This Makes Me Sick To My Stomach

Was absent for too many days. Had doctor's notes and chronic health problems, was told to never come back.

chaosinboots

Student: absent for too many days.

School: EXPELS STUDENT SO THEY MISS MORE DAYS BECAUSE THEY MISSED DAYS.

Teo_1234

What Could've Possessed Them To Do That?

I went to a private Christian University, and I have a friend who got expelled for supposedly exorcizing a demon out of someone in the middle of a wide open courtyard.

wm24rogers

You can tell it worked because she finally yelled, for all to hear, "Jesus, I'm coming!"

Harold76

I mean, isn't that better than letting them remain possessed? (cause, ya know they believe in that stuff)

MTAlphawolf

When Push Comes To Stab

Pulled a knife on a girl who'd been bullying me and beating me up for nearly 2 years, after all attempts at intervention failed. I was in physical jeopardy every single day at school and teachers literally watched me get my head slammed into lockers and did nothing. My clothes were stolen during PE and I had to go to class in my dirty gym uniform. I was shoved down stairs. The vice-principal gave my parents lip service. The parents of the girl who was my worst bully said I was making it up. Cops?

This was the 80s, the cops didn't care about school bullies. So I threatened this in front of a large number of students that I would stab her in the throat if she ever touched me again.

I got expelled, then my mother threatened to sue the entire school district and the vice-principal personally. My mother was not a woman to be f*cked with, and she managed to get them to reverse the expulsion and only put me in in-school suspension for 10 days.

The school still wouldn't move my locker or change my classes but that girl didn't f*ck with me again. No one did for the rest of the school year because they thought I was crazy. So at least that worked.

gambitgrl

This Prank Was A Delicious Treat

Told my classmates the dog treats I brought were jerky. Everyone including a couple from our sister class and the teachers ate them.

Killer____tofu

that's a weird reason to get expelled. it's not like it was poison.

certstatus

I agree. But since I didn't tell them what they were actually eating I guess they looked at it as I was trying to poison people. This was also in elementary school so I mean I can only assume all the adults involved were fairly upset.

Killer____tofu

He's In Prison Now

Can I answer by proxy with a story?

My high school was one of those high schools where we have a cop who just kind of chills at the one busy hallway intersection. Presumably to deal with drugs or fights or some sh*t.

One day a kid was acting out, I wish I knew the full details but all I knew was he started some kind of altercation or fight and the cop stopped him. The kid was said something like "you better get your hands off me" and of course the cop did not get his hands off him.

The kid headbutted the cop and disoriented him then just beat the piss out of him and hospitalized him. That kid obviously got expelled, we got a new cop for our school, and I'm pretty sure that kid is still in jail because I think he was 18 so he didn't even get to get tried like a minor.

This was an extraordinary story, my school was not usually this bad. We had a lot of pot heads and a fight every now and then but that was about it.

Raze321

A Dance To Remember

Wow reading some of these reasons I'm realizing that a lot of people at my catholic high school should have been expelled. We had a dance once and the lights had to be turned on and the dance stopped because two kids were having sex on the dance floor. The girl was a teachers daughter. Also a friend of mine puked on my principals desk because she was so drunk and another girl sh*t in the girls bathroom sink. Oh and another guy punched his gf and a random dude because they were dancing together. All of these people only got suspended for a few days. It also all occurred during dances and somehow the school still continues to have dances.

sillysmiles

He's  A Podiatrist Now

Wasn't my expulsion. Dude in my (Catholic) high school was trouble. Long line of disciplinary infractions. Final straw was that a friend of his got a new car so he decided to wank off on it.

The senior parking lot was a busy social scene before and after school. People would arrive around 30 minutes early and hang around their cars. Couples would have a pre-class makeout, folks would chat etc.

So this guy, in front of all of us, pulled his pants down to his knees and began beating his baloney. It was funny for the first three seconds or so. Then it became clear that this guy was going to finish the job.

Some girls made disgusted sounds. Some guys laughed. Most people were just sort of in shock in having witnessed that.

Dude was gone by the end of the day. Announcement that afternoon to all students that he was no longer permitted on school premises, to include the parking lot, and no one was to permit him entry to our buildings.

He's a podiatrist now.

TheFire_Eagle

It's All Fun And Games Until Someone Gets Punched

Happened to my best friend.

In marching band in high school we all sat at the same cafeteria table. At the end of it, someone punched someone in the shoulder and said pass it on. And down the side of the table you'd get punched in the shoulder, you turn to the person next to you, punch them and say "pass it on".

My friend across the table was just playing the game and punched the kid next to him, we are in high school mind you. This kid starts crying, and I mean crying really really hard. Lunch is over and he runs to the assistant principal and tells him. The principal gets involved and the punched kid's parents come in at the end of the day demanding my friend be expelled.

The assistant principal interviews some of us from the table and I said we were all playing and nobody punched anybody hard. He didn't buy it. Friend got expelled for 120 days. Had to reapply back to the school at the next school year and when he did was put on academic suspension which meant any screwups and he was permanently expelled from the school district.

As for punched kid, I read a news article a couple years later where his father beat up his mother on Christmas Eve over.

Americasycho

That was a hell of an ending.

The_Pelican1245

The Administration Strikes Back

Lightsaber battle.

My friends and I arranged a giant lightsaber battle on the last day of my sophomore year of high school. It was a huge hit with the students, but the faculty wasn't thrilled.

Being a private school, they felt it hurt their image and singled me out as the ring-leader. On my first day back after the summer I was put on academic probation and expelled about a week later for "profanity".

Went to public school for my junior and senior year.

CarlSaganMan

It's A Catholic Man's World...

I had a girl in my Catholic high school get expelled for getting pregnant, but her boyfriend who admitted it was his was allowed to stay.

samisoy

What a great way to teach kids responsibility, and give that unborn child a real headstart at life.

BobbyRobertsJr

Watch Your Language

Not me, but my brother got expelled for using a vocabulary word correctly in a sentence.

For context, it was not that long after Columbine, and people were overreacting to every little thing. My brother was not a bad kid, but was a bullied kid with a smart mouth. He had a history of making "threats" (read: he once told another kid he was going to eat his grandchildren).

Long story short, it was English class, and the teacher called on him and asked him to use the word "retribution" in a sentence. He said something to the effect of "I will have retribution on those who have wronged me." School took it as a threat and with his past record, he was expelled.

Oztaroth

Honestly there's no real way to use that word and not make it sound creepy or threatening.

PanOfCakes

My friend and I stole a girl's reading book, singeing the edges of the cover so it would look like "lost pirate booty," and hid it in the art room. Then we used three rolls of masking tape to create a 3D spiral "maze" of stickiness that criss-crossed the room, and gave the girl a singed-edged "pirate map" to locate her book. She rolled her eyes at us, clambered through the tape-maze, and retrieved her book, calling us "dorks" and laughing.

However, a teacher discovered the taped-up art room before we had a chance to take it down. My friend and I were called to the principal. I figured we were going to get in some trouble to wasting tape, or possibly suspended for using a lighter inside school.

Nope.

I'm So Excited, I'm So Excited, I'm So...Scared

I had to go before the school board to see if I was gonna get expelled but they decided not to. I sold a bunch of caffeine pills to my friends for .25 a piece and they were all worried about drugs. They even sent them off to be tested.

RosieTheTortoise

I do the exact same thing. I'm a debate kid currently in HS and I sell caffeine pills at tournaments. It's a really good place to sell caffeine because tournaments usually have wack scheduling. Us debaters usually have to be at school at around 5-7 in the morning after being in round until about midnight at most tourns.

Since the debate community has a huge adderall problem, its understandable why a kid selling caffeine pills at tournaments would be concerning to schools, so I make sure nobody says anything. Nobody that's an administrator has found out yet, and its an easy way to make a quick buck.

Adstrata

A Porn-Again Muslim

Was watching porn in the back of the class with a couple of mates, we were 14 and it was religion period. Half way through the volume randomly went up and you could hear f*ck me while the teacher was reading Quran.

parzoval-down50

This is amazing. I'm not really religious, but I attended a Muslim school from grade 3-6 so given how strict they are on the most mundane sh!t, this really cracks me up. Could you expand on that story please.

Youre-mum

I moved to Lebanon from Germany at the age of 7, parents thought It would be a good idea for my sister and I to go to a religious school (religious and cultural reasons). I studied there for about 10 years of which have not only pushed my sister and Myself away from Islam, but also my parents actually (ironic right?). Anyhow, I only got excluded for 10 days, when my dad picked me up and asked me why I was excluded, I told him it was porn and he couldn't stop laughing.

Even funnier though, our school was split in half, boys section and a girls sections. One time, my sister forgot her lunch at home, so i crossed to the other gate to give her half of mine. I got caught by the head teach, slapped on the head and then excluded for 2 days again (cuz we're not allowed to communicate with the girls??).

I always talk about how the Middle East is rather stereotyped to extreme by the west, but the more I think about sh*t I've gone though the more i start to see why we're getting all of this sh*t.

parzoval-down50

Wait, Are 'Penis Inspections' A Thing?

Coffee in middle school.

It all started with this one kid, I'll call her Becky. Her mom drove her to school every day, and her mom bought her Starbucks. She'd share it with her friends, giving the sips. It was one of those real sugary specialty drinks that masked most of the coffee flavor.

Becky and her friends were pretty popular, and as they went so did the school. It became a hip thing to come to school with a coffee. Didn't matter if it was Starbucks, Tim's, Dunkin or even McDonalds, if you had coffee when you walked into school you were cool. It was actually pretty funny seeing kids trying to swig down bitter coffee to fit in.

When it really caught on though, the administration noticed. Concerned about the health problems, and someone potentially getting burned coffee became banned.

The thing was, at this point everyone was addicted. Kids were sluggish, getting caffeine withdrawal headaches and becoming miserable.

I was in a unique position of being the only student on the school web page club with a first period study hall. I would pop my head into homeroom, say "I'm here." then head to the club room to update the webpage/watch launchcast video on an unblocked computer. The club room was basically a few computers in a room connected to the east wing teachers lounge. Nobody used that lounge though, as the west wing was only like 3 years old and had a brand new lounge with new furniture and a TV.

Anyways, all that is to set the background for the suspension. The old teachers lounge had a coffee vending machine in it. 50 cents for what I now realize was crappy instant coffee. I saw my opportunity. I'd have my friends give me a dollar and their order. I'd sneak into the lounge, get them a cup, and once they got a bathroom pass, they'd swing by and pick up their coffee. We were smart and used cans from the juice vending machine (soda had been banned, but we had a Minute Maid machine).

Like Icarius though, I got too bold. I would go to second period with my can of coffee. The jig was up when my arm got bumped and I spilled hot coffee all over my crotch. I held my tongue from screaming and was wearing camo cargos, so that teacher didn't know, but 3rd period was gym, and it was penis inspection day, so coach noticed the redness. I failed penis inspection for the 3rd time that year and got suspended for a week.

PenisInspectionLiar