No one said being a parent was going to be easy. In fact the cold, harsh truth about parenting is that it is by the far the most rewarding and excruciatingly difficult thing one can undertake in life. There is no perfect way or exact right and wrong way but there are some definitive ways that lead to a healthy, stable person and relationship. It's difficult to not lead with emotion but when you're a parent it's often the most productive. There are definitely signs to out for that draw the stark contrast of a good parent and a bad one. It's all about helping the children in the end.
Redditor u/1994spaceodyssey wanted to discuss the light and dark sides of parenting by basking.... What are signs that someone is a good parent vs. bad parent?
You can't avoid....Giphy
Good parent - addresses issues
Bad parent - pretends they don't exist SpiritofGarfield
SELLS MY F**KING ADHD MEDS THEN TELLS THE DOCTOR I GAVE THEM TO MY FRIENDS!! mysteryman151
Explain your actions.
A good parent helps the child to understand what is expected and punishes appropriately. A bad parent only punishes when the child does something wrong without giving the child an understanding of what good behavior is. Morally_Inept
Yep. As a teacher, the difference between those parents with high expectations of their kids (and whose kids correspondingly behave really ethically and considerately of others) and the parents who hold no expectations of their kids out of a misplaced form of love is quite drastic.
Good parents often look quite frazzled at parent-teacher interviews and always sound surprised to hear that their kid is behaving really well and treats other people well; I suspect that their expectations for conduct at home are quite high. Whereas for kids who behave incredibly poorly (bullying, disrespect to people/property), their parents often leap in to defense and sing the praises of their kid's "beautiful nature." I suspect for some of them they lead quite indulgent lives and consequently never really have enough stimulus to arc up at their parents. noestofus
No such thing as perfect.
Having the self awareness to admit that they and their children have flaws. creedbrattonsdad
This continues through adulthood, too. Man, nothing worse than an enabler parent. chocolatespoonz
The amount of respect between child and parent. A parent showing no respect to their child is such a bad sign, same if the kid shows no respect. GamBub
This is SO important. You can demand all the respect you want from your child... but if you don't respect them either, you will have a very poor relationship with your child. BRZORA
Good parents pay attention to their child and actually listen to what the child has to say, and engage with their child. They treat them with respect and how they themselves would like to be treated.
Bad parents treat the child like they are an intrusion into their life, and are rude and entitled towards others (especially to service staff). Stop_the_propaganda
Sorry. Not Sorry.
Bad parents never admit they are wrong and apologies usually are followed by excuses. nesquikthicc
Also the whole "I'm the adult, you are the child" talk. My parents have made countless mistakes and blamed it on my siblings and me but I've never heard them ever say "sorry" to us. I remember at one point my dad was whipping my brother for some reason I don't recall and he accidentally struck my ear. I still haven't heard any apology although it was years ago. Apologies really do make a big difference because it's how we remember you as parents. rbxVexified
I've seen two examples within a few minutes of each other. Two different kids tripped over the same electrical cord that was temporarily on the ground at a store I was shopping at.
Good parent: Child trips, falls, gets hurt. The parent tends to child. Gives love, cuddles, etc. Since the child is clearly still upset, they pick the child up and hug carry them away to finish their shopping. A few moments later I see the child get down and continue walking, hand in hand with the parent, smiling. All is well with the child. Parent took calm control of the situation and used appropriate responses to help their child get through it all.
Bad parent: Child trips, falls, gets hurt. Child gets up, starts crying, parent immediately slaps the crap out of them across the face, berates them for "Tripping over that visible cord!" and "Crying like a damn baby!," then forbids them to cry in public with angry threats of an even bigger ass whooping at home if "One more single tear leaves your eye." To top it all off, they angrily took a toy out of the cart that was intended for the child, and announced it loudly as "A punishment for tripping." Parent then takes their cart, and commands the child to follow silently behind them as they head to check out. Child follows, head down. All is not well with the child. Parent failed at responding in an appropriate manner to the situation and made it worse for their child in the end. FrankenCake
Give them some freedom.
The difference between a good parent and a bad parent is know when to let your kids spread their wings. Helicopter parenting your 19 year old in university isn't going to allow them to be self-sufficient.
There a lots of other very bad parenting issues, but this one is a bit deeper and is more related to a parents unwillingness to let go of their children in a selfish way, rather than using drugs or being in general a crap individual let alone a parent. O_P_S
Rage is Inappropriate.
I have always found it distasteful when a parent screams at or embarrasses their child in public. I recall seeing a kid a few Halloweens ago, probably about 10ish and he was with his mom at the grocery store. It's late afternoon so thinking the kid is a trick or treater, the cashier gives him candy. Mom proceeds to slap the candy out of the kid's hand and screams "HE'S GROUNDED YOU A**HOLE!" Kid looked so humiliated and the mom just stood there glaring at the cashier. Since then, that has been my image of a bad parent. GhostOfHamlet
Good parents talk to their kids on a level they can understand. kat_fud
I need to have an important conversation with my child tonight. Going to steal this! newsreadhjw
If their child is running around screaming. Their reaction would be :
Good : *send the kid to play elsewhere*
Bad : *do nothing and say he's hyperactive anyway* onions_cutting_ninja
Do their wants come before their child's needs? That's a big red flag. llcucf80
I still remember my mother buying herself new custom leather cowboy boots to go dancing in with the entire child support check my dad gave her and we had no food. She called him and said she paid bills with it, needed more and we were to call him if we were hungry.
I told him what she spent it on and every bit of that beating was worth it. She said the money was to support her having to tolerate me. LOL. slightlydramatic
When they put themselves in front of their kids. catcortez
Agreed. This is why I don't want any children. I love my life being about me and I'd have to give that up to have a child. Rachie__Lion
I would imagine a sign of a bad parent is your grown child asking for you to apologize for the things that you did that you never once apologized for (or even acknowledged) and then telling your child this seems more like your problem, I'm not losing any sleep over it, just to have your child get out of your car, walk into their house, block your phone number, and aim to never speak to you again last year
Not that I'd know anything about that, it just seems like something that would probably happen to a bad parent. SoullessCreatures
Mediocre parents never provide an environment where you can learn about yourself and it takes until your 19 and live on your own to realize your favorite food. sassyandsweer789
I've always hated the "don't talk back to me" line. No matter how calmly or quietly I would talk, it was considered disrespectful.
It meant that I could never defend or explain a misunderstanding. And instead I had to shut up and let her yell at me. GoonsAndGhouls
Why so Loud?
If I see you yelling at your kid for making a mistake without telling them what they did wrong and how to do it right. You're a d**k. Dangloyne
When I was 14, my dad asked me to screw in a lightbulb. I wasn't trusted to do ANYTHING growing up, so I had zero confidence in myself and I was sure I would mess it up. I was taught that trying and failing was miles worse than never trying at all, so I cried and said that I didn't know how to screw in a lightbulb. Instead of taking the 2 seconds it would've taken to show me how to do it, he screamed at me for not knowing. He screamed for 5 hours. When he was done screaming about one thing, he'd find something else to scream about. I feel like this is why I'm so scared to try new things. Screwing in a lightbulb is the simplest shit ever. I was too scared to even attempt it. M0u53trap
Precious is Real.
I know a woman who was on WIC but bought a brand new Lexus. I saw the same woman slap her 3 year old son across the face because he wasn't eating his lunch. That's a bad parent. Citizenerased1989
Here's some coin....Giphy
Bad parents make up for whatever upset feelings their child has through monetary value. Forgot a birthday? Just buy them gifts, as long as they arrive it shouldn't be a problem. Had a fight? Offer to take your kid shopping, they'll get over it after that. leflyingbison
Don't be a Bully!
If your kid is genuinely afraid of you, you are a bad parent. Controlling your kid with fear isn't parenting. There are much better ways to discipline your child, it just might take a little longer. theonionenthusiast
100%. That's bullying, not parenting. rock8879
Oh the beginning of the interwebs.
We really thought it wouldn't be much of a fuss.
We definitely did not see what was to come.
Maybe it should've stayed simple.
We'll never know.
Computers rule the world now.
The internet is God.
Let's see where we are in another twenty years.
Those were the days.
Redditor EzucraAaAa wanted to wax nostalgic about the good old days of technology and its humble beginnings.They asked:
"Redditors, what's something the internet was crazy about but is now forgotten?"
I miss the simplicity of not having a thousand apps. I'm simple.
Ah Memories...the messengers aol GIFGiphy
"Search engines before Google existed. Alta Vista, Lycos, Web Crawler..."
"Downloading custom cursors for your computer. I gave my family computer so many viruses back in the '00s trying to click things with a lightsaber."
"Amazing. I had totally forgotten about all the virusy stuff I downloaded to my home computer, purely so the cursor would disappear and reappear. My parents had zero knowhow with computers either, so likely had no idea wtf I was downloading. Cursors were cool though, despite all the malware."
"During the early days of the web, when most websites weren't plastered with advertising... Website view counters."
"Back in the day of counters, one day I went to my website and the counter was in the thousands. I just thought it malfunctioned and ignored it. Years later I learned that my website, which had a MIDI collection, was published in a newspaper in another country. I couldn't say for sure if that was true and whether it aligned with the counter change."
"Yea the internet was simpler too, layout style I mean. I like old style HTML webpage layouts. I personally don’t like hyper modern logos and designs on interfaces. Something about old slightly pixelated designs about them home screens and app logos really made them satisfying. I’ve even went as far as seeing if I could install some extensions that could change the layout of sites, make them feel older, give them that 2000’s html look."
Found ItLooking The Loud House GIF by NickelodeonGiphy
"I used to waste so much time with stumble upon."
What a strange and crazy place the internet was.
notificationBaby Love GIF by LINE FRIENDSGiphy
"Poking on Facebook."
"I had a friend that poked me and I never noticed the notification. He died. I now have this unreturned poke as a reminder that I’ll never be able to poke them back."
"Many flash games are not dead. BEHOLD! The flashpoint project. They have saved thousands of the old flash games in a playable format. Go forth and relive your childhood Also paging u/The_Middler_is_Here"
"Rip flash games... A neat alternative I've found a lot of games on is an application called Flashpoint. Check it out!"
I will find you...
"There was a rhythm game that I don't remember the name of that me and some friends would challenge each other in, and it had the song Guitar vs Piano 2 which introduced me to Envy, who was a pretty big newgrounds artist at the time. I wanna go check out their stuff again now, I'd completely forgot about them till now."
"Forums. There used to be so many, incredibly active and dedicated forums."
"A lot of the forums I visited were ruined by photobucket when they decided they wanted paid a lot of money from their users. So many build threads and tutorials ruined."
"IMDb had the best message boards back in the day. Chatting with your internet friends around the globe about every nuance in your fave movie. Man I miss that. Reddit is close, but nothing beats the olden days."
FunEgg Hatch GIF by The Roku ChannelGiphy
"Do you guys remember those egg things that hatched little creatures after a while? You'd put one on your website and then the artist would update the source url with images of it hatching? There were all kinds of little fun things like that."
And those were the.... DAAAYYYYSSSS!!!!
Not all television and movies are loved by all.
A story and its characters have to appeal to you in order for you to be engaged.
It can take next to nothing for us to lose interest and let the screen go black.
Redditor BarooTangClan wanted to compare notes on all the entertainment we've said "that's enough" to.
"What will make you instantly stop watching a movie or show and why?"
I hate bad acting, writing, storytelling... I hate bad anything.
Stop JumpingFight Scene GIF by Operation FortuneGiphy
"Fight scenes with a million visual cuts. Gives me motion sickness. Contrast the absolutely masterful work in John Wick. long cuts, realistic use of weapons (mostly), 100% skill."
"When the actors whisper the whole movie and you have to crank the volume to hear what's being said - but the soundtrack or some other misc noise starts blaring at a higher volume directly after."
"I basically had to watch Stranger Things up in my attic with the windows and doors closed. I was worried the neighbors would think something was wrong or be annoyed if I watched it downstairs in my single family home. It was ridiculous."
"spice things up"
"Love triangles out of no where in a second or third season to 'spice things up' because studio writers are hacks and their idea of relationship drama is 'potential infidelity' at all times. It's the most tired trope on the go**amn planet and the second I see it rear its head I dip right the hell out."
"The whole concept of a love triangle to begin with an incredibly juvenile. Any healthy functioning adult who found themselves in a love triangle would soon choose to find themselves single."
Save your lips...
"When couples in a movie/show have a fight and one of them instantly goes to a friend and end up kissing her/him after talking for 5 minutes. I cringe so hard i turn it off and never watch it again."
"This pissed me off so much in Manifest. Girl is desperate to get back her ex-fiancé, he finally breaks up with his wife to get back with her and she's like 'nah, it's not fair to your wife, let me do this other dude I just met through a calling and be pissed at you for being jealous.' Michaela was the worst and everyone acted as if she were a saint the entire time."
Talk to MeIn Love Flirt GIF by OriginalsGiphy
"Shows where a single polite conversation could fix everything."
We are going overboard with the witty repartee. Talk normal...
Shut UpScared Home Alone GIF by FreeformGiphy
"Annoying main character, especially if it's a kid."
"Kids who have a quippy, sassy retort to everything, and everyone just kind of crumbles before their wit."
"Shows where kids in high school talk like they are 30 years olds who have done everything, been everywhere, know it all and use a ridiculously flowery and extensive vocabulary in every conversation. Like, have any of these writers ever been to high school? Literally no one talks like that. Even worse is when, in addition to this, all the adults talk normal or are just plain stupid, like so weird parallel universe."
"If the movie is too dark. Not graphic, just literally dark. I lose all sense of intensity in dark scenes and I'm not straining my damn eyes trying to figure out what the hell is going on."
"I've seen about 10 percent of all DC movies recently. I've seen all of the individual films in full, just actually saw 10% of each of them."
"Movies in the late 80s had a lot of dark but you could see the depth because of different shooting techniques. Now you cant see crap because its a CGI fest drowned in black color so you can't see crap because you have no depth in a scene. Compare night scenes in dark alleys in 80's movies and movies now. Utter crap show in the new ones."
Pay Attention Storytellers
"Bad editing would be a big one. A lot of modern horror movies can't help but edit the movies like they're trailers, with added noises to scare the audience because they are afraid the script alone isn't enough to keep people watching."
"I remember this is where the first transformers movie lost me. When the transformers are fighting at the end, it's all a big, jumbled mess of metal and I can barely tell what's going on or who is who."
Dramawill devry soap opera GIF by General HospitalGiphy
"When they go straight to relationship drama right away when it wasn't the selling point of the show."
Do better, Hollywood. It's not that hard.
I fear death.
I wake up in cold sweats dreaming about it.
I think about it in my waking hours.
It's an obsession and clearly, I'm not alone.
But there are more preferred ways to exit.
All we can do is hope to be lucky enough to skip the mercilessly awful.
Please just let me go quick and in my sleep.
RedditorCallMehRiverwanted to hear about all the ways none of us what to leave this life.
"What Do You Think Would Be The Worst Death Imaginable?"
My list of the worst deaths is long. My imagination runs amok.
Trappedseason 6 friends GIFGiphy
"For me? Being trapped in a small tube or cave (like the ones you have to wiggle through) and getting stuck to where you can’t move your arms. And all you can do is wait to die. I’m getting chills just thinking about it."
"The more I hear about cavers that get stuck, the more I think that's a crap way to go."
"There’s a great YouTube channel called Ask a Mortician and this was her #1 worse way to die. I can’t remember the exact details or their names, but two well-known divers went into an underwater cave."
"One of them became entangled and died. Years later, his friend dives back down there to try and retrieve his body, the body itself is rotten and his head comes off and the other guy also becomes tangled and dies. Really sad."
A Long Process
"Believed to be in a coma but coherent through the whole 20 year process until they pull the plug."
"Oh man this just reminded me of a story I read on here about a guy who lost the ability to move and speak but was completely conscious. Had to just lay there and be awake but trapped in a useless body. His family thought he was brain dead or something and he couldn’t communicate to them that he was 'all there.' Crazy"
Slow & Steady
"Being slowly impaled by a growing bamboo. It was a form of torture probably used by the japanese during WW2 against Allied prisoners."
"The scariest part is that once you have symptoms, you 100% will die. A 100% mortality rate has to be a psychological torture in itself."
"Not only that, you feel irrational fear. Your brain is literally being eaten apart by the virus and it fu*ks up everything on it. You can't drink water because it hurts you. You feel dizzy, present a fever, excessively salivate, everything hurts and it only gets worse. I'd rather take a bullet and die when the symptoms are still tolerable."
Why can't we all just go engulfed in calm and quiet?
"Some pulpy sci-fi book I read a while back had one of the best deaths of this real piece of crap bad guy. Left to die in a drowning sea lab under the Antarctic ice, he freezes himself in a state of the art suspended animation pod with some kind cold fusion power source that would keep it running for millions of years."
"But he forgot to inject himself with the drug that would put him to sleep. So basically he is in suspended animation at the bottom of the Antarctic ocean while his mind is perfectly awake and conscious in a near unbreakable machine that won't run out of power for millions of years and nobody knows about it."
"As an RN I have always thought that the worst way to die (natural process) is ALS. Lou Gehrig's Disease."
"My mom and grandmother have Huntington's disease, which is essentially ALS, Alzheimer's, and Dementia combined into one really messed up genetic disease. I have a 50% chance of inheriting it and if I hit 40 and there's still no cure I can't promise I'll feel like continuing on with my life because that disease is absolutely freaking miserable."
"The fact your chromosomes can be so destroyed your body basically lost it's genetic code and with it the ability to make any new cells. It's literally a 'dead man walking' and you slowly rot away in agony. Stuff is so unimaginably f**ked up."
"What's also bad about radiation is that it affects your nerves and brain cells last, so you have everything in place to feel all the pain of the rest of your cells being destroyed."
GooNot Listening Season 2 GIF by The Fresh Prince of Bel-AirGiphy
"I want to believe anything that slowly kills you painfully to be the worst. Such as slowly being crushed or something where the pain is beyond compare and yet not enough to throw you into shock or unconsciousness."
"Alternatively, being rapidly crushed into goo would probably be the least painful. I'm talking one of those massive industrial hammers they use for large steel work. Basically smooshed before the nerve signals make it to the brain."
Now I'll never sleep again without nightmares of death.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
Most Americans think nothing of their humdrum daily activities or amenities available to them.
However, others with a different perspective might romanticize the things that are otherwise commonplace ideas and concepts for US citizens, like going to a diner or riding the school bus.
One Redditor looked to foreigners to hear of their American desires to respond to the following:
"Non-Americans of Reddit: what is an American thing you have always wanted to try?"
The things depicted in film really captivated foreign audiences.
"To visit a diner like in the movies. In the middle of the night, it’s raining and just a few people there with great music from a jukebox."
Iconic Student Transport
"Ride a yellow school bus even if I'm too old. Growing up I always loved seeing them on TV."
Just Like The Ones We Used To Know
"A white Christmas."
"Living in an Australian state where I've never even seen snow in our winter, let alone experiencing that classic Hallmark movie moment of waking up to a street full of it and sitting around a fireplace while opening gifts/preparing a feast."
"Guess it's not strictly American, but the imagery and trope is something I've only really seen from American Films."
They may be ubiquitous for us, but they sure seem to be novel ideas to foreigners.
Let's Be Frank
"One of the hotdogs from those little street cart things."
"A friend of mine from Indonesia said, 'the food chewer in the sink.'"
"Apple Pie made by white-haired grandma, placed near window, who says 'oh dear...' as I levitate towards it."
"Proper tailgating before a ball game, the kind where there's ribs and stuff."
"Deep fried foods at a state fair. I'm from Scotland and we love to deep fry everything and I wanna know if it's just as good or better."
There are places to see!
Places To See
"America’s greatest invention!"
Backpacking In Nature
"I always wanted to hike The Appalachian Trail if that counts. Or see Yellowstone."
"Being able to start a whole new life 'elsewhere' without having to leave my country and going through an arduous immigration process."
My cousin told me she looks forward to visiting a Trader Joe's someday when she visits America for the first time.
Her bucket list option was hardly surprising. My parents used to bring treats from TJs as a novelty souvenir gift item, and my relatives ate it up. Literally.
Let's face it. The snacks at TJs rocks.
Even store locations in New York City would have ridiculously long lines during busy hours because the West-coast-based grocer was a novelty on the East Coast.