Over the past few years, but especially the past few months the video parade of Karens has been non-stop. The phrase-which is now an infamous part of our lexicon-labels a person due to their hideous public behavior. Too many moms (and dads) seem to believe the world is beholden to them and they let the world know it with each breath they take. These people seem to have no shame with such actions, but the people who know them and have to claim them as a loved are embarrassed and cloaked in shame. Children of these people are especially affected.
Redditor u/Matster04 wanted the children of "Karens" to share how they tend to the day to days with their moms by asking.... Children of "karens", what is it like to be their child?Professionals
Karen GIF by moodman
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I got used to embarrassment at a young age so that a pro I guess. Once my mom hit someone in a paint store cause they ask her to wear a mask.
She also doesn't allow me to wear mask and crap.
Now I Know....
Not only is this actually my mother's name, it accurately describes her personality. Growing up I didn't realize how self-centered she was. She was my mom and that's all I knew. As an adult I can't even get along with her. She's always got to be number one in the room. If she's not the center of attention and she's not catered to, there is an impending shit fit coming. She shuns blame for anything she does wrong. It's always someone else's fault.
Looking back I understand why things were the way they were. Why she didn't have friends. Why she couldn't keep a job very long. I understand now that she knows how to stab someone in the back with a smile on her face, and that's why I never knew any better as a kid. It looked polite to me when I was little, but now I know it was all rude as hell.
Not with my Energy
When I was young, I hated it. She would yell and throw fits in public when she didn't get her way. As an adult I think its made me way too easy going. I remember the anxiety and anger that she would exude. It was exhausting. So now I am careful with who I keep around in my life as to protect my energy. I try not to worry about things I cant control. And I have respect and empathy for people.
Woe is her....
Karen Narc GIF by MOODMAN
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Yeah my mom used to cry and stuff and about how she didn't know how we'd make rent and so on. As a kid, I'd be like, "Don't cry mom, you can use my college fund." Lol, there never was one-- she made it up because???
My mom "enjoys" (her words) being outraged and upset. It energizes her. But it exhausts me. Her whole attitude exhausts me. It's always a, "woe is me. Screw it, if I can't be a good example I'll be a terrible warning."
Makes me so disappointed in her. Took me a long time though! I came to the realization she did the best she could-- her best just sucks. But oh well, I have more to be grateful for than to wallow in.
Straight Up!
My mom's name is also Karen and she acted and still acts exactly like this, down to never being able to keep a job a long time. I'm pretty sure she's a straight up narcissist, and it makes having a relationship with her extremely difficult. I used to hate going out with her when I was a kid (and honestly still do), because things would get so humiliating. She'd complain about things, make a scene, raise her voice. It was mortifying.
Check Please
My dad is bad at restaurants, he'd always find a way to complain about something and it was super uncomfortable, so me and all my siblings are like you and way too forgiving in those settings. Oh, I ordered a steak but you served me an old car tire filled with razor blades? No worries, mistakes happen, this is basically the same thing.
At the Drive-Thru....
Growing up it was super embarrassing. We lived in a small town, so while she's having a fit at some poor grocery store kid because they're out of basil there is a REALLY high chance I would run into someone I knew from school.
Now I am almost always nice to service people. I think it's a combination of being a normal person with sense, having seen how outrageous my mom came across, and I've worked in call center management, so seeing or hearing people do it to our agents adds a ton of empathy.
The one thing that's hard is a major part of her Karen-thing was that everything was a conspiracy against her. There's a line at a drive thru? Grand conspiracy against her. Sometimes I find myself falling into that trap (never to the degree she would, but to some degree of 'woe is me') and I have to actively make myself knock it off and calm down.
Dump the Sauce on him....
Water Douse GIF
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One time a family friend came to the city I was living in and asked me to come join their family for dinner - their treat.
The dad was always a bit of a male Karen but was really on it from the moment we were seated. Ordered for everyone. Ordered off menu.
At one point he ordered roast chicken and an Alfredo pasta on the side. The waiter said they didn't have Alfredo on the menu and his response was "you have cheese? You have cream? You have butter? Then make a freaking Alfredo pasta like a real freaking restaurant"
I slipped away to the restroom and said the same to the waiter and slipped him a 20 and he told me "your mom (actually the mom of the family friends family) already came by and did the same thing. You're good but thanks".
For a 20!
Any time we go out to eat, I always immediately excuse myself to the ladies room but instead find our server. I prepare them for what might happen and apologize profusely. Then go ahead and hand them a 20 dollar bill and tell them I will do my best to keep her contained.
Edit: Thanks for the gold and love! In response to some comments, no she doesn't know that I do this. And she wouldn't care (or change) if she did. For the tirades I fail to prevent, I don't sit idly by when she goes off - I do everything I can to shut her up. My favorite is to interrupt her and say something along the lines of "You need to shut up. I really don't want to eat spit tonight."
They just don't care....
new girl facepalm GIF by HULU
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She showed up at my house with my step dad to get their kayaks out of my garage 3 days after he tested positive for Covid and was showing symptoms. Not only do I have a high risk husband, but also have a 22 month old and was babysitting my 14 month old niece.
Who Cares?!
I remember trying to point out that she was making a scene and I was embarrassed.
"I don't care what people think, this is about the principle of (whatever bull she was upset about that time)"
Ok but I care what people think, I hate confrontation and just want to go home. Why does every outing have to turn into some self-righteous crusade again perceived injustices toward you?
Poor Blokes....
So Sorry GIF by memecandy
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I was a server at a fancy steak house. This was not uncommon. I probably received a Karen mercy tip once a month. Always from an embarrassed son or just whipped husband. They were correct. EVERY TIME. I would put on a show for them. I just had to deal with her for a couple of hours. Those poor blokes had a lifetime.
The Dealers....
My mom wasn't the worst Karen, but I think my least favorite thing was when she would try and put it on me to go complain or make a big deal out of something. Most of the time I just wouldn't, doesn't help that I am/was always a pretty shy kid. Now whenever she has to deal with customer service I sometime end up taking the call over to figure it out and she is always like "wow how are you so good at dealing with them" and internally Im thinking, its called treating them with some level of respect and being polite, which makes people more likely to want to help you, instead of get rid of you. But I always tell her some BS instead.
She's not Me.
I didn't realize my mom was a Karen until after I left home for college. Now I can't stand to be around her, it's just exhausting because you never know what's going to set her off. Sometimes I have to look myself in the mirror and say "you are not your mother" to remind myself that I'm a good person after a personal attack from her.
EVIL!
i am in hell GIF
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Literal hell. she was an emotionally abusive monster at home, would complain and moan and cry 24/7 about how everyone was out to get her and she was so perfect, why did no one respect her. We don't speak anymore; best decision I ever made. I've made it my life's mission to be nothing like her.
"dad, it's fixed"
My dad. At one point he was yelling into the telephone about an internet problem. I couldn't take it anymore. I called them myself, while he was still yelling. I got through the waiting line, talked with a support employee, got the problem fixed. I hung up, walked to him to find him still yelling at that poor customer support person. I told him "dad, it's fixed".
The yelling stopped. He looked at me in amazement. He checked the computer, we had internet again. He asked me how. I just told him "maybe if you weren't busy yelling to the customer support and just be polite they could actually help you".
To my amazement he changed his ways after that. I've never heard him yell at customer support anymore.
Carry $$$....
My mom was a complete Karen. I used to carry cash with me to tip waitstaff because 95% she would leave extremely paltry tips if any tip at all.
You tend to compensate as the child of an abusive narcissistic parent. I'd carry cash with me for tips. I'd always make sure I had another way home if she offered to drive. I never had to do anything like that with my dad but then he was sane.
Learning in Stages....
When you're very young (0 to 5 yrs), you have no idea. Once you're old enough to realize it (7 to 10ish), you get super embarrassed. When you're around the age of going through puberty, you start to apologize to people for your mom or dad's behavior.
Then, FINALLY, you are old enough to get away (14 to 18) and if you're lucky, you have a lot of excuses to not go places with them - practices, games, rehearsals, concerts, homework, a job.... and so on.
When you're an adult, if you have the balls to do so, you start to point out to them in the moment how absurd and ridiculous they are acting and they learn to not act that way around you... but they still do it when you're not around. You're not around a lot.
Chicken Lady
I grew up pretty poor. My mom was what I like to call Trailer Park Karen (we lived in a trailer). I remember we were in a KFC and she asked how much a bucket of chicken was. The girl told her and mom starts yelling about how that's ridiculous and she can do better at Albertson's and she stormed out.
The Good Girl....
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My mom was kind of anti-Karen; every now and then, she would ask to speak to the manager and then commend the employee and say that they should be given a raise. Good times. Stuff like that is probably why I make very few enemies. Only 1 in my entire life.
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The excuses people use to dismiss behavior range from mundane and meaningless to the sort of leaps normally reserved for kangaroos and Olympians. It's sometimes amazing that these excuses work - but they do.
Some of them work so well that they're just sort of "accepted." That, obviously, kind of sucks and is something we should avoid - so let's talk about 'em.
Can't swerve around what you don't see, ya know?
Reddit user TMTtasmachine asked:
What's the biggest excuse used for a-hole behavior that shouldn't be accepted as much as it is?
... and away we go.
Jerk Privileges
" 'That's just how they are.' "
"One of the biggest enablers for tantrum throwing, bullying, etc. is that they get treated with kid gloves to avoid dealing with them." - alexrt87
"Oh my God you hit the nail on the head. Whenever someone says 'that's just the way they are' I say:"
" 'Yes, that's the point! Glad you noticed too! Now is it okey-doke for them to be jerks they have special jerk privileges? Or maybe they are just people and should treat everyone else as such?' " - notatrumpchump
"It depends on how it's said."
"People are the way that they are, and you shouldn't be surprised when they continue to be that way."
"This, obviously, doesn't excuse it - but people also shouldn't be surprised when a bad person continues to make bad decisions. Neither should we waste space in our minds being bothered by it." - unlawfulfoxy
Harassment Isn't Humor
season 2 lol GIF by ShamelessGiphy" 'It's just a joke, bro.' Harassing people isn't humor." - loading__99
"Schrödinger's Douchebag"
"A guy who says/does offensive things and decides whether he was joking based on the reaction of people around him." - Eatsleeptren
"Dude, legit had someone come up to me and start shouting in my face, calling me Madison, pretending I was cheating on him. Literally the most crowded location outside a theater, everyone staring at us, looking at me like I was some horrible cheater while I was out with my then fiancé."
"I started hyperventilating, my fiancé nearly decked the dude, and then someone shouts 'CUT' like this is some big 'YOU'RE ON CANDID CAMERA' moment and everything's supposed to be okay."
"I burst into tears."
"It was the most humiliating moment of my life, and thank god my then fiancé, now husband is not the type to overreact or jump to conclusions, or be abusive. Imagine how bad that could have been for someone with an angry or abusive partner."
"Prank videos are a plague on the internet and there is a REASON so many of them are fake, or involve actors." - Darkovika
Stay Sober, Then!
Drunk Drinking Beer GIFGiphy" 'I was drunk / high / etc.' "
"Then don't drink?! Stay sober if you can't NOT be an a**hole!" - BasedBenjamin
"Alternately, I hear a lot of 'I'm a happy drunk!' "
"Yeah, according to your drunk a$s. That doesn't mean you're not an ahole. Not remembering is not an excuse either." - PepeBabinski
"I was that guy. I swore I was a 'happy drunk' - and I was. It was everyone ELSE who was miserable while I was happy."
"I was also loud, obnoxious, and I wouldn't remember sh*t the next day."
"Quitting drinking has been one of my best choices of my life." - TTungsteNN
"Help"
new girl coach GIFGiphy" 'I'm just trying to help you' " - Miserable-Air1234
"Every time I've heard this, they're manipulating me while helping only themselves." - mykittenfarts
"My Mom to a T. Everything she does is better than anyone else's and she always gets pissed that people don't praise her for 'helping.' "
"She's now a certified (by herself) psychic and I have come to the conclusion that she's not a covert narcissist but an obvious one. I really wish I was joking." - Silent_Discussion657
Parenting Problems
Leave Me Alone Run GIF by TLC EuropeGiphy"Any variation of 'I'm a Mother/parent.' "
"Had some lady cut me in line at a coffee shop and she hit me with 'I'm a single Mom of 3!' as her excuse."
"Ok? And? I was still here first." - maid-for-hire
"I'm a single mom and I f*cking haaaate when other single moms/parents pull that sh*t to get special treatment."
"Last week, I was having a rough morning, my kid was being difficult, and I was running late. I was rude to a cashier over a minor inconvenience."
"Not only did I apologize for my shitty behavior, I wrote corporate to let them know how professional and patient she was while I acted like a f*cking toddler."
"Was being a parent part of the reason I was frustrated? Absolutely. Was it an excuse for that behavior? HELL no."
"I acted like a b*tch, and I called myself out, and I apologized. I still feel bad about that - I rarely let things get to me to the point I snap at others." - ClusterfckyShtshow
"Wow. I'm a Mom as well and tired but it doesn't give anyone a right to use it as some sort of ploy to get away with stuff."
"Like, mice become Moms about 12 times a year. You're not special 🤣" - SpoonLoops
Believing Your Boss
The Office Monday GIF by 20th Century Fox Home EntertainmentGiphy"I had a boss say some really racist sh*t around me one day and the next day, out of nowhere, he says:"
" 'Don't believe half the things that come out of my mouth!' "
"It was not really an excuse, more like trying to cover for himself after the fact, but still stuck with me." - sirlongbottom441
"Report them to HR. Seriously." - kokichi--ouma
"Looking past the racist stuff for a bit, that's not a very encouraging thing to hear from a boss…" - WonderfulBlackberry9
Bad Day Again
Bad Day Reaction GIF by Schitt's CreekGiphy" 'I'm having a bad day/week' "
"Okay, so you decide everybody that you interact with deserves the same fate? Get out of here, dude." - myordinaryexistence
"We all got stress, don't take it out on me. I get some people have stress bad enough for it to be passable every once and a while (family member passing, etc) but general, stress should not lead to you being a jerk to me." - willsimpforfree
"Damn, I'm definitely guilty of this. Usually I remember to apologize after but at this point I've learned to just avoid the situation in the first place by minimizing my interaction with people if I'm in a shitty mood." - nozzzrul
"Reminds me of when that White boy went on a murder rampage and killed a bunch of Asian women & that a-hole sheriff gave a press conference telling the media that the 'poor boy had a bad day.' "
"My idea of a bad day involves going home after a rough day at work and just staying in the house."
"Apparently, I should change my ethnicity from Asian to White and go on a murder rampage, see if my @ss gets a sympathetic sheriff to say on my behalf that I had 'a bad day.' " - kingkazul400
It's Not An Excuse
Season 2 Reaction GIF by FriendsGiphy"This won't go down well, but using depression as an excuse. As someone who suffers from it, it's still not ok to treat others like sh*t" - Rainbowwallstickers
"Could not agree enough. My partner has a 'friend' who treats everyone like sh*t all the time, has no consideration for others and openly mocks people in public."
"She gets so much grace from those around her under the guise of her 'mental health.' It's so infuriating watching an adult woman never have to take responsibility for her actions." - 34boor
"I get there are some things you can't control, but you are still responsible for keeping that sh*t in check and if you're aware of your mental illness, you should be aware of how you approach people and situations."
"I'll admit I used to be guilty of using my mental illness to be an @ss, but now I'm trying to better myself" - VeeSquibbles
Florida Gonna Florida
Looney Tunes Florida GIFGiphy"People are letting Florida off the hook way too damn much. And I live in Florida."
"Just because it's hilarious doesn't mean it isn't still completely f*cked up." - AlphaWhiskeyOscar
"The phrase 'Florida Man' is almost always followed some heinous way a Floridian is being an a$$hole." - PepeBabinski
"I'm also originally from Florida, and that state has serious problems. We need to pay attention to it." - [Reddit]
Moment of honesty ... as a Floridian ... yeaaaah, I'm gonna have to agree with that last one.