People change. People learn and grow. That is the hope, that we will evolve into better humans.
Now I do give some people leeway as age and experience fashions them into better forms of themselves, especially for people who spend many formative years as "bullies."
One of the most bullied groups is the LGBTQIA community. Sadly many inflict inhumane cruelty on them.
And because too many others are just confused about themselves. Hurt people, hurt people. That is a very accurate saying. And often the people lashing out at the LGBTQIA community are just too afraid to admit, they want a ticket to the party.
Redditor u/straight-up-bswanted to hear some hard but fantastic truths from people who found their truth by asking:Previous homophobes who turned out to be gay, what's your story?I've lost count of the number of people I personally know, who were just plain malicious to gay people. They would fling slurs and do bodily harm. They couldn't handle being around people "like that" they'd say. Then cut to a decade later, and there I see them shaking it on a speaker to Whitney. Mhmmm...
1-
Sorry Dog GIF by swerkGiphy"I wasn't a homophobe I think, but more... I guess a little judgy about it. I lived in the middle of nowhere and was homeschooled with extremely limited access to the internet, so really only had my father and stepmother as sources."
"My father's opinion was that all gays are really only doing it for attention, and my stepmother would tell us stories about how her family members would get disowned and written out of the will (a cousin of her's) when they came out of the closet."
"They also made it a stipulation that in order to be in their will we had to have four kids, and we could not adopt until we exhausted all other methods of natural conception. When I was about 14, I had started reading fanfiction. I was into Sonic at the time (cringy, I know) and stumbled upon the ships. It slowly turned to me reading more and more gay fanfics, as I started to read from other fandoms I was into."
"Once I got into the Harry Potter fandom properly, I realized that damn, I was ticking a lot of these boxes... Oh crap, I might be bi! Still haven't had a chance to properly explore me sexuality yet, and it's not really a concern of mine at the moment. I live with my bio mother now, and she's totally cool with me being bi curious. She's bi herself, apparently!"
2-
"Well, I grew up in such a hetero world that I genuinely didn't know what gay people were until I was 14 or 15. I just thought everyone was straight; which is why when I started crushing on girls when I was 13, I thought I was a perverted psychopath who needed locking up. I used to fake sick so I wouldn't have to go into school, so that girls wouldn't have to be anywhere near me. Eventually they started bullying me for being such a loner anyway."
"When I was 14, 2 senior year girls were expelled for being seen outside of school grounds, in their school uniforms, making out. That was what confirmed being gay was bad for me. We even had an entire religion module on why gay marriage shouldn't be legalised, and you had to back up your answers with bible quotes. A rumour went around about one girl being a lesbian, and I went along with the bullies, called her a freak behind her back."
"Well 3 years after that, I wrote a letter to my parents explaining how I just couldn't get myself to like boys, even after dating them. My mum picked it up mid way through writing it, read it aloud, and just started laughing. I said it'd be ok if she wanted to kick me out of the house. She said she couldn't give a crap and that I shouldn't either. Still got bullied for a while but eventually I found friends that accepted me."
Best Excuses For Late Assignments That Were Actually True | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
3-
"Gonna be similar to a lot of people here. Grew up in a super conservative religious family where gay people were regularly mocked and called immoral. My cousin is gay and came out when I was in middle school. The family refused to talk to him for about 10 years after that and that scared me so much as a kid I just suppressed any gay thoughts I might have. I ended up parroting the hate I heard from parents and continued to do so until I went to college."
"In college I was finally far enough away from them that I wasn't scared of hiding anymore and kind of figured out who I was (I didn't know I was gay until probably junior year. I had just pushed the possibility out of my head.) Since then I've told my mom who is a bit more chill (though she doesn't believe me. She thinks it's just God testing me) but no one else in the family. Kids mimic what they see, but in more accepting environments people have a better chance of realizing who they are (in my experience)."
4-
"I wasn't a serious homophobe. I didn't go out of my way to diss people for being part of the LGBT community but I didn't support them and kinda thought they were making a mistake. There were a lot of people who used being gay to get attention and I really didn't like it and since I didn't notice that they weren't actually gay, I thought that was natural."
"Secondly, I was using excuses of 'Aren't you too young to figure that out?' when talking to my friends. Around the quarantine, I started talking to this person who was explaining to me the LGBT community. I still wasn't very convinced but I tried to keep an open mind at least. After a while, we kinda went our separate ways."
"My friend started coming over more, and we started texting a lot more as well and I found myself staring at my friend in awe, hugging her and never wanting to let go, feeling sadder and disappointed when she would bail on me rather when my other friends did it and thinking about her a lot more. I haven't told her about my feelings yet but I'm planning to."
5-
romantic lady and the tramp GIFGiphy"I thought everyone wanted to make out with members of all sexes, and that they could choose to not make out with members of the same sex if they wanted to. Turns out, I'm just bisexual (not pan because I'm more into women than I am men)."
See how much happier and freeing it can be once we embrace our true selves? All of these people finally just gave up fighting, from within. And it's smoother when you take sometime to learn about the things you don't understand. Continue...
6-
jesus deal with it GIFGiphy"Was raised Christian and grew up being told that being lgbt was A) A straight ticket to hell B) On the same level as Beastiality or incest C) A choice, and D) The worst thing you can do to your family.
After thinking a long time about how much of christianity made zero sense and noticing that God literally never contacted me, I also questioned how good a God can be if he'd make someone a certain way then eternally torture them for not living their entire life rejecting such a huge part of themselves."
"Not to mention how they'd have to either live their entire life alone because of something they can't control, or force themselves to be with someone they did not feel attraction for. I rejected the religion on this basis. Then over time realized that it's not straight to daydream about marrying your best female friend. Then even later on I realized it's not cis that in a bunch of those daydreams, I was a guy."
- Rook_45
7-
"Grew up in a christian conservative family. Became a homophobe because that's what Jesus wanted, apparently. That's what my family taught me. 2016 rolls around and suddenly my christian family stops caring about any of their morals."
"I realized they didn't believe a thing they taught me, and I didn't have any reason to believe it either. So I kept the good stuff (love others) and dropped the hateful junk. I don't really consider myself gay, but I am a guy and I'm dating a guy, because they're a good person and that's the only thing worth considering."
- Indigoh
8-
"I grew up Baptist with a very LGBT+ phobic step-father. I was very (cringily) into Sonic and around middle school found out what shipping was. I was mortified that two guys would be shipped together, "They're both boys, the bible says that's bad!" However, I was repressing my interest in it. I would often look up gay ships with Shadow or Sonic, just to look at them angrily, like any repressed 12 year old would do."
"Eventually, I admitted my interest in it to myself, but also said I'd never support it in real life. Fast forward a few years and I end up having a MAJOR crush on a girl. My first real love was a girl, and at that time, I thought I was a girl too. That ended in heartbreak, but that's another story. Soon I start to question my gender because another classmate of mine who I was friends with came out as a trans guy. At first, I didn't realize the teacher was calling on him and was confused as to where [his deadname] was."
Eventually I figured it out and my own gender was up for question. I started making more male main OC's and realized I had a much better time relating to them than I ever did my female ones. I quickly realized I was a trans guy as well. Since then I've been questioning my sexuality and trying out different labels for it; but I'm pretty sure Pansexual covers it."
9-
"Trans "girl" here. I got sucked into the alt-right pipeline in 2015 before i knew what being trans was but boy did I get introduced to it. I was told by Ben Shapiro and all the other morons like him that being trans and nonbinary (my current and more accurate identity) is a mental illness and that people who are those things are delusional and easily "triggered snowflakes."
"It took a serious come to Jesus moment to get out of my bad ways of thinking but i still had sort of a mental fog for reasons unknown. that sort of all fell apart the moment quarantine hit. now i'm a lot happier but I still feel horrible for all the crap I spread on the internet a while ago."
10-
I Love You Kiss GIF by GAYCATION with Ellen Page and Ian DanielGiphy"I was like, one of those "I'm not homophobic but..." people until I was about 15, turns out the "but..." was "but I am a massive lesbian."
- BoomToll
11-
"I wouldn't say homophobe, I grew up with a pretty accepting father, my mom also accepted me when I came out as bi (I'm a girl) but really had a homophobic reaction towards my brother when he also came out as bi. I repeatedly got bullied growing up because I was a tomboy/large and got labeled as "butch", etc. I still have trouble accepting myself as I am because of it."
12-
"It's pretty simple. Being raised in a conservative state and christian family 🙂 you're taught to hate anyone who doesn't fit their mold, and subconsciously you know you're one of those "others", but you deny it and project that hate onto anyone else. I'll never understand how people can claim to worship a god who is loving, forgiving, sees humans as no better or worse than each other, yet they reject and exclude people from the "kingdom" or even target them as an outlet for their rage. So glad I escaped that barbaric way of life and thought."
13-
"Basically my mom was kind of my only friend growing up because I'm on the autism spectrum and didn't develop "proper" social skills until I was like 10. I would believe everything she told me without questioning it. She also happens to be part of some pretty cult-like conservative groups so yeah I unfortunately had some pretty twisted views on stuff for awhile. When I was 14 I developed feelings for some girl I knew at school."
"Don't really wanna get into all of the details but I tried my hardest to convince myself that I only liked her as a friend and had feelings for one of my guy friends instead, which failed miserably. After speaking to a therapist and crap I finally started to accept myself as bi and realize how much of a terrible person my mom is. Im 17 now and looking forward to moving out soon."
14-
"In high school, I had 2 best friends and we were part of a larger group of about two dozen friends. One guy in the larger group was outright hostile to anything gay. He hated any musical group with at least one known member who was gay, he hated guys wearing pink, and there were times he got so angry it would take a few of us to hold him back and keep him from attacking anyone (male or female) he perceived as gay. Found out at our ten-year reunion that all of it was due to his ultra-religious father who had disowned his own brother when he came out as gay."
"The uncle had been disowned by the entire family, called everything from evil to "possessed by Satan himself" to mentally deranged, etc. The last thing this guy wanted was to be treated the same way because, you guessed it, he was gay. His a-hole family disowned him, pretends he never even existed. I never saw him after high school, but others who have said he's a changed person, truly remorseful about the way he acted."
15-
Cartoon Yes GIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphy"Wasn't really that homophobic but I thought it was weird but in middle school my friend came out as bi and basically all those thoughts went away and I turned out to be bi."
16-
"I was raised in a religious cult and genuinely believed if you were gay, you were going to Hell. I was never violent and I genuinely tried not to be what I thought was hateful, but I know for sure I unfortunately still hurt a lot of people with my judgements."
"What was worse was that I was so hypocritical and so turned around, I was sexting with other guys and struggled to stop, thinking of my want to be active with other guys as an addiction sent by the Devil. I was tearing myself apart, telling myself I would just pray enough and get right, and I had to be the hope for others."
"I still have a ton of religious trauma from what happened to me, and even after I initially left the church, I didn't seek help and hurt people I romantically got in touch with. I have a long ways to go, but I'm worlds away from where I used to be. I need to be the best I can be because I never want my future kids to grow up the same way I did."
17-
"I was actually spoken to by a policeman 3 years ago for shoving a gay man after we had a disagreement in a pub. I was very homophobic in every sense. I wouldn't eat the food if the server was gay (couldn't bring myself to eat it), I left my friend group in university after a gay man was joining us. Couldn't see them on tv or listen to gay songs. Things like that."
"It's probably very complex why I hated them so much. A mixture of how they ruined my life and how I didn't want them to contaminate or hurt me. I was married for a few years and eventually I just felt really sick of it. I watched Hannibal the TV show and it was the beginning of coming to terms with it. I have a boyfriend now. He's really nice."
18-
"I grew up in your typical Christian bs, American dysfunctional household, knew really early on in life I wasn't normal so through school I was pretty hateful of gay and especially trans people and wouldn't associate with anyone that was. We had one trans girl in high school that I wouldn't associate with in any way, I didn't make fun of her or say anything awful but I deliberately stayed away from her. In secret I wished I could do the same and not let all the crap people said bother me but I didn't come out until I was 26. I really hate who I used to be and I wish I could do everything over."
19-
Golden State Warriors No GIF by NBAGiphy"I wasn't really a homophobe, but I was a self-homophobe. I respected effeminate and queer guys but any time I had a gay or effeminate thought I'd think "stop being a freaking f*ggot." Even after I figured out I was bi I still struggled with my masculinity for years."
20-
"I'm bi but I started to learn to be more comfortable with myself, as I am sure a lot of us did. We're taught that to be ourselves is a bad thing when it's not. For parents of any kind, let your kid be.
"Just because you're a lesbian, it doesn't make you less of a bein'."- Marge Simpson."
The truth is simple. Don't use that negativity for bad. Release it. Love is love is love. Let's just be people. Rant over.
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Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.