Reddit user KiwiPangolin asked:
"You meet your 13 year old self, but you can only tell them 3 words. What do you say and why?"
They say humans really only want health, wealth, and happiness ...
Turns out Reddit is not only much more hopeful about their 13-year-old selves than I am, but the answers pretty much all fell into one of those categories. Happiness won by a mile, though.
Warning: Unexpected Feels Trips Ahead.
Health - Your Teeth
Dentist GIFGiphy"Brush your teeth."
- mynameisusama
"My teeth feel so much better since I started flossing after every meal a couple years ago."
"I floss after every meal I eat at home and it's a huge improvement."
- Zerilentix
"Can I show them my teeth as well? My 13 year old self wouldn't give a feck what my 30 year old self says unless I give physical examples. My teeth are, unfortunately, great examples of why."
- Andminus
Health - Don't
" 'Don't smoke, dumbass' "
"I smoked from 14 to 30. I tried quitting about 12 times and it never took."
"Then I talked to my doctor and she had me try a medication. After two or three weeks I didn't want to smoke. I finished the full two months prescription and have been nicotine free for six years."
"Don't give up. It is possible to quit, you just need to keep trying until you find what's right for you."
"Even if you can't quit completely, just try smoking less often."
- chef_in_va
"I told my Dad not to smoke every single day growing up."
"I used to throw fits when I was a kid because I knew how bad it was for him and I had watched my grandmother die from it at 64."
"He's made it to 73, but he virtually immobile due to COPD."
- AKSupplyLife
Wealth - Invest
"Invest Amazon 2003"
- uncaringbear
"Ah yes, because 13 year old who just hears an adult stranger saying 'invest amazon 2003' is totally going to start investing their pocket money in that."
- FartingBob
"You heavily invest in the Amazon rainforest only to have 70% of it destroyed by 2030."
"You are destitute."
- captaingigglesworth
Wealth - A Little Slap
Big Brother Fight GIF by 20th Century Fox Home EntertainmentGiphy" 'No student loans.' "
"Then I'd slap myself to drive the point home."
- TravelingGleeman87
"And for me, a double slap—'Don’t ever co-sign!!' ”
- Sarcastic_babs
Happiness - Jeff
"DON'T MARRY JEFF"
- AlmostAlwaysADR
"This is mine too, and it’s the same name. Jeff is a prick."
- noimneverserious
"I seriously dislike every person I've met named Jeff. It's incredible."
"My born again Christian uncle, a co-worker at a movie theater who was a close friend and then stabbed me in the back, a co-worker I had about two years ago who was so f*cking annoying and incompetent... all Jeff."
"I don't hate a lot of people but that's three people I do. Like 90 percent of people I hate are named Jeff."
- catsinspace
"Must be a Jeff thing. My 3 words would be 'Don't date Jeff' "
- [Reddit]
Happiness - 5 Years To Make A Difference
"Here’s what I’d do: first I’d show young-me my college ID pic that I took at 18 years old. I’m 23 now, so the image looks enough like me and enough like him for him to understand and believe who I am."
"Then I’d shout slowly but as loud as I can:"
“ 'Dad pancan 2017' ”
"Hopefully he’d look up what 'pancan' is, and see that it refers to pancreatic cancer."
"2017 is the year he got diagnosed with stage 4, he died 2 years later, but if we had checked even earlier we might’ve detected it sooner and at a smaller stage, he may have survived."
"I was 13 in 2012 so I’d have 5 years to make a difference if I got that message to myself."
"Hope I was smart enough at 13 where if this scenario had occurred I could’ve done something about it. If not, well… at least I’d know how much time I had left with him."
"Definitely could’ve appreciated him more, he was the best dad in the goddamn world."
- Philander_Chase
Happiness - Talk About It
water sea GIFGiphy"Talk about drowning."
"When I was 12, I almost died in a rip tide on a trip with a friends family."
"The family I was with told my parents it was nothing (afraid of lawsuit perhaps) but told me that they had told my parents the whole story."
"Basically, the lifeguard saved me at the last minute, and the rip tides were so bad the beach was shut down for days afterwards."
"My parents never knew a life guard had to save me and were told I got scared and over reacted."
"The ptsd from almost dying (I had given up and was dying when the lifeguard reached me) led to depression and drug use as a teen."
"If my parents had known I truly gave up and thought I was dying and was ok with it, they would have gotten me therapy and my whole life would have been different."
- sassycatastrophe
Happiness - 30s Rock
" 'Wait two decades.' "
"She struggled with suicidal thoughts in her later teenage years and when her baby was first born."
"Knowing that The Good Sh*t (tm) happens when she's in her 30s should keep her going... and hopeful."
- insertcaffeine
"Mine was '30’s are AWESOME!' "
"My childhood and teenage years were good. My late 20s were the hardest years you can imagine."
"My life didn’t truly start until my 30’s. And I’m sure to tell as many teenagers as I can!"
- iluvcuppycakes
"35 here, and this is the truest thing."
"I was a young teen mom who struggled and struggled… just one thing after another, homeless for a short time, broke, domestic violence, etc, etc… until my 30s."
"Finally got to finish school, I don’t literally have to work 7 days a week while trying to be a good mom, and I’ve found a great 'balance' ”
"I’ve been looking for something my entire life. Not anymore."
"I’m able to prioritize being healthy and I’ve overcome the negative body issues (thinking I’m fat no matter what), but I’m still young enough to look and feel good."
"In all honesty, my 30s are the best times of my life, so far."
"I have time to listen and enjoy my kids, support their hobbies, businesses, and dreams. I finally own a home. I can finally go on vacations. 30s rock for me."
- Embarrassed-Tap9458
Happiness - Kimmy
" 'Yes Kimmy California.' "
"My sister wanted to move to California near where I was living."
"My life was really complicated at the time and I actively discouraged it. My marriage was a mess and I was afraid it would make it worse."
"She stayed where she was. About a year later she was killed by a drunk driver."
"My marriage ended."
"I would do literally anything to still have my sister here."
"Maybe that message to 13 year old me would make sense when it came up later and I would know to say yes when she asked about moving."
- purplecrazypants2
Happiness - Choose Art (?)
" 'Choose Art School.' "
"My entire college career was based on:"
" 'This will let me earn $X. Do business, do CS, do Cybersec. It’ll impress dad and the family. Artists starve and money = happiness anyways.' ”
"Made really good money in the business world before graduating and realised how little my degree helped me."
"All I wanted to do was animation for other people and that’s all I ever dream about."
"Should have done what I wanted to do instead of being a people-pleaser for so many years."
- Bryans-Ghost
"I did go to art school, and I was going to tell myself the exact opposite:"
" 'No art school!' "
"I wish I had done something practical like CS because it sucks to be financially unstable."
- lacksleepdna
So what would YOU tell your 13 -year-old self?
And do you think you'd have listened anyway?
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While their intentions are good, sometimes the words of wisdom friends throw around are so hackneyed, that the person feeling dejected over their circumstances is better off without them.
Do they truly mean what they say as it applies to the situation, or do they just want them to "get over it?"
It depends on the situation, of course, but many of us are keen to identify the fake niceties.
Curious to hear from strangers online, Redditor Noiv3rn asked:
"What life advice can just f'k off?"
When it comes to bullies, some people think confronting the issue head on is always best.
Ignorance Is A Miss
"If you just ignore, they will go away."
– whaldener
Lesson For Bullies
"School is prison rules. Hurt your bully. Make them scared of you."
"You land one really solid punch, and take the punishment the school gives you. Whatever suspension or whatever you have to deal with is worth getting your bullies to lay off."
– coleosis1414
Not About Winning
"My dad told me to fight back with everything I have, while paying for karate lessons for me. When I told him I didn’t think I could win the fight because my bully was so much bigger, he said 'You don’t have to win. You just have to be more trouble than you’re worth.'"
– Incongruent
Love makes people do crazy things, said a famous person recently. Crazy things shouldn't involve pain, however.
Tainted Love
“'He’s only picking on you because he likes you.' It’s not advice, just promoting an unhealthy relationship dynamic. Pisses me off."
– Merely-Zero
Shove With Love
"Yeah I got pushed off the monkey bars and cracked my head open in second grade by some little boy who kept bothering me."
"When I returned to school the next day with a stitched up head, the teacher told me 'He just does that because he secretly likes you. That’s how boys show it.' I believed her. :("
– Munich11
Unqualified Therapist
"literally my therapist when I was in middle school said that this guy was bullying me because he liked me. No, the kid was just an absolute a**hole."
"So glad that therapist is no longer in business, she messed me up as well as my mom, pinning my ADHD on her as if i didn't have it, it was all her fault for raising me badly."
– Blundering_Dragon
Not all rules or advice apply.
Flaws Of Authenticity
"Be yourself, and don't compromise for anyone."
"No. Sometimes you suck and need to improve."
– flash17k
Easy For Them To Say
"Any advice given by people who clearly lack personal experience to be grounded in reality."
"Rich people saying 'money doesn’t buy happiness'. Pretty people saying 'looks don’t matter'. People who’ve been handed everything saying 'you need to work hard for things'. Politicians saying 'cheaters never prosper.'"
– sketchysketchist
It's Written In The Stars
"Everything happens for a reason"
"Doesn't mean it's a good reason..."
– Abigale_Munroe
Live To Work
"Any advice that encourages people to spend every waking minute grinding, and to sacrifice sleep/rest to increase those minutes. I don't get up at 5am, I don't work until 11pm, I don't log on when I'm not working that day. I work my 40 hours a week and any time outside of that is my own time, otherwise what the f**k am I working for at all?"
– BaseballFuryThurman
Level Playing Field
"We all get the same 24 hours".
– Throwaway_Tenderloin
"Yeah this is bullsh*t. Jeff Bezos doesn't have the same 24 hours I have, and I daresay he never did."
– Salarian_American
Dated Perspective
"College is the only way to open successful doors in life. A fun thing most old people say (half the time never went or finished college themselves) while thinking you can still buy penny candy today."
– _BluLeaf
Any time I hear someone tell me "if it's meant to be it will be," oftentimes it ends up meaning that it will never be.
Did I lose out on the audition because it just wasn't meant to be? No, there were other hopefuls in the room better suited for the role than myself, but I've landed jobs where I put in the work and was better prepared than most.
For me, relying on fate is just lazy. Luck helps, sure.
But, in my experience, I believe that applying yourself and making more of an effort gets you noticed most endeavors.
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Stop being stupid would be my first guest. There is a lot of stupid. And don't smack people. (Cough Cough)
Bodacious...
surprised keanu reeves GIFGiphy"Be excellent to each other."
pnotar
"…and party on, dudes!!!"
Theformat420
Communities
"I read somewhere that if you want to change the world, you have to change the community, to change the community change your relationships, and to change your relationships change yourself."
cagibaxii
"And this saying is why I believe in the necessity of shame, accountability and consequences. Without those, one can't even change themselves. In fact, the worst of them goes unpruned and unchecked. That makes them worse, which makes their relationships worse, which makes the community worse."
thatswhatshesaidxx
Elsa Says...
“'Let go or be dragged' and old zen proverb I heard at a meditation class. Really changed the way I let myself worry about things."
civagigi
"When you can't let go of an issue - whether that's being upset over an injustice, or obsessed over a possibility- if you don't 'let go' then it may take over your life and prevent you from being happy."
clayxa
Save the World
"Don't leave plastic laying around."
TheDarkSoulHunter
"Or just stop using so much of it in the first place."
SailorSpoon11
"There is no simple rule in existence that could change the world. Multiple that can make it vastly better though."
Ill_Ratio_5682
STRIKE!!
“Forget it, Dude. Let's go bowling.”
Bonhomme7h
"Great to be the owner of bowling places then."
Crazy-yzarC
Bowling. Bowling always helps. Bowling and karaoke. Try it...
Dirty $$$
Angry The Daily Show GIF by Comedy CentralGiphy"Keeping money out of politics."
-domi-
"If we taught critical thinking skills in school, money in politics wouldn't be nearly as effective."
AmericanScream
Good Behavior
"Treats others how you want to be treated."
AlbanyGuy1973
"Doesn't work: Some people WANT to be treated like crap (masochism). Others are incapable of treating everyone like the king or queen they think they are."
P4intsplatter
"This one is bad. Treat others how you think they want to be treated would be an improvement, although it relies on you being pretty good with empathy and stuff."
Quinlov
Upset with someone?
"Any clear communication. People cant read minds so one must use communication. Upset with someone? Talk to them about it, come up with a way to resolve the issue. Pulling away from people cause of a tough time in life, let them know you're going through stuff."
"Try to minimize the potential for a loss in translation so that all sides are understanding each other as much as possible. If theres a roadblock in communication, take a step back and think about how you're viewing it vs them and how you can better understand each others sides."
dalcer
Turn Correctly!
"Use your turn signal(s) properly."
futilelord
"I live in northern Wyoming and it's the same way here. There's about a 50% chance that a person will use their turn signal, almost everybody is driving a massive vehicle, tailgating is the norm now, nobody knows what a safe following distance is anymore, stop lights and stop signs are viewed as suggestions, and the cops don't do anything about it. Driving used to be fun but now it feels more like you're playing with your life every time you go out."
Minmach-123
Be a Light
Be Kind Animation GIF by Red & HowlingGiphy"Be generous and humble. Being generous and kind encourages us to perceive others in a more positive light and fosters a sense of community. Humility teaches you to improve and make a positive impact on the world."
SuvenPan
Not Renewable
"Don't use more resources than what the earth is capable of renewing."
DeathSpiral321
"Yea it's like the debate on fur coats vs those made from polyester, fur coats when properly sourced are much more sustainable."
"With furs, we run the risk of over killing animals and harming ecosystems. That being said, they are biodegradable and if properly maintained, can last much longer. Polyester made clothing however, emits a lot of pollution during its production and takes much longer/doesn't biodegrade nearly as well."
Boomerang
"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."
Black-Shoe
"Better hope you never run into a masochist."
EmperorG
Hush Up
"If you are not educated on the subject, sit down and stfu. Let the experts with years of education and experience talk."
Ch3m1cal420
"The problem here is that there are topics where the real experts aren't scientists but the people who experience it. These often are overlooked."
otaku_ftm_aspie_blue
Hey Neighbor
"TOLERANCE! and the good neighbor policy you stay on your side of the fence and don't bother me and I'll do the same. Got it."
Last-Voice-Of-Reason
"Deep thinking"
"Be kind to each other. Period."
NoBSforGma
"Deep thinking."
"These are not questions that can be answered easily or quickly. (Except that one for the addict because that usually leads to.... death.)"
"If everyone was kind to each other, there would be no murders, no starvation, no wars. Can you improve on that? Children would not be abused, women would not be raped. Just think about it."
go away gtfo GIF"The problem with that is the decisions you make effect others in society in some cases. Should I be able to drive whatever speed I want and not stop at stop lights even though I might kill some innocent bystander along the way?"
Farmer_j0e00
reducing the discrepancy...
"You can only earn within 1 std deviation of the average income, level out income. This just came into my head, so not sure if it would work... maybe 2 std deviations. But reducing the discrepancy between the rich and poor would do a lot."
istcmg
"Hate it. As it stands in the realm of human attraction if you're a 5'3" ugly guy you're about 1,000 std devs below average. However you can work your arse off and be competent and successful and make some of that up by also being many std devs above average financial success."
"Even if you do that, you're not as well off as someone born tall and good looking: it's still the consolation prize because unlike them you had to work for it, and you'll know anyone in a relationship with you is there grudgingly and would really like someone else more. Who the hell are you to take that small grain of hope of some kind of decent life away?"
zipporah-the-third
Stay Calm
Game On Fighting GIF by Shalita GrantGiphy"Simple, the non-aggression principle. You don't do, initiate or threat any harm unto others, unless acting in true self defense."
ufrag
Energy Save
"The lights should be off but the others are actually on as a result of energy protection. You wouldn’t want the surge of industrial power on and off like that. It’s actually more efficient to leave them on as most models now require less energy to keep consistent temperatures than to surge and cover a wider range of returning to the desired temperature. The lights thing does need to go. Light pollution is problematic."
-Sairax-
What have we learned? Be better, it's really that simple.
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