
Image by mohamed Hassan from Pixabay |
People change. People learn and grow. That is the hope, that we will evolve into better humans.
Now I do give some people leeway as age and experience fashions them into better forms of themselves, especially for people who spend many formative years as "bullies."
One of the most bullied groups is the LGBTQIA community. Sadly many inflict inhumane cruelty on them.
And because too many others are just confused about themselves. Hurt people, hurt people. That is a very accurate saying. And often the people lashing out at the LGBTQIA community are just too afraid to admit, they want a ticket to the party.
Redditor u/straight-up-bs wanted to hear some hard but fantastic truths from people who found their truth by asking: Previous homophobes who turned out to be gay, what's your story?I've lost count of the number of people I personally know, who were just plain malicious to gay people. They would fling slurs and do bodily harm. They couldn't handle being around people "like that" they'd say. Then cut to a decade later, and there I see them shaking it on a speaker to Whitney. Mhmmm...
1-
"I wasn't a homophobe I think, but more... I guess a little judgy about it. I lived in the middle of nowhere and was homeschooled with extremely limited access to the internet, so really only had my father and stepmother as sources."
"My father's opinion was that all gays are really only doing it for attention, and my stepmother would tell us stories about how her family members would get disowned and written out of the will (a cousin of her's) when they came out of the closet."
"They also made it a stipulation that in order to be in their will we had to have four kids, and we could not adopt until we exhausted all other methods of natural conception. When I was about 14, I had started reading fanfiction. I was into Sonic at the time (cringy, I know) and stumbled upon the ships. It slowly turned to me reading more and more gay fanfics, as I started to read from other fandoms I was into."
"Once I got into the Harry Potter fandom properly, I realized that damn, I was ticking a lot of these boxes... Oh crap, I might be bi! Still haven't had a chance to properly explore me sexuality yet, and it's not really a concern of mine at the moment. I live with my bio mother now, and she's totally cool with me being bi curious. She's bi herself, apparently!"
2-
"Well, I grew up in such a hetero world that I genuinely didn't know what gay people were until I was 14 or 15. I just thought everyone was straight; which is why when I started crushing on girls when I was 13, I thought I was a perverted psychopath who needed locking up. I used to fake sick so I wouldn't have to go into school, so that girls wouldn't have to be anywhere near me. Eventually they started bullying me for being such a loner anyway."
"When I was 14, 2 senior year girls were expelled for being seen outside of school grounds, in their school uniforms, making out. That was what confirmed being gay was bad for me. We even had an entire religion module on why gay marriage shouldn't be legalised, and you had to back up your answers with bible quotes. A rumour went around about one girl being a lesbian, and I went along with the bullies, called her a freak behind her back."
"Well 3 years after that, I wrote a letter to my parents explaining how I just couldn't get myself to like boys, even after dating them. My mum picked it up mid way through writing it, read it aloud, and just started laughing. I said it'd be ok if she wanted to kick me out of the house. She said she couldn't give a crap and that I shouldn't either. Still got bullied for a while but eventually I found friends that accepted me."
Best Excuses For Late Assignments That Were Actually True | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
3-
"Gonna be similar to a lot of people here. Grew up in a super conservative religious family where gay people were regularly mocked and called immoral. My cousin is gay and came out when I was in middle school. The family refused to talk to him for about 10 years after that and that scared me so much as a kid I just suppressed any gay thoughts I might have. I ended up parroting the hate I heard from parents and continued to do so until I went to college."
"In college I was finally far enough away from them that I wasn't scared of hiding anymore and kind of figured out who I was (I didn't know I was gay until probably junior year. I had just pushed the possibility out of my head.) Since then I've told my mom who is a bit more chill (though she doesn't believe me. She thinks it's just God testing me) but no one else in the family. Kids mimic what they see, but in more accepting environments people have a better chance of realizing who they are (in my experience)."
4-
"I wasn't a serious homophobe. I didn't go out of my way to diss people for being part of the LGBT community but I didn't support them and kinda thought they were making a mistake. There were a lot of people who used being gay to get attention and I really didn't like it and since I didn't notice that they weren't actually gay, I thought that was natural."
"Secondly, I was using excuses of 'Aren't you too young to figure that out?' when talking to my friends. Around the quarantine, I started talking to this person who was explaining to me the LGBT community. I still wasn't very convinced but I tried to keep an open mind at least. After a while, we kinda went our separate ways."
"My friend started coming over more, and we started texting a lot more as well and I found myself staring at my friend in awe, hugging her and never wanting to let go, feeling sadder and disappointed when she would bail on me rather when my other friends did it and thinking about her a lot more. I haven't told her about my feelings yet but I'm planning to."
5-
"I thought everyone wanted to make out with members of all sexes, and that they could choose to not make out with members of the same sex if they wanted to. Turns out, I'm just bisexual (not pan because I'm more into women than I am men)."
See how much happier and freeing it can be once we embrace our true selves? All of these people finally just gave up fighting, from within. And it's smoother when you take sometime to learn about the things you don't understand. Continue...
6-
"Was raised Christian and grew up being told that being lgbt was A) A straight ticket to hell B) On the same level as Beastiality or incest C) A choice, and D) The worst thing you can do to your family.
After thinking a long time about how much of christianity made zero sense and noticing that God literally never contacted me, I also questioned how good a God can be if he'd make someone a certain way then eternally torture them for not living their entire life rejecting such a huge part of themselves."
"Not to mention how they'd have to either live their entire life alone because of something they can't control, or force themselves to be with someone they did not feel attraction for. I rejected the religion on this basis. Then over time realized that it's not straight to daydream about marrying your best female friend. Then even later on I realized it's not cis that in a bunch of those daydreams, I was a guy."
- Rook_45
7-
"Grew up in a christian conservative family. Became a homophobe because that's what Jesus wanted, apparently. That's what my family taught me. 2016 rolls around and suddenly my christian family stops caring about any of their morals."
"I realized they didn't believe a thing they taught me, and I didn't have any reason to believe it either. So I kept the good stuff (love others) and dropped the hateful junk. I don't really consider myself gay, but I am a guy and I'm dating a guy, because they're a good person and that's the only thing worth considering."
- Indigoh
8-
"I grew up Baptist with a very LGBT+ phobic step-father. I was very (cringily) into Sonic and around middle school found out what shipping was. I was mortified that two guys would be shipped together, "They're both boys, the bible says that's bad!" However, I was repressing my interest in it. I would often look up gay ships with Shadow or Sonic, just to look at them angrily, like any repressed 12 year old would do."
"Eventually, I admitted my interest in it to myself, but also said I'd never support it in real life. Fast forward a few years and I end up having a MAJOR crush on a girl. My first real love was a girl, and at that time, I thought I was a girl too. That ended in heartbreak, but that's another story. Soon I start to question my gender because another classmate of mine who I was friends with came out as a trans guy. At first, I didn't realize the teacher was calling on him and was confused as to where [his deadname] was."
Eventually I figured it out and my own gender was up for question. I started making more male main OC's and realized I had a much better time relating to them than I ever did my female ones. I quickly realized I was a trans guy as well. Since then I've been questioning my sexuality and trying out different labels for it; but I'm pretty sure Pansexual covers it."
9-
"Trans "girl" here. I got sucked into the alt-right pipeline in 2015 before i knew what being trans was but boy did I get introduced to it. I was told by Ben Shapiro and all the other morons like him that being trans and nonbinary (my current and more accurate identity) is a mental illness and that people who are those things are delusional and easily "triggered snowflakes."
"It took a serious come to Jesus moment to get out of my bad ways of thinking but i still had sort of a mental fog for reasons unknown. that sort of all fell apart the moment quarantine hit. now i'm a lot happier but I still feel horrible for all the crap I spread on the internet a while ago."
10-
"I was like, one of those "I'm not homophobic but..." people until I was about 15, turns out the "but..." was "but I am a massive lesbian."
- BoomToll
11-
"I wouldn't say homophobe, I grew up with a pretty accepting father, my mom also accepted me when I came out as bi (I'm a girl) but really had a homophobic reaction towards my brother when he also came out as bi. I repeatedly got bullied growing up because I was a tomboy/large and got labeled as "butch", etc. I still have trouble accepting myself as I am because of it."
12-
"It's pretty simple. Being raised in a conservative state and christian family 🙂 you're taught to hate anyone who doesn't fit their mold, and subconsciously you know you're one of those "others", but you deny it and project that hate onto anyone else. I'll never understand how people can claim to worship a god who is loving, forgiving, sees humans as no better or worse than each other, yet they reject and exclude people from the "kingdom" or even target them as an outlet for their rage. So glad I escaped that barbaric way of life and thought."
13-
"Basically my mom was kind of my only friend growing up because I'm on the autism spectrum and didn't develop "proper" social skills until I was like 10. I would believe everything she told me without questioning it. She also happens to be part of some pretty cult-like conservative groups so yeah I unfortunately had some pretty twisted views on stuff for awhile. When I was 14 I developed feelings for some girl I knew at school."
"Don't really wanna get into all of the details but I tried my hardest to convince myself that I only liked her as a friend and had feelings for one of my guy friends instead, which failed miserably. After speaking to a therapist and crap I finally started to accept myself as bi and realize how much of a terrible person my mom is. Im 17 now and looking forward to moving out soon."
14-
"In high school, I had 2 best friends and we were part of a larger group of about two dozen friends. One guy in the larger group was outright hostile to anything gay. He hated any musical group with at least one known member who was gay, he hated guys wearing pink, and there were times he got so angry it would take a few of us to hold him back and keep him from attacking anyone (male or female) he perceived as gay. Found out at our ten-year reunion that all of it was due to his ultra-religious father who had disowned his own brother when he came out as gay."
"The uncle had been disowned by the entire family, called everything from evil to "possessed by Satan himself" to mentally deranged, etc. The last thing this guy wanted was to be treated the same way because, you guessed it, he was gay. His a-hole family disowned him, pretends he never even existed. I never saw him after high school, but others who have said he's a changed person, truly remorseful about the way he acted."
15-
"Wasn't really that homophobic but I thought it was weird but in middle school my friend came out as bi and basically all those thoughts went away and I turned out to be bi."
16-
"I was raised in a religious cult and genuinely believed if you were gay, you were going to Hell. I was never violent and I genuinely tried not to be what I thought was hateful, but I know for sure I unfortunately still hurt a lot of people with my judgements."
"What was worse was that I was so hypocritical and so turned around, I was sexting with other guys and struggled to stop, thinking of my want to be active with other guys as an addiction sent by the Devil. I was tearing myself apart, telling myself I would just pray enough and get right, and I had to be the hope for others."
"I still have a ton of religious trauma from what happened to me, and even after I initially left the church, I didn't seek help and hurt people I romantically got in touch with. I have a long ways to go, but I'm worlds away from where I used to be. I need to be the best I can be because I never want my future kids to grow up the same way I did."
17-
"I was actually spoken to by a policeman 3 years ago for shoving a gay man after we had a disagreement in a pub. I was very homophobic in every sense. I wouldn't eat the food if the server was gay (couldn't bring myself to eat it), I left my friend group in university after a gay man was joining us. Couldn't see them on tv or listen to gay songs. Things like that."
"It's probably very complex why I hated them so much. A mixture of how they ruined my life and how I didn't want them to contaminate or hurt me. I was married for a few years and eventually I just felt really sick of it. I watched Hannibal the TV show and it was the beginning of coming to terms with it. I have a boyfriend now. He's really nice."
18-
"I grew up in your typical Christian bs, American dysfunctional household, knew really early on in life I wasn't normal so through school I was pretty hateful of gay and especially trans people and wouldn't associate with anyone that was. We had one trans girl in high school that I wouldn't associate with in any way, I didn't make fun of her or say anything awful but I deliberately stayed away from her. In secret I wished I could do the same and not let all the crap people said bother me but I didn't come out until I was 26. I really hate who I used to be and I wish I could do everything over."
19-
"I wasn't really a homophobe, but I was a self-homophobe. I respected effeminate and queer guys but any time I had a gay or effeminate thought I'd think "stop being a freaking f*ggot." Even after I figured out I was bi I still struggled with my masculinity for years."
20-
"I'm bi but I started to learn to be more comfortable with myself, as I am sure a lot of us did. We're taught that to be ourselves is a bad thing when it's not. For parents of any kind, let your kid be.
"Just because you're a lesbian, it doesn't make you less of a bein'."- Marge Simpson."
The truth is simple. Don't use that negativity for bad. Release it. Love is love is love. Let's just be people. Rant over.
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Comedy is in a very tricky place right now.
There is so much to NOT laugh about in this world.
In truth, many of us have forgotten how to laugh.
And certain jokes that are told, make people afraid to laugh.
So what do we do?
We tell inappropriate jokes apparently.
Let's hear some...
Redditor CrewCreation wanted to hear some "risky" comedy. So they asked:
"What’s the best morbid joke you know?"
***WARNING: THIS ARTICLE CONTAINS SENSITIVE MATERIAL. PROCEED WITH CAUTION!***
I can't think of anything hilarious at the moment. Make us LOL.
Lady
"I have this friend, love him to bits, but his wife has a tendency of just constantly showing everyone pictures of their son at every social event. At the start it was understandable, but now I'm just like 'Lady, it's been two years; they're not going to find him.'"
UnoriginalUse
at 9am...
"Not the most morbid but I love Anthony Jeselnik’s story about his neighbor who has Alzheimer’s. 'One of my next door neighbors is a 90 year old man suffering from Alzheimer’s. And every single morning at 9am he knocks on my door and asks me if I have seen his wife.'"
"'Which means that every single morning at 9am I have to explain to a 90 year old man suffering from Alzheimer’s that his wife has been dead for quite some time. Now I’ve thought about moving. I have thought about just not answering my door in the morning. But to be honest, it’s worth it… just to see the smile on his face.”
dreagan021
Comedy?
"Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is."
GW2RNGR
"Why can't orphans play tennis? They get confused when they hear love."
JayDub506
People who make comedy are evil. LOL.
The Darkness
"Dark humor is like food; not everyone gets it."
storm_the_castle
God Laughs?
"A Holocaust survivor dies and goes to heaven, where she meets God. To break the tension she tells God a joke about the Holocaust, but God doesn’t laugh. The lady shrugs and says 'I guess you had to be there.'"
“'I guess you had to be there' is a common expression used when someone doesn’t laugh at a joke. It means that the comedy may not translate without the context of the situation."
"In this case the Holocaust survivor is saying it, meaning that during the Holocaust God was nowhere to be found. It’s not really a joke about the Holocaust, but the absurdity of belief in a benevolent God. Hilarious right?"
semimillennial
Oh Baby
"How many dead babies does it take to fix a light bulb? More than 3 cause my garage is still dark."
sirnibs3
I don't know whether to laugh or cry. Because I don't know what it says about us as people if we laugh. Oye.
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Life can change in an instant.
It can always change for the better.
Just ask any lottery winner.
Sadly, life can also take a turn for the worst and leave people shattered beyond repair.
Watching someone's life fall apart in a short amount of time is difficult.
You have to wonder if there really is such a thing as karma, bad luck, or Voodoo.
Redditor OkImagination5852 wanted to hear about the times we've been witness to personal disaster. They asked:
"People who witness a person's life crumble in a single day, what happened?"
I have lived through a lot of bad days. But thankfully they've been one disaster at a time days. So I guess I'm lucky.
Horror
"A friend of a friend had his entire family killed overnight. He was from my college and was home visiting his family. His parents, siblings, and extended family were all there together. One night, while they were all asleep, his father got up, took out a gun, and went on a shooting spree. He then killed himself."
"Everyone except this guy died on the spot. When my friend visited him at the hospital, the guy was still in shock. He had no idea why his father did that. This was more than a decade ago, and I have no idea how he's doing now."
DeadOnDeparture98
The IRS Called
"Knew a guy who had a nice house, wife, 3 kids. Machine shop in his garage, Snap On tool truck, sign out front, great mechanic. Never incorporated, didn't pay taxes on his business, cash only. Took nice vacations, bought a boat, then a camper. Five years later, the IRS came. I don't know what they estimated he owed but they seized everything. He lives alone in a trailer now."
Nobody_Wins_13
2 at Once
"My mom’s dad and dad’s mom both died on the same day. Completely unrelated. We were pretty messed up for awhile. It was 2010. Mom's dad had emphysema (lifetime smoker) and was pretty sick for a few weeks. I was in college at the time and came home to be with him, because we knew he was about to pass. Dad's mom was in the nursing home, as she had had a stroke and also had dementia (she often thought I was my dad, she thought we were in the 70s, etc.)."
"She took a turn for the worst, and so my dad left the hospice my grandpa was at and went to be with her. The towns they were in were about an hour apart, so I stayed behind with my mom to comfort her when her dad passed. A few hours go by, and he passes peacefully (huge thanks to the hospice workers for their respect and grace during this time)."
"Within an hour or so of his passing, we get a call from my dad saying that his mother had passed as well. It was a terribly dark day in our family, and the next couple years for me in college were pretty much a blur. Thankfully, things got better in time and we are all doing well now."
She lost everything...
"Her husband left her after previously persuading her to remortgage their house to save his business and he's already made her take multiple credit cards out in her name. She lost everything. He did it the week after their youngest turned 18 so he wouldn't have to pay child support. He'd obviously been planning for years."
Ieatclowns
a black sheep...
"My cousin was in a motorcycle accident with her boyfriend. Her boyfriend died. She broke her back. When she was in the hospital she learned she was pregnant. It's been 16 years and we're still trying our best, she took an all too familiar path of drugs, burning bridges and more pregnancies."
"At this point she's fairly stable and clean as far as I know but a bit of a black sheep. Her mother has custody of all one of her kids. She has her youngest and seems to be doing good by her, but who knows. It's been hard on everyone, especially her mother and her brother."
Paradigm6790
Well this is the stuff of nightmares. I'm grateful for every moment I have alive.
Several lawsuits are filed...
"Here is multiple lives ruined in an instant. A friend was over at some other people house, drugs were involved. They had been playing with a gun. My friend points the gun at a girl, pulls the trigger and shoots her in the head. Girl dies, friend gets locked up until he turns 18. Parents at the house get arrested because they knew what the kids were doing. Friends mom goes into a depression and ends up getting evicted from her house. Several lawsuits are filed."
sentondan
Gone Forever
"It was me... got in a car accident and suffered a traumatic spinal and brain injury that I had no chance of surviving... a 7 vertebrae spinal fusion, yrs of physical and mental therapy... 18 yrs later and the pieces, though many forever gone, are finally coming back together."
2boneskuLL
A Bad Night
"He trashed his fathers vacation house with an axe before setting it on fire, stabbed the neighbor nearly to death, stole their car and then crashed it into a cop car so bad the cops were injured. He also got his girl pregnant, so once he is out of prison they're gonna start a family."
Dumbing_It_Down
"dangerous"
"Pregnant friend found out husband (43) was having an affair with young woman (19) who was a volunteer at their ecolodge. Friend had 'dangerous' pregnancy and had to spend a lot of time in bed. This betrayal destroyed their marriage, split the little town where they lived and caused two employees to quit because witnessing the affair going on was just too painful."
"She had a beautiful baby girl (to go with her other two girls, lol) and after the breakup was clinically depressed. Worked hard and got a divorce (she had a great lawyer); got the business back on track; beat her depression and now is planning a great vacation trip with her girls."
"Meantime, Dad has generous visitation but just 'hasn't gotten around to' buying a car seat so he can pick up the baby and for a long time asked my friend, 'Can you drop the girls off at my Mom's?'"
NoBSforGma
Lost it All...
"Recently, I know of a guy that had borrowed all his family’s life savings for the most part to participate in the whole game stop stock thing happening… he lost every penny of his money (credit card advances), and his parents retirement, and every other dime he could get… it makes me sick to even think of it."
Bangbangsmashsmash
Well those are A LOT of bad days. Good luck to all of you.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
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Those who are wealthy have the luxury of acquiring the best of the best–whether it's dinner at a Michelin-starred restaurant or status-identifying clothing from Chanel or Yves Saint Laurent.
But even the rich have their limits when it comes to frivolous spending before casting judgment on friends or colleagues.
Curious to hear examples of this, Redditor Sasquatchfl asked:
"Rich people of Reddit, what's the craziest/most unethical thing you've seen people in your circle spend money on?"
Expensive experiences were a priority over prized possessions.
Live Sushi
"An ex worked for Dell in the late 90s/early 2000s. He was pretty high up and there were lots of partiers in his work circle. Went to a party hosted by one of the dellionaires and there was a body sushi girl. I don’t know what was paid to her, but it was one of the most ridiculous things I’ve ever seen."
– 5hrs4hrs3hrs2hrs1mor
Pissing Contest
"Paid a group of homeless guys to only use the bathroom on a competitors business. Eventually bought that place for a massive discount."
– Haboobalub
Let's Work Out
"My mother woke up one morning and said she felt she was way too fat and she wanted to get a treadmill. The treadmill wouldn’t be a problem, but then she saw where it would be and didn’t like the lighting. Fast forward 2 months later there’s a 40k outdoor gym built and connected to the house. She hasn’t used it once."
– Herrera5449_
Taking A Leap
"Travelled with a bunch of ex 'friends' all fairly wealthy."
"First trip to SE Asia together and as an ex-local I was a de-facto tour guide (despite not being there in over a decade)"
"They somehow found and offered a bunch of kids diving off cliffs to jump for spare change."
"They increasingly challenged each other to land their coins as close to the cliff base and small surrounding rocks for the kids to dive for."
– Satakans
It's about the finer things in life.
Expensive Party Gag
"A 3k ouija board from Gwen Paltrow's store. I didn't even know it was a thing until the dude brought it out. I really wanted to cut it up and see what it was made from. Looked nice don't get me wrong but the thing is basically a party gag. For 3 grand, it better summon a demon that's all I'm saying."
– con_this
Slow Burn
"$600 USD for a candle."
– Jeffranks
It's not always about the things you acquire.
Minor Inconvenience
"I know a guy who went to get a new drivers license and had to pay ~$100k in back parking tickets, then joked about it after."
"Apparently he couldn't get a permit to park in front of his house, so he just did anyway, and accepted like a $200 fine everyday."
– melodyze
For A Successful Election
"Not me, but I know a guy who crowd funded (read: threw a bunch of money into, then solicited more at a flea market) $80,000 toward his friend's DA election campaign. The guy won. So far, this has paid back at least $120K in avoided legal fees. I know some rich people. Most of them are more boring than you think. Hell, most of them drive Hondas, Toyotas, and Nissans."
– KP_Wrath
The Lance Corporal
"I was stationed with a Lance Corporal who was wealthy beyond means after selling some of his patents. He owned and piloted four helicopters. Lived in a palatial waterfront house in Jacksonville, NC."
"The cheapest one cost 400K. That's the one he trained on. The most expensive was about 1.2 million. That's 1.2 million 1981 dollars. The two he's got now are about 5 million each."
"Had a floating landing pad out back moored to his dock and another landing pad in the back yard. Kept two helicopters and a Rolls inside his custom-built hangar at Norfolk International Airport."
"He drove a pair of Rolls-Royces. He also toyed with a 900K Miami-Vice type speedboat. He also housed and transported his squad to Camp Lejeune and back in a custom mini-bus."
– ApplicationConnect55
The dude was very giving and lived a very clean life. He'd fly us to Norfolk, pickup the car and we'd do our shopping and eating. Hop in a chopper and return home. He'd fly his fire team down to Miami on weekends. He kept a Limo there and wore a chauffer's outfit and did all the driving.
He bought a full-service and licensed pub in Northern Ireland. He lives there with his wife. Does a lot of charity work there. We still keep in touch."
– ApplicationConnect55
When there's plenty of money going around, there's no need to worry about a single thing.
That peace of mind is a luxury in itself.
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When marriages or relationships fall apart, infidelity is not always the cause.
Curious to hear from strangers online, Redditor Liam_Tang asked:
"People who've divorced, aside from adultery, what were the irreconcilable differences that ended the marriage?"

You think you know a person when you walk down the aisle.
These Redditors were in for a rude awakening.
Pet Neglect
"My wife divorced her ex for many reasons, but the final straw was when she went out of town for a few days, and when she got back he had not fed or given water to the dog. The dog lived a long and happy life after that."
– StrangeCrimes
Obsessed With A Crush
"Not me, but I had an old coworker that divorced his wife for spending their entire savings on candy crush and games of the same type."
– Hexis40
Compatibility Musts
"ITT: Intimacy (sex/romance), beliefs (religion/spirituality/politics), kids, and I haven’t seen it yet but it’s coming: finances."
"The big four. You REALLY need to discuss these things in detail BEFORE getting married."
– rabbiskittles
Physical violence is a legit reason for people to peace out of a relationship.
The Flattening
"She threatened to hit me with a hammer."
– michaelrohansmith
Hitting The Bottle
"She became an abusive alcoholic. It was sad but I had to get out."
– diegojones4
Emotional pain is too damaging to recover from.
Truth Hurts
"She told me as we stood in front of the judge ending our 7 year marriage, 'I never loved you, I just wanted kids.'"
– Pinch_Dogs
Can't Fix Angry
"She was beautiful/smart but an angry angry person. I thought I could be sweet to her and 'fix' that. Heh. She kicked the crap out of me emotionally. Wife II has been a walk in the roses for 32 years now :)"
– lowlandr
A change of heart is worthless if comes too late.
"We Could've Had A Nice Marriage
"He could not understand that my wants and needs were as important as his wants and needs. We tried to make it work for 7 years. During that time, for things that were really important to me, I tried explaining logically, asking nicely, begging, crying, yelling, passive aggressiveness... cycled back through all of these options multiple times."
"(If I knew something was important to him, I would do that. For example, he was really into sports, so I went to all his events, even though that is not at all my thing.) When I finally threw up my hands and told him it was time to get a divorce, he suddenly panicked and said 'What can I do? Do you want me to do half the chores? I'll do it! Do you want me to get a job? I'll do it! Do you want me to buy you presents for your birthday? I'll do it!'"
"So, in other words, he could have been doing that all along, but just couldn't be bothered. That made me so angry. We could have had a nice marriage that we both enjoyed, but no, by the time he saw the light, that ship had sailed."
"We are both happily remarried now (to different people) and I joke that his new wife owes me a thank you note. It was his experience with me that taught him to listen to her and take her needs seriously."
– Bluebird-True
"What Can I Do?"
"My ex was exactly like this. I didn't marry him but when I told him let's break up, he went all like, what can I do? Let's get engaged, let's look at houses, etc. Basically all the pre-marriage topics that we should be discussing about after being together for 7 years."
"I got so angry and straight up told him it's too late... I don't need you anymore."
– gudetarako
As much as a couple wants to stay together, unforeseen circumstances can eventually tear people apart.
Very few people can maintain healthy long-distance relationships.
When a new job opportunity takes a significant other away, would you begrudge them for wanting a better position to earn more money? Or is it better for them to reluctantly turn down the opportunity so they could stay with you? Do either scenarios breed resentment?
These were questions I've often asked myself with past relationships, and my answers varied depending on the person I was with.
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