The blockbuster movie "The Hangover" is just entertainment, not a blueprint for a fun night out before your I Do's.
A night of abandon that is recorded in the friendship history books. But all the activities included in those evenings should be within reason! Remember you're still committed to this other person. You're just out for a good time, you're not single for a day. So let's not get too crazy!
Redditor theukmoody wondered People who have witnessed a "There's not going to be a wedding" moment following a bachelor/bachelorette party: what went down? Gird your loins kids!
That old spark is dangerous...Giphy
My wife's friend called off her wedding a week before the ceremony. She lived several hundred miles away for school but came back to her hometown two weeks before the wedding to make sure everything was lined up and have her bachelorette party. In the course of her visit, she came across an old boyfriend (who was also engaged) and things "sparked" up again. They agreed they should each leave their fiancés and give their relationship another shot.
Turns out, he didn't keep up his end of the bargain, and she is still single today.
My dad and his friends took a buddy by canoe to an island to get drunk the night before the wedding. He told them all he didn't want to go through with it but couldn't figure out how to get out of it. When he woke up in the morning, they had stranded him on the island, he missed the wedding, his buddies were branded as the jerks. Groom to be was relieved.
Calling Betty Ford...
I see a lot of bachelor and bachelorette parties in my line of work. I actually have a few of these memories.
The first that comes to mind was an interesting night where the bachelor party was happening at one bar and the bachelorette party was in the bar down the block. At the groom to be's party I get a call for help from the place. It's a tame security call. Just a couple getting it on in a bathroom. The bar wanted them booted. I find out the dude is the groom to be and the girl is just some random chick. The chick goes off on her own and now I'm with the groom outside. He's drunk and almost uncontrollable. I am trying to find him a way home safe. His bros were all drunk and kept the party going without him. After a while, the bride to be and her gals come walking down the street. A couple people around chime in and tell her why I am there dealing with him. She breaks down and calls the wedding off right there. He ended up going to detox that night.
"She's" the one!Giphy
I traveled with my wife (then girlfriend) to a wedding she was in. I told my wife there is something going on between the bride and the maid of honor. She laughed. Two weeks after the wedding the brides Facebook goes dark. The bride and maid of honor are now living together in another state. I still talk about how I called it within an hour of meeting them. Poor groom... super nice dude.
Boo she is cray! Run!Giphy
I know a guy who seemingly had his life together: great career, lots of friends, beautiful fiancee.
He had a tendency to drink too much while partying, and a few weeks before the wedding he woke up in the hospital with serious injuries due to a non-automotive drunken accident. The scariest part for him was that he didnt remember a thing past leaving the party to walk home. Did he fall and hit his head? Did someone attack him and leave him for dead?
The thought of that scared him, and he decided to sober up. It also caused him to reflect on his life, and he realized his fiancee was manipulative, controlling, and he'd never be happy living with someone like that. He has some long term damage from the injury, but he's still sober, spends much of his free time for a charitable cause, and dodged a serious bullet (a bad marriage) as a result of that horrible injury so he oddly came out ahead in the end.
- A wedding came in from out of town, the bride/groom hadn't had a stag/hen do so decided the night before that the men and woman would split up and each have their own party. The men had a small cocktail bar and the women took the restaurant. I was meant to be working the main bar but got asked by a female colleague to cover the cocktail bar as the men were getting rowdy and making comments - no problem. Got in there and its just a group of old mates getting hammered, pretty standard stuff, until the stripper arrived. She did a full show, the groom has to remove her underwear with his teeth. All was well until the women found out and called off the wedding - shouting matches went on well into the early hours. The wedding did go ahead, but you could tell there was awkwardness in the air.
- The bride came to the bar asking if we had seen the groom as he was needed for some photographs or cutting the cake, can't quite remember. None of the staff had seen him so she went outside, only to return a few minutes later in tears. She had caught the groom getting with the Maid of Honor...her sister. All out family war commenced with extra guests just sitting there enjoying the buffet. Worst part was hearing the bride cry "I can't believe this happened again", I really felt bad for her because she was lovely. 8bitbenben
The bartender holds the secrets...Giphy
I bartend weddings fairly often and work directly with wedding planners all the time and meet with the bride and groom to be to talk things through and create a sense of familiarity. Each time I met the groom he just kind of seemed out of it but I chalked it up to stress. Day of the wedding before the ceremony the wedding planner comes over and asks for a couple shots for herself, she doesn't drink on jobs so I ask her why. Apparently things were about to get started but the groom was missing and wasn't responding to phone calls so everyone is looking for him then one of the brides maids disappears.
Not long after the brother of the groom gets a text from the groom saying he and the brides maid are in love and they're running away to elope and that he'll call him after. Everyone is getting antsy waiting for things to start and they've all been waiting like 2 hours. Now the wedding planner has to tell 150 people that the wedding is off and explain to the parents what happened while the wedding party is consoling the bride.
Ex-girlfriend was going to a friend of a friends bachelorette party, mainly for her friend who didn't want to go solo.
Anyway, I knew they were going to a strip club and expected to hear all about those shenanigans. She text me when they were leaving, the bride had payed for two of the strippers to come back with them. They went back and the show continued. Everyone seemed like they were having fun, but generally playing by the rules. Nothing that doesn't go on at tons of bachelorette parties.
At some point things took a turn. Then, things went the way they usually do with sexually charged people. People started screwing. Turned into two of the girls having sex with the strippers. Then the bride.
There was no wedding.
Wedding Photographer here - This happened with a couple back in 2015.
Night before the wedding, all the bridal party got together at the hotel, partied, and drank a LOT. I show up the next morning 8am after a 2 hour drive to be told by the hotel receptionist, that there was not going to be a wedding.
Apparently a large fight broke out between the groomsman and bridesmaids. Money to pay then vendors was stolen. The ceremony was supposed to be at 11am that day. After about 2 minutes of WTF is going on here, nobody called and told me. I called the bride's mother - and she stated that she was off to pick up the bride and groom, sit them down, and still try to have a wedding.
Fast forward a couple hours, the groom showed up drunk out of his mind around 10am, guests were already showing up, the bride finally showed around 11:30 - noon time, and there was a ceremony at 1pm. Yes - they still got married. The groom was drunk the whole day, the couple argued a ton.
Needless to say... It was an eventful day.
Dear Jane... I'm a little...Giphy
A friend of mine in college had been engaged to her high school sweet heart. Plan was for them to get married after she graduated. She was one of those that dreamed of her wedding since she was a little girl. She had been planning FOREVER!!! A week before the wedding, he leaves without a trace, except a note saying I can't marry you. She was devastated. We still had a party with the wedding cake, food, etc. because it had all been paid for already. Saddest party ever. She ran into him a few years later at an 80's dance club wearing a mesh shirt and a taxi hat making out with a dude. Saw it coming!!!
Birds of a Feather...Giphy
Both parties happened same night same location as they didn't trust each other. Bachelorette and her maid of honor snuck off mid party to go up stairs to a room they booked to have sex with some random people.
Don't worry the bachelor was a scum too, at some point during their relationship he poked holes in condoms so she'd get pregnant and stay.
Hey girl hey/Ooops...
Not because of the party but still good. Day of the wedding Groom's family is patiently waiting. Bride's family hasn't shown. Bride's mother finally arrives and says that Bride has discovered Groom has a second fiancee in another state and wedding is off. Rehearsal dinner photos on Facebook and someone tagged the wrong girl assuming that was his fiancee he had been talking about. Except it was the other fiancee. So Bride see her tagged as someone else and messages from out of town friends about "Cant wait to meet her why wasn't I invited?"
This be like Jerry Springer meets Maury while at a UFC match! It's awesome!Giphy
Strip club manager here,
Funniest thing I've ever seen. 5 man bachelor party comes into work. Kinda tipsy and having a good time but not being disruptive. They are hanging out for a while and they are great, throwing money and overall being pleasant. At this point they have done nothing wrong. About 2 hours in, my front door flings open and in barge 4 very very drunk women. They storm right past security, make a beeline for the group and what I later learned was the bride, proceeds to beat the absolute crap out of the groom. Then 2 of the other ladies proceed to botch at than attack the best man and another guy. Me and my team bolt over to try and separate the cluster that just transpired pulling the ladies off the guys who looked just as surprised as we were.
We drag them outside and the guys all follow out. The bride start going absolutely nuts on the groom saying how she can't believe he'd go to a strip club to see naked women before their wedding. The groom starts yelling saying it's not a big deal etc. The maid of honor and best man (who were apparently married) also are having the same discussion.
The fun really gets turned to 11 when the quiet female (up to this point) walks up and slaps the dog crap out of the groom wondering why she wasn't good enough. Apparently they had dated years ago and she never got over him. Also apparently the bride did NOT know this information. Bridezilla goes OFF. Start beating the crap out of quiet chick. While groom, me and another security guy are trying to stop a murder in my parking lot, best man and maid of honor are still arguing. Once we separate bride and quiet chick, all we hear is best man scream forget this! Walks over, tells groom he screwed the bride like 3 years ago at a party with the maid of honor and he didn't want him to marry her.
Groom surprisingly is calm... turns to bride and says the wedding was off. She starts freaking out crying apologizing and begging as he walks in the club to pay his tab...
Craziest night at work ever....
Always check who you're emailing
I was two weeks away from getting married, ex went off with her friends for Bachelorette party two in the morning I get a email from the maid of honor it was supposed to be sent to her friends and my name was accidentally selected, the email contained a video of my bride to be performing oral on the male strippers. The next day we were supposed to finalize some plans when the bride to be and maid of honor showed up to pick me up i just pointed at the computer... bride went pale then spent the next eight hours attempting to explain what was going on, then it turned into a horrible mistake, I think at some point I passed out because i had started drinking right after seeing the video and just didn't stop.
Thank her for her service?Giphy
Military idiot in my old unit had a bachelor party at a (very nasty) strip club and screwed a stripper in front of his buddies in the private room. Of course word about this spread like wildfire in the unit and confirmed by the dozen of guys that were in the room when it happened, military spouses gossip and talk and soon the wife found out and they were divorced less than a month later.
I'm still friends with the groom on FB and he is still a idiot.
Dodged A Bullet
My wife had a friend whose fiancee called off the wedding after he found out she had been with a black guy... years before they even started dating.
Always trust your gut...Giphy
This happened to one of my oldest friends who I met in preschool, our families were friends, they moved out of state in middle school but we kept in touch. Cut to our 20s- He gets engaged to his gf that he was living with, everything sounds good, I got the invite and was making plans to travel for the wedding. They had a joint bachelor/bachelorette weekend in Vegas with their wedding party and I coincidentally was out there the same weekend visiting family, so I joined them out one night.
It was awkward AF. I can't really describe the tension. Fiancé didn't even say hi or acknowledge me when I said congrats (first time meeting her too). Everything was disorganized, no one knew what was going on, we kinda wandered from place to place til we settled at a bar in a hotel. I never saw the bride and groom next to each other all night let alone talking. They got in different cabs from one place to the other even though it was not separated by guys and girls, but one big party. I ended up hanging out mostly with my friend's older brother and his gf. I got the weirdest vibe off the situation and when I got back I told my SO I wanted to hold off buying the plane tickets and wasn't sure I wanted to make the effort and pay a lot of money to travel to a wedding that I felt so uneasy about.
Maybe two weeks later my friend calls to ask if I've bought tickets yet. Not yet... Good he says, the wedding is off. Fiancé decided she was in love with one of the groomsmen and she moved in with him. The groomsman that lived right next door to them. She claims she never cheated while they were together and it just happened... right. I think she and groomsman got married some time later, but my friend was stuck in the lease living next to them for several months.
Shots for the groom... I mean the birthday boy!
It was a month before my scheduled wedding and I was getting everything ready. In the meantime all of my close friends in my wedding party came out to celebrate my bachelor party with some drinking, floating, sky diving, etc. Well the night before they get there, my now ex-fiance of 8 years says that she no longer wants to go through with the wedding. So I spend the morning my friends are there calling around to friends, family, reservation services and explaining the news (completing blindsided). Come to find out she had cheated on me and had been feeling that way "for awhile" but didn't share this with me until the day of my Birthday... the day before my friends visit for a few days.
Needless to say the plans changed a bit and it turned into my Birthday party instead. Was pretty awful but I ended up having a good time with best friends.
Much happier now with my soul mate and so thankful that things worked out the way they did!
What happens in Vegas... may destroy your life!
Bachelor party went on a cruise and never left the ship. Ate too much and drank a lot. Meanwhile the bachelorette party went to Vegas. The bride banged one of the strippers and two of the bridesmaids hooked up with old boyfriends who just happened to be there. The wedding never happened. But the bridesmaids are now both engaged to their respective boyfriends (the ones that they cheated on) and planning a double bachelorette party in..... you guessed it..... Las Vegas.
Left foot green...Giphy
Three of us guys were best friends since high school - we'll say it's Billy (guy getting married), Joel (one of the 3 amigos), Martin (me). Fast forward to about age 23 - Billy is getting married to this girl who was 19 at the time. Night of the bachelor party, somehow Joel and I are alone with the bride-to-be. She's got a few drinks in her, and decides to seriously proposition Joel for sex. We thought long and hard about telling Billy, but given previous experiences (we told him about an Ex doing some shady crap and he proceeded to stop talking to us until they broke up), we decided against it. They did get married... 6 months in he got home early from work and walked in on her in the middle of taking her clothes off in the living room with another dude. While they might have just been starting an innocent game of naked twister, he decided to divorce her.
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How many people do you know battling addictions?
According to the American Society of Addiction Medicine (ASAM), addiction is "a treatable, chronic medical disease involving complex interactions among brain circuits, genetics, the environment, and an individual's life experiences. People with addiction use substances or engage in behaviors that become compulsive and often continue despite harmful consequences."
Hearing from those who have battled addictions––and come out the other side––can be remarkably eye-opening, as we were reminded once Redditor YoshBotArmy asked the online community,
"People who have beaten an addiction... what's your secret?"
"I'd then check off..."
"Alcohol. The "one day at a time" approach was too much. I made a chart with a 24 hour day broken up into 15 minutes. For example: 8:00-8:15. [ ]
8:15-8:30. [ ]
8:30-8:45. [ ]
I'd then check off a box for every fifteen minutes I didn't drink. This really boosted my confidence because although I may have only gone two hours without drinking, my brain focused on the 8 boxes I checked off.
Minutes turned into hours, hours turned into days, etc.
It's now been 8 years."
"You need to want to quit..."
"You need to want to quit, otherwise, it will be a fight against yourself. I quit smoking about 15 years ago after being a smoker for like 18 years. I decided to quit several times but never stuck, always found a reason to fall back into the habit. One day my 4yo daughter told me that she was going to find a way to save me from cancer because smokers are bound to get it. After that, I couldn't stand cigarettes anymore and quit within the week. Never again. I wanted to be there for my girl more than anything else."
"The lesson to take away from this..."
"I realised my binge eating was due to a general lack of self-control. I developed bulimia (exercise is my poison) trying to counteract it, and I still struggle with that.
I struggled with it for years and tried everything under the sun to stop it. It wasn't until I started practicing Stoicism that I started seeing life differently. Then a couple of years into that, I overheard a colleague say "it's all about finding balance" in a conversation about the challenges life throws at you. That quote stuck with me for about a year until I realised I have no sense of balance because I used to be an extremely black and white/all or nothing character.
It's now been 2 years since I completely stopped binge eating, and it was all due to having that epiphany. Took practice to get into good eating habits and a routine with meals but I'm all good now.
The lesson to take away from this - teach your children self-control and the ability to say no to themselves. My parents gave me everything I wanted so I had to teach myself this throughout my early 20s."
"That does not mean..."
"You have to learn to give yourself grace.
Relapses happen. I self-mutilate. I will do incredible for months. Then one negative thought can send me into a spiral and I harm myself.
That does not mean that I undid any of the hard work I had done up to this point. I acknowledge that I made a mistake, identify my triggers, and make an effort to start clear of them. Take a deep breath and try again."
A valuable observation.
"I kicked the habit..."
"I wasn't physically addicted to marijuana, but I had such a mental dependency on it that it was pretty much like being addicted. I couldn't function without it.
I kicked the habit by pursuing a girl. I really wanted to date her, and I didn't want her to know that I was actively smoking weed. I stopped smoking weed because I'd fallen in love with a girl. I'm now married to her, and I haven't smoked weed in over 4 years."
"The most important thing..."
"The most important thing I ever learned was not to fight cravings. I don't mean to give in and use when a craving strikes but for a long time simply feeling the craving was awful. I tried so much to avoid the feeling because I was scared of it.
I saw the suggestion to actually indulge the feeling and just let it wash over you. When I tried it, it was still uncomfortable to want to use but by letting myself feel the craving fully I was able to let it go and move on with my day more easily. Fighting the craving just made me suffer."
"I wore a rubber band..."
"I wore a rubber band around my arm and anytime I thought about my addiction, I would snap it and hurt myself. That way, I associated my addiction with pain and eventually broke my body's natural desire for it."
It turns out this has merit.
"I have no idea..."
"Coffee. I was a serious caffeine addict (like 12 cups a day), and one day for no reason I just woke up and ... didn't feel like having coffee. I've had maybe 5 cups of coffee in the 10 years since then.
I have no idea why it happened, but I haven't felt a craving for it in years. I wish that would happen for my other bad habits."
"I don't think..."
"I don't think it's a secret. Understanding the addiction. Knowing that it takes time for the chemicals in your brain to reset. Knowing it's gonna suck. Being prepared as best you can. Knowing it's going to be a battle."
"I'm not very far..."
"It was really taking a toll on my overall health and one day I woke up and said never again. I'm not very far into recovery and I've never been to a meeting or anything. I know I can't have it around me or I'll relapse."
We are proud of anyone who manages to beat an addiction and who can speak about their experience so candidly. And if any of you out there are struggling, we're rooting for you.
Have some of your own stories? Feel free to tell us about them in the comments section below.
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I'm just spitballing here, but it seems to me that pretty much that weapons of war are among humanity's worst creations. Sure: We live in an anarchic world. States can never be certain of another state's intentions. Conflicts are bound to break out. But in a perfect world––and a man can dream––none of this would be necessary.
It seems I'm not alone in this, either. People had opinions of their own after Redditor Questwarrior asked the online community,
"What was the worst human invention ever made?"
"Cheap and easy to make..."
"Landmines. Cheap and easy to make, but they remain active and people forget where they put them."
"Styrofoam. It's toxic, can't be recycled, and there are better alternatives."
It also sounds horrible when rubbed against another piece of Styrofoam. Torturous.
"Now idiots can connect to each other..."
"Social Media - It gave people the ability to find others and create echo chambers. Before, idiots were isolated to dealing with just a few in their immediate radius of existence. Now idiots can connect to each other across the world and validate their thoughts/feelings."
This is very true. We're seeing the consequences, aren't we?
Ain't built like they used to - because they can't sell you a newer model if the old one is still performing like new.
If companies didn't have this in mind we wouldn't be running out of resources and messing up the planet in search of more. This would create less conflict and way less pollution. Imagine companies actually making insanely good, long-lasting products instead of cheap ones that needs replacing more often than it should."
"Heroin destroys people's lives every day."
"As a medical student..."
"As a medical student, I basically see people every day whose lives have been wrecked by smoking. Kids and unborn babies get messed over by tobacco smoke. Stupid and plain evil."
A great film about the tobacco industry: The Insider (1999). Really makes you think about the cost we all pay for Big Tobacco.
"I can't believe..."
"The concept of Flat Earth. I can't believe people are still stuck in the seventeenth century and still believe in that crap and try to defend it with their misunderstandings of science and physics, as well as pure ignorance."
People believe the most ridiculous things.
"They exist solely..."
"Torture devices. They exist solely to cause harm."
"How am I going to pay you..."
"Overdraft fees. How am I going to pay you EXTRA money when I don't have money?!"
Human beings are capable of so much innovation, beauty, and joy, but threads like these remind us of all the horrors in the world. There's a lot of darkness in humans, too.
Have some of your own contributions to share? Feel free to tell us about them in the comments below!
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Homelessness is an unfortunate and all-too-common occurrence in the world, particularly in the United States. Homelessness has grown to a huge degree, and while most countries have the resources to help their homeless, many choose not to.
It is also difficult to break the cycle of homelessness once you have entered it. It creates a never-ending loop of failed job searching, lost or stolen goods/items/things of value, and stigmatization by society. More often than not, homelessness is begotten by another condition wherein the state or country fails to provide resources--such as mental health.
"Ex homeless people, what are some things people don't know about the streets?"
Here were some of those answers.
A Sad Reality
"My stint on the streets was about six months and due to some bad decisions I made. But what sticks with me the most was the crushing boredom."
"No intellectual stimulus at all because it's safer to keep your distance from other homeless, and you're not going to have a chat with civilian out of the blue."
"So you're completely alone all the time. And to avoid putting yourself in risky situations you stay on the move as much as possible."
"Most cities you can get some day labor work for quick cash but then you have to be careful about people knowing you have cash. You're always on the lookout."
"The only sound nights sleep I ever got was when I could manage to scrounge up enough cash to get a room in a transient hotel for a night and basically pass out from exhaustion."
"Other than that you're sleep deprived most of the time. And of course all this is made worse if on the streets in winter."-HardALee99
The Worst Side Of A Woman's Life (TW: Rape)
"I'm a psychiatric RN who works with mostly homeless people."
"I have heard SO MANY TIMES where women who tested positive for meth have said they use it to stay awake 24/7 to avoid being assaulted by other homeless."
Lucky To Be Alive
"People can and often do develop PTSD from being homeless, especially in rough areas. BF was kicked out at 14 in what was, at the time, the heroin capital of the Northeast, and he very quickly realized that selling drugs was the easiest way to make sure he had food/water/shelter as someone under legal age to work."
"But bouncing from crackhouse to crackhouse— especially as a kid— creates this state of constant hyper-vigilance, possessiveness over your belongings, a lot of hoarding behaviors, etc."
"Basically you wind up living in survival mode the entire time so you don't get assaulted/arrested/kidnapped/shanked."
"To this day if you touch him while he's sleeping he freaks the f**k out. Loud noises at night freak him out, car engines outside, lights in the window, etc."
"He still sleeps better on a couch in the corner of the room than a bed, because 'at least then you have something at your back, makes it harder for people to surprise you.'"
"Nightmares, too. Just... a whole bunch of sh*t, some of which I won't get into because he's embarrassed by it. Here are a few of the choice events he went through, though, just in the first two years or so:"
"He's almost had his throat slit with a half a DVD, woke up with a fork in his chest from some crazy chick, had all his food stolen, even had somebody inject him with heroin against his will while he was sleeping. Sad to think about."
"He's off the streets now, kicked a drug addiction, found a good-paying job, and is about to go to college. But the damage being homeless for his adolesence/early adulthood did..."
"It's going to be a while before he really feels safe. Not to mention he feels like a failure going to college at 30, but... I mean, how many people could have gone through all the horrific sh*t he went through, lived to tell the tale, AND somehow managed to keep going and eventually recover?"-vishuual
Homelessness is even expensive for the country because it leads to more and more problems that resources have to be expended upon in order to deal with the mental health and physical trauma it causes.
Over And Over
"One thing that f**ked me up was my concept of time. Often I'd be up late as f**k trying to sleep and before I knew it, the sun's back up."
"You gotta plan your day differently to use the restroom and it's hard to even find anything 'normal' to do because there are so little resources."
"People don't realize that being homeless is a situation in which no one is really looking to help you to find a sustainable life. It's truly being otherized and ostracized until you die or miraculously get back on the work grind."-SuperDuperChuck
Not An Addict
"I guess the worst part for me was the lasting trauma."
"Sure walking around in sandals because it's all you have when it's raining sucks. Sure sleeping in public is terrifying. Yeah homeless shelters are packed out. Borderline impossible to get a job."
"But the worst part was realising I'd lost some fundamental part of myself and I wasn't getting it back. Innocence maybe?"
"But it's more than that, it's like that Lily Allen music video where she's walking around with rose coloured glasses but the audience sees what's real. Yeah well, you lose the glasses and you never get them back."
"There's nothing that fixes the trauma of knowing people who you thought were your friends or family were fully aware you had nowhere to go and didn't do anything about it."
"You can't fix that feeling of your best friend not returning your texts until you're back on your feet. Or the stares you get in the street when thousands of people walk past and don't stop."
"I'm physically ok now but I'll never see people the same way again. I don't know how to. I used to be a really sociable person and now I steer clear of most people. I don't trust anyone."
"Also as an aside, the people who were kindest to me were always working class. A construction worker who bought me lunch. A taxi driver who got me a blanket. Rich people treat you like utter filth and disappear ASAP."
"I was homeless due to domestic violence as well, but people just assume it must be drugs. I literally barely drink let alone use drugs, but in people's minds homeless = addict."-SunnydaleHigh1999
Stop Stigmatizing Homelessness
"The amount of 'ordinary' people there are that are homeless. I was homeless for about 6 months but you would have never known."
"I had job where I could make just enough to stay fed and get a gym membership. I kept all my clothes in the gym/ back room of the restaurant I worked at."
"I'd hide and sleep in the back office of the restaurant. A lot of homeless people have cars and can sleep in them."
"Gym memberships are the easiest ways to stay clean/ not look homeless. Once my boss found out I was homeless, he let me move into a room at a hotel he managed for free. That man saved my life."-SeamanTheSailor
Food Or Money?
"People seem to have this perception that food is the only thing a homeless person would need to use money on and so they will give food in place of money."
"While giving food is nice, it isn't some one-to-one replacement for money. Food can't help you get cleaned up for job interviews, for example."-CattyPlatty
And homelessness is caused by a number of things--most of which are failures of the government. There are enough vacant homes in the United States for every homeless person to have 6.
Policing Your Own Cleanliness
"What's really important is staying clean. But not so clean people won't give you money if you have to panhandle."
"Don't let people know where you sleep if you can help it."
"Don't take work offers alone, you never know what kind of sicko's there are out there, especially once they have you alone in their environment."-Tired_of_yer_ish
Read That Part Again About How Close You Are To Homelessness
"Former homeless person here (as a child and an adult) and someone who used to work helping folks who were unhoused due to violence get housing:"
"-You are more likely to become homeless than win the lottery. Most Americans (around 60%, that number has probably changed in the pandemic) are one missed paycheck away from homelessness."
"-As shared above, lack of quality jobs, affordable inventory (meaning not enough affordable housing), and integrative and trauma-informed heath care services are the leading causes that keep people unhoused."
"All this to say, you have far more in common with people on the street than you think you do. Please see them as people. I will never forget what it felt like to have someone's eyes slide right past me like I was invisible. "
"No one is expecting you alone to end homelessness, but you can give someone $10 for a laundromat or shower, or say hello."-AbolitionistCapybara
Why Is It Illegal To Have The System Fail You?
"I was homeless with my single mom at the age of 9. In the US it is basically illegal to be homeless but it is definitely illegal to be homeless and have a homeless kid."
"My mom was a great mom. We just hit a really rough patch in the 2008 financial crisis in the US causing my mom to lose her job."
"She could not get another one and we ended up living in her mini van. However she was always able to get me food and get me to school. I am not sure how she was able to keep our situation a secret but I was so ashamed of living in a car that I wasn't about to tell anyone about it."
"I think it is twisted that the government would rather place kids with strangers and give those strangers money to take care of the kid than to help that kids family find stability."
"Furthermore my boyfriend was in the foster system for a number of years and has a few horror stories from it. I feel lucky that I was homeless with my mother and that we were able to get out of that situation in comparison to what my boyfriend went through in his childhood living with abusive foster parents."-psychologicalfuntime
The bottom line is that homelessness is not the fault of the homeless. It is the fault of a system that criminalizes a lack of resources and support, especially in the USA, the wealthiest country in the world.
What would we gain by continuing to criticize and stigmatize homeless people across the country?
It's amazing what the legalities are from place to place. I live in New England, and in Connecticut, passengers are allowed to drink alcohol in the car, as long as they aren't driving. Weed isn't legal there, but open containers in the car? Totally fine. At least we have something to look forward to as we cross the border.
There are some truly strange laws depending on where you go. Here is a list of the weirdest ones.
Did you know that murder is allowed in certain instances, depending on where you go? Talk about scary.
I’m sure no one will test these laws.
Not sure how much of it is true. But apparently if the Swedes cross the border by walking over the ice given its frozen over, (which it hasn't in like more than 100 years) we are allowed to kill them.
The exact gates they have to be within are defined but I don't remember what they are.
Dying is illegal in France.Kate Mckinnon Snl GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy
Oh boy. France has some history and a love of regulation. Perfect mix for absurd laws. Quick examples:
It's still technically mandatory to have hay at home in case the king's horse is nearby and needs some... Horses have been a pretty rare sight, let alone kings.
A mayor made it illegal to die in his town. The initial problem was an overcrowded cemetery, but he kinda reached the wrong solution.
This probably isn’t enforced anymore.
There is a medieval law here that has never been repealed: all males over the age of 14 are required by law to practice longbow for at least two hours per week.
Some of these laws are so silly, they make you wonder what event happened that put them in place.
I think everyone has done this.
"Forbidden to pee in the ocean". I live in Portugal.
'Like a piss in the ocean' is literally a euphemism for something not mattering. What's the problem?
Tigers are fine, though.film history GIF by DiggGiphy
It's illegal to bring a lion to the movies.
Somebody better have a conversation with MGM.
You can't carry a salmon suspiciously.
"No officer, I was going to eat it later"
"Seems suspicious you were carrying it around in public. I'm gonna have to take you in for questioning."
What is the backstory here?
It's illegal to sleep on top of a refrigerator outdoors here.
I know this is Pennsylvania, but I forget the exact reasoning, but I think it has something to do with homeless people.
These next few laws will definitely make you question these towns’ legitimacy when it comes to lawmaking.
Poor raccoons.raccoon stealing GIFGiphy
In Virginia, it's illegal to "hunt or kill any wild bird or wild animal, including any nuisance species" on Sundays. However, it is permissible to kill raccoons.
How the heck is this enforced?
I don't know if this is still a thing anymore, but in Texas it used to be illegal to own more than six dildos.
It's illegal to own any at all in Alabama unless the owner has a letter from a doctor claiming a legitimate medical need.
Granted, most of these laws were written a very long time ago. But it makes you wonder, what the heck were these original lawmakers doing? And what event happened that needed these laws to be enforced at all?
If some of these laws don't make you want to be a criminal, then I don't know what will