Marriage is hard, but that doesn't mean it can't be successful.
According to Ryan Stephens, a self described husband, father, and strategist, he and his wife "have found that focusing more on being teammates and less on being soulmates is a solid recipe for marital success."
My wife and I have found that focusing more on being teammates and less on being soulmates is a solid recipe for ma… https://t.co/H3wkndoYQn— Ryan Stephens 🥃 (@Ryan Stephens 🥃)1551838264.0
That sounds like it shouldn't need to be said, right? Perhaps. But marriage is a huge life change for many people, so reading this might benefit many of you who'd like to get off on the right foot.
Lesson #1: Learn how to keep your mouth shut.
1.) No one should ever hear anything bad about your spouse from you. It's one thing to joke with friends about so… https://t.co/4kA0ucjdKA— Ryan Stephens 🥃 (@Ryan Stephens 🥃)1551838264.0
Lesson #2: Communication is everything.
2.) Over communicate. You cannot read each other’s minds. Never assume the other person knows what you meant.… https://t.co/pFMHGpYZ9U— Ryan Stephens 🥃 (@Ryan Stephens 🥃)1551838264.0
Lesson #3: New things are the key, man.
3.) Try new things together. Even if one of you is typically more adventurous than the other, have fun with it.… https://t.co/0zTCBrzzvC— Ryan Stephens 🥃 (@Ryan Stephens 🥃)1551838265.0
Lesson #4: Be a cheerleader.
4.) Be each other’s champion. Celebrate wins and encourage each other. Bring home champagne after a promotion at w… https://t.co/nl1Tn4YniN— Ryan Stephens 🥃 (@Ryan Stephens 🥃)1551838265.0
Lesson #5: Gratitude, gratitude, gratitude...
5.) Be grateful for each other’s contributions. Whether it be money, time, chores, childcare, or anything else, no… https://t.co/VJjhFa1Fxj— Ryan Stephens 🥃 (@Ryan Stephens 🥃)1551838265.0
Lesson #6: Remember the golden rule.
6. Trust and respect each other. Especially in front of others, including your children. If you do not respect y… https://t.co/PCiAdSL8nO— Ryan Stephens 🥃 (@Ryan Stephens 🥃)1551838265.0
Ryan also linked to a blog post by his wife, Alaina, who explained how she knew she and her husband were "teammates from the beginning":
While planning our wedding, Ryan and I both wrote a short blurb about our families to be read during our reception.
I penned the following: "Alaina says her dad is her hero, her mom is her best friend and her brother is her other half."
Ryan's snarky response began with: "Uh huh… and where does that leave me?" (We too, had already covered that I don't believe in soulmates.)
I backtracked quickly… "you're my partner… my teammate."
Looking back at this scenario, I stumbled a bit for the right term.
Now, nearly 6 years later I realize that, perhaps accidentally, I hit the nail on the head.
This mentality is why we are where we are, working together and living the dream. I say this because I truly believe that picking your partner for life is one of, if not the most, important choice you'll ever make.
He doesn't wash dishes or lock up the house at dark quite as quickly as I'd like him to.
And I don't get the mail or go through bills quite as quickly as he'd like me to. (Note: our mailman literally drops our mail INTO our house through a slot near our front door.)
Don't even get me started on either one of us trying to give directions while the other is driving.
We work despite these things.
We work because we are each other's lifelong teammate.
Marriage, or any long-term relationship, is not *all* about love & romance. It’s about working at it day in and d… https://t.co/u3dLrYmakR— Ryan Stephens 🥃 (@Ryan Stephens 🥃)1551838265.0
These rules are simple. They're concise. And they appear to have hit the nail on the head for many people.
TEAMMATES. YES https://t.co/BjkD0nDF2W— Hank Voight (@Hank Voight)1551874342.0
You need to read this: Married or Single https://t.co/tFlUsqy0Av— _maryb (@_maryb)1551892049.0
@ryanstephens I love all this pointers, So true I can attest to this in my marriage. It’s so important to over comm… https://t.co/2af2yhWSFu— Amina Means (@Amina Means)1551892364.0
@ryanstephens @ajeromorgan 4/6. I'm doing good but I can do better. Thanks for sharing.— Akukalia👑 (@Akukalia👑)1551891192.0
@ryanstephens Thanks for sharing this warm reminder that is very dear to my heart. You are loved by those who follo… https://t.co/Xvfky0XWs5— Ike (@Ike)1551892052.0
Let's be clear for a moment, though: Marriage isn't for everyone. Some of you love the idea of long term relationships... just not necessarily marriage. That's okay. Thankfully these rules are universal. Seize the day, everyone.