Why can't we all be brilliant at making tons of money doing only things that make us happy? And things that are easy? Why do we have to be gifted at things that drive us crazy? It's infuriating but it's life. We all find ourselves in certain situations were we realize... damn at good at this. WHYYYY?!?!?! (Said tons of waiters everywhere!)
WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY PEPPY, SUSAN?!Giphy
Every bloody person comes out of the woodwork for invitation design. Weddings, Engagement parties, Baby Showers, Birthdays... agh.
The worst part is, friends make the worst 'clients' (apostrophes because I would never charge them).
'I love it! But can you make it a bit more peppy?' Well, what do you mean by peppy?! Font? Color? I don't know what you don't like if you can't tell me. ceeelljay
Keep it Smooth...
Taping and mudding drywall.
nice. It takes practice. Less is more is the best advice. Use the green first, and less is more. The heavy has more moisture and shrinks down, but it is strong. Keep it smooth as possible. The second and third coats are lightweight. Again, less is more. Also, run the knife over the the first coat before the next (2-3) coats to knock down any boogers.
Don't worry about inconsistencies with the lightweight because it sands down easily (if you suck at it). If you can work the knives in order to feather the outer edges you should be good. It's possible to finish with very minimal sanding. Sometimes a wet sponge is good enough to eliminate dust. Practice makes perfect; I still hate it. jackofallwagons
Working as a programmer. I'm good at it, it's lucrative, but after 15 years I'm so tired of it. I just want to make enough money so I can do something else. triple_verbosity
I think it depends what you are making. If you are programming in a big team and have no say over anything, for me I would burn right out. But working on my own smaller projects within a business makes me feel really fulfilled, even if all I made was some minor efficiency. MrStump
I just wish I was doing anything else.
I've been in retail for the better part of my adult life. I'm pretty decent, can get customers to where they need to be, and just overall make sure someone is happy with their purchases.
I just wish I was doing anything else.
I just don't know what else I can go and do. I don't have any degrees, and need money to live, so I just keep plodding along at the safe comfortable job. l1vewire
Me either Janet, me either.Giphy
Public Speaking. I always get told how calm and collected I am, that I am clear and good at making it interesting, easy-going and interactive.
Inside I am screaming, feel like I am going to puke, panicked, absolutely sure I have a giant stain on my shirt or booger hanging out, adrenaline rushing that makes me feel like I am going to collapse the second I am off stage. I hate hate hate it!
So I get selected almost every time because, "You're so good at it, I would be a total mess up there, I don't know you do it!" Me either Janet, me either. Wife-B-Gone
Backstroke. I'm apparently fast at it, but it's still "nasal destruction." nickwantsacake283
I just hate how blind you are, watching the ceiling scroll by, hoping to catch a glimpse of the flags soon. My high school had 25 yard pools. That was bearable, but the 50 meter pools are like you're lost in the abyss. softwaremommy
Customer support. Help me! sarcatsticks
Same. My coworkers have always told me I have the best customer service but I absolutely despise it and get anxiety just knowing I have to speak to these people. kimchiblues
Firing people. I've had to terminate people in multiple jobs (usually when I'm the new person brought in to turn things around).
The last time I had to tell someone, the HR VP who was in the room as well told me "wow you are really good at this. We should have you do a video training on how to let people go."
Btw if you have to fire someone (aside from a really bad reason like theft etc), get them a severance, don't fight their unemployment claim, and cover their healthcare for a few months. Not every person works out for a job and these things make landing in their feet much easier. Cardsfan961
Mediating between people who can't get along. It is so damn annoying and I haaaate it, turns I get stuck doing it all the time at work. Ugh, just thinking about it is stressing me out. Wishyouamerry
It's nice to know I'm not the only one. Recently informed a bunch of people I'm going to start billing them. SweetPotatoFamished
Fixing computers. Sad part is I do this for a living. I love everything about computers, networking, etc. But when I get a phone call from an inept user who makes triple my salary, or an older relative calls for "computer help," the eye rolls ensue and the thoughts of hanging up kick in. Tucker727
Ever learn a fun fact that, well, isn't quite so fun? You know, something that you wish you could unread so it isn't constantly in your head after you learn it? Here's a list of the weirdest ones, courtesy of Reddit. Read at your own risk.u/LysDesTenebres
asked:What is your most disturbing fun fact?
Prairie dog mothers guard their young in a group because if left alone, mothers will eat the competing young so that their children don't have to share as much food.
Sh*t, hamsters will eat their whole litter themselves just so they don't have to be bothered with motherhood. Rodents are brutal.
There HAS to be a better way.Giphy
Falcon breeders let birds f*ck their heads.
Many bird species acquire their sexuality through sexual imprinting. They are interested in partners who look similar to their parents. If they are raised by a human instead, they will be sexually attracted to humans, but not their own species.
When a pregnant woman dies, relaxation of muscles and buildup of gasses mean the fetus is sometimes expelled from the body a few days after death. Sometimes at speed.
That's one way to celebrate.
A gorilla AGGRESSIVELY masturbates after winning a fight with another gorilla
With just their thumb and forefinger, because gorillas have the smallest penises of all primates.
Rabbits are designed to eat continuously. They need their body volume in dry roughage daily, or their GI system shuts down. If a rabbit doesn't eat for 12 hours, it's an emergency, and they must be force fed. At 24 hours they go into GI stasis, and even with intervention they can die.
Female spotted* hyenas have a 'pseudo-penis'.
Yes, they give birth through it.
Yes, that's exactly as painful and dangerous as it sounds.
The location of the serial killer H.H. Holmes' infamous 'Murder Castle', located at 63rd and Wallace St in the Englewood neighborhood of Chicago, is now a US Post Office.
A male blue whale ejaculates roundabout 10 litres of semen at a time, most of which goes into the sea.
most of which goes into the sea
And you wonder why the sea tastes so salty...
Do you ever do that thing where you drop insane life facts about yourself, and then never mention it again? I know I sure do. We all have those weird facts about ourselves that no one believes. Here are some of the best ones.
u/catbraithwaite asked: What are people shocked to learn about you?
Thank goodness for bendy bones.
That as a 1-2 year old I ran at a window, shoved the screen out, and fell two stories onto a bed of rocks head first.
Doc said the only reason I survived was because I was still young enough for my bones to bend rather than break so my neck didn't snap. I lost a tooth though.
That's a colorful history.Giphy
I'm a quadruplet. It's an interesting life.
My mom is 60 and my dad is like 75 I think. Before all of us he married and divorced the same woman twice, all before he met my mom. I also have a step-brother from my dads first marriage. Another interesting tidbit for all of you nice people.
I have the opposite problem...
Nobody believes I'm not bisexual or gay, whenever they first meet me. Seriously, the amount of people that have insisted I am gay is absurd. I'm not sure what exactly in my demeanor gives the impression that I'm gay, but it is what it is.
It's more common than you think.
I'm left handed. Everyone is always surprised at the fact that I'm left handed, even if I've known the person for years.
Most of the time, I just casually bring up the fact that I am and people are so surprised. Sometimes, people actually notice it and exclaim: 'You're left handed?!?' Yes buddy, I'm left handed...
There's no rush.Giphy
The fact that I never kissed a girl. Really, every time I tell people I never had a girlfriend they say "it's okay, you are just 19, your moment will come", but when I say I never kissed a girl everyone remains shocked af. I don't know why.
I hear ya. 25, never had a boyfriend or kissed anyone. Co-workers were shocked and asked me why and I said I was never really interested in putting myself out there and am just trying to concentrate on my career at the moment. They usually follow up with the usual "you better find someone fast! Pregnancy gets tougher when you're older!"
People always assume I want kids. And even if I want kids I still won't have them unless I'm financially, emotionally, and mentally stable.
Pork products aren't for everyone.
I don't like bacon. I tried it many times and I just don't like it.
My first instinct was to not like you, but then I realized that your dislike means more bacon for me, so you're cool.
That I'm in my final year of college/university, my country has its racist aspects as it is a very bicultural/diverse country, as people of my ethnicity not considered exactly "intelligent" or become very successful here.
When people ask "oh, what do you study?" And I say "law and criminal justice" the look on their faces says it all. "Oh, really?! Interesting, first year?" "Fourth year" and then their demeanor changes rapidly.
What an exchange.Giphy
I'm a 46 year old virgin.
I loved your movie.
I'm 6 years older than that guy, it's disconcerting.
That I'm older than they think I am.
I'm almost 30, but constantly get told by strangers that I look like I'm 15-18.
It's okay sometimes, but getting ID'd for every little thing is super annoying. Particularly since I'm pretty certain I don't look like a child anymore.
I could understand if I was acting like a child and dressed like one, but I was buying some groceries the other day and talking to the cashier about Christmas shopping and why it sucks, how I think I'll just get everyone stuff from the Pound shop because my gas bills are too high in winter.
She gave me the weirdest look and said,
"Doesn't your mother deal with that stuff? You should just be worrying about school right?"
Explaining to her that I was almost 30 was a painful experience, she refused to believe me till I showed her my ID.
This happens far too often.
I have a disability to my arms (basically look like a T-Rex: Thalidomide) but I can drive with my feet and have had a license for 15 years.
This is the first that I found to be surprising, mostly because it sounds interesting. I hope you don't mind my asking, but how do you have it set up?
Hi, no I don't mind at all. It's an automatic so right foot controls the pedals. Left foot goes into a stirrup attached to a disk on the floor that turns the wheel.
The truth can be deceiving, and sometimes downright surprising. Some of life's truths sound like they can't possibly be fact, even when we're presented with evidence that they are.
Reddit user u/logic10101 asked:
you can slice off a fruit tree branch (scion) wrap it onto another fruit tree that has the end of its branch cut off so the exposed parts touch, and that tree will then grow the fruit as well as its original fruit. The record for this type of 'FrankenTree' is about 40 different varieties of fruits growing on a single tree
Netflix was founded before Google.
Blockbuster could've bought Netflix for $50 million.
When someone gets a kidney transplant they usually leave their original kidney in their body and put the 3rd kidney in the pelvis.
The reason we don't have a lot of mummies is because the Victorians ate them all.
I listened to a great podcast on this the other day. Turns out they had all heard about this great Persian medicine called mumiya, which was essentially bitumen. Egyptians used it during the embalming process, which is where we get the word mummy. Through a bit of mistranslation, Victorian era people though the medicine was actually mummy parts.
It also went into great detail on how executioners had a huge side gig selling human body parts and fat for use in crackpot medicine.
Martin Luther King, Jr. was born in the same year as Anne Frank.
There's a planet entirely populated by robots in our solar system.
Well, it's probably only populated by robots. But also maybe some microbes that latched onto the robots before they left Earth. And also maybe, juuust maybe, some microbes living in plumes beneath the planet's surface that we haven't found yet.
Frogs swallow their food by pushing their food down their throat with their eyeballs.
Bananas are berries, but strawberries are not.
Oxford University is older than the Aztec Empire.
Cleopatra lived closer to the invention of the iPhone than she did to the building of the Great Pyramid.
You ever wish you could unlearn something? Same. Like, we REALLY didn't want to know about reproductive systems, the secret lives of our parents, or that man-eating land fish that was running around Central Park (look it up). All in all, knowledge is power, but with great power comes great responsibility.
u/MatthewMcG27 asked: What is one fact you learned that you wish you hadn't?
To sneeze or not to sneeze.
If you sneeze hard enough, you can fracture a rib. But try to suppress a sneeze and you might rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck.
That poor woman gave birth naturally with no epidural (low white cell count) and a broken rib. She is the toughest person I know.
Get wrecked, Redditors.Giphy
There's a certain species of beetle where the male drills a hole into the female with his penis to create a vagina in order to reproduce.
There's a species of Redditor that does this with anything they find lying around the house.
Uhhhhhhhh how did they figure that one out?
If you are hung upside down and sawed in half (crotch to head), you wouldn't die until the saw hit your lungs.
Thanks for that mental image.
The human anus can expand to 8-9". Raccoons can get into a hole 6" across.
The reason we know this is because of torture.
Not even gonna look that one up.
I wish I'd never seen that picture of what the nerves in a horse's hoof looks like. Also that picture of what newborn horse hooves look like.
Gives me the wibblies just thinking about it.
Cats and dogs that are white and have blue eyes are almost certainly deaf.
Definitely not the worst fact that'll be in this thread, but just depressing whenever you see a cute kitty or puppy, they got a s**t hand of recessive genes and are most likely totally deaf.
That most people alive will be forgotten forever within a couple of generations, four at most. That means you, me, your friends, lovers... everyone. Coco is a kids movie but it portrayed this concept quite beautifully IMO.
Humans have been anatomically modern, meaning our bodies and minds have been the same, for about 300,000 years.
That means for 98% of human history, individual names are completely lost to us.
The rest have been lost forever.
Great, never touching food again.
I had to take a FDA course on food prep to manage a smoked jerky & cheese off-shoot at the winery I worked at and now I know how impossible it is to not contaminate food.
And "impossible" doesn't seem like a strong enough word here. It's great that our internal protection systems are so good and capable of handling such a diverse range of contaminants because everything is constantly being contaminated. And while one person could be diligent and attentive enough to not contaminate their specific area, the likelihood that everyone involved in the processes to make all the various ingredients one uses is...it's not happening.
A not-so-fun fact.
That when they take your intestines out for a surgery they wiggle around so they have to have special hooks to hang them on. Also the surgeons just stuff your entrails back in your body and they move themselves into place.
That's just disappointing.Giphy
The Riverdance Troupe dances to a tap track. When you see them lives, you're hearing the recording...not their actual taps. When I heard that, basically my whole world fell apart.
Within three days of death, the enzymes from your digestive system begin to digest your body.
I REALLY didn't want to think about that.
We only know what 15% of the universe is made of. We use the term Dark Matter for 85% of the universe's mass, but we really only have guesses as to what it is.
That real Parmesan cheese isn't vegetarian. I'm not a vegetarian, but my sister has been for 20+ years and my mother has threatened to disown me if I tell her because my sister LOVES Italian food. I'm not good with secrets!
Darn, we're old.
The decade of 2010s is almost at the end.
There are kids born on/after 9/11 that will become adults this year.