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Unfortunate Things Students Said That Made Their Teachers Give Up All Hope

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Every profession has its frustrations. And sometimes you just feel like giving up on humanity. Teachers are no exception to life's aggravations.

Reddit user Cubbysablo asked: 

"Teachers of Reddit, what is something a student of yours has said that made you think 'wow, there is no hope left for you?"

Within 9 days over 15,000 responses were received. Here are some of the most shocking.

He Knew Where He Was Headed

"I don't need to do any of this shit, Mrs. A. I go to jail next week for stealing a car." 
Checked up on him five years later, and he was in jail for slamming his gf into the concrete, paralyzing her.  aggiechicken

Name Your Sources

Principal at an inner city high school. I had to sit down with a student who had been caught plagiarizing for a second time. This time.... from The Onion.  SmoothyMcfly

Rubberball/Mike Kemp / Getty Images

Talent Might Be Required

High school teacher here 
"Dude, if you don't start coming to class and doing the work, you'll fail out of school." 
"School's done nothin for me. I'm gonna rap to pay the bills, bro." 
Kid was an awful musician. Couldn't make a beat. Couldn't write a rhyme to save his life.  DangerousKidTurtle

Maybe More Than a Few More

Kid (totally serious) "I'm going to drop out. I'll make money off of YouTube"

Me "How many views are your videos getting?"

Kid "I have 4 subscribers, so I just need a few more"  gamsambill

If It Was Easy, It Wouldn't Be Work

"Can we just not learn this? It's hard. We should just skip it." RestEqualsRust

Million Dollar Listing

"I don't have to get good grades. My grandfather owns a house and when he dies, my family is going to sell it for a million dollars, so I won't have to ever get a job."  RestEqualsRust

That's Not What Random Numbers Means

Spent 15 minutes on a math lesson, do examples. hand out worksheet, do one ON the worksheet with them. He asked: "So you just want us to fill this in with random numbers?" Speechless.  Mathgailuke

Eric Raptosh Photography / Getty Images

Criminal Aspirations

"I want to be a drug dealer, but the cool kind. You know, the ones that wear a suit and carry a briefcase." He was 17 at the time and completely serious. He was expelled a month later for jumping another student. Icon7d

Family Tradition

My wife told me this story about a time she was lecturing a kid on why he should try to do well in school. She asked him what he wanted to be when he grows up... his response "I want to be in jail. That's where my dad and uncle is." She had no response. Probably the only time in her career that she was left speechless by a student.  anash5289

bobbieo / Getty Images

You Mean Accounting?

I teach high school math/geometry. One of my students said "Why do we even need math? All I care about is money." His classmates proceeded to laugh.  C11Scriber

Law is Related to Government

I teach 1st year US law students. More than you would care to believe, they don't know America has 3 branches of government, much less what the branches do.  Pali_Upekkha

Too Young

I had a first grader throw chairs and desks at me for about a week (after 2 months of horrific behavior that the parents and administration ignored), one hard enough to injure my knee, before I finally had enough video evidence for the principal to get involved. He (student) refused to speak to me at all. Eventually my co teaching partner got him to explain why he was doing it. "I just don't like him." 
I feel bad for the kid. He has serious emotional problems. I don't know if I'd say there is no hope left, because 1st grade is pretty young to write someone off. I hope he gets treatment.  WaxStatue

Just Waiting to be 16

"I ain't doin any of that sh*t. My mom already said she's signing the papers [to dropout] as soon as I turn 16."  lazyf-inirishman

Mighty Oaks From Tiny Acorns

I used to teach science in a public high school. Had to convince a sophomore that trees came from seeds... blew his mind.  sabrielz

John Lund / Getty Images

For Better or Worse

Not a teacher but worked at a school for awhile. Had a 4th grader say that he didn't need school because he was going to have a wife and she would do everything. Same student while disrupting the entire class also said "What are you going to do? I know you can't hit me."  frostyfeet1050

At Least She Had a Career Plan

A girl (8th Grade) told me she wanted to have kids (2-3) by the time she was 18 so she could have the energy to keep up with them and then be an exotic dancer to support them.  MSUSpartan06

Ariel Skelley / Getty Images

Motor Skills

I had one 4 year old who couldn't hold a pencil. He couldn't remember how to pick it up, and didn't have the strength to push it down hard enough on the paper to get any leverage. He couldn't color, had no motor skills whatsoever. He didn't have a dominant hand. His parents liked to leave him at my learning center for an hour, even though he couldn't use the bathroom on his own. He was 4 years old and didn't have the slightest grasp of the alphabet, and couldn't retain anything we taught him. It took a month to get him to count to 10. 
My theory on all this is, on top of a learning disability/developmental delay his mom was in denial of, he was a natural lefty who was forced to use his right hand but, because of the disability, couldn't, and ended up not developing any motor skills in either hand. Poor kid.  Kelevra29

The Ugly Caterpillar

I taught lower elementary. Most teachers will get frustrated at some point by how hard it can be to get a child who may be lacking upstairs some extra help. This was the case with one of my favorite students. It didn't matter that he couldn't do any of the work that his peers were doing, due to his incredibly low IQ, he was performing "at his ability level." But he was just SO NICE to everyone. 
I had set aside time every day to help him with his reading. We were using the short story of the ugly duckling. It had one short sentence on each page and after two weeks, he could get though it with minimal help. However, reading the words isn't all there is to reading. I had asked him if he could tell me what the story was about since we had spent time on it every day for the last two weeks. He starts his oral retelling off great and I'm super excited. This is a HUGE deal for my man because up until this point, I couldn't get any retell or comprehension out of him. I'm super pumped and he is feeding off my energy and he's so proud of himself. This kid is glowing. 
We are only 3/4 through the story though. We come up to the end of the Ugly Duckling and he's telling me that the duckling CHANGES (this word took him forever to say, much less read!) But then he stops. And goes into this deep think stage. I prod him a little bit- "He changes? What does he change into bud?" He brings his eyes back from the ceiling and then with the biggest smile, he shouts out "A butterfly!"  Vrael90

Just How He Is

My wife had a student in 3rd grade who refused to do any writing assignments. My wife told him that she was going to call his parents to explain to them what was going on if he didn't start doing his work. He said, "I don't care. My mom said I don't have to do anything I don't want to do. Rules don't apply to me." My wife called his mom and his mom told my wife that she (meaning my wife) just has to understand how her son is and if he doesn't want to do the work, then he doesn't have to. His behaviors all made sense after that and it was a very tough year. He stopped doing all work and started harassing other kids (probably partially due to boredom since he was doing nothing else by the end of the year). As long as he was happy, my wife couldn't get the mom on board. Shostakovich22

It's Professor, Not Babysitter

University professor here. A student last term never purchased the text book (and thus never did his homework), sat in the back and spaced out all class, failed one exam, and barely passed the other. He came to me during the final week of class to ask me if he could do all of his missed assignments and then asked why I didn't remind him to do them. Bro, this is university. I'm not chasing after you.  PeriwinkleAppleTree

Ariel Skelley / Getty Images

My Heroes Have Always Been...

While teaching about a particular historical figure, I try to wake this kid up. 
"Did he sell drugs?" 
"Then I don't give a sh*t."  Colpicklejar

Professor Mommy #2

I had one who stopped coming to class for the last 6 weeks of semester, and instead of writing the essay on the exam, wrote a 2 page rant about how "unfair" it was of me to base the exam on stuff that happened in class. Also in the rant, complaints about how I had not called her to remind her to do assignments, come to class and find out what was on the exam.  Unicormfarts

skynesher / Getty Images

Parental Misguidance

There's a young boy who can be very sweet and is an adorable blonde butterball. However he has pretty severe behaviors and gets restrained at some point on a daily basis. I saw his parents one day because they live in government subsidized housing close by and walk him to school. It was 50 degrees out and the little boy was in a basketball jersey and shorts. His parents looked exactly how I expected them to look and were rude to all the staff they interacted with. It just showed me that no matter how much we do, he spends most of his life with his parents.  Kukulkun

For The View

"I don't need to go to college, because it's easier to see God when you're in the gutter."  Chel_of_the_sea

True North

After months of learning about maps and cardinal directions in our grade 9 geography class. 

"Is North always the way you are facing?" Thisguysciences

Maybe YOU Won't Use It

I had a student say, "I don't need to learn any of this, I won't use it in real life". When I tried to explain why math was going to be useful, he responded, "you're a dumba**, watch me get rich without even going to school." I mean sure it's been done but probably not the best idea.

"Are we ever going to use this as an adult?" 
"You won't, but some of the smart kids will."  manymensky JETAlone01

dcdebs / Getty Images

Do I Need to Use a Computer?

I teach Computer Science in university. I get a lot of freshmen that plucked the major because they heard it was a high paying major, but don't actually like the subject. 
But the worst was a recent student that asked if they could just do the assignments by hand. They didn't want to use a computer, they didn't really like using them. "People use computers too much, I don't want to start doing that." Also thought computers could do too much, and wanted people to stop using them. Brah, this is a programming course. For computers. In a major about making computers do things. You are gonna need to use a computer. 
Needless to say, I told them this wasn't probably the major for them...  thecinnaman123

Hero Images / Getty Images

M.R.S. Degree

I had one student at a bilingual school in Mexico, who after being at this school and supposedly learning English for 5+ years, still couldn't speak it and barely tried to make any effort to learn anything. Didn't do assignments and failed almost every test. When we mentioned it to her parents, their attitude was that she doesn't really need it because she will just marry someone who will take care of everything for her. My thought was, "Who would want to marry someone who doesn't know anything and makes no effort?"  shweatyyeti

Hand Holding

I asked my students what they could have done to better prepare themselves for their exam. One responded with "you should have told me to revise better". 

The revision sheets and "this is reallyyyyyy important" wasn't enough apparently...  TheBlondeGeneticist

Wide Blue Yonder

"On a map what is the blue part, the water or the sky?"  thestonez

Historic Map Works LLC / Getty Images

People Reveal The Weirdest Thing About Themselves

Reddit user Isitjustmedownhere asked: 'Give an example; how weird are you really?'

Let's get one thing straight: no one is normal. We're all weird in our own ways, and that is actually normal.

Of course, that doesn't mean we don't all have that one strange trait or quirk that outweighs all the other weirdness we possess.

For me, it's the fact that I'm almost 30 years old, and I still have an imaginary friend. Her name is Sarah, she has red hair and green eyes, and I strongly believe that, since I lived in India when I created her and there were no actual people with red hair around, she was based on Daphne Blake from Scooby-Doo.

I also didn't know the name Sarah when I created her, so that came later. I know she's not really there, hence the term 'imaginary friend,' but she's kind of always been around. We all have conversations in our heads; mine are with Sarah. She keeps me on task and efficient.

My mom thinks I'm crazy that I still have an imaginary friend, and writing about her like this makes me think I may actually be crazy, but I don't mind. As I said, we're all weird, and we all have that one trait that outweighs all the other weirdness.

Redditors know this all too well and are eager to share their weird traits.

It all started when Redditor Isitjustmedownhere asked:

"Give an example; how weird are you really?"

Monsters Under My Bed

"My bed doesn't touch any wall."

"Edit: I guess i should clarify im not rich."

– Practical_Eye_3600

"Gosh the monsters can get you from any angle then."

– bikergirlr7

"At first I thought this was a flex on how big your bedroom is, but then I realized you're just a psycho 😁"

– zenOFiniquity8

Can You See Why?

"I bought one of those super-powerful fans to dry a basement carpet. Afterwards, I realized that it can point straight up and that it would be amazing to use on myself post-shower. Now I squeegee my body with my hands, step out of the shower and get blasted by a wide jet of room-temp air. I barely use my towel at all. Wife thinks I'm weird."

– KingBooRadley


"In 1990 when I was 8 years old and bored on a field trip, I saw a black Oldsmobile Cutlass driving down the street on a hot day to where you could see that mirage like distortion from the heat on the road. I took a “snapshot” by blinking my eyes and told myself “I wonder how long I can remember this image” ….well."

– AquamarineCheetah

"Even before smartphones, I always take "snapshots" by blinking my eyes hoping I'll remember every detail so I can draw it when I get home. Unfortunately, I may have taken so much snapshots that I can no longer remember every detail I want to draw."

"Makes me think my "memory is full.""

– Reasonable-Pirate902

Same, Same

"I have eaten the same lunch every day for the past 4 years and I'm not bored yet."

– OhhGoood

"How f**king big was this lunch when you started?"

– notmyrealnam3

Not Sure Who Was Weirder

"Had a line cook that worked for us for 6 months never said much. My sous chef once told him with no context, "Baw wit da baw daw bang daw bang diggy diggy." The guy smiled, left, and never came back."

– Frostygrunt


"I pace around my house for hours listening to music imagining that I have done all the things I simply lack the brain capacity to do, or in some really bizarre scenarios, I can really get immersed in these imaginations sometimes I don't know if this is some form of schizophrenia or what."

– RandomSharinganUser

"I do the same exact thing, sometimes for hours. When I was young it would be a ridiculous amount of time and many years later it’s sort of trickled off into almost nothing (almost). It’s weird but I just thought it’s how my brain processes sh*t."

– Kolkeia

If Only

"Even as an adult I still think that if you are in a car that goes over a cliff; and right as you are about to hit the ground if you jump up you can avoid the damage and will land safely. I know I'm wrong. You shut up. I'm not crying."

– ShotCompetition2593

Pet Food

"As a kid I would snack on my dog's Milkbones."

– drummerskillit

"Haha, I have a clear memory of myself doing this as well. I was around 3 y/o. Needless to say no one was supervising me."

– Isitjustmedownhere

"When I was younger, one of my responsibilities was to feed the pet fish every day. Instead, I would hide under the futon in the spare bedroom and eat the fish food."

– -GateKeep-

My Favorite Subject

"I'm autistic and have always had a thing for insects. My neurotypical best friend and I used to hang out at this local bar to talk to girls, back in the late 90s. One time he claimed that my tendency to circle conversations back to insects was hurting my game. The next time we went to that bar (with a few other friends), he turned and said sternly "No talking about bugs. Or space, or statistics or other bullsh*t but mainly no bugs." I felt like he was losing his mind over nothing."

"It was summer, the bar had its windows open. Our group hit it off with a group of young ladies, We were all chatting and having a good time. I was talking to one of these girls, my buddy was behind her facing away from me talking to a few other people."

"A cloudless sulphur flies in and lands on little thing that holds coasters."

"Cue Jordan Peele sweating gif."

"The girl notices my tension, and asks if I am looking at the leaf. "Actually, that's a lepidoptera called..." I looked at the back of my friend's head, he wasn't looking, "I mean a butterfly..." I poked it and it spread its wings the girl says "oh that's a BUG?!" and I still remember my friend turning around slowly to look at me with chastisement. The ONE thing he told me not to do."

"I was 21, and was completely not aware that I already had a rep for being an oddball. It got worse from there."

– Phormicidae

*Teeth Chatter*

"I bite ice cream sometimes."


"That's how I am with popsicles. My wife shudders every single time."


Never Speak Of This

"I put ice in my milk."


"You should keep that kind of thing to yourself. Even when asked."

– We-R-Doomed

"There's some disturbing sh*t in this thread, but this one takes the cake."

– RatonaMuffin

More Than Super Hearing

"I can hear the television while it's on mute."

– Tira13e

"What does it say to you, child?"

– Mama_Skip


"I put mustard on my omelettes."

– Deleted User


– NotCrustOr-filling

Evened Up

"Whenever I say a word and feel like I used a half of my mouth more than the other half, I have to even it out by saying the word again using the other half of my mouth more. If I don't do it correctly, that can go on forever until I feel it's ok."

"I do it silently so I don't creep people out."

– LesPaltaX

"That sounds like a symptom of OCD (I have it myself). Some people with OCD feel like certain actions have to be balanced (like counting or making sure physical movements are even). You should find a therapist who specializes in OCD, because they can help you."

– MoonlightKayla

I totally have the same need for things to be balanced! Guess I'm weird and a little OCD!

Close up face of a woman in bed, staring into the camera
Photo by Jen Theodore

Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.

Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?

But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.

It would be so great to be sure there is something else.

But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.

Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:

"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"


Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy

"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."



"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."

"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."

"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."


Take Me Back

"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."

"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."



The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy

"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."


This is why I hate surgery.

You just never know.



"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."



"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."

"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”



"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"


"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"


The Fog

"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."

"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."


Through the Walls

"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."

"She's quite alive and well today."


Well let's all be happy to be alive.

It seems to be all we have.

Man's waist line
Santhosh Vaithiyanathan/Unsplash

Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.

The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.

Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.

Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:

"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"

Redditors didn't see these coming.

Shiver Me Timbers

"I’m always cold now!"

– Telrom_1

"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."

– r7ndom

"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."

– mr_remy

Drawing Concern

"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."

– dee-fondy

"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"

"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."

– LizardofDeath

Unleashing Insults

"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”

"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."

– alanamablamaspama

Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight

"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."

– KeltarCentauri

"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."

– KatMagic1977

"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."

– Jaew96

These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.


"I can buy clothes in any store I want."

– WaySavvyD

"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."

– ganache98012

No More Symptoms

"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."

– colleennicole93

Expanding Capabilities

"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."

– Ramblonius

People Change Their Tune

"How much nicer people are to you."

"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"

– LiZZygsu

"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"

"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"

– awholedamngarden

It's gonna take some getting used to.

Bones Everywhere

"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."

– Princess-Pancake-97

"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."

– bekastrange

Knee Pillow

"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."

– snic2030

"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."

– Strongbad23

More Mobility

"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."

"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."

– dma1965

People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.

But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.

That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.