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Every profession has its frustrations. And sometimes you just feel like giving up on humanity. Teachers are no exception to life's aggravations.
Reddit user Cubbysablo asked:
"Teachers of Reddit, what is something a student of yours has said that made you think 'wow, there is no hope left for you?"
Within 9 days over 15,000 responses were received. Here are some of the most shocking.
He Knew Where He Was Headed
"I don't need to do any of this shit, Mrs. A. I go to jail next week for stealing a car."
Checked up on him five years later, and he was in jail for slamming his gf into the concrete, paralyzing her. aggiechicken
Name Your Sources
Principal at an inner city high school. I had to sit down with a student who had been caught plagiarizing for a second time. This time.... from The Onion. SmoothyMcfly
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Talent Might Be Required
High school teacher here
"Dude, if you don't start coming to class and doing the work, you'll fail out of school."
"School's done nothin for me. I'm gonna rap to pay the bills, bro."
Kid was an awful musician. Couldn't make a beat. Couldn't write a rhyme to save his life. DangerousKidTurtle
Maybe More Than a Few More
Kid (totally serious) "I'm going to drop out. I'll make money off of YouTube"
Me "How many views are your videos getting?"
Kid "I have 4 subscribers, so I just need a few more" gamsambill
If It Was Easy, It Wouldn't Be Work
"Can we just not learn this? It's hard. We should just skip it." RestEqualsRust
Million Dollar Listing
"I don't have to get good grades. My grandfather owns a house and when he dies, my family is going to sell it for a million dollars, so I won't have to ever get a job." RestEqualsRust
That's Not What Random Numbers Means
Spent 15 minutes on a math lesson, do examples. hand out worksheet, do one ON the worksheet with them. He asked: "So you just want us to fill this in with random numbers?" Speechless. Mathgailuke
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"I want to be a drug dealer, but the cool kind. You know, the ones that wear a suit and carry a briefcase." He was 17 at the time and completely serious. He was expelled a month later for jumping another student. Icon7d
My wife told me this story about a time she was lecturing a kid on why he should try to do well in school. She asked him what he wanted to be when he grows up... his response "I want to be in jail. That's where my dad and uncle is." She had no response. Probably the only time in her career that she was left speechless by a student. anash5289
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You Mean Accounting?
I teach high school math/geometry. One of my students said "Why do we even need math? All I care about is money." His classmates proceeded to laugh. C11Scriber
Law is Related to Government
I teach 1st year US law students. More than you would care to believe, they don't know America has 3 branches of government, much less what the branches do. Pali_Upekkha
I had a first grader throw chairs and desks at me for about a week (after 2 months of horrific behavior that the parents and administration ignored), one hard enough to injure my knee, before I finally had enough video evidence for the principal to get involved. He (student) refused to speak to me at all. Eventually my co teaching partner got him to explain why he was doing it. "I just don't like him."
I feel bad for the kid. He has serious emotional problems. I don't know if I'd say there is no hope left, because 1st grade is pretty young to write someone off. I hope he gets treatment. WaxStatue
Just Waiting to be 16
"I ain't doin any of that sh*t. My mom already said she's signing the papers [to dropout] as soon as I turn 16." lazyf-inirishman
Mighty Oaks From Tiny Acorns
I used to teach science in a public high school. Had to convince a sophomore that trees came from seeds... blew his mind. sabrielz
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For Better or Worse
Not a teacher but worked at a school for awhile. Had a 4th grader say that he didn't need school because he was going to have a wife and she would do everything. Same student while disrupting the entire class also said "What are you going to do? I know you can't hit me." frostyfeet1050
At Least She Had a Career Plan
A girl (8th Grade) told me she wanted to have kids (2-3) by the time she was 18 so she could have the energy to keep up with them and then be an exotic dancer to support them. MSUSpartan06
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I had one 4 year old who couldn't hold a pencil. He couldn't remember how to pick it up, and didn't have the strength to push it down hard enough on the paper to get any leverage. He couldn't color, had no motor skills whatsoever. He didn't have a dominant hand. His parents liked to leave him at my learning center for an hour, even though he couldn't use the bathroom on his own. He was 4 years old and didn't have the slightest grasp of the alphabet, and couldn't retain anything we taught him. It took a month to get him to count to 10.
My theory on all this is, on top of a learning disability/developmental delay his mom was in denial of, he was a natural lefty who was forced to use his right hand but, because of the disability, couldn't, and ended up not developing any motor skills in either hand. Poor kid. Kelevra29
The Ugly Caterpillar
I taught lower elementary. Most teachers will get frustrated at some point by how hard it can be to get a child who may be lacking upstairs some extra help. This was the case with one of my favorite students. It didn't matter that he couldn't do any of the work that his peers were doing, due to his incredibly low IQ, he was performing "at his ability level." But he was just SO NICE to everyone.
I had set aside time every day to help him with his reading. We were using the short story of the ugly duckling. It had one short sentence on each page and after two weeks, he could get though it with minimal help. However, reading the words isn't all there is to reading. I had asked him if he could tell me what the story was about since we had spent time on it every day for the last two weeks. He starts his oral retelling off great and I'm super excited. This is a HUGE deal for my man because up until this point, I couldn't get any retell or comprehension out of him. I'm super pumped and he is feeding off my energy and he's so proud of himself. This kid is glowing.
We are only 3/4 through the story though. We come up to the end of the Ugly Duckling and he's telling me that the duckling CHANGES (this word took him forever to say, much less read!) But then he stops. And goes into this deep think stage. I prod him a little bit- "He changes? What does he change into bud?" He brings his eyes back from the ceiling and then with the biggest smile, he shouts out "A butterfly!" Vrael90
Just How He Is
My wife had a student in 3rd grade who refused to do any writing assignments. My wife told him that she was going to call his parents to explain to them what was going on if he didn't start doing his work. He said, "I don't care. My mom said I don't have to do anything I don't want to do. Rules don't apply to me." My wife called his mom and his mom told my wife that she (meaning my wife) just has to understand how her son is and if he doesn't want to do the work, then he doesn't have to. His behaviors all made sense after that and it was a very tough year. He stopped doing all work and started harassing other kids (probably partially due to boredom since he was doing nothing else by the end of the year). As long as he was happy, my wife couldn't get the mom on board. Shostakovich22
It's Professor, Not Babysitter
University professor here. A student last term never purchased the text book (and thus never did his homework), sat in the back and spaced out all class, failed one exam, and barely passed the other. He came to me during the final week of class to ask me if he could do all of his missed assignments and then asked why I didn't remind him to do them. Bro, this is university. I'm not chasing after you. PeriwinkleAppleTree
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My Heroes Have Always Been...
While teaching about a particular historical figure, I try to wake this kid up.
"Did he sell drugs?"
"Then I don't give a sh*t." Colpicklejar
Professor Mommy #2
I had one who stopped coming to class for the last 6 weeks of semester, and instead of writing the essay on the exam, wrote a 2 page rant about how "unfair" it was of me to base the exam on stuff that happened in class. Also in the rant, complaints about how I had not called her to remind her to do assignments, come to class and find out what was on the exam. Unicormfarts
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There's a young boy who can be very sweet and is an adorable blonde butterball. However he has pretty severe behaviors and gets restrained at some point on a daily basis. I saw his parents one day because they live in government subsidized housing close by and walk him to school. It was 50 degrees out and the little boy was in a basketball jersey and shorts. His parents looked exactly how I expected them to look and were rude to all the staff they interacted with. It just showed me that no matter how much we do, he spends most of his life with his parents. Kukulkun
For The View
"I don't need to go to college, because it's easier to see God when you're in the gutter." Chel_of_the_sea
After months of learning about maps and cardinal directions in our grade 9 geography class.
"Is North always the way you are facing?" Thisguysciences
Maybe YOU Won't Use It
I had a student say, "I don't need to learn any of this, I won't use it in real life". When I tried to explain why math was going to be useful, he responded, "you're a dumba**, watch me get rich without even going to school." I mean sure it's been done but probably not the best idea.
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Do I Need to Use a Computer?
I teach Computer Science in university. I get a lot of freshmen that plucked the major because they heard it was a high paying major, but don't actually like the subject.
But the worst was a recent student that asked if they could just do the assignments by hand. They didn't want to use a computer, they didn't really like using them. "People use computers too much, I don't want to start doing that." Also thought computers could do too much, and wanted people to stop using them. Brah, this is a programming course. For computers. In a major about making computers do things. You are gonna need to use a computer.
Needless to say, I told them this wasn't probably the major for them... thecinnaman123
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I had one student at a bilingual school in Mexico, who after being at this school and supposedly learning English for 5+ years, still couldn't speak it and barely tried to make any effort to learn anything. Didn't do assignments and failed almost every test. When we mentioned it to her parents, their attitude was that she doesn't really need it because she will just marry someone who will take care of everything for her. My thought was, "Who would want to marry someone who doesn't know anything and makes no effort?" shweatyyeti
I asked my students what they could have done to better prepare themselves for their exam. One responded with "you should have told me to revise better".
The revision sheets and "this is reallyyyyyy important" wasn't enough apparently... TheBlondeGeneticist
Wide Blue Yonder
"On a map what is the blue part, the water or the sky?" thestonez
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Sometimes you just don't have any money and you have to make it work. I learned how to make the most out of bargains at the grocery store and know how to make food that is hearty and will last more than a day or two. Beans and rice are your friends, by the way. You'd be surprised by how many delicious meals you can make with just these two basic ingredients.
Being poor requires you to be creative.
Penny pinching is an art, as we were so deftly reminded after Redditor naranja_cheese asked the online community,
"What is the most penny pinching you've ever done?"
"I used to steal..."
"I used to steal half-used rolls of tp when I was a janitor. Lived off white rice and Worcestershire sauce for months. Got a job as a cook & always saved a few scraps while plating people's food so I would have something to eat without paying for a meal. Also worked at a butcher shop& would take home bones to roast and make a stew with. I can share hundreds of things like this."
"I worked part-time..."
"I worked part-time in school, but was pretty broke. I wasn't being paid until the following day, and I needed soy sauce for my extra super tasty stir fry. I literally had negative funds in my account. So I went to the grocery store, grabbed a sushi tray, threw a ton of packets of soy sauce in my pocket (they don't charge you for these), wandered a bit, pretended I changed my mind, and left."
"While at the grocery store..."
"While at the grocery store, putting back that pack of chicken breast that cost $2.98 for the other pack of chicken breast that cost $2.95."
"Things were insanely tight..."
"Used to make my own laundry detergent during a time when we had relocated and our prior home had not sold so we had rent on top of a mortgage for 18 months. Things were insanely tight in those days, to say the least."
I definitely know what this is like.
"I took some cedar boards..."
"I had no money for Christmas gifts. I only had enough to pay rent. I took some cedar boards in the backyard, cut them, burnt them a little black as I had no money to finish them. Then I passed them off as cutting boards."
"One Friday night..."
"One Friday night in college, my two buddies and I had a grand total of $3 to our names. I bought a box of Mac 'n Cheese, a can(!) of escargot, and three Lil' Debbie Star Crunches. We had a full meal with starch, protein, and dessert."
"I lived on pasta..."
"When I was at university my entire budget was less than £40 a week. I lived on pasta and stolen sauce packets from the Students Union. The cafeteria ladies would always take pity on me at closing time and give me free burgers."
"I lost my job..."
"I lost my job and lived in a $1400/month apartment where electricity (which included heat) and internet were ludicrously expensive. $400-450 a month in the winter because the building was an old mill with huge windows and no insulation. Fortunately, gas and water were free."
"I only turned on my lights when I had to, turned off the heat entirely, and heated my apartment by boiling a huge pot of water on the gas stove 24 hours a day and going to the business center to use the free DSL connection to apply for jobs. I ate rice with frozen vegetables and spices for three months."
"It sucked, but I got by."
Hopefully things are much better now.
"If I ate fast food..."
"If I ate fast food or takeout food, I would ask for extra sauce packets or garnishes that they give out for free. I would stock up on them, use them when I cook instead of buying the stuff from the store. For example, a $1 box of pasta, a clove of garlic, and 2-3 ramekins of parm cheese, half ramekin of chili flakes, and a pinch of Italian herbs I got from a pizza place makes a quick meal."
"My local mall..."
"My local mall used to do paid surveys, you'd watch a video or try some new soda or whatever and they'd give you a couple of dollars. Then I'd use that to buy a meal."
Sometimes you've just gotta do what you've gotta do. It's not easy.
Have some stories of your own? Feel free to tell us about them in the comments below!
Now, this isn't going to be a long, "Let's all pile on how bad the internet is and only think about the good ol' days when the rocks were soft and we could only communicate using cans with string."
People old enough to remember life pre-Internet, what are some less obvious things you miss about that time?
Many habits we used to possess were made completely irrelevant thanks to the internet. Not that we didn't enjoy doing them, we just started asking ourselves, "What's the point?"
Completely Devoid Of Technological Interference
"Leaving home and just being gone for the day. No cell phones. If there were cameras, it was really different. You used them to take pictures of things or had people take pictures of you. But there was no social media to preoccupy your mind. It was just doing something. And whoever you were with, was who you were with."
No One Needs 24 Hours Of Nonsense
"News only being on at 6pm. That was it. Now we have 6 hours of local news and 24 hours of cable news. Not being bombarded all day with "news." And when you saw "Breaking News" on the screen you knew something serious went down."
You Mean We Actually Have To Go?
"It used to be a lot harder to bail on things. You'd have to call the person at home and tell them yourself, or at least leave a message if you wanted to be risky. Typically if you were gonna bail you'd give at least 24 hours notice. Nowadays people can let you know they're bailing last second since you're always reachable."
"RSVPing mattered. If you said you were going to be there, you made sure to be there. None of this facebook invites that everyone blows off without any form of social repercussions. If you said you were going to go and didn't go, you were the a--hole and everyone knew it."
You can get almost anything on the internet. Almost. Still no sign of real working Lightsabers anywhere out there, but the internet has eliminated many of our purchasing practices.
Just In Time For The Holidays!
"The Sears catalog. That was how I found out about all the cool new toys."
"Catalogs in general, for me. Before the internet made mindless browsing of stuff you didn't need ~really~ easy to do, we still liked doing this without having to drive to the mall. The solution? Sign your mom up for those cool seed catalogs, those not safe to browse at the office gag gift catalogs and then everything in between. That stuff was really nice to have when you grew up somewhere that was not even cable ready."
1 Good Song Out Of 15
"When you bought new music you just had to hope it was good. The single might be popular but otherwise unless someone had it you just bought it and hoped for the best."
"There was so much excitement to going to a cd store to buy an album that you only knew one song of or the band/artist name and just listening to that entire cd over and over again picking out which tracks were your favorite while still learning every lyric to all the songs on the album.
Building a cd collection was also fun."
Talk About The "Immediate Gratification" Generation, Huh?
"The instant win bottle caps / candy / chocolate bar wrappers where you could turn them back into the store and immediately get a free one. Now it's just codes you have to register on their website so they can get your info, i don't even bother anymore."
Finally, there's these activities, to difficult to explain to anyone who wasn't there. How do you get someone to understand that not having a supercomputer in your pocket at all hours of the day radically changed your life?
Keeping It In Front Of You
"I miss having an attention span of more than three seconds"
"It's so weird. I can only vaguely remember what it feels like to not have a smartphone and to be alone and think.
Wondering what my friends are doing and if they'd like to do something on the weekend. We'd have to talk during lunch break at school and plan it...
Trying to find the answer to a math problem... Having to figure it out by re-reading the problem and explanations 5 times."
There Used To Be A Time When You Couldn't Play Everything
"Not being overwhelmed by choice.
Don't get me wrong, having nearly every form of media downloadable is great, but back in the day, i rented a video game and i played that video game as much as i could.
Now, its hard to give it more than 2 seconds before i try one of the 20,000 games i have access to.
New game plus used to be cool. Now, I'm happy if just beat the game"
Floundering. Just A Little.
"My formative years were the 1980s. I remember like yesterday going to study in Paris my junior year of college. I got off the plane with no cell phone, no internet, a Let's Go Paris book, and just a hostel address written on a piece of paper I'd stuck in a French dictionary. I did not know a single person in all of France.
I had $500 of cash stuck in a money belt. The belt was tight and sweaty but that money had to last me for at least a month until I could find a part-time job with my lousy French. My "credit card" was my father's credit card numbers written down on a piece of paper. He told me I could only use it to buy a plane ticket home in an emergency.
I remember standing in the airport and having this powerful emotion of being 21 years old, scared sh-tless, but in absolutely completely control of my own destiny. There was absolutely nobody who could come rushing to my aid if I needed it. I was 100% on my own.
I'm actually very thankful for that experience. I found the hostel. I found a job. I made friends. I learned French. I made it all on my own which was just a big boost in life confidence.
I have no doubt if I'd had a cell phone I would've called my parents on Day 2, told them it was too hard, and been on the next plane home. But I had no other choice but to succeed."
We can never go back. Not really, anyway. The only way is to keep going forward, be aware of the effect the internet has on us, and do our best to not let it take away the things that really matter in our lives.
Look, unless you enjoy cooking, no one likes spending time in the kitchen longer than they have to in order to whip up something mediocre to eat.
Ordering food or, for the time being, enjoying a socially distanced lunch at an establishment is convenient, but it can take a toll on your wallet.
So what options are there?
Fortunately, there are plenty of them that do not involve nuking a frozen entree.
"What's your go-to under 5 minute meal?"
These dinner selections are super sufficient.
A Loaded Course
"Two hotdogs and a side of judgement from my fiancé"
In Case You Didn't Know
"Quesadilla. super quick and easy to make and there's a ton of ingredients that you can add without much effort that will make it even better."
"Ramen and an egg, but not the traditional way."
- "Boil roughly half an inch of water (we want just enough water to boil the noodles, with very little water left over when it's done boiling)."
- "Smash up the ramen noodles, while still in the package (optional but cooks MUCH faster)."
- "Open the package and remove the seasoning."
- "Dump the noodles in."
- "While boiling, crack an egg and whisk in a small bowl."
- "Noodles should be done and almost all the water should be gone, if not strain out some.
- Remove from the heat."
- "Slowly pour in the egg while mixing very quickly, try not to let the egg touch the pan."
- "Mix as much of the seasoning packet as you like (I prefer 1/2 - 3/4 because I usually add a salty component at the end.)"
- "Add to bowl and top with some chives, thinly sliced, ripped up ham/salami and/or parsley. Leftover bacon or pancetta are fantastic crunchy components to dial up the texture."
"Easy, fast and checks so many of the 'munchie' boxes for me."
Don't Underestimate Soups
"Tomato soup and add tortellini. I like the spinach ones from Trader Joe's and Progreso creamy tomato with basil. It's bomb and it really makes a decent meal."
For people in a rush, these tasty snacks would suffice.
Goes Well With Veggies And Cheese
"Hummus is such an underrated food. It goes well with a lot of veggies and breads and chips or heck even cheese. All the time I hear hummus being listed as one of those weird, gross foods when its actually an amazing snack, or a meal if done correctly. It's not really unhealthy, either, especially if eaten with veggies (celery and carrots go great with hummus)."
Ready In Seconds
"All I do is get a paper towel, and put 5 Oreos on it."
"Then go back and get the whole package."
Peanut Butter Fantasies
"Peanut butter sandwich."
"If I'm feeling extra froggy I'll add nutella to the peanut butter and honey sandwich and put it in the microwave for 30 seconds. Goes down about as well as a popeye's biscuit though."
"It's like cheating the system. You eat sweets and call it healthy."
Start your day without all the hassle of a fancy breakfast.
Put It In A Bowl
"Oatmeal or cereal."
"Cereal is definitely underrated as a meal outside of the breakfast dynamic."
"A very simple recipe my grandma prepared for me when i was a kid."
"It's basically scrambled eggs...but before adding the egg she would cook sweetcorn (from a can) with a little bit of butter, add the eggs and then when the eggs were almost ready, add small cubes of cheese and cook for a minute or until the cheese start to melt (she was using fontal, but any swiss or white cheddar will do). Just a little black pepper and salt."
"Takes 5 minutes to do but it's absolutely delicious, fill you up, not so unhealthy and I feel my late grandma with me."
'I tried variations with chives or spring onions, paprika or other stuff. Still good but nothing as good as a simple "uova strapazzate con mais e formaggio.'"
I consider yogurt a healthy snack/lunch option.
I like having a bowl of non-fat plain Greek yogurt with raspberries, blueberries, sprinkled with granola and drizzled with honey.
It's packed with nutrients and gives me a nice boost of energy.
Yogurt also makes for a perfect chip dip. I sprinkle some onion soup mix and stir in the mixture. Who knew quick and easy food prep could be so delicious?
We all like to assume that a big old scar has an amazing, hardcore story behind it: maybe a valiant fight or some life threatening-escape.
But despite what Hollywood would have us think, that is so rarely the case.
Usually, some kind of bizarre accident leaves us with the biggest scar of our life. There's no action movie story behind it, just a careful mixture of foolishness and bad luck.
Clearly not put off by some gruesome anecdotes, Redditor fluffybear45 asked:
"People with scars, how did you get them?"
For many, it was the wild antics of childhood that left them slightly maimed. With many years now separating the Redditor from the event, these were pretty hilarious.
Out of Nowhere!
"I was playing on a swing and then my leg got stuck in barbed wire." -- Soviet_God-Emperor
"I feel like we missed a couple steps here, or your local park had some serious issues." -- Henfrid
"Yo that went from 0 to 100 real fast" -- IHaveButt
"2nd grade, defective slip-n-slide." -- AdmiralAkbar1
"I'm pretty sure the general design of the slip'n'slide was defective. Those stakes weren't covered originally, so you had to be straight down the middle of the slide or else....." -- Q-burt
"Could you refer to this incident in a gravely voice while staring into the middle distance, pausing only to shudder and sip your scotch?" -- CaptValentine
That's Why You Need an Axe Yard
"My dad hit me with an axe (bladed side) in the face. Stupid 10 yo me just had to look over his shoulder while he was hammering in herrings for our tent."
Others talked about freak accidents that came not from the stupidity of childhood, but the bad luck of mistakes made as an adult.
Bad Conditions for Practice
"Dad gave me a folding knife for Christmas"
"I read online that you could flick it open with one hand"
"So I practiced it, after my hands were greasy from eating a burger"
Take Your Pick
"Multiple long scars on my back are from falling onto a old soviet steel welcome mat ( i dont know how to describe it in english but its meant to wipe dirt of your shoes with triangle shaped steel beams."
"Medium sized one on my forearm is from a barbed wire fence, another one next to it is from a motorcycle accident and one on the base on my thumb is from a cars hood slipping and cutting me."
One Heck Of a Fall
" 'This one is from a skateboard, this one was a truck accident, and this one was a fire hydrant.' "
" 'Oh really? I bet each one has a very unique story.' "
" 'Not really, I skateboarded off of a truck into a fire hydrant.' "
Last, some people talked about the medical procedures that left them with the big gash. These stories had some ninth grade words and not nearly as much stupidity.
"A rare auto immune disorder called pyoderma gangrenosum twice... Don't google If you don't like gore... I had to have daily wound care and high doses of medical steroids"
"My intestines telescoped on themselves 8" scar on my belly." -- Anom8675309
"I never wanted to see the words 'intestines' and 'telescoped' together. Ouch." -- LadySygerrik
"I was born 2 months premature. I wasn't born with an esophagus so drs. cut my stomach open and used parts of my colon or intestines and created a new one for me. I have a huge scar on my neck and my stomach is one big scar. Also had a stomach feeding tube for quite a bit and heart surgery at 2 days old."
"I love science. I wouldn't have experienced life if it hadn't been for advances in medical science."
So if you've been sitting on an embarrassing backstory for one of your scars, feel free to share. You're hardly alone.