Impressed Teachers Admit The Funniest Answers Students Gave That Ended Up Being Right
Class participation is 10% of your grade.
Teaching can be exhausting, monotonous, and dry--which is what students think about school anyway, so it's good to know everybody is on a level playing field. But students can really come up with some crazy things out of nowhere--it's what makes our jobs as teachers interesting. So when Reddit user muffinorgy asked:
All us teachers got ready for a bumpy ride.
Baby Geniuses
My first grade class was learning the word powerful. Kids came up with examples of powerful things and people, like elephants and superman. Then one boy said, "babies are powerful because they can cry and get whatever they want."
The Second State
"Teacher, I need a pencil."
"Where do the pencils live?" (I have a bucket of sharpened pencils for them to use.)
"Pennsylvania?"
Homonyms!
I'm a teacher in Canada, told the kids to name me 5 US states and their row could go out for recess first.
Boy raises his hand and says "Rattlesnake?"
"What? Hah, oh snakes. No no, STATES. Name 5 states."
Same kid "T-Bone?"
"You're naming steaks? STATES. STAATES."
Resource teacher was in the room and we were crying laughing.
Debate
In 7th grade on a test the question said "Why do some people see some technology as positive, and others see the same technology as a problem?" and a kid simply put, "Because some people are Amish."
A New Look
Phys. Ed teacher here - I always wear shorts teaching. Parent-teacher conferences roll around, grade 1 student comes up to me with her parents - "Mr. Famous1187, I've never seen you wear pants before". I've never responded quicker to a comment before in my life to clear that up.
Profane, But Correct
Teaching English to middle schoolers in Korea, asked: "Ok, what's another way you can express surprise in English?" (after going over expressions like, "No way!", "Are you serious?" "Are you kidding me?")
Kid yells from the very back of the room: "WHAT THE F-CK!?"
Shortcuts
ESL teacher. I had my students do an activity where they had to give directions based off of a map and situations I had chosen. The final question was more complex, and one of my students wrote, "Way too difficult, take a cab."
Existential Syntax
I've taught English in Korea and Japan, and while maybe not that funny one student who wanted to say something like "afterwards" or "in the end" wrote "the after was here". I stopped for a moment and just stared off into space after reading that.
Co-what?
I teach ESL in a university in China. The topic in class was the effect of sleep on study. After introducing the phrase "pulling an all-nighter," I asked the students to give some advice on how they can stay awake in class after the pulled an all nighter.
Student: "Take some cocaine."
Me: gives student an odd look "Excuse me?"
Student: "Yes, you know, like in Coca-Cola, coffee, tea..."
Me: pauses for a moment, now understanding what exactly what he meant, but prompting him "Cocaine?"
Student: realizes what he has done "Oh sh-t, I meant caffeine.
Some Pig
(On a 3rd grade Charlotte's Web quiz): Give 2 pieces of evidence that support this statement: "Charlotte was a good friend to Wilbur""
"She comforted him and she didn't let him become pork."
Too True
In nutrition class at Community College, the teacher asks "what's one of the first things you throw out of the window when you drink alcohol", this kid just mumbles: "standards".
Stacking
The question: A man has to get a fox, a chicken, and a sack of corn across a river. He has a rowboat, and it can only carry him and one other thing. If the fox and the chicken are left together, the fox will eat the chicken. If the chicken and the corn are left together, the chicken will eat the corn. How does the man do it?
Student's answer: "Let the chicken eat the corn, and let the fox eat the chicken. Then bring the fox over."
Listen, Dammit
I've got a story from my fiancee's childhood. They were testing her intelligence or awareness, and showed her an image with a tv in a room. The tv was turned on, showing a cartoon, and had a plant on top of it.
Q: What's on the Television?
A: A plant.
Apparently she just kept insisting in utter frustration until the administrator bothered to look at the image and not the answer sheet.
The Caped Crusader
On a science task, students had to match the predator to the prey. One kid was matching a robin, and instead of matching it to the worm....he scratched it out and wrote Joker.
Neighbor- or Chemical-
I teach forensic science.
We were going to be using iodine to fume fingerprints. Iodine vapor is no joke, so I terrify the students and use only two volunteers with goggles and respirators at the chemical hood. But, we still all go over the MSDS, PPE, and equipment.
I spent maybe five minutes talking about everything and the chemical hood to my class of thirty. Towards the end,
"So. Someone tell me: what is a hood?"
A hand shoots up.
"Yes, [student]."
"It's, like, the place where you grow up."
I facepalm, the class laughs, and I'm unable to pivot his answer in the moment.
Yes, That Is Correct
This is intentional, but I teach a foreign language, and so when I introduce the word for "I don't know" I call on a student who typically gets answers wrong, and ask them to translate the word as if (s)he should know it. When the student inevitability responds, "I don't know" I tell them they're right and the look on their face is always priceless.
Candid(e) Answers
In a class that deals with electricity, I asked the students to name a good conductor.
Leonard Bernstein.
Personal Answers
Not the teacher but witnessed this in class:
Sociology Prof: "Why do you conform?"
Student: "It has always been my goal in life to blend in."
Soc Prof: "No more questions for you."
That's That
I wrote an exam where the question was "Can you name three *models of DNA replication?"
she wrote, "No."
Failed Exams
The student teacher took us into a private room one by one for eye exams. I've never taken an eye exam before and it wasn't really explained to me what was happening. I was just sat down and asked to read the first line of the chart. Then the second. Then the third. By the time it came to the fourth line I was like "It's too small for me to read, one minute please", then I got up, walked over to the board and started reading the letters. Apparently that's not how you do eye exams.
Integrity
I asked 'when is a time you have used integrity?'
He wrote down 'I wash my hands after going to the bathroom, even if no one is in there'.
Exploded Or Bigger?
Not a teacher, but something my brother answered for homework.
My brother was in year 1, and his homework was to draw a balloon "blown up". He drew a picture with lots of squiggly shapes spread out across the paper. He took it as the balloon blown up, like a bomb, so he drew the leftovers of an exploded balloon. His teacher loved it and gave him full marks!
Retorts
Teaching grade 5. Students were fooling around during group work so I said sarcastically, "Do I need to stand here and watch you do your work?" to which the student responded even more sarcastically, "Well you don't have to stand, you can grab the chair and sit."
