Mis-texts; we've all had it happen and it can sometimes be the stuff of nightmares.
Well, for the people involved anyway. For those of us who get to watch the shenanigans go down, it's the greatest show on earth. The circus ain't got nuthin' on this!
One Reddit user asked: What is the worst text that you accidentally sent to the wrong person?
Want to feel better about your life? At least you're not the dude who sent a picture of his booty-sweat to his Pokemon friends. Unless you are that guy, in which case, Sir we thank you for the greatest belly laugh we've ever had.
You guys ready to do this?
50. The Voice That Rocks The CradleGiphy
While at school I accidentally sent a text to a friend's house phone (landline). I happened to be a passenger in the car behind him and sent a message to him (also a passenger) saying "look behind you, I'm in close pursuit". Apparently when you text landlines a creepy artificial voice attempts to read the text to the recipient when they pick up the phone. His mum on receiving the message locked all the doors and windows and called the police about a potential stalker...
49. Always A Bridesmaid, Never A Bride(smaid)
Not the text I sent, but one a friend sent me.
Context: Recently got engaged and was visiting my closest friends individually to deliver their "Will you be my bridesmaid?" cards. Most of them took a photo of the card and put it on social media which was fine.
An hour later I get a text from one of my bridesmaids that says, "OMG I can't believe (sheliveslight) made (friend) a bridesmaid!! She'll just sleep around with the groomsmen like she did at the last wedding she was in. EWWW. Is it too late to deny the bridesmaid offer?"
Definitely had a good laugh with my fiancé about it. The bridesmaid apologized profusely after she sent the text (she claims it was meant for her mom to see), and still asks me to not bring it up whenever we're texting or hanging out. Still made her a bridesmaid though.
48. Wrong Mom Syndrome
This might not be the worst, but it happened yesterday so i thought i'd share.
My relationship with my mom is very much about cooking and house related stuff.
My relationship with my MiL is different, a lot more business-orientated, but still good.
Yesterday I sent to my MiL, very excitedly "I've found bread that smells just like the bread you used to make!".
When i got the reply that said "OK?", i knew i sent it to the wrong mom.
I resent the message to my mom, with the mixup i made and she found it extremely amusing.
So yeah. Accidentally sent a warm fuzzy message about bread to the wrong mom.
47. I Kissed A Girl And Seriously Disliked It
I tried to send a text to my boyfriend about how exasperated I was with my boss who had offered me a ride back to the office but was late. Yeah, guess who I actually sent that text to. It was an awkward car ride.
Not sure you'd call it an accident, drunk me definitely knew what she was doing, but I also texted my boyfriend while I was black out drunk to let him know that I was black out drunk and had made out with a chick and she tasted weird and I didn't like it.
46. Oof, And Here's Where We Get OffGiphy
The year after my husband died, I was dating a guy with whom I had shared some of the horrors of my marriage. He knew I was not a grieving widow. We usually would go out on Tuesday nights because I don't work Wednesday mornings.
On a Monday afternoon, the day before my husband's birthday, I had been texting my BF, when I received a text alert that asked if I wanted to go out Tuesday night to "celebrate."
Thinking this was my BF being funny, I texted back "you mean a bwahaha party?"
The text was from my daughter.
Probably too late but this is probably the most cringey thing I have ever done... So a couple years ago when I was like 19 I was working in an automotive shop. During slow season I got put on piece work, so this meant that every morning my boss would text me to let me know what time he needed me to come into work that day. Well one morning I woke up to a very depressing message from my super insecure boyfriend at the time. Basically saying that he didn't think he was good enough for me and he felt like I could do better, blah blah blah.
So before I got ready for work, I typed out this extremely long mushy response basically saying all that cheesy bullshit you say when you're trying to convince a person that everything's fine and that you love them and all that stupid shit. Like I'm talking the cheesiest cheese that's ever been cheesed via text message. So I type this long sappy message and send it so I can get ready for work.... only to later find out that I had somehow accidentally sent the message to a nice old Irish gentlemen- aka my fucking boss. I was mortified.
I was relentlessly teased for weeks by the shop full of older men that I worked with. Luckily my boyfriend and I split up 2 months later when I received a nice Facebook message from his ex girlfriend. Among the messages were screenshots of messages from my boyfriend begging for another chance, telling her that he would leave me in a heartbeat for another shot with her. My coworkers stopped teasing me shortly after that haha
44. Select Your Fighter
One time in college I got this girls number and texted her a little bit. That night I had been playing Mortal Kombat with my friend before we went out.
Anyway, that same friend goes home with a girl, and the next day, with a terrible hangover, I send the text "did you engage is sexual kombat with (girls name)"
Waited a while and didn't get a response and to my horror, I see I had accidentally sent it to the girl who's number I had gotten. That was so awkward but also so hilarious.
43. But The Deodorant Tho
This actually happened.
Meant to send it to my friend "AA". His name is right next to my boss "AB" on my phone. This was the first day back from Christmas holidays and I was trying to get a jump on the new year.
Sent this to my boss instead of my friend about my recent breakup:
"In the deodorant section at meijer and so many condoms here. Guess I won't be needing those for a while"
42. Wrong Kind Of Party
i was supposed to bring something to a friend's party and texted, "should i just bring some snacky things?" but instead it auto corrected to, "should i just bring some anally things?" i noticed right away but let it ride. she did not want anal things at this particular party.
41. Booths Are Different Than They Used To BeGiphy
Sent my husband a text asking if he liked the booty rub...
Only I forgot I had recently messaged my son so I didn't actually send it to my husband.
Luckily autocorrect changed booty to booth. Still it was mortifying. I mean maybe a booth rub is better than a booty rub, but a rub is a rub right?
As my life flashed before my eyes I thought of some detailed explanation on how to save myself the extreme embarrassment of my mistake. I was going to say it should have said bbq rub and I was asking about it to see if he enjoyed dinner. In the end I just apologized and said the message was meant to be for his step dad. My son is 19. I'm sure it grossed him out enough that at least he had the courtesy not to mention it. Thinking about it still makes me cringe though. 😑
40. Creativity Is Overrated, Am I Right Boss?
I was flipping through channels at work looking for a music station, when it started displaying the porn channels. The titles were hilarious, so I texted my boyfriend something like, "Wow, *ss Pounders 3 is on at 2pm, They're not even trying with the titles, just straight to the chase."
Of course, it wasn't my boyfriend but my former boss, who thankfully is very cool. He replied with, "Oh I agree, marketing really could be more creative."
I was still horribly embarrassed for the rest of the day.
39. The Light Threat Of Murder
My cousin was getting married and I stayed at my aunt's place to walk the dogs while she was busy getting ready for the wedding. About 30 minutes into this pet-sitting gig, I noticed that my aunt's goldfish had gone belly-up. My sister and I have terrible senses of humor so I texted her a pic of the dead fish and wrote, "pet sitting is going well, Rueben is next" (Rueben is the name of the dog)
I sent it to my aunt instead of my sister. She never mentioned it which made it worse somehow.
38. SURPRISE! ...Or Not
This is probably gonna get buried but here it goes. I almost ruined my friends surprise 30th birthday party. On the day of his party, we were all gathered in the party room. I was texting him because he felt sad he couldn't hang out with all his friends on his own birthday and he was going to one of his cousins birthday parties. I was kind of comforting him. All this while I was texting a mutual friend about us meeting up. I ended up texting the birthday boy, "I'll meet you out back, we gotta hurry though, he'll be here soon." I covered up by saying, I meant to send that to my bro, who was meeting me "in the backyard" to smoke before my Dad got home.
The birthday boy was still surprised, or at least played it off really well and told me later it seemed suspicious but he didn't think anything of it. Phew!
37. It's Always The Boss On Both Receiving Ends
Off sick from work, my missus and my boss had both texted me in a short space of time to check up on me, I thought I was responding to my missus with;
"honey, it's coming out both ends now, it won't stop coming out :sad face:"
My male boss text back saying "ah sweetie, you'll be alright xx" I felt like dying of embarrassment. Got into the office a few days later and first thing he did was crack up laughing when he saw me, still get stick about it to this day. He at least says he know's I wasn't faking it, as no one would commit that hard.
36. Say It Again, I Dare YouGiphy
To my religious, non-cussing mother: "It's hot as a motherfucker out here."
I immediately realized I sent it to the wrong person and I said, "I'm so sorry that wasn't for you." She said, "It better not be, that was very rude." That was five years ago and sometimes I will say, "Wow it's hot in here..." and she'll say, "How hot is it, lc7926? Hehehe"
So this is actually the wife jumping on to tell this story! For about 6months my husband lived apart while he was finishing out a work contract and we were moving to a new home about 200 miles away! While the house was being built we stayed with my parents! Seemed like the best way to save money since the whole thing was just temporary.
Well I was missing the hubby something fierce and decided to try my hand at sexting! I wrote my husband saying "I am just lying in bed using my purple vibrator and thinking of you!" My husband's name is Daniel. Well, two second later from the other room I hear my dad yell "what the hell! What are doing in there?" Yeah, I sent my Dad something meant for my husband Daniel, I came out of the room laughing because what else can you do?
He told me he doesn't want to know what I'm up to and that I better not doing crap like that while I'm his house. I am 30. We both never spoke of it again.
34. Dammit, Diana
I was in the car on the way to the airport with some friends and we were running late. We were about halfway there and on of my friends discovered she forgot her phone. We had turn around 20 minutes to go get it. I texted my girlfriend, "So we're on the way back because DIANA FORGOT HER F*CKING PHONE!"
I texted that to Diana. Many lolz especially because her mom was driving us and I had to say, "Diana, you're going to have a text from me waiting on your phone."
33. Accidentally A Jerk
New job, 8 weeks in and one of the older guys, who actually interviewed me, in the (small, 5 person sitting next to each other) finance team starts asking me some really basic questions about some accounting standards and how he should do something.
Go on our IM system to ask one of the guys (my age I got on with) if the older finance guy was EVEN qualified as an accountant. Took ages to reply, went for lunch and came back to a message from the older guy saying "yes, I am". Immediately got back up and left to contemplate just jumping out of the window.
Over my 4 years there we NEVER spoke about it and acted like it never happened. Safe to say later that day in the pub it got a good laugh from the guy I thought I was sending the message to.
32. I'm In Love With Stacey's Mom
Not sure if this counts but still awful:
I changed my phone and was on my way to back home to get all my numbers back, got some texts from a number that seemed familiar asking me about a movie and just assumed it was my girlfriend because we had been talking about going out to see some marvel movie earlier.
Got out of character super innocent responses to flirting, however, yet, still stupidly confident this was my girlfriend, I figured she was just messing with me as usual and kept going as normal.
Then I get a text from a number I know to be my dad telling me I'm being really inappropriate/taking a joke too far....then I realized I'd been attempting to flirt with my step-mother (just trying to invite me to a family movie thing) for like 30 minutes (and I mean like disgustingly aggressive teenager flirting too), I wanted to disown myself, thank god she didn't take it personally, I was uninvited to the family movie night that week though.
31. Reversed The DigitsGiphy
High school, stoked about my new cell phone and was getting everyone's number
Text one of my buddies "sup b*tch" because this is how friends talk to each other
Text this girl I had a crush on and was developing a small connection with "hey cutie"
Later, see girl and she is flustered saying "hey, why did you call me that?"
Thinking she is referring to being called cutie and that I may have overstepped my boundaries, I say "ah was that not okay?"
She says "no!"
I'm really taken back by this extreme reaction to being called cutie until later I see that I had texted her "sup b*tch"
After that we had a good laugh about it.
30. Get Ready For Some Level Ten Humiliation
When I was dating my wife at the tail end of college, we were sexting back and forth. I've never really been a sext guy. It seems pointless and silly and if I'm not with you I don't really want to be talking to you. Sexts just seem to go on and on. It's tiring really.
Anyway, my mom had texted me earlier and I'd responded about coming home that weekend.
Back to sexting. I realized that if I started being silly in my sexts my girlfriend would seem to lose interest and the sexts would wrap up. So this time I decided to ask if she was "ready for a level 5 cocknado"
I hadn't realized tho that my mother had texted me a moment before I started typing so I was actually responding to her.
29. To The Other Side
I was actually on the receiving end here.
The morning after a relatively wild night of college binge drinking, I woke up to a barrage of notifications on my phone.
One of these notifications was a text sent just before I woke up. It said "Good morning daddy :)"
Now, for a guy that's usually a great text to get. However, this particular text was from my twin sister.
I just sat there confused and stared at that message. Honestly, I didn't even think it was a mistake at first. I thought there was some critical piece of context that was locked away in my blackout brain, and I kept trying to reason with myself as to why my sister would send that to me.
After about 10 minutes of this, my sister texts me again with "OH F*CK NO THAT WASNT SUPPOSED TO GO TO YOU"
And then the dots connected in my partially functioning brain - that text was meant to go to some dude who was banging my sister.
How and why she accidentally texted me by mistake is beyond me. To be honest, I'm just happy it wasn't a picture message.
28. The Hockey Game Was, In The End, To Blame
I was on the way to a hockey game with my girlfriend. The relationship was running down and we had been fighting all day.
The tickets had been a gift from her, but she angrily suggested that I just take a friend instead.
I figured that was bait, so as much as I would have preferred that option, I said, "but you got these for me, this is part of the gift. There's nobody else I would rather go with than you".
My friend, whom I had been keeping abreast of the situation, suggested that I shouldn't go at all and that it would just make the situation worse. Being a good friend he even offered to pay my way to go to a game another day to make up for it.
He suggested that if I didn't go, we could go catch it at a bar together or something. But he asked that I let him know when I had made up my mind so that he could plan something else.
Smash cut to my girlfriend and I driving to the game. We haven't said a word to each other the entire drive. It. Is. Awkward.
So we parked in our favorite "free" parking spot near the rink downtown, and hailed a cab to go the rest of the way.
Then it dawned on me. Oh crap, I never texted my friend back.
So I hastily texted him, "hey buddy, tonight sucks lol. But I guess I'm in it to win it now, so I'll catch ya another night".
The quiet in the cab somehow went even icier.
"It was me", said my girlfriend.
"What?" I asked.
"You sent that text to me", She said through gritted teeth.
I started laughing. I have to admit.
She couldn't see the humour. I tried to make it a connective moment.
I said, "Look, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that. But cosmically, this is funny, right?"
She didn't agree.
We broke up that night at the game.
Note: She's a good person, we just didn't belong together.
27. Two Lauras, No Time
I had an LG enV3 for awhile that would switch recipient when I sent a text in college.
I also had multiple friends named Laura, but they were in different friend circles. One was a young, healthy and active classmate in my core classes. The other was a friend of mine who had been struggling with chronic illness for a long time.
I meant to text one friend "yeah, Laura is in the hospital," to a friend who knew the 2nd Laura. But as I hit sent it instead sent to a classmate who knew the 1st Laura and was close friends with her.
I looked away from my phone for only about 2 minutes but when I came back my phone was blowing up:
"OMG IS SHE OKAY?! DOES [her boyfriend/ now husband] KNOW??? WHAT HOSPITAL? ARE YOU GOING? CAN YOU PICK ME UP I'LL GET MY SHOES ON!"
I called that friend immediately and calmed them down to explain the situation.
But I learned two things:
a) that is a really solid friend.
b) I am so damn lucky that's the worst mix-up I had with that phone before I turned it back in to Verizon.
26. Definitely Need Some Of That Scotch
Hey, I got a story for this. Kinda long, but what else are you doing right now?
I have a close friend/co-worker (we'll call him Joe). One day I gave Joe a ride home from work. I was trying to tell him about this Scotch I like, but I couldn't remember the name of it. So, when I got home, I sent him a picture of the (empty) bottle. The next night I get a reply that just says "who is this?"
So this is where a smart person would say who they are and confirm who they were talking to. I, however, am not a smart man. I had just left Joe at a bar, and for some reason I assumed that he just didn't have my number saved and/or was drunk. So I texted him "I smoke crack in your nightmares," which was a reference to an actual nightmare that a mutual friend had told Joe and I about. A few minutes later, I got a response that said "WHO IS THIS?"
Again, this is where a smart person might notice something is amiss. I, however, did not. Instead of wondering if I had the right number, I decided to tell him "check your chip-chafed buttcrack." This was another inside joke, referring to something that had happened at work that day. I get another text that says "WHO THE F@*K IS THIS!?"
So at this point, I decide Joe is too drunk to understand these references. I tell him "Jeez, this is just sad now. It's Brakalicious." The response: "I DON'T KNOW A BRAKALICIOUS, WHO IS THIS?"
Finally, I started to catch on. I asked, "is this not Joe?" They said, "NO IT'S NOT AND YOU'RE SCARING THE HELL OUT OF MY SON!"
Apparently I had been texting a child. Let me quickly recap what I had sent:
- A picture of an empty bottle of Scotch.
- "I smoke crack in your nightmares."
- "Check your chip-chafed buttcrack."
I know I'm not smart, but stuff like this makes me worry that I'm full-blown stupid. Be careful out there, you guys.
25. Tell All Your FriendsGiphy
I thought I was texting my partner, but I accidentally sent my mom this text:
"I love when you make love to me."
She proceeded to tell all of my friends.
24. Boss Move
I once texted my boss: Imma put your whole face in this ramen and you will love me so hard for it."
23. Dad's So Pretty
I almost always send my girl a good morning text, accidentally sent this one to Dad instead:
"Good morning beautiful! I love you and hope you have a wonderful day!"
My dad just responded back:
"I always knew I was pretty."
I didn't send one, but I got one about me. I was on a plane with a group of co-workers, including a husband & wife seated a few rows ahead of me. I was eating a bag of Doritos when I get a text from the wife saying:
**"Is that (me) chomping away on chips back there?!" **
Like she was clearly annoyed with how loudly I was eating. I read it, smirked, and just waited. After a while, I watched her look at her husband wondering why he hadn't reacted to her text. Then she went back into her texts and realized she had sent it to me. We were still waiting to taxi so texts went through with no problem. She realized there was chance it didn't send and that I definitely got it.
Then I watched her ever so slowly set her phone down in her lap and stare silently straight ahead.
21. The Elf-ephant in the room.
My boss accidentally sent me a picture of a sexy elf costume asking if I would wear it. He apologized profusely for it.
20. Thanks, Siri
I was once trying to send my 14 year old daughter a text via Siri and it wouldn't recognize her name every time I said "Text (daughter)." I got annoyed and started cursing Siri out, which of course, Siri understood loud and clear.
She was waiting to be picked up from dance class. Thanks, Siri.
19. Bad DateGiphy
I was on a bad date, so I texted my friend with benefits:
**"This date sucks and I'm about to ditch them ASAP to come over to your place." **
Except I sent it to the person I was on the date with by accident. The date ended fairly quickly at that point.
18. CC Everyone
My buddy and I gchat at work all the time, and one day he was leaving and meant to type to his wife "see you at home, love you xoxo" and he accidentally sent it to me. Now we say "love you xoxo" to each other at the end of every day.
17. Urinal Acoustics
I once texted my boss that I thought the guy next to me in the urinal must have had a huge urethra based on how loud he peed...
16. This Never HappenedGiphy
My girlfriend left a pair of her underwear and had suggested I try them on. I did and sent a funny photo. She didn't respond, so I went to ask if she got it. That's when I saw that I had sent it to my younger brother.
I message back saying:
"Not meant for you, this NEVER happened." __
He replies back:
"This never happened."
It's been like 3 years I think and we've never discussed it, but maybe a few years down the line it'd be funny to bring back up and see if he remembers it.
Me And my girlfriend spent all day playing Pokemon Go in the hot Australian sun. Later, I sent a picture of my sweaty underwear to my girlfriend with the message:
**"Look at that sweat!" **
Turns out I sent it to my Pokemon Go group with more than 70 local people.
14. The Blue SpeedoGiphy
I sent a screenshot of an Amazon page to a client. She's a 58 year old woman from Nigeria.
It was a very small blue Speedo, on a male model.
13. Control, Alt., Delete My Memory
I was sitting on the toilet doing my business when my S.O sent me a text saying
**"How's the poo going?" **
I told him it was going great, so he jokingly asked for a picture. Thinking it would be hilarious I turned around, snapped a pic and hit send. I immediately realized I was actually on another chat with my friend - boyfriends message had just popped up as a notification.
12. 2 Boobs and 7 Chins
I was getting dressed with my phone in my hand. I was bent over to pick up a shirt and bra. My thumb must have been near that pic button in the chat. Next thing I know I've sent a lovely "selfie" and 7 chins to my Dungeons And Dragons group chat. Like awkward front-facing camera nude, not sexy.
This happened 2 days ago, I am still mortified. I can only hope I made someone's day, because I cried.
When I was like 16, I wrote to a friend about liking a girl. Of course I wrote it to her by accident.
I tried to cover it like:
"hahaha, yeah I did that on purpose to freak you out."
I ended up confessing later, but she wasn't interested.
I still cringe.
10. Kill Me Now
My friend cheated on her boyfriend and was trying to make it seem like it only happened one time, so she texted the other boy ...
"If (boyfriend) asks, we only had sex once"
and sent it to her boyfriend...
9. Bluetooth Betrayal
So this was not sent to the wrong person but still received by the wrong person. For the sake of the story, let's say my name is Jorge.:
I was at a college party with my friends. One of my friends sister showed up and we got along great. Friend and his sister drive me home. He is driving, hot sister is in the back seat playing music from her phone. I had gotten her number earlier and things had been getting flirty, so I texted her. Obviously I didn't want my friend/her brother to hear me trying to get with her. I didn't realize her phone would play the text out loud through the car's speakers. The music went silent and her phone goes:
**"Jorge said: Can't wait to get you alone." **
I am there in the front seat mortified because my close friend just heard what I wanted to do to his sister. He had no idea that she and I had even talked that night. Trying to cover with humor, I just look at her and go:
**"hehehehe AWKWAAARRD" **
He sat dead silent looking at the road.
My sister asked for a picture of the engagement ring I was buying for my fiance. Guess who I actually sent that one to.
7. Don't Tell Anyone Mom Killed The Baby Sitter
Sent the mom of the child I was babysitting a text stating that I would rather jump out of their window than continue to watch their kid for the rest of their night. Yeah, not my proudest moment.
I paced back and forth in their house until they got home. Pretended nothing happened and they texted me when I got home confronting me about it. I apologized and never saw them again. Oops.
6. Mom-entary Lapse
When I was sick a few months ago I actually sent my mom a text message asking her to come cuddle and rub my tummy until I felt better. It was meant for my boyfriend at the time. She totally thought that I was just homesick and missing my mom, so it wasn't as bad as it could have been.
5. Apology RequiredGiphy
Messaged my teammate Chris, he didn't respond, messaged him again in a vulgar way because I thought he was just ignoring me. Turns out there are two people at work with the very same name, and autopopulate picked the wrong one. This guy was a very serious Director. I was a lowly engineer. He was pissed, but I apologized profusely on IM and called him to apologize. I think that combo spared me. Still work there today.
4. Sorry Boss
One time I was a passenger in my mate's car and this segment on the radio played, like "text us your horrible boss stories and be in to win!" I'm sure you can see where this is going. My boss at the time was pretty awful. Didn't give me breaks, over worked me, charged me tax but pocketed it, was 5 weeks behind in my wages, would get drunk in the front by himself while I was in the back cleaning dishes (this was a restaurant). So I put this in a text to the radio station.
I put this in a text to my boss.
I had work that night. Very awkward shift. It's like he wanted to be mad at me, but now he was aware that I knew what he was doing was immoral he didn't want to make it worse...
Not many words were spoken that night.
my best friend had a new boyfriend that I hadn't met or even seen a photo of. We were hanging out and she kept getting snaps from him and it was ruining the movie we were watching. I turned to her and was like "what ya snappin?"
And she said her boyfriend kept sending her funny snap filter photos. Her phone dinged and she was like "oh he just sent one! Wanna see so you know what he looks like?" And it was his penis. So I saw his manhood before his face.
2. Advise this?Giphy
My freshman year roommate accidentally sent his academic advisor a timelapse of himself eating 12 tacos. I don't think I've ever laughed harder than after him yelling across the room, "OH s***! /u/lespaulbro, can I unsend an email???" 12/12, even now it's still funny to taco bout it.
1. Awkward Turtle
School had me swamped so I barely got to see my girlfriend for a while so I sent a mushy text about how she's always on my mind and I love her, accidentally sent it to a casual friend only to find out that she was secretly in love with me... it was a very awkward situation.
Cities. Those things we live in.
What city would you never, ever, EVER live in?
These places, while inhabited by a good number of people, aren't exactly the kind of spots you would want to go back to on a repeat visit.
Transformed Into Something Unsettling
"For me, it's Mecca. It's beautiful, but it's just not for an openly gay Western dude like me."
"Same with Tehran."
"Im surprised you think Mecca is beautiful lol. I, along with almost every Muslim I know, hates what has happened to that place. The skyscrapers are extremely ugly (especially that goddam clock tower) and overshadow the beauty of the mosque. Almost all historical sites are gone except for the Kabah. I know they need infrastructure to handle all the people but they did it in the worst way possible."
"Mecca like almost every other Arabian city has turned into places for rich Saudis to show their wealth and almost nothing else."
"Irvington, NJ - My friend told me to run through every red light and not stop at any cost after I dropped her off at her apartment. Her wise words phased me as I stopped at the first red light. 3 seconds later a huge motherf-cker with a crowbar starts heading in my direction. 3 red lights all while screaming toward McCarter Highway."
"The following week my car was stolen while I was attending classes in Newark and they used my car to rob a liquor store in Irvington, NJ. Literally only owned my car for 2 weeks."
"F-ck Irvington, NJ."
The Literal Fast And The Furious
"Cairo, Egypt. 19 million people, 23 million cars, no stoplights. On a 3 lane road, you have 5 lanes of traffic, left shoulder, straddling first white line, middle lane, straddling 2nd white line, and right shoulder! When we visited, our tour guide told us we needed 3 things to drive there…"good brakes, good horns & good nerves!"
Cars are bumper to bumper, and then people are crossing the street in between the cars, walking, in wheelchairs, pushing baby strollers! Then along beside our bus, comes someone riding a donkey! Crazy. Soldiers with machine guns on the street corners, we even had an armed guard on our tour bus."
Then there are some cities, some you might never have visited, which have generated enough discussion and gotten enough publicity to be actively awful in your mind. You don't have to have gone there to know you never want to be there.
A Place To Skip Completely
"Mumbai. Even if I was financially secure, I couldn't stand seeing all the poverty and squalor all the time. It would weigh on me."
"A friend of a friend spent six months riding his motorcycle from London to Chennai. He recorded everything in his journal in excruciating detail except for Mumbai. There was only one sentence about Mumbai. It was about driving around Mumbai. He did everything you could imagine on the way, but decided to skip Mumbai completely."
Not All Of It. Just Some Of It.
"Paris. I used to hate all French people because of my experiences there, and then I met one who explained that there's basically two Frances; Paris and everywhere else, and then we bonded over bad mouthing the place and now my antipathy is more precise."
It's All In The Family
"LA, if you want half quality people, air, and living for double the price and problems, it might be for you"
"I have friends who live in LA, and swear it's awesome. But they actually live in Rancho Palos Verdes, in their parent's mansions."
And then there's cities like these.
Cities so bad an introduction isn't required.
What's Your Excuse?
"The Simpsons summed it up perfectly: "We were born here, what's your excuse?"
"I can laugh at this because I'm from Thunder Bay"
Booze. Sex. Sin. All The Best Family Values.
"Las Vegas. Fun to visit, but not where I'd want to raise my family."
"I think my first realization that people grow up and live in Las Vegas was at 16 or so when watching Criminal Minds and hearing that Spencer Reid grew up there. It was that record scratch moment. Wait, people LIVE IN and raise their babies in the city of sex, sin, and gambling? I felt stupid, of course, upon realizing that all the casino workers and strippers have to live somewhere, and might fall in love, and might marry and have kids."
"And then I had a second life-changing revelation when I realized people probably feel the exact same way about my home city, Miami. I was raised there and lived there for 2 decades. A lot of people have no concept of Miami outside TV and probably think my parents are horrible people who raised me in a den of yachts, Pitbull, cocaine, dirty money, bad boob jobs, and spring breakers. Meanwhile I actually lived in a very normal and boring suburb."
A Slow Decline Over Time
"Gary Indiana. Went through there when heading to O'hare & was not impressed. heard multiple gunshots when driving through."
"So I literally learned about Gary, Indiana from these threads where it always pops up as one of the worst places to live or be. Could you explain why it is so sh-tty?"
"Long story made short, Gary was a good place to live. Nice paying steel industry jobs. That went away. High crime rate, high poverty rate, and empty, falling down buildings everywhere. I used to live in Chicago and would avoid Gary when traveling at all cost."
Each city is different. What works for some might not be what works for others.
However, it does feel like some of these cities need to be at the top of your "Never Visit" list, don't they?
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Sex is fun. Sex is healthy. Sex should be enjoyed and always consensual. But often, sex can be dangerous, especially when you're trying out new things, like a new location.
Who hasn't thought about upping the adrenaline ante when it comes to sexytime? We've all been there. But some ideas really should just stay ideas.
Why break a hip or an arm just to make things a little more saucy? Just try a different room in the house, or the backyard, but bring bug spray.
And some areas in public are safety hazards for a reason.
Redditor u/playfulinvestment01 wanted to know about all the places we need to avoid when it's sexytime, by asking:
What is the worst place you had sex?
I can tell you from experience that airplanes are not a good idea. Don't ask me how I know. A lady never kisses and tells, but highlights are ok. There will never be enough room and the movies are lying.
Like Glue...Melissa Mccarthy Falling GIFGiphy
"I lived in Australia for a bit and our studio had this black pleather couch. It looked exactly like that casting couch meme so we tried it for fun once. My ex sweats a lot even when it's not 40C out, but it was and we stuck to the couch like glue."
"On a hike in a wildlife refuge. We went off the trail to a more remote area. Was all fun and games tell I got stung on the penis. Was after the event had ended when I was briefly exposed, the little moron went right at me. We joke about it regularly, I'd say it comes up monthly. Just out of the blue she will say "hey remember when you got stung on your penis?" Yes, I remember and will never forget."
Up a Tree
"A "treehouse" that was actually a plywood shack on 6' stilts. It was pretty old and the plywood was splintery, so he laid down an old towel for me (you know, like a gentleman.) Also it was too small for me to fit in any direction, so my head stuck out the door. I stared at the sky and just... And that's the story of how I lost my virginity! A close second would be the bed in his semi-abandoned house full of the semi-abandoned hoarded belongings of his mother. But that's a different story."
"Met a girl online and we tried to do it at the park. A cop showed up before we started and told us we had to leave. We went back to our cars which was at a small shopping mall. We went behind the shopping mall and got it on behind a dumpster. It worked out well so we met up there again a week later. Except that time, as we were walking away, a dump truck picked the dumpster to empty the trash. Was hilarious at the time but frightening looking back on it. This was about 10 years ago."
Keyed OffPiano Performing GIFGiphy
"I don't recommend on top of a piano. Very uncomfortable and not at all the experience we envisioned."
Scratchy...Screaming The Voice GIF by NBCGiphy
"Bottom of cliff next to the ocean. Turns out I have an allergic reaction to coral and my back was scratched the hell up from it. It was windy, wet, and itchy. Runner up is a movie theatre."
"In a literal smoke house... lost my virginity with about 50 rings of deer sausage hanging around to dry. My friend and his dad were gone and we were like "this seems like a great place!" At least when I went home I smelled like venison instead of sex."
"I'm not sure if this counts because we didn't get very far. But In a Burger King parking lot… He had a car, so we would park it someplace and hook up in the tiny little two-seater. I was sitting astride him and most of my clothes were off when he froze. I looked over my shoulder and the once abandoned parking lot was abandoned no more. A family of four were just staring at us through the windshield. We didn't know what to do so I just put my shirt back on and we drove away."
"we can hear everything"
"My childhood house had an enclosed porch that was level with my parents' bedroom window (it's hard to explain). You couldn't see into the porch from the window, but if the porch windows were open and the bedroom windows were open you could hear everything from either room."
"So my now husband and I were trying to have sex in that porch, having opened the windows cuz it was hot AH. My parents usually never opened their window and it was past ten, when they usually went to sleep. We weren't trying to be loud, but apparently we were."
"After we were done, I checked my phone and I had 5 missed calls and a text from my mother saying "we can hear everything" and "please at least use a condom". We didn't acknowledge it at the time but my mom got drunk a few years ago and told my aunt the story and said she was worried she was hearing the conception of her grandchild."
Ivy!jerry seinfeld help GIF by HULUGiphy
"After a drunken night on 6th st in Austin, girl and I were walking down red river st, she drags me in this bushy grassy area, we go at it, finish, call an Uber to west campus, continue going at it. The next day, we are super itchy, come to find later it was poison ivy, got it all over our genitals. Fun times. 10/10 would do it again though."
Also, be careful when and if you do it on a bus. You're never fully out of the driver's line of sight. Don't ask me how I know, I just do. Be careful out there but have fun.
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Being a parent is one of the greatest challenges you'll face.
What did your parents do to you that made you promise that you would never do that to your own children?
You won't be in charge of your child forever. At some point, they're going to go out into the larger world, interact with other people, and suddenly all those little tics and quirks they developed at home will start to hamper their social progress.
Never Able To Hit The Pick-Up Time
"They always had me late or last minute to everything. I'll never do that to my kids because, having it done to me, I know it's all the parents fault."
"That feeling, when you are the last kid to be picked up after a school event that they didn't attend, and my teacher asking if I called, and if she said she was on her way, and how far away we lived, and then a big sigh while we continued to wait, in the dark, outside school, after everyone else has gone home, and me just wanting to disappear."
Forcing Them To Miss Out
"I was never allowed to hang out with friends outside of school. I had to go straight home and couldn't stay and hang out or go over to friends houses after school or on weekends. This went well into my senior year of high school. It sucked constantly feeling like I was missing out growing up."
Definition Of Overprotection
"Isolate them from the world."
"Growing up I see now that they wanted to protect me from how sh-tty things were, but now I feel a useless idiot. If I would've known as a kid that I had violent gang-related family, addicts, or that we were on welfare I could've found a desire to do better."
Taking on the care and responsibility of raising another human being to be a smart, compassionate, and well-meaning member of society shouldn't be easy. It should be a challenge.
Downplaying Their Accomplishments
"My parents never thought anything I did was a big deal. I LOVED art class but I remember showing my mom artwork and she'd tell me she could make that herself, ok thanks."
"Ouch, this brought back a painful memory. I always loved to sing but I was shy. I was also bullied and made fun of quite a bit. In highschool I finally joined choir and it helped me come into my own. I won first place awards at State Solo and Ensemble competition, student of the year in choir and even the Directors Award which was the highest honor given. My mom came to none of my performances. Not until Senior Night when I was the only performer singing a solo. I did the cliche song...Memory from the musical Cats. I got a standing ovation!"
"People who would typically refuse to speak to me approached me to tell me that they never would've dreamed I had that big, powerful, voice in me. I was just about floating with happiness and pride when I walked up to my mom and asked her what she thought. Her face twisted like she'd bit a lemon and she wiped out all my good feelings with the words, "Well, it probably isn't a good song for you. You sound like you were ATTEMPTING to sing opera and it's not supposed to sound like that."
Saying They Don't Quite Stack Up
"Compare them to other kids!!"
"This needs to be higher up. It's soooo insidious. Undermines so much about you, engenders the tendency for you to compare yourself to others, makes you needlessly resent the people they compare you to, but most of all, creates a sense that you'll never measure up or be 'good enough', not just for them, but in general."
Unable To Keep Their Minds At Peace
"The amount of anxiety I have/had from money related things is ridiculous. We were never poor, we were broke they just made bad decision after bad decision putting us in a stupid amount of debt"
Perhaps the most important part to remember when raising a child some adults might forget: You are the adult. Deal with your adult matters and let your child be a child. Don't bring them into your petty squabbles or unresolved affairs.
"My parents refused to address issues between my sister and myself. They hate conflict, so it was easier for them to guilt me into doing whatever my sister wanted and then praise me for being "good" than to ever put her in line. Being praised for always giving up what you want can really mess you up."
Lashing Out At The Other
"My parents were divorced since before I can remember. They did not get along very well when I was a kid. There was one weekend in particular where on the way to drop me off my Dad told me "whatever you do, don't end up like your Mother." Get home to Mom, she tells me "whatever you do, don't end up like your Dad." Best advice either of them ever gave me."
Asking The Child To Be The Adult
"They made their problems into problems for the whole family."
"They pulled us into everything. That's not fair to a kid. F-ck, I was straight out asked to fix things between them sometimes. No kid should be even the remotest bit responsible for their parent's relationship or fixing things that are wrong between them. That's f-cked up."
"We all have problems. We're human. No one expects perfection. But if you have a problem with your wife/husband? Don't bring the kid into it. Don't make it the kids' problem. Don't make the pain of the household -- which they're going to feel anyway -- somehow the kid's fault."
Don't want kids? Don't have kids.
Want kids? Be prepared to do everything you can to make sure that child has a supportive, strong upbringing. Don't let the mistakes of the past become the present.
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Animated movies meant for children have been known to sneak in a few dirty jokes here and there. After all, the parents have to sit through the movies with the kids too.
These "Easter eggs" can be found in virtually every movie meant for kids. It may go over our heads when we watch at age 10, but years later when we re-watch to enjoy a bit of nostalgia, we realize just how raunchy the creators were.
It's not just old movies from the 90s or early 2000s, some movies as recent as Frozen 2 have some moments of adult centered levity.
Redditor Pooky135790 wanted to know:
"What are the best adult jokes that are hidden in kids movies?"
These scenes really had us rolling.
Shrek definitely has a few innuendos.
"In Shrek talking about Snow White:"
"'Although she lives with 7 other men, she's not easy.'"
"Gets me every time!"
"The whole Duloc opening scene with the singing puppets. 'Please keep off of the grass, shine your shoes, wipe your…….face.'"
"Also in Shrek: when they get to Farquuad's castle, they note the large size of it, and Shrek asks if Farquuad is compensating for something."
"Kids will think it's a joke about his height."
"Adults will think it's a joke about his other kind of height."Giphy
Cars had plenty of jokes.
"In Cars when the two Miata ladies flash their pop-ups at McQueen"
"I didn't realize for years that that was the connotation."
"Look at that scene again and look at the photographers behind Mia."
"It took me a second but I think the one directly in the middle is zooming in on their posteriors lmfao."
- -Paintlightning mcqueen car GIF by Disney PixarGiphy
"Also the Piston Cup. 'He did what in his cup?!' Funny enough 10 year old me got that and my dad didn't."
Robots had it's fair share of moments.
"In Robots the [father of the] main character and his wife get the parts for their robot child and exclaim, 'Making the baby's the fun part!'"
"Also the old lady bot, Aunt Fanny, has a lot of junk in her trunk."
"There is that one scene from Ratatouille, when Linguini is about to confess about how Remy is in his hat cooking for him, and says 'I... have... a little... tiny...' and right after he says tiny, Collette quickly glances down at his pants. I never even noticed it until someone pointed it out to me because it is pretty subtle and can be easy to miss."
"Seriously the best dick joke in a kid's movie."
"That and the time when the short lil chef guy catches linguini in the pantry and says, 'One can become to familiar with vegetables, you know!'"Giphy
Coco really went there!
"In Coco, everybody laughs when they say Hector died 'choking on chorizo.'"
"'Choking on chorizo' is Mexican slang for sucking d*ck."
"I mean the song Hector sings to his dying friend has the implied, but not spoken, lyrics: 'And her tits they drag on the floor...' (he says 'knuckles' but the guy shouts, 'those aren't the words!')."
What a forgotten gem Monster House was.
"'That's it's uvula!' 'Oh.... So it's a girl house....'"
"Rick and Morty gets a lot of hate around here because of the sh*tty fan base, but Dan Harmon is a genuinely funny writer."
"Could not BELIEVE Dan Harmon was a writer on this 'til I googled Monster House; your point is a good one lol."
Even in Frozen.
"'Foot size doesn't matter' - when Anna from Frozen talks about her fiancé."
"Frozen 2, 'I like you better in leather anyway' when Kristoff dresses up for Anna at the end."
"My boyfriend and roommate and I all watched it and all three of us spat our drinks at that and we all did the 'Did we just hear what we think we heard?' look. Then we laughed for like 10 solid minutes."
Not a movie, but still good.
"There was an episode of Dexter's laboratory where the father kept going on about Dexter's mother's muffin, and saying he only married her for her muffin. The whole episode was filled with innuendo."
"'Your father is a muffin fiend, a muff-o-maniac, just the aroma can make him crazy.' Lol. Had to see it for myself."
"Season 2 ep 18 The Muffin King."
"There was the episode about DeeDee and Dexter having decoder rings! DeeDee says Dexter's club is for big 'I-D-K-S-C' Dexter decodes it, gasps, and says he's gonna tell mom. Lol."Giphy
Children's shows may be for kids entertainment, but they're created by adults. No doubt they're going to slip in a few naughty jokes here and there.
Time to re-watch some old favorites and see what we missed when we were younger.