Almost every movie that shows a person in labor also shows at least one other person there with them offering the helpful and unique guidance for them to "push!" I didn't think much of it until I had children of my own - but I can now assure you that it's the most needles, useless, and likely rage-inducing advice you can give in that moment.


See, pushing is pretty involuntary. Your uterus is going to hit the eject button whether you want it to or not. Women who are unconscious or even brain dead have given birth before. Yelling at someone who is in active labor to push is completely and totally 100% useless advice.

Reddit user Wolf_Godd asked:

What's the most useless advice you've ever received?

As it turns out, there is plenty of useless advice to go around. Buckle up, dear readers. Things are about to get big-time frustrating.

Choices

"If you just let go of all the things affecting you then you won't be depressed anymore! You're just choosing to be sad."

Gee thanks mum, I appreciate the advice

- Kersey_gurl

"Just think happier things. You're in control of your own happiness."

Eff you, grandma. I needed therapy and you shrugged it off and told me this. Even after what I did, when I needed help, you said 'tell no one. It makes me feel like a bad parent.'

You are.

- maxxy_yxxam

In Person

Giphy

"Just go and apply for jobs in person."

I live in a city where no one is hiring or taking resumes in person.

- vo1dofficialcdn


This was the conversation I had with my in-laws. That's not how it works now.

Also, had grandma's neighbor tell me to use her method to get a good job - just put the skills they are looking for on your resume and figure it out as you go đź‘Ś

To clarify - she was suggesting pretty extreme lying that would get you fired real fast. Like "apply to be an accountant and figure it out as you go!" Clearly, that will come crashing down when your prospective employer asks for your credentials/education. She wasn't suggesting that fibbing about MS Excel proficiency would work.

- kittycoppermine

Acne Cures

Acne? Just drink more water and wash your face!

- aRationalShill

This advice gives me more acne than a whole week without washing.

- Ripex1802

I was always a well hydrated, healthy kid. I had cystic acne. For like four years I tried everything, it didn't go away until I was 18/19. I think some people just get stuck with acne as a part of puberty.

- Mahicheh

Marry For Love ... Kinda

From my mother: "Marry someone who loves you more than you love him. I was more in love with your father than he was with me, and I was miserable. I married [stepdad] who loves me more than I love him, and I'm happy now."

She cheated on dad with the guy who would become my stepdad, which was why her and dad's marriage ended.

- bobcatluv

Thanks, Karen

Giphy

"Have you tried eating healthy and exercising?"

Wow, Karen, I'm at a loss for words. I never even thought to try eating healthy and exercising. You've singlehandedly cured my debilitating mental illness!

- taintblister

My husbands mom is actually named Karen and tried to give me this advice when I was going through a depressive episode. I had suffered chronically for many many years, diet and exercise were not my cure.

- Mermaidfishbich

Forgiveness

"You should forgive your mother! She has your best interests at heart!"

My mom nearly killed me through abusing me for the first six years of my life, but thanks.

- raleighwh2001

The Obvious

me having an asthma attack

Them: "Just breathe"

Me: what the hell do you think I'm tryna do?

- mathclassd00dles

Also, during a panic attack, "don't panic"

- MyStonedPosts

Bullying

Just avoid him (the bully). You can't. You don't have the freedom in school to avoid anyone and They seek you out anyways.

I made sure to never say this to my kids.

- pamacdon


I hate to say it but if my son ever asks I have to tell him the truth -- it didn't stop till I got violent in response.

I am grateful my son is 99th percentile and that he is probably going to be the biggest in the room everywhere he goes in life, though -- with a little luck it will be something he never has to deal with.

- Resolute002

The Real World

"Have fun in college. After you graduate, you'll be in the 'real world'." I've been married for almost two years, and work part-time in addition to attending college. I'm sure the real world isn't too different.

- _austinm

People who give this advice seriously must not have had to work through college.

Unsurprisingly, just working is easier than working AND going to school. It was a huge relief to finally be done with school and actually get paid for what you put work into.

- MermaidFishBich

Ding ding.

College used to be a fairly inexpensive romp for previous generations..they don't get that nowadays it is essentially a desperate gamut that you must succeed at due to the fact it will cripple your finances for life.

- Resolute002

Cancer

Giphy

As a cancer survivor, if i had a dollar for every time someone told me i should have done "X" and i never would have gotten cancer. A few examples include:

Eating more lemons and rubbing coconut oil all over my body

Drinking caster oil in the morning after you wake up

Avoiding acidic foods

Eating acidic foods ("cancer cells hate acid")

Stop eating sugar ("cancer cells love sugar")

There are countless more.

- Humakavula1

Photo by UX Gun on Unsplash

No one wants war.

Keep reading... Show less
Pexels.com

So let's talk about how a dog owner on Facebook learned her dog's "adorable" behavior was, in fact, furious masturbation.

Readers, if you know anything about me you know I love a good plot twist and I love chonky puppers.

Yesterday, life combined my two great loves in a hilarious and inappropriate way.

I was mindlessly scrolling through my dog groups on Facebook when a video with a few hundred laugh reacts but almost no comments caught my eye.

The still from the video was a pudgy little Frenchie, so obviously I had to read and watch.

Keep reading... Show less
Photo by Jason Leung on Unsplash

Have you ever fantasized about what it would be like to win the lottery? Having money for the rest of your life, as far as the eye can see, to cover your expenses.

And have you thought about all the things you would buy if you could really afford them? Are they ALL practical things, or are some of them silly?

We always love to fantasize about what life would be like if money were no object. And you are not alone!

Keep reading... Show less
Photo by Victor He on Unsplash

One of the most freeing realizations I've had was when I understood that not everyone was going to like me.

That's just the way it is for all of us, and I learned that it would be unfair for me to dedicate so much time worrying about what others might think.

It changed my life—improved it, I'd say.

That, combined with my willingness to take responsibility for my own actions, was crucial to my self-development.

Whether it's an epiphany or experience, there are many things that can happen and can successfully shift your perspective.

People shared their stories after Redditor drewyourstory asked the online community:

"What life event or experience changed your perspective?"
Keep reading... Show less