You try to do your best. Being a parent is already so hard. But sometimes, it just blows up in your face.
Here were some of the answers.
A Logical Fallacy
Not a parent, but my in-laws love telling this story about my fiance.
He was resistant to potty training, and they eventually got him to start using the potty by telling him that he had to be out of pull-ups before a family trip to Disney World, because "Mickey Mouse only sees big boys and girls." And also who wants to log a diaper bag around Disney?
Anyway, it went great, they had a great trip... and the day after they got back, he took a sh*t in the living room. When asked, he said "I don't gotta use the potty cause I already saw Mickey Mouse." They very firmly told him that if he was old enough to use logic, he was far too old for diapers, and that was the end of that.
Great And Terrible Power
Saw a clip on local news about a toddler saving her mom's life by calling 911 when she collapsed. Figured it was a good idea to teach my toddler 911. Had two cops at my door 5 minutes later.
Payment In Kind
When my daughter was young I was trying to teach her the value of money and decided to start giving her an allowance. She had a few tasks to do around the house and afterwards on the weekends before we would go out, I'd give her 5$. I explained that because she helped out and did her chores, she had earned money to spend on whatever she wanted. She happily accepted and stashed her money in her room, I thought nothing of it. Later that evening before I tucked her in to bed after reading to her, she goes to her money jar, pulls out 2$ and hands it to me, and explains that it's for being a good daddy.
My aunt and uncle were trying to teach my cousin manners, and wanted him to address people as Mr and Mrs. They used each other as examples, and consequently were known as Mr. Iannuccilli for ~ 2 months. One of the funniest moments of my life was hearing my uncle describe how in the middle of the night instead of 'dad' he started hearing 'Mr Iannuccilli!' Cracks me up every time.
My dad tried to implement the whole you MUST eat ALL the food on your plate in our house during meals. My mom was never a fan of that lesson, but my dad was stubborn so she just let it go. Well, one day my sibling had 2-3 bites of food left on their plate and was very clear that they were absolutely full and couldn't eat another bite. Dad wasn't having it and insisted they could not leave the table until all the food on their plate was gone. My sibling realized they weren't going to convince our dad that they were too full and finished the last few bites and then proceeded to upchuck on the table. He stopped enforcing the rule after that.
When my older son was about three or four years old, we realized he was starting to act very spoiled and materialistic. We always tried to make him see how lucky he already had it, but he constantly begged us for every toy, candy, and treat he saw anywhere and everywhere.
Around that time, I came across a great photo spread that involved the photographer traveling around the world and snapping photos of different children with their most prized possessions. Of course, the kids in the US, Canada, and Europe were mostly photographed in rooms filled with stuff. But there were also photos of children from impoverished nations, usually showing the child with only one old, dirty stuffed animal.
I thought I was going to accomplish this brilliant parenting move by sitting him down and going through the photos with him. I'd explain how the kids with rooms like his were beyond lucky and he should feel more than satisfied with all of the great stuff that he had. Then I would show him the other photos and he would finally understand that there are so many other children in the world with far less than he had.
We looked through the photos and talked about each one. We finally got to one with a little boy standing on his cot with his one possession, a well-loved, dingy-looking stuffed monkey. My son looked at if for a long time. I could see his wheels spinning. "Success!" I thought. After a long bit of silence, he finally looked up at me, gave me a sweet smile and said, "I want that monkey."
In order not to teach him how to "lie better," I never challenged his lying and we just told him what needed to be fixed. I never told him how I knew he was lying, I just avoided confronting him and got to the point of what needed fixed, despite attempts to deny it.
For example, if someone ate all the brownies, and his mouth and fingers were stained with chocolate, I never told him, "I can tell you are lying because of the evidence," I just said he now had to make a new batch or do chores because the old batch was gone. I was figuring, "hey, he'll figure out that eating the brownies and lying about it still had consequences."
Thus, he never really got very good at lying. But he keeps trying, which is the part I didn't expect. He's 28 now, and just so terrible at it because he doesn't understand how people can so easily figure it out. This has socially crippled him in ways I did not understand when he was young.
I think learning how to lie is essential to social development, and I thought I was being all high and moral. Oops.
When I was about 2 years old my family was at a game in Angel's stadium. My mother went to the restroom and left me and my siblings with my dad. While he was busy watching I wandered off. When they eventually found me I was halfway around the stadium. A crowd had gathered to watch as a police officer held me out at arms length while I screamed "call the police, this man is not my daddy" over and over again. My parents had taught me stranger danger, but forgot to teach me what police look like.
It All Worked Out
Taught my now 16 year old to always compliment people who insulted you. We were in a Burlington Coat Factory in Michigan when my mother was shopping for a bathing suit to take to Florida. There were few to choose from, so she was complaining. My kid was 4.
A woman trying on pants and said something rude to my mom who was asking my opinion and my daughter caught on that my mother was agitated. She squeezed out behind me and told the woman,
"Your teeth are such a pretty yellow!"
I told him no food downstairs. He had to eat at the table if he wanted to and not his play room. When the second kid came I would bring down his bottle and snacks so he could eat solid foods that helped his teething while we played. My older kid flipped out because there is no food downstairs that was like a basic rule of life to him. When I said it's ok because his brother is a baby and I'm here he took advantage of some shared snacks the kids had later. He would try to give his brother snacks that he liked so he could eat them downstairs too because his brother was.
So I see him sitting in his play tent eating animal crackers and giving his brother one as they hide from me because he knows it's technically wrong. But he eventually saw the reason why I made the rule because although the younger kid would eat 1-2 he would then mash the third into a paste and rub it over the toys.
City On Fire
My friend's 10 year-old daughter was going over to a friend's house in the same apartment complex, but a few buildings away.
Mom: "Ok, what do we do if someone tries to grab you?"
Daughter: "Kick him in the balls and yell 'FIRE'!"
Mom: "Ha, right, but that's not a good word, it's 'testicles'."
Daughter: "Ok, kick him in the balls and yell 'TESTICLES'!"
Mom: "You know...that might work too."
Good Idea, Bad Execution
Trying to keep.my 4 year old in bed. He gets up 4 or more times saying he has to go to the bathroom. Most of the time he doesn't have to go and we send him back to bed. 5 minutes later, he does it again. He knows that he can get out of bed this way. My wife decided to make tickets. He could use the tickets if he got out of bed. Once the tickets were done, so was he. If he could stay in bed the rest of the night he got rewarded with stickers. The first night we tried it, he sh*t himself.
A Fair Question
Not a very big backfire, but here's a true story:
My grandmother died a few years ago. My brother decided to use this as a teaching moment for his two daughters, and he did his best to explain what was going on. He told them that he was flying out to Florida to attend the wake.
"What's a wake?" His daughter asked.
"It's a thing that happens before the funeral, where we go to see Nana's body."
His daughter's eyes widened with fear. He had a moment of panic, like maybe he'd made a mistake. Then she asked, "... What do they do with her head?"
Teamwork Makes The Dream Work
Due to a last minute adoption (long story) my wife and I went from one kid to two kids very quickly. They are close in age (18 months apart) so we tried reading books about how to avoid sibling rivalry and encourage a positive sibling relationship as they got older. One of the books said to teach the kids that they are a team. That's what we did.
It resulted in my daughter getting pissed at me any time I would discipline her brother because he was her baby. I would try to explain that discipline is part of learning but she wasn't having any of that. She agreed that she should be disciplined for bad behavior but not her baby brother. You have to stand up for your teammate afterall. That's really the only times she would ever throw a full blown screaming tantrum, so then I would have to deal with my son crying because he is being disciplined and my daughter crying because her brother is being disciplined. As they got a little older any time I would try to break up an argument or settle a dispute, both of them would get mad at me. They needed to work it out together. Teammates stand up for each other and work things out together (unless you are Odell Beckham Jr.) so parental involvement wasn't needed in their view and only worked to make them both angry at me.
Both of them are well behaved teenagers now and despite being very different from each other, they are still very close and value each others opinion. My son has been able to convince his sister to audition for a solo in her orchestra concert and for the school musical and she is the first one to comfort him after his team loses a tough loss and helped him with his successful class VP campaign since he couldn't make a poster that didn't look like it was made by a deranged monkey. I wouldn't discount the method completely because I am happy with their relationship but when you have two toddlers screaming bloody murder because you put one in time out, you question what the hell you are doing wrong.
Everybody Loves Louie
When my oldest kid was 3 or 4, a few months after I separated from his mom, I found a home with a couple of these DJs who needed a roommate to split the bills. Mike was terminally ill, Louie was a pothead. I was a young divorced dad. Pretty suave home amirite?
One day after cleaning the kitchen I stepped out to pick up my kid, came home and the kitchen's a f*cking wreck. Louie got high and decided to make himself a smoothie. He left milk, ice, bits of juice and just gross crud, everywhere.
I told Louie he needed to clean it up, he told me he'd get to it in a little bit, I told him I needed to make my kid dinner now and needed to work in the kitchen, he told me so clean it up yourself, one thing led to another and pretty soon we're in each other's faces, really close, almost bumping chests, fingers pointing at each other, yelling really loud, lots of cuss words, before we both storm off.
I go up to my room, and kiddos up there with a quivering lip and eyes welled up. He bravely tells me "Louie is our friend and you yelled at him very mean."
I go back to the living room. "Louie, could you come down here please?"
"WHAT??!" .. he stomps into the living room
".. sigh .. I was very frustrated because I worked hard to clean the kitchen, then I saw it messy again, but I did not ask what you were doing or how your day was before getting mad about the kitchen. I should not have yelled at you or said bad words. You're my friend and I will try to use nicer words from now on."
Louie looks at me and says, ".. the F*CK??!"
Then he turns and sees kiddo watching both of us. "Oh god dammit! Fine .."
And he cleaned the kitchen.
My kid asked us to hug each other afterward.
Louie and I are still friends. He's got his own baby now. Karma's a b*tch, Louie!!
Come Out, Come Out, Wherever You Are
Not a parent, but my I remember when I was 17, my parents thought I was lying about where I was when I was going out. Like I wanted to extend my curfew or something. Backstory, I am from a REALLY small town, with really not a whole lot for teenagers to do. So my friends and I liked to hang out at the waffle house by this bar. Every Friday/Saturday night, it never failed, like 3 or 4 drunk people would get arrested and my friends and I liked to watch. It was 10/10 entertainment.
So one night, sh*t was going DOWN one night at this particular Waffle House. So I called my parents and asked them if I could extend my curfew. I told them why and they didn't believe me, so they called the Waffle House where I was and asked for me. When the waitress (who knew me well, because I was there A LOT) handed me the phone, my mom was like, "...Oh, you really are at the Waffle House." I think that was the first time my mom realized that I was a loser. Needless to say, I got my curfew extension.
An overwhelming majority of us have plenty of things we are annoyed by every single day, and also lack the power to doing anything about them.
That unfortunate, infuriating state is just the norm. We walk through life seeing, hearing, and enduring daily pitfalls whose existences make zero sense to us.
But if we did have the power to outlaw just one of those annoyances, how hard of a choice would that be?
Apparently for some Redditors, the choice was clear. They were happy to share their selection.
Redditor jinxy_wolfy asked:
"What would you ban?"
Many people have absolutely had it with the annoying aspects of using the internet every day.
"That damn fake 'x' button to close out mobile game adds" -- WebbedRose103
"Or when it's a real x button, but they make it so small that you click the ad anyway." -- tomuglycruise
"That and the moving button that makes you click on ads as it loads more and more ads." -- Maester_erryk
Others spoke specifically about the world of advertising and constantly encountering people trying to sell something. The lengths they'll go are endless.
"You're no longer allowed to advertise a lower price than what the customer will pay. No more $29.99... plus $100 in fees."
"Calling someone you don't know to solicit. I get 12+ calls a day and block each one and still get 12 more the next day. I'll hang up on them because they're calling while I'm using GPS and they'll just immediately call and interrupt the map again."
Glue and Plastic
"selling food that looks significantly different in person than it does in advertising/food glamour shots." -- skepticones
"This is why I like eating out in Japan. There are plastic examples of dishes in the front window. If something looks good, you go in and ask for it, and it matches the one in the window every time!" -- EmEmPeriwinkle
And others set their sights on the toxic elements of human culture that seem to make everyone worse off.
All About Context
"Too many loopholes in current law. For instance Dr. Oz would lose his medical license if he told a patient in his office the same things he says on TV. But broadcasts aren't technically doctor-patient relationships, so he gets away with misleading millions of people."
"Puppy mills" -- godhasmoreaids
"Backyard breeders too imo. I see a lot of poorly bred dogs who have major issues because a family wants a payday." -- EmEmPeriwenkle
Poor All Other Animals
"MarineLand and all zoos that mistreat their animals."
Genuine nature preserves that respect and care for their animals, with lots and lots of room, hey, more power to you. But establishments that keep animals as exhibits in tiny spaces have to be stopped."
"Child beauty pageants, just fu** off with that sh**" -- Russian_Terminator
"Yes. It is disgusting to see little girls caked with makeup parading around in adult clothing.Gross." -- glenarbourgal
Of course, none of us will get the chance to ban any of these things. But we can dream, can't we?
From our childhood through our adult years, one thing we all dream of from time to time is all the things we could do if we had unlimited resources. Buy a castle and become your own anti-hero, solve world hunger, adopt ALL the animals, live on an endless cruise around the world, heck, buy a whole political party *cough cough*.
Most of us would be content making sure our family and friends were set for life and bettering the world the best we can.
Redditor ApArAmY wanted to hear what everyone else dreamed of doing if they had no limit on funds.
“What is the first thing you would buy if you had infinite money?"
Dreaming of affordable health care? Must be from the US...
“Every single medical provider facility in the world. Make healthcare free for patients. Since I have unlimited money, I can afford whatever drug/device/material/salary/etc that would treat patients.”
“Then everyone can get on with living life knowing that they'll get good medicine and not be saddled with high costs. And taxes could go down because governments wouldn't have to pay for healthcare.” Specialist-Ad475
20 trillion, no big deal...
“I'd fund all efforts to further the fight against climate change, global warming, pollution, etc. I'd probably try not to spend that much money for a while so as to prevent inflation, but adding ~20 trillion dollars to the global economy wouldn't be that bad, right?” PixelGMS
The orange one wouldn't like this idea...
“I'd buy Mar a Lago, make it into a homeless shelter and install wind power turbines on all 18 holes." Mr-Warmth
Someone come get their dad!
“A new butt, my old one has a crack in it!" drewdwagy1966seth meyers dabbing GIF by Late Night with Seth MeyersGiphy
Human rights and green energy...
“Buy Amazon, Nestle, and as many $1billion+ corporations as I can. Once I'm CEO, I would stop every human rights violation they cause and give all the profits (since i have infinite money I won't need it) to charities and funding to green energy and stopping climate change." crispier_cream
“It sounds silly, but an ice cream sandwich. Several years ago, I was living paycheck to paycheck and had a fair amount of credit card debt. I fell behind in my mortgage and lost my home to foreclosure. Shortly after I was notified, I drove over to a 7-11, bought an ice cream sandwich, and ate it while crying in my car.”
“Unfortunately, every time I eat an ice cream sandwich, it's still a bittersweet feeling. I always think of the day my favorite childhood comfort food became forever intertwined with my sense of complete and utter failure. After coming into life-changing money, I would hope that an ice cream sandwich would taste as good again as it did when I was a kid.” Steve-in-rewrite
“Just….. a huge chunk of land.”
“Land. Just….. a huge chunk of land. Build a house for my parents, one for us, and one for my In-Laws, and another small house for the family to stay at when they come to visit. Maybe two. We got a big family. And then just spend my time building my farm." Unusual_Amphibian_20
Just make sure to funnel it through a PAC first...
“A US Senator! Or several of 'em. I've always wanted my own senator.” a_dangerous_noodleSusan Collins Thank You GIF by Election 2020Giphy
The who’s got a bigger one game...
“Judging by the world we live in, apparently I'd enter into the private space race.” Cool-breeze7
Back to the bartering system perhaps?
“I would distribute it all evenly so that it's literally worthless. I would expect this to collapse the economy but what do i know, I'm not an economist.” Jham_jam
It seems like mostly these Redditors want to help others and the planet. Although for that one person, may all your ice cream sandwiches be delightful.
I admit that I am not a picky eater by any stretch of the imagination. I eat just about anything. I also consider myself pretty adventurous; when I travel, eating good food and trying the local cuisine is at the top of my list!
But even I would be hard-pressed to eat durian or even balut.
Would I say absolutely not? I'll have to get back to you after a trip to Southeast Asia. The jury's out for now.
People had very strong opinions on the food they want nothing to do with after Redditor KentuckyFriedEel asked the online community,
"What dish/food can f*** right off?"
"The edible KFC nail polish. Imagine you are spending the day touching public door handles and keyboards and stuff and then sucking your fingers for chicken paint."
This... this exists?
I'm so happy I've never actually run into this. I was doing just fine without this knowledge.
"Canned whole chickens. Not sure if anyone's seen those, but I want to vomit right now just thinking about it."
I can only think about how slimy it must be from all that congealed fat and it grosses me out.
"Pufferfish. I mean, you need like 2 to 3 years of training to serve it and if you accidentally eat the wrong part it will kill you. The poison has no known antidote and 1 needle can kill 30 adult humans. Other than that, it's just a fish. There are thousands of fish all over the world, just eat a different one"
Yeah... I love seafood but I'll pass. I don't want to be that person. I'm good, thanks!
"For those who aren't familiar..."
"Gefilte fish. For those who aren't familiar, it's like a ball of fish guts packaged in a jar. It's a common food eaten during Pesach."
"Shark fin soup. No taste, no nutritional value. Only to be had to show wealth/status in certain countries. Most importantly, it's really f***** up the shark populations."
Environmentalists have done some splendid work getting people to stop eating this––and imitation shark fin soup seems to be more available than the real thing.
God created the heavens and the earth, and everything in his creation.
He allowed Satan to create one thing... one at all, and Satan created the durian."
"Natto/fermented soybeans. It's sticky and disgusting. It's like Death and Hell had a sticky baby."
"I'm sick of people..."
"Celery. Useless vegetable, no nutritional value at all and just tastes disgusting. I'm sick of people ruining perfectly good egg/potato salads and soups with freaking celery. It's just unnecessary."
Celery's only crime is how inoffensive it actually is. Does it deserve this hate? Probably not.
"Liver. I mean... it's a filter. Why would anyone want to eat a filter?"
You can pry my liver out of my cold, dead hands. I'll have yours if you don't want it!
"I thought I hated..."
"Canned Spinach. I thought I hated spinach for half my life. Nope, I love it, just not that snot in a can. Why did you feed me that mother? Why?"
Okay, what I've learned today is... I could have done without the thought of canned whole chicken. My stomach wants to reject it and it's not even in my stomach. That should tell you something.
Have some opinions of your own? Feel free to tell us all about them in the comments below!
Death is inevitable. It's a truth we're always trying to outrun. Yet we do so many things to speed up the process.
Everyday we are helping ourselves to an early grave. And there are so many ways to avoid that trip. People are telling us all of the time how we can be healthier and better. There are literally books and blogs about ways to keep on keeping on.
So why don't we try and follow some of these ideas. And maybe we should begin trying to pinpoint were we are off and how we could try and avoid that which is poisoning us. Like carbs, well too many carbs, at least for me.
Redditor u/Babynouil wanted everyone to listen up, to make sure we live as long as possible, by asking:
What's something a lot of people do, but don't realise it's shrinking their life expectancy ?
Rule number one for living a healthy and productive life... "AVOID ALL POLITICS FROM THIS MOMENT ON!!" I swear that is killing us all, swiftly! Turn off CNN, FOX, MSNBC... all of it! Stop!
MOVE!Tired Good Morning GIF by FreeformGiphy
"Sitting too much. Our bodies are not built for the insanely sedentary lives we live. Even many of us who are relatively active spend most of the day sitting at a desk at the office and then sitting on a couch/gaming chair/whatever all night."
"Screw up their sleep schedule."
"Some of us can't help it. I remember being as young as 10 years old and constantly waking up several times in the night, seemingly for no reason (and it still happens 5 out of 7 night these days, in my late 30s)."
"Then I read a few years back that severe PTSD can disrupt your ability to sleep through the night, sometimes for the rest of your life, and suddenly everything made sense. As such I'm lucky if I spend two straight weeks on a "normal" sleep schedule. Right now, I'm a 5AM -1:30PM sleeper."
"Tension caused by worrying about things beyond our control."
"I'm stressing because my kid just started school and is having a hard time. Whenever I started a new year of school, I'd get sick with a cold. Now I'm sick with a cold because I'm worried about my kid."
"Work is killing us. We need to figure out for ourselves what we need to do to offset out jobs. I had a standing job for over a decade. It is only slightly better. Standing in one place is terrible for the circulation into your legs. It's also really hard on your feet, ankles, knees and lower back. Fatigue mats, better shoes, etc only go so far in helping. Throw in a couple repetitive motion injuries from the job itself and even after 5 years in an office job later I still have pain."
I definitely need to put my phone down. Especially when I drive. It's like an addiction. Also, my sleep is a mess. I doing my best. And someone teach me meditation.
ActiveWorking Out Lifting Weights GIF by Chance The RapperGiphy
"Being stationary too much and not enough movement and activity. So many problems slowly creep up on you."
"Go outside without a hat or sunscreen."
"People have been using some form of sun screen for hundreds of years. Whether it be plants, mud, etc. Plus, the UV index is ridiculous in comparison to what it used to be due to the climate crisis so the risk is actually much greater."
"Not building deep relationships. Doesn't matter if friendships or romantic relationships, deeply connected human beings live longer than people who isolate themselves or have rather shallow relationships. So, just so you know: THAT'S what friends are for. ;-) "
"Being severely anti-social is all I know. I am slowly developing a minor case of agoraphobia. I don't have any friends, and every time I meet someone new I freak out and don't talk to them ever again."
"I need therapy but I can't afford it. Online options aren't really options, because most of them are either extremely impersonal, expensive, or other various issues. Also I generally have a very bad history with therapists and don't like doing it because I usually come out feeling worse."
Call Erin Brokovich
"Living near steel mills. The area I live in thrives off of these and the air pollution from them has caused SCARY high cancer rates, lung problems, and thyroid issues."
"There's a city near where I live that is nicknamed Steel City because of the amount of steel mills and other metal working facilities that exist there. I started visiting friends that lived there on a regular basis when i got my license many years ago."
"Almost every young adult at the time had this random twitch that happened every few minutes. They all acted like it was completely normal. "No, that's not normal at all, wtf is in your tap water?" I said. Most of those facilities are shut down now, and I don't see the same issue anymore."
Water. I always forget water. It's so vital. Does ice count? I put ice in everything. You gotta start somewhere. Let's get healthy people.
Reread all of this.