A deleted Redditor wanted everyone to share about the times we've been left red in the face, so they asked:
"What is the most embarrassing thing you've ever said to someone you were trying to impress?"
I once fell off of a treadmill trying to flirt with my high school crush.
I was running way too fast to show my "stamina."
I destroyed my Discman and my dignity.
Oh My
Licking Ice Cream GIF by MLB NetworkGiphy"Crush in High School worked at an ice cream store. When she asked for toppings I said 'I’ll have Reese’s penises please.' The store laughed."
WhaleyWino235
Tom Morello's Hometown
"I worked at the local guitar shop in town in high school. It happens to be Tom Morello's hometown (of rage against the machine fame). The owner used to babysit him when Tom was little and he'd always stop by to say hi when they were in town on tour. This was around the time of the evil empire and they were at peak popularity."
"He came in one day while I was there and asked if John was in. 16-year-old me just looked at him and asked 'Do you know who you are?!?!' He just laughed and said yes. Humiliated I went and got the owner and then tried to hide and die from shame."
matthewmichael
Echoes
"I was around 15, going through the receiving line at my cousin's wedding. This was my first 'grown-up' wedding and I wanted to act it. As I hugged my cousin I blurted out 'I'm so excited to be here! The last wedding I was at was your first one!'"
"That has echoed in my head for 30 years."
"E: This was my cousin's second wedding. The groom's first."
LGBecca
No Tip
"A server trying to get a tip: I went to clear a shared dessert dish from a table of 4 - mom, dad, and 2 sons. One son jokingly pointed at his mom and said 'She ate most of it.' I, the braindead server who was/is terrible at banter, but trying to get a tip said the first reply that came to mind: 'I can tell.' No idea why. Terrible reaction, as expected. No tip."
1nd1anaCroft
Snap
Buffering Back To School GIF by Rodney DangerfieldGiphy"I can do a Kickflip, then proceed to elegantly snap my ankle."
Mrlightyboy
Why do we risk our lives?
Have we really lost the ability for a simple flirt?
Where?
The Beautiful Game Thumbs Up GIF by World CupGiphy"I did once (truthfully) tell a girl from Austria that I didn't know what the capital of Austria was - which wouldn't be too embarrassing, except that I was wearing a t-shirt which said 'Vienna Rocks' on it at the time. She thought I was joking."
Ok-Fudge8848
The Red Lights
"I told everyone I knew about my plan to go on a trip to Europe. I had planned to tour different countries by train with a special visit to… Amsterdam. My intention was to visit a marijuana cafe, but in my ignorance, I thought that these were all located in the red lights district. I would tell people I was going to the red light district and they would understandably pause and ask me… why?"
"Trying to be sly I would say something like 'to do what the locals do of course,' believing that this meant smoking marijuana in a cafe… I was actually telling everyone I knew, friends, teachers, relatives, coworkers, that I was going to cross the Atlantic so I could hire a sex worker."
Virtual-Elderberry31
How Far You'll Go
"Was on an airplane years ago with my girlfriend and her parents. My girlfriend couldn't get a seat next to me and sat directly behind me. During the flight, I thought I would surprise her and reached my hand back onto her knee. Slowly I kept extending it up her thigh until I heard giggling."
"Looked behind through the seats and saw that my hand was on the leg of the guy next to her. He saw my face and said, 'I just wanted to see how far you'd go.' Of course, my girlfriend was in on it and started laughing along with the rest of the row. Was so embarrassed."
Ladon1949
Not Cool
"I was skating at a school and my girlfriend calls me and says she wants to hang out. Tell her I'm skating but she can meet me at the school and we can figure out what we're doing from there. She shows up looking cute AF, so clearly I need to impress her. There was a little two stair where she was waiting for me and I went to do a BS 180 down it. Instead of just landing normally, I thought I would look more bada** if I stomped the landing."
"As I landed my lead foot came off the board and I landed with all of my weight on that ankle... Immediate excruciating pain ensued and I'm on the ground rolling in pain. My sad attempt to look cool skating had turned into one of the worst injuries I received and an extremely embarrassing moment. The pain was so bad I could barely drive my car back home because I severely injured my right ankle."
"Didn't break my ankle but I did have a severe ankle sprain. I've had surgery on it and it's much better, but it just has never been quite the same. As far as the girlfriend goes, we're still together and have been married for 10 years."
DJAXL
Listen Again
Go Away Beyonce GIFGiphy"I told a musician I like that I liked a specific song. It was not his song."
Naca-7
We are so silly.
Why can't we just say 'Hey' and get on with it?
Such drama.
What's that smell?
"That there really was a gas leak in the apartment building."
"Thankfully, the fire didn't cause much damage."- yamsnavas2.
There's a reason the bill is so high.
"Our water usage at work went up a lot."
"They checked all the toilets, sinks for leaks, couldn't find anything."
"I mentioned that it seemed to coincide with the new water cooler system installation, maybe that should be checked."
"They basically laughed at me."
"That stupid water system never worked good and the guy came in 3 different times and said it was just the filter."
"Every month it needs changed???"
"Didn't seem right."
"Finally a different technician came in and result was it was never installed correctly."
"I asked, 'could that have anything to do with the increased water usage that started when this got installed?'"
" He smiled 'I wondered if anyone caught that, yes the valve was not correct and water has been running'."
"For 5 months!!"
"If only they had listened."
"Total redemption!"- McTee967.
Nbc Jump GIF by SuperstoreGiphyHave you ever looked at a map?
"I had a coworker doubling down repeatedly, claiming that new Zealand is north of Australia."
"I even told her about how I had lived there and she just assumed I was such a huge idiot that I didn't know where on the globe I was living."
"Brought the smartphone out and put an end to that."
"Let me just say, it's ok to not know where all the countries are."
"The problem is if you heavily assert you are right and others are stupid."- PlopPlopPlopsy.
Is it supposed to hurt this much?
"My husband told me that I was a 'baby' about my IUD insertion and insisted that it wasn't painful."
"That my concerns about entrusting a stranger to shove a foreign object into my body were paranoid."
"I listened to him because really, the info you'd find online is overwhelmingly positive."
"Long story short: the provider placed it wrong, didn't check/fix it when I asked her to."
"I spent 4 years in pain that I eventually 'got used to."
"It expelled half way out my cervix, had to get it yanked out at the ER."
"That's when I was told that copper IUDs are notorious for breaking inside the uterus."
"Because it broke inside me."
"The cherry on top?"
"The female gyno with three kids I saw to get the broken piece removed told me that 'cervixes don't really feel pain' and that I didn't really need to remove it."
"Goes without saying, I was in severe pain for 2 weeks straight before this appointment."
"Tons of women came out with their stories about lawsuits over IUDs, how they got pregnant with an IUD."
" Stories similar to mine."
"And how women should really be offered anesthesia or pain pills for this procedure."
"And when my husband was surprised to learn about the pain I endured I reminded him 'You called me a baby and everyone else told me it was all in my head'."
"Which is why I didn't talk about it."- PopK0rnAndMMs.
Seems like you could learn something from me.
"In sixth grade chemistry a teacher asked us what element was a gas that was lighter than air, and extremely flammable/explosive."
"I grew up on science because of what my dad does for a living and Bill Nye."
"I knew about the Hindenburg, and so I was really proud of myself when I raised my hand and said 'Hydrogen'."
"The teacher laughed at me and said that no, it was Helium, and the entire rest of the class proceeded to laugh too."
"Almost three decades later I work in a lab now, and f*ck that teacher I was right."- vanyel_ashke.
Season 8 Teacher GIF by FriendsGiphyThe dictionary is your friend.
"I have worked as a translator and a proofreader."
"For one of my translations, it went something like 'and he piqued her interest'."
"My proofreader docked me for an inaccuracy and switched it to 'and he peaked her interest'.”
"I’m still salty."
"I tried to get the agency I was working for to remove this person as a proofreader since I question his/her command of the English language."
"Had a similar problem with the phrase “lynch pin” used metaphorically."
"I stopped working with that agency because it pissed me off so much being 'corrected' incorrectly."- spot_o_tea.
spelling GIFGiphyNo, that's just an illusion.
"When I told my mom that the clouds were moving and she laughed like I was crazy."-
Did you even read the menu?
"I was in the passenger's seat at a Carl's Jr Drive Thru with a friend."
"He asked what I wanted and I requested the Fried Zucchini."
"He puts half his body through the window to the voice box and goes on this 'My friend here thinks you have some kind of food I know you don't have so I am just going to say it for laughs because you will get a kick out of this'."
"She wants FRIED ZUCCHINI' and starts laughing."
" Well guess who ends up eating fried zucchini."- User Deleted.
And how do you spell that?
"Believe it or not, the pronunciation of my own middle name."- ThePlantie.
We have standards in this community...
"Not me but my Mom tells a story about how she wrote a paper for school about how tough her small town makes it for any new people moving in."
"Basically if you didn't grow up there you were a social outcast for decades and were excluded from a lot of things."
"The teacher didn't agree so she got a bad grade and scoffed at."
"A few years later a news paper reporter essentially wrote the same thing and won a local award for calling out the same small town BS that was going on."- Jberg18.
It's pretty amazing that anyone in this day and age would jump to tell someone they're wrong without having any authority.
Particularly when someone can quickly look up the truth on their phone in less than a minute.
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RedditorShlegnogwanted to see who would fess up about some qualities we possess. So they asked:
"What’s something that you do that you’re pretty sure is normal, but you don’t know for sure?"
I talk to myself to go to sleep. It's soothing. Anyone else?
Pockets
Animated GIFGiphy"Putting my hands on my pockets where I keep my phone/wallet when I closely pass by someone, just in case they may be a pickpocket."
TheYeti4815162342
Wiped
"That one dude yesterday and elsewhere on reddit posted that he only wiped once after pooping and was certain that he didn't need more than one wipe to get the job done. I definitely use multiple wipes until the tissue is clean... but now I'm questioning if there are secretly a bunch of (literal) nasty-a** people out there."
SmokeGSU
Keep Dreaming
"I daydream constantly. I'll sit there and be imagining I'm the hero of some story, or I just won a billion dollars and how I'm spending it. I just have an imagination I get lost in when nothing is happening. It's so easy to get lost when you have an extremely vivid imagination. Sometimes I think it's childish, but then I realize it's honestly just a relaxing habit that maybe some adults are too stressed to be able to practice."
__________lIllIl
Mind Reader
"If I'm out in public (grocery store, school pick up line, doc office, etc), I'll have a quick thought of 'I wonder if anyone is reading my mind right now. Quick! Don't think of anything weird!' and then I proceed to automatically start thinking of weird s**t or trying to tell this imaginary mind reader that I'm totally not a weird person or side-eyeing people that I see."
ArtsySAHM
Conversations
Talking Blah Blah Blah GIF by Wiz KhalifaGiphy"Having imaginary conversations with people, that I know will never actually happen in real life."
Bulgasauri
Conversations with others who aren't there. That is a popular one.
LOUDER
Sea Lion Reaction GIF by CameoGiphy"Whenever I haven't talked to a person for a couple of hours, I just say something out loud to test if my voice still exists."
Flux-bite
Popping In...
"Horrible intrusive thoughts. They pop in without warning, and without trigger. It's usually the standard 'what if I drove off the side of this bridge' or 'I bet it would hurt to stab myself with this thing' but they can even be worse: I was washing dishes yesterday."
"My wife was heading to our bedroom to pick something up. For some reason, I imagined her grabbing my gun and blowing her brains out. It really upset me. I had to pull her aside and give her a big hug, and I explained to her what happened, to where she reminded me 'I can't even load the f**king thing.' Do ya'll do s**t like this?"
GeauxAllDay
Guzzle
"The amount of water I can consume. I know they say you should drink when you are thirsty, but I can be thirsty a lot, especially during warm weather / summer days. I can easily drink 100oz (or about 3L) of water a day."
Jim105
"I drink so much water. I swear it's easily a gallon per day if I have water by me the whole day. It's funny too because everyone in my social circle hates water and almost never drink it and I just don't understand how that's even possible. Water is amazing!"
SimplyComplexd
Creeping in
"Against my will, my mind will imagine horrific scenarios wherein some tragic death scene of a loved one plays out. It used to be my doggies, but now that I'm a mom, I imagine *my* death, because that would be tragic to my kid (and maybe I just can't imagine my own kid's death, thankfully!). It's f**ked up and its gotten better generally, but when I'm stressed out, it'll creep back in."
epigenie_986
Name that Tune
Happy Dance GIF by benjamin lemoineGiphy"If I have a song stuck in my head I often click my teeth to the drum beat. When my wife notices me doing it she asks me what the song is."
CornerMoon
Louder!
"When I have a cringe thought or something negative on my mind I'll make some noise out loud to interrupt said thought."
Favnonpornomag
"My therapist actually told me to do this. She said if I have a negative thought (about myself was the issue) she said actually saying no out loud interrupts the thought and keeps you from continuing it. I feel like it really works!!"
crashbanecoot
"I do this. I hate it. I’ve been caught occasionally and try to weave into a song, as if I just happened to be singing when they strolled by, like that is somehow better."
crescendo83
Add it up...
"When I add 7 + 4, I break up the 4 into 3+1. 7+3 is obviously 10, 10+1=11. There is probably several other examples of math problems I break up in my head to make solving easier."
nivekps2
"This, believe it or not, is actually how common core math is supposed to be taught. Not the whole 'Put these numbers into boxes and break those boxed number up etc...'"
belac4862
"Actually I worked as a math tutor and that is exactly how we taught them that method lmao. like ofc they should break the numbers up into boxes, that’s how you learn to see 7+4 as (7+3)+1"
redbottleofpoison
Taps
"Slap my thighs as if they are percussion instruments when I’m bored."
XX_OVERLORD
"I do this with everything. I even change the shape of my hands to make different sounds, so I'll tap my fingers like drumsticks, flat hand for a similar style to you. I'm basically a one man band at this point."
KaleidoscopeInside
"If my keys are not in my pocket, I will sadly slap my empty pocket all day because I’m used to my hi-hat being there lol."
labamaFan
Tongue It
chips GIFGiphy"Look at each side of a potato chip/Dorito to determine what side I want to put against my tongue."
Konebred
Where is It?
"Whenever I leave a spot I've been sitting in outside, I make sure to look back and check if I've dropped anything."
consciously_comad
"I look back at the spot where I was sitting, but only to see if I left a butt print. (Not outside though! Inside, like in a waiting room)."
Appropriate_Day_8721
"Always. Picked up the habit after I lost my PE kit 19 times in one term of secondary school. One time the lost and found lady returned my PE kit to me before I’d noticed it was gone."
carmina_morte_carent
Scene to Scene
"Create scenarios in my head of how conversations would go, even though they’re likely to NEVER happen."
ManufacturerLess7116
"I seem to pratice potential conversations all the time. Or re-act a scene from a movie in my head. Or Redo a conversation I had earlier with somebody. By the third or fourth time replaying the conversation I sound so much smarter and quick wit. You know what, I going to pretend that’s how that conversation really went with my coworker."
CH11DW
“wetting”
"I wet my toothbrush, put on the toothpaste and then wet it again. Always wondered if this was normal but never asked."
tehkitryan
"I used to do this until very recently. I was wondering one day if the second wetting makes any noticeable difference. After a bit of testing, no wetting is very noticeable and not recommended, but I didn’t notice any difference between one or two wettings. I now absolutely despise the word 'wetting' as of typing this comment, but I only wet my toothbrush once."
LucidLumi
Clear!
Rubbing Season 3 GIF by The SimpsonsGiphy"Clearing a notification off my phone as soon as I get it, deleting most of my texts after a few days, and then swiping up on any open pages/apps at the end of the day."
byah1601
Me and Myself
"I talk to myself all the time, will also speak gibberish and make random other sounds. I feel weird about it, but I'm convinced it's way more normal than not. I think maybe I just somewhat subconsciously hate when things are too quiet."
leotonius
"My wife and I do this so definitely not you. Do you also ever feel compelled to mimic a sound after you hear it? It doesn't matter what it is, speech or some random sound, I find myself almost forced to do it especially if it's a unique or standout sound. Most of the time I don't even register the compulsion, I just hear the sound and mimic."
BookooBreadCo
We're all gifted. Feel no shame people. That is all.
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