Non-Sexual Things Married People Look Foward To Doing When Their Partner's Away
Reddit user shaka_sulu asked: 'Married folks, what's a non-sexual thing you look forward doing at home only when your spouse is away?'
When the cat's away, the mice will play.
That scenario could apply to many situations, but it generally refers to an individual enjoying temporary freedom to do as they please in the absence of a foe or constant companion.
In romantic couplings, this may involve a spouse or significant other finally engaging in private activity that could be frowned upon in the presence of the other person.
Curious to hear examples, Redditor shaka_sulu asked:
"Married folks, what's a non-sexual thing you look forward doing at home only when your spouse is away?"
Some people are happy to take up extra space.
Spacious Parking
"Parking my car in the middle of the garage."
– starkpaella
"Genius answer. It always brings joy."
– Heynicejobtoday
Hush
"The quiet. My husband constantly has the TV on, even if he’s not watching, and I enjoy silence."
– 2workigo
"This. My wife lived alone for many years and always has the TV on, even uses the one in the bedroom as noise to fall asleep to. The first thing I do when she’s gone is make sure all the noisemakers are shut off around the house. Well, except the cats. They don’t have off buttons."
– jaybeeg
Bed Positions
"Sleeping on the diagonal."
– snogweasel
"When you're there, I sleep lengthwise And when you're gone I sleep diagonal in my bed."
– downvotingprofile
Quiet Viewing
"I had a day off work today. Husband was at work, kids at school, so after I did the school run I came home, wrapped myself in our softest heated blanket, lay on the sofa and watched 3 movies with no interruptions. It was bliss."
– PheonixKernow
These Redditors can finally revel in their respective indulgences when they finally have the place to themselves.
Taste In The Finer Things
"The wife is a picky eater. When she is away, I either make a meal that she doesn’t like or I go to a restaurant that she doesn’t care for."
"It’s the little things. 😂"
– aizzo4
All Mine
"I cook almost all the meals. Almost being that we occasionally get take out. When I have a day off and my husband is working and my kids are at school/daycare, I go get breakfast and Waffle House. By myself. I sit there and eat a waffle, two scrambled eggs and bacon and I DONT HAVE TO F'KING SHARE! My husband despises Waffle House, but f'k I love those waffles. My parents used to have a waffle iron that made the traditional style waffles with the tiny squares until the cord shorted out. I miss them."
– missag_2490
Cheers
"My wife is in recovery, six years sober, and I support her in every way possible including, obviously, no alcohol in the house. If she’s away for a few days, I’ll grill me some steak tacos and wash them down with a really good Cabernet."
– Tom__mm
"I’m a recovering addict and I think you’re a great husband."
– JLHuston
Screen Time
"Watching TV shows he'd never watch, on the big TV."
– sexrockandroll
"There isn't an ancient aliens, shows from the early 80s (chuck Norris and Jack klugman), or horror movies that he won't watch - pausing every 3 seconds in case I miss something - that WE have to watch. When he travels for work I relish the quiet. Even the weather channel is enjoyable."
"My love for my husband has no end but he has the stupidest taste in shows yet whines if I would rather deep clean the basement than deal with any of it."
"But I can only deep clean the basement so many times..."
– Big-Mine9790
To each his/her/their own.
The Organizer
"Deep cleaning and reorganizing. I know, I'm a real party."
– Dependent_Top_4425
"You are my people. The garage door is hardly down before I'm getting busy!"
"There is not one thing better in this whole world than having some alone time in my spotless house."
– Individual-Army811
Everything But The Kitchen Sink
"Hike all day, get the sh**ty chinese takeout that she hates and I love despite knowing full well it’s objectively not good, and drink some nice beer while watching movies all night."
– holographoc
Establishing Order
"Putting things down and having them still be there when I want them."
"Having a clean house that stays that way for more than 30 seconds. I love him, but he's just a whirlwind of plates and seltzer cans some days."
– Lyeta1_1
When my husband's away, I watch all the horror films that have been stacking up in the queues of my streaming platforms.
He has a weak stomach for gore and violence, so we often avoid home invasion movies or slasher flicks and instead stick to comedy, drama, or dramedies, and documentaries.
Which is all well and good.
But when I have the place all to myself, I bust out the wine and Doritos and watch the latest Halloween or Scream movies I've been missing out on.
The One Secret People Will Never Tell Their Significant Other
Reddit user spinx248 asked: 'What’s a secret you’ll never tell your spouse or SO?'
Communication and trust are keys to a long-lasting relationship.
But even the best relationships are not without their secrets. Depending on the situation, some information is better left unrevealed so as to protect the relationship.
But is that a violation of trust–even if ignorance is bliss?
That's something that was explored after Redditor spinx248 asked:
"What’s a secret you’ll never tell your spouse or SO?"
Redditors came clean with their emission admissions.
"Remember when we were engaged and visited your mom in the hospital, and she let a fart so rank that your eyes watered and we still talk about it 20 years later?"
"That was me."
– Sarah-JessicaSnarker
It Was Coming From Inside The House
"That I farted and him checking the entire house as well as asking the neighbors if they smelled anything because he thought 'it could be a gas leak' was a waste of time."
– missnewbooty_
These secrets kept the relationship alive.
Monster-In-Law
"Her mother was interfering in our marriage constantly."
"I had an appointment with a lawyer to talk over options for divorce because I couldn't stand it anymore."
"Then her mother died suddenly. Heart attack."
"After the funeral, things got better...and here we are now married for 3 decades."
"She doesn't need to know."
– toTheNewLife
Early Bird
"How we really met…"
"He thinks a mutual friend decided to play matchmaker, which is true, but not the full picture."
"A friend of mine sent screenshots of my SOs dating app profile saying 'I’ve just found your future husband' some light googling led me to discover we shared a mutual friend, I spoke to him and he played matchmaker."
"6 years later, I’m never telling him that I basically stalked him first…"
– caca_milis_
There's no harm in keeping these private.
Potential Game-Over
"That I left the Nintendo Switch you gifted me on a bus. The Switch that you see me using is a replacement that I bought on ebay."
– TurtleGlobe
Pretend Hero
"Sometimes when I shake the kleenex outside, the spider isn't in it."
– ALighterShadeOfPale
"Hahaha once my husband captured a spider i was too scared to get. I was cowering down the hallway when inheard him say 'oops' then a slightly insincere"got 'em" but just a beat too late to be true."
– nebbeundersea
Redditors hid their clumsy attempts to make things right.
H2O-ohhh
"That one time when went camping for 3 nights I left the garden hose on at home full blast and we got a $700 water bill."
– poppinwheelies
Clumsy Repair
"That I chipped our wonderful granite quartz counter (that he picked out) and filled it with white putty. I will take this to my grave."
– Arrowings
Ignorance is bliss, forever and always.
Secret Ingredient
"Early on in our relationship, I made breakfast for my then Girlfriend and her kids using some pancake mix she had in the pantry. After making the pancakes and serving to them, I went to mix up a little more to make mine...and I realized there were some maggots in the dry mix."
"They were pretty much done eating, and telling me how good they were...I decided that ignorance was better than telling them. Taking that one to my grave."
– camafu
Secrets are tricky, but like all other types of confidential information, they have a tendency of slipping out.
A possible breakup can either be blamed on the nature of the secret itself or the deception of concealing it from a significant other.
If you have a secret you're keeping from your loved one, you may want to consider if it's worth coming clean.
On one hand, it can be risky if a hurtful truth can jeopardize the relationship. But think of the advantage of voluntarily owning up to the truth and earning more respect from your SO.
Something to think about.
No one wants to be alone.
But that doesn't mean we should settle when it comes to choosing a romantic partner.
When people rush into things without letting love flourish, it could lead to problems down the line that can inevitably lead to difficult breakups.
Those who've learned this the hard way shared their experiences with love when Redditor lastknownstar asked:
"What common mistakes do people make when choosing a life partner?"
Communication is key.
Discussing Life Issues
"Not discussing big life issues: your preference for having kids, parenting styles, deep religious beliefs, career aspirations, significant traumas…anything that may affect how you make decisions together later on."
– AwkwardFortuneCookie
Outdated Notions
"My parents were like this. Dad grew up in a standard midcentury 'men run the house, women stay in the kitchen' family, but Mom came from a long line of domineering southern matriarchs who had their husbands whipped. Dad was naturally a good cook and Mom hated cooking, but once they got married, Dad insisted she make all the food because that's what wives are supposed to do. No warning, total 180 on their relationship up to that point."
"He's learned his lesson and now happily cooks for my stepmom, but man... That's not something you can just spring on your new spouse overnight!"
– shebbsquids
What About Kids
"Having kids is a really big question that absolutely needs to be communicated. I've also heard that it's a topic that would make the man a big red flag if asked early into the 'relationship' as in first date and/or texts are off limits."
"Wouldnt it be a lot nicer to 'speed date' these big topics early on?"
– Leaping_Turtle
These Redditors realized ignorance of financial responsibility in a relationship came at a cost.
Finances
"Finance is the number 1 leading cause of divorce."
"Edit: this popped up in my YouTube recommendation (Is your relationship struggling because of finance? - Dave Ramsey https://youtu.be/XuU7oabGqjk). Google is not monitoring us or anything"
– strangemanornot
Spending Habits
"This is such a big issue in relationships. Knowing each other's spending habits is equally important. My ex would be extremely judgmental when it came to my 'fun money', but when he bought a new TV or a new gaming console, he was not to be questioned on it."
– RewardNo3000
You can't change people.
Fixing Their Flaws
"Thinking, 'I know this person has flaws, but when we're married I can help fix them.'"
– DoctorExtra9060
"Ok marriage isn’t working but if we have kids things will change because it will bring us closer."
– Mrepman81
Parasitic Love
"I personally had this issue dating someone who was as sweet as could be, but not the brightest bulb in the socket, and they relied on me for knowledge on everything from health to history to housework. All perfectly googleable or troubleshootable questions, but always defaulted to giving up and asking mommy the girlfriend for help. Admittedly it was kind of an ego boost to have someone always telling me how smart I was and deferring to my judgement on everything, but that's not what a healthy romantic relationship should be like."
"I thought I could nudge them gently into being slightly more self sufficient, but it only got worse as they grew accustomed to relying on me for every little thing. And of course the flip side was I felt like I could never rely on them when I needed help... I knew I was SOL if I couldn't do everything myself, because I was dragging around a parasite instead of a partner."
"Next time I want to spend years working on a fixer-upper, I'm just going to buy a crumbling Victorian house. It'll cause me less stress in the long run."
– shebbsquids
Taking An Emotional Toll
"I was in a similar boat with an ex, wasn't so much her fault as she had a learning disability and epilepsy."
"Every other weekend we also looked after her kids from past relationships, one of which had autism, and due to my ex's condition she wasn't allowed to be on her own with the kids meaning I had to be there as the capable, responsible adult."
"We were together for just shy of 4 years."
"After she broke things off it took a good few months for me to get used to the fact that I could actually let my guard down, switch my brain off and relax. Without needing to constantly worry that someone would need my help or that I needed to ensure her safety."
"She didn't quite realise the toll it was having on me or the amount of responsibility was on my shoulders. She would constantly suggest things like holidays abroad with just us two and the kids, and all I could think was that it would be far from a relaxing holiday for me as I'd have her and two kids to look after and be responsible for the entire time."
– ShadowSurgeGaming
Managing expectations is key.
Never Settle
"Choosing someone they think they should be with instead of someone they're actually compatible with."
"I feel a lot of people have a picture in their head of who they think they'll end up with and chase that ideal, instead of acknowledging their own personality and aiming for someone compatible with that. Easier said than done, but yeah."
– Viminia7 ·
Importance Of Value
"I talk with my partner about this all the time. We think its important to have shared values not shared interests."
"Yes it’s important to share things you both like to do, but just because your partner likes One Punch Man, like you do, doesn’t mean they are on the same page as you with resolving conflicts."
– scsm
Elvis Presley reminded us that only fools rush in, despite his intense romantic feelings towards his object of affection.
But the wise men he was referring to were on to something.
It's best to ease into things and let love grow, and not force relationships without really getting to know the person with whom you plan to devote yourself to.
If it's meant to be, it'll be worth taking things slow by getting to know a prospective significant other's dreams, what makes them, and their values to see if there is enough chemistry to develop meaningful relationships.
No matter how much someone loves their spouse or partner, the inherent challenges which come with sharing a bed often go unspoken.
Blanket hogging, snoring, spreading, and kicking are only some of the challenges people endure.
Annoying as all of those nocturnal habits are, none of them are quite as unsettling as having a partner who talks in their sleep.
If the fact that they're talking wasn't enough to stop you from drifting off, what they're saying will only get you more distracted and scared.
As the 1993 comedy classic So I Married An Axe Murderer demonstrated, one simple phrase uttered in one's sleep could be the beginning of a long, macabre winding road of secrets.
"Redditors with SOs who talk in their sleep, what is the creepiest thing they've said?"
Double Entendre Maybe?
“'Steven'.”
"What?"
“'He’s coming out of the faucet'.”
"What?!"
“'STEVEN’S COMING OUT OF THE FAUCET!”'- pinnietans
You Get Used To It After A While
"I talk in my sleep."
"My wife has told me many stories."
"the best one hands down has to be when she was pregnant, she woke up with really bad heart burn and nausea."
"She tried to wake me up and tell me she's not feeling well."
"She tells me I legit said 'you know those feelings you are feeling? just turn them off' and fell back to sleep."
"I'm really lucky my wife knows I sleep talk and loves me."
"She doesn't hold anything i say like that against me, just teases me a lot."- CubbyNINJA
Speaking Metophorically?
"My SO informed me one morning that he had woken up in the middle of the night with my face inches from his, my finger in his ear and I was apparently whispering, 'I just need to get in, let me in!''- veenabaneena
Movie Love GIF by Lauren JenkinsGiphySurely They Think They're Worth More Than That?
"She said 'Don't leave me for $3'."- bf0caiig
... Be More Specific?
"My boyfriend once cupped my crotch in his sleep and said, 'Two out of five stars'.”- irish-ygritte
"Bug"ing Out...
"I come in to go to bed, lay down and am about to turn the bedside lamp off."
'Cue him turning over, eyes still shut, obviously still asleep."
'Don’t turn the light off'.”
"I’m confused now, 'why?'"
“'They need to see."
”'Now I’m freaking the f*ck out wondering who is in our bedroom that I haven’t noticed."
“'Who needs to see?'”
"'The bugs.'”
“'Why do the bugs need to see?'”
“'To read'.”
'This happened months ago and I still haven’t let it go."- BoldBupropion
Fox Artists On Tumblr GIF by Animation Domination High-DefGiphyAs Long As He Could Laugh About It.
"He did that sit straight up in bed thing that I thought only happened in movies then shouted 'they're coming for my skinnnn'."
"Chuckled then fell back asleep."- visionsofk
Not The Answer They Were Expecting
"My mother loves to still bring this story up, happened back during my 8th grade year of school."
"One morning she walked in to see if I was awake, so she asked 'are you awake?' to which I apparently said 'f*ck, I don't know is it meteors' all while dead asleep."- schrack
So Many Questions...
"Not SO, but a roommate, woke up the whole house shouting 'Where is the head?! Where is the head?!'."- lotnia
animation monday GIF by Tony BabelGiphyWho knows what's going through our partners minds when they begin talking in their sleep.
More often than not, they're probably in the midst of an intense dream or nightmare, and it's nothing to worry about in the grand scheme of things.
Should you ever hear your partner call out for "Ralph" however, you may have legitimate cause for concern...
How People Would React To Catching Their Best Friend Sleeping With Their Significant Other
Affairs and infidelity are sadly a more common part of life than we care to admit.
People cheat. it seems to be part of the human condition.
Are we meant to be monogamous?
That's a story for a different article.
I say though, if you're going to cheat... have some basic human decency.
Don't cheat with people you all know.
And how are BFFs not automatically off limits?
Redditor Gifwii wanted to hear all the ways we'd all react when betrayed by the ones we love.
So they asked:
"If you caught your best friend having sex with your wife, what would you do?"
How can people betray one another like that?
Gross
Say Word Lol GIF by Desus & MeroGiphy"Be weirded out because they are brother and sister."
roadkilled_skunk
"Haha... I'm also dating my best friend’s sister."
Alcoholic__Engineer
Ok Dateline...
"I'm more concerned on how he found her body."
Smiddy3663
"If he's really your best friend, he helped bury it."
Inside-Effective-353
Hey Bestie
"I don't think he would. I had him neutered as a puppy."
a5redwing
"This reply was made extremely funny (or concerning) by the fact that I took it as someone neutering an actual person when they became friends."
DuCKDisguise
Never Cry Wolf...
"Take his car keys and drive to his place. It's all yours now buddy."
gerbageman
"Hol' up, remember to make it official. You have to p*ss a border around your new acquisition like in Never Cry Wolf, and if any relatives of the former owner are present you need to mark the ones you can't mate with, and you know, mate with the others."
SuboptimalButHopeful
"With that logic, I guess his house and and family are mine now? That's okay with me, his wife is pleasant to be around."
Savageturtles
Betrayal...
Julio Cesar Rome GIF by Luis RicardoGiphy"That happened to me 30 years ago and I haven’t been able to fall in love since."
TalboGold
"I'd be more unwilling to make best friends than rather than unable to develop a crush."
Equivalent_End5
The rudeness of it all.
An Assist?
Season 4 Flirting GIF by FriendsGiphy"Ask if she wants help..."
"Since they're the same person."
null640
Revenge
"Have sex with his wife. It’s only fair."
ami2weird4u
"My ex fiancée had an affair with a married man. Talked to his wife, she and I made a sex video and sent it to them."
Solid-Acanthisitta86
"I'm not a vengeful nor petty person but this kind of turned me on."
dipstyx
Evidence
"Record it for evidence then talk to a divorce lawyer on how to get a divorce without losing anything."
"Thank them both and move on with my life."
Wraisted
"In most states, the fault isn't a thing that matters beyond the reason. It just may waive the cooling off period... at fault divorces mattering in regards to separation of property ended in the 70's for the vast majority of the country."
"Apparently they discovered that people lie, and it is rarely a clear cut 'this person is the only one guilty.'"
Dredly
GO!
"I'd have to leave, or else I'd commit murder. I would then leave forever, I think I would just leave everything behind and become a nomad at that point and never look back."
AlavarTheBlue
"Also my first thought. Never a more compelling moment to finally hit the road and live every day like it's my last."
yes_yup_uh_huh
"Maybe tomorrow I'll wanna settle down..."
Lost to Me
"Well, it is an extreme level of cheating. One thing is to find your wife in bed with a lover but whole other to find her with your best friend. It is multi-level betrayal and that would leave a huge impact on my future life. Not that I would be sorry for losing that person but because it would make me hard to trust anyone after that. Hope that never happens to me or anyone I know."
Didytz
LOL
bill murray nw GIFGiphy"Exclaim, 'Bob! What the hell? I HAVE to sleep with her, but you??!!'"
Slartytempest
This is more common than you think. Watch Dateline.
How would you react in this situation? Let us know in the comments.