People Divulge The Things All Teenagers Should Know Before Becoming Adults
When we think of teenagers one of the first things that comes to mind is the idea that they have a total know-it-all thing going on. I'll be honest, as a teen I was convinced I had things at least mostly figured out. Oh god, so wrong. So very, very wrong.
So now that I'm an adult, there are tons of things I try to explain to the kids and teens in my life, but I know they just sit and stare at me blankly the way I did to my family members who tried to guide me. It's a cycle, I've just come to accept it.
But that doesn't mean teenagers aren't willing to listen to any adults - just typically not the ones close to them. So to help out the teens in your life who just roll their eyes apathetically at you when you talk, we dove into this thread.
Reddit user spaliusreal asked:
So here you go, advice and wisdom from their oh-so-very-elders to help them evolve into adults while (hopefully) skipping a few of the major missteps that we made. Get off our lawn, teenagers. Go make your own mistakes!
You don't have five dollars until you have ten dollars. If you have a period where you're suddenly rich (like right after getting your first loan) then save as much as possible. Keep a months rent at hand if you can. Honestly, between all the confusing parts of being adult, what has saved my butt more times than anything else is just having a little bit of financial cushioning.
Also buy things on sale. Thrift shops are your friend. Learning to sew is going to save you some day. Always buy a plunger before you need it.
Don't Stop Playing
You don't have to stop enjoying things just because you're an adult. Don't stop playing just because people say it's childish. Splash in puddles when the mood takes you. Sit on a swing and just be alive for a little while. Watch cartoons, play DnD with friends, build a fort with your partner in your living room. Being an adult doesn't mean you have to give up things that make you feel joyful or playful and you don't need to prove to anyone that you are an adult by way of letting go of the little things in life that make you smile.
Saving up is better than credit. If you have credit don't go past 30% of your total limit and pay it off in full every month. Bankruptcy is easy but stays with you for years. Keep cash on hand for emergencies. Water is your friend, drink lots.
Also, never lend money and never co-sign for anyone. Oh and never use "rent to buy " stores!! You'll end up paying at least twice what the item is worth.
Get yourself a good support network of people you can actually trust and who will help you out in a time of genuine emergency.
I ended up in A&E (the ER) the other day and was so grateful to have someone I trust who called an ambulance for me, as I was unresponsive.
Also, if I'm not doing too great, I have some friends I can go and talk to. I can literally pull up in their driveway, tell them I'm there and they will let me in and listen to me, no questions asked. I make sure I reciprocate that as well.
Being an adult can be scary and lonely at times and there WILL come a time when you really need someone. Make sure you have at least one person to turn to.
Nothing Is Truly Private
That what you post on social media has consequences. Be smart about it, don't post things you wouldn't want an employer or your mom to see.
Remember kids, NOTHING is truly "private" online.
I'm a recruiter. If I could count the amount of times I have rejected a candidate because of something on their social media...
Honestly it's seldom a picture that turns me off. It's usually a ton of vaguebook posts or something along those lines.
I have a 50yo client who's a very highly qualified, but now unemployed professional.
I had to send him an email that MAYBE commenting "👅👅👅 beautiful tats" on an 18 year old girls Instagram picture just isn't a good idea. The fact I had to send THAT email...
Make sure you know how to cook a few decent meals. I recommend getting a slow cooker. Throw ingredients in, walk away for several hours, boom, food magically appears. And, if you live alone, you pretty much have at least one meal a day set for the rest of the week.
Trade It In
It's 100% okay to go into a trade instead of going to college. Honestly, you will probably make more coming out of a trade school in 2 years than most people make after going to a 4 year university.
Who You Know
Your peers care about what you do, no matter what Reddit says to the contrary. The way to get ahead is through loose connections.
"Hey, we got an opening at my firm. I'll put in a good word for you."
If you're an introvert who keeps the nose to the grindstone and doesn't interact, your life will be immeasurably more difficult.
This is very good advice. A lot of folks have the mindset of "Just do good work and the rewards follow" but reality is that there's a lot of people who do good work, and not a lot of people who do good networking. It's the ones who are personable and easy to work alongside with who get promoted and hired, not the ones who just simply turn in their assignments on time.
Learn to take criticism. You will need to be able to hear things you don't want to be told, in a manner that you find irksome, from people you don't particularly like, in order to improve.
This is super important. As a teenager it's often very easy to cut out people who day things you don't like. Just stop being friends with them right?
It doesn't swing at work. These people aren't going anywhere and you'll need to find a way to work alongside them.
Further to that, whether you like them or not some of them will have valuable knowledge you NEED. They may not be someone you like. They may not give you the information in a way you like. But that doesn't change the fact their knowledge and experience is valuable and you should use that resource.
Others may point our your errors. They may even point out your errors in ways you find patronizing and mean. No one really cares about your feelings and your errors are likely causing them a headache further down the line.
This job might not mean much to you and you might think they're totally lame for caring so much about work but this IS important to them and most of the time pointing out your mistakes is a genuine effort to help you and prevent formal escalation with management.
Eventually you will be one of these people who cares about work and the 17 year old newbie thinks your lame.
Because if you go through life half assing your job and not caring you're going to spend your life in awful low levels positions.
Make Good ChoicesGiphy
Regardless of what people complain about, it is NOT that hard.
All it takes is making good choices. Making good choices can be a hard pill to swallow sometimes, but its not like its actually difficult. Don't take out that 100K loan for a dumb degree, your first house doesn't need to cost a quarter million dollars, you don't need a brand new car as a "reward" for whatever stupid adulting milestone you think you just passed. Started a big-boy job? Max out that 401K. No, you don't need the money for anything else. Put it in your goddamn 401K.
Your future doesn't stop when you're an adult. Keep making good choices.
It's Up To You
No one is going to make sure you are taking care of your health. It's up to you to eat well, get exercise, take care of your teeth (seriously do it now and spare yourself money and pain in the future), take all your meds if necessary, wear sunscreen, stay hydrated, and so on. What you do now will seriously affect you in the future so get into good habits when you're younger.
Making It Up
When I was younger I always looked up to adults as having it all together. As I've gotten older and am now in my 30's I fully realize that most of us don't have it all together, and at times we're just making it up as we go along.
Tips From A 42 Year Old
Tips from a 42 year old who didn't do many of these things and wish I would have... in no particular order.:
Always have a $1,000 emergency fund and do not dip in for anything but real emergencies (car broke down, etc). Replenish it as soon as you can after you have to make us of some of it.
Always put a percentage of your paycheck into a savings account that is in a different bank than your normal bank. It helps keep it out of sight and less likely to be used.
Stay active. Exercise regularly. Even when you get into a relationship, stay active.
Eat right. Do not eat McDonald's every day because it's cheap.
Learn how to cook. Take a class if you can, but learn how to make more than Mac and cheese, spaghetti, noodles, or BBQ stuff.
Study in school and get a good paying job that you enjoy. You spend 8+ hours a day with your coworkers doing your assigned tasks and potentially helping them with theirs; make sure you like it/them.
Be kind. Be forgiving. Be smart. Be on guard. Be thoughtful. Be loving. Be humble.
Struggle V. Relief
I say this as an 18 year old who moved out on her own about a year ago from a very abusive childhood. Yes, the responsibilities are hard. Yes, there are lots of confusing things that nobody can prepare you for. Yes, cheese is expensive. But there is no struggle that trumps the feeling of relief you feel when you come home to a living environment that isn't seeping with toxicity from an abusive situation. I struggle to make ends meet, and it's a thousand times better than living with my parents.
Fight The Rut
Don't let yourself get stuck in a rut. I felt really depressed as my days became work, home, gym, repeat. Eventually, my sister and her boyfriend at the time introduced me to swing dancing. It got me out socializing and learning a new skill that I loved, and I met my fiancee after a few years of going.
Uber Over AmbulanceGiphy
Take an Uber to the hospital if you aren't absolutely near death. Ambulance rides are really pricey. They often have to charge you just to come check you out. So if you can, avoid calling on them.
Until You Make A Mistake
There are more responsibilities, chores and more consequences for things that you do, but it doesn't feel any different until you make a mistake. At first it can be great but if you spend all your money without saving any you can get stuck paying your bills, calling in sick for work like you would for school one too many times can cost your job and make it harder obtaining another job. Though if you manage everything correctly it really is awesome.
Confidence Is Key
Believe in yourself. Don't get the mindset of telling yourself "Oh, well I doubt that could happen" or, "I don't think i could do that"
A lot of what stops you from doing things is you. Persevere push forward happy, enjoy life. Enjoy the little moments, because in the end they're the biggest moments you'll remember. Don't be hesitant to live, and love, and don't forget to treat yourself sometimes. Being mature, and financially secure is extremely important, but so is your mental health. What is the point of life if you have money, but, you're depressed, hate your job and become sour?
Never A Moment
That there's never a moment where it all makes sense and you know what to do. There's no manual, no classes, no one to give you instruction...You're just winging it. So, if you think for one second your parents have any clue what they're doing, you're so very wrong.
And, financially, if you can't afford to buy something twice -- especially big things -- then you can't afford it.
If school is a nightmare for you, it's not going to last forever. If school is an amazing place for you, it's not going to last forever.
Cooking Is Cost Effective
If you haven't yet, learn how to cook. You dont have to memorize how to do xyz recipe, or be able to make Gordon Ramsay jealous, but knowing a little bit of the basics can help you build up to the more complex stuff.
It will also give you the ability to feed yourself a meal a day for a week on like $10, depending on what you bought from where. Like a spaghetti with red sauce and ground meat was my go-to when there wasn't anything good on sale. Store brands can get you far.
I like to use veggie noodles for nutrition reasons, and ground turkey (that i season with salt, pepper and garlic powder) for cost reasons.
You know how teenagers complain about how school doesn't prepare them for real life? It doesn't teach you how to adult in that it doesn't teach you how to do taxes, balance a budget, etc?
Adulthood isn't knowing these things.
Adulthood is finding out how to find them out, and teaching yourself.
Not every action needs a reaction. Especially the people who hurt you. Forget 'em and never talk to them again. Don't try to get closure because you'll never get what you want out of it. None of us are owed closure and, for the most part, it doesn't exist in the real world.
You're wrong about a bunch of stuff. But when you realize it, it's going to be super frustrating when you try to tell the next batch of idiot teenagers and they ignore you.
Be prepared for a very, very low moment in your life. This will test how strong you are and you (I promise) will feel how much stronger you are becoming after going through it. Giving up will always be in your head, its human nature, we want to avoid resistance and take easier path, but you will overcome.
People will fail you many times over.
Loyalty means very little to businesses.
The more you think about the reality of this planet and how society works the more you feel out of place.
The lonelier you are, the more you judge yourself - and you can be your hardest critic. Having people around you to remind you that you are doing ok is important.
Make sure you don't go days without getting a hug, or laughing, or exercising, or having sex... the soul needs this.
Overall be present. Don't think too far ahead and don't live in the past. Good luck, you'll need it.
You don't need to be in a relationship to be validated.
Most people are like, "You're how old and you're single!?!?" Ignore them..
Take any time in between to focus on growing yourself, for you, and anyone who may come along.
Quality Of Life
When you move out on your own you won't have the quality of life you're used to from living with your parents. It took them 20+ years of hard work to get to the point they're at. You'll get there eventually, but in the meantime you're probably going to live in some crappy places with cheap furniture, appliances, etc.
You might not be able to afford to heat and cool your house to the ideal temperature year round. You won't be able to eat as well as they do on a daily basis. Your washing machine might not get your clothes quite as clean as your used to and the dryer might leave things damp no matter what you do.
I'm going to through that now, though I'm somewhere closer to the end. When you first move out you need to get so much at once (couch, table, chairs, desk, bed, cutlery, linens, dishes, pots, pans, small appliances, the list goes on and on) that no one could afford to buy nice versions of it all so you end up with cheap versions of everything.
Over time you start replacing things. That first couch gets thrown away, the Walmart pans become something brand name, the cheapest toaster you could find becomes one that has settings other than "still bread" and "charcoal". It takes time, but as long as you work at it you'll slowly improve your quality of life. As you're making that transition don't shop exclusively at Ikea or any other retailer. You don't want to end up with a place that looks like a show room floor.
The first thing you should buy when you move out is a plunger that's designed for toilets.
Being friends with someone "for forever" isn't a good reason to remain friends if you have absolutely nothing in common. Save yourself the headache and remember that most people in your life will come and go. Stop chaining down people just because you're incapable of letting go when it's time to do so.
Surround yourself with quality people versus quantity.
Learn to be independent and do things alone. It can actually be pretty enjoyable.
Your metabolism dies when you hit 30.
Just because your friends are in relationships, getting married, having babies doesn't mean you need to at the same time.
SPF and moisturizer. Seriously. Pale is better than skin cancer or looking like a saddle at 30
MLMs are bad. You will not get rich, you will alienate everyone and you will be a laughing stock.
Reddit user primeiro23 asked: 'What are the craziest ways you’ve heard of people making money?'
When I was in seventh grade, I had aspirations to be a poet. I made a Mother's Day card for my mom with a cute (but now, cringe-worthy) poem inside, and a hand-drawn picture of a rose that took me hours to perfect.
A friend saw the card and said they wished they could do the same. Then suddenly, she asked if she could buy the card from me. I said no, since I needed to give it to my own mother, but I said I could make her a copy. From there, my friend got the idea for me to make copies of the card to sell. I went along with it, mostly because I didn't think it would actually work.
Turns out, it did. After making sure people would actually be interested, we went to the library after school and made several color copies of my card for 10 cents each. The next day, we sold each card for $1. Not only did we make enough money so that my friend and I could both afford to get our moms an actual present in addition to the card, but we had enough leftover to put us over the top for the money we needed to buy the matching faux leather jackets we'd been wanting all year.
The next year, many people who bought cards asked me to do it again, so I did. Once again, we made a killing. We didn't try to do it again once we got to high school, but it was definitely fun while it lasted.
When we tell people this story, they think it's a pretty crazy money-making scheme. Maybe it is, but we're not the only ones who ever did anything like this. Redditors know all about crazy money-making schemes, and are eager to share their own stories.
It all started when Redditor primeiro23 asked:
"What are the craziest ways you’ve heard of people making money?"
Tumble Into Business
"In college, I take a class on how to start & run a small business. Prof tells us to think of ridiculous business models for our fictitious businesses as we will get more out of the class that way. Stupid ideas ensue. Selling paperclips door to door, refilling car gasoline tanks in people's driveways, service to read & summarize the newspaper to executives etc."
"One classmate decides he is going to sell tumbleweed."
"Guess who quits college and started a successful business? Tumbleweed guy. Takes a van to the desert, collects tumbleweed and sells them to Hollywood movie & TV studios who need them. Keeps the tumbleweed in a warehouse and since they never spoil, his only costs are gasoline, storage & a website. He eventually becomes the number one tumbleweed provider to studios around the world, shipping tumbleweed globally."
"Made a heap of money selling what millions of people drive by and ignore every year."
"I did have a job reading and summarizing newspaper articles to the boss. Literally only task I was hired for."
"An actual union job in the film industry is reading scripts and summarizing them in short mean book reports."
"Heard of crazier, but a guy I know, friend of my mother's, went to Texas 30+ years ago. (we are from Norway), and he noticed every single garden had a trampoline. And it was almost always "jump king" - the circular with blue mat ones."
"So he went to the HQ, bought 10 and took back to Norway. Within days they were sold, and he ordered 50 more, same thing. So he became the only importer and has God knows how many millions to his name today."
"This IS wild. I went to Norway recently and one of the first things I noticed was that almost EVERY yard had a trampoline in it."
Working For A Home
"Back when Dogecoin took off I wrote a guide on recovering old lost wallets and it got so popular I was flooded with requests for further help. Some corrupted wallet files, some lost passwords, etc."
"I have a background in computer science and experience in data retrieval and password cracking, so I started helping people in exchange for a percentage cut (industry standard for wallet recovery). All above board with a contract and everything."
"For a while I was getting new clients every week and making hundreds up to thousands of dollars on every successful recovery (with a fairly good rate of success). The biggest one I ever recovered was a 19 letter long password someone had lost. The work dried up when the price of doge dropped but it got me the down-payment on a house."
"A cabbie in Dublin once told me a story about one of his fares who had a brilliant hustle."
"The guy was a sculptor. He would watch horse races, then when a horse won, he'd use social media to contact the owner directly with a digital mockup of a life-sized sculpture of the winning horse. Now, the people who own winning racehorses tend to be very rich - we're talking sheikhs, oligarchs, billionaires. Every now and again, one of these owners would bite, and spend €100,000 euros or so on a statue commemorating their animal's win."
"Dude only did a couple a year, and spent the rest of the time living the good life."
"Richest guy in a rich town near us makes enormous amounts of money buying Hershey bars and rewrapping them with customised retirement celebration designs or corporate logos to be given away at events. Literally just rewraps them in pieces of paper and doubles or triples his money."
"Every time I try to start a company or invent a better product or something, I ask myself why I’m not just rewrapping candy bars."
"F**k man, I think I found my new niche."
"I went to college in a capitol C college town. A friend of mine bought an old school bus, fixed it up and took out all the seats."
"At the end of every semester she would drive around the neighborhood that was the fancier side of off campus living and collect whatever the rich kids were throwing out before they moved / went home for the summer. Flat screen TVs, couches, computers, tables, it was wild to see what people would chuck out and replace the next semester rather than having to deal with getting a storage unit or moving themselves."
"Sold it all on Craigslist over the summer or the beginning of the next semester and made a killing."
Credit Where Credit Is Undue
"When I worked in a really busy, upscale restaurant my coworker would put all of his cash-paying customer’s bills on his credit card and keep the cash which he used to promptly pay off his credit card."
"He did this all day, every day for quite a while and the points started to add up and he was getting free airfare, etc."
"Worked great for a while until management notice a rise in credit card processing fees with an emphasis on one employee and they shut him down real quick."
We Found Gold!
"My buddy worked his way through college by panning for gold. This was in 2009 in California. Most days he made nothing, occasionally he would come home with a couple hundred bucks worth and I think once he found a night worth over $1k."
"My cousin had a metal detector when he was in HS. He would go every weekend down to the lake and take it with him on vacation. He found all kinds of things. He did find gold jewelry and would sell it online. He made so much money he bought his own car."
Sleeping For The Job
"I knew a woman whose job was literally to sleep."
"A local office building owner wanted somebody on-site 24/7 to be the point of contact with first responders if they ever needed to be called. So they hired her to come in to the building in the evening when the maintenance crew was finishing their work. And she would settle up to sleep for the night in a bedroom they'd set aside for her. In the morning she'd hand the building back over to the office employees and go on about her day."
"No first responders were ever called. It's about the least stressful legitimate job I could ever imagine."
"Back in the 90s, I knew a guy who put an ad in the classified section of the newspaper which read something along the lines of, “For $10, I’ll tell you my secret to making easy money. Send $10 cash to (address) to find out how.” People would send him $10 & he would then instruct them to put a classified ad in the newspaper telling people to send $10 & how to make money."
"I was pushed down the stairs by a teen girl who told me to "pay attention and get out of her way" i ripped my dress during the fall and was getting back up when some guy rushed up to me, apologized for his daughter and handed me $500 as compensation."
"LOL - years back, I was in a parking lot during a snowstorm. A guy was trying to pull around me, slid on the snow/ice and hit into my passenger side door. It really and truly was an accident. He was all apologies. We exchanged info - he said to get a quote and he would pay for the damage."
"Well, the car I was driving at the time was a crappy old Ford worth maybe $500. But, I went to a body shop, got a quote on the repair and it was $900. I faxed it to him (this was back in the 90's, LOL) thinking he'd tell me to go through the insurance company and just have the car totaled out."
"To my surprise, I had a bank check for $900 from him in my mailbox three days later. Now, I already owned another car, so I pocketed the $900, sold the smashed car for parts for $300 and ended up with $1200 on a car that was worth only $500 before the accident. I was very glad that he ran into me!"
– Deleted User
"I have a friend who sells pictures of her feet. In heels. Barefoot squishing cake. In mud. She charges extra for special requests. Has strict ‘no go’ rules. Never shows anything above the calf so she can’t be identified (no tats). All proceeds go to her kid’s college fund. Has made enough to fund a PhD."
The things people do for money! But, I guess it works for her!
When we're in pain or scared, we're not on our best behavior.
We've got more important things on our minds than proper etiquette.
Couple our lowered inhibitions with the bizarre amalgam that is the human body and weirdness is bound to happen in hospital waiting rooms.
Reddit user IAmAsianHearMeRoar asked:
"What did you see happen in the hospital waiting room?"
"A cat walked in once."
"Shamelessly caught everyone's attention."
"Maybe due to how long we were kept waiting, but a few of us jumped at the chance to grab the cats' attention."
"I’m excited to see a cat every time I see a cat."
"I own three cats. Or they own me, whatever."
"I’ve worked in the vet field 3 years, have my own cat and I’m always excited to see a cat. I love cats!"
"Watched a guy fake passing out so he didn’t have to wait, since there were a lot of people waiting."
"A**hole winked at me as he was wheeled back on a gurney."
Don't Do This
"I once saw a guy cut himself with a piece of broken glass just to be seen sooner by the nurses during triage."
"I had taken the elevator down from an appointment at one of the hospital's smaller buildings, my young children in tow."
"When the elevator reached the bottom floor, I realized immediately that there was a very purple elderly man lying between us and the exit, surrounded by medical professionals performing CPR on him."
"I closed the elevator door and rode back up before the kids noticed anything and we hung out in the waiting room until the ambulance had pulled away. Got my first CPR certification a few weeks later."
"I was in the emergency waiting room with my Mom."
"I was the one with an emergency and was drowsy the whole time, but I remember that at some point a man was wheeled into the room while making throat noises (think The Grudge) and my Mom took my face in her hands and told me, very calmy and without an inch of panic in her voice, to look through the window and tell her what that weird tree was because she'd never seen one like that (she definitely had)."
"I had no idea what was going on so I kept staring at that tree, and then it was my turn so we left the waiting room."
"Days later she told me that the man who was wheeled into the room had one of his legs hanging on for dear life and that there was blood everywhere on his pants, but also on his clothes."
"He was drunk so he probably had a fight. I hope he's okay now."
"My Mom is the best. She was worried and didn't want me to see this. So she took in the sight but protected me from it. Sometimes, I think we don't deserve Moms."
"My doctor hired her son to be a receptionist."
"He announced a woman’s STD tests in the lobby."
"He didn’t work there long."
"I was sitting in the ER waiting room and this young couple comes in. The man pushing his girlfriend in a wheelchair."
"She’s barely conscious, slumped over and pale."
"As the boyfriend is checking her in, she wakes ups and Exorcist-style projectile vomits onto the floor. Nurses rush her back."
"The boyfriend then sits down and not a minute passes before out of nowhere he does the same!"
"Everyone waiting slapped masks on real quick once that happened."
"This is how zombie apocalypses always start."
An All Beet Diet?
"I went to the ER with a kidney stone and there was an old couple sitting across from me probably in their 60’s or 70’s."
"The lady was bickering to the man complaining about how long they’ve been there. The only thing is that this woman was completely purple."
"Like all of her face and head was this dark purple. She didn’t appear to be in any pain but my f*ck was she ever purple."
The Circle of Life
"Like 20 years ago waiting in the ER I see a guy dressed up as a full monkey being wheeled on a stretcher past a large doorway and then 3 other monkeys following him."
"They were performers from the live Lion King show at Disney Animal Kingdom."
Holiday Cheers 🍻
"I work as a nurse in the emergency, I’ve seen some crazy things."
"Once while security was busy doing two separate take downs, an old guy dressed up like Santa unzipped his backpack and started handing out beers to everyone in the waiting room."
"So what you’re telling me is Santa’s real???"
"Once upon a time I was waiting on news of a friend who'd been in an accident."
"I saw a guy (about early twenties) come in with him mom because he'd fallen off of his roof and dislocated his shoulder. After about an hour of waiting his mom just says 'F*ck it! This is taking too long!' and legit began to Google how to reset a shoulder."
"After about 5 mins of research, she took off her belt, folded it up and told him to bite down on it. She then proceeded to violently shove her son's shoulder back into the socket while he naturally screamed in agony."
"Security and nurses rush over to see what the commotion is and more or less need to pull her off of him. Security sits her down and the nurses take the poor kid and get him treated."
Our Robot Overlords
"I watched a robot filing cabinet press the elevator button and guide itself to a different area of the hospital."
"We have these at my hospital. They even dress them up. Handy little robots help us transport non-emergent meds, lab samples, and equipment."
"I wish our robots could do that."
"Instead, we have 4 delivery robots that all need a person to follow them and put them on and take them off of the elevators."
"Or we could just, y'know, hand the meds to the person and not take 38 minutes to get it there."
True (Toxic) Love
"Girl trying to get admitted to the mental health unit, turns out her boyfriend was a patient. She didn't get admitted, she wasn't happy about it but she left."
"Next thing we know there's a car doing donuts just outside of the ER entrance, she was throwing things out the window and screaming 'Am I crazy enough now?'."
"She ends up driving around to the other side of the hospital and driving right through some sliding glass doors."
"She's lucky she didn't kill someone—another 10 feet and she would have crashed over a railing and into the cafeteria below, where staff was napping on a couch."
"Definitely got carted away, but not to where she wanted to go."
"Thing is her boyfriend wasn't even in that hospital; there's a small mental health inpatient unit, but her boyfriend was in a completely separate mental health facility about 15 km away."
"This was right in the heart of the pandemic, when building materials were really hard to come by, and so the entrance that she drove through ended up being closed for about 6 months."
People going to the hospital are in crisis most of the time.
It's to be expected that the unexpected is bound to happen.
No matter how good it might be, no relationship is 100% perfect 100% of the time.
On the contrary, there are some relationships that seem pretty doomed to fail, and it's disheartening how many signs we can spot of the relationship coming apart, perhaps even before the couple themselves is aware of it.
But as clear as a sign of trouble might be, it can feel impossible to talk to a loved one about it when it's about their relationship.
Redditor AnitaDeckenme123 asked:
"What are some signs that your married friend doesn't have a good marriage?"
All Joking Aside
"Talking s**t about their spouse, even if it’s in a joking way, is a clear sign to me. I went to a bachelor party with a bunch of guys I didn’t know and they spent the entire time b***hing about their wives, and they all sounded miserable."
Desperate to Hide the Truth
"They are withdrawn or secretive. If your friend is suddenly withdrawn or secretive, it may be a sign that they are having problems in their marriage."
Weird Gestures to "Mark Their Territory"
"His hang glider now has a full-sized graphic of his spouse holding the cat on it. And he wasn't asked beforehand."
"They talk about divorce hypothetically."
"Okay, but what if, say, I am watching a lot of true crime murder shows, and he tells me we can just get a divorce instead of me killing him? Does that count? Lol (laughing out loud)."
"When they don’t care what the other person is doing or where they are. Basically, two people who live separate lives and live like roommates."
"My friend never says anything bad about her husband, but she also doesn't speak about him much at all. They’ve been married less than a year, but she's said things like not caring what he's up to a couple of times, and it made me wonder if that was normal in marriage. It feels wrong."
Fighting in Public
"I’ve known two different couples that off and on fought a lot around me at certain points, which isn’t obviously a great sign."
"The fighting stopped, but what I realized after a while that may be worse is that they didn’t interact at all unless absolutely necessary."
"I’m mostly oblivious, so it took my wife pointing it out to notice that both of these couples never really talk to each other besides mandatory stuff like plans or the kids."
"No casual conversations, no eye contact, no touching each other; literally no interaction that’s not necessary for the family to function."
"I suppose it’s better than fighting in public, but it’s kind of weird once you notice it."
Social Media Cover Stories
"If they're plastering social media with how HAPPY they are, and they're SO IN LOVE, and THEY'RE GOING TO BE TOGETHER FOREVER, that's a sure sign that things are in the process of going sideways."
"This confuses me SO much. I have two close friends (women) who have been texting me nonstop about how s**tty their significant others are, like going OFF about them, long voice messages, etc."
"Then between messages, I will open Facebook and see they just made a post about how much they love their partner with a cute picture and tons of hearts and s**t."
"Like... WHAT. I have never called them out, but what the h**l?"
"Gah, my BIL (Brother-in-Law) divorced after a short two-year marriage, and this was the prime indicator of knowing that they were doomed."
"They did this kissy cutesy schmoopy lovey-dovey thing in public, and the worse their relationship got, the more publicly showy they were about showing how in love they were. It was horrific to watch unfold."
Controlling and Jealous Behavior
"In my experience, going out with my old homie that was married, I couldn't ever post us out at the bar or anything. If his wife saw it, she’d blow her top apparently."
"We went out for my 23rd birthday a couple of years ago and merely his elbow was in the video of me sipping on whatever drink I had. In a panic, he urged that I delete it before his wife saw it for whatever reason."
"They’re divorced now."
Mean to Their Partner
"When their identity is the 'person who is mean to their spouse.'"
"I was at a party this weekend and there was a woman who just bad-mouthed her husband and talked about how nice it was to be away from him and the kids for the night. That’s like her shtick… she talks about how her kids and husband are s**tty. It’s such a gross personality, and it’s relatively common. It shouldn’t be common at all."
"They flirt a lot. A lot of unhappily married people I know are quick to flirt with anyone who seems interested because they want to feel that spark again."
"When one of them is out and their spouse does not stop calling them."
"I can't imagine living like that. I took a 10-day road trip to the beach alone, and all my husband asked of me was to keep my location turned on in case of an accident, and text a few times a day so he knew I was alive. That's trust."
The Depression or Glow Up Era
"If they suddenly seem really down on themselves or stop taking care of themselves for seemingly no reason, If their outlook on relationships and/or marriage had changed since getting married, If they have nothing good to say about their partner or just don't talk about them..."
"The list goes on."
"Or reverse, they start glowing up. They lose weight, focus on appearance more, it means they're getting ready to split."
"When my husband died, some friends admitted that they were a little jealous."
"My ex-husband responded, 'One can only hope,' and looked at me when he heard someone’s wife died."
"I would never say this to someone, but I understand the sentiment. I absolutely wished my ex-husband dead a handful of times. It's one of those things where you can't leave because I had very little money of my own and staying meant living with abuse."
Jealous of Working Relationships
"It's bad when you avoid or feel guilty talking about how happy you are or about the nice and thoughtful things that your partner does because you know your friend can't relate."
"Yikes. This is how I am with a friend group of mine. They’re always complaining about their husbands, and I stay silent. I don’t want to rub it in that I love my husband and he’s mostly awesome. In the past two years, one has gotten divorced and another is on her way there."
"It gets weird for me when people are like, 'Must be nice to get away from the wife' if I'm on a work trip or something."
"I don't understand. I sleep better when my wife's next to me, I feel better about the day when I get to see her and talk to her, she makes me smile all the damn time."
"Everybody on the planet is a very distant second on my list of people I want to be around, and even though we do plenty of things separately I don't see time apart as some sort of reprieve from her presence."
Wishing They Were Out
"I got married young and a lot of older guys gave me s**t for it, like they resented their wives for settling down too soon. It upsets me when men talk s**t about their wives. If you hate your wife, then leave, she’s probably better off without you."
"My wife is my best friend. Seven years later, our relationship only grows stronger over time. If you love someone and they love you back, be grateful for that and show it!"
There are many ways to tell that a relationship is in a downward spiral, especially when the relationship is not our own.
But these accounts were intense and ones that we can only hope are less common.
Whenever we feel like something isn't right about our bodies or we're suffering from some kind of medical issues, we want them taken care of straight away.
The problem with that is, that depending on whom we're getting information from, we tend to believe in the initial diagnosis or remedy because we trust the professional sources and we want quick solutions.
But do doctors and health specialists always know what they're talking about?
Unfortunately, that is not always the case.
Strangers online shared their medical horror stories when Redditor Ohyo_Ohyo_Ohyo_Ohyo asked:
"What is the worst health advice you've been given?"
Not doing further research into something that raises eyebrows can be a fatal mistake.
Turns Out It Was Brain Cancer
"i went cross eyed and my primary said 'could be a sinus thing, get some mucinex.'”
"turns out it was glioblastoma."
"Wow, that's an absurdly sh**ty doctor. The same thing happened to my mother and it was quickly determined that it was stage 4 lung cancer. She made it about 3 months after that. She was 48 and I was 18 so the idea that any doctor would ignore that is infuriating to me."
Second Opinion Saves Lives
"My primary doctor kept telling me that nothing was wrong with my thyroid, and I was a hypochondriac."
"I had been told at 12 years old that I had thyroid issues and she told me that doctor was wrong. I had to see a whole other doctor to get a referral to the endocrinologist because she literally refused to refer me to one."
"The endocrinologist said, I had scarring all over my thyroid, I had Hashimoto’s, and my levels were horrible, and she didn’t know what the doctor was talking about. She said she was glad I advocated for myself."
"I was not the recipient of this 'advice' but I had a coworker proudly say how small her new grandchild was when they were born and that her daughter smoked her whole pregnancy to try and have a smaller baby. This was in like 2010, not the 1960s for reference."
"ETA: smoked cigarettes. clarified since that can mean more than one thing."
"Was sick for a year in my late teens. Saw multiple specialists to find the cause. Experimented with diet. Saw a naturopath that did some ‘electric pulse test’ thing that apparently gave indicators of organ health. After a few visits, and months of eating the weirdest sh*t, the test said things were improving (including my gallbladder). Months went on but I was still quite sick. I eventually ended up in hospital and one of my specialists decided to take my appendix out on a whim to see if it might help. Turns out I had something called a ‘grumbling appendix’ and it completely fixed me. Funny thing is, while they were in there, they discovered I was born without a gallbladder."
These are not appropriate remedies.
That's Not How That Works
"When I had an urinary tract infection someone told me to wash my vagina with vinegar..."
"And maybe add some diced onions and tomatoes to make a refreshing Mediterranean salad."
"Just push through whenever you're sick. If you can get to a doctor's office for a doctor's certificate you can get to school/college/work."
"My childhood pediatrician told my parents that 'A sick child never smiles.'”
"I tend to laugh/smile when I’m nervous or uncomfortable to self regulate."
"A doctor once told my parents that a child who isn’t crying can’t really be hurt. Because of that, it took me days to convince my parents to take me to the doctor after I fell on my arm because I wasn’t crying. It turns out it was broken."
"Ignoring" The Problem Isn't A Solution
"A friend of mine was in horrible pain, and was repeatedly told (by multiple doctors) that she should stop complaining and just get used to it because periods are painful and that’s the way it is."
"After being blown off for years, she finally got a doctor to take her pain seriously- and it turned out she had severe endometriosis. The surgeon said it was the worst case he had ever seen in his career, and was horrified that it had gotten so advanced with no one listening to her."
Choking On Blood
"The school nurse telling me to tilt my head back for a bloody nose. That was an awful experience."
"I do like doing this because when I cough up the blood I can pretend I’m in a period drama and I have tuberculosis."
These Redditors discovered that all pain is not necessarily "normal."
"Doctor said certain pain is normal as you get older. Turns out it was cancer."
"That's a fibrous strip of breast tissue, you're too young to have breast cancer."
"Delayed diagnosis by 6 months. I was 31."
Thinking Twice About Back Pain
"I got from a doctor, 'everyone has back pain. There’s nothing wrong with you, just use a heating pad.' It was kidney stones."
"Yikes, I am so sorry."
"I had a kinda similar experience. I went to the doctor for a morning appointment to get some persistent, worsening back pain checked out. Doc asked me where my back pain was, looked me in the eyes and told me I was fine and must have just slept wrong. He shut me down when I tried to advocate for myself."
"That night, I was admitted to the ER due to the crippling pain I was in. Turns out I had a serious kidney infection that was turning septic."
"One of the ER staff who helped me told me if I had waited another 24 hours, my kidneys would have shut down and I very likely would have died from organ failure?!"
"I’ve been dismissed by doctors over and over again in my personal health journey, and it is so frustrating and scary, as they’ve dismissed me for 'being dramatic' when there’s actually something very serious going on with my body."
Vitamin D Overdose
"If you have pale skin, get just a little sunburnt every day so that your skin will 'learn' to get a tan. That’s how everyone else does it."
"My Solar Keratosis skin cancers would beg to disagree."
As much as we want to believe our doctors when they give us a health assessment and assure us we're "fine," you should never ignore your inner voice telling you that something is not right.
Your conscience is there for a reason.
Even if a doctor tells you it's okay to ignore the problem, you should think twice about ignoring your gut feelings.