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Nannies Who Worked For Extremely Wealthy Families Share The Craziest Parts Of Their Job

Nannies Who Worked For Extremely Wealthy Families Share The Craziest Parts Of Their Job

They didn't like how my car looked so they gave me a new one.

Giphy


Thanks to all the awesome people on Reddit who shared their experiences. Source in each username.

1. I babysat for some neighbors when I lived in New Mexico. Very rich lawyers with a boy (about 8 years old, named Tyler, as in Tyler Durden, should've been a sign...), and a girl (about 5 years old).

Before the parents even left, the little girl was on the monkeybars in the backyard, and whipped her panties off to pee in the breeze. After the parents left, the boy let [himself] go full steam. He still peed the bed, so he was under orders to wear diapers. Refused to put them on. Refused to brush his teeth. Wanted another bedtime book, and another, and another, and another.....oh wait, he wants the book from daddy's shelf, with the topless Polynesian girls in it....no, he doesn't want tap water, he wants the special filtered water, he can totally taste the difference.

I figured out why the parents built their master suite 100+ ft from the children's rooms. Found out later Tyler claimed I beat him or some nonsense like that because I made him brush his teeth. Never again.

thangle

2. How tight they were with money. I would even go so far as to say selective rather than stingy.

They were wealthy because they knew how to budget. I was always to look for free activities to do with the kids. I can tell you that the Peggy Norbert nature museum in Chicago has free entry for Illinois state residents on Thursdays, the pool closest to their house has free child swim for two hours every Friday, little beans cafe and play place has half price Mondays, the Chicago Cultural Center has a monthly music program called the 'Juice box', and to keep an eye out for discounted and free entry days for Chicago residents at the area museums. The zoo is always free and picnics and park days were encouraged. The mom was always on Groupon and the children were never lacking for something to do.

While they might not have been SUPER wealthy they were certainly up there. What surprised me most of all is how much they truly loved their kids. There were a few times I woke up to texts saying I had a paid day off because the weather was beautiful and they wanted to take their children to play at the lake. Or how they preferred to pick their kids up from school themselves so they could hear all about their day. I miss that family so much but I'm still in contact with them and get texts and calls from them so I can be a small part of the kids' lives.

Alisha33

3. My roommate nannied for a billionaire who had 7 kids. Only the first kid, a girl, was actually conceived and born from his wife. The other 6 were all carried by surrogate mothers, and they were all sex-selected so they're all boys. Yeah.

My roommate was really close with the wife, who was like 30 years younger than her husband. She asked her how she met her husband, and the wife says, "He was my father's best friend." My roommate tried to play it off all casual, but the wife bursts out with (continue this story on the next page)

"It's SICK, right? RIGHT? Sometimes I look at him, and I hate him. He watched me grow up. Why did he want to marry me??" She only married him to make her family happy.

transemacabre

4. My younger sister nannies for an wealthy couple, and she's mentioned a few things that really threw her off at first.

The biggest thing was how uninvolved they are with their daughter's life. She was born early in October, and by the end of the month, my sister was already spending 80+ hours a week with her. The husband has only been home one day since she started working for them and the wife is gone from 6am-9pm every day.

Then, it was how casual they are with money. They've offered to pay for work on her car countless times, and the wife gave my sister all of her Christmas decorations from last year. Most of them still had their tags on them. She spent $20/ornament and didn't even use them.

IslandoftheMoths

5. A few things...

-The drama that is just like TV. The dad in the family I nannied for had a secret daughter and other family for 5 years.

- How money was just thrown around. A $500 rocking chair is the wrong shade of orange? Just throw it in the garbage and go buy a new one. Daughters are fighting with each other over their Barbie dream houses? Calm them down by taking them to the American Girl store for new dolls and then get them a blowout afterwards.

-And yet, despite this, they forgot to pay their bills for three months and got the gas turned off in their house.

pinkpanda24

6. I work for a middling-wealthy family, have been for two years. My girls don't think they're well-off because they don't have a tennis court or a rock wall, but they know kids who do. They just have no idea how much money they have. The younger one doesn't realize why it's innapproproate to joke about how much money she has stashed away for "chores." She doesn't realize that it's more than I earn in weeks, and that she didn't actually earn it.

847362na

7. I used to be an au pair for a super rich family in China. The funny thing was that they already had a nanny. She was extremely poor and had to give a bratty kid everything she couldn't afford for her own kids. The kid even kicked her and she simply tolerated it. The weirdest thing was that whenever we went somewhere as a family (Continue this story on the next page)

The weirdest thing was that whenever we went somewhere as a familyshe was the one taking care of the child while the mother was talking to others. She even slept in his room while his mom had her own bedroom. Personally, I just couldn't deal with how spoiled and entitled the child was. They literally told me it didn't matter if he respected me, he just had to like me.

Njoerun

8. A good friend of mine is a nanny for a very wealthy couple. They own and live in an entire brownstone type building. I think they're both lawyers. He is the source of the wealth, which is largely inherited. He has a job, but it's the kind of job where he never has to show up or do much work at all and it pays him hundreds of thousands a year.

Every day, the wife goes to her job. The husband goes to his floor of the house that nobody is allowed to bother him on. He spends the day smoking pot and lazing about like he's Jeff Lebowski.

That's it. That's all he does. But he doesn't want his kids bothering him, so he locks himself away to pretend he's still in college or something and pays my friend to raise his kid for him.

They're nice enough people. My friend likes her job. But I'll never be able to have much respect for a dude who has all the time and money in the world and he uses it to sequester himself away from his own kids, get high, and watch movies all day.

MidasVirago

9. I do tutoring for a wealthy family, and despite the fact that they seem to have come from fairly average backgrounds, they really have no concept of how normal people think of money. I was talking about visiting the library after a session, and they were confused by the fact that I didn't just buy all the books I wanted to read. They also pay me every six months or so, and seem confused that I want money so often - they're good for it, after all. They fly their kids home from their high school sports tours (they play in tournaments all over the continent) to take a driving test and think nothing of it.

They're good people, but weird.

Alsadius

10. In 2013, I was a substitute teacher at a private high school in a very wealthy area. This allowed me to back into multiple tutoring opportunities. I was advised by the front office lady to not advertise an hourly rate. The rates suggested by the families baffled me. $50-100/hr. I also worked at a sporting goods store and made ~$9/hr. The main kid I tutored was embarrassed by his parents wealth (surgeon and family doctor) and where they lived.

Another family I worked for, had a Tesla before they were more common. They wanted me to work for them but I did not have a nice enough car (Ford five-hundred sedan), to drive their children. They were arranging a brand new Chevy Tahoe as a spare vehicle for them but for my use.

All about the status symbols I guess.

Dtown19

11. I briefly worked with a wealthy family a few months ago before I had to leave the job because it was just unbearable. They were pretty nice to me, but terrible to their kid. The kid was 6, for context. These things were more sad than crazy.

The saddest thing I saw was how much money they spent on themselves and paying me, and how little they spent on their kid. I was being paid pretty well (enough to almost match what I was making at my primary job while working half as many hours), the parents would be buying new iPhones, new clothes, wine, etc. Their kid however, had clothes that didn't fit, broken toys that were "too expensive to replace", wasn't enrolled in any after school activities either because it "cost money".

Some other things I noticed was how uninvolved and bad at parenting they were. The kid was 6 still wearing diapers because he hadn't been fully potty trained. When I asked about it, they actually said (Continue this story on the next page)

"Oh we just never fully got around to it, he's scared to go to the bathroom because one time we spanked him because he peed on the floor". He was completely undisciplined and whenever I told him no, he would try and hit me, scream at the top of his lungs, try and bite himself. One time I was with the mom and him in the store, and he tried to take a bunch of candy from a shelf and eat it, and I said he has to wait for his mom to pay for it first, and he LOST it. Tried knocking over shelves, ran around screaming, tried hitting OTHER people, and swearing up a storm. His mom LEFT the store, and said oh that's too much for me to handle, that's why you're here.

In the end I just quit because I couldn't stand them as parents or people. They were so arrogant, always neglecting their children. The day I left, they wouldn't even let me say goodbye to their son, who was crying watching me from a window as I walked to my car. I guess they trained him not to say hi to me and give me nasty looks when I see them in town, because they'll go out of their way to avoid me if we make eye contact in town.

Rickayy_OG

12. How much help they have, and how little time they spend with their own kids! It's gotten a bit more normal now but when I started (kids were 5 months and 3) the mum had 7 more months of maternity leave, I worked 2 days per week, they had another uni student part time for another two days, a full time nanny on Fridays and a house cleaner that came twice a week.

Sometimes I go to work and BOTH parents are there just hanging out while I play with the kids - and they pay me well so it's not like it's cheap! Idk I often get the feeling that they just had kids because they got older and it's expected, not because they actually wanted them.

Spaghettilovinggirl

13. Not really part of the job, but that customer's (yacht cleaning) didn't care how poor the cleaner was. I pull out my flip phone to answer a call and they just kinda turn away like it's gross. One guy dropped his iPhone in the ocean by mistake, said "oops" and grabbed another from a kitchen drawer.

notgayDragon

14. Not a nanny but I used to work at a golf club in a very rich community and people would just drop their kids off at the club and we would end up essentially babysitting them in the restaurant. We had one kid who was probably 11 and he was so stingy. He would complain about any upcharge, how our meals didn't give enough for their price, and how what we sold was way cheaper at the store. (which obviously he was way too young to understand overhead costs)

One time after about 10 minutes of his ranting over how he had to pay more for milk than you would in a store I just pointed out to him "I get that its annoying, but we couldn't even buy one meal with an hours worth of pay before taxes."

The LOOK on this kids face was just shock. You could tell he had not true concept of money and earning it and that some people got vastly more than others. He never complained to me about cost again and would often tell them adult golfers how unfair it was that we weren't paid enough. (in his opinion)

Makes me wonder how affluent people teach their children about money beyond to complain about having to use it.

nonsufficient

15. The family I work for right now is very wealthy- the live on fifth ave right across from central park. Three things. The first is the clothes. The girls have numerous name brand clothing items- Burberry, Ralph Lauren, Vineyard Vines, Lilly Pulitzer, etc. The 6 year olds backpack was 85 bucks. I get wanting your kids to have nice things to wear, but they're growing fast, and that [stuff's] expensive. The 3 year old outgrew her wardrobe last year, it was all replaced with the same expensive stuff.

Next would have to be scheduling. They want there children to be successful in life, I get it. But every day is (Continued on the next page!)

something- piano, ballet, tennis, Chinese lessons and squash. They have no time to play.

The last part, which is a bit more sad if you ask me, is the lack of connect in the girls and their parents relationship. It could be as simple as scheduling- for instance, the mom doesn't know when ballet and tennis is, I do, or as intense as worries and fears. They confide in me and when I bring it up with the mom she's surprised to learn they're not just always happy because they have nice things. There's definitely something missing there and it shows. The 3 year old slips up and calls me "mama" constantly and it breaks my heart.

cnk93

16. How incompetent they are. I worked as a nanny for a few months for a wealthy family with two kids to make extra money while in college. I had to get up every morning to get the kids ready for school and then walk them to school because the mom couldn't do it herself. Also the mom wouldn't go anywhere without a nanny present for the kids. Play date at the playground with another family? I would go and watch her kids while she would just sit there and chat with the other parent. It was so weird. Unsurprisingly I was one of 5 nannies they had coming around every week. They spent close to $1000 a week on nannies but didn't want to commit to getting a live in.

Marimorx

17. My mom was a nanny for a couple of rich corporate lawyers years ago. I always remember her saying that at Christmas the kids would get tired from opening so many presents. The unopened gifts would get put away and some weren't opened until months later.

TurdOfTheDay

18. I once nannied for a family who had a small room with board games/table top games lining the walls (as an indication of wealth) I was called in on weekends to spend time with the 6 year old and play games with him - basically do anything he asked of me. A majority of the time the mom and grandma were home and in their own room. Once the mom and dad were home and napping. I was basically being paid good money to play with the kid. Of course, the kid was incredibly bossy and fussy when he didn't get his own way. I also received a text after my first few sessions saying that I could bring my own lunch and use their fridge; don't worry, no one has any allergies.

nerdcamper

19. The woman played WOW all day and ate spaghetti-o's, the husband was always away, and she was never with her baby. Also, she had a surrogate with twins on the way! I never understood their family or why she wanted more kids.

hussy_trash

20. I worked for an extremely wealthy family and when I was going to eat lunch with the kids, I was told "the help" eats in the kitchen. I quit soon after that.

sydthesquid18

21. I was not nanny, but rather a sort of a personal 'fun activity' guide for three extremely rich children. As in these kids were four places removed from literal royalty.

They held a party to celebrate when one of the kids 'graduated' from P5 which would be the American equivalent of 5th or 6th grade. This was not anything like a birthday party or a trip to Chucky Cheese's. It was held on one of their estates and involved three different caterers. One was for the hors d'oeuvres, one for the main course and one for the desserts. This is not counting the two bartenders - one for adults and another for the underage crowd. By my estimate, they spent over $20,000 on this affair. It was mind boggling.

They invited my father who lives with me as a matter of etiquette, though I was not sure if they expected him to actually attend. I used half my paycheck to buy him something that would not look like he was there as the gardener's tool carrier. He protested that he would not know anyone there but I told him it did not matter. I would introduce him to the parents, their children and the immediate staff and that is all he would need to worry about. He grudgingly accepted.

So we are there and I am working with one of the DJs on setting up the equipment. My dad was enjoying the immense swimming pool and the amazing food. Once he got there, he lost all sense of self consciousness and somehow fit right in. Maybe it was the fact that he changed into a bathing suit and that is sort of an equalizer for everyone.

Anyway, we got the sound system setup and then I was asked to help with the bounce house. This was one that could have been straight out of a Class A Theme Park. It was a huge castle that had a dragon lying on the ground with his tail curled all the way around it. That took well over an hour to get staked down, inflated, and tested out.

So then they tell me I am OK to take a 30 minute break for some food. By this time the place is packed. Easily a hundred adult and child guests. I go over to the buffet and fill my plate. Here is where I finally realized how far apart our worlds were. I was shocked to find ()

I was shocked to find that there were no paper plates one might expect to find. They were literally using these Royal Albert china dishes at a kid's party. I had my food and was about to sit down when this kid throws a huge beach ball my way, yelling "Think fast!" Well I did not, and I ended up dropping the plate on the ground. It shattered into thousands of pieces. I felt horrible. No one even blinked once. Someone came by, swept it all up and the day carried on as if nothing happened. That plate cost 60.00. I turned around and someone else had already grabbed another one and filled it up with the same food I had chosen before.

That night I asked my dad what he thought of that whole scene. He muttered something about a huge waste of money. But then he said he was extremely disappointed with me because he said I embarrassed him in front of his "new friends". That was 2 years ago, and he still blames me that they never call him back. Somehow I think he does not get it yet.

rogersimon010

23. The craziest part was this ultra wealthy couple, whose bedroom is about as big as my house, stiffed me my last pay check.

loritree

24. I have a close friend who was a nanny for a couple years. She routinely called me to vent about the parents. She was paid well and had many perks but she was a live in so she was always there and was frequently asked to help on her days off.

I flew out to visit her for her birthday weekend for birthday shenanigans. She had previously asked her employers if she could have that Friday off seeing as she had company coming in. They gave her this huge guilt trip then refused. The dad ended up having the day off and spent it alone up in his study then proceeded to go to the gym and meet friends while I helped my friend watch the kids.

ittybittytittykitty

25. I once worked for a billionaire family and there were a ton of weird things that went on in the family. It was only the mom bringing in most of the money. Anyway, the dad was stay at home, but didn't really want to be responsible for his two kids, so I was hired! There were entire rooms of the house that the kids weren't allowed inside, and I never saw anyone else go in either. They must have had at least 5 regular staff members at the house (landscape, cook, nanny (me), and other people who were there for god knows what). The kids were never given any rules, and sometimes the dad would randomly get bored and come hang out with us for a couple hours, just wanting a friend (me) to hang out with. It was kind of like I was hired to be a nanny for the kids and a standby friend for the dad. Very weird. The weirdest part? The parents often texted me bizarre requests after hours to pay me to do extra things here and there. I didn't mind, because I needed the money and they paid well, but it was usually things that they just couldn't be bothered to do Here are a few:

- "Our son can't finish his project and we don't have time to help him. If we send you the papers do you think you could do it for him tonight?" Took me 10 minutes, 50 bucks.

- "Do you think you could look up a good recipe for soup?" No specificity here, just soup. I sent them my grandma's recipe. Made 50$ thanks Grandma!

- "We're thinking of ordering new blinds. Could you pick them out?" 30 minutes, 200 bucks.

-"We think our son might be looking at porn. Could you go through our internet history and let us know?" (this one wasn't off hours, I just did it while the kids were doing their homework. Instead of ratting him out, I had a conversation with the boy about how it's perfectly natural but how porn creates very unrealistic expectations of what sex is. Then I taught him how to delete his internet history. Yeah, I'd like to think I'm a cool nanny."

- "Would you mind doing the Christmas shopping this year?" They sent me a list that the kids had written. It included an iphone each (they're 6 and 9), about 20 random toys, designer clothing, and a real vending machine. I went on Amazon and ordered everything to their neighbour's house, (who was a total sweetheart) and brought it over the next day. They told me to order whatever I wanted for myself up to 1000$. Took approximately 1 hr of my time.

27. My friend's son is an exceptionally well paid banker in NYC. His grandchild (just one) has 4 nannies. At 2 this child couldn't walk because it gets carried everywhere, can only speak Spanish because that is the only language it hears. The walking thing is a problem because if the kid can't stand up properly how on earth is it going to learn to ski?

ChopsNZ

Old Wives' Tales People Still Believe For Some Reason

"Reddit user the_spring_goddess asked: 'What is an old wives tale that people still believe?'"

Close up of an owl tilting their head to side, looking bewildered
Photo by Josh Mills

The old wives' tales.

They are the stories of legend.

I think we all need a big DEEP Google dive though.

Where did they originate?

WHO ARE THE OLD WIVES!

You don't hear about them as much anymore.

It's like science and logic are suddenly a thing.

But they sure are a good way to keep your kids and their behavior in line.

Redditor the_spring_goddess wanted to discuss the tall tales we've all been fed through life, so they asked:

"What is an old wives tale that people still believe?"

"Wait an hour to swim after eating."

What a crock!

So many summer hours wasted.

I want revenge for that one.

Say Nothing

Giphy

"An undercover cop has to tell you he's a cop if you ask him."

LonelyMail5115

"Pretty much most advice when it comes to cops are old wives tales. I’m not even a cop but most of the advice you hear is pretty off."

I_AM_AN_A**HOLE_AMA

Say Something

"That you have to wait 24 hours to report someone missing."

Severe_Airport1426

"I really think this one is important and should be the top regardless. As it’s a piece of advice that needs to be relearned and the only way to do that is through awareness."

crappycurtains

"This used to be true. I think they changed it after some guy named Brandon went missing back in the '80s or '70s. You used to have to wait 24 hours if the missing person was an adult because they had 'a right to be missing' and then everyone realized that was stupid and stopped doing it."

AlbinoShavedGorilla

Body Temps

"That drinking ice cold water after eating oily foods will solidify the oil and permanently remain in your body. I informed my coworker that if your body temperature ever reached that point, you’d have bigger problems than weight gain."

chriseo22

"Oh, I have a cousin who 100% believed this. One of those guys who believed every early 2000s internet rumor and old wives tale. One night I chugged a big glass of ice water after dinner and he started freaking out and saying my guts were gonna harden."

"I sarcastically told him to drive me to the hospital if that happened. Obviously, nothing happened and the next morning I said something like 'Thanks for being on standby in case my guts filled with hardened oil.' He just walked off muttering under his breath."

apocalypticradish

Arms Down

"When I was pregnant, I was told by young and old alike that I should NOT raise my arms above my head or exert myself in such a manner because it could cause cord strangulation to my unborn sons and daughters."

Fatmouse84

10 Years Actually

Unimpressed Uh Huh GIF by Brooklyn Nine-Nine Giphy

"Chewing gum stays in your stomach for 7 years."

REDDIT

"I remember accidentally swallowing a piece of gum when I was a kid in like 1995 and just accepting my fate like welp, gonna have this in my stomach til high school I guess."

Gecko-911

I was so afraid to sallow my gum when I was young.

This tale is haunting.

High/Low

Hungry Debra Messing GIF by Will & Grace Giphy

"You can tell the sex of the baby by how you carry."

LeastFormal9366

"Pregnancy certainly wins awards for the most old wives tales. So much absolute BS was repeated to us by everyone we talked to."

IllIIIlIllIlIIlIllI

The Cursed

"If you’re a woman and you wear opal jewelry but opal is not your birthstone (October), you’ll never be able to have children, or will be widowed, or just generally have bad luck or something. You can counteract this by having a diamond in the same piece of jewelry as the opal, though."

"I have a nice opal ring that my parents gave me years ago, and I’ve had other women give me this 'advice' unprompted more than once when I’ve worn it. I have absolutely no idea where it started, but I’m pretty sure this little chunk of silicate rock has no concept of what month I was born in, let alone of how my reproductive organs work."

SmoreOfBabylon

Stay In

"Going outside with wet hair will make you get pneumonia. Or an earache. Or maybe arthritis. Depends on which old wife you listen to."

"Jokes on them - I haven't blow-dried my hair in decades and usually leave the house with wet hair in the morning. On winter mornings, the tips of my hair get frozen. No ear infections or pneumonia or arthritis yet."

worldbound0514

Dreams and Facts

"You never make anyone up in your dreams you've seen everyone in your dreams somewhere else before and never make anyone up entirely."

"How would you possibly prove that to be true? My partner adamantly believes this and tells me this 'fact' whenever I have a dream about someone I've never met before."

mattshonestreddit

"My late wife used to tell me that before she met me she would have dreams of standing at an alter on her wedding day but could never see the guy's face, no matter how hard she tried. After meeting me the face was filled in with mine. Don't know if it's true but one of those things I like thinking of every now and then when I miss her."

Darthdemented

Cracked

Getting Ready Episode 2 GIF by The Office Giphy

"Some people still believe cracking knuckles causes arthritis."

Choice-Grapefruit-44

"There's a doctor (Donald Unger) that cracked his knuckles a couple of times a day for 60 years, but only on one hand, just to prove it. Both hands remained exactly the same."

MacyTmcterry

I love my knuckles.

Do you have any tall tales to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below.

lottery tickets
Erik Mclean on Unsplash

A lot of workers daydream about some day winning the lottery and being able to say goodbye to their job.

Far too many workers are unhappy with their job duties, workplace dynamics or company culture.

But with a taste for luxuries like housing and food, they keep plugging away, year after year.

However not everyone feels that way about their job.

So what are these compelling careers?

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Therapist talking during session
Photo by Mark Williams on Unsplash

Some people stand firmly stand behind their beliefs that everyone would benefit from therapy and that therapy is life-changing.

It's because of the totally life-changing truth bombs their therapist had dropped during their sessions.

Curious, Redditor anonymiss0018 asked:

"What is a little bombshell your therapist dropped in one of your sessions that completely changed your outlook?"

Communication Issues

"'If you don’t have these problems with any other person in your life, why do you think you’re the problematic person in this one?'"

- maggiebear

"I love this. I have a 'friend' who I always seem to run into misunderstandings with. Every time we had a conversation, it somehow turned into a debate even if it was me talking about my day. The conversations were never easy."

"I always evaluate myself first and take into consideration his critiques. He was very good at convincing me that I was contradicting myself or wasn't good at communicating my thoughts."

"I NEVER had this issue with ANYONE else in my life. I kept trying to figure out where the miscommunication was coming from. In the end, I just minimized contact and now I don't run into this issue."

- chobani_yo

"I read this quote somewhere once (and probably have it a bit wrong): 'It's a waste of time arguing with someone who is determined to misunderstand you.'"

- Reddit

Emotional Regulation

"'You can’t control your emotions, but you can control what you do with them.'"

"At the time, I was a young adult who had learned zero healthy emotional regulation skills (only suppression and shaming) growing up, so this blew my mind."

- lil_mermaid

Tough Relationships

"'It sounds to me like you are trying to convince yourself to stay with your girlfriend. I'm not so sure it should be so difficult.'"

"At the time he said this, I remember it was like he said, 'The earth is flat.' I thought he was crazy when he suggested relationships don't need to be difficult. But eventually, I started to realize I was trying to change myself to stay with this person rather than just being who I am."

"It took me three more months to finally break up with her but from that day on, I vowed to never again abandon myself just to be with someone I had convinced myself was better than me."

- metric88

High-Stress Situation

"I was at a high-stress time, and I asked her how people live like this."

"She replied, 'Oftentimes they have cardiac events.' She said it as an urging to care for myself as much as possible."

- KittenGr8r

The End of Alcohol

"I was struggling with my alcoholism, and we were discussing how I had been cutting back."

"She asked what I would consider success, with regard to my drinking."

"I said I wanted to get to a point where it wasn't interfering with my daily life. I wanted to just be able to have a glass of wine at holiday dinners or family gatherings."

"She simply asked me why. Why was it important for me to drink at those times?"

"It was as if she'd turned on a light. Alcohol had always been a key ingredient in every family function, for my entire life. When I smell bourbon, I think of my uncle. When I smell vermouth, I think of my dad. Alcohol ran through almost every happy childhood memory."

"But, even more than that, I was very afraid of the explanation I'd have to give when family and friends asked why I wasn't having a drink. I had tried to quit before but failed. What if I admitted my problem, only to fall off the wagon?"

"When she asked why I didn't want to completely quit, it was the first time I saw that last part of the big picture. I'd be willing to drink myself to death in order to avoid being scrutinized, or judged for possible future failures."

"That was the day I quit. I've been sober since May 6th, 2017. 2,407 days."

- sophies_wish

Acceptance vs. Enjoyment

"'Accepting something doesn’t mean you have to like it.'"

"That took away a lot of my inner conflicts about situations because I could accept a situation without expending energy internally fighting against the injustice of it."

- alibelloc

Emotionally Immature Parents

"You are not responsible for your parents' emotional wellbeing. They are independent adults who have been on this earth for many more years than you."

- SmokedPears

Not So Lazy

"'Why do you think you're lazy?' Then she listed off all the things she knows I'm doing for my family, my job, and my life."

"It kind of blew my mind when I struggled to come up with an example."

"She also described family dysfunction as water. Some families are messed up in a way that everyone can see the huge waves across the surface. Others are better at hiding it, but there's still a riptide that you can't see unless you're also in the water."

"It made me realize that trying to keep the surface from ever rippling doesn't erase what is happening underneath."

- flybyknight665

The Harm in People-Pleasing

"'Why do you make people more comfortable when you are uncomfortable?' when talking about people pleasing and fawning."

- ERsandwich

Agree to Disagree

"'Stop trying to get everyone to agree. When you need everyone to agree, the least agreeable person has all the power.'"

This really changed my outlook on planning family events."

- freef

Grieve and Start Anew

"For context, I had a major TBI (traumatic brain injury), seizures, strokes, and all around not a fun brain time when I was 28."

"They said, 'You have to grieve the loss of yourself.'"

"Most people wanted me to go back to how I was. The f**ked up truth is that part of my brain is dead. The person everyone (including myself) knew died. I needed to grieve the loss of myself."

- squeaktoy_la

Multifaceted Identity

"They told me that my job and career is just a way to make money; it's not my life or identity. That took a lot of pressure off me."

- unfairpegasus

Breaking the Cycle

"They validated me."

"'You always talk about not wanting to do to your daughters what your mom did to you. You worry about it so much in every interaction you have ever had with them."

"But your children are 19 and 21 now. They are happy and healthy and they trust you because you’ve never abused them in any way. So I just want to validate for you that you really have broken that cycle of violence."

"You did that. And you should be proud of it. I’m proud of you for it.'"

- puppsmcgee74

The Grieving Process

"I was constantly bringing up how I felt like a completely different person after my mom died... like there was a marked difference between before and after her death."

"But once, she was asking about my hobbies, I got really into describing all the things I loved to do or at least used to do before I got into a deep depression."

"She was like, 'Wow, you seem very passionate.'"

"And I just sat there like, 'Well, I mean, I can't change what I like to do, they're still fun to do.'"

"And it's like she knew when to take a step back, because it was like, wow, I may be super depressed about my mom passing, but I'm still me. I'm still my passions and those don't go away."

"I don't know, maybe it only makes sense to be, but it really started getting me back on track."

- Hannibal680

Sharing the Load

"I've never really had friends. I've had colleagues and classmates and housemates and people who have hung out with me, but I never really felt close to any of them."

"And I did that thing you see on here sometimes; I stopped reaching out to see if I would be reached out to, and I wasn't, which I took as confirmation that they didn't really want me around, or at the very least, that they wouldn't mind my absence."

"I was talking to my therapist about people I'd been close to in college, and she told me to pick one and talk about him. So I did. After I shared some basic stuff like his name and his major etc., and a couple of anecdotes, she asked me what else I knew about him."

"And I couldn't answer. It wasn't really a broadly applicable bombshell, but she said, 'What else?' and I started crying because I realized that for as simple as the question was, my inability to answer spoke volumes."

"I've never had good friends because I've never been a good friend. I'm withdrawn and reserved and I always made others do the work to drag me out, without ever extending my own friendship in a meaningful way in return. If I wanted to have meaningful relationships with other people, I would have to build them."

"I'm still working on this, but I'm trying to make more offers and extend more friendliness to others in my daily life."

- Backupusername

The discoveries in this thread were incredibly touching and profound; it's no wonder these were lasting concepts for these Redditors.

It's important to keep ourselves open to inspiration and insights from others, as we have no idea how their experiences could help us, or how we could help them.

Aerial view of a church in a small town
Sander Weeteling/Unsplash

There's something comforting about living in a small town.

It's characterized by close communities where neighbors know each other by name and there is an abundance of kindness extended to others.

Gift-giving is a commonality, as is the sharing of recipes, and people going out of their way to help each other in a time of need.

The pace of living in small towns is also a striking contradiction to city life, where crowds of people go about their busy lives without much interaction.

Curious to hear more examples of what small town living is like, Redditor official_biz asked:

"What's the most 'small town' thing you've witnessed?"

These are positive examples of a tight-knit community.

Live Updates

"We have a village Facebook page. Every time the ice cream man drives into the village, the entire page goes ballistic. People send live updates of where the van is and which direction he's heading. The ice cream man has started accepting DMs so he knows which streets to go down."

– PyrrhuraMolinae

Brush With The Law

"I’m from a town of less than 2,000 people. When I worked at the grocery store there people would often drop off stuff for my family members because they didn’t want to drive all the way down to our house. I no longer live there but recently got a call from my daughter. She had been stopped for speeding and handed over her license and insurance which happens to be in my mother’s name. The officer goes 'Hey, you’re Donnie’s granddaughter! I ain’t gonna write you a ticket but I’m telling Donnie when I see him tomorrow cause we’re going fishing.' She replied 'I think I’d rather have the ticket.'”

- Reddit

Roadside Catchup

"The traffic on the 'main street' of my town is so sparse, two drivers going opposite directions can stop and talk to each other for a few minutes without causing any problem."

– anon

When things go wrong, people take notice without incident.

Bank Robbery

"A guy robbed a bank and everyone knew immediately who he was and the teller got mad at him."

– AlexRyang

"A local bank was robbed and one of the tellers told the police to bring her a yearbook from about ten years earlier and she would be able to point the robber out. He had been in the grade before hers in school."

– Strict_Condition_632

Wise Woman

"When I worked at the bank in town there was an older lady that had worked there through 5 mergers."

"She knew everyone, there was a young guy yelling at me one day. She walked out of the back and he immediately quieted. She went off about telling his grandmother that he was treating young women like sh*t. She also said that if he didn’t straighten up not one girl in town would ever marry him she would make sure of it."

– ilurvekittens

Intoxicated Local

"Town drunk was paralyzed and used a motorized wheelchair to get around. I was driving home one Saturday night and said town drunk was passed out in his wheelchair doing circles almost directly in the town square. Had to call his brother who came and picked him up on a rollback truck. Strapped him down and drove off into the cold dark night."

– DoodooExplosion

Grazing Over To The Bar

"In my former small town, there was an older guy who'd lost his license after getting a few DUIs. Every day, he would ride his John Deere lawnmower to the corner bar around 3PM and sit around watching TV and sipping his beer well into the night. Then he'd head the couple miles back home on his mower. He even had a little canvass shell he put on when it rained or got too cold."

– brown_pleated_slacks

It's not surprising how small town people behave differently than those who are from metropolitan areas.

Welcoming Committee

"I lived in a small town. When I moved there, people would ask, 'Whose house did you buy?'"

–MoonieNine

"Move to a small town. 30 years later, you are still the new guy."

– impiousdrifter

"I lived in a small town for most of my childhood but I wasn't "from there" because my grandparents weren't from there."

– raisinghellwithtrees

"Worked with an older guy, relative of the owner of the business, he was 73. I asked him if he was a local, he said 'no his parents moved here when he was two.'"

– realneil

A Busy Day

"Lived in a town of about 5,000: A woman walked into the DMV on a Friday, saw that there were 3 people ahead of her and left to come back another time when they weren't so busy."

– KenmoreToast

Who Let The Dogs Out?

"My dogs got out while i was working. the police called my niece's elementary school (she was a 5th grader) to get her to round them up and take them back home."

– mediocrelpn

"There was a small kennel behind the police station for runaways. They called us saying they had our dog, and moments later our dog showed up home. He broke out of jail."

– Worried_Place_917

While life in a small town sounds appealing, I don't know if I can ever live in one.

I'm so used to life in big cities, I think it would be quite unnerving to adjust in a neighborhood where everyone literally knows your business.

I would be paranoid.

And I'm sure the same could be said of life in the big city.

Would you consider making the switch to life in a different setting?