I love movies.
The cinema has long been a savior of mine and has given me some of my greatest inspirations.
But being an avid film watcher has also made me quite the critic.
I can always tell when a movie is worth the money to see in theaters or wait until it's on basic cable with commercials.
Redditor fjv08kl wanted to know what is obvious about mediocre cinema by asking:
"What are some subtle 'red flags' that tell you a movie is not worth watching?"
5 Star Crap
"Critics are calling it 'laugh-out-loud funny!'"
"It's almost always garbage."
"If the trailer has blurbs from reviews, check to see who wrote each review. On bad movies, they will often put multiple blurbs from the same review."
"And quote phrases that can easily be taken out of context. That '..laugh out loud' in the trailer was actually taken from the quote "This movie was so painfully unfunny that I didn't laugh out loud even once.""
"Them desperately pointing out the director/producers/writers/studios better movies and productions that barely relate to the movie's themes in an attempt to lure in fans. To me it always meant the movie doesn't stand out enough to stand on its own."
"A movie has a popular song with different lyrics."
"They push the ads way too hard on TV and reddit."
"If a studio knows a movie is bad they will use an ad blitz to get as many people to go opening weekend as possible before the word of mouth has a chance to sink them."
"1-Larger the advertisement budget, the larger the revenue it needs to pull in to justify the cost."
"2-The larger the 'revenue requirement' the more the movie will cater to wider ranges of audiences (more people = more tickets = more revenue)."
"3-The more people that a movie must appeal to, means it must dumb things down or take less risks because you will be catering to a lower denominator overall."
"So yeah, that's kind of my thinking on it. If you don't have a target demographic or a specific genre you're really tying to nail, you instead just water the whole product down and get a typical 'blockbuster' formula movie instead."
Too Much too Soon
"When you feel the preview showed basically the whole movie."
"This. And also when it's obvious that the dialogue in the preview was put into the movie for the sole purpose of making the preview interesting."
"If in the commercial the people who are 'raving' about it aren't anyone reputable. Susan on Twitter said it was the best movie she saw in 2020. Susan didn't have many options in 2020, her standards were lower."
These Conspiracy Theories Are Easy to Debunk | George Takei’s Oh MyyyThere are some bizarre conspiracy theories out there. Like Australia isn't actually real... seriously? Any conspiracy theory that requires many people to kee...
"It's clearly just a 'star vehicle.' Like, all the hype is about the star's riveting new performance... but no corresponding critical praise for the story, directing, special effects, nothing."
'Tis the Season....
"Release date. The only movies that go into wide release in January or February are:
- "Oscar bait that got limited releases in December in NY/LA to qualify for the Oscars"
- "A romance or two the Friday before Valentine's Day"
- "Crap that the distributors are assuming will bomb that they dump onto the screens in midwinter."
"Hollywood insiders even refer to the first two months of the year as 'Dumpuary.' Every so often a Dumpuary release will succeed (Get Out and Deadpool are recent examples), but by and large it's garbage they're hoping to squeeze something/anything out of."
"Late March/early April and August/September also tend to be weaker fare. If it was really good, the studios would save them for summer blockbuster season (May-July) or award-giving season (October to mid-December). There are exceptions, but again, they're exceptions."
"If any of the actors have an overly expressive 'O' face on the films poster."
"Weirdly specific, random info dump in casual conversations between characters, especially within the first minute or two."
"People referring to reach other as 'sis' or 'cuz' because that's the only way they can convey their relation. Or when siblings talking to each other say 'our mom.' You both know her as Mom. You just f**king call her Mom."
In the Toilet
"When a comedy has poop and fart jokes, outdated meme and pop culture references."
"Toilet humour is not always bad. The trick with humour is not the literality of a joke, but what layer of sincerity you believe the piece is trying to get at. For example South Park has toilet humour all over the place, and yet it can be poignant at times."
"Also I'm not sure I get the outdated argument either, referential humour is a big part of comedy in general, and there are tonnes of comedy shows that have those but still age well. I get the point, because there are easily some references that will stick out like crazy as bad writing, but those are not subtle when you see them, they're super obvious."
"If they don't screen it for critics, you know it's going to be really bad."
"That's not really subtle though. That's pretty much a big flashing neon sign reading 'We know this movie sucks!'"
"You know, I thought about that, but I feel like there really aren't many truly subtle clues that a movie is going to be terrible, so I went with my first thought. Even in this thread all of them are fairly obvious or don't make a ton of sense."
"based on a true story"
"If it’s based off of a true event that occurred less than a year prior. A fictional movie set against the backdrop of a current event is usually fine; hell, many of the greatest WWII and Vietnam movies were filmed while the war was still being fought. It's when they want to do a 'based on a true story' film before even half the facts are even known about an incident in order to cash in on it while it's still fresh in people's minds. Those films tend to be lacking in actual story and over dramatized. I'll make an exception and say Zero Dark Thirty was out a very short time after the actual event and it was actually really good in my opinion."
"In animated movies, whenever the animation is too 'clean.' It's not ugly, but everything is just a little too smooth and a little too bright. Also if there's ever pop music playing in the background. The music's also always slightly out of date, like 6 months after its heyday."
mildlyinsecurelol90Monsters Inc Animation GIF by Disney PixarGiphy
"The emphasis of who's in it over what it's about. I don't care who's in the movie half the time."
"There's some exceptions to this. There are a few actors who are like the potatoes of the film world, not that exciting on their own, but are super versatile and somehow manage to elevate everything they are in, no matter what it is."
Behind the Scenes
“'By the producer of' If they can’t name someone behind the creative part of a previous film then you’ve got to wonder. Just because they had someone with a previous track record of finding money doesn’t mean much to me. Unless I know that producer is someone who gets involved more in the process. 'They always knew that ...' as the opening line is a definite sign for me that the film will be crap."
"Any recent popular songs, a narrator speaking over the trailer, a cheesy message about 'being yourself' advertised in the trailer, telling the audience instead of showing them (too much exposition), and so forth. #1 offender: Ferdinand."
"Certain really bad movies (The Room), are so far from what we consider good, they become laughably bad, which for some reason makes people like them. Movies that are in the middle fail to meet a person's threshold for a "good movie" but aren't bad enough to be laughably bad. So they end up in this weird zone where they don't appeal to either side of the movie spectrum."
"Boobs in the first 10 minutes. I've watched a lot of really bad movies and one surprisingly common thing with them is that they have a naked woman some time early on in the movie. My theory is that they are trying to get you to stick around for the rest of the movie; 'surely,' you think to yourself, 'if there were boobs in the first ten minutes, there will be some more boobs later.' But don't be fooled. Those were the only breasts you will see."
The signs of mediocrity abound, and sometimes they aren't that difficult to spot.
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"What makes someone bad in bed?"
WHERE TO BEGIN?!
The list is endless.
Half the time all it takes to be better is a little effort.
RedditorMidoriSpicewanted to hear about the lack of skills some people really need to acquire when it comes to sexy time. They asked:
"What makes someone bad in bed?"
I love sex. But it can be stressful. I've always found connection to be one of the best lessons.
CommunicationsGIF by HULUGiphy
"Assuming they already know what their partner wants/likes and doesn't communicate or take any instructions."
Take it Slow
"No foreplay and not caring if your partner is enjoying it."
"I had an ex who literally never wanted to do any kind of foreplay. He just wanted basically sex of any kind for him. He said oral on women was gross."
"Proposing mid intercourse."
"Honestly? With the partner I have, I'd think it was pretty hot and romantic lmao. I'd check in after the deed to make sure he was serious but our relationship is already very serious so it wouldn't be a big deal."
Talk to Me
"Not talking or making any noises. We don't have to dirty talk the whole time or even at all but you gotta let me know you're enjoying it at least."
"I think there's some balance between having some small talk, silence, and dirty talk while being in bed with someone. Or maybe that's just been my experience. I don't know--I think there's some fun in trying to carry a side conversation while having sex lol."
"Friction isn’t always a good thing."
YuckBored Larry Bird GIF by SB NationGiphy
"To this you can add unclipped fingernails."
"And dirty fingernails. Nah, ma'am. I’m betting this is not worth the infection. Thanks."
‘good at sex’
"I have a feeling most men will say 'lack of enthusiasm' and that most women will say 'being selfish about pleasure.'"
"I’m a woman and my first thought was lack of enthusiasm, but my own lack of enthusiasm. The only bad sex I’ve had is when I don’t genuinely want to be there. I’ve had sex with guys who weren’t ‘good at sex’ but still enjoyed it because I was really into them."
"They are convinced they know more about what works for you than you know yourself. Just cause your ex-lover Pat liked technique X doesn't mean everyone does."
"Have experienced this, it sucks. He wouldn’t listen to what I enjoyed, didn’t want me to say ANYTHING even if it hurt or wasn’t working, and would just say something along the lines of 'every other woman I’ve been with liked it.' I’m thinking, all you’ve had are one-night stands, really, so they probably didn’t say anything."
"I’ve had numerous partners and love sex. Crashed and burned with this one and he really crushed my self-esteem and sexual confidence."
"The biggest thing is always going to be selfishness and the inability/refusal to communicate and listen to your partner. I've seriously had a guy yell 'I KNOW HOW TO DO IT!' when I was trying to tell him how I liked whatever he was doing. He then got even more upset when I said 'did you just f**king yell at me? Alright, off, I'm done.'"
FlavorsAmanda Seales Wow GIF by truTVGiphy
"Lack of variety. Don't get me wrong, I don't mean crazy kinks or positions from the karma sutra, but more when it's really predicable. I has an ex that had this weird routine of positions, it was exactly the same every single f**king time in exactly the same order."
Sex. Let's be better at it.
Do you have similar experiences to share? Let us know in the comments below.
Love is so elusive these days isn't it?
Who knows what anyone is looking for in the relationship department anymore.
It's all too exhausting.
But people we keep trying.
RedditorProblemNice5257wanted to hear why so many people are still on the hunt for that perfect one. They asked:
"Why are you single right now?"
I'm single because I've given up. And I'm good. For now.
PeaceSnoop Dogg Reaction GIFGiphy
"I put absolutely no effort into meeting someone."
"Same! Also it's extremely difficult when you feel so at peace being by yourself. The fact that I have to find someone whose presence outweighs my level of comfort being alone seems impossible."
"Hard to meet people when you are a hermit."
"Yeah, I describe myself as a shut-in, lol. I leave my apartment to work, I leave my apartment to buy food, and occasionally I’ll bring out the trash, otherwise I just watch Hulu, play online chess, surf Reddit."
"Same. I've spent months trying to find an apartment I can afford without a roommate and finally settled on a small studio apartment for $1100 a month because I'd rather living in a tiny space and be left the hell alone than share a much nicer place even with a good friend."
"I have too many unsolved issues, i can't in good conscience bring someone else into them."
"Idk your issues but everyone's got some crap. Not sure how unique yours are but everyone's got some crap. It's good to share some of your struggles with other people. Just don't open with it haha."
"Issues unresolved or not, (in my case) only makes it worse when you feel like you could open up to them, and they just take those to use it against yourself afterwards."
"I hardly go out and expose myself to people. I'm uncomfortable with the notion of myself being in a relationship at this point. Also, I'm very dry in terms of personality."
"I spent a year entirely isolated due to covid and now I can't handle physical contact. It makes me really uncomfortable and a hug is enough to make my body shut down. I'm hopeless."
truthCaptain America Lol GIF by mtvGiphy
"Supply chain issue."
"Best answer here."
That's funny. But it feels oddly true.
Ahhh...Think Winnie The Pooh GIFGiphy
"I'm attracted to many, and unattractive to all."
"Last relationship was so toxic, I've sworn off dating, at least for awhile. I haven't had this much free time in ages. It's nice."
"Edit: Hey, it's really great hearing from so many people with similar experiences. Like many of you, I've been taking it in stride and focusing on bettering myself, both physically and mentally. It's done wonders for my health and I feel a whole lot better. I wish y'all the very best. Stay excellent, my friends."
"I'm 35yr old single father to a 5yr old and I work nights. It's hard to find free time to meet someone, especially in my area. If I do have free time to myself, I like staying home and ordering a pizza while drinking some beers and playing video games. I pretty much faced the fact that I will probably be alone for the rest of my life."
"I was in an 8 year relationship (married for two) to my high school sweetheart. Exactly this same time last year, we got divorced because I found out he was cheating on me with my best friend. The best friend I had known LONGER than him and was friends with since fourth grade."
"She was living with us to try to get back on her feet. Yeah lol. So I lost my best friend and the man I had been with for 8 years within the same night. So I moved to another state, got an apartment by myself, and am now single and divorced all by 26. Not really looking unless the right person comes along."
"It’s pretty happy and peaceful now that they’re both out of my life though honestly. You realize people’s toxicity and flaws the most once you get space away from them."
Bad LoopSeth Meyers Whatever GIF by Late Night with Seth MeyersGiphy
"Because my relationships end before they even begin."
"This is my story right here."
Alright. Now that we've laid out all the excuses, let's get to matching with some people.
There is no bigger mystery than what happens to us after we die.
But even those who don't practice an organized religion tend to believe that there is a Heaven, a happy joyful place where our souls will remain for eternity.
No two people share the same idea of what heaven would be like, but everyone who believes in it probably has an idea of the first thing they'd do after entering the pearly gates.
Redditor WeDidItGuyz was curious to hear what would be top on everyone's list upon entering the afterlife, leading them to ask:
"If heaven exists, what’s the first thing you’d do?"
Overcome with joy
"In all reality?"
"Probably cry for about 30 minutes because the biggest existential fear at the very core my humanity has now been lifted."
"If Heaven exists, like 50% of the awesomeness is just the very fact that it exists."heaven gate GIF by South Park Giphy
A re-match long in the making
"Ask my childhood friend Kevon for a race."
"He used to beat me handily when were younger (9-13) and he’d always brag."
"When I got older and faster I moved away so I was never able to race him again."
"We arranged for a race but he was shot multiple times and bound to a wheelchair until he passed a few years ago."
"I wanna race him both in our prime."- Abethegreat1
Reunite with loved ones
"Find my husband, give him a huge hug and never let go again."
"Live our forever together."
"I f*cking love him and miss him so much."- jessdfrench
"Embrace my sweet wife and tell her how proud I am of the kids."- RifleShower
"Try to find my brother."
"Man, I miss him."
"He died in 2020 at age 34."- grummlinds1
"Give my mum and dad a big hug."- goonerjack007Miss U GIF by GIPHY Studios OriginalsGiphy
Achieve the "firsts" we never got to do
"Find my son and have a beer with him."
"Something we never got to do in real life."- tanukis_parachute
Hone new skills
"Try to play Smoke on the water on my harp."- Ashtar-the-Squid
The joy of doing nothing
"Rest."- BanzaikoowaidCare Free Black Girls GIF by AuroraDrawsGiphy
Live on without pain
"Enjoy my healthy back without pain."- Knackbein_
Who knows what's in store for us after our lives come to an end.
But living with the idea that something wonderful awaits when our time has come is all people need to continue to live their lives to the fullest, and treat others with the respect and kindness they deserve.
"Fun facts" generally refers to a tidbit of information about a specific topic which the general public might not have otherwise known about.
But the first word in that term can be misleading.
Indeed, some "fun facts" reveal information that isn't remotely "fun" in the slightes.
Redditor Alternative_kachocho was curious to hear some "fun facts" which were anything but fun, leading them to ask:
What's a 'fun fact' that isn’t fun at all?"
Ironically, something you likely don't think about...
"Your brain blocks you from feeling your organs moving around inside you."- Aydengeist06
Try watching Finding Nemonow...
"Only one in a thousand sea turtles born actually make it to adulthood."- Sebs_123
Shocking new light on an age old classic
"In the books, Stuart Little was never explicitly called a mouse."
"He's pretty much described as a deformed mouse-esque person born form human parents."- Red_Beard47stuart little mouse GIF by VIASAT3Giphy
Nature running it's course...
"There's a bird that feeds its younger offspring to the eldest."- Teacup_Cult
I have no allergies... yet
"Speaking from personal experience here, but your body can randomly decide to become allergic to damn near everything edible at any time."
"Not very fun."- smallemochick
Those poor, innocent creatures.
"In some regions of Australia, 90 percent of koalas have chlamydia, which poses a threat to the species' extinction unless a vaccine is created or widespread koala culling takes place."- tiffanyjcrusekoalas kiss GIFGiphy
They'd still be here if they weren't so delicious...
"The giant tortoise was so delicious, it caused not only itself to be hunted to extinction, but also the dodo."
"Giant tortoise meat was supposedly better tasting than chicken."
"It's fat tasted better spread on bread than butter."
"Also, it was the perfect food for sailors at the time, as their bladders stored 1 litre of purified water, and they could survive without food in hibernation for almost a whole year in the hull of a ship."
"Not to mention, because they evolved without humans, they were easy to hunt."
"You could tie one to your back, and roll another to the ship and they would just let you."
"It was so delicious, they went unrecorded for a long time because expeditions to bring living samples of wildlife to Europe kept eating them on the way."
"Conversely, the dodo, while as easily captured by sailors, tasted awful."
"It was completely unpalatable."
"HOWEVER, one day, someone discovered if you cooked dodo meat in the more delicious tortoise fat, it tasted just like chicken."
"So now, sailors were hunting a few tortoises at a time for their fat and water, storing them, and then hunting dodos on the daily."
"Overhunting, plus the introduction of rats to the environment (because sailors) which would eat eggs, led go the population to decline at a rate they could not breed to keep up, leading to both animals going extinct."- Kyhan
Don't forget the nose plugs
"Antarctica smells like penguin poop."
"Antarctica is a desert, it is too cold for bacteria to live."
"Nothing there to clean up penguin droppings."
"If you are close enough to see penguins, you will also smell them."- gummby8
Makes those long lines so worth it...
"The TSA missed 96% of contraband during an inspection in 2015."- omegasix321All Falls Down Tsa GIF by Kanye WestGiphy
"The person who had the first facial transplant had her face chewed up by her Labrador dog while asleep due to sleeping pill overdose." - User Deleted
It's hard not to read some of these "fun facts" and wonder if there should be an alternative term for the facts which aren't fun.
Oh yeah, probably not....