when I was a kid in like 1995 and just accepting my fate like welp, gonna have this in my stomach til high school I guess."

Gecko-911

I was so afraid to sallow my gum when I was young.

This tale is haunting.

High/Low

Hungry Debra Messing GIF by Will & Grace Giphy

"You can tell the sex of the baby by how you carry."

LeastFormal9366

"Pregnancy certainly wins awards for the most old wives tales. So much absolute BS was repeated to us by everyone we talked to."

IllIIIlIllIlIIlIllI

The Cursed

"If you’re a woman and you wear opal jewelry but opal is not your birthstone (October), you’ll never be able to have children, or will be widowed, or just generally have bad luck or something. You can counteract this by having a diamond in the same piece of jewelry as the opal, though."

"I have a nice opal ring that my parents gave me years ago, and I’ve had other women give me this 'advice' unprompted more than once when I’ve worn it. I have absolutely no idea where it started, but I’m pretty sure this little chunk of silicate rock has no concept of what month I was born in, let alone of how my reproductive organs work."

SmoreOfBabylon

Stay In

"Going outside with wet hair will make you get pneumonia. Or an earache. Or maybe arthritis. Depends on which old wife you listen to."

"Jokes on them - I haven't blow-dried my hair in decades and usually leave the house with wet hair in the morning. On winter mornings, the tips of my hair get frozen. No ear infections or pneumonia or arthritis yet."

worldbound0514

Dreams and Facts

"You never make anyone up in your dreams you've seen everyone in your dreams somewhere else before and never make anyone up entirely."

"How would you possibly prove that to be true? My partner adamantly believes this and tells me this 'fact' whenever I have a dream about someone I've never met before."

mattshonestreddit

"My late wife used to tell me that before she met me she would have dreams of standing at an alter on her wedding day but could never see the guy's face, no matter how hard she tried. After meeting me the face was filled in with mine. Don't know if it's true but one of those things I like thinking of every now and then when I miss her."

Darthdemented

Cracked

Getting Ready Episode 2 GIF by The Office Giphy

"Some people still believe cracking knuckles causes arthritis."

Choice-Grapefruit-44

"There's a doctor (Donald Unger) that cracked his knuckles a couple of times a day for 60 years, but only on one hand, just to prove it. Both hands remained exactly the same."

MacyTmcterry

I love my knuckles.

Do you have any tall tales to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below.

lottery tickets
Erik Mclean on Unsplash

A lot of workers daydream about some day winning the lottery and being able to say goodbye to their job.

Far too many workers are unhappy with their job duties, workplace dynamics or company culture.

But with a taste for luxuries like housing and food, they keep plugging away, year after year.

However not everyone feels that way about their job.

So what are these compelling careers?

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Therapist talking during session
Photo by Mark Williams on Unsplash

Some people stand firmly stand behind their beliefs that everyone would benefit from therapy and that therapy is life-changing.

It's because of the totally life-changing truth bombs their therapist had dropped during their sessions.

Curious, Redditor anonymiss0018 asked:

"What is a little bombshell your therapist dropped in one of your sessions that completely changed your outlook?"

Communication Issues

"'If you don’t have these problems with any other person in your life, why do you think you’re the problematic person in this one?'"

- maggiebear

"I love this. I have a 'friend' who I always seem to run into misunderstandings with. Every time we had a conversation, it somehow turned into a debate even if it was me talking about my day. The conversations were never easy."

"I always evaluate myself first and take into consideration his critiques. He was very good at convincing me that I was contradicting myself or wasn't good at communicating my thoughts."

"I NEVER had this issue with ANYONE else in my life. I kept trying to figure out where the miscommunication was coming from. In the end, I just minimized contact and now I don't run into this issue."

- chobani_yo

"I read this quote somewhere once (and probably have it a bit wrong): 'It's a waste of time arguing with someone who is determined to misunderstand you.'"

- Reddit

Emotional Regulation

"'You can’t control your emotions, but you can control what you do with them.'"

"At the time, I was a young adult who had learned zero healthy emotional regulation skills (only suppression and shaming) growing up, so this blew my mind."

- lil_mermaid

Tough Relationships

"'It sounds to me like you are trying to convince yourself to stay with your girlfriend. I'm not so sure it should be so difficult.'"

"At the time he said this, I remember it was like he said, 'The earth is flat.' I thought he was crazy when he suggested relationships don't need to be difficult. But eventually, I started to realize I was trying to change myself to stay with this person rather than just being who I am."

"It took me three more months to finally break up with her but from that day on, I vowed to never again abandon myself just to be with someone I had convinced myself was better than me."

- metric88

High-Stress Situation

"I was at a high-stress time, and I asked her how people live like this."

"She replied, 'Oftentimes they have cardiac events.' She said it as an urging to care for myself as much as possible."

- KittenGr8r

The End of Alcohol

"I was struggling with my alcoholism, and we were discussing how I had been cutting back."

"She asked what I would consider success, with regard to my drinking."

"I said I wanted to get to a point where it wasn't interfering with my daily life. I wanted to just be able to have a glass of wine at holiday dinners or family gatherings."

"She simply asked me why. Why was it important for me to drink at those times?"

"It was as if she'd turned on a light. Alcohol had always been a key ingredient in every family function, for my entire life. When I smell bourbon, I think of my uncle. When I smell vermouth, I think of my dad. Alcohol ran through almost every happy childhood memory."

"But, even more than that, I was very afraid of the explanation I'd have to give when family and friends asked why I wasn't having a drink. I had tried to quit before but failed. What if I admitted my problem, only to fall off the wagon?"

"When she asked why I didn't want to completely quit, it was the first time I saw that last part of the big picture. I'd be willing to drink myself to death in order to avoid being scrutinized, or judged for possible future failures."

"That was the day I quit. I've been sober since May 6th, 2017. 2,407 days."

- sophies_wish

Acceptance vs. Enjoyment

"'Accepting something doesn’t mean you have to like it.'"

"That took away a lot of my inner conflicts about situations because I could accept a situation without expending energy internally fighting against the injustice of it."

- alibelloc

Emotionally Immature Parents

"You are not responsible for your parents' emotional wellbeing. They are independent adults who have been on this earth for many more years than you."

- SmokedPears

Not So Lazy

"'Why do you think you're lazy?' Then she listed off all the things she knows I'm doing for my family, my job, and my life."

"It kind of blew my mind when I struggled to come up with an example."

"She also described family dysfunction as water. Some families are messed up in a way that everyone can see the huge waves across the surface. Others are better at hiding it, but there's still a riptide that you can't see unless you're also in the water."

"It made me realize that trying to keep the surface from ever rippling doesn't erase what is happening underneath."

- flybyknight665

The Harm in People-Pleasing

"'Why do you make people more comfortable when you are uncomfortable?' when talking about people pleasing and fawning."

- ERsandwich

Agree to Disagree

"'Stop trying to get everyone to agree. When you need everyone to agree, the least agreeable person has all the power.'"

This really changed my outlook on planning family events."

- freef

Grieve and Start Anew

"For context, I had a major TBI (traumatic brain injury), seizures, strokes, and all around not a fun brain time when I was 28."

"They said, 'You have to grieve the loss of yourself.'"

"Most people wanted me to go back to how I was. The f**ked up truth is that part of my brain is dead. The person everyone (including myself) knew died. I needed to grieve the loss of myself."

- squeaktoy_la

Multifaceted Identity

"They told me that my job and career is just a way to make money; it's not my life or identity. That took a lot of pressure off me."

- unfairpegasus

Breaking the Cycle

"They validated me."

"'You always talk about not wanting to do to your daughters what your mom did to you. You worry about it so much in every interaction you have ever had with them."

"But your children are 19 and 21 now. They are happy and healthy and they trust you because you’ve never abused them in any way. So I just want to validate for you that you really have broken that cycle of violence."

"You did that. And you should be proud of it. I’m proud of you for it.'"

- puppsmcgee74

The Grieving Process

"I was constantly bringing up how I felt like a completely different person after my mom died... like there was a marked difference between before and after her death."

"But once, she was asking about my hobbies, I got really into describing all the things I loved to do or at least used to do before I got into a deep depression."

"She was like, 'Wow, you seem very passionate.'"

"And I just sat there like, 'Well, I mean, I can't change what I like to do, they're still fun to do.'"

"And it's like she knew when to take a step back, because it was like, wow, I may be super depressed about my mom passing, but I'm still me. I'm still my passions and those don't go away."

"I don't know, maybe it only makes sense to be, but it really started getting me back on track."

- Hannibal680

Sharing the Load

"I've never really had friends. I've had colleagues and classmates and housemates and people who have hung out with me, but I never really felt close to any of them."

"And I did that thing you see on here sometimes; I stopped reaching out to see if I would be reached out to, and I wasn't, which I took as confirmation that they didn't really want me around, or at the very least, that they wouldn't mind my absence."

"I was talking to my therapist about people I'd been close to in college, and she told me to pick one and talk about him. So I did. After I shared some basic stuff like his name and his major etc., and a couple of anecdotes, she asked me what else I knew about him."

"And I couldn't answer. It wasn't really a broadly applicable bombshell, but she said, 'What else?' and I started crying because I realized that for as simple as the question was, my inability to answer spoke volumes."

"I've never had good friends because I've never been a good friend. I'm withdrawn and reserved and I always made others do the work to drag me out, without ever extending my own friendship in a meaningful way in return. If I wanted to have meaningful relationships with other people, I would have to build them."

"I'm still working on this, but I'm trying to make more offers and extend more friendliness to others in my daily life."

- Backupusername

The discoveries in this thread were incredibly touching and profound; it's no wonder these were lasting concepts for these Redditors.

It's important to keep ourselves open to inspiration and insights from others, as we have no idea how their experiences could help us, or how we could help them.

Aerial view of a church in a small town
Sander Weeteling/Unsplash

There's something comforting about living in a small town.

It's characterized by close communities where neighbors know each other by name and there is an abundance of kindness extended to others.

Gift-giving is a commonality, as is the sharing of recipes, and people going out of their way to help each other in a time of need.

The pace of living in small towns is also a striking contradiction to city life, where crowds of people go about their busy lives without much interaction.

Curious to hear more examples of what small town living is like, Redditor official_biz asked:

"What's the most 'small town' thing you've witnessed?"

These are positive examples of a tight-knit community.

Live Updates

"We have a village Facebook page. Every time the ice cream man drives into the village, the entire page goes ballistic. People send live updates of where the van is and which direction he's heading. The ice cream man has started accepting DMs so he knows which streets to go down."

– PyrrhuraMolinae

Brush With The Law

"I’m from a town of less than 2,000 people. When I worked at the grocery store there people would often drop off stuff for my family members because they didn’t want to drive all the way down to our house. I no longer live there but recently got a call from my daughter. She had been stopped for speeding and handed over her license and insurance which happens to be in my mother’s name. The officer goes 'Hey, you’re Donnie’s granddaughter! I ain’t gonna write you a ticket but I’m telling Donnie when I see him tomorrow cause we’re going fishing.' She replied 'I think I’d rather have the ticket.'”

- Reddit

Roadside Catchup

"The traffic on the 'main street' of my town is so sparse, two drivers going opposite directions can stop and talk to each other for a few minutes without causing any problem."

– anon

When things go wrong, people take notice without incident.

Bank Robbery

"A guy robbed a bank and everyone knew immediately who he was and the teller got mad at him."

– AlexRyang

"A local bank was robbed and one of the tellers told the police to bring her a yearbook from about ten years earlier and she would be able to point the robber out. He had been in the grade before hers in school."

– Strict_Condition_632

Wise Woman

"When I worked at the bank in town there was an older lady that had worked there through 5 mergers."

"She knew everyone, there was a young guy yelling at me one day. She walked out of the back and he immediately quieted. She went off about telling his grandmother that he was treating young women like sh*t. She also said that if he didn’t straighten up not one girl in town would ever marry him she would make sure of it."

– ilurvekittens

Intoxicated Local

"Town drunk was paralyzed and used a motorized wheelchair to get around. I was driving home one Saturday night and said town drunk was passed out in his wheelchair doing circles almost directly in the town square. Had to call his brother who came and picked him up on a rollback truck. Strapped him down and drove off into the cold dark night."

– DoodooExplosion

Grazing Over To The Bar

"In my former small town, there was an older guy who'd lost his license after getting a few DUIs. Every day, he would ride his John Deere lawnmower to the corner bar around 3PM and sit around watching TV and sipping his beer well into the night. Then he'd head the couple miles back home on his mower. He even had a little canvass shell he put on when it rained or got too cold."

– brown_pleated_slacks

It's not surprising how small town people behave differently than those who are from metropolitan areas.

Welcoming Committee

"I lived in a small town. When I moved there, people would ask, 'Whose house did you buy?'"

–MoonieNine

"Move to a small town. 30 years later, you are still the new guy."

– impiousdrifter

"I lived in a small town for most of my childhood but I wasn't "from there" because my grandparents weren't from there."

– raisinghellwithtrees

"Worked with an older guy, relative of the owner of the business, he was 73. I asked him if he was a local, he said 'no his parents moved here when he was two.'"

– realneil

A Busy Day

"Lived in a town of about 5,000: A woman walked into the DMV on a Friday, saw that there were 3 people ahead of her and left to come back another time when they weren't so busy."

– KenmoreToast

Who Let The Dogs Out?

"My dogs got out while i was working. the police called my niece's elementary school (she was a 5th grader) to get her to round them up and take them back home."

– mediocrelpn

"There was a small kennel behind the police station for runaways. They called us saying they had our dog, and moments later our dog showed up home. He broke out of jail."

– Worried_Place_917

While life in a small town sounds appealing, I don't know if I can ever live in one.

I'm so used to life in big cities, I think it would be quite unnerving to adjust in a neighborhood where everyone literally knows your business.

I would be paranoid.

And I'm sure the same could be said of life in the big city.

Would you consider making the switch to life in a different setting?