Being a teacher is one of the most soul-draining careers available. Every year you're blessed a group of students, with some of them actually excited to learn. While you can't teach everyone, you can reach out to them on an emotional level, connecting on things not always taught from a curriculum book.
However, you have to be ready for what they might say when they finally feel comfortable enough to open up to you.
Reddit user, u/DATCATGOSPLAT, wanted teachers to tell all about:
Ask for help how to get over her laziness. She was getting regular migraines so would have to hide and sleep it off. Due to her parents she learned that this was laziness.
I had a 16 year old student say: "I heard my parents fighting downstairs last night. My 10 year old brother came into my room and got into bed with me crying, because he's just now realizing we don't have a normal family".
Reminds me of when I was 10 and shared a room with my little sister who was maybe 4-7. I had to comfort her because she was crying while my parents were fighting outside. And I was praying that night that my brother was asleep since he's a deep sleeper and wasn't crying alone in his room. It was a tough few years.
"My sister didn't wake up today." Her sister complained of headaches the night before because she hit her head. Parents didn't think anything was seriously wrong. They took her off life support a few days later, she was 9. Her sister? 5 years old.
I'm not a teacher, but in junior year a teacher asked a classmate of mine where he saw himself in 10 years, & he quietly replied "dead."
The number of students who don't expect to live past college is surprising. Multiple people my age (high schooler) have told me that they don't really have a plan for college because they probably won't be around that long anyway.
Assignment was to write a poem about something you liked to pretend. Students poem started "I like to pretend that I have friends." This was in first grade.
I teach kindergarten and a girl told me "my brother died" and went on loosely about how he died, but it was a while ago since I forgot the words.
Brother, 15, had an asthma attack, had no puffer on him, died.
Now she's very emotional and going through therapy at 5 years old. It's been probably three months.
Middle school, they went on a field trip yesterday and one kid was sad because they wouldn't be at school so he wouldn't get lunch. They were fed at the field trip, but he was totally concerned that he wasn't going to get fed that day.
Principal (to class on day one): "Kindergarten is not like pre-school. Attendance matters. It's very important that you be here everyday."
Kindergartner: "What if you have to get a blood transfusion?"
I'm trying to wrap my head around the circumstances where this even needs to be said to kindergartners. It's not like they have a lot of control over their own lives, what they have a big problem with 5 year olds playing hooky and smoking cigarettes in an alley?
I've had it all.
Middle school teacher of 9 years in a very poor district here. I have had students whose siblings died to gang shootings, cop shootings, have had homeless kids, a pregnant 7th grader in my class. I've had it all.
A couple in the running:
"My boyfriend was shot in front of me and died in my arms. The ambulance we called never arrived."
"Mom went to go stay with my older sister [three states away] for a while. She told me I'm in charge of [his twin 15 year old brother] and we need to make sure we stay at [specific shelter]" ... she never came back.
A visibly sick student in class "Mom said she's working, and I tried to call my dad. He hug up on me... He doesn't care about me anyways."
On the first day of school (and the first day of my career) "How was your morning?" "Dude took two to the chest on his front porch on my way to school, don't worry though, I didn't see his face, what are we doin' today?"
"Why should I even try? I'm just stupid anyway"
He has a learning disability and has a hard time with reading and that's not to mention his ADHD with ODD (he sees a therapist every week and is way better). This trickles down to just about every subject he has. It broke my heart when he said that.
A 6 year old preschool kid took my hand and wanted to show me something he had drawn. The drawing was in dark colors and sort of angry-looking. He explained that he had drawn his heart, which was broken and hurting very bad. He said it wasn't any fun when his heart hurt like that.
He was often being excluded from the group by his classmates, sometimes even bullied. He didn't have the social skills to communicate well with his friends, which led to him being very misunderstood even though he always meant well.
"Can you be my mom?" - 15 years old, totally serious.
"This is my real family." - different student referring to the teachers and friends at school.
"I don't deserve this" - teen when given a sweater on a very cold day.
I hear a lot of this stuff. I wish there was so much more I could do.
Sets of 2....
I co-taught a class one year and we had a few twins in our classes (split between different periods).
With one set of twins, one girl was a fantastic student. She was bright, conscientious, diligent, and was a joy to have in the classroom. Her sister, on the other hand, was a mess. Never knew what was going on, had a terrible attitude, was completely disorganized, and was often disruptive. If I ever called on her, she'd roll her eyes and say "ugh I don't know" as if I was being unreasonable in expecting she be able to answer a question about something I just said 3 seconds earlier.
My co-teacher met their parents at parent-teacher night. Apparently the parents spent most of the time talking about the "good" twin and actually called the other one "the bad twin" when they did talk about her.
I felt bad after hearing that.
Friend of mine adopted a student when he turned 18 because his parents abandoned him for being gay. They make a happy dorky little family. They always got along well, she had a soft spot for him, and he has somewhere to go on school breaks. 😁
Rips my heart right out of my chest.
My mother was a teacher for nearly 30 years. She spent the last 10 years at a middle school that was pretty hard up in the Tulsa public school system. She had a very good student who came to school every day in the same clothing. We can call him J. The clothing was always washed but even so around halfway through the year, his clothing was becoming tattered and stained. The other students began to notice and make comments. The school tried to give him clothing but he refused. He would not except a hand out.
A few teachers came up with a plan for the school put on a contest where the winner was given some new, very nice, school clothing. This contest was set up for J to win. This way he could have new clothing and not feel as though he was given anything.
J won the contest. He accepted the new clothing gladly. The next day he was still wearing his old clothes. My mom asked him why he was not wearing the new clothing.
"Those are my trophies. I have them hanging on my wall."
Rips my heart right out of my chest.
"Ms. Spidey, do you know how to get [local electric company] to turn your power back on? I get paid today, but they pay me on a card, so...do I get out cash and get a money order, and where do I take it to?"
Kid was sixteen.
But kid got their power turned back on, that day, all by themselves. I didn't do spit or biscuits but teach them how to talk to people in call centers and make the introduction to the CSR.
And then later their power bill got reduced, because the school social worker has programs for that sort of thing, the local power company sent them some energy-saving free stuff, including some lightbulbs (kid and their siblings had been short some lights at home for a while,) and we got their water and sewer discounted as well.
School social worker's a pal. Their surviving parent was trying, it's just hard with a parent of their own who isn't well, that many kids and two fast-food jobs.
Kid is in college now. Damn near full ride. Commutes from home to save money, puts their housing stipend towards the family rent, utilities and gas for their own old Toyota. Their parent looks like they just took their first breath in ten years.
I'm proud of all my students, but especially that one.
Last week I asked my freshmen what their weekend plans were, and one kid said he was finally meeting his birth mother. He was nervous and excited and said he had so many questions to ask her.
Monday rolls around and I see that he looks sad. I ask him how the meeting went and he said in the saddest voice, "she didn't show."
I wanted to cry right there.
High school teacher at a school for at risk youth so I get a lot of depressing stuff. I really bonded with one student about comic books and even let him borrow my first edition Umbrella Academy comics. He was homeless and living at a friends house on a yoga mat on the floor for the better part of a year. He asked me to adopt him :( wish I could, buddy. I wish I could. My students are the reason I want to become a foster parent though.
I'm a counselor for kids in the foster program.
Kid: "Why does everyone else in my class have one dad but I have different ones all the time?"
Foster program can be really tough on kids.
Me: "So, what are you most looking forward to when you go to college?"
Student: "Oh, I've never had my own bed to sleep in before."
"That seems like..."
I'm not a teacher, but when I was in school, a classmate, when asked to introduce herself said her name and that her parents died when she was young which is why she lived with her aunt and sat back down.
That seems like the sort of thing you learn to do so that everyone knows right off the bat. You don't have to constantly correct people, "Oh, it'll actually be my aunt, not my mom..." or deal with their shock and pity over and over again. This way you get it all over with in one fell swoop.
"The poor kids..."
Not me but my mother-in-law is a substitute nurse for a few schools, one of which is mostly pretty poor kids. Well at the beginning of one Friday a boy came with his backpack and his sister's to leave is for the nurse. He was kinda nervous/sad that the regular nurse was out and my MIL said "maybe I can help, what does she normally do with your backpacks?" He blurted out "she fills them with food for us!" The poor kids didn't have much food at home so that angel nurse was sending them home on Fridays with food to last them the weekend.
"I'm not a teacher..."
I'm not a teacher but my 3rd grade teacher was having a really bad day with many kids behaving badly. She had us line up and go to her desk one by one and tell her (quietly) if there was something upsetting us that day. I don't know what the other kids told her but I told her that my mom had shouted at me that morning "No one will ever love you!" Knowing my classmates and the area we were living in I'm sure she heard some sad stuff. She went on stress leave shortly thereafter.
Edit: Thank you for the kind comments. Yes, life got much better for me as an adult. I'm happily married now with three kids who get to worry about regular kid problems instead of dealing with verbal and physical abuse at home like I did and my mom did and probably her parents did.
Student: I want to play with my friend today, but her dad died, so she can't come over.
Me: oh no, I'm so sorry to hear that.
Student: yeah, my mom said God is punishing her.
I explained that "God" does not punish people like that and it is NOT her friend's fault that her dad passed away.
"Student of mine drops out..."
Other moments in my career that have touched me:
- Student of mine drops out to get a job, happens quite a bit because of the economy where we live. Student in question is couch hopping and trying to support himself and can no longer afford to not work, so I don't see him for 6 months. On his 19th birthday, he had the day off and you know what he did? He came to school to visit me, because he knew I would be happy to see him and he would get at least one happy birthday from someone who cares about him.
- Any time a student says anything like "You're the only one who cares about me." "You're the reason I come to school." "You're the reason I graduated." Etc. Kills me every time. Anyone can graduate high school but they lack the confidence in themselves to see it. I try so hard EVERY day to let them know they can do it, but they go home and get the opposite from their parents.
Some days I might be the only positive interaction a student has. I always say good morning when they come in and good bye when they leave, so they know they're being noticed. I try to always use their names when greeting them so they know it's specifically for them. I try to remember important dates for them, birthdays/court dates/if they're going to their driving test that day and congratulate them personally or ask how it went. I want them to know they're seen and someone cares.
"There was a student..."
There was a student who constantly said some pretty sad stuff like "my mommy doesn't like me", "I'm not getting presents for Christmas", "my mommy hit my daddy last night".
Turns out her mother was abusive to her (and her husband) and refused to even touch her. (Plus a lot of other terrible stuff) Her parents have split and she is now in a safe home where she is loved. She was only 4 at the time.
"When I was..."
When I was in training I worked in an inner city school, we were discussing what they wanted to be when they grow up and one 8 year old said, "It doesn't matter I'm going to be in a gang and dead before I'm 21."
It's hard when you see it in your own family though. One of my elementary schoolers was casually explaining to me how his brother is in prison for selling drugs because he couldn't afford a good enough lawyer.
"I've only been teaching..."
I've only been teaching for around nine months, but one sticks out.
I do a lot of 1-to-1 work with a reception-aged child (4-5) who has quite severe ADHD and needs constant supervision. I get to take him outside and do gross motor work with him, and I've really took a shine to him.
Broke my heart a couple of weeks ago when he was stopped by the deputy head and told off for running down the corridor. He burst into tears, which is completely unlike him, and said, "I just can't get the naughty out of my brain."
"A skinny nine year old..."Giphy
"I really need to lose some weight.. I'm SO fat!" A skinny nine year old of mine told me this.
"My student told us..."
My student told us that her mom was taken by ambulance to the hospital the night before after she stopped breathing. The other kids pressed her on what happened and she just shrugged and said her mom would be ok. Two days later, I got the word that her mom was brain dead. Her daughter had no idea. That Friday afternoon, I let the kids have an extra recess and watched my student play and laugh with all the other kids in the sun knowing that she might not be happy like that again for a long time.
"Not really something he said..."
Not really something he said, but when I was tutoring a Somali refugee student (he was 15 years old,) the students were told to draw pictures (of their background or life, I think.) He drew pictures of...... houses on fire.
"She never realized..."
Not a teacher but one of my close friends. I've known her since the start of high school. She never realized her home life was as bad as it was. She spoke about her mom neglecting her while the 14 foster cats they could barely afford to feed were spoiled rotten, and how eating the same thing every night - her only meal for the day started to make her nauseous. The real kicker is that her mother got cancer, and as soon as she died, she said "I'm so glad she's dead.
I wish she'd died sooner." Or something along those lines. She was 16 when her mother died, and she's 18 now. She's never going to leave those horrible scars and the things she tells me about are horrifying.
She lives with her dad now and has a proper home, regular good meals, etc. I have no idea how her dad didn't get custody when she was a child. He's an amazing dad to her and would probably do anything to help her more.
"I'm expecting 2 months"
Foster Kid who left my school a few months ago. She has been to countless homes and foster families. Despite us thinking her current one is great, she still expects they will leave.
Growing up in foster care, I never lasted anywhere more than 10 months. My entire childhood, after being taken from my birth dad (who was not abusive in the least, just not great at taking care of a kid), I never had the same family for more than 10 months. Usually much shorter than that.
I still struggle to stay in one place for an extended period. It's like the uneasiness of not moving claws at my insides.
"Can I have a Band Aid?"
I had a 7 year old ask me for a bandaid. When I asked her what was wrong and she pulled up her shirt to reveal a big burn in the middle of her chest.
Mum had put a cigarette out in her "because she was being naughty."
"Don't waste your time with me, I won't be able to learn this, I'm too stupid for this."
A student from 12th grade said this to me while trying to explain him properties of exponents and logarithms.
I could not believe a 17 year old thinks he's a failure so early in life. He had the attitude of someone who just gave up on trying to learn things.
"She was 7."
"I have never [met] my parents."
She was 7.
This will get buried, but just yesterday I asked one of my special needs kids how his 2 dogs, Goofy and Mickey, are doing.
He said, "Mickeys at the pet store."
We had a really bad snow storm on a Wednesday and a Thursday. On Friday, we had classes again, but like half the kids were missing for obvious reasons. During morning circle, we went around the room and talked about what everyone did during the snow days.
One girl said that she'd cried a lot because there wasn't much to do at her dad's, and she was so hungry because there wasn't enough food. We sent her home with as many extra snacks and breakfasts (cereals, bars, etc) as we could fit in her bookbag, but I still went home and cried that night. She was 7.
"I won't be able to turn in my homework today."Giphy
"I won't be able to turn in my homework today."
"My parents got in a really big fight yesterday. Things got crazy so I wasn't able to do my homework. Can you tell the rest of my teachers for me, please?"
"I just want someone to like me."
11 year old autistic kid in special ed that was bullied on the regular. Said to me in private: "I don't know why I act out all the time... I just want someone to like me." To which I answered "Well, I like you, I want to be your friend.". Kid goes: "I really like that you want to be my friend, but I would like a classmate to want to be my friend too..."
Yeah, tears were shed.
"Asked a kid..."
Asked a kid/student of mine what she wanted to be when she grew up. She said she didn't want or need a job, because her mum doesn't have a job and she gets 500 pound a week (welfare). I almost resigned on the spot.
"One day I heard a kid..."
Not a teacher, but have had many a 'leader' role with groups of kids. (Coach, instructor, scouts, etc). I always went out of my way to make sure every thing we did was fun. I'm a giant kid myself. Imagine hockey coaches standing near the bench yelling to the little kids on what to do. I'm the one in a different Disney jersey every time, skating, diving, falling, laughing it up with the kids on the ice.
One day I heard a kid tell my son of the same age "Man I wish my dad was like your dad." You would think I would be happy about it, but no. It hit me hard. His dad was certainly not like me, and this kid had a difficult home life. For him to actually say he wished his dad was like me hurt. It was a double edge sword. Its a moment I'll never forget.
"Mary won't be here today, her mom died last night."
Student: "Mary won't be here today, her mom died last night."
Me: "Wait, didn't her dad pass away a few weeks ago?"
Both parents died suddenly within a few weeks of each other from different medical conditions.
"I teach pretty much exclusively college freshmen..."
I teach pretty much exclusively college freshmen and by that point they all have that fatalistic sense of humor anyway, but it gets real sad when they get to the end of their rope. Nothing specific that I can remember, but a lot of "why did I think I could make it in college" "I'm too stupid for this I should drop out" and they actually mean it. Stuff like that.
Monday however a student asked to talk to me before class and said "I know this paper is important and all and I don't want you to hate me but I couldn't get my paper done..." and I'm used to this sort of thing, I mean, it's just natural, but then he take a deep breath and blurts out "my dad called me last night and told me he was leaving my mom and moving away so he's leaving me too and I just couldn't deal with it, I'm really sorry if you're mad at me." It just hits me hard when they have to deal with more than they should and on top of that they think I've formed a personal opinion of them and that I'm going to think badly of them based on something like this.
"Please don't send me home."
5 year old preschool girl with 103 degree fever, sicker than sick. She BEGS the nurse, "please don't send me home." She was allowed to sleep in the nurse's office until the end of the day.
That was about 2.5 years ago. A few months later she was removed by CPS and has been with a foster family (me) for nearly 2 years now.
"What's the point...?"
I ran holiday science workshops, filled with brainy kids as you'd expect. There was an 11 year old girl who was brilliant at everything, the content was clearly beneath her. Very quiet, respectful, well liked by the other kids. Her parents were moving soon because she received scholarships to a prestigious school. Whenever her dad came to pick her up he was obviously proud, telling me about all her achievements, how she was in advanced classes, just won all these sports awards too, etc. Showed videos and photos of her winning all these soccer games.
They enrolled her younger brother in similar sessions. He gave it a go in the first few but really struggled, always the last to finish and felt his work didn't look as good as the others. Looked embarrassed to ask for help. He screamed at his sister when she tried to fix his circuit. Eventually he just began acting out, putting off the work, challenging me to get a laugh out of the other kids, messing around. After a disastrous month he stopped trying altogether.
He just came in one afternoon and sat there, not doing anything. I tried to engage him in the activity and said if he didn't like what the other kids are doing, we could pick anything else he wanted to do. He said something like, "What's the point. My parents will never love me as much as they love my sister."
"Can we use the student computer?"
I've had a lot but one morning two students came in early to my room and asked if they could use my student computer. I said sure, and figured that they just needed to finish a project and knew I always got to school early.
Turns out their best friend was murdered 2 days before because he wouldn't give his money he earned to someone trying to rob him. His family needed the money to not be homeless, so he died trying to look out for his family (and for like $80 or something).
My students were creating flyers and a gofundme so they could try to help the parents not be homeless, and to afford a funeral.
To make matters worse, the kid was murdered on a Saturday. He was left to bleed out and die, to be found the next morning. Murderer CAME TO MY SCHOOL on Monday as if nothing had happened. Cops pulled him out of the class in the middle of the day once they had figured out it was him.
They Shoot Me Up
I had a student that frequently lingered in my classroom after school. She often looked ill and was always very weird. One day she opened up to me and said that her mother and her live-in boyfriend shot up heroin every night. I told my principal after she spoke to me and she informed that CPS was already involved. A few days later the same girl told me that her mom and boyfriend would shoot her up with heroin and tell her that she couldn't tell anyone they were still doing it because she would get in trouble for doing it too. She asked me to keep it a secret (which I obviously couldn't) because she was worried she'd get arrested for drug use.
She no longer lives at home thankfully.
"One of my students..."
One of my students calls me dad, because his dad is abusive and I am not. Worth noting the student is trans, and that is why his dad abuses him. All I do is respect his pronouns. Also worth noting, I am a woman living in the Deep South, and I still let him call me dad because it makes him happy, even though him calling me something unprofessional/me respecting his pronouns could get me fired. All his lgbtq friends have picked up on it as well. I am considered a "safe teacher". Maybe not as heartwrenching as others, but it breaks my heart.
"My dad told my therapist that he never wanted to have a kid. He didn't even bothered to ask me to leave the room"
Broke my heart.
"One of the items..."
I'm not a teacher, but one drama lesson we started by playing a little game, we were given an object and had to pretend it was something else but that object.
One of the items was a empty cardboard box, and it was passed around the circle as such items like footballs, hats, boxing gloves.. etc etc. But when it got to this one boy, he opened the box, looked inside and said 'this isn't a cardboard box, it's my will to live' and passed it onto the next person with no facial expression whatsoever.
He didn't mean it (hopefully) and laughed afterward, but it sure did result in an awkward silence for a few seconds.
"I eventually asked..."
I work as a guidance counsellor for a high school. I was helping one girl with university applications, and she kept saying "I don't know" whenever I asked her about a certain school, program, etc.
I eventually asked if she had any ideas of where she might like to apply to, and she said "I don't think it matters, I'll be dead before I graduate".
I found out she had been admitted to the hospital days later for a failed suicide attempt. This was a few years ago; she visited me last week to show me her acceptance letter to uni AND her one year clean of self harm token.
And there are just as many grievances for which we are not at all sorry.
Curious to hear about people's track record of their questionable behavior, Redditor NanoPKx asked:
"What is something bad you have done with no regrets?"
Is it petty theft or flat out stealing? You decide.
The Parting Gift
"'Forgetting' to bring back a company ipad after they forgot about me having it. Actually they never asked for it back so I still have it and use it."
"I stole a barn kitten while delivering packages for FedEx. He kept climbing my legs and getting into the van, sitting under the wheel when I tried to back out (it was a steep driveway, no way to swing the van around). I called the number on the package, looked the name up on facebook, called the local non-emergency to get contact info, all failed."
"So I took him. Now, if you're not from a rural environment, you might not understand that barn cats like that are 'no-man's-cats.' For all the owners know, he got sick or got got by a coyote. And he would have died, because when we got him to the vet he had a nasty upper resp infection and some other nasties."
"Now, one deformed nasal passage and the cutest snore later, we have a bonkers little orange cat with the heaviest penchant for snuggling I've ever seen (his name is Monty btw)."
"Edit: I forgot to pay my Cat Tax: https://imgur.com/a/HIXS4us"
"Edit Part 2: Monty loves the attention. Thank you for loving him as much as we do :3"
"MmmmMMMMRrrrrrrrrrrAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAW" -Montgomerey Valentine, 2022
The Dirty Treat
"A housemate of mine kept eating mine and my girlfriends food and even though I asked him to stop the only thing he would ever say is 'I thought it was mine' then keep eating it."
"Well I bought my girlfriend some ice cream she really enjoys and she put the half she didn’t finish back in the freezer. Well when she want to get the rest it was gone and it made me madder than I think it probably should have."
"The very next time I saw him and somehow keeping a straight apologetic face I told him how he accidentally ate our sex ice cream and that bits of it had been on our parts etc. I told him I felt guilty not to tell him and that I had to apologise for him to eat such a thing."
"I will never forget the face he made when I told him. A face of pure self disgust and shock to which all he had to say was 'I wish you never told me that' and proceeded to move out around a month later."
"Although he didn’t actually eat sex ice cream, like why the f'k would you put it back after use anyway? Sometimes I wonder if I went to far but in that moment I just did not care at all. He still doesn’t know it isn’t true and I’ll probably never see him again."
"F'k you Vitas buy your own food."
Vengeance is sweet.
"A drunk driver hit my parked car, left a huge dent in the front driver’s side door, and then drove away. I happened to be looking out the window at the time and saw the whole thing, including his plate number. Cops got there not long after and took my statement. After a couple days and a couple phone calls, I found out nothing was going to come of it because he was the son of the sheriff the next county over."
"Fast forward a couple months, I see his car parked behind a local bar within walking distance of my apartment. I got out my hunting knife and sliced all four of his tires, and made a couple trips around it destroying the paint job. Yellow Pontiac Sunfire, and I still remember the goddamn plate number even after almost 20 years."
For The People
"I was a GM for a retailer that was going out of business. During the liquidation I let my employees that worked until the end store product they wanted to buy in a closet I claimed I didn't have a key to. Oh the final days I sold them all the items they requested for 95% off. 70" tvs, ipads, gaming laptops whatever they requested."
"Years ago I worked for a wealthy dude who was married to someone semi-famous. He would waltz in every morning and talk about the fantastic dinner he had the night before, how he hung out with some other famous person or whatever else."
"He paid me peanuts. I had a hard time making ends meet."
"I was the office assistant and IT guy. So it comes time to get a new computer for one of the designers. I spec something out, and show it to him. It was a ripper of a machine for the time (early 2000s). But it wasn’t expensive enough for bossman."
"So I added a really high end graphics card. Boss was happy then. The card added nothing for the designer: they only did illustrator and photoshop."
"So I came in that weekend and swapped the graphics card for my aging one from home."
"No one ever knew. Or cared. And I got a new graphics card."
When times are tough, people had to do what it took to survive.
"In college I was so poor I would steal toilet paper from the supply closet in our major building."
Hungry College Buddy
"I stood watch for a college friend who was going hungry because he’d been disowned and his roommates had made living with him intolerable after he came out."
"I was loosely affiliated with an off campus program with local churches that gave free student dinners on Thursdays. We would go to church to eat, then bring dishes into the kitchen."
"Anyway, he would go in there and steal stuff like peanut butter, literal bread (not an allegory), granola bars etc. while I watched out for the pastor."
"Eventually we both got caught, the pastor for the college students got a bit mad because he was responsible for us while we were there to eat. And I think it was offensive on some level to steal from church. But then he saw what my friend was taking, and asked him if he had enough to eat. My friend shamefacedly said no, not usually."
“'Okay, fine. Put the food back, and come with me.' Took my friend grocery shopping instead, got him connected with the food pantry and community garden at church instead."
Based on these examples, people didn't twice about their actions in the heat of the moment.
Within reason, we all gotta somehow get by.
But do you think their actions deserve punishment?
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Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
When a person sees someone they care about going through a struggle or crisis, their instinct is to uplift them with positive advice.
But sometimes, the wisdom imparted by friends isn't always helpful or relevant to the situation.
Curious to hear from strangers online who could do without specific knowledge, Redditor Saibotnl1 asked:
"What life advice can just f'k off?"
These Redditors have a problem with how certain people have on outlook on life.
Time To Rest
"Sleep when you’re dead."
"Cool, but you’re going to be dead a lot sooner."
"People have it so much worse than you so don’t be sad!"
"To that I like to say, 'people have it so much better than you so don't be happy!'"
Your Life Path
"Almost anything relating to what age you must be in order to buy a house, have children, marry, have a profession, or do anything else. Seriously, everyone's life is different from everyone else's. Make your life the way you want it to be. If you so desire. Up to you."
On The Contrary
“Cheaters never prosper”
"Yes, they f'king do."
People can get out of any situation they find displeasing.
But others feel people should just "stick it out."
"Just ignore bullys or get someone else to handle it for you. I have never seen this work, only makes it worse. The only effective way I've seen to deal with them is by not making yourself an easy target and make them scared to f'k with you again. If going psycho on their a** is the only thing they'll respond to that's their fault. Also want to add in schools they will punish you for self defense but that punishment is only sitting around a few hours in detention or sitting around at home with a suspension. The punishment is temporary boredom, it's absolutely nothing compared to being bullied and when it's over the important message will still stand that you will not tolerate being a victim."
– User Delted
Remain to be Miserable
"Stick it out"
"Whether that's sh**ty jobs, shi**y relationships, shi**y living situations..."
"By all means don't just give up on things when you face challenges, but if something feels wrong or is wrecking your peace then take some control and change it if you can!"
"Easy for you to say," might be an auto-response to these suggestions for many people.
Invitation For Recklesslessness
"Live like everyday was your last"
Yall know what people do when they learn they have a single day left to live?"
A Possible Consequence
"I did that as a teenager and ended up homeless and addicted to heroin. Didn’t pan out for me too well."
"19 years sober though today."
A Practical Approach
"If I knew with certainty that I had one day left, I'd double-check all my financials, my will, and my insurance policies, make sure my wife had all of my passwords and knew where all the money was, spend the rest of the day with her and the kids, then call the medical examiner and ask to lie down on the gurney so that when I die they won't strain their back moving my remains out of my house."
Nose Stuck In A Book
"Work while they sleep. Study while they party"
"That's not a recipe for success, that's a recipe for a lot of white hairs, burnout syndrome and a stroke before your 40s..."
Doesn't Apply To Everyone
"Do what you love and money will follow"
"I love walking my dogs and grilling food for my friends but That sh*t doesn't pay the bills as well as my engineering degree!"
While people's intentions are good, they're better off keeping their two cents in their own pockets.
Not everyone likes to hear platitudes.
Sometimes, people just want to know they're not alone with their problems over listening to unlikely solutions that are nothing more than superficial pick-me-ups.
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Kids start going to school from the age of five, and for the most part, they spend more time at school than at home. Because of that, teachers can become very important figures in the lives of their students.
Some students don't have the best home lives. Some keep it to themselves, but others confide in their teachers.
Curious about various situations, Redditor Delicious_Mastodon83 asked:
"teachers of reddit what is the saddest thing you found out about a student?"
In Need of Parents
"Not a teacher but was a school-based therapist. Had a student (7 -8 y/o) I didn’t know knock on my office door and ask if I’d adopt her and “if you have room, my brother too, but if not, that’s ok, we can be split up. We’re split up now. And I don’t take up space. I just need a sleeping bag”. Broke my heart."
Heartbreaking, But Industrious
"My mom taught at a school in a bad neighborhood in Chicago in the mid 90’s. There was a second grader that would save his milk and ketchup packers from lunch for his mom so she had something to eat when she got home from work."
"Not a teacher but a parent with a 9 year old son. Every day I pack extra in my sons lunch because he tells me he has a friend that never has anything to eat. It's winter and my son came home and told me his friend was turning up with shorts and shirt and holes in his shoes. So I sent in a jumper and long pants for him to wear and some slightly used but good condition shoes. I have been up to the school recently and the teacher pulled me aside and thanked me profusely for helping this child. Apparently teachers are not allowed to aid kids they teach here in Australia and they have already reported the issue 3 times to child welfare without results so I was the only one helping this child. The teacher told me before I started sending in more food and clothes, this child would steal others food from their lunches and look through the bins because he was so hungry. They doubt he gets fed at home. So now I make sure to always send an extra lunch and some school clothes/supplies when I can. I can only hope child welfare eventually does something but it breaks my heart."
Amazing Big Sister
"It was right after winter break and before class started I was just talking with some students and asked if they got anything fun for the holidays. One girl said on no, I don’t ever get presents, my mom is a drug addict. But I went out and got some stuff for my little sister so that she can have a real Christmas."
"She just said it so matter-of-fact. She was so used to being the parent to her little sister that she didn’t even care about her own childhood. It totally broke my heart."
The Importance Of Human Affection
"Second hand story from my mom, elementary teacher for 30ish years. She had a hug or a handshake out the door policy, just some small contact and a proper goodbye, and had this young boy who always picked the hug. She wondered why he always went for it, most kids would go back and forth depending on their mood that day, so she asked him why he was always so excited for the end of day hug? His answer, "It's the only one I ever get.""
Coming Out The Other Side
"Two teenage boys (16/14) with learning disabilities were on my caseload, they never missed school but often ditched class. They were homeless mid-year after they went home from school to find the locks changed, their Mom had abandoned them for a new boyfriend. She didn't leave an address for them to find her."
"*Edit: both eventually dropped out, however a couple of years later the younger brother came back to visit. He and his brother were both working construction, and his brother had gotten married, had a child, and was living with his wife’s family."
"The younger had roommates and was saving for a car. He told me it was a shame I didn’t have kids, because I would make a good Dad."
"People often persevere, even with the odds stacked against them."
"Not me but my daughter is a teacher, she has lots of stories but one that stands out for me is one of her kindergarten kids saying she was tired and her asking why, the little girl explained that she had been up all night with her mums newborn baby. She did this every night, fed her bottles and everything."
Luckily, He Was Resilient
"This year I had a 17 year old kid enroll at my school. He was sitting in my math class and I could tell he was struggling. After class I took some extra time to go over a concept with him. I asked him to read the question to me, and he sat there silently. He then looked at me and said “I’m not going to lie to you, I cannot read. I have no idea how to say these words""
"Turned out at age 17 he was illiterate and had been kept out of school by his very religious, controlling parents. Over the past few months he has worked very hard! Now he can finally read at an 8th grade level and he is STILL improving!!"
– User Deleted
A Heroic Teacher
"I worked in an inner city charter school. One of my students (`M10) had a sib (M8) in a lower grade. The mom was there every day in the beginning of the year encouraging them, helping them and generally being very supportive... until a CPS agent spoke to me asking about her behavior. After CPS left things went downhill. The boys showed up late to class even though they lived a half block away from school. When in school both boys were tired from sleeping in the car while their mom "went fishing". She also had two very young girls which she dragged around making the boys take care of them. One day the boys didn't show up and their teacher walked over to the house to find the mom had loaded up the fridge, paid the rent for the month and abandoned them. The teacher (a candidate for sainthood btw) took them in, adopted them and grew them up to be great men."
This is really heartbreaking stuff! Luckily, teachers aren't just another adult in your life; they can be your saving grace as well.
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TRIGGER WARNING: This article contains sensitive content about depression and mental health.
As the stigma around mental health lessens (however slowly), people are more forthcoming about the problems they are facing. One of the most common mental health issues is depression.
Depression can affect many different types of people. Factors such as gender, race, nationality, and even age have no bearing on whether someone suffers from depression or not.
According to the World Health Organization (WHO), globally, "...an estimated 3.8% of the population affected, including 5.0% among adults and 5.7% among adults older than 60 years..."
Depression displays in certain patterns, such as mood changes, physical difficulties, and social isolation. However, depression manifests differently in different people and feels different to different people.
Reddit users divulged what depression felt like to them when Redditor iodineseaspray asked:
"What does depression feel like to you?"
Some of this is sure to sound familiar.
The Worst Kind Of Boredom
"Like being more bored than you could imagine but also not wanting to do anything at all, even breathe. So you want to do something, but you can't imagine anything that you would like to do so you're just sort of stuck."
"So you then spend literally hours staring at a blank wall hating yourself, your life, and everything around you. Well, as much hate as you can summon in the absolutely mentally numb state you find yourself sat in day after day."
Lack Of Motivation and Energy
"Complete lack of motivation."
"Ignoring people that I love, and who are trying to help."
"I feel it extra at work. Letting things slide until you either get into trouble or trying last minute to prevent it."
"Funny those times when I'm working to save my butt, the depression goes away and i feel super focused and motivated."
"I try to carry that energy over but no, it's rinse and repeat."
"Insecure about absolutely everything, no hope for the future, dissociation from society and not knowing how to “act” anymore, feeling like I’m not as good at the things I always thought I was good at or that the “talent is wasted on me”, only food cheers me up and sometimes even that doesn’t work"
Loss Of Creativity
"This. It's like some numb fuzziness you feel in your brain. It's the worst thing ever for an artist who just wants to create but your brain comes up dry with a dense fog that wants to just lie down for a few hours"
A Mental Inability To Breathe
"For me, it feels like I’m in a lake with a ball chain tied to my feet, desperately swimming up for air, the only problem is the chain isn’t long enough. I can only get an inch of my head out of the water to breath, and as soon as a high tide comes, the water just floods over me and I feel like I can’t breath again. I live like this, constantly feeling like I’m struggling to breathe, weighed down by my own mind. It’s a struggle and I can’t really describe it in any other way, I’m jealous of people who don’t worry about depression"
"Like suffocating under a heavy cloak"
"Like being crushed. Like if the air was crushing my muscles and bones and I can’t breathe because I’m being crushed…"
"Kinda like that."
"Scrolling thru your steam library. Thinking you want to play something, either not settling on anything or not wanting to put the effort into the game. Going back to the scrolling."
"It feels like you're forced to play a game of Monopoly (represents life) and your just rolling the dice to appease everyone but you genuinely don't care about where you go, where you land, what you pick up, what you pay, what you gain."
"You kind of just watch it happen without interest and while people are cheering or oh no-ing for you, you genuinely don't care. Everyone is a piece on this board that hardly matters and you feel like we're all just running in a circle over and over again and it's boring and disinteresting as hell."
"You lose all curiosity for everything and just let everything happen and pass by you. No motivation, hardly any love, hardly any care. Feels like the world is in black and white and your waiting for the game to end became it's so absolutely boring and disinteresting, but it never does."
"You come to resent the game and eventually hate it because it feels like you're being forced to play it and suffer it's consequences when you never asked to play it in the first place."
"That's what depression felt like for me. Since then I've been medicated and recieved therapy. I'm doing a lot better now and I don't feel this way anymore, thankfully."
A Relation To Fantasy
"You know that scene in the Lord of the Rings where Bilbo is describing to Galndalf what having the Ring all those years felt like? "I feel thin. Like too much jam spread over too much bread." That's honestly the best way I've seen to describe it."
"I always say the closest thing to compare it to is a dementor in harry potter. It sucks every ounce of happiness out of you until there is only darkness left."
"Side note: chocolate always helps"
Fear Of Lack Of Justification
"Like someone close to you died yesterday. Expect no one has, and nothing has happened to justify how you feel."
A Physical Pain
"Physical pain in my heart, will start crying just by attending to the physical sensation in my body."
"I've always described it as having a shadow fixed to your brain which fuels things like indecision and negativity. You can do things to temporarily help but you can't truly shift it. Previous normality is forgotten. But it's amazing how much you can mask it."
"I found I didn't realise how bad I was until I started to get better"
"For anyone suffering with depression. Please, please speak to someone. Best thing I ever did"
Depression isn't something you can just deal with or get over. Learning to cope is not easy. However, as Redditor DavosLostFingers pointed out, talking to someone can literally save your life.
If you or anyone you know is struggling with depression, contact the American Psychological Association by phone at 800.374.2721 or 202.336.5500.
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