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People Share The Dumbest Explanation Someone's Ever Given Them For Cheating

Being cheated on is a horrible feeling.

And some would say that cheating on your significant other is inexcusable.

Perhaps that's why when partners come up with excuses and reasons as to why they cheated often make these situations so much worse.

But in some cases, these excuses might end up lightening the situation, owing to the sheer idiocy of these justifications.

Redditor tall_boizz was curious to hear the lamest, most ludicrous excuses people were given from their unfaithful partners, leading them to ask:

"What is the dumbest explanation you've heard from someone who cheated?"


I saw you yesterday!

"I missed you."

"I was on a short vacation."- haynb03

It's not me, it's you

"'If you had confidence in yourself, none of this would have happened'."- marques33

Well, you did

"'I didn't want to hurt you'"

"Way to go, dude."- taalnerd

It was out of grief

“'My grandmother died'.”

"I didn’t realize cheating on your girlfriend is the standard grieving method." - User Deleted

Tears Crying GIFGiphy

I'm only monogamous in the city I'm in.

“'When you said you wanted to be exclusive I thought you meant exclusive here'."

"'You never even asked if I had a boyfriend'.”

"I had been 'dating' this girl for 3 months in college when she admitted that she had been in a long distance relationship with her boyfriend from high school the entire time and she had slept with him each time she visited her parents, which was at least once a month."- dring157

Um, what?

"'You deleted your Facebook, and my friend and I thought that was fishy'."

"I don't even know where to start with that kind of rationality."- RandylVlarsh

We were just too perfect

"'We never have any fights'."

"So you decide to cheat so I can get mad at you?"- somerandomredditor18

vanessa williams GIFGiphy

Hypocrite!

“'I wanted to try something new'.”

"He cheated on me with his ex."- meeez80

Quid Pro Quo... OOPS!

"‘I thought you were doing it too!’ "

"F*ck him!"- mawo77

I had to compartmentalize

"A friend in a long-distrance relationship who only saw his GF on weekends because she was at an army posting at the other end of the country during the week."

"He found out she was cheating on him with some guy."

"Her explanation?"

"'Well, for me the army and my private life are two different lives, so it makes sense I have two different boyfriends'."

"For context, I'm from Germany, this was the German army, and 'the other end of the country' was about six hours by train, the train being free for soldiers."

fox broadcasting sleeping GIF by The OrvilleGiphy

When people need to dig up excuses as laughable as these, it's often because they are well aware they were in the wrong.

Hopefully, the unlucky partners of this unfaithful, motley crew can take solace in the fact that they are now much better off.

The Fastest Ways People Have Seen A Coworker Get Fired

Reddit user Business_Reporter420 asked: 'What’s the fastest way you’ve ever seen a new coworker get fired?'

Waiter holding a tray of beverages
Kate Townsend/Unsplash

Getting a job may be difficult, but believe it or not, it's allegedly harder to get fired from jobs.

Employees have to seriously be incapable of doing the job they were hired for, or they must be so miserable after realizing the job description was not what they signed up for that they deliberately jeopardize their position just to be shown the door.

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Roommate Horror Stories
Photo by Adi Goldstein on Unsplash

Living with someone isn’t always easy. It can take a fair amount of patience and consideration to get along with another person. However, there are some roommates and living situations that are so difficult—so toxic and bizarre—that the best thing to do is pack your bags and get out fast. Buckle up, these nightmare roomies are the absolute worst.

1. Dr. Jekyll And Mr. Hyde

My roommate seemed like a normal, nice dude. He was a student at the local university. I had no problems with him until one day, law enforcement busted in and apprehended him while he was sleeping. The reason was utterly horrifying. I had no idea he had taken two guys and held them for ransom. One was set free weeks later, while the other wasn't so lucky.

The body was eventually found in a basement buried in the ground. I quickly moved out of there.

InformationFetus

2. Don’t Get Your Panties In A Pile

white textile on blue plastic laundry basketPhoto by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

My roommate was a bit of a nightmare. She was the kind of person who would come home at three am on a weeknight, bringing half the pub in tow. She was perpetually late on bills and useless at keeping the kitchen clean. She also had a bad habit when she went to take a shower. She would just drop/step out of her clothes, leaving them in a fabric pile on the floor in the bathroom, and not collect them for days.

One day when I got home from work, I went to take a shower. I encountered her usual filth pile. Still, something seemed...off. I recoiled in horror when I realized that MY underpants were in her pile. The fabric was unique, and they were now beyond ruined, caked with poo and blood. I confronted her. It turned out she was not good at remembering to do her laundry, so would regularly take my clean underwear out of the drier then eventually sneak them back into my laundry basket.

I went to get a health screening after that.

borishnykov

3. She’s Not Neat, But She’s A Freak

assorted-color disposable cup lotPhoto by Jas Min on Unsplash

I was looking for a roommate when I was starting graduate school. I'm a guy, but I enjoy living in a clean apartment. I'm not a neat freak or anything, but I like things to be presentable. Most of my college guy friends were pretty gross, so I thought, "Girls are clean! I'll live with one of my female friends!" As it so happened, one of my friends was also looking for a place.

She told me that she was a neat freak, and loved to clean. I thought, "Great! This will work out well." Nothing could have been further from the truth...She turned out to be the most disgusting human being I have ever encountered in my life, and also a pathological liar. When she ate a banana, she would peel the banana and just drop the peel on the floor. When she used eggs to cook, she would put the broken eggshells back in the fridge.

Every day I would ask her to do her dishes, and four days later the same dishes were in the sink building up a nice layer of mold. The worst part of it all is that WE HAD A DISHWASHER! She didn't even have to DO anything! Just put them in the dishwasher! She also took two to three hour-long showers every day and would run through half a roll of toilet paper every day.

She would proceed to fill up our trash can with the thirty cans of Coke Zero that she drank every day, then make me take out the trash. Every day when she got home from classes, she would take an hour-long shower, put on a bathrobe, sit on the floor, and eat junk food in front of the TV. The bottom half of her robe was all grimy, and the spot where she sat on the floor got grimy too. There was a massive, circular stain left on the carpet.

Japandrew89

4. Even The Garbage Collector Won’t Touch It

cars parked on street near buildings during daytimePhoto by Charlie Gallant on Unsplash

Our garbage wasn't getting picked up. In the first week, I figured garbage collection had just missed us. In the second week, our can was full, so we left a bunch of bags next to it. They took the bags but didn't empty the can. When the third week came around, I chased the collectors down the street to see what was going on.

The guy told me that they won't empty the cans because they are full of two-liter bottles of urine, and they won't take the risk of one breaking and squirting on them. One of my roommates had been peeing in two-liter bottles because he was too lazy to walk to the bathroom, which was right next to his room. I had to pull them all out to get the trash people to finally empty our can.

allegedly-fool

5. We Do Not Seek Your Confession, Only The Rent Money

We had a guy who was your typical bad roommate. He didn't do anything around the house, and his room smelled, quite inexplicably, of salami. He set up his PC in the living room one day, essentially taking over our social space without asking anyone. He would sit there for days on end playing video games. Then he disappeared.

We realized that he had skipped out without having paid his rent for a few weeks. He owed us a few hundred dollars. Good thing for us, he inadvertently left his Warhammer figurine collection behind. It was quite a collection, all hand-painted. A friend of ours who knew about Warhammer stuff said this collection was easily worth three or four times more than what he owed us.

We started looking into selling it to cover rent, maybe fund a weekend of partying, and move on with our lives. One day about a week later, he showed up. He was blatantly looking behind couches and things trying to look for his collection while trying to act cool and pretend he didn’t owe us any money. We had a few minutes of awkward small talk before he asked if we had seen his black Warhammer chest.

My roomie who handled the bills said, “Nah man sorry. We've had a few pretty epic parties since you moved out. Hopefully, no one took it or something. Oh and hey man some of your rent didn't go through can we grab that off you when it's convenient?” The guy turned white as a sheet and gave us a line about paying us tomorrow, then left.

About an hour later, we finally got our revenge. We sent him a text saying, “General Anatole. Your army is in our clutches. Honor your agreement and we will be lenient and grant their freedom. Should you choose not to pay the reparations owed to us, we will slaughter them to a man. You have until nightfall, three days hence to meet our ultimatum. For good or for ill."

He paid us the next day and we gave him back his stuff.

Permalink

6. She Spewed On My Suitcase

brown hatPhoto by Marissa Grootes on Unsplash

My freshman college roommate. One night, during finals period, she had one of her high school friends come to visit. They went out drinking and came back at 2:00 am or so. We had just been trying out this new bunk bed idea, and I was on the top bunk. She stumbled into her bottom bunk and tossed around a little. I thought she was asleep.

I heard her get out of bed and assumed she was going to the bathroom to puke or something. Instead, I saw her stumble over to my closet and sit down inside. I realized with horror what was about to happen. I tried to jump down from my bed, but she began to projectile vomit. She puked all over my stuff: my suitcase, my shoes, and all my clothes.

Then, she promptly went back to her bed, passed out, and ignored me the rest of the night. Anyway, I was seething mad, so I got the resident assistant so that I could handle it reasonably. I took all the quarters she had for laundry and started to do my laundry at three am. By the time I finished, it was around five am, so I went to bed.

I woke up two hours later to go to my 8:30 am class. I got back after my classes at 11:00 am, and promptly went back to sleep. I left a note telling her not to wake me up under any circumstances, and that we were going to have to have a real talk about the situation later. At around 1:00 pm, she woke me up and started apologizing.

I told her that if she wanted to apologize, then she should clean out my suitcase because it was covered in her vomit. She damp-sponged it once and said she was done. It still had puke in all the crevices and stuff, so I told her to actually clean it because I don't want her puke on my suitcase, to which she replied, "Ugh, I made one mistake, stop punishing me for it.”

I suggested she buy me another suitcase if she didn't want to clean this one, and she refused to do that either. On top of everything, she also told me that I had no right to take her laundry quarters without asking her the night before. We still don't talk, and that suitcase sits, puke stained and all, in my closet.

i_ate_your_shorts

7. Out In The Cold

My significant other and I lived with his brother and another guy—but we had no idea just how horrible our roommate truly was. I'll never forget when the three of us left the apartment for a week, only to return to a total nightmare. While we were away, the city endured an extreme cold weather warning. When we got home, the house reeked of left-out food, and it was FREEZING.

The furnace broke right after we left, and our roommate let it go for two weeks. When it got cold, he just left and went to his friend’s. Our pipes froze then burst. We walked into a lovely situation.

Permalink

8. Resale Racket

File:Seal of the FBI.svg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.org

I had flown home to Texas to go to a family funeral. Two days into my trip, I had FBI Special Agents call my phone, and tell me they had confiscated all the computers in my house. Apparently, my roommate ran an eBay theft and resale ring out of my apartment. The agents said it was clear I had no idea what was going on, hence, I was cleared of all wrongdoing.

Lesson learned. If your roommate is cagey with you about how they pay rent, it's probably not good.

Brainling

9. That Girl Is Crazy

It started with the four of us rooming together. My one roommate developed a weird clinginess to one of my other roommates. She would shut herself in her room and spew details of her personal hygiene at random while crying for no reason. She then obsessed over the guy living below us. She referred to him as her husband and would get very defensively jealous if I or any other female talked to him. Then things got worse.

She started vacuuming maniacally at 4:00 am, but she called law enforcement on me and another roommate at 11:30 pm for being too loud. Officers showed up and she lied, accusing of taking drugs. The officers found the whole thing crazy and left after we offered to let them search our apartment. Then the knives disappeared.

Weird noises began emanating from her room. On one of the most harrowing nights, she showed up in just a towel at my door, screaming at me because she didn’t wear makeup and her chest was real. She then pledged that she was going to off one of our other roommates. I started recording our interactions and my roommates filed a report. After showing the Dean the recordings, she got moved out.

It was by far the scariest and most bizarre interaction I’ve ever had with a person.

SVGNorway

10. A Different Type Of Clogging

white ceramic bathtub near white ceramic bathtubPhoto by Martin Jaroš on Unsplash

My roommate had a room with her own bathroom. She would constantly clog her toilet by using napkins as toilet paper since she didn't want to buy toilet paper. After she clogged it, she would resort to using everyone else's bathroom in the hallway with no intention of fixing her own. One day she clogged the toilet my other roommates and I used as well.

While she was out, my roommates and I went into her room to see what was up with her bathroom. When I opened the door, my jaw dropped.There was month-old poop still in the toilet, along with piles of clothes all over the floor. She also had two dogs that she had neglected and she always tried to take our community recycling so she could keep the money for herself.

snowlin

11. Free Bleedin’

I shared a 12x12 dorm room with a girl who would free bleed when she was menstruating and leave trails of her blood from our room to the bathroom and not clean it up. She would leave crusty underwear on the floor on my side of the room, next to my bed, while at the same time she insisted we divide the room with tape, and freaked out if anything of mine crossed that border. But that was only the beginning of the nightmare.

She was 18 and had a creepy 31-year-old fiance that she had been with for six years that would stay over every weekend, and watch her sleep over Skype every weeknight, while I was in view of the camera. She smelled so bad that other students in our hall started lodging complaints about the horrible stench coming from our room.

And to top it off, she had a bunch of plants in the room that I was allergic to that were making me miserable, and she refused to get rid of them.

Titsticular_Cancer

12. Stop Following Me!

person playing guitar in close up photographyPhoto by Gabriel Yuji on Unsplash

One of my roommates in college insulted me daily, threw stuff at me from across the room, wrote mildly insulting music regarding me, and sang it poorly. However, what was even worse was his borderline stalking behavior. If I went to the library, so did he. If I left to go somewhere, he would hunt me down. He was good at figuring out where I was going.

He eventually stopped when he landed a girlfriend. I was about a day away from going to the room advisory office and demanding one of us be moved to a different room.

Cpu46

13. Notification Nightmare

Back during my dorm days, I had an apartment-style setup, so we all had our own rooms. One of my roommates had large speakers that he liked to use every morning at 3:00 am. However, he didn't use them for music. Instead, he used them for the notification sound Facebook gives you when you get a message, so there was a constant popping sound.

He also didn't like to do dishes or clean his room, so he didn't. We all had our own rooms, so it didn't seem like a huge deal, and it wasn't at first. However, his room soon started to smell really bad, as if something had expired in there.

maxx620s

14. An All-Around Dirtbag

apples and bananas in brown cardboard boxPhoto by Maria Lin Kim on Unsplash

I had a roommate that ate all of my groceries ($60 worth) the day I got them while I was gone. He made a very nice meal for his girlfriend, and her friend as well, and claimed he didn’t have the cash and didn’t want to go to the store. He also drank all my beer, didn’t clean or do the dishes, and slept with my girlfriend when I was out of town.

NotAThrowAwayUN

15. The Imaginary Friend

There was one guy who had a rather interesting routine. He would begin by closing the door to his room and address some imaginary woman who had snuck inside when he wasn't looking. He would say, "Well, what are you doing here? Uh-huh. Oh, really? Well, I guess I'd better take my pants off, then." A few seconds would pass, after which he would speak again. "So, how about you get undressed too? I'll just lay here and wait for you to be ready.”

“Oh, you're ready now? Well, go ahead and climb on top of me, then." Several minutes would pass before anything else would become audible again, and then the next part of his messed-up routine would begin. He would open, then slam his bedroom door, then sprint down the hallway to the bathroom and slam that door. He'd be in there for a few minutes, flush the toilet, slam the door again, run down the hall, then lock himself in his bedroom.

He would do this every night!

RamsesThePigeon

16. Living In Oblivion

yellow fruitPhoto by Alex Lvrs on Unsplash

I was living with someone when I came home from vacation and found thousands of dead fruit flies throughout our refrigerator and kitchen. There were roach carcasses in the bathroom, and my roommate's cat had either vomited or marked its territory in a number of other ways in every room of the house. She said she hadn’t noticed any problems.

bombass_horchata

17. Paranoia Will Destroya

One of my roommates and his girlfriend wouldn't leave the bedroom for weeks because they thought my other roommate and I had it out for them. As a result, they would go to the bathroom in empty paint cans, which they left in the closet. They were served an eviction notice due to non-payment of rent and nailed their bedroom door shut to keep us out because they were paranoid after the eviction notice.

They left two weeks later in the middle of the night. When they left, they locked the front door, then broke it down because they forgot something. I had to replace everything in the bedroom including the carpet and door, the walls needed to be repainted, and in some places re-drywalled, and a new front door had to be installed. I was out $2500 for rent plus another $3000 for repairs.

Iredude

18. The Day The Xbox Died

white xbox one game controllerPhoto by Kamil S on Unsplash

I had a friend of mine move in with me. He was a cool guy, I even introduced him to my friends. He was working for his uncle, until he got hit by a car, broke his arm, and ended up moving back home, about seven hours away. After a few months at home, he came back to visit. He was spending more and more time at my place and wanted to move back.

His uncle wouldn't hire him back, so he needed a job. About two months before he moved back, he came to visit and spent a week handing out resumes so he would have a job when he moved in. He told me he had six interviews lined up for the week after he got back. I was working 50+ hours a week at the time, so I didn't know what he was doing with his time, which was nothing. Letting him move in with me was a huge mistake.

I would get home from my shift at 4:00 am and he would be awake playing games on my Xbox. He played non-stop for most of the time he lived with me. I noticed he hadn't played my Xbox for about a week, which was unusual for him. I went to play it, and sure enough, it didn’t work. When I confronted him about it, he got angry and defensive, saying he didn't know what had happened.

He would routinely light up in the apartment when I wasn't home thinking I wouldn't find out. All the furniture was mine and I was not okay with this. Even though he was home all day, he never did dishes or cleaned, and denied making any mess, even if it was made when I was at work or asleep. Towards the end, he even stopped bathing and all my furniture smelled like garbage and smoke.

When he didn't pay rent and started treating my friends poorly, I convinced him to move back with his mom.

peopIe_mover

19. A Holiday Surprise

My roommate lost his job due to his drinking. I gave him the rent and bills before I left the state for Christmas. Looking back, I should've seen it coming...I came home to find I had no electricity, no gas, and notices of late rent. He spent all of the money on booze and had no money left to pay anything. I had to pay to get everything turned back on. But that was just the beginning.

He would regularly come home wasted and proceed to relieve himself in the kitchen, laundry, on the couch, and/or the bathroom floor. Finally, when I came to get my belongings to move out I found that he had pawned all my kitchen appliances.

ashfrorenfro

20. Party Poopers

man in black crew neck t-shirt holding white ceramic mugPhoto by Jacob Bentzinger on Unsplash

I used to work the afternoon shift, which meant that I'd usually get home around 1:00 am. My new roommate had just moved in a few days prior. One night I got home and walked in the door to find 50-odd people in our tiny apartment—and it was pure chaos. There were people punching holes in the walls, my TV was smashed on the ground, and a few people getting wasted on my couch.

The place was completely trashed. Not really knowing how to handle the situation, I went into my room to try to think. When I opened the door, I got hit with a stink that would outlast anything. My new roommate was getting busy with another guy in some rather messy way on my bed. There was poop all over my bed. So I went outside, called law enforcement, and watched the show unfold.

ask_me_if_Im_lying

21. Something’s Not Right

We found him on Craigslist to fill a room. He moved in and seemed a little weird for the first couple of days as he was getting settled. Soon, a smell started developing, and we slowly realized it was him. We never once saw him go to a laundromat. Occasionally, he would camp out in the bathroom for over an hour, and we'd hear these wet slapping sounds from inside.

We figured he's probably washing his clothes in the bathtub. We thought he was a little different, but we were all pretty laid back and thought we could make it work. Then it got worse. First, he tried making us dinner. He placed frozen chicken on a cookie sheet to bake. When we got back, not only had he eaten all of it, but the bones were in the trash, red like cherries because he'd basically eaten it all raw.

Next, he told us that every Monday he MUST watch RAW wrestling. We couldn’t help but make some snide comments, to which he exploded, screamed in a rage, and demanded that we take back everything we said about pro wrestling being scripted. He absolutely, 100% believed pro wrestling was candid and real. We found it sad, but we lost any pity for him quickly thereafter.

He would stay up chatting online all night until sunrise. We asked him to stop, but he didn’t. It turned out, he was voice chatting with high school girls from his hometown. We were all in our 20s. Soon thereafter, he started getting packages from these girls, which were full of food and money, because they were his girlfriends. Our annoyance quickly turned to full-blown repulsion.

One day he told us that his 16-year-old girlfriend was going to move into his room. We put our foot down. That was it for us. He was STILL voice chatting all night, so we started to remove the splitter that allowed him to have an internet connection in his room whenever we went to sleep. It only took two nights before he started screaming at one of our female roommates.

This dude was over six feet, the roomie he was yelling at was only five feet. Inappropriate to the extreme. Then my girlfriend got into the mix. I intervened and reminded him that he was merely subletting, and had signed a document saying he has no right to any notice. We called him a cab and told him to get out. He was gone within the hour.

PeterLemonjellow

22. Keeping Track

person using MacBook ProPhoto by Campaign Creators on Unsplash

My college roommate freshman year secretly kept an Excel spreadsheet monitoring my study habits. She would count the number of hours she saw my nose in a book. Later in the semester, after I had returned from a party, she attempted an intervention. I couldn't believe what I was hearing and was thoroughly creeped out.

She said, “I'm concerned about your study habits," and brought out a spreadsheet from the entire semester, comparing my total number of hours studying to the number of hours that were "recommended by my advisor” for the number of credits I was taking.

hairymonkeyinmyan

23. There Are No Flowers In This Attic

I lived in a house with the girl who owned the house, my boyfriend, our six-month-old, and another friend. The owner didn't have a job and asked us all to move in to help pay the bills, so her parents, who bought her the house, wouldn't default on their loan. We had been there about a month when we noticed that the owner rarely left her bedroom in the attic.

The only time she left was to sneak down to eat my food. She never got a job, or contributed in any way, except to ask when we were paying her. She also owned three cats that she couldn't afford. I had to buy them food or they would have starved. She never even cleaned their litter box. It reeked of ammonia. I finally got sick of cleaning up her mess and told her that when I got back from work, that she had better clean the litter box.

I had a baby living there and didn’t like for her to be out of our room because it smelled. I went to work and my boyfriend took our baby in the stroller to the store a block away. He forgot to take his keys and that crazy woman locked them out and refused to let them in. The baby was screaming for a bottle so he broke a window to try to crawl in to get her formula, which she refused to give us.

He called me at work, told me what happened and that officers could only make her give us our baby things back. She swore we had NOTHING else there and that we were trying to steal from her. I managed to get some of my things back after paying her rent for all the time our stuff sat there while she was holding it hostage. However, she kept all my cool stuff.

smw89

24. Divided Lines

white wooden cabinet near bedPhoto by Shashi Chaturvedula on Unsplash

She was a nightmare. Her side of the room looked like a catastrophe, while my side was clearly divisible by this line of cleanliness beginning halfway between the beds. I was trying to get some alone time when she decided to watch a movie with four of her friends on her bed. Two of whom were proudly emitting the most noxious gas, and she had the volume on her bass-heavy speakers so loud that a neighbor came round to complain.

She also drank constantly and claimed a guy friend violated her when he hadn’t. She put the house through interviews and law enforcement went through my bedroom to collect evidence, only to break down and admit that it didn't happen. She vanished for four days, then moved out without a word. Good riddance.

Permalink

25. Who Invited These People?

Our one roommate would throw parties in our dorm without telling any of us. The people who would come weren’t even college students. I remember once, I saw a woman who looked like she was 35. She'd brought her baby to one of the parties. These weren't low-key parties either. There was music blaring until 7:00 am on a weekday.

All night long, random people were getting busy on our couch in front of everyone, and the place would be trashed when we got up. He even had the nerve to refuse to clean up, telling us that the mess wasn't his fault, it was his "friends" and why should he have to clean up their mess? When he broke up with his boyfriend, his boyfriend spent the entire night crying and screaming outside this guy's door in our dorm room.

During the night our roommate slammed the door on his ex’s hand, cutting it, and his ex then went around our dorm smearing his blood all over everything.

Ofactorial

26. Cable Watching Cousin

silhouette of 3 people watching show on TVPhoto by Aneta Pawlik on Unsplash

I shared a house with two other guys, and we all shared the bills three ways. One day, one of the guys asked if his cousin who was backpacking around Europe could crash with us for a couple of weeks. My other roommate and I agreed, as we had met his cousin before and he seemed pretty cool. Oh, how wrong we were. After the two weeks were up, the cousin went on his adventures and a week later the dreaded cable bill arrived.

The cousin had sat on the couch and watched racy pay-per-view movies all day, every day. According to the bill, he would watch between 10 to 45 minutes of a movie before getting bored and starting a new one. The code for the PPV was the default 0000 as we all had agreed that we would never use it unless the three of us were there.

The cable bill was an extra $300 as a result of the cousin’s PPV habit. Our roommate refused to chip in extra to cover it. His argument was that we always split the bill three ways and we had all agreed that his cousin could stay. The bill was invoiced to me and I wasn't going to get a bad credit report as a result of movies I didn't watch.

After shouting and fussing, we paid the bill—but it ruined everything.After a few months, we all went our separate ways. Things were never quite the same after.

CastrosExplodinCigar

27. Too Many Bad Habits To Break

My old roommate didn’t present as dirty, but she had a couple of habits that disgusted me. She never cleaned the bathroom, not even so much as taking out the trash. She would clip her nails while in the shower and when I’d clean, they would all be stuck between the tub and the shower curtain. But the worst part of all?

She would have her boyfriend come over on the weekends. They would get it on but she wouldn’t throw out the used condoms until DAYS after he had left. It was gross.

20121619

28. The Epiphany

flamesPhoto by Benjamin DeYoung on Unsplash

I lived with a guy who was a childhood friend for about six months. He suddenly told me in the middle of the night after I got off work that he had a religious epiphany. He was going to (the former) Yugoslavia to see the Virgin Mary and said he'd be gone for about a week. The next morning, he left, but all his stuff was still in the house.

He left an envelope with a gold and ivory rosary and $150 for rent and utilities. Two days later, a dude from Ecuador was on the porch. The guy barely spoke English. After about an hour it all fell into place. My roommate left, joined a religious order or something, and was now sub-letting his room to this kid. Well, this kid ended up being a huge problem...

I came home one night after about three weeks and this kid had set all my stuff on fire.

looki_chuck

29. The Bearded Man

My roommate had very thick facial hair. The dude would actually shave it dry and would leave the shavings all over the bathroom counter. He would do this for weeks at a time. I would mention that it bothered me, and he would always apologize, but do nothing about it. I would constantly have to clean up his mess when it got too extreme.

sonofjim

30. Breakup Breakdown

man in gray crew neck long sleeve shirt standing beside woman in black crew neck shirtPhoto by Afif Ramdhasuma on Unsplash

I made the mistake of signing a lease with two good friends that were dating at the time. I had gotten to know them my first year of college and they were both pretty good people. They ended up breaking up before we even moved in. I had to live through nine months of fighting, doors being broken, and holes being punched in the walls.

The neighbors filed noise complaints often, and law enforcement was called three times. To top it off, they didn’t pay their share of the last electric bill, and I ended up losing my security deposit of $250. But guess what? The joke's on me...They’re married now.

baalpwns

31. Roomie, Can You Spare A Dime?

The guy I lived with would play his music on full blast in the restroom, which was right next to my room. He refused to park in the street when the driveway was full, blocking the rest of us in. Even though he had a bedroom, he lived and slept in the living room and left his TV on all night. He would go around and ask each roommate to help pay his portion of the rent, and tell them to not tell the others. He still owes me $200.

Permalink

32. Hey, Those Are My Clothes!

brown wooden 2-door cabinetPhoto by Rumman Amin on Unsplash

She started pilfering my clothes and went walking around in them to school. She seemed to be convinced they belonged to her until the day she left to move back home. She sent me the most infuriating text: "I found some stuff in my wardrobe that I think you might want. Bye." Sure enough, in her wardrobe, were my clothes, my socks, and even my bath towels.

I took one towel out and a vibrator fell out of it and onto my bare foot.

Gylly

33. Craigslist Cash Cow

My roomie had given out the landline phone number, which was mine, for callbacks regarding stuff he was selling on Craigslist. I was taking a message for him and asked what it was about when the caller described wanting to buy "the bedazzled sidekick." I started looking through my things and figured it out. He had thieved my old phone and some other electronics to sell for rent money.

Connie_Damico

34. Ditched

man in gray button up shirtPhoto by Ludovic Migneault on Unsplash

My roommate and I had a nice apartment but had to move to a worse apartment in a sketchy part of town because he couldn't afford it after he lost his job. I agreed to pay the rent until he got on his feet. A month later, he moved in with his girlfriend, leaving me stuck with the lease in the cruddy apartment I only got because of him.

thewhitedeath

35. Gone Without A Trace

I've had some bad roommates, but I think the worst one was bad due to extenuating circumstances that were not entirely his fault. He would have manic episodes where he would freak out, yell at everything and everyone, including himself. He would pace the apartment at frantic speeds breathing super hard until I would finally get him some water and have him sit down long enough to breathe. One day, he freaked us out big time...He just disappeared.

This guy would disappear for days at a time, so for the first three or four days, my other two roommates and I did not do anything about it. At the time he was a sophomore in college and none of us knew what his class schedule was like, or if he possibly had a girlfriend. He was in a fraternity, and I was friends with one of his fraternity brothers.

After I told my roommates about the manic episodes they had me call his fraternity brother and it turned out that no one in the fraternity had seen or heard from him. After some discussion, we filed a missing persons report. He had been missing for about five or six days at that point. Officers showed up and we went through the normal motions.

About three hours later one of the officers came back and said, "We can't tell you where he is, but we can say he is okay."

Rac3318

36. Three’s Company

man and woman hugging each otherPhoto by Candice Picard on Unsplash

I had a place that was just mine. I knew someone who was new to the city and needed a place to crash while he looked for his own place. Four months later, he was still there. He paid his share and was easy to get along with, but then his girlfriend moved in too. I did not want to share my place with two other people, let alone a romantically involved couple.

I started charging them two-thirds of the rent and utilities. They left in a hurry.

fiahhammer

37. Grieving Nightmare

My boyfriend and I had shared an apartment with this girl. About four months into our lease, my boyfriend passed suddenly from a tragic accident and the roommate decided to sue our landlords. She threatened to mentally hurt my boyfriend's family through hate letters and the like, for letting my boyfriend, who was now deceased, out of our lease, while she was not allowed out of the lease.

After she was denied the ability to get out of the lease, she decided to make my life a nightmare in hopes of getting kicked out of the apartment. She would covet my, and my deceased boyfriend's things, eat my food, and break my and my deceased boyfriend's belongings. It made grieving for my boyfriend a lot more difficult.

BigPotatoMoths

38. Dude, Did You Forget Something?

russian blue cat lying on brown wooden tablePhoto by Milada Vigerova on Unsplash

A guy I lived with would use chewing tobacco all over the house. He'd leave his water bottles full of brown spit all over the place—on the dining room table, the kitchen, the bathroom. The coup de grace was when he moved out and left his cat. It was this black and grey fat cat named Jordy. The first time I met her she was sitting on the stairs and I leaned out to pet her and she clawed me with her paw.

I kept the cat for four years until I got stationed overseas and had to give her to my wife's mom.

Anastik

39. I’m Punching Out

I lived with an old friend who had become an alcoholic. The last straw was when he punched me in the face because it took more than a minute to answer the door in the middle of the night when he came home inebriated. I called law enforcement and he was taken in by the authorities. It seems he had already had a run-in with them in town after making a disturbance.

WulfRanulfson

40. What A Stinker

woman in black crew neck shirtPhoto by OSPAN ALI on Unsplash

I lived with someone who passed gas everywhere. He would sit in the kitchen watching Netflix on his laptop all day without headphones, wouldn't flush the toilet, wouldn't take out the garbage, and would let his food rot in the fridge. He would then put it in the garbage to stink up the apartment, and refused to keep the AC on because he was cold at 72F.

He would be obnoxious on purpose, used our stuff without permission, and slept on the couch all the darn time.

kamanashi

41. Lazy Loungers

I had three roommates that were the laziest people alive. I was the only one that did dishes ever. I saw one eating a bowl of cereal with a fork once because we had no clean spoons. One lived in the basement, and I went down there for the first time in a few months and all the lights were off. The light bulbs had burned out and he was too lazy to change them.

It was more convenient for him to simply sit in the dark. However, the biggest awakening for me was when I went out of town for a weekend. I used the bathroom Friday morning before heading to the airport and saw that we were out of toilet paper. I had to resort to using paper towels. I came back late Sunday night and walked into the bathroom to the same roll of paper towels.

All three of them were off the whole weekend and decided that wiping with Bounty was a better option than driving two minutes to the store to buy more toilet paper.

Shaw-Deez

42. You’re Not My Mom

smiling woman in shallow focus photographyPhoto by Edward Cisneros on Unsplash

The worst roommate I ever had was a 56-year-old lady who let me stay in a room for free. She was somewhat of a family friend. I was a 20-year-old female who kept things clean, wasn’t too loud, and tried to be considerate. This woman told me that my boyfriend at the time had to leave before midnight. I agreed and abided by the rule. She then told me I was not allowed to keep my bedroom door closed anymore, for any reason.

Again, I abided and tried to hang out elsewhere. I came back one night a week later and found she had placed all my stuff on the curb and said I was acting inappropriately and irresponsibly. She lectured me about how my boyfriend was no good and a failure. Needless to say, I grabbed my things and never spoke to her again until she asked for custody of my siblings, should my parents pass away.

JoyousMango

43. A Brush With Weirdness

Well, I had a roommate from another country who would brush his teeth as fast as anyone I have ever seen and would shake his head at the same time while shaking the toothbrush. He would brush with his mouth open so spit got EVERYWHERE. On top of this, he would make noises while doing this that sounded like a mix between gagging and a cat throwing up a hairball.

ThurnisH

44. Do Unto Others...

shallow focus photography of orange Volkswagen BeetlePhoto by Dan Gold on Unsplash

I had a female roommate who used my car for three years. She would put $5 in gas in it SOMETIMES. I didn't mind too much because the campus was close, and I wasn't the best at doing my chores. However, my car was stolen with only a few months left to go until graduation. I asked her ONCE to use her car, the one that she had gotten a few weeks before, and she told me her "insurance wouldn't let her." I'm still mad at her for it.

UNSTABLETON_LIVE

45. The Mysterious Case Of The Rising Utility Costs

My last roommate moved me in with him and his girlfriend. His dog peeled all the pleather off my couch one night in a panic attack. Over the next two months following, my share of the bills mysteriously went up dramatically. When he moved across the state, he nabbed some of my stuff, and I found that the oven was not working.

I stayed there for another three months after he left, and the bills went down by over half. To this day, I have no idea how he hiked the bills up so high.

AHHH_REPTAR

46. Combative Creature

men's white topPhoto by Dmitry Vechorko on Unsplash

My current roommate is the worst. He has yelled or screamed at me multiple times over banal things, and overall has been nasty to all my friends. He once told my friend that he had to clean up after my friend had cooked us a big meal. The polite thing was for us to clean up since he had cooked our meal. He also keeps full bags of trash in his room just hanging out there.

Our bathroom is constantly full of his whiskers from his shavings, and his girlfriend is just as combative as he is! There's TWO of them.

Rastaphobic

47. Rabbit Ritual

When I was in college, my roommate dropped out of school and moved out without informing me a week before bills were due. I had to get a new roommate fast, so I did—but this one was even worse. She slaughtered my rabbit and used his bones to form some sort of makeshift Satanic summoning ritual on her bed. I didn't even confront her.

The next night when I knew she was working late, I got a friend with a truck and got all of my stuff out of there. It was the most stressful time of my college years.

MisterPhamtastic

48. What A Pill

a person's hand is holding a green cup with water coming out of itPhoto by Andres Siimon on Unsplash

There was a guy in the house I was living in that would get high all the time. One night he took something he described as a "yellow pill." He didn't even know what it was. I returned after having been away to find the kitchen floor covered in glass, poop, and toilet paper. He got so wasted that he crapped himself in our kitchen and smashed a bunch of glass into it.

He then tried to clean it up using toilet paper, which he left on the floor and in the kitchen bin. None of us could go into the kitchen to cook or even get food out of the fridge until he finally cleaned it up two days later. But it didn't end there. He also managed to forget about a tap long enough to flood the entire kitchen and leave the water running long enough for it to make a pool in the corridor outside.

It completely soaked the carpet in another housemate's room. The guy whose room it was was away for five days and he had locked his door, so the room stank like a swamp.

Trebor417

49. Strange Bedfellows

I lived in a studio apartment with three other people. One of my roommates would bring guys home from the bar, start getting intimate with them, then, midway through, freak out and start screaming, cussing, and beating them up. The poor guys would usually end up in the hallway still trying to pull their underpants on and frequently didn't get all their clothes.

pdp_8

50. The Blogger

man smiling and using MacBookPhoto by Jud Mackrill on Unsplash

I found out I had the worst roommate ever after he had already moved out. A couple of weeks after he left, a friend of mine alerted me to an online blog my ex-roommate had. In this blog, he had logged every activity of mine, including going to the bathroom, sleeping, watching a movie, leaving the apartment, etc. He also explained in detail different ways he would "off" my cat if given the opportunity.

He even went as far as to lie about certain activities I was doing, like saying I was sleeping with someone when I wasn't, blasted me with horrible names, and described how he wanted to hurt me physically.

BigPotatoMoths

HOA Idiots

HOA Idiots
Photo by Usman Yousaf on Unsplash

Homeowner’s Associations may seem like a good idea to neighborhoods looking to foster a sense of community. But as these stories prove, too often HOAs are absolute nightmares run by total Karens and causing havoc wherever they are. Here are the worst HOA horrors that Reddit has to offer.

1. Tensions Running High

white and brown concrete building near swimming pool during daytimePhoto by Paul Szewczyk on Unsplash

My condo association wanted to renovate the pool and pitched the cost they were moving forward with. There were a lot of developers in the building and they noticed that it was about four times the cost it should have been. Association says tough cookies. Then things get fun.

People writing notices of what's going on with the association, the association writing emails about it, lots of sniping back and forth. Then one day I'm in the lobby waiting for someone to show up, and the head of the association and one of the people calling them out ran into each other.

They had to immediately get separated by security because they were about to start throwing punches.

thugloofio

2. We’re Always Watching

white and black camera on tripodPhoto by Michał Jakubowski on Unsplash

I swear to God, my HOA has a camera pointed directly at my house and hired somebody to watch it 24/7. The plumber came in to change my toilet and put the old one on the sidewalk next to his plumbing van while he was working for about 30 minutes. I got a letter from the HOA a week later that said "Owner will remove toilet from front yard".

How dense do you have to be to not see what was going on there? Oh darn, my toilet garden idea isn't allowed? Freaking muppets.

Although these omnipresent jerks have "neighborhood watch" signs posted all over, nobody was watching when my motorcycle was stolen from my driveway the one time I didn't pull it up onto my patio. So, for my next motorcycle, I was sure to pull it onto my patio (behind a gate and out of sight) every time I rode.

It was only visible from the street for about 15 seconds while I unlocked the gate and came back out to push the bike. Got a letter that said, "Owner will remove motorcycle from patio". SCREW YOU.

fiveSE7EN

3. The Power Behind The Throne

white puppy rolling on green grassPhoto by Daniël Maas on Unsplash

We've only been part of an HOA for the last few months, and it's already living up to every stereotype I ever had in my head.

They held our once-annual meeting with very little notice, and like six people showed up. They elected a new "association" and immediately decided to spend $700 on dog poop receptacles, even though like four people have dogs, and the whole neighborhood is one street. This sparked an incredible amount of drama.

One guy on the HOA decided he was going to get super defensive when people started questioning this decision, and it quickly devolved into him just taunting people on Facebook because he was on the board and they weren't, and if they didn't like his authority, they should change the by-laws. Then someone left a bunch of dog poop in his driveway. Then he resigned from the HOA. No word on the dog poop receptacles.

This has all happened in the past three days.

scottevil110

4. It’s The Little Things

a view of a city from the water at sunsetPhoto by Rihards Sergis on Unsplash

I lived in a high-rise in Chicago that had an HOA full of old people with too much money.

Fortunately, I was only renting, but I was curious to learn about the HOA and they were gracious enough to let me sit in.

The condo had just built a brand-new outdoor patio for grilling, etc. The powers-that-be didn't like the shade of red of the cobblestone brick that they laid for the area, so they allocated $1 million to redo the entire area with new brick.

There were a few attendees who were young professionals who protested, but they were heavily outvoted by the contingent of wealthy old people who felt this was a justifiable use of funds.

Outrageous.

kukukele

5. Who Needs Community?

a faucet running water from a kitchen sinkPhoto by Imani on Unsplash

My mom was the president of the HOA for her backwoods little neighborhood. Maybe 30 people lived there, and everyone used one well. The well had a problem once so no one had water. It was 800 dollars for a temporary fix or 2,000 for a permanent fix... My mom had a meeting where out of the 30 people, five showed up.

No big deal, those five people funded the 800 dollars to get it fixed since they’ve been without water for almost a week. No one would split the cost and dues were so low it didn’t cover them so those five people paid for everyone’s well.

Well in preparation for the actual fix she tried to raise money but only got halfway there when it broke again. My mom went door to door asking for everyone’s share before they’d fix it. It was like 50 dollars. It was another week without water. No one would pay for the well they all used.

Finally around half of the neighborhood raised the money to fix it. Later they all had a huge BBQ at my parents’ house but the people who didn’t pay weren’t invited

RaxDomina

6. Power-Tripping Like No Other

a man in a black hoodie looking at the cameraPhoto by Sander Sammy on Unsplash

We have the HOA president from the Third Reich. This man is on such a power trip you'd think he was running a massive operation with the lives of a million peasants at his disposal. He protects even the most trivial information as if it were top secret intelligence and dispenses his own brand of justice with no regard for the actual rules. And he's a liar.

At the last general HOA meeting, we sat for 40 solid minutes while he regaled us with his vague “true” stories about his years as a special forces officer. According to him, he's been shot (twice), held for ransom in an "undisclosed foreign location," and awarded "top secret" “honors" that he "isn't allowed to talk about". (??) Here's the thing, though.

He's maybe 5' 5", weighs at least 350 lbs, didn't know how to break down the gym weightlifting equipment. He also made a complete idiot of himself by saluting a neighbor who came to the meeting late still wearing his BDUs. The neighbor, who works at the nearby base, laughed out loud and said, "Dude. I'm an E4".

Guess who then got written up for leaving his garbage cans out?

SuzQP

7. Power Loves A Vacuum

top-view photography of houses at daytimePhoto by Tom Rumble on Unsplash

Oh boy do I have a good one. Not me but my best friend. My best friend, Sam, grew up in Suburban Arizona. His family owned their home and rarely had problems with their HOA other than it being generally power-tripping. It all started with some cardboard boxes.

Sam and his sister, at the ripe age of around six or seven, wanted to make a fort in their front yard. Their dad, being the great guy he was, helped them build a cardboard box fort for them to play in. Being kids, they played in the fort for a couple hours and proceeded to get distracted elsewhere.

Not a day later, they received posted notices on the door and phone calls informing them they need to clean the "unsightly" garbage out of their yard or be faced with fines. It wasn't a huge deal, but left the family a bit jaded towards the HOA. Fast forward a handful of years later, Sam's dad decides he wants to paint the house.

Now if you don't know, most HOAs have strict rules on the color and send templates for you to pick off of. He said the templates ranged from tan to slightly different tan. Sam's dad finds a color he likes that's more of a greenish tan and sends it, paints the whole house. The HOA proceeds to have a meltdown.

All because they painted their house outside of the allowed color spectrum. Sam's dad says no freaking way, it's basically the same color and I'm not repainting my entire house. So the HOA hires a contractor to come down with a paint color tester and posts notices on their door with a detailed analysis of how his color is “yucca tan” and doesn't fit the spectrum and if they don't repaint by the end of the month they will be fined.

Instead of folding, Sam's mom finds out when the next meeting is and discovers that no one votes, that the same dude has been president of the HOA for way too long, and that there is some shady stuff going on in terms of contracting.

So she walks around the neighborhood the next few weeks "campaigning" and runs for president. She wins by a landslide. Largest turnout for an HOA meeting since its inception. Apparently, everyone was also sick and tired but just bent over.

So Sam's mom is elected president and discovers that the previous regime was doing the "ole hookup my son-in-law" by contracting his company and paying him stupid amounts of money to water the sand wash stuff. She quickly ends all that.

But rather than change any rules other than a few stupid ones, the mom just decided to refuse to enforce any of them. Sam's mom goes years as president. Recently she decided, screw it, and didn't show up to the election and someone else got elected. Now the new guy is trying to enforce the old rules, but everyone is so used to the freedom, there is a huge conflict going on.

WhiskIsntEnough

8. Idiots Of The Year

brown wooden fence with white flowersPhoto by Daniel Janzen on Unsplash

We got a letter in the mail: "Please remove the items from the front yard on the right side of your house". Which is confusing because there is nothing on the right side of my house. It's my blank side of the fence between me and my neighbors. So lawn, wall, fence. Those are the contents of the right side of my house.

I call and leave a message asking for clarification, no reply. I email, no reply. I get another mailed warning. Call, nothing, email photos of the side of my house, nothing. Then I get a fine.

By this point I do a little investigating—and it all becomes clear. I see the same address, similar street name behind me has stuff on the right side of their house.

I take copies of my emails and print out my phone records, plus copies of their letters, and put it all together in a fax and a certified letter to them along with photos of my house and an explanation that the lazy moron who didn't know the street names clearly made a mistake and that they were lazy morons who couldn't answer the phones or emails.

I told them any additional communications would involve a lawyer for harassment, and that I would be taking this information to an HOA meeting. Never heard from them again. Didn't even get a reply. The sale of that house was free and clear, though, so they clearly fixed it.

I just don't understand the point of being that terrible.

oh-propagandhi

9. A Game Of Chicken

aerial view of green grass field near lake and mountain during daytimePhoto by Matthew Ball on Unsplash

Not an official HOA, but the management at my trailer park were very upset with me. Why? I was simply exploiting a loophole. We are technically only allowed two pets per household, and I had eight chickens. I was able to get away with this for so long (three-four years), that I thought no one would ever notice. But if they did, I had a plan.

Reading the lease rules, I came to the conclusion that my chickens were technically "livestock," and being that there was no rule listed against livestock on the property, I went ahead and got them anyway.

Fast forward to about eight months ago, and my manager discovered my coop. She had a very heated argument with me, but I kept my cool and explained to her that I was not breaking any rules. She left after about a half hour of shouting and general unruliness.

Around a week later, at around 10:00 pm, I hear my chickens panicking (being louder than usual). I assume that an animal is trying to get into the coop, as we have a stray/feral cat problem and it has happened before, so I retrieve my gun and go out the back door and around the back of the house.

And what do I find? None other than my manager, as well as the park's landscaping guy, trying to pry the roof off of my coop and stuff my chickens into waiting animal carriers. I rack my piece, getting their attention, and watch them promptly run out the front gate.

Nightmarish behavior on her part, but I waited a week to see if anything else would happen, and when nothing did, I decided to let it go. She learned her lesson, and so did I: Don't leave your chickens in plain sight!

Afraid-Drawing-9730

10. Slow Your Roll

a close up of an abstract painting with colorsPhoto by Daniel Olah on Unsplash

I rented a house in an HOA. It wasn’t too bad, just normal stuff, but every now and then some board members would tool around and hand out fines for dirty driveways and such. I wouldn’t have cared if the President and a board member didn’t live on the same street as me, and their driveways were in massive disrepair.

The board member’s son did some work on his truck and there was a massive oil spill, partly covered with a red towel, that sat there for eight months...while a few “rust-colored” streaks on our concrete was worthy of a fine.

The funniest was when the HOA decided to install very aggressive speed bumps. The ones that were there previously were fine, graded to not be too jarring but required you to slow down. The only accident that occurred while we were there was when the spouse of an HOA board member was driving after drinking. They plowed into a tree.

Still, there were always notices and mailings for people to slow down as “this is not a racetrack”. I guess they felt adding in a couple of literal asphalt “curbs” in the middle of the street would “show people” who dared to drive over 10 mph on the main road.

The only way over these things without feeling like you were going to break something on your car was to ease up the first side. Come to a complete stop. Then slowly ease down the drop. Once for the front wheels, another for the rear. Some people had just taken to driving on the grass around them, so they put up concrete barriers there.

After a few weeks, one of our neighbors, Jimmy, decided to pour diesel fuel on the speed bumps the day before the garbage trucks did their rounds. The speed bumps got completely destroyed. But it wasn’t over yet. The HOA reinstalled the bumps, and somehow made them even more aggressive...and a week later, Jimmy struck again.

They yanked them out again, and just paved over the holes. It was beautiful.

They did end up installing speed bumps a few months later, but they went with the stock plastic ones that bolt to the street. Which was much more preferable to the man-made Cliffs of Dover that were there previously.

Debaser626

11. Gaming The System

white and brown concrete buildingPhoto by Tessa Wilson on Unsplash

I live in an upscale beach neighborhood. The HOA repeatedly refused my solar panel application, citing that their location was an eye sore, even though it was at the back of the house and wasn’t visible from the street.

They fought me at four different meetings and delayed my installation. But they didn’t know who they were dealing with. I ultimately cited the state law that they couldn’t do it. They immediately backed down and amended their covenants. By the way, a clothesline is a "solar collection device" and they cannot deny you use of that either, so if you want to play dirty—hang a bunch of beach towels in your yard!

gimp2x

12. That’s Not How Physics Works

green trees on green grass fieldPhoto by Dan Tuykavin on Unsplash

I lived in a neighborhood with a park in the center, located directly behind my back fence. The entire neighborhood was managed by the same HOA company, but the neighborhood was officially set up as two different HOA communities. Even though it was on the other side of my fence, the park was designated as part of the community I was not in.

On multiple occasions, the irrigation system in the park broke and completely flooded my backyard. Three or four times over a span of a few months, I woke up to literally a foot and a half of water. Over time, my brick fire pit literally sank into the ground an entire layer of brick.

Water came into my kitchen on two occasions, and every time my home's foundation looked weaker and weaker after clean-up. I called to complain to the HOA each time. The flooding almost always happened on a weekend, and it wouldn't be until Monday that they came out, leaving my home flooded for a minimum of two days each time.

After the third or fourth complaint, I finally reported them to the BBB and the Water Authority, and I sent a video to the local news. The next business day, the head of the HOA company called me, furious. Despite all the pictures and videos I'd sent, she said she was convinced I was making it all up. When I pressed her why she thought that, she specifically said it was because "The park can't be flooding your house. It's not even part of the same HOA community you live in’!

OPs_Mom_and_Dad

13. Here For A Bad Time, Not A Long Time

aerial photography of trees on hillPhoto by Abby Thompson on Unsplash

A friend of mine lives year around in a luxury condo with a view of a popular ski slope. His buddy a few doors down is the HOA president. Just the two of them for the majority of the year. Nice and calm. Then when ski season starts, hold on to your hat. The east coast millionaires don't shut the heck up with their complaints when they live there for three weeks.

boatloadoffunk

14. Coming Out Of The Woodwork

a porch with two chairs and a table on itPhoto by Francesca Tosolini on Unsplash

My parents modified the front porch so it was now different from the other houses on the block. Once it was done, a middle-aged lady comes out of nowhere--I had never seen her before, nor had she ever talked to us before—to kindly warn us that we had just lost the right to vote on HOA or something like that since we did an "unauthorized modification".

We replied with the equivalent of "K, thanks". And, once again, we haven't seen her ever since. It's like she crawled out of her lair to inform us that we lost a right we didn't even use, as if it were a huuuge major offense. Screw that.

elSenorMaquina

15. Highway Robbery

well-lit house at nightPhoto by Juliana Malta on Unsplash

The HOA sued me for thousands of dollars in late fees. But that wasn’t the worst part. It came through on the day after Christmas. I was told my dues date was the 15th when I bought the house. I paid on the 13th for a year or more. Except it was actually the 1st of the month. Turns out the idiot admin at the management company input my previous address, an apartment, when setting up my account, so I never saw a late notice.

When I explained the situation, they said "No exceptions". I couldn't afford a lawyer to fight it.

-OldAndInTheWay-

16. There Goes The Neighborhood

white and black satellite dish lotPhoto by Pawel Czerwinski on Unsplash

I was moving to a different city and crashed at my dad's townhouse for a few months to save money for the move. One day, a guy showed up to install a satellite dish that my dad ordered.

My dad isn't the type of guy to pay very close attention to HOA rules, and apparently missed a brand new (and HIGHLY contentious) rule that satellite dishes were "eyesores" and no longer allowed.

So just as the installer guy is getting up to the roof, this couple (head of the HOA) comes SPRINTING from their townhouse across the street to shut it down, screaming all the way. I had absolutely no issue with not getting a satellite dish, it wasn't even my house, but these two HOA thugs were absolutely awful.

The wife was just hurling insults at the installer guy and I, and the husband immediately started climbing the ladder up onto the roof to "kick the heck” out of the installer guy. None of this was provoked at all, it just went from 0-100mph in no time flat and this couple was out of control.

Well, the installer guy eventually had enough of having insults hurled at him and came down the ladder and started a full-on brawl with the husband in my dad's driveway.

The wife was screaming at the top of her lungs at me, a couch-surfer whose only contribution to this whole fiasco was to answer a door and let a guy on the roof. I still vividly remember being absolutely dumbfounded watching these two grown men beat the heck out of each other while I tried to communicate to my dad on the phone over the shrill sounds of some strange woman absolutely berating me for "ruining the neighborhood".

Nicodroz

17. Can’t See The Forest For The Trees

black mercedes benz g 63Photo by Jake Fagan on Unsplash

I was told to have 10-year-old trees removed. Which is bad enough—but their reasoning was outrageous. It was because in the winter they turn brownish and lose their leaves. We also got a notice asking how long we'd have a Toyota Tundra truck in our driveway over Christmas. It was my cousin, and he stayed with us two nights.

shipplsay

18. Not On My Lawn

shallow focus photo of toddler walking near riverPhoto by Daiga Ellaby on Unsplash

At my school they closed off a fence letting kids go out one way, to walk home. Because of this my walk home was extended like five minutes, but it was still annoying. However, one old dude named Frank let me walk through his yard to dramatically speed up the time of my walk home…until the HOA said I couldn’t do it anymore. I’m still a bit bitter.

MIKETROUT

19. Get Your Hands Dirty

two men playing chessPhoto by Vlad Sargu on Unsplash

My dad lives in one of those weird Over-50 communities, and he was a member of their equivalent to an HOA. One day, he was asked what mulch to get for his house and the rest of the properties. He thought it was a nothing decision, so he picked one.

His email was flooded with complaints about how the mulch was Too Dark. Flooded, legit angry hate mail. They actually did go buy new mulch, it was crazy.

The_Pip

20. Money For Nothing

person grilling meat outdoorsPhoto by Aral Tasher on Unsplash

The HOA charged me $500 for leaving a glass cup on the BBQ. Darn, I was so angry. My blood boils just thinking about it. I pay $617 monthly to these people. Screw them.

PsychNurse6685

21. Time’s A Ticking

yellow coupe on parking lot at daytimePhoto by Raban Haaijk on Unsplash

My at-the-time girlfriend (now wife) rented a townhouse with friends in a community that had an HOA. There was parking reserved for guests of the tenants. Ironically, parking was always an issue for my wife and her roommates but always simple for me. I just popped on the visitor's pass and was good to go in that lot.

I spent the night probably once or twice a week, and one day I awoke to find my car missing. After some ace detective work, I found out that my 10-year-old (at the time) 5-speed manual transition Honda had not been stolen, but just towed When I reached out to the HOA, their response left me dumbfounded.

They told me that there was a provision in the by-laws that said a car could only be parked in a visitor's spot for a maximum of 72 hours and that a board member submitted my car to a list of cars to be towed due to “misusing” a visitor's pass.

They argued the language in the by-laws was such that the total amount of time that a car may be parked in the visitor's lot was 72 hours, non-consecutively. So if you park there once a week for 10 hours each week, on the 8th week we are “misusing” the policy.

This in opposition to the clear purpose of the provision, which is to prevent people from storing their cars in the lot. They summarily denied my request at the next HOA meeting to recover the $150 towing fee. Long story short, I sued them in small claims court and got back the towing fee plus court costs. Plus, they engaged a lawyer, so I feel good about wasting some of their retainer as well.

rbf2000

22. Don’t Let The Door Hit You On The Way Out

closed brown full-lite doorPhoto by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash

My mom's been going through a lot of stupid HOA stuff recently. Two and a half years ago she needed a new storm door and contacted the HOA to get the proper paperwork for the request. Seven attempts and three weeks later, after getting zero reply from the HOA, she decided to just go through with it by contacting the contractor the HOA uses and having them install one of their standard doors.

She needed the door changed because the one in place was broken, and didn't want to risk having to endure them installing in late fall/winter. This past November, the HOA contacted her saying her door wasn’t up to their standards and that she was required to change it before January. She contacted a lawyer over it, and—long story short—she has to change the door.

I told her that the HOA can go screw themselves because she tried to do it their way and they never responded. On top of that, who didn't notice the door in TWO YEARS’ TIME? It's obvious it's not the same as the doors on the other condos, from as far back as you can see her unit.

The real story here is that the guy in charge of the HOA is a power-tripping jerk who enforces the by-laws whenever he feels like it. Complete "big fish in a little pond" scenario, but he's really a small fish in the smallest pond. Pushing around a 65-year-old retiree over a $300 door (which for some reason they told her was nearly $4,000?) is bush league.

Arch27

23. We All Go Down Together

man standing infront of miter sawPhoto by Annie Gray on Unsplash

My husband and I were looking for condos forever but no place had a garage space (we live near downtown), which is our #1 item on our list of needs. One pops up that is everything we could have asked for, it was just a little over what we wanted to spend but it was PERFECT.

We ask the realtor to look into why it was suspiciously affordable, considering the neighborhood, size, condition, etc. The answer shocked us.

Turns out, the building was doing some exterior renovations and it was going to be costing each unit, out of pocket, $60,000. Holy. Balls. In the month after we had viewed that condo, seven more units from that building went up for sale because everyone was trying to jump ship.

kiasrai

24. Up A Tree

pink flowersPhoto by AJ on Unsplash

There was an all-out war between two of my neighbors. You see, we had regulations as to what kind of trees you could have. Someone had planted these beautiful cherry blossom trees and lovingly cultivated them from saplings, but got told repeatedly that they were against HOA policy.

The homeowner told the president to go screw himself—this is not an exaggeration; according to what I heard, the guy literally said "go screw yourself,” and left. But the HOA president got a vicious revenge. He snuck over to the guy's house and cut down the trees at night. And that was just the start.

The homeowner, rather than filing a suit, decided to do the same thing. He went to the HOA president's house and cut down his trees. Again, rather than calling the authorities, the HOA president decided to start hacking up the guy’s bushes in the middle of the day.

We moved before this somehow concluded itself, but man, upper-middle-class, middle-aged white people are weird.

rjjm88

25. Park And Fly Off The Handle

green football field under blue sky during daytimePhoto by Steve DiMatteo on Unsplash

I live near a college stadium and on game days, we charge $20 per car to park on our land. We can fit 70 cars. This is generally a family affair with all of us acting in some capacity i.e. money taker, flagger, etc. There is also a local elementary school in the neighborhood that charges the same to park cars as well.

The former community association president went rogue and saw fit to kick my 92-year-old grandfather’s "Parking" sign and threaten him. When the other family members saw the commotion and rushed to grandfather’s aid, the man jumped in his wife's waiting SUV and tore off.

He then posted a rant on FB on the community page about how we're stealing from school children, endangering the community with our uninsured (it’s insured) endeavor, and creating traffic jams.

one_eyed_pirate_dog

26. Ganging Up

man hugging woman while taking photo of each otherPhoto by JD Mason on Unsplash

I sat in on an HOA meeting once because I was the sort of weird teenager who had nothing better to do, and I listened in on a meeting that (in part) planned on “encouraging” an interracial couple to move out.

For the curious: they didn't burn any crosses or anything, though one guy suggested it and didn't get immediately shouted down. Mostly it manifested as passive aggression because they were too chicken to do anything else. The interracial couple continues to live happily in the neighborhood.

CassiopeiaStillLife

27. Better Late Than Never?

person writing on brown wooden table near white ceramic mugPhoto by Unseen Studio on Unsplash

Like two days before I bought a condo, I was told that I would be blocked from moving in unless I paid the first month's HOA dues. So the morning of the closing, I went to the management company's office and dropped off a check. I moved in without issue and then continued to pay my dues on time each month. Like four years later, I got an invoice for $800+. The truth of the story was mind-boggling.

Apparently, they never cashed that first check. So when I paid the next month, they credited it toward my first month and assessed a late fee. This continued for four years where every month's check was credited to the previous month. I got in a huge argument with the accounting office and they wouldn't budge on the $800+ in "late fees". I was irate.

elevenghosts

28. One For You, One For Me

person stepping on body of waterPhoto by June Admiraal on Unsplash

I live in an end-unit townhouse. The common area grass next to it was all withered and the area would be a muddy mess every time it rained.

The HOA accidentally sent me an internal email after their inspection saying that it was really a mess and they needed to do something.

I asked when they would (do something) and got they have nothing in the budget. I went to meetings to get something completed and nothing happened. They would never get budget approval.

A couple years later, the head of the HOA had an open house to sell his place. So I went in and purposely used and then clogged his hall bathroom.

woodappleraleigh

29. Way To Make Me Feel Welcome

black truck on road during daytimePhoto by Jonathan Cooper on Unsplash

The HOA had my car towed and impounded after I didn't move it for three days because I was out of town, but they ignored a body (drive-by-shooting) on the front lawn area for a full 12 hours. The corpse was on the lawn for 12 hours BEFORE they investigated and called the authorities.

Weird because they literally called the authorities on me once for using the swimming pool with my then-boyfriend, thinking we hopped the fence even though I had a pool key and my driver’s license had my address on it. It got more outrageous. They also called the authorities on him because he was driving slowly through the community because all the houses look exactly the same and there are no visible address numbers and he couldn't remember where I lived.

And again when an old woman reversed into his car and was too scared to get out of her car. He wasn't even mad, just concerned that she was hurt. He's not white, if you haven't guessed.

Msspookytown

30. Ulterior Motives Galore

man in purple suit jacket using laptop computerPhoto by Towfiqu barbhuiya on Unsplash

Our house almost went into foreclosure. When we bought it they decided they suddenly wanted more than we had agreed on/could pay but told us we couldn't back out or they'd sue us for even more, and every lawyer we called said going after the company we were buying from would be "career suicide”.

Anyways, after 12 years of this, the bank was at our door. So we were in court, going through a bunch of stuff with a bad judge and bad bank, when our HOA suddenly started mailing our monthly letters to our bank. They went as far as to tell the bank our house was "disheveled" because we have a basketball hoop.

However, the house had long been put back in our name at this point, not the bank’s. Then they suddenly send a letter saying the HOA hired a SECOND lawyer just to keep tabs on our "situation", and that we were required to send them copies of all of our paperwork and PAY for the second lawyer fees.

Long story short, we found out the HOA president (our next-door neighbor) was trying to get us kicked out so he could buy our house cheap for his stepson, whose daughter lives with them because he lost all custody and the mother is gone. Screw you, Walt.

Permalink

31. An Old Insult

person in white long sleeve shirt and black pantsPhoto by Nina Hill on Unsplash

The city I grew up in was briefly on national news because the HOA was trying to force an elderly couple to give their only grandchild up for adoption after her parents perished in a traffic accident. The little girl had no other living family and had watched her parents get in the crash, but the HOA wanted her gone because it was a "retirement community" and told the couple to give her up or be homeless.

MY-RICK-FELL-OFF

32. Snitches Get...Discounts?

a woman holds her hands over her facePhoto by Anthony Tran on Unsplash

My mom's HOA had a $249-a-month fee, but would give discounts to people who volunteered to walk around and mark violations of the restrictive covenants and other policies. Not only was the HOA trying to get away with outsourcing one of the few tasks they are paid to do, it went as badly as you would expect due to the perverse incentive to report your neighbors for minor stuff.

It took almost half a year to undo because it is impossible to get a hold of anyone who actually has the authority to make decisions. Her HOA was part of a larger management company hundreds of miles away. All of the front-facing community managers are low-level workers, so screaming at them was just rude and accomplished nothing. The Board were all other residents, so they were paper tigers at most. And her state doesn't regulate HOAs, only condo associations.

96sr1b38u9o

33. Not All Heroes Wear Capes

person writing bucket list on bookPhoto by Glenn Carstens-Peters on Unsplash

This was after I bought my first place. I only learned the truth a couple weeks in. Apparently, our HOA was suspended by the state for failing to file taxes for years. The seller had knowledge of this and never said a word.

Right before the sale, the HOA switched management companies, which caused their existing bank account to be closed so funds could be transferred to a new account with the new management. However, given the lack of state recognition, the new management couldn't open the new account. It was like trying to open a personal bank account without any form of ID.

So all of our funds were stuck in the form of a check, with nowhere to deposit. This led to a disaster. It meant there was no place for HOA members to send their monthly dues. It also meant there was no account to pay bills from.

The board spent months flailing around and holding meetings with no actionable outcomes. The old management company, whose negligence got us here in the first place, refused to respond to any form of contact with us. The new management company agreed to do all the paperwork to resolve the problem, but, after I investigated, I found they hadn't lifted a finger.

And then the late notices for bills started to roll in. Culminating in a notice posted on our building, giving us a matter of days before the water would be shut off and the building condemned.

I had had enough of this. So I did a ton of research—and came up with a plan. This occupied nearly all of my free time at home and on lunch breaks at work. I hired a lawyer to create a trust for us, so I could accept checks and pay bills with the trust. With cash flowing again, we were able to pay off the utility bills and late fees.

I convinced the board to fire the new management. They weren't doing a thing for us while still sending a monthly bill they knew we had no way to pay. After an antagonistic call from the CEO of the management company, I drafted the termination letter and the board sent it.

I then dug into the state corporate and tax law. I learned how to do a corporate revival (HOAs are technically corporations here). I needed the missing tax records for the state tax board and then to file for reinstatement with the state. The tax board process, by policy, takes three months to send a response with their decision. And the state can take up to three months after that.

We had our lawyer send a letter to our unresponsive old management, requesting all financial documents. They promptly responded with some of the worst-kept records I could have imagined and which looked like they originated from a Word document. But it had just enough information for me to complete the missing years of tax documents.

So we sent off the tax documents and began the long wait for the tax board decision to put us in good standing again. In the meantime, I rounded up recommendations for new management companies. The board narrowed it down to three and we interviewed them at our annual meeting.

After three months and no word from the tax board, I began calling them on a daily basis. Most times, nobody had an answer for us as to the status of our request. Soon, I had the blood-boiling answer. No one there had even looked at our paperwork yet.

Luckily my last call was to the one and only sympathetic soul there, who listened to my story and promised to expedite our paperwork. A week later, we were back in good standing with the tax board. Then I filed the paperwork for the corporate revival. After about a month and a couple phone calls, our HOA was officially recognized by the state again.

We hired our new-new management, they promptly opened an account and transferred the funds from the trust, and things have finally been getting back to some semblance of normalcy. And I was immediately elected HOA treasurer.

matmann2001

34. A Bad Relationship

brown wooden log on green grass field during daytimePhoto by Fabrício Severo on Unsplash

My family has been part of an HOA for maybe five or six years now, and they SUCK. We had to cut down a tree when we first moved in because its roots were cutting into the sewage pipes and backing up all our drains. To do that, we had to get approved to cut it down and that took a few weeks. So we couldn't take a shower or flush a toilet for like two weeks.

They also keep telling us to power wash our driveway, so we did once. We haven't done it again, but they think we did??? They also keep raising the fees and giving no reason for it. I would expect that if they were adding things into the neighborhood or fixing something, but they just took out a few fountains from the lakes and they don't keep outside lights on anymore so they should be saving money.

Also you can only paint your house certain colors and I don't think you can use sidewalk chalk in the neighborhood either.

pigeonshark

35. Learn Some Manners

brown wooden photo frame on white folding chairsPhoto by James Schultz on Unsplash

My dad was telling me a story about their HOA this week. A homeowner in their neighborhood passed and hadn't yet paid their HOA dues for the month. Their actions were appalling. AT THE MEMORIAL SERVICE, the HOA president approached the mourning family and asked what their plans were for paying the back dues, and for paying any dues until the house was sold. Simply amazing.

jeffbarge

36. Not Mending Fences

adult yellow Labrador retrieverPhoto by Noémi Macavei-Katócz on Unsplash

This happened to a co-worker of mine. They got a lab puppy, and the puppy grew into a pretty big dog. They wanted to be able to let him outside and not have to worry, so they put up a dog run. The HOA threw a fit. You couldn't see the thing from the street at all but somehow it was a problem.

So they took it down and hired a fencing company to put up a six-foot privacy fence. Problem solved, right? Dog can run around in the yard with little supervision and no one has to see it. They paid a couple of grand to have a professional fencing company put the fence up. It looked nice and was well done.

The HOA came along a week later while they were at work and tore the fence down. Then they presented them with a bill for the work to tear the fence down.

agreeingstorm9

37. Ruining It For Everyone Else

man playing golfPhoto by Lo Sarno on Unsplash

My dad lived on a golf course in St Augustine, Florida that had a very relaxed, hands-off HOA. Unless someone filed a complaint. Then they had to act.

Some retired jerk walked the neighborhood daily and reported anything he didn't like, and the HOA had to sort through his complaints to address those that were actually against a rule. Most of his whining was just something he didn't like and thought ought to be different.

My dad had a small boat on a small trailer—like a bass boat with just enough trailer under it that it wasn't sitting on the ground—in his backyard. It belonged to a friend and we had use of it in exchange for storing it. You had to go into the yard and look over the fence to see it. But somehow, this jerk saw it and he reported it.

Then we had to comply because it WAS a rule and he WAS breaking it. But I always wanted to get revenge on that miserable old man. I wish he'd snapped a leg trying to climb the fence...But like most things when it comes to an HOA, it was an individual mistreating the system. There's always at least one...

Darth_Corleone

38. The Good Neighbor

smiling womanPhoto by Ravi Patel on Unsplash

Not exactly an HOA story, but a neighborhood one. There is a lady on our street who likes to look out for the other neighbors, knows everyone's name, introduces the new neighbors to the old ones. If she sees a bucket or something on my lawn, she will tidy up. I have seen her removing weeds from someone's driveway.

She wants to deter misdeeds by keeping things looking nice. So someone came to her door, the "I need money for a tow" scam. The guy came to her door and said "My car broke down, I need money for a tow, I live just down the street." What she did was say, "Which house number?" He rattled off a couple of house numbers, she said, "Nope, that's the Smiths"..."Nope that's the Jones's," etc etc.

Finally, he gave up and went away. She knew everyone on the street, and she was not going to be scammed by this guy.

kamomil

39. You Can’t Stay Here

black and yellow line on gray concrete pavementPhoto by Pascal Meier on Unsplash

Oh, I've got a good one: Our HOA decided to resurface the roads, one half at a time. All of the roads in our subdivision are fire lanes, so you typically can't park on them. People asked in the Facebook group if they could make an exception for this once and let them park in the fire lanes on the other side of the subdivision because otherwise you'd be trapped in your driveway until the asphalt dried.

They refused.

They insisted we could just park outside of our gated community. This wasn't making a lot of people happy because the neighborhood outside of our gated community is uh...pretty rough. Finally, they resurfaced the roads and people went ahead and parked outside the gate. The results were stunning. The next morning they woke up to: almost every car broken into, half of the cars spray painted, and general vandalization of cars including keying, dents, etc.

One couple brought the HOA to court over this and won. The cherry on top is that one of the HOA members had a pest control truck parked in the fire lane outside of their house for hours not one week after this incident. When she was called out on it in the FB group she lashed out at people for "stalking her" and telling everyone where she lived.

hiphoptomato

40. Incompetent Or Evil?

shallow focus photography of gray mailboxPhoto by Mikaela Wiedenhoff on Unsplash

My HOA and their management company had a scam where they would not cash any dues check you sent them, no matter when you sent it, until after it was due—so they could add late fees. I would send the checks via Certified Mail, with delivery confirmation and return receipts, received with days to spare, and they still wouldn't cash them.

Payment via their website never worked. I would call and try to pay by credit card over the phone, and they would just hang up. I handed the check to them in person...They still waited and charged a late fee. Then they refused to sign the closing paperwork when I sold my house. The delay almost cost me the sale.

I'm honestly not sure if they were scumbags or just criminally lazy. Both are infuriating.

TheRealCBlazer

41. One For The Little Guys

a satellite dish sitting on top of a buildingPhoto by Kevin Kandlbinder on Unsplash

I helped a customer stand up to their HOA and win. I worked as a team supervisor for DirecTV at this time. Most of my duties were administrative, but if anyone on my team had an escalated call (supervisor requested) then those were my job too.

One of my agents got a call and from what he told me, the customer immediately requested a supervisor. He said that he needed someone with more authority than a front-line service rep, even though my agent could have handled this.

So I take the call and the guy is frantic and asking me for help. He'd been going rounds with his HOA over the placement of his satellite dish. As it turned out, due to various obstructions, the only way his dish could be installed and maintain a quality signal was to be pole-mounted. So it's on a pole in his side yard instead of on the roof/side of the house. Well, the HOA had deemed that a no-no and fined him. They then threatened further proceedings against him when he refused to pay. Something about going against the HOA covenant agreement or some such nonsense like that.

They had shown up this very day to further the issue and he decided to call us and see if there was anything we could do. Oh yes, there was. I knew exactly what to do. I asked if I could speak to the HOA rep that was in his home and he was more than pleased to let me handle it. After introducing myself and whatnot, I inform the HOA rep that it is against federal law to deny the homeowner the placement of their dish if that is the only place it could be installed to get a high-quality signal.

The HOA rep instantly starts trying to tell me what's what when I just rattled off "Over the Air Reception Devices Rule" of the Telecommunications Act 1996.

"What?"

"The OTARD Rule. It's a part of the act I just named that explicitly forbids the restriction of placement of a signal reception device if that is the only feasible installation option. In short, you can't make him remove it and if you force it he has options".

I couldn't literally say he can take you to court since I'm not one of the corporate lawyers, but the point was made clear enough. He just handed the phone back to my customer and left the house. The customer was so freaking excited. "You have no idea how much of a hassle this has been, fighting with them over this for months! Thank you so much!"

A victory for the little guy. Screw HOA and their power-tripping little sycophants.

Pravus_Belua

42. Getting The Heck Out Of Dodge

low angle photo of buildingsPhoto by Agustin Lara on Unsplash

Oh, why, yes, I lived through a nightmare HOA and I will NEVER live with another HOA again. First, I bought a pricey condo in a posh area suburb for the good schools. This community of condos had many folks on fixed incomes, and it should be said that the community (at that time) was 100% white and about 65% of the residents were 60 years old or older.

There were about 60 units, total. I was 37, married with two children. The condo had three massive bedrooms, massive bathrooms, massive kitchen, vaulted ceilings, etc. I bought during a buyer’s market and I loved the condo (inside). Our condo had the upgraded Florida room (screened patio).

I asked for copies of the HOA while we were looking at the condo. I asked five more times and had to demand it be shown to me at closing. I knew this was a red flag—but I had no idea what I was getting into. The condo by-laws were 300 pages of legalese ranging from what kind of car you may park in your driveway, to how many guests you may have in your condo, to the types of blinds you have to use in your vault windows.

The first fine: We had a 25-foot vault in the great room and this weird window. It was high up and I love natural light, so I didn't want to put a shade in it. Nope. Fined. A custom shade had to be purchased and installed. It was $450 (the shade) and the fine was $50.

The second fine: The HOA did some landscaping, limited to trees, and shrubs, and mowing grass areas. We needed to mulch, plant flowers, and weed our beds. I left the hose on my enclosed porch. Fined.

The third fine: Dog poop. We have two dogs. Our dogs didn't walk at the condo as they went to daycare in the daytime and the dog park in the evenings. We had a small patch of grass, about 3X4 feet, and it was always clean because it was our grass and we are militant about picking up waste. We were fined for something unbelievable.

We were fined for someone else letting their dog poop in our yard and not picking it up. I refused to pay this fine and asked the condo to DNA test the waste. At this point, I'm ready to move. The HOA president was this old witch who retired from the post office 600 years ago and spent her life walking the properties and walking up on people's porches with measuring tapes telling them that their fence is out of square or their door is fading and needs painting, etc.

She was the nastiest human being alive. The HOA fees were 300 dollars per month and every bit of that money was used to sue people, fine people, and administrate the complaint system through a third-party manager. The condo had zero amenities, save a clubhouse that they used for a Euchre game. You had to beg that woman to use the clubhouse and she ALWAYS said no.

The last interaction: One Friday afternoon I'm standing on my porch looking at my shrubs (which have been cut to nubs) and I'm talking to my neighbor about how horrible it looks and why on earth did the HOA cut all our shrubs?

This is when the old bitty comes lumbering around the corner. At this exact moment, my sister-in-law (who was about 19) drives up and parks in a guest spot. She was driving a seven-year-old Lancer. The bitty walks right up to my sister and says "Who are you? You can't park here!" My sister says "Who are you? I can park here, this is guest parking".

I am now walking toward them. The bitty sticks her finger in my sister's face and tells her that her car is old and dirty. I then step between the two women and say "WHOA—are you out of your mind?" It was the last straw.

I put my house up for sale the next weekend. I received a ton of negative feedback on the shrubs and sent the association invoices to pay ME my condo fees back so that I could have my yard properly landscaped. They also kept charging us condo fees but stopped snow removal and banned recycling.

taotech

43. Our Way Or The Highway

brown and white concrete buildingPhoto by Derrick Brooks on Unsplash

I lived in a townhome community with those "smurf hut" two-storey quad buildings. Our HOA fees included homeowners’ insurance that covered the building itself. After the hurricanes of 2004, there was a fairly decent amount of damage throughout the community. Mostly fences, some flat roofs, and some of the facia "shaker shingles" were beat up.

Everybody started filing their claims through the HOA, and they were all denied with a letter telling the owners that the HOA decided for us to use the insurance money to replace all the shaker shingles, and it was up to us to use a specific company and they would take care of it.

It actually worked out for me. My fence and flat roof was fine, the only damage I suffered was to the shaker shingles and they were pretty jacked before the hurricane. But we had a lot of owners who had recently done their shakers and were fine but needed a new fence or their flat roof was leaking.

We demanded to have a meeting with the HOA so people could Express their issues. The members simply didn't want to hear it. The HOA was the first line you had to cross to file a claim, so they could deny you from the start.

They also went around and cited every single homeowner for having missing shaker shingles. This basically forced the owners to use the insurance how the HOA demanded. The property was up for sale and basically the current property owner was using the HOW to force the individual owners to use their insurance to pretty up the property.

They told us we could hire a lawyer and sue, but nobody was willing to do it. I tried to convince the owners to band together and hire a lawyer but too many people either caved or were like me and actually needed new shakers. Unfortunately, the market crash kept us there a few more years before the market bottomed out.

We then bought a new home far away from any HOA and rented the townhouse until the market returned. So in the end it worked out for me, but I felt bad for the other owners who were forced to do what the HAO wanted.

sebrebc

44. Money? What Money?

rain dropping from roofPhoto by Anna Atkins on Unsplash

My roof started leaking in multiple locations throughout the house. I called the HOA because they are responsible for outside building maintenance.

HOA: Sorry can't fix it right now.

Me: Fine, I'll hire someone to fix it and bill you.

HOA: We will sue the heck out of you if you even think about touching that roof.

Me: What the heck am I even giving money for then?

Months later at HOA yearly meeting, they got a huge reckoning.

HOA: Yeah...so we've been audited and if we don't come up with a certain amount of money by next year we are probably going to be unable to do any sort of maintenance in the future

Me and other owners: You don't do any sort of maintenance to begin with.

HOA: Anyway, you can either all give us $40,000 right now or for the next two years we're going to charge you $1,600-ish more a month.

HOA: Also, don't pay attention to the 20% of the expenses in the report that the auditors put in the unknown category, we don't have any receipts for any of those expenses so we don't know where that money went. We blame the maintenance company so we're just going to fire them and start fresh with a new, cheaper one.

All Owners who aren't on the HOA Board: When are you jerks going to fix the roofs on our houses?

HOA: Someday, maybe, I mean we don't have a problem with our roofs so we don't really see what you're all whining about. Right now we really need to fix our reserve budget crisis that we totally didn't cause by misappropriating funds to make improvements to our houses.

Daakuryu

45. It Just Takes One

orange and blue concrete painted housePhoto by Terrah Holly on Unsplash

My husband and I moved into a condo in a building that was an old townhouse where each floor was turned into a different unit, four units total. The building had low HOA fees that our naive selves thought was a good thing. Unfortunately, it meant any building maintenance required a special assessment, and this was a brick building over a 100 years old.

I acted as HOA president until I couldn’t take the groups uselessness. We got multiple bids, agreed as a building on which to go with, did the work, and passed the special assessment. The whole annoying but correct procedure. Then Ted, the neighborhood idiot, decided not to pay his part, something like $3,000.

The HOA finally got an attorney to put a lien on his unit but he kept questioning the attorney about things and racking up fees. Somehow a miracle occurs and he pays the lien and we sell from that dysfunctional building. Yay, everything was great. Except the worst was about to start.

The night before closing we hear that Ted is filing a lawsuit against the HOA. Fortunately, we were still able to close because it was all cash sale and the suit didn’t involve our property specifically. Then Ted decided to get extra spiteful and sued my husband personally. This dragged on for about eight months before the judge finally dismissed him from the suit and the HOA won with all costs awarded.

But that was the worst eight months of my adult life so far. Absolute jerk.

Brideshead

46. Pulling The Wool Over Their Eyes

a group of rvs are parked in a fieldPhoto by Maryna Nikolaieva on Unsplash

The HOA attempted to hold a "secret" community meeting where they'd vote on turning the large field and walking path everyone used for recreation into an RV park. It was "secret" because they basically told no one and put up the required notice in a place where no one would see. As you can probably guess, most of the board owned RVs.

Thankfully a few neighbors took notice and started knocking on doors. A crowd showed up and the proposal was starkly shot down. Dirtbags.

CloudsOntheBrain

47. If You Want Something Done, Do It Yourself

two brown and white dogs running dirt road during daytimePhoto by Alvan Nee on Unsplash

We live in a condo and began receiving $100 fines for not picking up dog poop. We do pick up our dog poop. The area behind our building is a common area and lots of people walk their dogs around. I offered to submit DNA testing for my dogs and they ignored me and continued to send notices of fines.

I began taking my phone with me on every walk and took photos and videos of me picking up poop with timestamp evidence. I sent a folder full of photos to the HOA with photographic evidence that I was picking up after my dogs. We continued to receive fines. So I took drastic measures.

I got a small trash can and kept on my patio and began saving my bags of dog poop for two weeks. I did tie the bags but they were still obviously smelly as poop bags are very thin plastic. I then mailed a box of poop to the HOA office along with copies of timestamped photos showing I had picked it up.

I told them that I had better not ever receive another fine for dog poop because I had provided more than sufficient evidence that it wasn't us. Miraculously, the fines stopped and we haven't received any for over two years.

jemmaline

48. The Grass Isn’t Greener

green grass fieldPhoto by Petar Tonchev on Unsplash

I would sit in my yard with my dog between 4 and 6 pm every Friday for three months. Why? Because I had a diabolical plan. See, the HOA would measure my grass every freaking Friday. My lawn guy was the best and I refused to switch. However, he could only come on Saturday.

The HOA let us choose which day we inspected. Everyone voted for Saturdays. They secretly vetoed it and came Fridays but CLAIMED it was Saturday they were coming. To prove this, I sat with my dog every Friday waiting for him. He would park, wait a while, then go to another street and measure there.

My street was the only one that didn’t receive fines for breaking the agreement. It became a party when everyone figured out what I was doing. People would cook out in the front and we would all go throw on coals and food as needed. I got reported for something or other after the three-month marker, so I brought my supercut with three months of time-stamped videos and submitted them to the HOA distribution list before I went to meet with them.

There were 40/50 people there because we had organized a day to go and air grievances. It was maybe the best time I ever spent with any HOA.

naigung

49. Petty As All Get Out

blue utility truck parked in front of buildingPhoto by Mak on Unsplash

Everyone had to drag their trash bins down a hill to a curb where the garbage truck would pick it up, and people would be slow to get their bins back after pick-up. Well, the HOA went and dragged all the bins to the other side of the neighborhood and threw them in a pile in a random patch of public grass.

So we pay these people to be childishly petty and antagonize us? And their "punishment" only created more of an eyesore than bins uniformly lined up on a curb.

FireteamAccount

50. Lights Out

man carrying girlPhoto by Jonathan Borba on Unsplash

My mother-in-law was fighting stage 4 ovarian cancer a few years ago, and we had no desire to take down our Christmas lights. We were constantly visiting the hospital, and it was very touch and go. I also had a child under one year old. It was a very emotional time.

The HOA compliance officer constantly would stop at our house at all hours of the day. We had security cameras so finally after reviewing the footage we called the guard shack to see what the emergency was. What he told us made me want to scream. We were told that Christmas has been over for three weeks and we need to have our lights down before the end of the month or he would fine us $25 a day for the first week, then $50 each day after that.

We explained the situation, and the guy said well it’s not my problem, take your lights down. My wife exploded on the jerk. She then went to the next board meeting and let loose on the board and general manager. Turns out it wasn’t even an HOA policy.

The guy worked for the security company that was hired to work the main entrance guard shack, and would get a bonus if he would patrol and hand out fines for HOA violations. This jerk would just drive around and make up his own rules and fines. By the next meeting he was fired, and a new security company was hired when the contract was up in the summer.

Everything worked out in the end. Jerk fired, and my mother-in-law cancer free for over a year.

Jmpa87

If you went to elementary school around the same time I did, you learned that there are nine planets in the solar system. Then, in 2006, it was decided Pluto did not fit the bill when it came to requirements for being a planet.

Suddenly, there were no longer nine planets in the solar system. There were only eight.

The solar system having nine planets is an outdated fact, since it used to be fact, but is no longer true. This happens quite often.

We learn something, accept it as fact, and then its disproven and becomes outdated.

A lot of what we learn in school are considered outdated facts. We learn a lot of things that aren't true, or were true at one point, but aren't anymore. Redditors know this all to well and are eager to share their stories.

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