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Parents Share The Most Ridiculous And Obvious Lies Their Children Ever Told Them

Parents Share The Most Ridiculous And Obvious Lies Their Children Ever Told Them

Parents Share The Most Ridiculous And Obvious Lies Their Children Ever Told Them

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_Children are smarter and shiftier than we think they are. They have mouths and minds that can leave you floored. They are in tune but also plotting and they are watching... EVERY. MOVE. WE MAKE. Be careful of what you say and do! For real. _

Redditor **maxxxl **_asked parents of Reddit _Parents of Reddit, what was the best lie that your child has told you, that you knew was a lie, but wanted to see how big of a hole they would put themselves in? **The answers? Insightful to say the least.


I opened the kitchen trash can to find a perfectly functional stapler sitting at the top. Turned to my family in surprise and asked who put it there.

5 year old: It wasn't me. Husband: I didn't do it.

So, we all turn to look at my 3 year old daughter, the only remaining suspect.

3 year old: [after long pause] It was you. I saw you.


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We purchased a used Nintendo DS from eBay and it had a bunch of games with it, a number of them were duplicates. A friend of the family has two children and we promised to bring the games for them next time we came over if they behaved well enough by then and their mother approved.

A few weeks had passed and we hadn't managed to head over to their house yet. Right after we finally set up a playdate, my wife received a text message from the mothers phone, asking us to bring the DS games with us. There were some spelling mistakes and inconsistencies with the text and my wife asked who is this.

The response back? Their eight year old had snuck his moms phone to get us to bring the games and didn't think to respond with his mothers name.


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When I was little and I wanted to stay home from school I would act sick. Rubbed my forehead before my mom checked it. You know, classic kid. One time, to lay it on extra thick, I added that I have a headache as well. So she, probably not buying it but playing along, offers me a baby aspirin. So, before I take it, totally freaking out about the dangers of medicine due to a crude TV show-derived understanding of overdosing, I ask her, in my most nonchalant way, "Will people who don't have a headache get sick if they take this?"


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When I was 4 (1955) I was at a kindergarten concert. We all dressed as little flowers. Looked so cute. I just had to stand about looking cute. Some of the better behaved children got a bigger role and had to say and do things. The teachers put chalk marks on the stage floor so these wonderfully well behaved children knew where to stand.

I was bored out of my mind, although I might have looked cute with my daffodil crepe paper headdress. I wasn't a naturally cute child. So I slowly and casually moved around the stage from chalk mark to chalk mark rubbing them out with the toe of my dap while still looking cute.It was mayhem with kids running around looking for their mark. My mother told me she watched me doing it and knew exactly what I was up to. Said it was one of the best school concerts she'd been to.

When the teacher approached us after the show and asked what I'd been doing my mother said 'she had a really bad itch on her toe and didn't want to take her dap off to scratch it, so tried to rub it on the floor for some relief'. My mother is dead now but she was a real trooper and often came through for me when I messed up. My children and grandchildren are all well behaved, not a spark of rebellion in any of them. Nice people but, a bit boring sometimes.


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Found a scratch down the side of our (relatively new) van. We had been having vandals in the neighborhood, so we thought someone had keyed it. We then explained what 'getting keyed' was to our 6-year old.

After he said, "or it could have been from a bike handle!"


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Just walking past my four year old son, who was quietly playing by himself.

He looks up at me and smiles, "Nothing's wrong."


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He's only two, so he hasn't told any big ones yet. But if I ask him if he did something and he wants to avoid answering, he says "I'm sick" and goes and lays down.


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3 year old was sat on front of the tv watching cartoons. I went up to put some laundry away and when I came back down he had no pants or trousers on. There was a little puddle of urine on the floor behind him and his underwear and trousers were on the floor on front of the washing machine.

I asked him who had urinated on the floor. He replied 'it was daddy'.

When I said that daddy was at work, he told me that daddy had 'came home, wee'd on the floor and then left again'.

'In the few minutes that I've been upstairs?'

*shaking his head and rolling his eyes in disapproval.



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Not my kid, but my little sister. When she was in maybe first grade our mom got a call from the school requesting a meeting. She shows up and the teacher says "I just wanted you to see this in person". And with a look of disgust slaps down a piece of paper in front of her. In my sister's first grade hand writing was a note that read: please excuse sister von Manfred from doing her homework. I was too stupid to help her. Signed, mom.


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Me: your room is a mess! You are gonna have to clean it tomorrow.

_4yr old: yeah, I don't know what happened. _

Me: I know what happened, you didn't put your toys back and messed up your room.

4yr old (completely deadpan): there was a stranger in your house.


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When my son was about 4, I spent a few weeks with him and his sister at a summer camp. We lived on the first floor of a dorm while we were there. in his little mind, everyone else who lived there had better food than I was serving - to be fair, it's hard to cook a good dinner for 3 in a dorm room. Anyway, I fed the kids and was preparing to leave for the evening, and lo and behold, my son was gone. I went up and down all the halls, asking everyone where he was. I finally found him on the fourth floor, happily eating dinner with another family. They said he told them I had already left, and did not give him dinner before I "left". He had evidently gone from room to room, checking out what everyone was having, and then lying his way into the best of the lot.


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I was making dinner and my 3 year old let out a blood curdling scream, so I ran to the den where him and my 5 year old daughter were playing. He's holding his leg so I pry his little fingers off and there's a fresh set of teeth marks. I look at my daughter and ask what happened. Straight face, calm voice "I was just laying here and bubba's leg FELL into my open mouth, then he started crying". I act shocked and tell her she must have "rock teeth" and we better get her to the dentist right after dinner. Her eyes got huge, then I got the boy an ice pack and went on making dinner. We finish eating I tell her to grab her shoes and I get my keys. It was about 2 seconds after I started the car when I got the truth, he wouldn't give her the remote and started to run away she tripped him and bit his leg. She got grounded from tv for a weekend.


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When I was 7.... back when answering machines existed....

My mom called and i didn't feel like talking so I picked up the phone and said "hello, please leave your message at the beep. BEEP!"

I was totally convinced this would fool her.


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_It wasn't my child but, when my brother was about 6 he answered the home phone (Back when there were still cords and before cell phones). My aunt was there inner calling and asked him, "Can I speak to your dad?" He smirked and deepened his voice to say, "This is my dad." He thought he was being so sly. It's still a family home thing today, and he's 30 now. _


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I just told my husband the thread I was reading and his story is when he was a young kid on Christmas night he would take all the presents "Santa" brought him and put them in bed with him. When his parents got up and asked him about it he would reply "Santa put them there". They couldn't fess up without admitting Santa wasn't real to him and his two sisters.


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I have two kids and neither of them have gotten themselves so cold busted as I did when I was seven: my mom would always be yelling at me for dilly dallying and coming close to missing my bus, which picked me up right out at the end of my driveway. Well, one day my mom was doing her normal yelling and trying to get me to hurry. I finally went outside and the bus never came so I figured I missed it and my mom would be super mad. So I told her I saw it at the end of the driveway and ran towards it screaming for it to wait but it just drove off. So my mom was really mad and drove me to school, only to realize when we got there that it was a school holiday!


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My 4 year old told me "Daddy let me explain it to you. I have Cheetah in my DNA" when I asked why she was purring. She ran with the lie for weeks until we told her Cheetahs can't eat ice cream or chocolate, she confessed to lying and how she would never lie again because it's too stressful.

TIL: there are people who identify as Cheetah.


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When my son was 6 he came home from school with a tear in his new pants. I asked him what happened and he said he fell in the playground and ripped them. I said, oh no how is your knee? He said, it was sore but the bruise went away. He was actually limping a little too. So I responded, gee it looks to me like your pants were cut with a pair scissors. He looked at me completely confused and said, how did YOU know?

Wild guess, not to mention it was a nice clean slice. Tried really hard not to laugh.


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We were toilet training and my 3 year old boy had accidentally wet the bed. He was clearly upset about it so I decided to give him an out.

Me: Oh no! Did I do wee in the bed?!

He jumped at the chance to blame me.

Kid: Yeah, it was you. You did wee in my pants.. :/


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My son was about seven. After finally getting his attention I asked "Didn't you hear me calling you?"

He said "Not the first two times."

People Reveal The Weirdest Thing About Themselves

Reddit user Isitjustmedownhere asked: 'Give an example; how weird are you really?'

Let's get one thing straight: no one is normal. We're all weird in our own ways, and that is actually normal.

Of course, that doesn't mean we don't all have that one strange trait or quirk that outweighs all the other weirdness we possess.

For me, it's the fact that I'm almost 30 years old, and I still have an imaginary friend. Her name is Sarah, she has red hair and green eyes, and I strongly believe that, since I lived in India when I created her and there were no actual people with red hair around, she was based on Daphne Blake from Scooby-Doo.

I also didn't know the name Sarah when I created her, so that came later. I know she's not really there, hence the term 'imaginary friend,' but she's kind of always been around. We all have conversations in our heads; mine are with Sarah. She keeps me on task and efficient.

My mom thinks I'm crazy that I still have an imaginary friend, and writing about her like this makes me think I may actually be crazy, but I don't mind. As I said, we're all weird, and we all have that one trait that outweighs all the other weirdness.

Redditors know this all too well and are eager to share their weird traits.

It all started when Redditor Isitjustmedownhere asked:

"Give an example; how weird are you really?"

Monsters Under My Bed

"My bed doesn't touch any wall."

"Edit: I guess i should clarify im not rich."

– Practical_Eye_3600

"Gosh the monsters can get you from any angle then."

– bikergirlr7

"At first I thought this was a flex on how big your bedroom is, but then I realized you're just a psycho 😁"

– zenOFiniquity8

Can You See Why?

"I bought one of those super-powerful fans to dry a basement carpet. Afterwards, I realized that it can point straight up and that it would be amazing to use on myself post-shower. Now I squeegee my body with my hands, step out of the shower and get blasted by a wide jet of room-temp air. I barely use my towel at all. Wife thinks I'm weird."

– KingBooRadley


"In 1990 when I was 8 years old and bored on a field trip, I saw a black Oldsmobile Cutlass driving down the street on a hot day to where you could see that mirage like distortion from the heat on the road. I took a “snapshot” by blinking my eyes and told myself “I wonder how long I can remember this image” ….well."

– AquamarineCheetah

"Even before smartphones, I always take "snapshots" by blinking my eyes hoping I'll remember every detail so I can draw it when I get home. Unfortunately, I may have taken so much snapshots that I can no longer remember every detail I want to draw."

"Makes me think my "memory is full.""

– Reasonable-Pirate902

Same, Same

"I have eaten the same lunch every day for the past 4 years and I'm not bored yet."

– OhhGoood

"How f**king big was this lunch when you started?"

– notmyrealnam3

Not Sure Who Was Weirder

"Had a line cook that worked for us for 6 months never said much. My sous chef once told him with no context, "Baw wit da baw daw bang daw bang diggy diggy." The guy smiled, left, and never came back."

– Frostygrunt


"I pace around my house for hours listening to music imagining that I have done all the things I simply lack the brain capacity to do, or in some really bizarre scenarios, I can really get immersed in these imaginations sometimes I don't know if this is some form of schizophrenia or what."

– RandomSharinganUser

"I do the same exact thing, sometimes for hours. When I was young it would be a ridiculous amount of time and many years later it’s sort of trickled off into almost nothing (almost). It’s weird but I just thought it’s how my brain processes sh*t."

– Kolkeia

If Only

"Even as an adult I still think that if you are in a car that goes over a cliff; and right as you are about to hit the ground if you jump up you can avoid the damage and will land safely. I know I'm wrong. You shut up. I'm not crying."

– ShotCompetition2593

Pet Food

"As a kid I would snack on my dog's Milkbones."

– drummerskillit

"Haha, I have a clear memory of myself doing this as well. I was around 3 y/o. Needless to say no one was supervising me."

– Isitjustmedownhere

"When I was younger, one of my responsibilities was to feed the pet fish every day. Instead, I would hide under the futon in the spare bedroom and eat the fish food."

– -GateKeep-

My Favorite Subject

"I'm autistic and have always had a thing for insects. My neurotypical best friend and I used to hang out at this local bar to talk to girls, back in the late 90s. One time he claimed that my tendency to circle conversations back to insects was hurting my game. The next time we went to that bar (with a few other friends), he turned and said sternly "No talking about bugs. Or space, or statistics or other bullsh*t but mainly no bugs." I felt like he was losing his mind over nothing."

"It was summer, the bar had its windows open. Our group hit it off with a group of young ladies, We were all chatting and having a good time. I was talking to one of these girls, my buddy was behind her facing away from me talking to a few other people."

"A cloudless sulphur flies in and lands on little thing that holds coasters."

"Cue Jordan Peele sweating gif."

"The girl notices my tension, and asks if I am looking at the leaf. "Actually, that's a lepidoptera called..." I looked at the back of my friend's head, he wasn't looking, "I mean a butterfly..." I poked it and it spread its wings the girl says "oh that's a BUG?!" and I still remember my friend turning around slowly to look at me with chastisement. The ONE thing he told me not to do."

"I was 21, and was completely not aware that I already had a rep for being an oddball. It got worse from there."

– Phormicidae

*Teeth Chatter*

"I bite ice cream sometimes."


"That's how I am with popsicles. My wife shudders every single time."


Never Speak Of This

"I put ice in my milk."


"You should keep that kind of thing to yourself. Even when asked."

– We-R-Doomed

"There's some disturbing sh*t in this thread, but this one takes the cake."

– RatonaMuffin

More Than Super Hearing

"I can hear the television while it's on mute."

– Tira13e

"What does it say to you, child?"

– Mama_Skip


"I put mustard on my omelettes."

– Deleted User


– NotCrustOr-filling

Evened Up

"Whenever I say a word and feel like I used a half of my mouth more than the other half, I have to even it out by saying the word again using the other half of my mouth more. If I don't do it correctly, that can go on forever until I feel it's ok."

"I do it silently so I don't creep people out."

– LesPaltaX

"That sounds like a symptom of OCD (I have it myself). Some people with OCD feel like certain actions have to be balanced (like counting or making sure physical movements are even). You should find a therapist who specializes in OCD, because they can help you."

– MoonlightKayla

I totally have the same need for things to be balanced! Guess I'm weird and a little OCD!

Close up face of a woman in bed, staring into the camera
Photo by Jen Theodore

Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.

Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?

But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.

It would be so great to be sure there is something else.

But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.

Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:

"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"


Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy

"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."



"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."

"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."

"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."


Take Me Back

"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."

"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."



The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy

"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."


This is why I hate surgery.

You just never know.



"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."



"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."

"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”



"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"


"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"


The Fog

"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."

"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."


Through the Walls

"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."

"She's quite alive and well today."


Well let's all be happy to be alive.

It seems to be all we have.

Man's waist line
Santhosh Vaithiyanathan/Unsplash

Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.

The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.

Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.

Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:

"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"

Redditors didn't see these coming.

Shiver Me Timbers

"I’m always cold now!"

– Telrom_1

"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."

– r7ndom

"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."

– mr_remy

Drawing Concern

"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."

– dee-fondy

"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"

"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."

– LizardofDeath

Unleashing Insults

"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”

"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."

– alanamablamaspama

Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight

"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."

– KeltarCentauri

"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."

– KatMagic1977

"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."

– Jaew96

These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.


"I can buy clothes in any store I want."

– WaySavvyD

"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."

– ganache98012

No More Symptoms

"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."

– colleennicole93

Expanding Capabilities

"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."

– Ramblonius

People Change Their Tune

"How much nicer people are to you."

"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"

– LiZZygsu

"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"

"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"

– awholedamngarden

It's gonna take some getting used to.

Bones Everywhere

"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."

– Princess-Pancake-97

"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."

– bekastrange

Knee Pillow

"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."

– snic2030

"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."

– Strongbad23

More Mobility

"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."

"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."

– dma1965

People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.

But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.

That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.