WARNING: the following article contains discussion of suicide/self-harm
As much as many parents try to shield their kids from the dangers of society, children inevitably witness the very things parents protect them from seeing.
Although children are unable to process many of the problems they may witness at any given time, the unsettling visuals stay with them.
Eventually, in adulthood, they experience an epiphany about the past.
Curious to hear about horrific experiences from strangers online, Redditor titanic_trash asked:
"What’s something f'ked up you witnessed as a child that you were oblivious to until you grew up?"
Although they may never volunteer information, many families have skeletons in the closet.
Mom's Mental Condition
"When I was 5 or 6, my mom used to never want to get out of bed and just kept saying she was sick. Finally, my stepdad took her to a hospital, where she stayed for nearly a month. I thought it was so cool that her hospital let her do arts and crafts all the time, plus she got better and started doing arts and crafts with me too when she got home. I remember telling her that I wished I could go to the hospital and draw all day."
"She sat me down and told me that she hoped I would never get sick like she did, but if I do, there's nothing wrong with needing help to get better, even if you have to go somewhere for a little while to do it."
"It wasn't until I was probably 12 or 13 and didn't want to get out of bed myself that it clicked that the hospital she had gone to was a mental health hospital. But because of her, I've never felt shame about needing therapy when things are getting bad, or even just to maintain a healthy mindset."
– kenda1l
The Drunk Uncle
"I wasn't a child but when I was in college I lived with my uncle Tom, who was only 4 years older than me. He used to come home from work with a six pack of beer and would crack one open as he walked in the door and offer me one."
"15 years later, just before he died a meth addict, we talked about the good 'ol days when we lived together. He confessed to me that after work he would but a six pack and a 40 oz beer. He would drink the entire 40 oz bottle and then walk into the house like he was just cracking his first can of beer. That always stuck with me."
– Loggerdon
Deep Depression
"My mom attempting suicide in front of me on more than one occasion, as well as being in the car as my dad drove her to the hospital after said suicide attempts."
– Resident-Mention-481
Lighting Up
"My mom used to let me watch cartoons late at night in her room as long as I didn’t turn around or be too loud. I would always hear her flicking a lighter but didn’t think too much about it. Years later I found out she was smoking meth right behind me and blowing it out the window, she would use me as a excuse as to why she was awake if my step dad woke up and caught her."
– dirtydandii
Major Withdrawals
"My uncle withdrawing from drugs. He was always the fun loud crazy uncle. I was around 10 and my mom and I came home from somewhere and when we pulled up he was sitting outside and said he needed a place to stay."
"My mom had to work the next day and he and I were both hanging out at the house and I could tell he didn't feel well and was dry heaving. It was really scary."
"I asked him if I should call 911 and he said no he'd be okay. I had no idea he had drug problems until I became an adult. He passed away not too long ago from liver failure."
– CoolHipLady
Complimentary Grandma
"When I was probably around 4-6 years old I used walk my grandma up stairs at her house every time we visited. She said she liked holding my hand. When I went to her room she’d always compliment my shirts and be like 'what’s this on your shirt here called?'”
"And I’d say 'Oh that’s Winnie the poo' Or whatever I was wearing. And she’d go on to tell me stories about the character or talk a bit about it."
"When I was 16 I learned she’d been blind for years. She’d ask me to hold her hand up the stairs so that I could help guide her to her room. She’d ask what was on my shirt bc she could feel a pattern on it."
"Idk why but that kind of made me feel both sad and very loved? Like she couldn’t see anymore but she never wanted to let me worry about it and still managed to compliment what I was wearing all the time. She passed away while I was still very young but those memories stuck like glue."
"Edit: Waking to everyone’s replies on this post was so nice! Thanks everyone for all the love for grandma! _. I’m glad people found this post heartwarming in the midst of the rest of this thread."
"I guess I found it f'ked up just bc while she was alive I thought I would have wanted to know bc there were times where I (as a 5 year old) would think to myself 'man’s grandma always forgets who Mickey is' LOL And when I later found out I remember thinking 'oh god I’m such an idiot' or felt bad that I thought she just had bad memory or something."
"My immediate thought was I wish I would have known so I could have given her even more love. But as I got older (almost 30 now) I realized it probably made her really happy to hangout with someone for a while who didn’t ever think of the disability and just spent time with her. So yeah, thank you again, I appreciate all the awards too I know those cost money so wow, thank you!"
– ADirtyCasual
Predatory Grandfather
"I have a big family (aunts uncles cousins ext) and whenever a reunion came around all the adults told us not to be alone with our grandfather (their own father). It turns out that he was a child molester, even his own kids couldn't escape him until adulthood. They lived in very rural Rocky Mountains where the closest neighbor was five miles away."
– Express_Topic_4081
This is why proper vetting of adults as role models is crucial.
The "Odd" Babysitter
"My really odd babysitter got fired after she broke her glass table. I was playing with her son in another room when we heard a crash. She actually used to lock us in his room a lot. I don't recall much but I remember a big commotion soon after."
"I remember my dad screaming at my mom that night about how I was banned from going over there ever again and how it was my mothers fault for letting me go over there (which I didn't understand)."
"Grew up to find out that babysitter was shooting up and fell through that glass table. Neighbors had heard the crash and rushed over and found her high as a kite with 2 kids locked in a room (me and her kid)."
– NotBadSinger514
Her Foaming Mouth
"Damn. I have a similar story. My babysitter was having trouble with her bf and tried to commit suicide while watching My sister, brother and I. My brother and I were 3, sister 4. She drank bleach and bee spray."
"I can vaguely remember looking at her foaming mouth in curiosity. My sister had the wherewithal to call my mother at work and tell her that Audrey was foaming out of her mouth because of what she drank. My mother called 911 and Audrey made it. Years later she asked my mother for a reference LOL 😆"
– GiantBlueSmurf
Church Secret
"A guy who was forced out of the church and none of the kids knew why. 30 years later he was arrested for pedophilia dating back to when he was kicked out of the church. All the kids loved him as he always showed a ton of interest in us. Turns out, the church covered for him to not lose face and he went on to molest more kids across the state for 30 more years."
– ph3l0n
The "Kind" Officer
"In 5th grade when we had the D.A.R.E program, there was this police officer that came to my class to teach us about drugs and drugs prevention and whatnot. He for some reason had a fondness for me. He told me I looked like his son and from then on would call me 'my son.' He would always massage my shoulders and ask me about my life and sh*t. At the time I thought it was kinda cool, because the police officer gave me more attention than everyone else. A bunch of years later, I saw in our local news paper that that police officer was arrested for child molestation and child pornography."
– HAN_CH0LO
Taking Advantage Of Innocence
"My friends in Junior high (around 13-14 y/o) having relationships with older men... Men in their 50s. They were so proud of it, also they were so proud of being sexually active with them. And when I was a kid I never once thought that was weird, I would just think oh it's their boyfriends... So that's ok, yes?"
"Then I grew up, learn things about the world and realized how f'ked up that was, I wish I knew better and I wish I had gone to the police. I still feel bad to this day in my 30s."
– PenutLover
People from broken homes or in abusive relationships often avoid talking about their situation.
The Trigger
"Finding out that breaking a cup or spilling a drink wasn’t a big deal was quite an eye opener, watching my girlfriend look at me like I’m nuts while I apologise for 20 minutes about dropping a glass of water made me reevaluate a lot of my childhood."
– HELLFIRECHRIS
Bruised Mother
"Went to a friend's house on the weekend to play video games at the age of about 10. We had a good time and played a lot of games on the ps2. His mom came upstairs from the basement to ask if we wanted food."
"I turned around and said yes please and before I could finish saying please I noticed she had a black eye. I asked my friend what happened to his mom's face and he said 'I can't say.' 10 year old me just said oh okay and we preceded to play video games. I didn't realize until I was about 19 this happened."
– bardownhockey15
The Lonely Girl
"On a day out with my dad when I was little I was playing in the park with a girl same age as me I didn’t know her but she was on her own , me and my dad left after an hour or so leaving the girl on her own again , obviously my dad asked where her parents were etc..."
"Later on that night there was a big story on the news about a girl who had been abducted and all my family kept asking me question about this little girl . It went right over my head at the time being about 5 yrs old . 40 yrs later I still think about her."
– Eve-76
The Friend Who Changed
"From 4th to 6th grade, I would go to a friends regularly. For most of the friendship his mom was super nice and engaged with us as kids, while his dad had always been this mysterious person at a high powered job that everyone tip-toed around once he got home."
"My friend’s attitude started changing near the end of our friendship, being abusive to his dog that he used to be obsessed with and overall high strung. Parents were a little off compared to before."
"I stayed for dinner one night like I had before many times and his mom sits down with a black eye. I was confused, like, how did she get hurt? It was a bit awkward, but the dad was there and those meals were more about finishing up than chatting. I guess everything was always less fun when he was around."
"My friend was not the same as he was before. More aggressive and that wasn’t my style. Our friendship just kind of waned off."
"I didn’t realize till many years later that his dad was likely an abusive a**hole, was hitting his wife, and maybe his sons. I'll never forget the weird anxiety that filled the house in those last few months, and that my presence may have been a kind of reprieve period where the dad had to play it cool."
"That anxiety did end up pushing me away, and looking back I hope my friend, his brother, and Mom got out of the situation."
– DogsBlimpsShootCloth
The Slap
"When I was about 10, my dad offered to buy me candy and stopped at a store to run in. We had a long drive back and I asked where the candy was. He said in the bag in the back but that he’d get it for me when we got home since he was driving. I said 'it’s okay I can reach it' and as I reached for it he slapped me and said yelled that I can wait until I got home."
"My father had never hit me before that, and never did again after. The most confusing part to me was the look of utter sadness and shock on his face after he hit me."
"My dad was an alcoholic and killed himself before my 18th birthday."
"It wasn’t until I was older that I understood he had bought a bottle of vodka and forgot to place it in its own bag…or that I hadn’t seen him drinking water all those times he disappeared to his truck and I snuck to the window to watch where he went."
– WhatATravisT
Domestic Violence
"my dad drowning my mom on her birthday. he grabbed her and went outside to the front yard and placed the hose in front of her face and turned the water on. he was laughing while my mom was screaming and crying. neighbors saw and didn’t do anything. after a few minutes he stopped."
"my mom went inside, changed and went to work. i could only imagine how my mom felt afterwards."
"till this day i think about that when it’s her birthday."
– itbelikewat10
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
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Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.