One major life lesson we all really need to adhere to is... pay attention to every keystroke when searching Google.
That is especially true if you're searching in public because that can be an awkward situation.
Pornography seems to just pop up everywhere, whether you like it or not.
I never knew how many basic and pure words and catchphrases could be linked to tawdry filth.
Redditoru/Thatitchypartwanted to discuss the times we've accidentally clicked a few too many keys on Google that led to some "shocking" places, by asking:
Dear redditors, what innocent search on Google turn out to be porn?
***BEWARE! THIS IS AN NC-17 THREAD!***
Of course that's how threads like this are always found, with a warning.
I have gotten myself into a few sticky situations because of random searches. It's especially problematic now that I've figured out how to connect my devices to Bluetooth.
Damn Clinton
christine ouzounian house GIFGiphy"Back in the day, whitehouse.com was a porn site. If you wanted to get to the real white house site, you had to type in .gov."
"one jacked Grandpa"
"I was joking with one of my friends over text. His birthday was coming up, and he had also been working out more. I mentioned he was going to be "one jacked Grandpa" or something along those lines. I went to go search the internet to find a picture to send with my comment annnndddd... Yeah."
Diesel
"I was in computer class as a sophomore in high school in 2002 when the movie xXx with vin diesel came out… I was innocently googling "xxx."
"I have a memory of me and my friends talking about the xXx movie with Vin Diesel in the back of my parents mini van. My parents were flabbergasted and started yelling at us for watch a triple x movie. We were confused (and innocent I guess) not knowing why they were mad, and they started laughing once we explained the plot of the movie and that it was only PG-13."
"Godzilla sex"
"Wanted to know if Godzilla was male or female. "Godzilla sex" was not the smartest thing to type in but surprisingly exists!"
Pokey X
Detective Pikachu Reaction GIFGiphy"Well when Pokemon x and y came out, some issues happened when kids went on Google and typed 'pokemon x videos' without specifying what exactly they were looking for."
- @ssliam
That's why I don't play Pokemon. It's a trap. And don't get me started on Godzilla. Everything is so random, isn't it?
KFC Only
Happy Fried Chicken GIFGiphy"I searched for a type of fried chicken and ended up with a hentai… I was surprised."
Numbers
"In mathematics, there is a typesetting programming called "LaTeX" which specializes in math symbols. Then there is another program called "GIMP" which stands for GNU Image Manipulation Program. Anyway, I was working on something and at one point I googled "latex and gimp." It turns out that those results did not help me with typesetting math."
Soaked
"Oh man, I have a story for this one. When I was about 5 or 6 years old, I had a neighbor who would routinely challenge me to super soaker fights. As I didn't have one of my own, he'd always let me borrow one. When my birthday was coming up, I guess he decided it would be cool to find a super soaker for me as a gift and get his parents to buy it. He decided it was time to do some research, and googled "super soakers", clicking on the first link that popped up."
"Keep in mind this was the early 2000's, and SafeSearch options didn't really exist yet. Lo and behold, this poor child opened a porn website dedicated to photos and videos not of supersoakers mind you. He immediately screamed, and tried to exit out. As it was the early 2000's, the computer didn't exactly have very much processing power, and decided it was a good time to freeze up."
So, here's a little kid who has been traumatized by pornographic images that are now frozen on to his computer. What's worse, his parents weren't home at the time. In a panic, he ran over to my house and asked my mom for help. In tears, he explained to her exactly what happened."
"My mom had to call his parents and explain, though it was hard for her to get all the info out between her laughter. She still laughs about the story to this day. Neighbor searched "super soakers," ended up with a frozen image of porn burned into his computer screen."
- Sthepker
Cleave
"My wife is a science teacher and was doing a unit on rock properties. She searched for rock color, rock hardness and a few others, but when it came to "cleavage" she didn't think that there was any kind besides rock, so she just searched cleavage."
"Is English her second language? We were giggling over "cleavage" as pubescent boys at least as far back as the 90s."
"Discovering the term in the science book was uproariously funny for the whole class because my female teacher had some impressive cleavage of her own and the "not this kind" while indicating herself tickled all the hormonal funny bones in the class."
Gifts
Rihanna No GIFGiphy"I had seen a cute video of a little girl getting a new toy as a gift and getting really excited and dancing for it. It was adorable, and I wanted to find it again to show my boyfriend. So I typed in "girl gets a new toy."
There is no safe place on the web. So we are our only hope to stay innocent until or eyes are tainted. Beware the rabbit holes kids.
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Redditor H5N1BirdFlu wanted to discuss the moments in life that left us haunted and shook, so they asked:
"What is the creepiest or most unexplained event that you have ever experienced?"
I've seen so much creepiness I wouldn't know where to begin.
Deal
Walter White Wink GIF by Breaking BadGiphy"One car from one direction, and another car from the other direction stopped in front of my house. Both drivers got out and one gave the other a briefcase. Now that I am older I am guessing it was some kind of drug deal or something but at the time I found it very weird."
yapastaocho
'The Entertainer'
"We had a little copper music box that would start playing on its own. It was a man sitting at a player-piano and it would play 'The Entertainer' song. Now, I know that music boxes and such can spring (for lack of a better word) forward and play a few notes, but this thing would act like someone had wound it up and would play for a minute or two completely at random."
MercuryCrest
He?
"Me and and someone I used to know in high school way back when met to catch up. We were talking about our views on religion at some park. When we were walking back to our cars some guy said he had overheard us. We interacted a little and then went to our cars. I told her how awkward I felt knowing he overheard everything. She looked at me and said, 'He?'”
"After some comparing notes we realized we’d seen and heard entirely different people. She’d seen an elderly woman. I’d seen a middle aged man. Only problem is we only talked to the one person."
AccomplishedAuthor53
Overnight
"I usually go hiking and stay in the forest overnight, sleeping in a bivy and sometimes under a tarp. Now it's important to say I'm based in Europe. So no wild animals to be afraid of because usually they just boot it as soon as they notice you."
"So one winter night I'm sleeping under my tarp which connects to the ground on one side. It's in an area where there were fierce battles in the forrest on the border between Germany and Belgium in WWII."
"I hear something walking in the leaves, which is normal. There are always deer and ferral pigs on and about. But this time it comes closer and closer until I hear it right on the other side of my tarp and it starts growling. Its a noise I gad never heard and for a moment I was frozen trying to figure out what it might be and what to do."
"But I just decided to yell back and that did the trick. The animal walked a few steps and then turned back to growl once more before finally retreating."
"Let's put it this way, I didn't sleep for a while after that. I looked up the noise and think it was a badger."
Forest_Walkin
Devoured
Episode 4 Abc GIF by The BachelorGiphy"My family used to raise cattle. One morning I came out to check on them and I found one of the heifers had been more or less completely devoured."
"This same cow was perfectly fine the day before. There was nothing left but some hide, bones, and intestines. Thing is none of the predators that are in my area would be able to kill and eat an entire cow within the course of one night. Much less leave so little behind."
Aussieshepman
Poor cows. They live a rough life.
The Night Before
Get Out Omg GIF by Get Out MovieGiphy"When I was a kid, we lived in a kinda rural area. One night we came home late from an Uncle's house and there was a car parked up the road from our house with the headlights on."
"My mom suggested to my dad that we go see if they need help, he said no, so we went inside. Next morning police knocked on the door, a cyclist had spotted a body in the ditch exactly where the car was parked the night before."
Tpeest
Documents
"I have had a strange thing happen recently. I was waiting for my tax documents to come in so I could do my taxes. I had three documents that I put on my bedside table until I had the time."
"I decided to do it the other day and I couldn't find one of them. I tore the house apart, quizzed my husband (who swore he never touched it), checked the garbage, etc. I had resigned myself to the fact I would have to request another one, when it arrived in the mail."
"It was the same one, exact same information. I was really confused but grateful. I checked into it, it was not sent twice as far as the office could tell me."
"I don't know what to think. I KNOW I had that document because I had done some calculations with it. It's been itching at me like crazy."
monitormonkey
About 30 Feet
"A few months ago I was sitting in my living room on the couch, watching tv with a family member late at night. We have a high ceiling with a couple of rectangular windows at the very top of the wall just under where it meets the ceiling. The windows are so high (about 30 feet) we really only have them for natural lighting."
"So on the night in question, a green laser beam suddenly shown down through one of the windows, seemingly scanned the entire living room before stopping and pointing the beam right next to my family member for about 10 seconds and then disappearing entirely. It had to be either a drone or from some sort of flying aircraft. I live in a relatively secluded place which made the situation all the more unsettling."
0friday
Find Her
"Pretty sure I witnessed a kidnapping once and it still lives rent free in my head (the woman lost her slipper when she was trying to get away and i took a picture of it that i still have for some reason). I did indeed report it to police right after I saw it occur but they were pretty blasé about it and I never ended up being able to determine what they did to investigate."
ergaster8213
From Behind
the exorcist shadow GIFGiphy"I was in Jr High and had really long hair. I got up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, and almost tripped on a shoe on the floor. I bent down to move it and it felt like someone grabbed my entire pony tail and yanked it. I also could not sleep facing the wall for the longest time because it always felt like someone or something was right there behind me."
cheeseburgerphone182
Never face the wall. Life lesson.
These were some harrowing experiences, and we're glad these Redditors made it out to tell the story.
Do you have any similar experiences? Let us know in the comments below.
Redditor NeedSomeSparkInLife wanted to know who would be willing to share, so they asked:
"What makes you not want to be intimate with your SO?"
I'm an easily turned off person.
So it doesn't take much.
Desire
Bored Season 5 GIF by The OfficeGiphy"Taking a moment to realize I'm the only one that makes sexual advances in the relationship. Makes me not want it. People think men only want sex for face value but a lot of men actually want the feeling of being desired more so."
Relative-Hour-9359
Anger Issues
"I've always heard of fighting then having sex after. Fighting has always made me not want it. The last thing I want to do when someone pisses me off is have sex with them. What made it worse is she always wanted to when we were arguing which made the argument worse when I refused."
DaMoonRulez_1
"I think you're supposed to resolve your fight, realize that you care for each other a lot, move past it, then have the passion because of that. Not fight right into sex."
Ksp-or-GTFO
Take a Shower
"My ex and I were together for nearly 7 years, but his hygiene never improved, so we stopped being intimate like, 3 years before I finally broke up with him. He showered only once a week, but he worked in kitchens, so he was sweaty and greasy all the time."
"He had an infected tooth, so he constantly had bad breath, but he refused to visit a dentist, even when he had the money to afford dental work. He stopped working out within the first year of us being together, which sucked because he would get jealous if I went to the gym by myself or with my girlfriends, but he refused to come with me."
GreenChorizo
Sober Time
"Personally, the only issue I have is my SO's drinking. He just becomes an unattractive person when he's drunk. It's one thing if we're both out socializing and drinking together occasionally, but he drinks almost every day, sitting on the couch in front of the TV and to the point of sloppy drunkenness way too often. His face changes, his posture changes, his personality changes... I just get so turned off."
WeptSiren3113
Hang Up
Art Hello GIF by LINDSEY L33Giphy"When they are glued to their phones non stop! Put that s**t down and look at me before we go to bed!"
Palmwine
"I really dislike this too. Makes me feel alone in the relationship."
RealBrownPerson
No phones in bed. Hard rule for many of us to follow.
Step Back
Be Quiet Go Away GIF by Ryn DeanGiphy"When I make a move, and then get the feeling she's not really in the mood/would only do it to please me. I want us both to have a good time, not only me. So when she seems not into it, I take a step back."
Level-Plate8372
Calm Down
"To be brutally honest, her anxiety and insecurity makes sex such a hassle. She doesn’t believe anything I say about wanting her, she can almost never relax during sex, she doesn’t take time to enjoy it, and if God forbid I have any trouble finishing, she takes it more personally than anything, which of course puts more pressure on me to finish, which then makes it almost impossible."
Ben_Franklinstein
When at Wal-Mart
"When they’ve done something really nasty/unkind that day. Cruelty is the most ugly thing a person can show, in my eyes. I had a boyfriend that I went to Wal-Mart with and he ended up flipping off and storming right past the sweet little old man that checks the receipts at the door."
"It was partially about how I used to check receipts and I remembered how I felt when people treated me like that- but I also remember the look on the little old man’s face and just how disgusted I was with my partner being so nasty about it."
"I couldn’t touch him after that and I got grossed out when he touched me. And then I started to notice how he was nasty to other people as well. It eventually led to our break up."
spxdergirl
33 Years In
"My husband used to dislike his job - he’d come home and do nothing but bi**h. After awhile, I just gave up trying to cheer him up with sex - you can only try so long. So, we had a long dry spell - like, whatever you think a dry spell would be, it’s longer. When someone is constantly annoyed, well, it’s hard to feel amorous."
"Anyway, he early retired (54) like a month before Covid kicked in and by autumn that year, well, let’s just say we’re back to what we were like when we first met. He’s not pissed off all the time. (I’m retired as well, and let’s just say, afternoon nookie is such a perk, as is morning nookie and 3am nookie because you can sleep in!) I’m glad we stayed together. Going on 33 years and we’re just so happy."
NicInNS
Rage
Angry Inside Out GIF by Disney PixarGiphy"Feeling angry. I hate feeling angry. I don't like being around other people when angry. So I'll go for a walk, a drive etc, and just clear my head."
jackfaire
It seems like "dead bed," as some folks call it, can stem from many things, from mood, attraction, hygiene, and more.
Do you have anything to add to this list? Let us know in the comments.