Life lessons are hard learned and often not a fun process. What a gift good life advice can be from someone who has gone through the experience.
The difficult thing is that sometimes, until we are ready, we don't understand the full meaning or value of that advice.
How many times have you looked back and wondered “why didn't I listen!?"
Well, hindsight is 20-20 so when an elder shares their advice with you, it is often helpful to consider it.
Redditor starblade1337 wanted to know the best advice the internet had to offer.
They asked:
“What life lesson did you learn that you will never forget and when did you learn it?"
Everyone is not your friend...
“Not everyone at work is and wants to be your friend, some just pretend and then screw you over. Learned that doing my apprenticeship and found the same sh*t in almost every other company I worked for so far." ZockStartion
“You don't like everyone...”
“‘You don't like everybody, so don't worry about everybody liking you’. Of course, be respectful to everyone you meet. But don't bend over backwards to please all of them.” QueenFlowers91
A lesson hard learned...
“You can delegate authority, you can't delegate responsibility. Been a mantra my mom has spoken since I was a kid." oniwolf382
“I learned this one as a young man. I was a maintenance supervisor at a resort and every week we had to shut down a floor of each building in the wintertime to do repairs and refurbishment on all the condo units. One employee complained that he got stuck with painting all the time so I told him if he was comfortable replacing the hot water heaters that week, he could do that job."
"So I was focused on all the logistics and normal operations and let him do his thing. The day before everything was to be inspected and put back into service I discovered that the employee had four more water heaters to replace and he had not put all the previous unit's cabinetry back together (the heaters were hidden under the countertop in the kitchen)."
"We had to pay thousands of dollars to a plumbing company to come in and finish the job because there was no way to get it all done in time. My boss in the home office was furious and asked how this happened when we were doing all the other floors on time. I tried to explain that the employee f**ked up and didn't tell anyone in time."
"But my boss explained to me that it's my job to make sure they did their job and not make excuses. I was pissed but after I cooled off, I realized he was right. You can assign tasks and projects to others but ultimately you have to be responsible for the overall outcome." BaconReceptacle
Your attitude counts for a lot...
“If you're right but you're obnoxious about it, people won't see you as the good guy. Took me until the end of grad school to figure that one out.” rocketparrotlet
They're trying to be polite offering...
“Never refuse when someone offers you a breath mint - my grandfather after I declined a breath mint from him.” Reaper
Giphy“It'll eventually drive you apart...”
“You don't ever truly know another person. Unless you can take up residence in their head, you'll never be privy to their true nature. Learned this through the process of growing up and losing friends/SOs.”
“It's not always malicious, sometimes you latch onto the idea of a person rather than who they are. It'll eventually drive you apart as you realize that there is incongruity between who they are and who you think they are.” Titronnica
Good advice...
“My dad taught me as a teenager that relationships should be easy. Biggest and best lesson I've ever learned. Relationships should not be filled with drama but with friendship and respect. Really helped me choose who to be with. Now I teach my daughters the same thing so maybe they can prevent being in a painful relationship.” Dianne_Disco_3
“unapologetically do what makes you happy...”
“As you reach adulthood , ie paying for a majority of things on your own and you make a majority of the decisions in your life. Believe in the decisions you make and unapologetically do what makes you happy regardless of what your parents think. They don't live your life and you will develop resentment if you don't do what truly makes you happy. I was 26 when I realized!” Cheslee3
She was wise...
“When I was in high school, my mom and I took a day to go church shopping in a new part of town. We must've gone to 5 services that day. Some were fun and lively, some were quiet and reserved. But one in particular really stuck out to me for being so… kooky."
“It was October, and the preacher was starting his sermon to the room of 40 people with 'Halloween is right around the corner. Who here celebrates Halloween?' I was the only person to raise my hand. The preacher goes 'Good! Because Halloween is celebrating the Devil, and we don't do that here.' At this point, I quickly drop my hand as people give me weird looks."
“My mom then goes 'by the way, it's not a good idea to volunteer information to a group of people you don't know.' I learned that I need to wait until I understand at least the basic dynamics of a group before sharing anything about myself. In these cases especially, it's better to be quiet and anonymous than to stand out and be a target. We never ended up going back to any of the churches we saw that day, though." psburrito
You can't trust people...
“Don't become a walking charity. When I was in my early-to-mid-20s, I had a lot of 'friends' who were falling on hard times or needed various types of help. And I was only too happy to help - I had the money, I had the time, I would do anything for them."
“Not one of them repaid - financially, or otherwise. Instead, I was just taken advantage of, left, right and center. It all ended when I suggested a friend of mine who broke up with their partner and had no place to live come stay with me. Next thing I knew, they were inviting their friends over all the time, often without my permission."
"They weren't contributing a penny to the income of the household. Their new partner soon moved in, and my house basically became a doss house. And they became a mean-spirited, emotionally abusive a**hole who made my life miserable in my own home."
"Now, I offer advice only. If you need financial support, you can go to the council. If you need housing, you can go to the council. If you want me to provide either of those things, you can bugger off." RedWestern
Focus And Control
"Focus on what you can control rather than what you cannot."
"I found that there were many times as I grew up when I put far too much energy into being upset about other people's decisions or how they treated me rather than leaving the situations/taking action for the things that I could change."
"When I truly learned this, I also learned how to set boundaries for and take better care of myself :)"
- sarebakerbare
Sadists
"Some people actually enjoy putting others through pain."
"I always thought that maybe they didn’t realize... but some people do. Some people brag about hurting others and doing immoral things. The people they hurt can include people they’ve known for years or claim to love the most."
"You can’t get in anyone else’s head... so it’s best to leave if they have a pattern of hurting others. They may not deserve your empathy."
- throwaway_627292737
Elephant Riders
"For most people, their emotions are like an elephant, and their ability to think is like a person riding on the elephant."
"An experienced rider can steer the giant beast to do his bidding, but most people never invest the time to learn and don't have control of their elephant."
"They live out their lives on autopilot, always going wherever the elephant takes them."
"Learning this explained a lot about people, from irrational political beliefs, to why some get into stupid arguments, etc."
- bobas_mk
ouch elephant GIFGiphyThe Ultimatum
"At 18/19 or so, I was forced to choose between my cheating girlfriend and someone I liked as a friend."
"My then-girlfriend was thinking I would cheat (read: revenge) on her. It wasn’t as simple as I put it here at the time, obviously."
"I actually chose the cheater."
"I’ve been too embarrassed to tell the other girl why I disappeared and haven’t had the chance to properly talk to her ever again."
"I’ll never make the wrong decision again and I regret it ever since (it’s many years later now)."
- Baarluh
Education
"No one will give you the education you need to overthrow them."
"I've found this to be very true, particularly in the workplace setting. Bosses who are scared you are coming for their job will keep you in the dark or give only the bare minimum training."
"It is ultimately on YOU to learn the skills you will need to thrive."
- 0str301d34
If People Don't Like You
"Dear people with social anxiety:"
"You vastly overestimate people’s willingness to be around people they don’t like. If somebody doesn’t like you, they will either constantly make excuses to leave or make it obvious that they want to."
"Don’t play the 'do they like me or are they just pretending' game, because you’ll just go in circles and stress yourself out."
"Learned this pretty recently, tbh."
- Nate2247
Happy Is In Your Hands
"Happiness is truly in your own hands."
"Don't expect a partner to make you happy. You have to do things that make YOU proud of YOU."
"Forgive those who have wronged you. Forgive your past self. Search your heart for the things that bring you joy and do those things."
"I was about 34 when I learned this. If I would've came to this realization in my early 20's, I would've saved myself so much emptiness and heartache."
- DeliciousFactor3785
If It Aint Broke
"It used to be 'If you see something not quite working right, fix it.' "
"But then after a few more years I've learned 'If you see something not quite working right, but it isn't critical, and you messing with it is only going to make it worse, leave it the f*ck alone.' "
- rahendric
Some well thought out advice, hopefully we all can apply a little bit into our lives.
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Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.