Teachers Share The Most Depressing Thing Their Kids Have Ever Said
Being a teacher is one of the most soul-draining careers available. Every year you're blessed a group of students, with some of them actually excited to learn. While you can't teach everyone, you can reach out to them on an emotional level, connecting on things not always taught from a curriculum book.
However, you have to be ready for what they might say when they finally feel comfortable enough to open up to you.
Reddit user, DATCATGOSPLAT, wanted teachers to tell all about:
Teachers of Reddit what is the most depressing thing your kids have said?
"Ask for help how to get over her laziness. She was getting regular migraines so would have to hide and sleep it off. Due to her parents she learned that this was laziness."
"I had a 16 year old student say: "I heard my parents fighting downstairs last night. My 10 year old brother came into my room and got into bed with me crying, because he's just now realizing we don't have a normal family".
"Reminds me of when I was 10 and shared a room with my little sister who was maybe 4-7. I had to comfort her because she was crying while my parents were fighting outside. And I was praying that night that my brother was asleep since he's a deep sleeper and wasn't crying alone in his room. It was a tough few years."
"My sister didn't wake up today." Her sister complained of headaches the night before because she hit her head. Parents didn't think anything was seriously wrong. They took her off life support a few days later, she was 9. Her sister? 5 years old."
"I'm not a teacher, but in junior year a teacher asked a classmate of mine where he saw himself in 10 years, & he quietly replied "dead."
"The number of students who don't expect to live past college is surprising. Multiple people my age (high schooler) have told me that they don't really have a plan for college because they probably won't be around that long anyway."
"Assignment was to write a poem about something you liked to pretend. Students poem started "I like to pretend that I have friends." This was in first grade."
"I teach kindergarten and a girl told me "my brother died" and went on loosely about how he died, but it was a while ago since I forgot the words."
"Brother, 15, had an asthma attack, had no puffer on him, died."
"Now she's very emotional and going through therapy at 5 years old. It's been probably three months."
"Middle school, they went on a field trip yesterday and one kid was sad because they wouldn't be at school so he wouldn't get lunch. They were fed at the field trip, but he was totally concerned that he wasn't going to get fed that day."
"Principal (to class on day one): "Kindergarten is not like pre-school. Attendance matters. It's very important that you be here everyday."
"Kindergartner: "What if you have to get a blood transfusion?"
"I'm trying to wrap my head around the circumstances where this even needs to be said to kindergartners. It's not like they have a lot of control over their own lives, what they have a big problem with 5 year olds playing hooky and smoking cigarettes in an alley?"
I've had it all.
"Middle school teacher of 9 years in a very poor district here. I have had students whose siblings died to gang shootings, cop shootings, have had homeless kids, a pregnant 7th grader in my class. I've had it all."
A couple in the running:
"My boyfriend was shot in front of me and died in my arms. The ambulance we called never arrived."
"Mom went to go stay with my older sister [three states away] for a while. She told me I'm in charge of [his twin 15 year old brother] and we need to make sure we stay at [specific shelter]" ... she never came back."
"A visibly sick student in class "Mom said she's working, and I tried to call my dad. He hug up on me... He doesn't care about me anyways."
"On the first day of school (and the first day of my career) "How was your morning?" "Dude took two to the chest on his front porch on my way to school, don't worry though, I didn't see his face, what are we doin' today?"
"Why should I even try? I'm just stupid anyway"
"He has a learning disability and has a hard time with reading and that's not to mention his ADHD with ODD (he sees a therapist every week and is way better). This trickles down to just about every subject he has. It broke my heart when he said that."
"A 6 year old preschool kid took my hand and wanted to show me something he had drawn. The drawing was in dark colors and sort of angry-looking. He explained that he had drawn his heart, which was broken and hurting very bad. He said it wasn't any fun when his heart hurt like that."
"He was often being excluded from the group by his classmates, sometimes even bullied. He didn't have the social skills to communicate well with his friends, which led to him being very misunderstood even though he always meant well."
"Can you be my mom?" - 15 years old, totally serious."
"This is my real family." - different student referring to the teachers and friends at school."
"I don't deserve this" - teen when given a sweater on a very cold day."
I hear a lot of this stuff. I wish there was so much more I could do."
Sets of 2....
"I co-taught a class one year and we had a few twins in our classes (split between different periods)."
"With one set of twins, one girl was a fantastic student. She was bright, conscientious, diligent, and was a joy to have in the classroom. Her sister, on the other hand, was a mess. Never knew what was going on, had a terrible attitude, was completely disorganized, and was often disruptive. If I ever called on her, she'd roll her eyes and say "ugh I don't know" as if I was being unreasonable in expecting she be able to answer a question about something I just said 3 seconds earlier."
"My co-teacher met their parents at parent-teacher night. Apparently the parents spent most of the time talking about the "good" twin and actually called the other one "the bad twin" when they did talk about her."
"I felt bad after hearing that."
"Friend of mine adopted a student when he turned 18 because his parents abandoned him for being gay. They make a happy dorky little family. They always got along well, she had a soft spot for him, and he has somewhere to go on school breaks. 😁"
Rips my heart right out of my chest.
"My mother was a teacher for nearly 30 years. She spent the last 10 years at a middle school that was pretty hard up in the Tulsa public school system. She had a very good student who came to school every day in the same clothing. We can call him J. The clothing was always washed but even so around halfway through the year, his clothing was becoming tattered and stained. The other students began to notice and make comments. The school tried to give him clothing but he refused. He would not except a hand out."
"A few teachers came up with a plan for the school put on a contest where the winner was given some new, very nice, school clothing. This contest was set up for J to win. This way he could have new clothing and not feel as though he was given anything."
"J won the contest. He accepted the new clothing gladly. The next day he was still wearing his old clothes. My mom asked him why he was not wearing the new clothing."
"Those are my trophies. I have them hanging on my wall."
"Rips my heart right out of my chest."
"Ms. Spidey, do you know how to get [local electric company] to turn your power back on? I get paid today, but they pay me on a card, so...do I get out cash and get a money order, and where do I take it to?"
"Kid was sixteen."
"But kid got their power turned back on, that day, all by themselves. I didn't do spit or biscuits but teach them how to talk to people in call centers and make the introduction to the CSR."
"And then later their power bill got reduced, because the school social worker has programs for that sort of thing, the local power company sent them some energy-saving free stuff, including some lightbulbs (kid and their siblings had been short some lights at home for a while,) and we got their water and sewer discounted as well."
"School social worker's a pal. Their surviving parent was trying, it's just hard with a parent of their own who isn't well, that many kids and two fast-food jobs."
"Kid is in college now. Damn near full ride. Commutes from home to save money, puts their housing stipend towards the family rent, utilities and gas for their own old Toyota. Their parent looks like they just took their first breath in ten years."
"I'm proud of all my students, but especially that one."
"Last week I asked my freshmen what their weekend plans were, and one kid said he was finally meeting his birth mother. He was nervous and excited and said he had so many questions to ask her."
"Monday rolls around and I see that he looks sad. I ask him how the meeting went and he said in the saddest voice, "she didn't show."
"I wanted to cry right there."
"High school teacher at a school for at risk youth so I get a lot of depressing stuff. I really bonded with one student about comic books and even let him borrow my first edition Umbrella Academy comics. He was homeless and living at a friends house on a yoga mat on the floor for the better part of a year. He asked me to adopt him :( wish I could, buddy. I wish I could. My students are the reason I want to become a foster parent though."
"I'm a counselor for kids in the foster program."
"Kid: "Why does everyone else in my class have one dad but I have different ones all the time?"
"Foster program can be really tough on kids."
"Me: "So, what are you most looking forward to when you go to college?"
"Student: "Oh, I've never had my own bed to sleep in before."
"That seems like..."
"I'm not a teacher, but when I was in school, a classmate, when asked to introduce herself said her name and that her parents died when she was young which is why she lived with her aunt and sat back down."
"That seems like the sort of thing you learn to do so that everyone knows right off the bat. You don't have to constantly correct people, "Oh, it'll actually be my aunt, not my mom..." or deal with their shock and pity over and over again. This way you get it all over with in one fell swoop."
"The poor kids..."
"Not me but my mother-in-law is a substitute nurse for a few schools, one of which is mostly pretty poor kids. Well at the beginning of one Friday a boy came with his backpack and his sister's to leave is for the nurse. He was kinda nervous/sad that the regular nurse was out and my MIL said "maybe I can help, what does she normally do with your backpacks?" He blurted out "she fills them with food for us!" The poor kids didn't have much food at home so that angel nurse was sending them home on Fridays with food to last them the weekend."
"I'm not a teacher..."
"I'm not a teacher but my 3rd grade teacher was having a really bad day with many kids behaving badly. She had us line up and go to her desk one by one and tell her (quietly) if there was something upsetting us that day. I don't know what the other kids told her but I told her that my mom had shouted at me that morning "No one will ever love you!" Knowing my classmates and the area we were living in I'm sure she heard some sad stuff. She went on stress leave shortly thereafter."
"Edit: Thank you for the kind comments. Yes, life got much better for me as an adult. I'm happily married now with three kids who get to worry about regular kid problems instead of dealing with verbal and physical abuse at home like I did and my mom did and probably her parents did."
"Student: I want to play with my friend today, but her dad died, so she can't come over."
"Me: oh no, I'm so sorry to hear that.
"Student: yeah, my mom said God is punishing her.""
"I explained that "God" does not punish people like that and it is NOT her friend's fault that her dad passed away."
"Student of mine drops out..."
"Other moments in my career that have touched me:"
- "Student of mine drops out to get a job, happens quite a bit because of the economy where we live. Student in question is couch hopping and trying to support himself and can no longer afford to not work, so I don't see him for 6 months. On his 19th birthday, he had the day off and you know what he did? He came to school to visit me, because he knew I would be happy to see him and he would get at least one happy birthday from someone who cares about him."
- "Any time a student says anything like "You're the only one who cares about me." "You're the reason I come to school." "You're the reason I graduated." Etc. Kills me every time. Anyone can graduate high school but they lack the confidence in themselves to see it. I try so hard EVERY day to let them know they can do it, but they go home and get the opposite from their parents."
"Some days I might be the only positive interaction a student has. I always say good morning when they come in and good bye when they leave, so they know they're being noticed. I try to always use their names when greeting them so they know it's specifically for them. I try to remember important dates for them, birthdays/court dates/if they're going to their driving test that day and congratulate them personally or ask how it went. I want them to know they're seen and someone cares."
"There was a student..."
"There was a student who constantly said some pretty sad stuff like "my mommy doesn't like me", "I'm not getting presents for Christmas", "my mommy hit my daddy last night".
"Turns out her mother was abusive to her (and her husband) and refused to even touch her. (Plus a lot of other terrible stuff) Her parents have split and she is now in a safe home where she is loved. She was only 4 at the time."
"When I was..."
"When I was in training I worked in an inner city school, we were discussing what they wanted to be when they grow up and one 8 year old said, "It doesn't matter I'm going to be in a gang and dead before I'm 21."
"It's hard when you see it in your own family though. One of my elementary schoolers was casually explaining to me how his brother is in prison for selling drugs because he couldn't afford a good enough lawyer."
"I've only been teaching..."
"I've only been teaching for around nine months, but one sticks out."
"I do a lot of 1-to-1 work with a reception-aged child (4-5) who has quite severe ADHD and needs constant supervision. I get to take him outside and do gross motor work with him, and I've really took a shine to him."
"Broke my heart a couple of weeks ago when he was stopped by the deputy head and told off for running down the corridor. He burst into tears, which is completely unlike him, and said, "I just can't get the naughty out of my brain."
"A skinny nine year old..."Giphy
"I really need to lose some weight.. I'm SO fat!" A skinny nine year old of mine told me this."
"My student told us..."
"My student told us that her mom was taken by ambulance to the hospital the night before after she stopped breathing. The other kids pressed her on what happened and she just shrugged and said her mom would be ok. Two days later, I got the word that her mom was brain dead. Her daughter had no idea. That Friday afternoon, I let the kids have an extra recess and watched my student play and laugh with all the other kids in the sun knowing that she might not be happy like that again for a long time."
"Not really something he said..."
"Not really something he said, but when I was tutoring a Somali refugee student (he was 15 years old,) the students were told to draw pictures (of their background or life, I think.) He drew pictures of...... houses on fire."
"She never realized..."
"Not a teacher but one of my close friends. I've known her since the start of high school. She never realized her home life was as bad as it was. She spoke about her mom neglecting her while the 14 foster cats they could barely afford to feed were spoiled rotten, and how eating the same thing every night - her only meal for the day started to make her nauseous. The real kicker is that her mother got cancer, and as soon as she died, she said "I'm so glad she's dead."
"I wish she'd died sooner." Or something along those lines. She was 16 when her mother died, and she's 18 now. She's never going to leave those horrible scars and the things she tells me about are horrifying."
"She lives with her dad now and has a proper home, regular good meals, etc. I have no idea how her dad didn't get custody when she was a child. He's an amazing dad to her and would probably do anything to help her more."
"I'm expecting 2 months"
"Foster Kid who left my school a few months ago. She has been to countless homes and foster families. Despite us thinking her current one is great, she still expects they will leave."
"Growing up in foster care, I never lasted anywhere more than 10 months. My entire childhood, after being taken from my birth dad (who was not abusive in the least, just not great at taking care of a kid), I never had the same family for more than 10 months. Usually much shorter than that."
"I still struggle to stay in one place for an extended period. It's like the uneasiness of not moving claws at my insides."
"Can I have a Band Aid?"
"I had a 7 year old ask me for a bandaid. When I asked her what was wrong and she pulled up her shirt to reveal a big burn in the middle of her chest."
"Mum had put a cigarette out in her "because she was being naughty."
"Don't waste your time with me, I won't be able to learn this, I'm too stupid for this."
"A student from 12th grade said this to me while trying to explain him properties of exponents and logarithms."
"I could not believe a 17 year old thinks he's a failure so early in life. He had the attitude of someone who just gave up on trying to learn things."
"She was 7."
"I have never [met] my parents."
"She was 7."
"This will get buried, but just yesterday I asked one of my special needs kids how his 2 dogs, Goofy and Mickey, are doing."
"He said, "Mickeys at the pet store."
"We had a really bad snow storm on a Wednesday and a Thursday. On Friday, we had classes again, but like half the kids were missing for obvious reasons. During morning circle, we went around the room and talked about what everyone did during the snow days."
"One girl said that she'd cried a lot because there wasn't much to do at her dad's, and she was so hungry because there wasn't enough food. We sent her home with as many extra snacks and breakfasts (cereals, bars, etc) as we could fit in her bookbag, but I still went home and cried that night. She was 7."
"I won't be able to turn in my homework today."Giphy
"I won't be able to turn in my homework today."
"My parents got in a really big fight yesterday. Things got crazy so I wasn't able to do my homework. Can you tell the rest of my teachers for me, please?"
"I just want someone to like me."
"11 year old autistic kid in special ed that was bullied on the regular. Said to me in private: "I don't know why I act out all the time... I just want someone to like me." To which I answered "Well, I like you, I want to be your friend.". Kid goes: "I really like that you want to be my friend, but I would like a classmate to want to be my friend too..."
"Yeah, tears were shed."
"Asked a kid..."
"Asked a kid/student of mine what she wanted to be when she grew up. She said she didn't want or need a job, because her mum doesn't have a job and she gets 500 pound a week (welfare). I almost resigned on the spot."
"One day I heard a kid..."
"Not a teacher, but have had many a 'leader' role with groups of kids. (Coach, instructor, scouts, etc). I always went out of my way to make sure every thing we did was fun. I'm a giant kid myself. Imagine hockey coaches standing near the bench yelling to the little kids on what to do. I'm the one in a different Disney jersey every time, skating, diving, falling, laughing it up with the kids on the ice."
"One day I heard a kid tell my son of the same age "Man I wish my dad was like your dad." You would think I would be happy about it, but no. It hit me hard. His dad was certainly not like me, and this kid had a difficult home life. For him to actually say he wished his dad was like me hurt. It was a double edge sword. Its a moment I'll never forget."
"Mary won't be here today, her mom died last night."
"Student: "Mary won't be here today, her mom died last night."
"Me: "Wait, didn't her dad pass away a few weeks ago?"
"Both parents died suddenly within a few weeks of each other from different medical conditions."
"I teach pretty much exclusively college freshmen..."
"I teach pretty much exclusively college freshmen and by that point they all have that fatalistic sense of humor anyway, but it gets real sad when they get to the end of their rope. Nothing specific that I can remember, but a lot of "why did I think I could make it in college" "I'm too stupid for this I should drop out" and they actually mean it. Stuff like that."
"Monday however a student asked to talk to me before class and said "I know this paper is important and all and I don't want you to hate me but I couldn't get my paper done..." and I'm used to this sort of thing, I mean, it's just natural, but then he take a deep breath and blurts out "my dad called me last night and told me he was leaving my mom and moving away so he's leaving me too and I just couldn't deal with it, I'm really sorry if you're mad at me." It just hits me hard when they have to deal with more than they should and on top of that they think I've formed a personal opinion of them and that I'm going to think badly of them based on something like this."
"Please don't send me home."
"5 year old preschool girl with 103 degree fever, sicker than sick. She BEGS the nurse, "please don't send me home." She was allowed to sleep in the nurse's office until the end of the day."
"That was about 2.5 years ago. A few months later she was removed by CPS and has been with a foster family (me) for nearly 2 years now."
"What's the point...?"
"I ran holiday science workshops, filled with brainy kids as you'd expect. There was an 11 year old girl who was brilliant at everything, the content was clearly beneath her. Very quiet, respectful, well liked by the other kids. Her parents were moving soon because she received scholarships to a prestigious school. Whenever her dad came to pick her up he was obviously proud, telling me about all her achievements, how she was in advanced classes, just won all these sports awards too, etc. Showed videos and photos of her winning all these soccer games."
"They enrolled her younger brother in similar sessions. He gave it a go in the first few but really struggled, always the last to finish and felt his work didn't look as good as the others. Looked embarrassed to ask for help. He screamed at his sister when she tried to fix his circuit. Eventually he just began acting out, putting off the work, challenging me to get a laugh out of the other kids, messing around. After a disastrous month he stopped trying altogether."
"He just came in one afternoon and sat there, not doing anything. I tried to engage him in the activity and said if he didn't like what the other kids are doing, we could pick anything else he wanted to do. He said something like, "What's the point. My parents will never love me as much as they love my sister."
"Can we use the student computer?"
"I've had a lot but one morning two students came in early to my room and asked if they could use my student computer. I said sure, and figured that they just needed to finish a project and knew I always got to school early."
"Turns out their best friend was murdered 2 days before because he wouldn't give his money he earned to someone trying to rob him. His family needed the money to not be homeless, so he died trying to look out for his family (and for like $80 or something)."
"My students were creating flyers and a gofundme so they could try to help the parents not be homeless, and to afford a funeral."
"To make matters worse, the kid was murdered on a Saturday. He was left to bleed out and die, to be found the next morning. Murderer CAME TO MY SCHOOL on Monday as if nothing had happened. Cops pulled him out of the class in the middle of the day once they had figured out it was him."
They Shoot Me Up
"I had a student that frequently lingered in my classroom after school. She often looked ill and was always very weird. One day she opened up to me and said that her mother and her live-in boyfriend shot up heroin every night. I told my principal after she spoke to me and she informed that CPS was already involved. A few days later the same girl told me that her mom and boyfriend would shoot her up with heroin and tell her that she couldn't tell anyone they were still doing it because she would get in trouble for doing it too. She asked me to keep it a secret (which I obviously couldn't) because she was worried she'd get arrested for drug use."
"She no longer lives at home thankfully."
"One of my students..."
"One of my students calls me dad, because his dad is abusive and I am not. Worth noting the student is trans, and that is why his dad abuses him. All I do is respect his pronouns. Also worth noting, I am a woman living in the Deep South, and I still let him call me dad because it makes him happy, even though him calling me something unprofessional/me respecting his pronouns could get me fired. All his lgbtq friends have picked up on it as well. I am considered a "safe teacher". Maybe not as heartwrenching as others, but it breaks my heart."
"My dad told my therapist that he never wanted to have a kid. He didn't even bothered to ask me to leave the room"
"Broke my heart."
"One of the items..."
"I'm not a teacher, but one drama lesson we started by playing a little game, we were given an object and had to pretend it was something else but that object."
"One of the items was a empty cardboard box, and it was passed around the circle as such items like footballs, hats, boxing gloves.. etc etc. But when it got to this one boy, he opened the box, looked inside and said 'this isn't a cardboard box, it's my will to live' and passed it onto the next person with no facial expression whatsoever."
"He didn't mean it (hopefully) and laughed afterward, but it sure did result in an awkward silence for a few seconds."
"I eventually asked..."
I" work as a guidance counsellor for a high school. I was helping one girl with university applications, and she kept saying "I don't know" whenever I asked her about a certain school, program, etc."
"I eventually asked if she had any ideas of where she might like to apply to, and she said "I don't think it matters, I'll be dead before I graduate".
"I found out she had been admitted to the hospital days later for a failed suicide attempt. This was a few years ago; she visited me last week to show me her acceptance letter to uni AND her one year clean of self harm token."
A huge shout out to all educators.
Do you have a similar story to share? Let us know in the comments below.
Reddit user Aesthetik_1 asked: 'What made you instantly realize This "friend" is not a real friend?'
A good friend is not always the one with whom you share laughs and fun experiences.
The friendships you want to keep include those who won't abandon you in a time of need or someone who supports you in a variety of complicated situations where not even a family member can be relied upon.
Unfortunately, many of us have experienced a time when a person's true colors revealed to us that the so-called "friend" we've always trusted wasn't one at all.
Curious to hear examples of this, Redditor Aesthetik_1 asked:
"What made you instantly realize This 'friend' is not a real friend?"
These Redditors didn't realized at the time that they were being used.
"When he only called me when he needed something. It didn't hit me until much later."
"I have one of those 'friends'. She always gushes about how we're friends but she never initiates contact unless she wants me to do something for her."
The Errand Girl
"Several years back, I had a friend who introduced me to this new boy she was seeing. Maybe a year later, their relationship blew up in a fury of bs (whole other story), but by the time they split, I was equally friends with both of them. He and I were both photographers at the time, so the friendship was instantaneous."
"One day we started talking about her, neither positively nor in poor taste, just kind of in general."
"He then asked me 'when she texts to hang out, what does she usually want to do?'"
"I paused. I thought. Holy sh*t, she'd either be asking for a favour or for help with some kind of errand. I was her f'king errand girl."
"She texted me a month or two later, just a 'hey'. I never responded. She never texted again."
"I'm still friends with her ex, though. That dude is genuine as heck."
Testing The Friendship
"When you decide to let them be the one to reach out. And you never hear from them again."
"Yup. Made plans with a friend three times, she cancelled each time. I finally told her to let me know when she was free, we haven’t hung out since."
"She was a good friend for the season, but not a lifetime."
People were shocked to discover the moment they realized they didn't really know who their "friend" was anymore.
"I had been giving rides to a girl I thought was my friend. To and from school in high school. She wasn’t really suppose to ride with other teens but due to her mothers work hours we could easily pull this off. I thought we were close."
"One day while on the way home my brakes went out. We were about 2 blocks from her gated neighborhood. I managed to roll in safely and parked at her house to call a tow truck."
"She flipped. Told me I couldn’t stay. She knew my brakes were not working as she had also been terrified when we couldn’t stop. She said she wanted to go to a movie that weekend with other friends and her mom would ground her if she saw me at the house. I offered to lie and say I only stopped there as my car malfunctioned on my way home. I had to pass her neighborhood on my way home anyways."
"She refused. Started to scream at me. She didn’t care what happened I had to go. Started to call the guard at the front gate to tell them I had broken in and was threatening her."
"I left her and that friendship that moment. I managed to roll my car slowly to a mechanic not too far away but never forgot the shi* feeling of knowing I could have been seriously hurt and she wouldn’t have cared. She wanted to see a movie. She had the nerve to sheepishly call and ask me a couple days later if I could give her a ride to school. Told her I was too busy and no longer had time… after all I wanted to help her obey her mom's rules. She rode the bus til she graduated."
"I had this friend in school. Each year there was a funfair in our city, all students received vouchers for a drink and something to eat. This friend complained the whole day that she had no one to accompany her to the funfair. So, stupid me offered to go with her."
"Once we arrived we met another friend of hers. And another, and another... until we were a group of 5 or 6 people. I didn't know anyone and was basically just walking behind them. This friend took me aside and said, 'My friends think you are annoying, and we would like you to leave.'"
"It was a pleasure to see that she failed her exams a year later."
There's the spirit of competition, but when it's taken seriously, we're no longer game for these friendships.
I Can Do It Better
"Constantly 'one ups' me. A real friend is happy for you."
"That one time I got a fake bag but she doesn’t know and then 2 weeks later messaged me that she also bought a luxury bag… Then when I got a bf, she also went to get a bf within 3 months which is TOTALLY fine but she constantly messages me for us to go on a double date. Anyways, sadly they didn’t last long :( I mentioned that I wanted to go to Cuba, she went ahead and bought herself a ticket to Cuba but I didn’t end up going lol"
Never Steal The Spotlight
"When they loved the idea of me shining, but behind their shadow, I could never do or achieve anything above them, and when I did, they would get jealous."
"Yes! I recently ghosted a friend because of this kind of behavior. She was trying to compete about EVERYTHING. Like she bragged about how her mom’s car accident was more traumatic than my elderly MIL’s - which is not even an appropriate thing to compare. She would also try to 'outshine' celebrations of my milestones and was mean to several of my friends for no apparent reason. She was a loose cannon at best."
All About Me
"ALL she talks about it herself and her problems. Granted she has a a lot but never asks about me or my life until she realizes she just bypassed my attempt to want to talk about something in my life bothering me and continued to talk about herself."
People can just be so rude.
"When I got really sick. Very few came to help."
"Same here. I got cancer and everyone I knew was over the top supportive for the first six months and then all but three of my friends just vanished. I saw one of them at a Halloween party while I was going through chemo and she told me that my bald head made people uncomfortable. I was dressed as Captain Picard, it was awesome and she ruined it."
Not Missing High School
"At lunch, she was sitting with her boyfriend, I was sitting with our friend circle. She came up to me, guilted me into sitting with her and her boyfriend, and then proceeded to ignore me for the rest of lunch."
"She didn't care about me, she just didn't want me talking to the friend circle that she had abandoned for her boyfriend. When I pointed this out to her, she called me a jealous b*tch."
"Ah, high school. How I don't miss thee."
These examples actually served as a good reminder for me to take a moment and assess my friendships.
Not so much about how I've been treated but more about checking myself to see if I'm respecting the people I call my friends.
We've all been guilty of casually mentioning future plans to get together. I embarrassingly wait for people to initiate something, which is terrible.
Show up for your friends. Make them feel important like the individuals they are.
There are few moments in life more momentous than buying your first home.
Of course, as is the case with any big decision, after going through with it, your mind begins to spiral down into a series of doubts.
Most of the time, once you've moved in and lived there for a while, all these doubts begin to slowly disappear.
In some cases, though, those doubts quickly turn into regrets.
Particularly when you notice more and more elements of what you thought was your "dream" home that is more reminiscent of a nightmare.
Redditor californiabred was curious to hear the biggest regrets from people who recently purchased a home, leading them to ask:
"Homeowners who bought recently, what’s your biggest regret?"
Not The What, But The When
"Not buying 4 years ago."- 3rdPartyArbitor
Location, Location, Location!
"The situation when you bought a house where it was possible and a month later they sell a house in the area where you wanted"- BenefitOk3952
"Not knowing enough about the area/town."
"I hate where we live."
"Hoping we can move by the time my oldest starts kindergarten."- MP1087jason patric fox GIF by Wayward PinesGiphy
Upon Closer Inspection...
"The inspector told us the main drain in the basement was clogged."
"We thought it was clogged with something normal."
"It was, in fact, 'clogged' with cement from when our basement floor was redone."
"So now our basement regularly gets standing water on one side."- doctorpotterhead
"Hiring the wrong home inspector they missed so much, I really have to wonder if all those reviews were bought and paid for."- CaptainQuoth
"Not planting the fruit trees sooner."
"It’s a long wait."- SageLeaf1Plant Hope GIF by The Seed of Life FoundationGiphy
How Long Have You Got...
"Be shameless enough to perform your own base level of inspection of a house so you don’t have to rely on what an inspector finds or get in a situation where you have to make an offer regardless of what the inspection finds."
"Turn all the faucets on and run the dishwasher."
"Start the washer machine for a second."
"Figure out if there is any water pressure issue."
"Bring a multi line laser and a tape measure."
"Check for any significant changes in slope on the foundation for some settling issues."
"Pay attention to the downspouts."
"Do they terminate right at the house or do they have longer pipes that lead the water away?"
"Pay attention to the flooring and create a rough estimate of what it will cost to immediately replace the flooring."
"Way easier to do when you don’t have a house full of furniture and can do it right before you move in."
"On the financial side you need to talk with multiple lenders at all times and make sure they continue to give you the most up to date closing costs."
"There were a lot of sneaky numbers that made there way in that I was unaware of as a first time home buyer."
"Until that mortgage lender gives you the locked in rate don’t trust them as to what number they are currently telling you."
"Discover your maximum mortgage rate + escrow and work backwards as to the maximum house you can afford."
"Don’t buy based on the pipe dream of refinancing."- from_the_LuftGIF by BlindspotGiphy
"Not recent, but I still regret not refinishing the floors before I moved in."
"I'll never do it now."- WinterFilmAwards
"I regret not having the inside painted and the carpet replaced before we moved in."
"Been here two years and it never felt like 'my home' until I got rid of the stains of those who came before."- DaisyRage7
Consider A Test Drive...
"Not particularly recent, but we did not pull out cars in the driveway or attempt to park them."
"So we didn't realize that my car could only enter the driveway from one direction, so I had to turn around half a block up every time I needed to park."
"And we just BARELY got two cars in the driveway."
"So my regret is that I took for granted that the driveway met our needs."- gtizzzhomer simpson episode 24 GIFGiphy
Always Read The Fine Print
"I bought a few years ago."
"So many things have gone sideways."
"One thing I regret is not being educated about permits."
"Contractors/handymen/ anyone who works on your house really, never mentions a permit may be needed."
"Learned that it’s up to me and me alone to do the research and phone calls."
"Currently have a job on hold because they needed a permit."
"The company blamed me and now I’m not sure they’re even going to do the work."
"Watch the movie 'The Money Pit'."
"It’s not that far off."
"Some days I wish I’d just be a renter."- MissPeppingtosh
Simply Not Worth The Effort
"Don't bother childproofing your home."
"They still get in."- Blueblackzincseason 9 friends GIFGiphy
It's easy to question whether or not buying a home was the right decision.
But rather than live a life full of regret, why not make the most out of what you have, and turn your not-quite-dream home into a temporary dream home?
Who knows, it might even increase the resale value.
In an instant, anything can change in life.
Deciding to turn left instead of right at a traffic light can save your life -- and you may never know it.
That's why the movie "Sliding Doors" is so great.
Small choices and seemingly minor chances can shift things massively.
Redditor Lexie_Mark wanted to hear about how life can change drastically by the smallest influences, so they asked:
"What's a seemingly minor decision you made that ended up having a massive impact on your life?"
I had dinner with a guy once.
I told him a joke and let him read 5 pages of my writing.
Now I write for this website. BOOM!
Right TurnNever Mind Baby GIFGiphy
"Turned up to a military recruiting day on the wrong weekend as a youngster. Walked into a BBQ for traumatized veterans accidentally. That changed my mind."
"I had moved countries and decided to go back home after initial plans didn't work out. Had a ticket booked, was in a hotel near the airport, and got an invite to stay with online friends for a week or so before going back. Deferred my ticket, took them up on the offer."
"Met the love of my life there- moved to his city, have a new job, new friends, new life completely."
"While I was experiencing a period of career ennui, I treated myself to taking some college classes in biology, which I had always been interested in."
"While walking in the neighborhood close to the university one day, I saw one of the professors walking down the street, contentedly eating some ice cream. I don't know what possessed me, but I actually stopped him, said hello, that I was in one of his classes, and how much I liked the course."
"I have come across many professors in such casual circumstances before and since and never had the inclination or the guts to talk to them, particularly when they are clearly just having an enjoyable moment and likely don't want to be annoyed by a random student they don't even know."
"But I talked to him, and we had such a nice chat that he invited me to come to his lab and potentially do some work there. I came by a few days later, and he asked me a few questions and then asked one of his postdocs if he'd like to have me give him some help on a project. The postdoc said yes, and within 2.5 years I had my MS in biology (advised by Dr. Professor and helped greatly by that postdoc), and I was on my way to getting my PhD.
"Now I'm the prof."
On the Vespa
"4 months ago I was riding my Vespa to the gym on a Saturday morning, and I was T-boned by a car pulling out of a side street. She was looking the other way to make sure the traffic was clear and didn’t see me."
"I was coming from her right (in Australia, left-hand drive) and the front left of her car hit the back of my Vespa. If I had been half a second faster, I wouldn’t have been hit."
"I ended up with a crushed lower left leg and foot, permanent nerve damage, and 2 weeks in hospital. Fast forward to now, and I still can’t walk or move my leg and foot, I’m in unimaginable pain, and I (just today) lost my job."
"The recovery timeline is looking like 18-24 months and there’s no guarantee I’ll walk again."
"I was just trying to be healthy and go to the gym on a Saturday, and now my life has totally turned upside down. lol. Sigh."
Swipe Righttinder GIFGiphy
"Matched with a guy on Tinder and complained about my current job. Encouraged (and walked me through) the recruitment process for a government job and 5 years later I’ve had 4 promotions, earned almost twice my old salary, and have much higher job satisfaction."
Maybe Tinder isn't so bad after all.
Key StrokesJim Carrey Reaction GIFGiphy
"Taking a typing class in 1974. Almost no guys took typing at my school. Made life with computers a lot easier."
"Same here, it was the main reason I got a job in IT, I was able to have a lifelong career."
"Started running because I heard it helps with chronic tinnitus, now run 5 days a week, lost 20 kg, stopped drinking, and can sleep. It doesn't cure the tinnitus, there is no cure and probably never will be, but it made it more manageable, lowered the volume in my head, and let me sleep easier. I still have it and struggle with it sometimes, but running/exercise for me is the best way to mitigate the stress chronic tinnitus causes."
"Buying tickets to Guns 'N Roses. I'm from Northern Australia and went to the Brisbane show. Ended up going with an old friend who was looking for an extra roommate, moved to Brisbane, did an audio course cause I needed something to do, and ended up working in the music industry full-time. Just got off tour with Suicidal Tendencies as their backline tech and have had an incredible career so far."
"My current job was a throwaway application I submitted purely for interview practice. It was one of two listings I saw at once, one was quite detailed and looked really good, and the other one was a handful of vague bullet points that seemed interesting enough. The one I was hoping for never replied, the other one offered me more than the maximum salary on the ad. No regrets."
ForeverSmooch Love GIF by molehillGiphy
"I decided to have my first ever one-night stand."
"We've been together for 12 years!"
"So you still haven't had a one-night stand!"
Ah, the curse of the one-night stand gone wrong.
Love is all around.
At the end of the last century DNA laboratory companies began to offer direct-to-consumer home DNA test kits.
According to The Center for Genetics and Society, as of November 2023 more than 26 million people have taken an at-home ancestry DNA test.
These tests have helped people find and reunite with long lost family members. However not all revelations were well met.
Unknown ancestry was discovered.
Infidelity and secrets and lies were also exposed by these tests which led to strife in some families.
Reddit user OmarBessa asked:
"Redditors who have gotten genetic tests, what's the weirdest thing you learnt from your DNA?"
"So my dad is from the Philippines and my brothers and I all assumed our whole lives we are half Filipino and half Polish/German from my mom. Even my brothers married Filipino women and are very much into the family culture."
"Anyway I’m the only one who did the dna test and it came back we are only a 1/4 Filipino."
"There’s a mix—1% Japanese, 1% South American, etc...—but the big surprise was our missing 1/4 was Iranian/Romanian."
"My brothers flat out refuse to believe it."
"Learned that I (White) had a 100% Nigerian ancestor around 130 years ago. Now I want to dig deeper to find out who it was!"
"What’s funny is that I spent a gap year in Nigeria as a teenager, and I love the culture and food and still have a lot of Nigerian friends."
"It’s still a big part of my life."
"For 29 years, it was assumed that my dad who raised me was not my biological father, that I was the product of an affair my mother was having."
"I came out with blond hair, freckles and blue eyes. A stark difference to my tanned, dark featured dad."
"My dad chose to raise me as his own anyways, refusing paternity tests. I was never made to feel like I wasn't his."
"I took 23&Me simply out of curiosity and found out that he is in fact my biological father."
"My dad has told me he didn't want to know the results either way, but I let it slip showing my sister's the app one time at dinner."
"He didn't react, but I got an extra big bear hug getting on the train to leave that night."
"It was assumed when my mom found out she was pregnant that the pregnancy was the product of the affair. My features only solidified that assumption."
"He was already raising my mom's first daughter as his own, who he'd met when she was 2 and told my mom he wanted to keep raising the kids together. They got married and he adopted her a few months after I was born."
She was also treated so much as his that I didn't even know she was adopted by him until I was a teenager."
"My parents stayed together for 14 years, and to this day are still best friends."
"As an adult, my father-in-law found out his mother was actually his grandmother and his older sister was actually his mom."
"Things were different in the late 30's."
"I think this is quite common, especially when the real mother is still very young and in school when they get pregnant."
"The grandparents will adopt the baby and say they’re the mum’s sister/brother, and so the mum can continue their life as normal as possible."
"The daughter I adopted and I are actually distantly related!"
"As an adoptee who is considering doing the DNA thing, this intrigues me."
"My brother (also adopted, not a blood related sibling to me) did the DNA thing and found his birth family! I got to meet two of his half siblings. It was fascinating seeing 'nature vs nurture' in real time."
"There were certain mannerisms, etc... that all three of them did, and then other things my brother did that are definitely from the family we were raised in."
"Really cool to watch."
"Not me but my grandma got a DNA test done because she was sold as a baby—this happened back in the 30s (Depression Era, USA)—and never knew her biological parents, so a family member urged her to do it so we could maybe find them."
"We found both sides—a half-sister from her bio mom and a half-brother from her bio dad."
"Although it was kinda weird to realize we have family close by (only 20 miles away in one case), it was much weirder for the bio families to discover my grandma’s existence, since neither side had anything to do with the other."
"Her bio mom and bio dad seem to have crossed paths at some point in the same city. He was a married man, she was an older teen. Not sure if it was a one night stand or whatever but her bio mom was pregnant as a result of that night."
"At some point in her pregnancy, she checked into a home/hospital for pregnant unwed teen mothers (using a fake name). The bio mom was told the home would find homes for the babies, so she delivered and left."
"Bio mom went on to marry and have her own family, while bio dad likely never knew of the situation."
"As it would turn out, the home was not adopting out babies, rather selling them. Since my grandma was blonde and blue eyed she was bought quickly for a higher price by a woman."
"My grandma didn’t know until her teens that she was sold."
"My grandparents—they were married at the time—had a biological son they gave up for adoption before my mother was born and never told any of us about."
"Turns out some of the extended family knew my grandma had been pregnant before my mom but kept it a secret."
"If it was during the great depression in the US it was sadly something that happened. Not even just with babies."
"Some families had to give away their children or some of their children (I can't imagine the trauma for everyone involved) because they couldn't afford to feed themselves, let alone a child."
"My husband's grandmother told me about family members she knew who had to find new families for their children or even send them to live in an orphanage where they would at least be fed.
"Sometimes they were able to get the kids back after finances improved but not always."
"My ancestry is exactly what I grew up being told, I have several family members who were really into genealogy".
"But I found out I have a first cousin we didn't know existed."
"Apparently, my uncle had gotten married and had a son no one knew about when he was 19 and stationed across the country that he bailed on."
"Ends up my bio dad was quite the dabbler."
"None of his relatives were surprised I existed, just that I was the only stray kid that did (so far). I keep an eye on my results for any other mystery siblings!"
"I told my new half siblings if I ever went to a family reunion I'd show up in a shirt that said 'Spare Parts' or 'I'm your plot twist'."
Solving Unsolved Mysteries
"I had the same suspicions when I took my test. Turns out it was my grandmother instead with the secret babies she put up for adoption."
"Didn’t find out until 6 years after she passed away so we’re never getting answers as to what happened."
"Also got a surprise contact by the police, as I was a high match to a John Doe that was found drowned on the shores of Lake Superior in 1991."
"That was a fun family tree rabbit hole to dive down. Turned out to be a half 1st cousin from my grandmother’s firstborn."
"The local police were great about informing me and communicating. The case was assigned to them by the provincial police who were clearing out thousands of cold cases."
"I was also very excited to assist because I’d done a rather in-depth family tree about a decade prior."
"They have a team of forensic genealogists, most of them on a volunteer basis, and they were incredibly good at finding information. A lot of it was birth/marriage records and working off random dna matches to try and figure out where the Doe related to the match."
"In my case, I was a 422cm match to the deceased so we looked from my maternal great-grandparents on down."
"I assisted myself on a couple of cases afterwards, all just unidentified bodies found in water or bush, nothing criminal that would require clearance."
"To be honest, I felt a little morbid because of how interested I was in the process. I had to temper my enthusiasm when responding to the police initially."
I didn’t know the person, I had zero attachment to them and it was more of a scientific interest."
"It wasn’t until weeks later when I realized how close of a relation it was that it hit me. That plus he was likely murdered made me feel bad about my earlier enthusiasm."
"But in the cases I volunteered on, those people were loved and missed."
"One fella was a cousin of a beloved NHL enforcer that passed away a year before and I recognized the names of the immediate family we had to contact. They still had Facebook groups dedicated to searching for him with posts until the day before we contacted them."
"I’m sure there’s a relief at having answers but grief at the loss being confirmed."
More and more people are exploring their roots through DNA testing.
Have you taken a test? What was your DNA revelation?