Clingy Boyfriend Can't Handle GF's Busy Law School Schedule, And She's Not Sure What To Do
If you or anyone you know has ever gone to law school, you understand that person essentially disappears for a few years. The work load is insanely heavy and difficult, the classes are next to impossible, and socializing becomes a strategic career move. One Reddit user's already clingy boyfriend isn't adjusting well to the change at all and she isn't sure how to help him - or if she even should.
Here's her initial post ... as she warns you, it's a long one:
I'm gonna preface that I am a mix of exhausted, stressed out and generally overwhelmed. It's gonna be lengthy.
I've [22F] have been with my BF [21M] for over two and half years and for the most part the relationship has been rather low turbulence in comparison to my prior relationships. We met in my sophomore year of college and his freshman year when I was only a few months off a break up. I initially wanted nothing to do with him and was not willing to date what so ever. My breakup had been truly awful and I was just really starting to get on my feet. He persisted for about a month before I agreed to go on a break up.
For the majority of our relationship, he's been incredibly doting and supportive. But I would be lying to say if that doting didn't spiral into obsessiveness and clinginess. The majority of our fights have been over the fact that I need space, as I'm a fairly independent person. I didn't want to be together 24/7 and he really struggled with that once the honey moon phase was over. But eventually, he seemed to get better about it and it was tolerable.
As we've dated, I discovered that while he has a generous and kind heart, he can be incredibly immature. He can't manage to show up in a timely fashion for anything, can't keep a part time job and whines the moment he isn't entertained (i'm sure this is part of the current problem) for example. Just lots of little immature and generally exhausting things to deal with. Once again, he's made progress in the past that it reach a tolerable level.
He is also whole heartedly way too reliant on me. Stupid shit like "Should I go grocery shopping right now or go to the gym?" And i'm like, "Why does my opinion matter? This isn't something I should have an opinion in." Because it's really not. What would happen whenever I refused to answer is he just wouldn't do either option and just lay around all day. It's ridiculous, annoying and has been a constant problem in our relationship.
I will lend that the majority of my friends and family love him. He's super easy to get along with, is always willing to jump in and help, and fits in really well with my crowd. The general consensus is that he comes off a bit immature but he's always friendly and kind. My mom in particular is really fond of him, which makes this whole mess a bit frustrating.
Right now, I'm two weeks into Law School and the relationship seems to be self combusting.
I've been wanting to go to Law School for the past two years and I've been incredibly vocal and driven about this. It's non-negiotable to me that i'm going and that this is a priority to me. He has always been incredibly supportive and very, "Whatever you need just let me know." Sounds great, right? I had zero idea that this was going to be such an insane and rocky start.
I spend probably 6-8 hours a day just studying, reading and doing school related things where I am not checking my phone or social media. I just don't have time, brain cells or energy for it. When I go to school, I disable the wifi on my laptop and turn my phone off so that I can try to focus. I absolutely let him know that I was becoming less and less available out of sheer survival. I'm trying to make myself a future, I really am. Well this is absolutely not going well on his end. In a 36 hour period, he texted me "What are you doing" 17 times. 17 bloody times. I was texting him plenty in those 36 hours, but for example I would turn off my phone for class from 8-12. When I would get back, I would have 3-5 messages of "Hey, what are you doing?" half hour chunk of time, "What r u up to?" and so forth. I ended up face timing him and was like this is unreasonable, unhealthy and needs to stop immediately. He seemed to hear it but a few days later, he's back at texting me several times a day to ask what i'm doing.
Don't get me wrong - I get that I'm the one who change here.
I went from being available almost all the time, to basically not available at all. I get it. It sucks, i'm aware. I'm also changing as a person because I have to be more responsible, more mature and more scheduled then ever before. But i'm also being very very forthcoming about the fact that this is what I need to do to survive law school. I'm only a few weeks in and this is really hard and taking some adjusting. Every day I get a better handle on things, but i'm still adjusting to the learning curve of just the giant work load. I physically and mentally can't be more available to him then I am at this moment.
Plus, I just don't want to be.
Every time i've talked to him in the last 10 days we've gotten into a fight. Everything from a full blown fight to passive aggressive squabbles. It's reached the point that the moment he starts being passive aggressive, I just say I have to go and hang up. I'm so brain dead that staring at a wall and doing nothing is actually relieving, I don't have the energy to constantly fight with him and deal with passive aggressive comments. He's like, "Why don't you FaceTime me more often?" Because every time we talk, we fight or you harass me about when is the next time we are going to see each other. On that note, he is not in class this past week and wanted to know if he could come up and stay in my new apartment for my first week of law school. I said heck no. I genuinely am gone all day, i'm exhausted and I need to be making friends with my colleagues and adjusting to my new city and life.
This didn't settle well and he's asked probably every other time we've talked about when he can come visit. I genuinely can't even gather the free brain cells to think about what to have for dinner, let alone when I can squeeze in time for a visitor and the amount of pre-work I would have to do.
I guess what i'm failing to get at, is i'm trying to decide how long I should give him to adjust before I call it. Our relationship has problems naturally. I don't enjoy who I am around any more because the little things of his personality really get under my skin and it just makes me cranky. This is just becoming more and more irritated by law school and he's sorta combusting.
If you read this entire thing, thank you and you are wonderful person.
tl:dr I went off to law school and became rather unavailable every day. Boyfriend, who was already clingy, is self combusting and picking fights.
Reddit was ready with some hard truth. (Some comments have been edited for clarity.)
Reflection On You
I am currently a 3L and I just have one more thing to add. If you choose to continue dating your boyfriend, be cognizant that, should you work at a firm your 2L summer, he will likely be invited to events with you. If he behaves immaturely, shows up late, etc., these things will all reflect on you.
Just food for thought. I had this specific realization this past summer - I deeply appreciated my current boyfriend for being someone I could be proud of, and realized my exes would not have fit that bill.
This Is About You And You Alone
Law school is not easy-congrats on making it there! His lack of adjustment is not your problem to fix. Prioritize yourself and protect the time you need to do well in your classes.
I dealt with a similar dynamic with my husband when I started medical school. Ultimately, I just shared my calendar with him, including all my classes, skills labs, research team meetings, and independent study sessions. Once he realized how busy I actually was, things changed drastically and he began taking care of himself and helping me out more. However, if you have any shred of doubt that your partner will do the same, it's time to move on. Graduate school is no time for manchildren- this is about you and you alone achieving your dreams.
Relationships Generally Don't Survive Law School
Just call it now. I went to law school. Literally every single couple (that wasn't already married) broke up the first year except 1 and they had been together 7 years already. Even a few married people got divorced. Relationships do not generally survive the first year of law school, and all signs point to this one being on its way out the door anyways. Sucks, but it's going to suck more later.
Rip Off That Band-Aid
As someone who went to law school and let it drag on too long with my college boyfriend before ending things, rip off that band-aid now. First year is by far the hardest year of your law education and you're doing the right thing by dedicating yourself to your studies. Your grades are so important that year and will follow you when you start applying for clerkships and jobs. You're not in the wrong here, but neither is your boyfriend. I'm sure this change is super hard on him, and the break up will be hard too.
Just keep in mind, you can't provide him with what he needs now. You can't be a great partner. Right now. The spouses and partners of my friends in law school actually had a weekly "support group" because they were so ignored the first year (by support group, it was a weekly session of drinking wine and hanging out. I'm sure lots of venting went on too.) It's ok to end things and focus on your work. This doesn't make you a bad person. You sound like my college boyfriend and me, which is you've outgrown each other. There's nothing wrong with that.
Update: Pulled The Plug
Hey everyone,
I decided to take a week to let things settle in even further. I made it explicitly clear that his behavior wasn't ok and we needed a change if this relationship was going to survive. Verbally he was on board, but after 24 hours it really fell apart.
Tonight, I pulled the plug. It was hard, and awful because I do love him and I will always love him but we are no longer in love. He asked me what I wanted, and I said I wanted him to be ok with less communication and be confident in our relationship, so that I could be at school guilt free. I asked him what he wanted, and he said he wanted more of my time, communication and energy.
His wants had nothing to do with what was best for me, or would make me happiest.
That was really hard to hear and we both cried for a while when I pointed that out. He understood, he saw it coming and he didn't beg or fight it. We just cried.
So anyway, I wanted to say thank you to EVERYONE who reached out to me. Seriously, it made me feel like I was actually in control of the situation and not crazy for walking away. Thank you for being a community that validates others feelings and is honest and truthful.
Now, I'm gonna go shower and watch stupid shows on netflix.
TL:DR Broke up with my boyfriend when he couldn't adjust to the lack of free time I now had in law school.
Easier When You're Angry
It's hard because it's easier to break up with anger against the other person for being so unreasonable/immature/bad etc. Its harder when it's just a compatibility issue. But when you think about it...you started dating the person for a reason. While obviously lots of people get bamboozled by manipulative people, just as many people date and there's nothing more to it than it just doesn't work out. Not every break up needs to be because there is something wrong with one of the given parties.
Takes a lot of maturity to make that kind of honest change.
An Inspiration Not A Hypocrite
I didn't read the first post, so I initially commented calling the original poster a hypocrite. So many people pointed out things that I missed that proved how wrong I was. I'm going to highlight a few things from her previous post that further clarifies the situation:
He can't manage to show up in a timely fashion for anything, can't keep a part time job and whines the moment he isn't entertained
He is also whole heartedly way too reliant on me. Stupid shit like "Should I go grocery shopping right now or go to the gym?" And i'm like, "Why does my opinion matter? This isn't something I should have an opinion in." Because it's really not. What would happen whenever I refused to answer is he just wouldn't do either option and just lay around all day.
In a 36 hour period, he texted me "What are you doing" 17 times. 17 bloody times. I ended up face timing him and was like this is unreasonable, unhealthy and needs to stop immediately. He seemed to hear it but a few days later, he's back at texting me several times a day to ask what i'm doing.
Every time i've talked to him in the last 10 days we've gotten into a fight. Everything from a full blown fight to passive aggressive squabbles. It's reached the point that the moment he starts being passive aggressive, I just say I have to go and hang up. I'm so brain dead that staring at a wall and doing nothing is actually relieving, I don't have the energy to constantly fight with him and deal with passive aggressive comments. He's like, "Why don't you FaceTime me more often?" Because every time we talk, we fight or you harass me about when is the next time we are going to see each other.
wanted to know if he could come up and stay in my new apartment for my first week of law school. I said heck no. I genuinely am gone all day, i'm exhausted and I need to be making friends with my colleagues and adjusting to my new city and life. ... This didn't settle well and he's asked probably every other time we've talked about when he can come visit. I genuinely can't even gather the free brain cells to think about what to have for dinner, let alone when I can squeeze in time for a visitor and the amount of pre-work I would have to do.
With all of that in mind, OP absolutely did the right thing, and it couldn't have been any more timely.
The way I see it, he wasn't getting something he wanted from her, so he was resorting to passive-aggressive behavior in an attempt to shame her into sacrificing all of her independence, her ambition, and her attempts to make a life for herself in order to lavish him with as much attention as he wanted. No matter how you look at it, this is emotional manipulation, plain and simple. Either he is hopelessly naive or consciously malicious, because no one in their right mind would think that forcing the one you love to return from 8 long hours of non-stop studying to over a dozen texts asking where they've been is in any way benign, especially after it's been warned against in the past.
Even if you take the former optimistic answer that he's just an idiot, it is still completely and utterly unacceptable, and he has a lot of learning to do before he's ready for another relationship. But if you take the more cyncical latter answer, she didn't just escape an overly-attached boyfriend; she deftly evaded a malicious attempt to drag her into an endless cycle of abuse.
Either way, OP saw it for exactly what it was and she would not have any of it. She asserted her agency, and it shouldn't just be accepted, but celebrated.
Like, goddamn. If only more women (and men!) had her willpower and foresight. If more abusers were more conscious (or caring) of the pain they were inflicting upon the ones they supposedly loved. And if only we, us so-called "relationship experts", would do more to empower the victims of abuse, instead of criticizing them for not being "more understanding" or "more patient" for the benefit of their abusers.
Thank you to everyone who was willing to confront me with what I was doing. And to OP, I'm so sorry. You are not a hypocrite. You're an inspiration.
More Than Most Can Give
You did the right thing. Your ex texted you "what are you doing" 17 times in 36 hours and couldn't go grocery shopping without asking you first. He wasn't just asking for more communication on a reasonable level. He was asking for more than most people who aren't going to law school can give.
Never Going To Get Any Better
Coming from a lawyer, you did the right thing. The legal profession will demand just as much of your time as law school. So, this issue was never going to get any better. Best of luck!
Learning How To "Do" Law School
I'm a lawyer and lots of relationships don't survive law school. It is intense and demanding and it takes serious commitment and understanding from the non-law school partner to survive it. I always felt bad for my friends' spouses who would come out to dinner or drinks with a bunch of law students and we would talk about nothing but law school. It had to have been annoying and exhausting for them.
Take this time to be single and focus on school. Learning how to "do" law school is the hardest part of the first year - years 2 and 3 were much easier for me. Good luck!
H/T: Reddit
There is a world full of mysteries to explore right at our very feet.
Do we engage with it on a level that might make us more uncomfortable? Well, if we really want to learn everything there is to know about our planet earth, we have to engage in the unsettling facts. They appear across every discipline.
The Easier Way Out
<p>During the French Revolution, where the guillotine was introduced, the people to be executed fought to be first, as the blade would dull after multiple uses and wouldn't cut a head clean off at the first attempt.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Back2Bach/" target="_blank">Back2Bach</a></p><p>And the last execution by guillotine in France was the same year Star Wars came out.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/CaptainPrower/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">CaptainPrower</a></p>At LEAST One?!
<p>You have probably unknowingly encountered, or walked past at least one murderer in your lifetime.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/theprettyunicorn/" target="_blank">theprettyunicorn</a></p><p>For sure encountered. Worked night shift at a convenience store, guy pulled in to put gas came in the store used the atm and left. 3 min later swarm of cops surrounded the store. He had just murdered his family a couple states over and cops got a hit when he used the atm machine.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Cool1Mach/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Cool1Mach</a></p>WELP
<p>For a long time it was believed that babies were too underdeveloped to be able to feel pain, and as such, did not need anesthetic for any kind of surgeries.</p><p>Up into the 1980's.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/FartKilometre/" target="_blank">FartKilometre</a></p>Internet History
<p>Eventually, most of the content on the internet will have been created by dead people.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Phaesporic/" target="_blank">Phaesporic</a></p><p>Now I'm imagining a class like English literature but for internet culture and picturing a bored class with some kids sleeping while the teacher is saying some shit like "Okay class this meme is 100 years old and it says Me and the Boys going out to get some B E A N S what do the B E A N S symbolize and how does it reflect what was going on in society ? " lmao.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Cheshire_Cat8888/" target="_blank">Cheshire_Cat8888</a></p>Awful, Awful
<p>There are estimated to be at least 25 active serial killers in the United States alone at any given time. Very few will be detected, much less apprehended.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/brideofchuckydoll/" target="_blank">brideofchuckydoll</a></p><p>Derrick Todd Lee and Sean Vincent Gillis were both active serial killer in the same city from the late 90s to early 2000s. For most of this time, law enforcement did not realize they were trying to catch multiple individuals, much less that they were acting completely independently of each other. On top of that, there are additional unsolved murders that neither was ever linked to whose evidence raises the possibility of a third active serial killer in the area during the same time period.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/see-bees/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">see-bees</a></p>Viewer, Beware....
<p>National parks are not all swings and roundabouts. Over 1600 people have gone inside Yellowstone National Park and never come out.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/I_Am_A_Master-Baiter/" target="_blank">I_Am_A_Master-Baiter</a></p><p>Yellowstone is known for boiling water and pools of acid. People on this earth put gorrilla glue in their hair. I don't have any questions about what happened.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/MCqStep/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">MCqStep</a></p>Statistically....
<p>If you end up being the victim of a violent crime, you probably know the perpetrators. You probably trust them, most likely, you love them.</p><p><span data-verified="redactor" data-redactor-tag="span"></span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Double-Kicks/" target="_blank">Double-Kicks</a></p><p>People find it weird when the police declare most family members and close friends of murder victims to be suspects, but this is precisely why. You are FAR more likely to be (deliberately) killed by someone you know than a stranger. Also, in most countries and demographics, the most likely person to deliberately kill you is you.</p><p><span data-verified="redactor" data-redactor-tag="span"></span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/kutuup1989/" target="_blank">kutuup1989</a></p>Our Brains Are Unsettling, Too
<p>There is a rare genetic degenerative brain disorder called Fatal Familial Insomnia. FFI starts as a mild inability to sleep followed by short bouts of intense nightmares/dreams and progressively deteriorates until the sufferer is completely unable to sleep, at all. Eventually impacting the human ability to microsleep as a last ditch effort of self preservation. There is no cure for FFI and eventually sufferers lose their minds and die of sleep deprivation. But it gets so much worse.</p><p>Due to the degenerative nature of the condition as it progresses you begin deteriorating mentally and physically. You lose the ability to regulate body temperature and may swing between freezing and sweating, you develop severe memory problems, confusion, agitation, weight loss, paranoia, hallucinations, speech problems, double vision, loss of motor controls (similar to parkinsons), inability to swallow, increased blood pressure and production of tears as well as many other unpleasant symptoms. The combination of your mind going and your body shutting down eventually kills you.</p>Rise Of The Machines
<p>There so far at least two fatalities as a result of robots, both of industrial type.</p><p>The first was in Flat Rock, Michigan in 1979 when an engineer was killed when he was hit in the back and crushed while retrieving parts at an automobile factory. It was due to a malfunctioning industrial robot he was fixing. The second was in Akashi, Hyōgo, Japan where a maintenance worker was fixing a broken-down robot when it came to life by mistake. Both locations happened in factories that are well-known for manufacturing vehicles.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/MissSara101/" target="_blank">MissSara101</a></p>So Can We Fix The Justice System Now
<p>One to five percent of the US prison population is estimated to be innocent.</p><p>Combine that with the fact that one percent of the US population is incarcerated and your chance of being wrongly imprisoned in the 21st century is around 1 in 1000 in America.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Crocoshark/" target="_blank">Crocoshark</a></p>People Who Thoroughly Read The Terms And Conditions Share The Strangest Things They've Found
Let's be honest, most of us don't read the Terms and Conditions before we click that little "I Agree" button. Most of you probably aren't even going to read this intro.
A huge chunk of you are going to open this article and immediately scroll to "the meat" because we're all about getting to the good stuff. But that rush can sometimes mean missing out on some seriously important tidbits of info.
The Catch Was...
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTY4OTYxNy9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY0Mzg2NjM3N30.Zr6T7LGuuXaTr7NKBFfaCTwEc0Fvu3yJ-KdYO-Xk_No/img.gif?width=980" id="c41a3" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="f677f014d9104effd3b059212c9af24c" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="270" />Giphy<p>I financed some furniture when I was young and getting established in my first professional job. It was interest-free financing for the first 12 months. </p><p>The catch was that if you paid late, they would charge you a fee, back-interest from the beginning of the loan period, and you would lose the interest free status for the rest of the loan. The APR was 29.9%, compounded monthly! </p><p>I couldn't imagine getting to the 11th payment and having something go wrong so a payment is late, then pay basically double what I had financed on the furniture.</p><p>I paid it off in 6 months, and I never did in-store financing again.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnx5tr1?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">EngineeringQueen</a></p><p>This is most interest free gimmicks. Educate your friends. Usually the young ones fall victim to this.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gny23jj?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Chimmiii</a></p><p>I sold furniture and we had financing like this and I made sure to always tells my customers this so they couldn't come at me later on down the road. Others didn't and it just seemed so shady and f*cked up to me.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnxldnd?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Piccolo_known</a></p>Get It From The Next Owner
<p>I almost signed a contract that granted 50% of profits to the previous owner of the business for 3 years. It was a restaurant that used a conventional microwave instead of an actual oven.</p><p>This was back in the early 2000's and this place had a wonderful 50's vibe. From the bar, to the stools to booths - but it was empty because the food was SO bad and there was fast food up the road.</p><p>We were going to get a pizza oven in there and turn it into a Pizza/Shake place with soup in the winter. </p><p>When the law STUDENT we paid $500 to look over everything (DO THIS!) asked the seller about it for us, they said that they had sunk so much money into the business, the only way to make the money back was to get it from the next owner somehow.</p><p>Good luck with that.</p><p>We could not get them to remove that clause, the owner was hellbent on making the next person be the one to make the business successful and pay them.</p>18 Months
<p>A realtor once gave me a contract that said she would be the only person allowed to represent the property for 18 months.</p><p>That means that they were the only person that could try to sell the house. For <em>a year and a half</em>. We could not work with a different agent if we felt that this one wasn't doing enough, not responding, if we weren't happy, etc. </p><p>If we did, this agent would still get commission from the sale that that other agent actually made.</p><p>Nope. No way was I going to agree to being attached to someone for a year and a half like that. We found a different realtor with a 3 month term (which is much closer to standard), told the first one that her terms were ridiculous, and was under contract within 10 days.</p><p><span></span>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gny1hbr?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Tricky-Garden</a></p>Idol Entitlement
<p>Canadian Idol auditions when the first show was announced. Read the contract to the very end after signing it.</p><p>"you agree to being filmed 24/7. We can enter your room at any time and record personal phone calls and interactions with anyone." </p><p>That received a hard no for me. Ripped up the contract and never looked back. Thank god I read that before submitting it.</p><p><span></span>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gny2yf4?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">jenskal</a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gny2yf4?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a>Tell the camera crew to get out or get weird.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnz2mr7?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">WielderOfDaNWordPass</a></p><p>Fine want to record me 24/7? Congrats, I have IBS.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnz0d4s?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">wanderurlyy</a></p>Phone Privileges
<p>To be able to link my phone's outlook reader to my university account, I would had to give the IT-department permission to wipe my phone clean "if needed."</p><p>No thanks, I'll just use browser instead.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnxdc3z?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">craftaliis</a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnxdc3z?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a>I saw an employment contract where, if you did any company business on your cell phone, they could go through your phone and delete/restrict basically whatever they wanted. </p><p>I advised my friend to make a company-provided phone part of her contract.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnxq6pc?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">EngineeringQueen</a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnxq6pc?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a>Yeah. Someone at my old company had a commonish name, and someone lost their phone... and the company wiped the wrong phone.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnye6z8?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">blargh2947</a></p>The Good Ol' US of A
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTY4OTYxMi9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYyOTA1MDM5M30.A1BqwoI_FExTt3jqON2xJbJN1qt62txRrTsJ8V5Ybs8/img.gif?width=980" id="99844" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="9236d4a9b82c22589577961a2a710924" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="270" />Season 3 America GIF by Broad CityGiphy<p>Any health and safety terms and conditions in USA. </p><p>I was working on adapting a US one for a charity event in the UK run by the same people and oh boy you cannot get away with that here. One line said if an employee harmed you in any way (even intentionally), you could not sue... </p><p>What!? </p><p><span></span>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnydf7s?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">lt52-</a></p>Keep It
<p>Free ceiling insulation. </p><p>The catch? You allowed a company to install temperature sensors around the inside of your house, and they can do that at any time. And you have to allow access for them to check the sensors and get readings, adjust things, and remove the sensors. Everything belongs to the company. </p><p>This means letting randos into your house potentially over and over to get their readings from the electrical crap they put in your house. </p><p>Nah I'm good, keep your insulation.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnyrbn7?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">bumpequalsbump</a></p>Airlines
<p>Was going to post this as a response on another thread, but I want people to actually see it.</p><p>When you book a flight, in the terms and conditions (especially for basic and econo fares) you agree that in the event of your flight getting canceled due to an act outside of the airlines control they don't have to refund you unless they offer you a travel credit.</p><p>That includes a world spanning virus.</p><p>Don't be cheap, get travelers insurance or pay for the higher fare that has a refund clause.</p><p><span></span>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnxyb4e?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">bpanio</a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnxyb4e?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a></p>Crepes
<p>I worked for a meat pie company that moved over from Australia that made me sign a contract that I would never work for another meat pie company or open an establishment that sells similar food. I didn't read the fine print. </p><p>They also sold a few other things ... like crepes. Sure enough, I wanted to open a food truck and my partner had her sights on crepes as she made them in her previous food truck and it just happened a truck we were buying was set up to make similar things. </p><p>I gave 1 month notice because they were busy and I didn't want to leave them stranded in high season. I told the owner we were working on a food truck we bought, it was a dream coming true, and that it happens we are doing crepes as my partner is French and had done them before.</p>This Sparks Joy
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTY4OTU2NS9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYxOTY0OTgxM30.takzFO7X_vx_UzNvPeNEvpcYSGho5_AZNX-itkNSdOE/img.gif?width=980" id="d78cf" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="09a8efb07fb739ec04f38de1406639f5" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="276" />Giphy<p>I'm pretty sure I gave google the rights to all of my Spotify data when they gave me a free google home. </p><p>On one hand, RIP privacy. </p><p>On the other hand, knowing some poor algorithm has to figure out some possible way to advertise things to me based on listening to Knock On Wood 57 times in a row and the soundtrack to Starship Troopers on repeat gives me great joy.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnywvs7?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">OakNogg</a></p>Claim $100
<p>Back when the internet really started being a thing, some company/website put something in their terms and conditions about the first person who reads it, can contact them to claim a $100 prize. </p><p>Took five years for somebody to claim the prize.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gny3g6s?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">RubyShooz </a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gny3g6s?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a>I wonder how much of that is people not reading it and how much is people reading it and thinking "surely somebody's already claimed this by now, why bother?"</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnyj0gy?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Novaseerblyat</a></p>Amazon ... Should We Be Worried?
<p>Not really an example of the worst thing, but you're not allowed to use Amazon's game engine (Lumberyard) for military/nuclear applications normally, but that restriction is suspended specifically if there's a zombie apocalypse</p><p><a href="https://aws.amazon.com/service-terms/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://aws.amazon.com/service-terms/</a> Clause 47.10: "<em>this restriction will not apply in the event of the occurrence (certified by the United States Centers for Disease Control or successor body) of a widespread viral infection transmitted via bites or contact with bodily fluids that causes human corpses to reanimate and seek to consume living human flesh, blood, brain or nerve tissue and is likely to result in the fall of organized civilization</em></p><p><em></em>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gny3skb?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">OldGodsAndNew</a></p>Most Ridiculous
<p>I recall a major airline in the pioneer days won an award for most ridiculous TOS to simply look up a flight arrival time on their web site.</p><p>If I recall, it was a 22,000 word document that an analysis said was written at a post graduate reading level. It states that you would, in perpetuity, never use that computer to connect to any other airline's website.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnyb3lm?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">NightMGR</a></p><p>What were they planning on doing about it if you broke the contract? Send a hitman after you or something?</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/go1hpi5?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ChungusFungus303</a></p>Citibank Is Serious Business
<p>When I started work for Citibank, they asked me to sign two documents;</p><ol><li>promising I would never use encryption for any purpose other than Citibank's for as long as I live.</li><li>promising to obey the laws of all 196 countries on earth that Citibank operates in.</li></ol><p>So obviously I looked at my cubicle mate and stoned her to death for exposing her wrists, and I can no longer use HTTPS.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnyy0u3?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">beachbbqlover</a></p>Funeral Home Employees Divulge The Weirdest Requests They've Ever Gotten
Death is scary. It brings the unknown of the great beyond, whether that's heaven, some other afterlife, or total nothingness, depending on what you believe.
But there is one perk that comes with death: total control of your funeral.
Let the Games Begin
<p>"I got a request for the deceased to be dressed up in a Where's Waldo costume and to have 12 other identical caskets in the room so the guests could try to guess where he was by opening coffins randomly."</p><p>"Each guest was to play this guessing game and then sit down before the next person could enter so everyone could play the game."</p><p>"Problem was not everyone wanted to play the game.....super odd but they paid a lot for it."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnylmi3?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ramontgomery</a></p>Dead In a Faraway Galaxy
<p>"The deceased was a huge Star Wars fan and left explicit instructions for his funeral."</p><p>"As funeral organist, I was requested to play Star Wars principal themes on the grand pipe organ for prelude music, processional and recessional."</p><p>"As I once described, pall bearers were dressed in main characters costumes and "Obi-Wan Kenobi" gave an inspired eulogy, drawing upon memorable moments from the series."</p><p>"Using 'full organ' (all the stops out) for climatic moments, I played the <em>Imperial March</em> at the conclusion of the funeral before those in attendance departed for the cemetery for the committal."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnxielt?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Back2Bach</a></p>A True Celebration of the Life He Lived
<p>"I'm a florist, and I've created some unique tributes out of fresh flowers, and more."</p><p>"I made a putting green two feet across, complete with ball, tee and a club for an avid golfer. I constructed a fish out of various blooms and leaves, placed by a lakeside foliage spray. I've made rainbows and black and white themed arrangements. I put a lot of heart into memorial pieces."</p><p>"A few years ago, I was helping a family decide on their tributes for a much-loved man. The wife stressed he was known for his big blue Giant Eagle truck, and most of their friends were from the driver's union."</p><p>"I volunteered myself for a watercolor picture of the truck around which I would design a floral spray. It took four attempts, but I was finally happy, and framed it."</p><p>"Two days later, I received the most wonderful letter from his wife, and said that everyone agreed it was the most appropriate and important statement about his life. It will sit on her mantle for the rest of her life."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnyf7h2?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">cavepainted</a></p>Friends Til the Very End
<p>"My family owns a grave digging business as well as lawn and garden statues, someone purchased an 8ft tall gorilla statue."</p><p>"My dad delivered it and asked what they were going to do with it and where they were putting it, the guys said their friends dying wish was to be stuffed up this concrete gorillas a**, and that's what they did."</p><p>"They drilled a whole in the a** and put their buddies ashes inside"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnytm2i?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">hayhay428</a></p>Always Watching
<p>"My husband found out they can make gems out of cremains, and now he wants to be reduced to 2 jewels seated in his own eye sockets."</p><p>"I don't want a skull! I don't want to own his skull! I don't want him to watch me with his evil gem eyes!"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gny5vcy?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ParadiseSold</a></p>For Science
<p>"My own will requests that my right eye be removed, preserved and delivered to my oncologist in Miami for him to do with whatever he sees fit."</p><p>"Hopefully as a teaching aid to new optometry students, but if he wants to use it for pranks I'm totally fine with that too."</p><p>"I survived a very unusual eye cancer and they had to do all kinds of experimental things to repair it when all was done. I jokingly suggested I donate it to science when I went and he said that was an amazing idea. So, here you go."</p><p>"I hope whoever deals with my corpse has fun with that request."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnxp6ri?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">zerbey</a> </p>One Last Look
<p>"My wife's uncle asked the funeral director when he dies he would like his eyes open in the casket during his viewing."</p><p>"His entire life everyone commented on his big baby blue eyes and he wanted them open for people to see one last time."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnycdzg?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Agreeable-Scratch424</a></p>One Last F-You
<p>"One rich guy hated his kids and didn't want them to get a cent of his wealth. He therefore wanted all his money to spent on a mausoleum for his coffin with a rose garden around it and the eternal upkeep thereof."</p><p>"He had the city council-approved architectural plans for the mausoleum included in his will and testament."</p><p>"He demanded in his will that the remaining funds, after construction, must go to a gardening service to maintain the rose garden and clean off the bird poop from his mausoleum in perpetuity until the money runs out in a few centuries."</p><p>"The mausoleum is in Cemetery de Saint Rambert outside Lyon, France."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnxnk4q?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">JingoisticJeremiah</a></p>Utter Indifference
<p>"My coworker was meeting a client who was picking up his mother's cremains. My coworker has the client sign a release, then hands him the urn."</p><p>The man immediately turns around and drops the urn into the trash can."</p><p>"My coworker is a 40 year funeral director veteran, and without missing a beat, he says, 'Sir, I can understand your strong feelings about your mother, but I cannot allow you to leave that here. What you do once you get out the door is up to you and God.' " </p><p>"Dude picked up the urn and left without a word."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnybff8?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">keliez</a></p>To Reflect What She Was Like, Or Never Did?
<p>"My mom asked the embalmer to put a few stitches in my grandma's cheeks to give her a faint smile. </p><p>"At the time it seemed like an odd, even slightly morbid request, but 20+ years on, it's one of the only things I remember from her funeral. It was kind of lovely, actually."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnx79mi?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Fearless_Lab</a></p>After we've watched a movie, it can be difficult to imagine the film as a project that took months or years to finally culminate into the product we see at the theater or on our television.
But it was built and hacked together, piece by piece.