Ridiculous Ways Straight Guys Have Tried To Hit On Lesbians
"Reddit user AdOk3759 asked: 'Lesbians of Reddit, what’s the most ridiculous thing a straight guy told you to talk you into having sex with them?'"
Men and women and talking and flirting.
What a disaster that can be.
It's especially tricky when men flirt with women who are into women.
It sounds like a lot of gents can't take that obvious hint.
How this is STILL an issue in 2023 is beyond us all.
But here we are.
Gentlemen, please sit and read the following.
And then read it again.
Then share with your friends and male family.
A deleted Redditor wanted to hear about the ways straight men couldn't take a hint, so they asked:
"Lesbians of Reddit, what’s the most ridiculous thing a straight guy told you to talk you into having sex with them?"
How Patriotic
"I had a guy try to entice me with his weed. He literally pulled out the American flag bong with the grinder that looked like ammunition. Honestly left me kinda speechless."
xSwishyy
A Transplant
"Didn't go as far as sex but was definitely the most ridiculous thing a straight guy has said to me so far. I was trying to check out at the store when the 60-something y/o cashier started flirting with me, asking if I had a boyfriend, etc. When he asked why I didn't I told him I'm a lesbian and he said 'I actually have a female kidney from my transplant a couple years ago so we wouldn't have a problem together.'"
BestiesWithBaphomet
Me Too!
"The opposite - a very drunk man approached me on a station platform and asked me out. I awkwardly replied, 'Sorry, I’m gay.' He said, 'You like women??' and I nodded, bracing for homophobia… but instead he just excitedly exclaimed 'ME TOO!!!' and shook my hand. Then he left me alone. It was an extremely funny and non-threatening interaction and I think fondly of him from time to time."
orangepigeon
Let's Dance
"My brother was absolutely refusing to take no for an answer when asking [my friend] to prom. I think my brother asked my friend to prom like 5 times before they just started ignoring him. I also told off my brother cause my friend is open about being a lesbian and told him that they were a lesbian. Something about not having a lesbian somehow makes guys angry because they can't take no for an answer."
pumpkinthighs
Can men really be this off?
Oh the Drama
Feeling It Drama Club GIF by NickelodeonGiphy"He said that I had no idea what it's like to be the single straight guy who tries to find (sex) love. And it's cruel for me to not give him even a chance to be romantic with me. And I don't have a good reason to say no because he is good-looking and earns more money than I do lol."
Original-Pineapple18
DIBS
"This guy was one of my closer friends at the time, and SOLIDLY friend-zoned. We’d established countless times over the last year that we weren’t into each other, I was lesbian, and that even if I weren’t he wouldn’t go for me, yada yada. We’d talked about things that I would NOT have discussed if I knew he would ever be into me."
"Well lo and behold, one day I realize I’m questioning whether I’m bisexual or not due to a mutual friend. I bring it up to him in a state of real vulnerability, cuz I thought I’d had everything figured out before this, but wanted my friend’s input on if it was a good idea to bring it up to hot-dude directly."
"This grown-a** man told me HE HAD DIBS. D I B S."
Kazooasaurus
Preferences
"Not a lesbian, but I’m bi with a pretty strong preference for women. Probably THE most common response from guys when I say I’m not interested in 'Really? I dunno, you don’t look like you date girls.' I never know how to respond. Do they expect me to suddenly realize I’m NOT into women? Do they think questioning my preferences is endearing or sexy??"
Individual_Ad_7523
So Sexy
Ryan Reynolds GIF by CBCGiphy"Always the standard idea of they think their penis is magical and can 'turn' me. Uh, no. Also, have had more than a few guys say 'You're too attractive' to be a lesbian. They actually think it's a compliment. Oof."
Goody2Shuuz
Listen to someone's boundaries when they tell you, gentleman!
It's really that simple.
Does anyone have any similar stories? Let us know in the comments below.
Coming out is never easy.
Even in this day and age it comes with a touch of drama.
Of course we have to acknowledge how society has come a long, LOOOONG way with this topic.
The LGBTQ+ community of today definitely has a more welcoming world to announce themselves to.
But the truth is, it's still an intimate experience one must come to terms with.
And there is always that moment when... you know.
No matter your age, you still have the A-HA realization.
Redditor Haunting-Golf9761 was hoping everyone would be willing to share some intimate life secrets, by asking:
"Gay people of Reddit, what was the moment it clicked 'Yeah I’m gay?'"
I knew after an intimate evening with a woman.
It all just... made sense.
HER
starbucks pretty girl GIFGiphy"Looked at a girl and thought 'If I was a guy, I'd date her,' and realized I didn't need to be a guy to date her. I was not brave enough to speak to that girl though."
PeachLeech
THE GRIP
"2018 summer olympics. Realized I had been watching men's water polo, alone, for eight hours."
FallenFae
"I don't know why but this made me laugh. I’d watch men’s Polo, Diving, and Swimming and get amped. But like, I’d also be drooling over abs and butts."
shark_food31
"Lmfao this absolutely tracks. I'm bi AF and was OBSESSED with couples skating because everybody was so God da**ed beautiful and the chemistry was off the chain 🤣. The Olympics had a chokehold GRIP on me as a teen."
Lucky_Ranger
I Get It Now
"I'm bi, but I realized I wasn't straight while watching the Lizzie McGuire Movie when I was like 8-9. I was in the backseat on a long car ride watching on my portable DVD player. There's a scene near the end where Lizzie is on stage singing and the camera shot is behind her. I remember pausing the movie and staring at her butt for a good while wondering why it made me feel a certain way. A few years later I found my uncle's playboy magazines and it suddenly all made sense."
lovexnxpeacexox
"An episode of Star Trek the Next Generation where they showed Riker’s hairy chest. I learned not only that I was gay, but a lot about my specific type of gay."
Santos_L_Halper_II
Gays in space. We're everywhere.
Oh My
"I'm not gay but Bi with a heavy female lean. I always thought some guys were cute, heard of Grindr went on and hooked up with one I thought was cute."
Milestailsprowe
Thanks, He-Man...
"When I was really really young I used to have erotic dreams with guys (thanks, He-Man), but didn't think much about it. That's when the internal conflicts started."
"I knew I needed to be married to a woman and have family just like every man in my family did. I feared being singled out, because I lived in a retrograde place where honor killings were common. There were no homosexual s in my family, why me? By the age of 15, I had abandoned the idea of marrying a woman and keeping homosexual affairs as some people do and decided to be upfront with me parents."
"I told them I was gay, and they seemed to take somewhat well. Deep down, they did not."
"It took years for them to truly accept me, but I can say that I have a good life. Not the one that was envisioned for me all those years ago."
Hideyohubby
The Literature
"I was 8 when my brother (6 years older) was recording the last Nirvana concert and I said David Grohl was cute. I didn't really know what it meant to be attracted to someone, but I was drawn to him and the words just came out. My brother said 'That means you're GAY!!!!' which I didn't understand what gay was yet but his tone made me respond 'Nuh uh!!!'"
"Turns out he was right. When I was 13ish I found my brother's porn magazines and found myself uninterested in the ones that were just women. That's probably when it fully dawned on me. Still kept it to myself until I was in college and out of my small rural hometown."
Mathandyr
Back in the Day
"Looking back, I definitely had feelings for women just as much as I did men. I just either didn't realize or was in denial about it. I was 20 when a girl crush really hit me hard and I started to realize it but was still confused for some time. Finally around age 24 I came out to my brother as bi, and much to my relief he did as well!"
Ohhhhhhthehumanity
Breathless
Kate Winslet Yes GIF by EmmysGiphy"My senior year of high school, Titanic was re-released in 3D for the 100 year anniversary of the disaster. Being my favorite movie of all time, my dad took me to see it at the closest IMAX theater."
"I caught myself trying to control my breathing during the nude drawing scene so that my dad didn’t catch on to the fact that I was super into seeing Kate Winslet’s breasts in towering 3D."
wildflowerhonies
Who doesn't love Titanic.
We thank these brave souls for sharing their stories.
Do you have something similar to share? Let us know in the comments below.
Life as a member of the LGBTQ+ community is easy...said nobody ever.
History has shown that society has never been accepting of marginalized people, particularly in the gay community.
The coming out experience often includes people responding to the revelation with questions like "why would anyone would choose to live a life of constant ridicule?"
While being gay is–once and for all–not a choice, cynics got one part right with the notion that gay people are subject to harassment and bullying for being different.
Curious to hear of the struggles that come with being othered, Redditor shiraah asked:
"Gay people of reddit, whats the hardest part about being gay?"
Listen to their voices. They need to be heard.
We Are Strangers In A Strange Land
"It makes you feel like a foreigner in your own land. Society is set up for heteronormatity and being gay means that you never fully fit in."
"Sure western society has accepted us a bit more in the last decade, but we still aren't really, 'normal.'"
"Straight people will casually drop things about their boyfriend, or fiance in public without a second thought. But I have to read the room before talking about that."
"Most doctors act weird at first when you talk to them about sexual health. They all seem to assume I have undiagnosed HIV or something."
"Gay men seem to develop at a different rate, so in many ways, our only true, 'peers' are other gay men. But since we are only 3% of the population, it can be really hard to find a circle."
"On top of that, 30ish percent of the US population still hates us. You never know when you are in the presence of an unsafe person."
"Interacting with children is actually terrifying because at any point in time, the parents can accuse you of grooming. This is especially true with teenagers. I really wish the older gay community could mentor teenage gay boys. But there is simply no safe way to discuss sexuality with them. We have to just blanket exclude everyone under 18 for the safety of the community."
"I see boys on Reddit all the time, freaking out at the realization that they are gay. But I can't console them. Its not safe. I actually have several events scheduled in my calendar that say, 'x reddiitor is now 18, follow up and make sure he understands sexual health.'"
– thedrakeequator
I Just Want To Hold Their Hand
"always being on edge/on guard when ur out with ur partner in public. not sure if you can hold their hand or kiss them or show any kind of affection. it’s sucks, i just wanna hold their hand walking thru the park but it’s a 50/50 chance if it’s gonna be fine or if someone’s gonna do something to us"
– fvcking-hell
These Redditors shared their experiences involving friends who were supposed "allies."
The Late-To-The-Party-Ally
"I grew up in a smaller town. I’m bi, so a little of this, a little of that. I had some gay porn between my mattress and box spring. Some 'friends' and my ex gf found it while I was at work. That sh*t spread like f'king wildfire. My ex gf and her new bf had a blast outing me to anybody who would listen. This was all about 15 years ago and it haunts me to this day. When I texted her and begged her to stop, she responded with 'HAHAHAHAHAHA!' and we never spoke again."
"Now that it’s 'cool' and 'progressive' to support LGBTQ+ rights, she’s 'aN aLl' and 'sUpPoRtS lOvE' 2,000 miles away from our hometown.
"F'k you, Candace."
– A_Soft_Fart
"When I was in high school, still in the closet, I had a super close male friend. Never any romantic feelings there, we were both just awkward kids who got each other. One day he was over at my house and we were play wrestling, and I remember thinking 'if I come out, we are never going to be able to do this again.'”
"A few months later, I came out to a girl in our friend group. I specifically asked for her advice and emotional support coming out to him, because I knew he had conservative parents and it was going to be a difficult conversation. You know where this is going. She told him I had a crush on him, then started telling anybody who would listen. He never talked to me again, fell in with a weird crowd, and now he’s a MAGA republican."
"I came home from school that day and had to immediately come out to my Catholic parents, worried that they would hear it from someone else. That whole experience was terrible, I won’t bore you with the details."
"Then a few months ago I see this girl post about the importance of being an ally. I have never in my life wanted so badly to throw a massive social media tantrum."
– chicksonfox
The hard part is over after coming out. But then, new challenges arise.
Loneliness
"It’s lonely. Especially if you’re not an extrovert or ‘mainstream’ gay person."
– Triairius
Isolation From Within
"This and hating the whole hookups culture hurt the most. I read too many things about gay guys always hooking up and only looking for hookups, so I just kinda end up excluding myself from the gay community. Then being in heavily religious states causes me to feel excluded in the straight communities I’ve been in because either they talk about gays being 'sinful' or talk about girls and I just stand there and nod."
– ArtyomV2
Guessing Game
"Trying to gauge if someone is gay or not before asking them out."
– PadThai517
Fearing A Negative Response
"I've never asked out a guy because I have this fear that a straight guy will take offense and punch me. I know it's unlikely, but it sticks in the back of my mind."
"Edit- just want to say that I greatly appreciate the positive comments, I'm overwhelmed and hope I'm lucky enough to hit on some of you straight guys someday :)"
– SwiftCase
As a gay, cisgender male, I'm always coming out to people I meet for the first time, either through a mutual friend or at a family function.
I don't mind opening up to people about my self-identity.
However, it can be tedious, constantly feeling the need to explain who I am to certain individuals who grew up in a hetereonormative environment as a preface to getting acquainted.
Rather than demanding gay people conform to the concept of a "normal" society, the change should be coming from society to normalize acceptance and compassion toward LGBTQ+-identifying people.
There have been significant strides for progress, but the fact that we're still having a conversation about the hardships of being gay reveals we still have a ways to go.
When it comes to gender roles in relationships, our society has a horrible habit of jumping to conclusions about the wants and needs of men and women.
For example, men are so often the notated aggressors or otherwise the buffoons of the story, clumsily chasing women with their pants down and one thing on their mind.
But men are people too—despite their best efforts—and have standards they must adhere to when entering into a relationship.
Redditor SnowyAcid asked:
"Guys of Reddit, what turns you off?"
Here were some of those answers.
Dudes Have Feelings
"Disinterest in my emotional state. Listen, I may not get emotional often, but when I have a moment, don't blow it off like 'you're a dude, get over it.'"
"Thanks for some cool comments and folks engaging this. Important note: this was a take on my past, my Fiancée (GF of four years) does not minimize any of my feelings, and that includes the occasional angry outburst. She is a phenomenal woman"-shock1918
Reciprocation Is Important
"I just went through this after a relationship where I adored the girl with all my heart and it just wasn't reciprocated. If you're not happy, move on."
"Ultimately does it matter if she's not interested or playing a game? If it's not fulfilling your needs and making you happy, find someone who will."
"Unfortunately, at least imo, it's that simple for relationships. If you are spending more time unhappy or wondering if she even feels the same, it's not worth it."-bambles_
Look At The Ducks!
"I have ducks that hang out in a lake near my place."
"I've told five women (on dates) that I frequently take walks around the lake because I love the ducks and the scenery is nice and three of the five said that that 'is weird.' Specifically that I think ducks are neat."
"I'm still confused why it's such a hot topic. Ducks are cool, and chill. Wildlife in general is fun. Isn't it? Am I crazy?"
"To be clear I didn't go on and on about ducks or anything. Just that I enjoy the walks because I like the ducks."-LedgeEndDairy
Yes, in fact, sometimes men do not fit your staunchly depicted gender norms.
In fact, sometimes men DO like to look at the ducks.
Frankenstein's Monster
"Projection and thinking that you can read my thoughts."
"Ask questions, I'm happy to answer, but don't assume you know what Im thinking or why I did something, especially if its based on your experience with a previous partner."-dr_freudenstein
"When a toxic person decides to 'test' you for a reaction like a fucking science experiment and then blow up when the results weren't exactly what they overthought."-MasterCrouton
Ohhhh...THAT'S That Smell...
"I dated someone for a while before we spent a whole week together."
"5 days in and they finally decided to take a shower and didn't brush their teeth until day 6 even with me saying things like 'hey, dinner had a lot of garlic, do you wanna brush your teeth with me?'"
"Also noticed some other odd and disgusting habits of skin and scab picking and eating. No matter how nice they were I couldn't get over the lack of hygiene."
"Hardest break up of my life because how do you tell someone you're really nice but disgusting without hurting them?"-MissChievous8
Grow Up, Please
"Women that act like teenagers. I've met 18 year olds (obviously) that act like kids and I've met 25 year olds that act like kids."
"And no matter how hot they are I'm immediately turned off by it. I don't even really know how to describe it but their immaturity and glaring lack of real world life experiences make them seem annoying and petty."-genio_del_queso
Goodbye, Good Luck
"This will ultimately get buried. I spent 11 years trying to prove to someone that I care/loved them, we split up in 2012, and had 2 children."
"Spent many years coming over to fix things, spent time with the kiddos, played video games with them, and her, bought food, helped with bills, and taking her to the store, I'm ok with all of that, that's how I was raised to be is help others."
"When I needed somewhere to go I stayed with her, that was fine also, the biggest problem I had was, If I came in the door with a smile I was berated with who did you go f**k this morning, or why did you take so long to get here."
"Just in general being told that I'm trying to f**k everything, and have been told at one time I had to look at the floor at the grocery store, she even went as far to tell random women that I wanted their number, and I should go f**k them."
"I think I'm good now as the last straw was I was accused of sleeping with her 18 yo daughter and her 18yo friend that stayed the night, the next day I packed my stuff and just said I can't do this anymore, and left."-CaptainZzZz
Men have a limit, a threshold, feelings, wants and dreams—something we often forget because even men are told to sacrifice these things.
Put Your Garbage IN The Garbage
"Littering. I briefly dated a woman who was drop-dead gorgeous, sexy, fun, sweet, and seemingly smart and level-headed. During a nice evening walk, she was drinking a Coke from a plastic bottle and tossed it into the bushes when done."
"Flabbergasted, I asked her why she did that. She responded that it's OK: there are people who will clean it up. I asked her politely to please pick it up. She protested. I picked it up and took it to a bin that was just up the street, in the direction we were going."
"By this time she was calling me crazy and insisting she didn't do anything wrong. I was having no more of it, took her home, and left."
"She seemed so great in many ways. But this thoughtlessness and refusal to admit her mistake for something we all learn as kids is a bad thing was a deal-breaker. Had she admitted she was wrong and learned from her mistake, we might have had a chance."-BubbhaJebus
Don't Make Me Fight
"Openly flirting with other people. I went on a first date with a younger woman last weekend. She was just clamoring for attention from any place she could get it and made NO attempt to hide it. I lost all interest."
"The most she can ever expect from me is maybe FWB, but I probably won't even do that. It was a huge turnoff."
"Too bad, she's a great looking woman, pretty sharp. Younger, so I'll blame it on that. I'll probably not go out again. I don't need to train a puppy."-PhaedrusHunt
Men Have Agency Too
"Being guilted into sex. It's just expected sometimes that as a male - if someone comes on to you that you'll want to accept their advances. Seems that often times the guilt trip gets thrown at you if you decline even for just not being in the mood."
"From experience this seems super common for women to guilt men when declining sexual advances and it just seems acceptable at this point. If a male did the same to a women you'd never hear the end of it though."-JustLikeJD
Did anything on this list surprise you?
Did any of the things you thought you knew about men and what they wanted out of a relationship just go straight out the window?
People continue to surprise us despite best efforts.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
Image by mohamed Hassan from Pixabay |
People change. People learn and grow. That is the hope, that we will evolve into better humans.
Now I do give some people leeway as age and experience fashions them into better forms of themselves, especially for people who spend many formative years as "bullies."
One of the most bullied groups is the LGBTQIA community. Sadly many inflict inhumane cruelty on them.
And because too many others are just confused about themselves. Hurt people, hurt people. That is a very accurate saying. And often the people lashing out at the LGBTQIA community are just too afraid to admit, they want a ticket to the party.
Redditor u/straight-up-bs wanted to hear some hard but fantastic truths from people who found their truth by asking: Previous homophobes who turned out to be gay, what's your story?I've lost count of the number of people I personally know, who were just plain malicious to gay people. They would fling slurs and do bodily harm. They couldn't handle being around people "like that" they'd say. Then cut to a decade later, and there I see them shaking it on a speaker to Whitney. Mhmmm...
1-
Sorry Dog GIF by swerkGiphy"I wasn't a homophobe I think, but more... I guess a little judgy about it. I lived in the middle of nowhere and was homeschooled with extremely limited access to the internet, so really only had my father and stepmother as sources."
"My father's opinion was that all gays are really only doing it for attention, and my stepmother would tell us stories about how her family members would get disowned and written out of the will (a cousin of her's) when they came out of the closet."
"They also made it a stipulation that in order to be in their will we had to have four kids, and we could not adopt until we exhausted all other methods of natural conception. When I was about 14, I had started reading fanfiction. I was into Sonic at the time (cringy, I know) and stumbled upon the ships. It slowly turned to me reading more and more gay fanfics, as I started to read from other fandoms I was into."
"Once I got into the Harry Potter fandom properly, I realized that damn, I was ticking a lot of these boxes... Oh crap, I might be bi! Still haven't had a chance to properly explore me sexuality yet, and it's not really a concern of mine at the moment. I live with my bio mother now, and she's totally cool with me being bi curious. She's bi herself, apparently!"
2-
"Well, I grew up in such a hetero world that I genuinely didn't know what gay people were until I was 14 or 15. I just thought everyone was straight; which is why when I started crushing on girls when I was 13, I thought I was a perverted psychopath who needed locking up. I used to fake sick so I wouldn't have to go into school, so that girls wouldn't have to be anywhere near me. Eventually they started bullying me for being such a loner anyway."
"When I was 14, 2 senior year girls were expelled for being seen outside of school grounds, in their school uniforms, making out. That was what confirmed being gay was bad for me. We even had an entire religion module on why gay marriage shouldn't be legalised, and you had to back up your answers with bible quotes. A rumour went around about one girl being a lesbian, and I went along with the bullies, called her a freak behind her back."
"Well 3 years after that, I wrote a letter to my parents explaining how I just couldn't get myself to like boys, even after dating them. My mum picked it up mid way through writing it, read it aloud, and just started laughing. I said it'd be ok if she wanted to kick me out of the house. She said she couldn't give a crap and that I shouldn't either. Still got bullied for a while but eventually I found friends that accepted me."
Best Excuses For Late Assignments That Were Actually True | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
3-
"Gonna be similar to a lot of people here. Grew up in a super conservative religious family where gay people were regularly mocked and called immoral. My cousin is gay and came out when I was in middle school. The family refused to talk to him for about 10 years after that and that scared me so much as a kid I just suppressed any gay thoughts I might have. I ended up parroting the hate I heard from parents and continued to do so until I went to college."
"In college I was finally far enough away from them that I wasn't scared of hiding anymore and kind of figured out who I was (I didn't know I was gay until probably junior year. I had just pushed the possibility out of my head.) Since then I've told my mom who is a bit more chill (though she doesn't believe me. She thinks it's just God testing me) but no one else in the family. Kids mimic what they see, but in more accepting environments people have a better chance of realizing who they are (in my experience)."
4-
"I wasn't a serious homophobe. I didn't go out of my way to diss people for being part of the LGBT community but I didn't support them and kinda thought they were making a mistake. There were a lot of people who used being gay to get attention and I really didn't like it and since I didn't notice that they weren't actually gay, I thought that was natural."
"Secondly, I was using excuses of 'Aren't you too young to figure that out?' when talking to my friends. Around the quarantine, I started talking to this person who was explaining to me the LGBT community. I still wasn't very convinced but I tried to keep an open mind at least. After a while, we kinda went our separate ways."
"My friend started coming over more, and we started texting a lot more as well and I found myself staring at my friend in awe, hugging her and never wanting to let go, feeling sadder and disappointed when she would bail on me rather when my other friends did it and thinking about her a lot more. I haven't told her about my feelings yet but I'm planning to."
5-
romantic lady and the tramp GIFGiphy"I thought everyone wanted to make out with members of all sexes, and that they could choose to not make out with members of the same sex if they wanted to. Turns out, I'm just bisexual (not pan because I'm more into women than I am men)."
See how much happier and freeing it can be once we embrace our true selves? All of these people finally just gave up fighting, from within. And it's smoother when you take sometime to learn about the things you don't understand. Continue...
6-
jesus deal with it GIFGiphy"Was raised Christian and grew up being told that being lgbt was A) A straight ticket to hell B) On the same level as Beastiality or incest C) A choice, and D) The worst thing you can do to your family.
After thinking a long time about how much of christianity made zero sense and noticing that God literally never contacted me, I also questioned how good a God can be if he'd make someone a certain way then eternally torture them for not living their entire life rejecting such a huge part of themselves."
"Not to mention how they'd have to either live their entire life alone because of something they can't control, or force themselves to be with someone they did not feel attraction for. I rejected the religion on this basis. Then over time realized that it's not straight to daydream about marrying your best female friend. Then even later on I realized it's not cis that in a bunch of those daydreams, I was a guy."
- Rook_45
7-
"Grew up in a christian conservative family. Became a homophobe because that's what Jesus wanted, apparently. That's what my family taught me. 2016 rolls around and suddenly my christian family stops caring about any of their morals."
"I realized they didn't believe a thing they taught me, and I didn't have any reason to believe it either. So I kept the good stuff (love others) and dropped the hateful junk. I don't really consider myself gay, but I am a guy and I'm dating a guy, because they're a good person and that's the only thing worth considering."
- Indigoh
8-
"I grew up Baptist with a very LGBT+ phobic step-father. I was very (cringily) into Sonic and around middle school found out what shipping was. I was mortified that two guys would be shipped together, "They're both boys, the bible says that's bad!" However, I was repressing my interest in it. I would often look up gay ships with Shadow or Sonic, just to look at them angrily, like any repressed 12 year old would do."
"Eventually, I admitted my interest in it to myself, but also said I'd never support it in real life. Fast forward a few years and I end up having a MAJOR crush on a girl. My first real love was a girl, and at that time, I thought I was a girl too. That ended in heartbreak, but that's another story. Soon I start to question my gender because another classmate of mine who I was friends with came out as a trans guy. At first, I didn't realize the teacher was calling on him and was confused as to where [his deadname] was."
Eventually I figured it out and my own gender was up for question. I started making more male main OC's and realized I had a much better time relating to them than I ever did my female ones. I quickly realized I was a trans guy as well. Since then I've been questioning my sexuality and trying out different labels for it; but I'm pretty sure Pansexual covers it."
9-
"Trans "girl" here. I got sucked into the alt-right pipeline in 2015 before i knew what being trans was but boy did I get introduced to it. I was told by Ben Shapiro and all the other morons like him that being trans and nonbinary (my current and more accurate identity) is a mental illness and that people who are those things are delusional and easily "triggered snowflakes."
"It took a serious come to Jesus moment to get out of my bad ways of thinking but i still had sort of a mental fog for reasons unknown. that sort of all fell apart the moment quarantine hit. now i'm a lot happier but I still feel horrible for all the crap I spread on the internet a while ago."
10-
I Love You Kiss GIF by GAYCATION with Ellen Page and Ian DanielGiphy"I was like, one of those "I'm not homophobic but..." people until I was about 15, turns out the "but..." was "but I am a massive lesbian."
- BoomToll
11-
"I wouldn't say homophobe, I grew up with a pretty accepting father, my mom also accepted me when I came out as bi (I'm a girl) but really had a homophobic reaction towards my brother when he also came out as bi. I repeatedly got bullied growing up because I was a tomboy/large and got labeled as "butch", etc. I still have trouble accepting myself as I am because of it."
12-
"It's pretty simple. Being raised in a conservative state and christian family 🙂 you're taught to hate anyone who doesn't fit their mold, and subconsciously you know you're one of those "others", but you deny it and project that hate onto anyone else. I'll never understand how people can claim to worship a god who is loving, forgiving, sees humans as no better or worse than each other, yet they reject and exclude people from the "kingdom" or even target them as an outlet for their rage. So glad I escaped that barbaric way of life and thought."
13-
"Basically my mom was kind of my only friend growing up because I'm on the autism spectrum and didn't develop "proper" social skills until I was like 10. I would believe everything she told me without questioning it. She also happens to be part of some pretty cult-like conservative groups so yeah I unfortunately had some pretty twisted views on stuff for awhile. When I was 14 I developed feelings for some girl I knew at school."
"Don't really wanna get into all of the details but I tried my hardest to convince myself that I only liked her as a friend and had feelings for one of my guy friends instead, which failed miserably. After speaking to a therapist and crap I finally started to accept myself as bi and realize how much of a terrible person my mom is. Im 17 now and looking forward to moving out soon."
14-
"In high school, I had 2 best friends and we were part of a larger group of about two dozen friends. One guy in the larger group was outright hostile to anything gay. He hated any musical group with at least one known member who was gay, he hated guys wearing pink, and there were times he got so angry it would take a few of us to hold him back and keep him from attacking anyone (male or female) he perceived as gay. Found out at our ten-year reunion that all of it was due to his ultra-religious father who had disowned his own brother when he came out as gay."
"The uncle had been disowned by the entire family, called everything from evil to "possessed by Satan himself" to mentally deranged, etc. The last thing this guy wanted was to be treated the same way because, you guessed it, he was gay. His a-hole family disowned him, pretends he never even existed. I never saw him after high school, but others who have said he's a changed person, truly remorseful about the way he acted."
15-
Cartoon Yes GIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphy"Wasn't really that homophobic but I thought it was weird but in middle school my friend came out as bi and basically all those thoughts went away and I turned out to be bi."
16-
"I was raised in a religious cult and genuinely believed if you were gay, you were going to Hell. I was never violent and I genuinely tried not to be what I thought was hateful, but I know for sure I unfortunately still hurt a lot of people with my judgements."
"What was worse was that I was so hypocritical and so turned around, I was sexting with other guys and struggled to stop, thinking of my want to be active with other guys as an addiction sent by the Devil. I was tearing myself apart, telling myself I would just pray enough and get right, and I had to be the hope for others."
"I still have a ton of religious trauma from what happened to me, and even after I initially left the church, I didn't seek help and hurt people I romantically got in touch with. I have a long ways to go, but I'm worlds away from where I used to be. I need to be the best I can be because I never want my future kids to grow up the same way I did."
17-
"I was actually spoken to by a policeman 3 years ago for shoving a gay man after we had a disagreement in a pub. I was very homophobic in every sense. I wouldn't eat the food if the server was gay (couldn't bring myself to eat it), I left my friend group in university after a gay man was joining us. Couldn't see them on tv or listen to gay songs. Things like that."
"It's probably very complex why I hated them so much. A mixture of how they ruined my life and how I didn't want them to contaminate or hurt me. I was married for a few years and eventually I just felt really sick of it. I watched Hannibal the TV show and it was the beginning of coming to terms with it. I have a boyfriend now. He's really nice."
18-
"I grew up in your typical Christian bs, American dysfunctional household, knew really early on in life I wasn't normal so through school I was pretty hateful of gay and especially trans people and wouldn't associate with anyone that was. We had one trans girl in high school that I wouldn't associate with in any way, I didn't make fun of her or say anything awful but I deliberately stayed away from her. In secret I wished I could do the same and not let all the crap people said bother me but I didn't come out until I was 26. I really hate who I used to be and I wish I could do everything over."
19-
Golden State Warriors No GIF by NBAGiphy"I wasn't really a homophobe, but I was a self-homophobe. I respected effeminate and queer guys but any time I had a gay or effeminate thought I'd think "stop being a freaking f*ggot." Even after I figured out I was bi I still struggled with my masculinity for years."
20-
"I'm bi but I started to learn to be more comfortable with myself, as I am sure a lot of us did. We're taught that to be ourselves is a bad thing when it's not. For parents of any kind, let your kid be.
"Just because you're a lesbian, it doesn't make you less of a bein'."- Marge Simpson."
The truth is simple. Don't use that negativity for bad. Release it. Love is love is love. Let's just be people. Rant over.
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.