Sometimes you run into people who seem to live so deeply inside their own heads it renders them incapable of putting themselves in someone else's shoes. Don't even get us started on some of the awful advice people so willingly dole out, the heaping cliches and shallow platitudes that leave you feeling like you'd have been better off if the individual never opened their mouth to begin with!
Prepare to cringe. You're bound to thanks to Redditor Kaisietoo8, who asked the online community "What is the worst relationship advice you have heard?"
"To go nuts..."
To go nuts on your bachelor/bachelorette party. Get it all out of your system before you're married and truly committed.
"Why keep him only for yourself though?"
"Why keep him only for yourself though? Why not let him explore as he pleases? Trust me, he'll appreciate you a lot more if you let him sleep around."
-My drunk mother
"He now doesn't do that."
To do everything your partner says. Like seriously my friend thought he had to bend to the very whim of his girlfriend. He now doesn't do that.
"If he hits you..."
"If he hits you it means he loves you because he's risking going to jail for you. Stay with him! He's the one!" (Something along those lines.) Thanks girl on Dr. Phil. Solid advice, ten outa ten.
"Told to me at 2 AM..."
"If you catch your partner pleasuring themselves, dump them. If they'll do that, they'll cheat no problem."
"If you think they're gonna leave, get pregnant/knock them up. Kids fix everything."
"If you're not fighting, you're not caring. Real couples need to fight to remember they love each other."
Told to me at 2 AM by an old woman in the Seattle Dennys parking lot. I was like.... 23 at this point, and she offered this advice totally unprovoked.
"That's a yikes from me, dog."
Giphy"He isn't proposing fast enough? Fake a pregnancy"
That's a yikes from me, dog.
"My brother once told..."
My brother once told my female cousin it's important for women to remain "mysterious" and to try and remain aloof to keep a man's attention, even with small things: like never burping around him.
"I know a woman..."
I know a woman that was told by her mother on the morning of her wedding, "Even if you don't want to, have sex when he wants it. When they aren't satisfied is when they start cheating."
"You're a romantic partner..."
"You should stay and help them/fix them if you really love them."
You're a romantic partner not a therapist. And even if you ARE a therapist you don't need to fix them, that's unhealthy. A person can only take on so much of that emotional labor before it starts to drag them down too. If your partner won't even try to fix themselves, you are under no obligation to sacrifice your mental health for them. Don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise.
Redditor h-gotfred wanted to hear from the over 50 crowd, so they asked:
"To you Redditors aged 50+, what's something you genuinely believe young people haven't realized yet, but could enrich their lives or positively impact their outlook on life?"
There is so much to know about life.
And we have to age to learn it.
So let's chat...
Be Happy
just married love GIFGiphy"Marriage/relationships should be fun, and happy. Life is hard, things get tough. Find someone that makes the tough times easier, not harder."
Inevitable-Mine6466
"Piggybacking off this and saying, even the happiest marriages get into arguments. It's not a reason to leave."
J3sush8sm3
Battles...
"Not everything that you disagree with deserves an argument. Pick your battles and let trivial things slide."
hail2theKingbabee
"To echo this: Not everyone you disagree with is 'wrong.' They are simply operating with different information. You can disagree with someone on an issue and still value the person. Don't let one issue define your entire relationship with another person."
A_Socratic_Argument
The End
"If you die, your employer will have your job posted before you are buried. Remember that when making work/life choices."
Justin9314
"I started my career at corporate headquarters for a large insurance company. I was doing GREAT, but I just didn’t like the industry. I applied for a job at a major university and someone took a chance on me and gave me the position (transitioning from for-profit to non-profit is notoriously hard)."
"I made less money over the course of my career certainly but I wasn’t on poverty wages by any means. But I remember about 5 years in, one of my old VPs was in town and we got together. His comment was 'We miss you, but you look so much happier, the psychic income is showing.' Insightful guy."
Reynyan
The Truth
"2 things I will be eternally grateful to my grandfather for instilling in me..."
"Failure is not an end state unless it is where you choose to stop. He loved to quote that line by Churchill whenever something didn't work out for me, Success is stumbling from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm."
"Honesty is the most powerful tool you can use to define yourself. Admit your mistake, frankly and honestly. The truth always comes out in the end no matter how big or small and it doesn't get better with age. You can give back something you steal, and you can help those you hurt but once they brand you a liar, it's all you will ever be."
iskandar-
Be Quiet
Golden Girls Rose GIF by TV LandGiphy"Unless you don't mind hearing EEEEEEEEEEEE like all the time day and night, use hearing protection in loud situations. Tinnitus is a bi*ch."
revnhoj
Take care of your ears.
One of life's greatest lessons!!!
Live by the Moon
bart simpson maggie GIFGiphy"Wear sunscreen."
nilecrane
"I just had a quick look at my 50-year-old upper chest, frequently exposed to the sun in my youth, and compared it to my 50-year-old belly, which has always been clothed and covered (I have never liked two-piece swimsuits). What a difference!"
HootieRocker59
Passions
"Take a genuine interest in what other people have to say, ask them follow-up questions about their passions in life. Don’t just talk about yourself, or wait for your turn to talk. That’s how you have a conversation, and build a relationship."
MayIServeYouWell
"Sometimes you gotta be careful with that. Pay attention if the other person is doing that too, it's important for you to share about your life. It can be kind of lonely when you know so much about your friends, but they don't know about you."
jacarelunar
Practice makes Perfect
"Every skill takes determined practice to master. I see my young friends/relatives try and give up on so many things because 'they weren't very good at it.' If you keep doing that, you'll never be very good at anything."
EarhornJonesI
"I love cooking - and find it easy and relaxing. I have hit a point where I can make several dishes that I can honestly say are far superior to what I could get at a restaurant. I love delighting my family and friends with what I cook."
"But the truth is - I've prepared thousands of dishes. I've practiced for 40+ years. I have f**ked up every single type of food there is at least once. I've burnt things. I've undercooked chicken. I failed to emulsify things that should have been emulsified. I forgot to set the timer. I've added too much salt. I chopped when I should have torn. I did all of the wrong things at some point. And because of all of these things, I can walk into any kitchen and make something delicious."
NewSummerOrange
63
"I’d say invest in your health by regularly exercising. My wife got me into running when we were in our twenties, and it has been a big part of our lives ever since (I’m 63). Nothing crazy, no marathons, we don’t time ourselves or follow a strict training plan, we just pick a route, go at our own pace, and have fun. We still go 3-4 miles, 3-4x per week."
"I also started working out at the gym 3x a week with free weights in my 30s, and have been doing it ever since. I’m no Schwarzenegger, believe me, but I can still work around the house, move furniture, shovel snow and have fun tossing a ball around with the kids without injuring or exhausting myself. Between aerobic fitness and weights, I’ve been able to stay remarkably healthy my entire adult life, knock on wood. It’s also been great for my mental health and managing stress."
"You don’t have to go nuts and set unreasonably strict requirements for exercise goals or diet that a normal person can’t possibly maintain - just do the best you can, make exercising a few times per week a habit, eat a reasonable diet (avoid fried stuff, eat fruit and veggies, lay off the sweets), and 40 years later you’ll really thank yourself, believe me!"
lanky_planky
Plan Ahead
Make It Rain Money GIF by yvngswagGiphy"Debt can really ruin your life. If you want to take on a lot of it, make sure you have a good plan and run it by a lot of smart people first."
vanityklaw
Debt. Everyone should learn about avoiding debt as early as possible.
This whole list should be taught in Universities.