Being in a relationship means opening your heart up to someone.
Now, depending on where you're at in your relationship decides how open the heart is. Couples in the beginning probably keep things close to the chest, playing it safe, not revealing too much just in case the new love goes sour. Why tell someone your darkest secrets if the fling only lasts 10 days? However, couples who have been together for a long time know quite a bit more. And sometimes what they know would be a dealbreaker for someone else.
Reddit user, u/Caspar-the-ghost, wanted to know:
An Enthusiasm For EverythingGiphy
He talks a lot. He rambles about everything possible, from the origin of salty licorice to why there are so many irregular verbs in French to his old work experiences to the most minute historical or mythological facts. Sometimes he'll laugh when I'm working, I'll go "hm?", and he'll talk for five minutes straight about some obscure fact he just learned.
I love his enthusiasm. :) I genuinely like his little rants as signs of his boundless intellectual curiosity-- I always learn something, and we'll never run out of things to talk about. And besides, I talk a lot too, so we're well matched!
Understanding The Past To Have A Better Future
Talking about his exes. From what I know, people aren't really a fan of their SO talking about their exes. I'm perfectly fine with mine talking about his often because I just want to understand more about his prior experiences just so I can keep in mind what not to do, as well as let him get his feelings out because of how much its impacted him.
Just Tell me Where You Want To Go To Dinner!
He won't say no! If he doesn't want to do something or go somewhere he will beat around the bush. It is fun to act like I can't tell the he's implying no, until he finally says it.
But You're Still Together, Right?
She will leave a dirty plate on the counter top above the empty dishwasher rather than rinsing and filing it INSIDE the dishwasher.
Drives me nuts
We Can't Always Order Out
She doesn't cook.
Doesn't bother me since I love cooking and worked in catering for many years... But might be a deal breaker for some
Imitation Is The Sincerest Form Of Flattery? Right?
Honestly I think my boyfriend is pretty accepting about my god awful snoring. I've never thought to record it but the impressions he does are... not flattering.
No Time Apart. And It's Okay.
Both of us prefer to spend all of our time together. It's not a codependent/dysfunctional thing because neither of us gets upset or stressed out if we can't, but we're happiest in each other's company and, given a choice, we'd always choose to be together. The whole pandemic situation hasn't been a problem for us because it's actually allowed us to be together more as is our preference. However, I understand this doesn't work for most people, but it's always worked for us.
Marry Him. Marry Him Now.
He wore a fedora in one of his senior high school photos
more like a deal maker wtf
Time To ThinkGiphy
With my man, he needs time to think about serious subjects or even minor decisions sometimes, so you can't expect him to give an answer right away. It can be really frustrating, especially when you kind of need an answer right away.
I've come to think of it as him being very invested in even the little things in our lives because he cares so much. Because this is how his brain works, I try to give him lead time or if a decision needs to be made right away, I offer to be the one to make the call, which takes it off his plate all together.
He accommodates my anxieties and quirks, so it's definitely not a one way street.
When You Really Can't Blame The Person
My wife grew up in a hoarder home. Not the level you see on TV but close. So she is basically use to living in a house that isn't organized and she never really learned to clean up after herself.
Every now and than I get irritated but in our 5 years of marriage she has changed me to be a better person so significantly that i can live with it. For every flaw she has ten positives and I love her
You're Essentially His "Find Me" App
Almost every morning I have to find his keys for him despite there being a BASKET in the KITCHEN for KEYS and stuff. They're never in the basket.
Forgets to take his meds too, which increases his spacey-ness (antiepileptics). I got him one of those plastic pill organizers...but half the time he takes the pills from the bottles instead and then forgets he took them so we never know if he actually took them or not unless I count the remaining pills.
Leaves dishes/food wherever once he's done with them (yes, cooking/dishes is my job but STILL), which means we have to replace perishable items like mayo or milk constantly because he'll leave them out all day/night and if I'm not home to put them away, they've gone bad.
I swear he uses up all of his focus at work, because he's a very skilled nurse...but the second he gets home it's as if his mind has run out of battery!
Still love this guy though
Much Different Story 20 Years Ago
Not necessarily a flaw, but when my ex and I first started out, he said "before we continue there's something I have to tell you." I was bracing myself for the worst, something like he had AIDS or I don't know what. He said "sometimes I like to wear skirts."
"...is that all? That's fine!" And we had years of fun times with him wearing skirts a lot. (I am female.) Went to an exhibition in the Met (NYC) about men in skirts through history, wore them out in public sometimes, wore them as pajamas and around the house, we did kinky things with them, and eventually he had a closet full of his own skirts (some he got online but others I helped him with at places like Kohl's). It did not bother me in the slightest and frankly I found it amusing, almost endearing.
Note that this was nearly 20 years ago so society wasn't as warmed up to the idea of gender fluidity, though it was in the making. In related news, after we broke up, he ghosted me and last I heard he is becoming a she. Which pisses me off because I could've totally been there to support and help with the transition. Wherever you are, I truly hope you are happier!
The Definition Of True Love
They don't fully close the tops on jars
How do you tolerate this madness[?]
Keeping Everything Close To The Chest
His intense secrecy. He doesn't even keep things secret on purpose, he just doesn't mention things as a default and the result is very, very weird. His whole family is like this, freakishly unwilling to talk about themselves. He is so secretive that I found out after seven years together that he has two brothers, not one. Nothing scandalous or anything at all, they talk on the phone once every few months (!!!) and when I emailed his brother he wrote back right away to say hi, seems like a nice normal dude.
But I guess since he lives in New Zealand he doesn't come to family gatherings so I haven't met him. This is par for the course.
I found out about a grad degree when we ran into one of his profs at a burrito place.When I asked why he never mentioned his brother, he just said that he would have if I asked. I don't know that "how many brothers do you have" is a question you should have to ask?!? But apparently...
We're Victims To Our Parents' Legacies
When she gets stressed she screams. It is horrible. I learned how her mother treated her and understand it a lot more. She already been to therapy once she realized how much it troubles me. That says a lot about her character. She saw a problem and is working on it. Now when she gets stressed and raises her voice, she knows I will just leave the house. I mean no disrespect, just leaving until she calms down.
The Most Intimate And The Most VulnerableGiphy
She's not very good at sex. I love her and marriage isn't all about sex. She had an eating disorder (bulimia) most of her life and just kinda freezes up when we are intimate. We have three GORGEOUS and healthy kids after losing four and wondering if we would ever have any. We have a good life. Just not good sex.
You and my husband are in the same boat. We have been married 6.5 years, have two healthy kids, have lost two, and are currently incubating one.
I am NOT good at sex. We have fought, cried, and struggled to develop a healthy sex life. Its not easy, we have a long way to go, but we haven't given up.
Ultimately, we both recognize the need for a healthy sex life and we work really hard to help each other out. I hope someday it becomes more natural for me, but until then, my husband is a trooper!
Hoping the same for the two of you!
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