Breakups suck. Even when they're the best thing for you and everyone involved is good with it, they're still kind of sad. It's so much worse when you realize the breakup was a huge mistake. One Reddit user asked:
What was your 'oh sh!t' moment when you realized you shouldn't have broke up with your ex S.O.?
The responses were rough, honest, heartbreaking, and eye-opening. The sorts of things that make people realize they were wrong were shocking. Some of the breakup reasons were really petty to begin with, and Facebook factors into more than one story. In all of that, though, lots of lessons were learned. Brace yourself, some of these stories are really sad or infuriating. But it's not all bad. I made sure to give you at least one happy ending.
You're welcome.
Merry Christmas, Mom
My mom left my step dad. She was always traveling back and forth 2 states over to take her grandma to chemo and during that time his father passed away and they just couldn't reconcile. They loved each other but life, you know?
He got remarried to a great lady and is super happy now. My mom told me recently that leaving him was the biggest mistake she made because he was the only good man she ever really knew. We all have Christmas at their house (seriously he and my mom divorced and he's still grandpa to my sisters kids and we call his new wife our step mom. They're awesome) but my poor mom has to watch them being happy together every year while she lives alone.
- BlNGPOT
Mourning Me
It really f*cked me up when I broke up with my fiance ten years ago because I realized I could never be the same person I was with him, with anyone else ever again.
That sounds emo, but we had so much backstory, so much history, so many inside jokes, so much shorthand for everything. We'd known each other for 15 years.
I had to mourn the loss of a part of me, a whole side of my personality, that I would never get to be again. Besides just losing him.
Obviously you can build history and jokes with new people, but it's not the same of 15 years of history from age 16 to age 32. Those are formative years.
Regardless, it was the right thing to do to leave him. Realizing what I had lost made it even harder. But it was the right thing to do for many reasons that aren't for here.
The Wedding Photos
My friend dumped his girlfriend of 12 years because he'd never dated anyone but her, they were struggling financially, and he wanted the chance to experience more relationships. Right after the breakup, she finished her PhD and started making six figures. She found someone else then got married within a year.
My friend tried dating a couple of people, but none of them have worked out and he still misses her. He said the moment he realized that he made a huge mistake was when he saw her wedding photos on Facebook and started crying.
Lesson Learned
I left her for someone else because I'm an idiot. The other girl turned out to be a jealous, mentally and physically abusive psychopath who eventually ended up in a psychiatric hospital. My S.O, quite rightly, refused to take me back.
Lesson learned.
Irrefutable Evidence
An old friend left his wife because he felt the sex was awful and he wanted someone who he felt he could have great sex with. Wife pleaded with him to stay (no kids) but he refused and filed for divorce.
Divorce is finalized about a year later. This guy dates lots of women, but still finds the sex unsatisfactory.
Meanwhile, ex-wife meets this other guy about a year after the divorce and they have that type of whirlwind romance that truly is from a rom com. She marries this new guy, they have kids and the perfect marriage. She tells everyone that the divorce was the best thing that ever happened to her and can't believe how happy she is and could never imagine that a marriage could be so wonderful.
The guy, who is my friend, is more miserable now than ever. Constantly says what a mistake he made leaving his wife. Doesn't even go on dates anymore and has not had sex in years.
That's a rough way to find out you are bad at sex, but believe me he now knows it's HIM who has work to do in that department. The evidence is irrefutable.
Changing The DJ's Set
I broke up with a woman I was head over heels in love with over something that on reflection was fairly minor. Spent half a year progressively dropping into a deeper and deeper funk. Wouldn't admit it to myself at all that I'd made the wrong choice.
I was hanging out with a friend when she pointed out to me that she had never seen me as happy as I'd been when I was with my SO. Another friend pointed out that same week that the music I'd been DJing had become much more depressing over the past few months and asked me if something was wrong. That woke me up and made me realize how special she had been. It took another year for me to realize she was the first woman I'd really loved in the way you come to love somebody for who they are, rather than what you imagine them to be.
I never saw her again. I wish I'd never left her. We only would have had six years together, as she came down with cancer that eventually killed her. It didn't change how I felt; I'd take those six years in exchange for all the years I have left.
The Happy Ending
When I saw her at her birthday party with another guy.
It was kind of a mutual-ish breakup; it was my first relationship so I found it kind of oppressive.
Weeks later, I took her to dinner and told her I thought we had a future together and that I would be more committed to the relationship.
We've been married for 11 years now :)
We were on a break cause I was being a dick. In order to get a reaction I ended the relationship on Facebook. That was the end of the friendship and all. Regretted it ever since. It's only added years of misery to my life
Overwhelmed And Suffocated
I pushed her away because I got overwhelmed. I don't know if it's an oh sh!t moment, but I miss her.
I have this habit in relationships where I always end things whenever I feel overwhelmed. I really, really loved her. But little things start to pile up. I don't say how I feel because I just don't like confrontation. And then one day I just didn't love her like I used to. I don't know why. And with her, I fell back in love with her for a while and I opened up to her about it. She tried to get me to open up to her more regularly about how I'm feeling, but I just...can't.
I fell out again and ended it. She tried so hard to figure things out with us, but it just...I didn't want to try. It didn't seem fair to her to continue this when I'm just going to keep feeling suffocated. And when she tried to help, I felt trapped.
I don't know why I'm like this. And I know she really cared and loved me. Part of me wants to reach out to her again and really mend things, and figure out how to not feel so suffocated anymore. I don't think it's anything she did, she was really understanding...it's just me. I don't know how to deal with me. And I miss her.
The Captions
I checked out his new girlfriend's social media accounts and saw how they were living exactly the same kind of life we had, and also living out things that my ex and I had planned. The difference is she seems so, so happy about it. Her captions about him shows how she treasures him and thinks highly of him, like she's so lucky to have him. He is indeed a good man. But during our time together he hadn't really figured out stuff yet. I felt like I always had to encourage him, to motivate him. I felt that I was always going to be the captain and cheerleader in the relationship.
When I read his current girlfriend's captions, it wasn't an 'oh sh!t' moment exactly, more of a disconcerting feeling of 'Was I wrong? Should I have been happier with that role? With what we had? Should I have not wished for more? Is there even a 'more'?'
But ultimately, I am happy for him. I don't think I'd ever be loved like that again tho.
Missing What's In front Of You
Because I was a very stupid young man who wasn't thinking at all. I had dated her for a little bit before I broke up with her, cause another girl who I thought was hotter showed a lot of interest in me. And it got really messy after that before we simply stopped existing to one another. That girl I left had been my longest steadfast friend who cared about me way more deeply than I ever deserved. Every relationship since then has exposed very deep flaws in me as a person and allowed me to make very fucking stupid mistakes that I wish had never happened. Every so often I think what if, but I'm not dwelling in the past. She now has an amazing man and I wish them the utmost happiness in this life and the next. I have worked tirelessly to reform myself so I never hurt anyone or make the mistakes I did, and also so that if I meet a girl like that again, I don't mess up again.
"I Don't Blame Her"
One of my Ex's I just never made time for. She was a great girl, we got along well, I just had different priorities at that point in my life.
She brought it up to me twice, she put in effort to fix it, tried scheduling dates, sat down and talked to me and explained why she was feeling hurt. And I'd change for a week. But I'd go back to my old ways. I just wasn't committed. I had other focuses namely my career. Finally she just said she still enjoyed my company but couldn't call seeing me once a week for a 2-3 hours a relationship. Even after she tried to stay friends but time between my responses got longer and longer until eventually I looked at it and her last text was from over a month ago. I felt too ashamed to respond, I probably should have.
But I don't blame her. She had needs I was not paying attention to. So I guess it's more she broke up with me, but she didn't want to. I forced her hand by just not being around.
The important thing was I learned from it. I learned I needed to pay more attention to my partners. I learned that just because I am very long-term focused that I cannot ignore the more immediate concerns and justify it with "It'll pay off in the long run". And that is a lesson that has lead to success since then.
Butt What?
Not me, but a friend of mine dumped his girlfriend of 5 years because he'd never gotten to have anal sex, and wanted to try it, and his girlfriend wouldn't do it because she was in remission from her fibromyalgia and she was afraid that the pain would cause a relapse. His girlfriend came from a wealthy family, and was supporting him financially at the time but apparently anal was just that important to him.
He dumped her and realized almost a year later when he finally met a girl who was willing to let him do anal that he was completely repulsed by the reality of it. He had been in denial that he'd made a mistake before then, but really broke down after he finally did the act. He was broke, and basically homeless (couch surfing). He missed his original gf, she'd been the only woman who'd had the patience to handle his eccentric personality for more than a couple months. He tried to get back with her but she'd moved on. He's never fully recovered in my opinion, he's still essentially homeless and has developed an alcohol problem in recent years.
Should Have Listened
One of the last things she ever told me was "you're going to be single for a long time." It's been 2.5 years. She was right. Not that I necessarily want to be with her again, but she was right that it would be hard to find someone again who'll give me a chance.
Bummer
When I was 16 I briefly dated a girl who was 17. She wasn't in my peer group; she was an "outsider". But she was nice, had curly blond hair. I liked her. She had an old 1970 Cadillac and she let me drive it. I had never driven before so maneuvering that giant boat on the narrow streets of town was...fun. After a few months my friends were bugging me about why I was wasting my time with this girl. She didn't smoke or drink or listen to hard rock. So I let us drift apart. She turned 18, graduated high school and then won the New Jersey state lottery for $6M. I should have stayed with her. My friends were all bums.
With Friends Like These...
The break up was kinda mutual (didn't want to break up with him but, I had no choice.) A few weeks after we broke up, I started to catch up with some friends - all of which tried to take advantage me. The first guy wanted nude pictures of me, the other tried to get me into bed. I felt very sh!tty and disgusted, and couldn't help but remember how gentle and careful my ex was with me.
A Mile Down The Road
I hope she sees this.
When I got about a mile down the road after packing all of my things, I truly regretted leaving. We tried to hang on for a month afterwards but it didn't take. She couldn't handle that I just left instead of staying and trying to work on things. It's my biggest regret.
I was too wrapped up in myself to really see what was causing all of our issues, I only wish I could've seen it sooner. I tried to talk to her about it, to show her that I know now what I could do to help mend everything but I caused too much damage and pain.
I hope to see her again one day, but all I can do now is work on becoming the best person I can be. I'm currently working on all of my issues that caused all of these problems. It just saddens me because I know that down the road I'll meet someone new who will have this version of me that I will have put a lot of time and effort into. But in my mind's eye my ex is the one who deserves all of that work from me.
Mean What You Say
I wasn't the one the broke up with my ex, but breaking up was always a topic that was there due to long distance. We were talking about the future one day and she was pretty adamant about pursuing her career, which meant she wasn't planning on moving back with me. It turned sour really quick and I threw out a "maybe we should start thinking about breaking up."
The next time I visited her, she told me that she decided - and we broke up. I guess the "oh sh!t moment" didn't hit me until a month after when I tried to win her back by flying out to her (I had to give her stuff back, at least that was my excuse). But it didn't work and might have been even more painful cause it seemed like she had someone else already.
When I got home I sat on a bench in a park and couldn't stop crying. I felt like what I just lost was equivalent to losing my best friends that always followed along with all the dumb childish ideas I had, losing my mom with her undying love and loyalty, losing all the vibrant colors that are in the world that made everything seems so beautiful, losing my dreams of possibly one day having kids (I never really liked kids but I always thought if we had kids they would've been awesome), and then some.
The "oh sh!t moment" lasted for about a year, and I still remember her fondly with no resentment because I was dumb. But I take the advice "say what you mean, and mean what you say" pretty seriously now.
- kevwjj
Mental Health Crisis
I left my girlfriend at the bottom of a debilitating mental health crisis. I guess I just ran out of energy for it and figured if I was good enough to get her, I was good enough to find someone easier and healthier to be with.
Nope. Coming up on five years. She recovered completely, no other woman has shown a shred of interest since then. All I had to do was stick it out.
H/T: Reddit
We aren't perfect. There's plenty of things in our pasts that we look back and cringe at.
That being said, sometimes those cringe moments go far past cringe. Sometimes they get to the point of no return awfulness because that's where our human nature took us in this moment.
He's Not Dead
<p>When I was 17 my brother walked into a room where I was lying down on my back and stamped on my chest. </p><p>I saw red and stood up and punched him square in the face, unfortunately this was in a doorway in front of a staircase, which he fell down backwards and when he hit the wall at the bottom folded up in such a way I thought I'd killed him. </p><p>He didn't move for what seemed like forever and I was certain he was dead, the world just spinning out around me. </p><p>He wasn't dead, obviously, but knocked out briefly and he never laid a finger on me again, after being the kind of nasty bully who had spent much of my childhood just randomly beating on me for his own enjoyment.</p><p>Those were the longest seconds of my life.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/MrSpindles/" target="_blank">MrSpindles</a></p>Complete And Total Taking Over
<p>I don't know about "haunts" but it makes me cringe. In public school we had this thing in our school called 'Jumpstart for Kids' where you'd go around, often door to door, collecting money for this charity once a year. </p><p>Anyway I was 12 and I liked a boy in highschool and he convinced me to take the envelope and go door to door and collect money... to give to him so he could buy a drum set. </p><p>I walked around collecting from all these sweet people who told me I was so nice for collecting money for underprivileged kids. Fortunately I got caught and my parents made me donate it instead. So embarrassing.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/heather-rch/" target="_blank">heather-rch</a></p>Scene Of The Crime
<p>Provincial Park, pay shower, 12 years old, line-up to get in. Towards the end of my turn in the shower, get the urge to poop. Cannot hold it. Using a sock to smoosh the last of it down the drain, water turns off. Out of quarters. Put a towel over my head, run out of there past the line-up.</p><p> Get back to the camp site, immediately change clothes, shoes, hairstyle, put on a ball cap. Work up the courage to go by the area later on, it is all cordoned off. Hear people angrily discussing how someone took a dump in the shower.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/eskerhobolo/" target="_blank">eskerhobolo</a></p>When Bullying A Bully Isn't Worth It
<p>We had a camper in this large campground at a lake when I was growing up. Tons of families with kids riding bicycles and golf carts up and down the gravel roads through the property. </p><p>There was this one kid that was a few years older than me (I was 10, he was probably 12 or so) who's dad was the security guard and they lived on site and he was the biggest punk in the park. He'd try and wrestle you in the pool, throw rocks at you as you were fishing, ride off on your bike if you left it laying around, bully and hit smaller kids, even girls. </p><p>I was driving the golf cart down a pretty steep, gravel hill one day when I came up on him on his bike, going the same way as me. He never turned around to acknowledge I was there so I got up just to the side of him and turned HARD right into him. We were both going probably 10-15 miles an hour down this hill. </p><p>He took a nasty spill and rolled off the side of the road and wasn't moving. I kept on going, acting like nothing happened. We were completely isolated so no one saw me. I remember him getting taken away in an ambulance and hearing that he'd been hurt pretty bad.</p><p> I immediately felt remorse for what I'd done but never said a word to anyone. He or anyone else never had any idea I did it either. I look back now and think about how much of a financial strain I put on that family, seeing as how they were already living in a camper. That was a really REALLY evil thing I did and it still crosses my mind quite often.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/harp9r/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">harp9r</a></p>Not Hurting
<p>So you know the carnival horses you can sit on outside of grocery stores (back in the 90's). Well I wanted to ride one and this sweet old woman tried to help me get on, slipped, and really really hurt herself falling into the ride. I just remember hearing her scream and I got scared and ran away.<br></p><p>I'm 31 years old and think about that day at least once a week.</p><p><span></span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/packhawk2689/" target="_blank">packhawk2689</a></p>Gotta Get Up, Gotta Get Out
<p>Easy. When I was 5, I burned my house down.</p><p>We were living in a small home, me, my sister, mom, dad. I was supposed to be in the bed, but I wanted a toy or <em>something</em> that was under my bed, and I didn't want to wake my parents by turning on my light... soooo I grabbed my dad's cigarette lighter and light the flame under my bed. Needless to say it went up like a match. </p><p>My dad tried to stomp the fire out after I started screaming fire, burning his leg horribly. My room and the source of the fire was blocking EVERY other bedroom from escape, so everyone had to jump out of a window. Funnily enough, I don't remember the world-class a** whipping I must have received for that. I just cringe at the thought that I almost killed all of us being a dumb kid.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Paradigm_Pizza/" target="_blank">Paradigm_Pizza</a></p>Escape
<p>I was married to an insanely abusive man. After two years I escaped and he killed himself shortly after. Not sure if it was him avoiding charges, or avoiding his deployment but his family decided it was 100% my fault. They told the police I gave him the gun and encouraged him. </p><p>That was investigated and unfounded. What they didn't know was he'd scanned and emailed me his suicide note the wee hours of the morning of. The police didn't find the note. Of course I handed it over when they asked. His family would not believe I wasn't involved or at fault and harassed me for a long time. </p><p>If I got a job and they found out about it they'd call and leave so many complaints I'd get let go. Found out what I drove and had their other kids and their friends follow me. </p><p>I ended up having to leave that town and disappearing to avoid them. But before I did, I printed a copy of his suicide note, found his moms car at her job, and left it on the window shield. That note detailed the abuse his father put him through, his rage at his mother for never leaving him and making himself and his siblings live with the SOB. </p><p>That he never wanted me to blame myself, that this was his way of getting the hell away from them and the damage he caused. I felt pretty bad for awhile. But at the same time.... they literally wouldn't leave me alone and stalked me for 5 years.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/TinyTinasRabidOtter/" target="_blank">TinyTinasRabidOtter</a></p>If You Give A Pup A Shower
<p>Bored in the house one day alone when I was about 10, so decided to give my dog a shower, I genuinely loved my dog, he was my best friend growing up, but for some unknown reason I decided to turn the shower onto hot water only (extremely hot) and started showering him. There was a delay I guess in him reacting because his fur was so thick, which meant I kept it on him for a few seconds.</p><p>suddenly He started yelping like dogs do when in pain, his instincts were to not be aggressive or try to escape but just looked at me scared and confused.</p><p>I panicked smashed on the cold and cooled him down as quick as I could.</p><p>Fortunately he was not 'burnt' or had any ongoing issues, he never even lost trust in me.</p><p>I felt physically sick and ashamed in myself for days after, and obviously it still bothers me 20 years later.</p><p>The good thing to come from it is that I was so disturbed by my action that I have never knowingly inflicted pain on anyone or anything since.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/ChrisLeeHD/" target="_blank">ChrisLeeHD</a></p>Caught In The Act
<p>I was at school and for no reason at all, I eavesdropped a very private and delicate conversation between one of my teachers and her husband. </p><p>Then she opened the door and saw me eavesdropping. It was beyond humiliating and I deserved the scolding afterwards. I was young and stupid obviously, but when I remember the look on her face, I still cringe hard, even if it's been almost 20 years.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/naydeilinsei/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">naydeilinsei</a></p>Shunned
<p>Second grade, I had a classmate (fake name Sasha) who was kinda awkward. Crooked teeth, quiet, not too bright. Didn't really have any friends within the class, though she did have some people she would hang out with at recess. </p><p>In any case, a boy in the grade above us, a friend of my brother's actually, for some reason decided to spread a rumor among all of us that Sasha had lice and to stay away from her. </p><p>I bought it without a second thought, and so did most of us; as far as I know, she wasn't particularly teased, but she was just shunned. No one talked to her. </p><p>She was around till the end of the year and didn't come back for third grade. No clue what happened to her, but I really hope we didn't mess her up too much.</p><p>Next summer, I got the worst case of head lice my pediatrician had ever seen. Karma, my dudes.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Isabel79540/" target="_blank">Isabel79540</a></p>| Image by elizabethaferry from Pixabay |
I don't miss high school or the people in it. People who seem to have peaked in high school also weird me out. How? Why? I can definitely tell you that life got much more interesting the older I got (my 20s were way more fun than any of my time in high school). If you were to ask me if I have any regrets, I suppose I would say that I wish I had been more assertive and stood up for myself more. Depression has a way of complicating goals like that, though. Let me tell you: It feels nice to be so much healthier than I was then.
After Redditor Sub2735 asked the online community, "What's your biggest regret from high school?" people shared their stories.
"I'm sure the mentality..."
<p>Being too shy, I'm sure the mentality that everyone hated me wasn't very good for making friends.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpad84o?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">aeflare</a></p>"I'm not sure how it could have gone differently..."
<p>Dropping out. I am not sure how it could have gone differently, but I do wish it had. It was expensive to upgrade all that education to get into post-secondary, and I also missed out on a lot of social things.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpafhng?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">DaughterEarth</a></p>"I was already pretty cynical..."
<p>I was told I had received a full-ride scholarship, so I stopped putting in any effort on other scholarships. When the time came, it wound up being awarded to someone who applied late, got it due to their family's income level, and then dropped out of college after one month. My first two years of college were a financial nightmare as I had to pay my own way on everything (except rent, as I lived at home and commuted across state lines for work and college). If I had $50 at the end of the month, that was a damn good month. I couldn't get student loans and my parents refused to help, so I had worked out a deal with the financial office at college to pay something like $550 a month, which was about 90% of my income.</p><p>I regret not confronting whoever made that decision about the scholarship. I somewhat regret not putting in the effort to get other scholarships at the same time, but I can't blame myself for it either.</p><p>I was already pretty cynical at that point, but that was when I realized just how quickly your back becomes a knife block for someone else's optics.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpalo5m?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">A_Garbage_Account</a></p>"I used to daydream..."
<p>I used to daydream about going back one day and burning it to the ground, but it's just been demolished by land developers. So I guess that dream's dead.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpafcpx?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">EducationTangle06</a></p>I suppose the phrase, "Always follow your dreams"...
<p>...doesn't apply in this case.</p>"Acting like a clown..."
<p>Acting like a clown, annoying everyone to the point where no one really stayed in contact with me after, and taking my precious little charter school for granted.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpae5ak?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">SalFunction12</a></p>I have a friend who has expressed similar concerns about his time in high school.
<p>He ended up spending his college years going to therapy and maturing. His clownish antics were a coping mechanism for a lot of crap going on in his life at the time. He's happier and healthier now and that's what matters.</p>"To be fair..."
<p><span>Dating my best friend. To be fair that's how I found out a lot of people weren't really my friends but getting ghosted afterward really hurt.</span></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpasudw?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">kannacantplay</a></p>"She got tired..."
<p>I took my crush to Daft Punk Alive 2007 instead of my best friend. She wasn't responding all day, and I was with my friend. We were about to leave when she called. She'd been with her boyfriend all day and had forgotten about the concert. I took her. My buddy was disappointed but cool about it.</p><p>She got tired of being on the floor halfway through so we sat in the bleachers. We started walking out before the encore because she wanted to get home sooner.</p><p>Always wanted to take my buddy to a Daft Punk show after that, and was going to, no matter where or how much it cost. But I'll never get the chance.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpbd6so?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">spanishgrapelaw</a></p>"Looking back now..."
<p>I regret not telling my crushes how I felt about them. Looking back now, I know that those puppy love relationships probably wouldn't have developed into anything long term and I no doubt would've had my heart broken when they inevitably ended but, I can't help but wonder: What if?</p><p>Having cultivated a host of insecurities by the time I got to high school, I was really good at hiding my inner thoughts and feelings - I also probably didn't see myself very clearly. So, I just assumed that there was zero chance of my crushes reciprocating my feelings and never said anything to them about it. I also probably sub-consciously ignored any signs that they were interested in me (again, didn't see myself clearly, was very insecure).</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpazwl2?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Vegoceraptor</a></p>"The world is wider..."
<p>Not engaging with opportunities available to me and just looking at it like a holding pen just before adulthood.</p><p>It may seem hokey, but join clubs, try out lots of sports, pursue interests, pay attention in class and engage with your peers.</p><p>The world is wider for adolescents than I allowed myself to believe it was at the time.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpaxnsf?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Big_Requirement_3540</a></p>"I already knew I was quitting..."
<p>Senior year I had the option of a guaranteed internship and doing half days at school. Turned it down because my parents wanted me to be in band (and I enjoyed it so didn't put up a fight).</p><p>I already knew I was quitting when I went to college. The internship would have been great experience to propel my studies/career.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpatszd?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ClubbsMcLubbs</a></p>High school isn't easy.
<p>Nor is it particularly fun for a lot of people. Remember how awful being a teenager was? Remember what it was like to feel like you were at the whim of your hormones all the time? It's an emotional rollercoaster. It's no wonder so many people would rather close the book on high school once it's over (or have some regrets related to their time there).</p><p>Have your own stories? Feel free to share them in the comments below.</p>When we are on the outside looking in, it can feel so obvious that a relationship is doomed.
When we offer advice to friends, family, or people oversharing at a party, the correct next move often seems wildly obvious: get out of that relationship.
Enough Was Enough
<p>"He was mentally ill, possibly with Paranoid Personality Disorder, definitely delusional, maybe schizophrenic. I was accused of all types of things, affairs, being part of plots to 'get' him, even urinating on his toothbrush."</p><p>"I stayed for 3 years after I knew I no longer loved him because I knew he would spiral without someone to look after him. He had destroyed every relationship with his friends and family because they were all also out to 'get' him."</p><p>"I finally told him I would only stay if he got help, which he refused. So I left."</p><p>"I was right about him spiralling. He went from sharehouse to sharehouse as all the other tenants were 'out to get him'. He eventually ended up homeless for a while is now facing 18 different charges so will probably end up in jail."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpal6ip?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">damekl</a></p>An Unfortunately Common Response to Fading Love
<p>"She threatened to kill herself and even though I wanted out of the relationship, i didnt want her to be hurt or die. I remember us arguing about something very trivial but she was getting very upset. She walked out mid conversation and came back with cuts all over her legs and thighs."</p><p>"I tried getting help from parents, school counselors, doctors. None helped. So i just tried to manage as much as I can. Eventually she joined the military & moved away and that was the moment I was finally free."</p><p>"Years wasted though."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpab7fm?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">corazon_im_hurt</a></p>A Bare Bones Story
<p>"Short version: domestic violence."</p><p>"Long version: I was afraid to leave because I believed he would find me and kill me."</p><p>"Conclusion: He pushed me too far and I ran."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpaizjk?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">AliceMorgon</a></p>Tipping Over the Edge
<p>"He was a violent drug addict and I was scared of what he may do if I left. I never truly loved him but our relationship became very codependent very quickly."</p><p>"He cheated on me, took advantage of the fact that I had a car and money, but I still stayed because he was always threatening to kill himself or to kill my cats."</p><p>"Then one night he literally backed me into a corner and tried to punch me in the head so that finally made me open my eyes and realize I had to get out."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpb5z6l?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Theging96666</a></p>Optics
<p>"She's terminally ill, and dying of Cancer, even though she is abusive now, and was before, I can't really leave, the social pressure to be a *good man* plus the cost of divorce and everything else is just too much, at this point it's just easier to wait it out."</p><p>"Plus I really like her family, and if I left her when she was sick...it would pretty much kill that relationship."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpbm18j?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Boise_State_2020</a></p>Always a Reason to Stay
<p>"We were living together at 16, she cheated on me and I told her I wanted her to leave, she begged me not to send her back to her moms house because they have like 8 people in a 2 bedroom house and because she would've had nowhere else to go."</p><p>"I was 16 I didn't know how to handle a girl literally begging me so I let her stay against my better judgement and it created a hurtful cycle of falling in and out of love."</p><p>"Feeling like things could get better and then having my world come crashing down every time I look at her because I think of reading the message of the guy saying he loved watching her get on top of him."</p><p>"A couple of years go by and we're not in love, just tolerating each other at this point and then we got pregnant, stayed together through the pregnancy but the stress was too much for both of us and caused fighting, sleeping apart, more cheating."</p><p>"When the baby was born she had finally turned 18 and we moved away our relationship got much better with each other, we're best friends now and are just trying our best to raise our daughter to be healthy and happy and know she's loved."</p><p>"Neither of us had good childhoods."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpa47ed?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Lapidot-Wav</a></p>For the In-Laws
<p>"I lived with a man I never loved. His mum was also living with us and I loved her more than my own biological mum."</p><p>"She was the nicest, kindest and the most caring soul I have ever met in my life. I left that man when he told me that he knew I was only with him because of his mum. That was 20 years ago but I still miss her every single day."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpbz7av?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Mayfl21</a></p>A Sudden Shift
<p>"I was with my wife for 14 years. For at least half of that, I wasn't happy with the relationship. But I had decided I was ok with it because everything about our life together was acceptable, for lack of a better word."</p><p>"We owned a house, made good money, got along well, shared hobbies, etc. We were basically roommates/best friends who just didn't love each other the way you would normally expect from a married couple."</p><p>"When the pandemic hit, and we were forced to stay home more and spend time with each other EVERY DAY, we started to get a better sense of how well we actually tolerated each other. It didn't go well."</p><p>"She ended up getting really into online gaming and met some other guys and basically cheated on me. In retrospect, it was obvious it would reach that point."</p><p>"But I was content to stay there as long as I could because it was a comfortable life with very little stress and obligation."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpaadi2?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">knucklehead923</a></p>Slow Fade
<p>"I was no longer as 'in love' with her. But I still loved her. After years together it could become tricky to figure out exactly what It's just a lull and what is it really going away."</p><p>"I was still living with my best friend. But ended it because once we really realized that I wasn't feeling the same way anymore. I was just hurting her for me to stay since she was still in love."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpa6h2s?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">collin3000</a></p>Wise, But a Little Sad
<p>"We have good chemistry and built a life together. After a lot of years, love comes and goes. It is like the seasons."</p><p>"As cold as it can be in the winter, if you put the effort in, the spring will always come back."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpa41jl?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Aizpunr</a></p>| Image by PublicDomainPictures from Pixabay |
Some people don't take breakups very well. And those that don't can sometimes engage in behavior that others might view as bothersome, unsettling, even toxic.
Others engage in abusive behavior during the relationship, a major red flag that some people might not take seriously until it's too late.
After Redditor XYZ3110 asked the online community, "What's the creepiest thing an ex has done?" people shared their stories.