Common knowledge isn't that common - and isn't even really knowledge.
One Reddit user asked:
What widely accepted fact do you know is wrong?
Raise your hand if you believed that you couldn't touch a baby bird that fell out of the nest or its mom would reject it. Not true.
Oh and that "frivolous" McDonald's hot coffee lawsuit? Not frivolous at all and the details are cringe-worthy. We're going to go into detail about that one shortly.
So kick back, relax, and let Reddit ruin everything you thought you knew about everything.
Mr. Fishy
Goldfishes really do not have a memory span of 5 seconds. They actually remember things for months, recognize their owners, and are able to distinguish them from other people.
I had two goldfish when I was younger. Their names were Paula and Mr Fishy. When Mr. Fishy died, Paula spent the next couple of days frantically swimming around the tank trying to find him. It was heartbreaking to watch
Space Pens
'NASA spent $$ inventing a pen that worked in space and the Russians used pencils.'
Total bollocks.
The Fisher Pen Company was independent and developed its 'space pen' with zero investment from NASA.
American astronauts began using mechanical pencils in space. Tiny fragments of graphite, and graphite dust floating around the spacecraft was not ideal because graphite is conductive. It's also combustible, so everyone was keen to find an alternative.
Fisher patented its first 'zero gravity' pen in 1965, and in 1967 NASA began using it. By 1969 Russia were also buying them for their space missions.
Reportedly both NASA and The Soviet Space Company received the same discount for their bulk purchases.
Cracking Your Knuckles
That cracking your knuckles too often will cause arthritis.
Healthy joints actually are more prone to cracking/popping than arthritic joints, this is because the smooth surfaces in healthy joints combined with the synovial fluid can sometimes make a sort of vacuum that makes the popping noise when it's released (basically like releasing a suction cup). (I'm a PT student, please correct me if I'm wrong).
24 hours
That you have to wait 24 hours to report someone missing in the USA. There is no law about waiting, you don't have to. Push to make the police cooperate and list the person missing immediately when you suspect something isn't right. Don't lose precious time; it's extremely important if the person truly is missing.
Ye Olde Old People
That medieval/ancient people only lived to be ~32 years old, and at that age, they were considered ancient.
That estimate is an average, which means it accounts for high infant/child mortality. Lots of ancient people lived to their 80s and older. If you made it to 30, chances are good you're making it another 30+ years.
Chloroform
That chloroform quickly knocks you out. It takes minutes to knock you out, not the seconds you see in TV and movies.
The bigger myth is that any idiot can safely render someone unconscious with minimal effort.
No, there's actually a fine art to that process and we pay people a ton of money to do it, they're called "anesthesiologists".
The problem is that the difference between "enough to reliably knock this specific person out for an hour" and "so much it kills them" is vanishingly small. It's terrifyingly easy to kill someone with the kind of meds that knock people out.
Hell, even the old blackjack-to-the-base-of-the-skull approach is fraught. If the person is out for more than 30 seconds, there's a good chance you've given them brain damage.
Movies use human unconsciousness capriciously, whenever they need to advance the plot and stick a character in a tough spot. Reality is different ball game, and playing it like it's the movies is a great way to catch a manslaughter charge.
- Daddict
McDonald's Coffee
That the McDonald's hot coffee lawsuit was absurd and unjustified. That coffee wasn't just hot, it was HOT -- spilling it in her lap, which should've just ruined Stella Liebeck's pants and maybe given her first-degree burns, caused THIRD-degree burns and fused her genitals shut. She needed not only skin grafts but horrifyingly painful, expensive reconstructive surgery.
When Liebeck initially contacted McDonald's, all she asked was that they cover her $20,000 hospital bills. They counter-offered for $800, so she took them to court. Even then, she didn't ask for punitive damages. The jury heard about McD's insulting counter-offer, and the fact that their coffee had seriously burned seven hundred people already (they damn well knew about the danger, they just didn't care), and were so incensed that they added the extra millions on their own.
The only reason people think of that case as an example of sue-happy American culture gone wrong is that McDonald's poured millions into a smear campaign after the fact. If you ask me, it was actually our justice system working exactly as it should.
For those of you who still think that Liebeck's injuries were entirely her own fault, regardless of the coffee temperature, imagine yourself handling a cup of your favorite hot drink. You take reasonable precautions to keep from spilling it on yourself -- things like resting your mug on a solid flat surface, trying to keep from elbowing it, etc. These aren't foolproof: you either have spilled hot liquid on yourself or you almost certainly will someday. You're okay with taking only these limited precautions because the consequences of that spill are a minor household ouchie and damage to your clothes.
Now imagine yourself handling a cup of, say, lava. If you spill that on yourself, it'll burn straight through your body and quite possibly kill you. Are you willing to handle it with the same precautions as you do for a cup of tea? Of course not! But on the other hand, are you willing to go through life treating every cup of tea as though it were potentially lava? Of course not! Nobody handles coffee with asbestos gloves and hazmat protocol -- that'd be absurd.
Liebeck was handed a cup of lava disguised as coffee. Do you see how the ones performing that particular switcheroo might, just might, be partly responsible for the consequences?
Not to mention McDonalds had many prior, written, warnings that their coffee was too hot. In the end, they literally only had to pay 1 or 2 days worth of their coffee sales in damages.
- deliverz
Ironic that they spent millions more to smear her rather than give her the original $20,000. The corporate thought process will never cease to astound me.
The coffee was so hot that her freakin' labia fused together. She was hospitalized for 8 days because of it.
It being labeled as a frivolous lawsuit over something "that isn't a big deal" was just propaganda fueled by political and corporate interests. If the news had actually reported the truth, instead of reporting what McDonald's and politicians wanted, the lawsuit wouldn't have such a stigma around it.
The lady got third degree burns and had to get various medical treatments over the course of TWO YEARS to help her recovery from it.
Vitamin C
"If you have a cold, you should get lots of Vitamin C."
This is completely down to one scientist called Linus Pauling who had a theory that massive doses of Vitamin C would cure colds, subsequent studies have shown he was wrong and any benefits are minimal at best. Yet I still get everyone telling me to drink orange juice whenever I get a sniffle.
My dad has smoked for 45 years and still thinks he's fine because he drinks a glass of orange juice every day.
Pauling won two Nobel Prizes. He's the only person in history who's ever won two un-shared Prizes. But neither of those Prizes had anything to do with medicine.
He had a severe case of "Engineer's Disease", where you're very competent in one field of study, so you think you're competent in other fields that you actually know nothing about.
Pauling was convinced that huge doses of vitamin C were useful, perhaps miraculously so, in the treatment of cancer.
He died of cancer.
The only thing huge doses of vitamin C actually cause is diarrhea.
- dansdata
It's The Same Brain
"Left and right brained" people who are either more artistic or more numbers base. Just as inaccurate as the "parts of your tongue that taste different things" yet people still say it.
I really wish people wouldn't limit their own potential like that. "Sorry, I just don't do math. I'm more of a creative type." or "Oh, I think too logically for art." Like, what??
Look at Leonardo da Vinci! The dude invented a flying machine and painted the Mona Lisa at the same time! Creativity and logic are NOT mutually exclusive
- ebuthead
Baby Bird
"If you touch a baby bird the parents will abondon/kill it"
Most birds don't do that. If you help a baby bird back into its nest as long as you try not to touch the nest a lot then everything should be fine. If its an adult bird you rescued then not touching it for a day does help with it getting your scent off but not 100% needed. I know this because my mom and I rescue wild animals when they are hurt or still babies and release them when we are able to.
Not Dinosaurs
Crude oil comes from dinosaur remains is totally false, but commonly believed. Oil comes from the remains of dead animals, but not dinosaurs. It primarily comes from algae and zooplankton from marine environments millions of years ago, long before dinosaurs existed.
Heightened Senses
I've been teaching blind children for 15 years- people think when you're blind that your other senses are "heightened" and this is totally untrue. Some people who are blind or visually impaired develop compensatory skills like echolocation but that's pretty rare! They do have to pay closer attention to auditory information and use different compensatory skills to develop spatial awareness, mental mapping, etc. Being blind doesn't give you better hearing or improve your other senses, in fact, the majority of my students are blind due to significantly premature birth. Because of this, they also have hearing impairments or central auditory processing disorder, or some other kind of neurological dysfunction that impairs their hearing, spatial awareness and motor responses.
People who are blind in the absence of other disabilities CAN develop very impressive compensatory skills with practice, and there is some evidence which is pretty new thanks to new neuroimaging techniques, that shows the occipital lobe in the brain is the "seat" of compensatory behavior. In people who have ocular blindness, this area of the brain can get "recruited" to work on non-visual tasks, such as echolocation. Now that we have functional MRI machines we're finally able to see what's happening in there!
The occipital lobe was thought to be the "visual cortex" of the brain and it does play a very important role in vision but we now know that vision happens in 40-90% of your brain. There's something called Cortical/Cerebral Visual Impairment, in which your vision is affected not by your eyes but in your brain's ability to interpret what you're seeing. It's now the most common form of visual impairment in developed countries. It affects everyone differently and to different degrees but it definitely does not improve their other senses! Especially when it happened as a result of brain injury or stroke or a hypoxic event, it actually makes it extremely difficult to integrate use of multiple senses at the same time.
Texas
Growing up in Texas, there were two big ones:
- It's illegal to pick bluebonnets because it's the state flower (it's not illegal at all).
- Texas is the only state allowed to fly its flag at the same height as the American flag because it once was its own country. (According to the US flag code, any state can do this as long as the flags are on separate poles. Texas is just one of the few that actually does.)
Sweet Silence
Silencers don't work as well as movies would have you believe. Silenced gun shots can still impair your hearing if you shoot without ear protection. You will still hear the silenced gun shot over a very long distance. You can not murder someone sneakily with a silenced gun, no matter what action movies would have you believe. Also, pillows don't work as a silencer. Not even a little bit.
Cowbears
That cows will attack you if you get close to them, like bears.
I grew up on a cattle farm, and that couldn't be any further from the truth. You could go out into a field full of cattle and just walk around and do whatever, and usually they'll do the exact opposite, they'll move away and keep their distance from you. They are far more scared of you than they are you.
Sometimes the braver and more curious cows will come up closer to you and investigate (usually they think that you have food or something), but all they'll do is stand there. If you try to touch one or like lunge at it or something, it'll only run away. Cows are some of the chilliest and most peaceful creatures out there.
So yeah, they're not like bears at all.
Alpha Wolves
You have to be the "alpha" of your "pack" or your dog won't respect you and will misbehave.
Dogs aren't wolves. Wolves don't even behave like that. The scientist who did that study has explained over and over that the "alpha" theory was totally wrong.
Stop being mean to your dog for no reason.
Recycling Plastic
Plastic recycling is the answer to our waste situation. But it's actually more complicated.
Plastic can't have residue when you recycle, it needs to be at least rinsed (though probably washed with soap). Any food residue (like ketchup or chocolate pudding you couldn't get out) could ruin a whole batch of recycled plastic, but it'll probably just be sorted into trash when they first receive the waste.
Recycling plastic also degrades the quality over time, you're lucky to get more than 2 uses out of recycled plastic before it's not up to standard and is downcycled into something of lesser value. Then that goes straight into the dump since it can't be recycled further.
NASA Photoshopping
That NASA photoshops all images taken in space. No, they COMPOSITE images from multiple cameras to give us an intelligible perspective. A lot of these pictures are taken from extreme wide-angle lenses, telescopic lenses, or fisheye lenses and don't make a ton of optical sense without putting them together or correcting the perspective.
There are going to be image artifacts on almost any digital photograph at some resolution because of compression, not modification. EVERY digital image format is largely defined by the compression algorithm and color channels.
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Comedy is in a very tricky place right now.
There is so much to NOT laugh about in this world.
In truth, many of us have forgotten how to laugh.
And certain jokes that are told, make people afraid to laugh.
So what do we do?
We tell inappropriate jokes apparently.
Let's hear some...
Redditor CrewCreation wanted to hear some "risky" comedy. So they asked:
"What’s the best morbid joke you know?"
***WARNING: THIS ARTICLE CONTAINS SENSITIVE MATERIAL. PROCEED WITH CAUTION!***
I can't think of anything hilarious at the moment. Make us LOL.
Lady
"I have this friend, love him to bits, but his wife has a tendency of just constantly showing everyone pictures of their son at every social event. At the start it was understandable, but now I'm just like 'Lady, it's been two years; they're not going to find him.'"
UnoriginalUse
at 9am...
"Not the most morbid but I love Anthony Jeselnik’s story about his neighbor who has Alzheimer’s. 'One of my next door neighbors is a 90 year old man suffering from Alzheimer’s. And every single morning at 9am he knocks on my door and asks me if I have seen his wife.'"
"'Which means that every single morning at 9am I have to explain to a 90 year old man suffering from Alzheimer’s that his wife has been dead for quite some time. Now I’ve thought about moving. I have thought about just not answering my door in the morning. But to be honest, it’s worth it… just to see the smile on his face.”
dreagan021
Comedy?
"Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is."
GW2RNGR
"Why can't orphans play tennis? They get confused when they hear love."
JayDub506
People who make comedy are evil. LOL.
The Darkness
"Dark humor is like food; not everyone gets it."
storm_the_castle
God Laughs?
"A Holocaust survivor dies and goes to heaven, where she meets God. To break the tension she tells God a joke about the Holocaust, but God doesn’t laugh. The lady shrugs and says 'I guess you had to be there.'"
“'I guess you had to be there' is a common expression used when someone doesn’t laugh at a joke. It means that the comedy may not translate without the context of the situation."
"In this case the Holocaust survivor is saying it, meaning that during the Holocaust God was nowhere to be found. It’s not really a joke about the Holocaust, but the absurdity of belief in a benevolent God. Hilarious right?"
semimillennial
Oh Baby
"How many dead babies does it take to fix a light bulb? More than 3 cause my garage is still dark."
sirnibs3
I don't know whether to laugh or cry. Because I don't know what it says about us as people if we laugh. Oye.
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Life can change in an instant.
It can always change for the better.
Just ask any lottery winner.
Sadly, life can also take a turn for the worst and leave people shattered beyond repair.
Watching someone's life fall apart in a short amount of time is difficult.
You have to wonder if there really is such a thing as karma, bad luck, or Voodoo.
Redditor OkImagination5852 wanted to hear about the times we've been witness to personal disaster. They asked:
"People who witness a person's life crumble in a single day, what happened?"
I have lived through a lot of bad days. But thankfully they've been one disaster at a time days. So I guess I'm lucky.
Horror
"A friend of a friend had his entire family killed overnight. He was from my college and was home visiting his family. His parents, siblings, and extended family were all there together. One night, while they were all asleep, his father got up, took out a gun, and went on a shooting spree. He then killed himself."
"Everyone except this guy died on the spot. When my friend visited him at the hospital, the guy was still in shock. He had no idea why his father did that. This was more than a decade ago, and I have no idea how he's doing now."
DeadOnDeparture98
The IRS Called
"Knew a guy who had a nice house, wife, 3 kids. Machine shop in his garage, Snap On tool truck, sign out front, great mechanic. Never incorporated, didn't pay taxes on his business, cash only. Took nice vacations, bought a boat, then a camper. Five years later, the IRS came. I don't know what they estimated he owed but they seized everything. He lives alone in a trailer now."
Nobody_Wins_13
2 at Once
"My mom’s dad and dad’s mom both died on the same day. Completely unrelated. We were pretty messed up for awhile. It was 2010. Mom's dad had emphysema (lifetime smoker) and was pretty sick for a few weeks. I was in college at the time and came home to be with him, because we knew he was about to pass. Dad's mom was in the nursing home, as she had had a stroke and also had dementia (she often thought I was my dad, she thought we were in the 70s, etc.)."
"She took a turn for the worst, and so my dad left the hospice my grandpa was at and went to be with her. The towns they were in were about an hour apart, so I stayed behind with my mom to comfort her when her dad passed. A few hours go by, and he passes peacefully (huge thanks to the hospice workers for their respect and grace during this time)."
"Within an hour or so of his passing, we get a call from my dad saying that his mother had passed as well. It was a terribly dark day in our family, and the next couple years for me in college were pretty much a blur. Thankfully, things got better in time and we are all doing well now."
She lost everything...
"Her husband left her after previously persuading her to remortgage their house to save his business and he's already made her take multiple credit cards out in her name. She lost everything. He did it the week after their youngest turned 18 so he wouldn't have to pay child support. He'd obviously been planning for years."
Ieatclowns
a black sheep...
"My cousin was in a motorcycle accident with her boyfriend. Her boyfriend died. She broke her back. When she was in the hospital she learned she was pregnant. It's been 16 years and we're still trying our best, she took an all too familiar path of drugs, burning bridges and more pregnancies."
"At this point she's fairly stable and clean as far as I know but a bit of a black sheep. Her mother has custody of all one of her kids. She has her youngest and seems to be doing good by her, but who knows. It's been hard on everyone, especially her mother and her brother."
Paradigm6790
Well this is the stuff of nightmares. I'm grateful for every moment I have alive.
Several lawsuits are filed...
"Here is multiple lives ruined in an instant. A friend was over at some other people house, drugs were involved. They had been playing with a gun. My friend points the gun at a girl, pulls the trigger and shoots her in the head. Girl dies, friend gets locked up until he turns 18. Parents at the house get arrested because they knew what the kids were doing. Friends mom goes into a depression and ends up getting evicted from her house. Several lawsuits are filed."
sentondan
Gone Forever
"It was me... got in a car accident and suffered a traumatic spinal and brain injury that I had no chance of surviving... a 7 vertebrae spinal fusion, yrs of physical and mental therapy... 18 yrs later and the pieces, though many forever gone, are finally coming back together."
2boneskuLL
A Bad Night
"He trashed his fathers vacation house with an axe before setting it on fire, stabbed the neighbor nearly to death, stole their car and then crashed it into a cop car so bad the cops were injured. He also got his girl pregnant, so once he is out of prison they're gonna start a family."
Dumbing_It_Down
"dangerous"
"Pregnant friend found out husband (43) was having an affair with young woman (19) who was a volunteer at their ecolodge. Friend had 'dangerous' pregnancy and had to spend a lot of time in bed. This betrayal destroyed their marriage, split the little town where they lived and caused two employees to quit because witnessing the affair going on was just too painful."
"She had a beautiful baby girl (to go with her other two girls, lol) and after the breakup was clinically depressed. Worked hard and got a divorce (she had a great lawyer); got the business back on track; beat her depression and now is planning a great vacation trip with her girls."
"Meantime, Dad has generous visitation but just 'hasn't gotten around to' buying a car seat so he can pick up the baby and for a long time asked my friend, 'Can you drop the girls off at my Mom's?'"
NoBSforGma
Lost it All...
"Recently, I know of a guy that had borrowed all his family’s life savings for the most part to participate in the whole game stop stock thing happening… he lost every penny of his money (credit card advances), and his parents retirement, and every other dime he could get… it makes me sick to even think of it."
Bangbangsmashsmash
Well those are A LOT of bad days. Good luck to all of you.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
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Those who are wealthy have the luxury of acquiring the best of the best–whether it's dinner at a Michelin-starred restaurant or status-identifying clothing from Chanel or Yves Saint Laurent.
But even the rich have their limits when it comes to frivolous spending before casting judgment on friends or colleagues.
Curious to hear examples of this, Redditor Sasquatchfl asked:
"Rich people of Reddit, what's the craziest/most unethical thing you've seen people in your circle spend money on?"
Expensive experiences were a priority over prized possessions.
Live Sushi
"An ex worked for Dell in the late 90s/early 2000s. He was pretty high up and there were lots of partiers in his work circle. Went to a party hosted by one of the dellionaires and there was a body sushi girl. I don’t know what was paid to her, but it was one of the most ridiculous things I’ve ever seen."
– 5hrs4hrs3hrs2hrs1mor
Pissing Contest
"Paid a group of homeless guys to only use the bathroom on a competitors business. Eventually bought that place for a massive discount."
– Haboobalub
Let's Work Out
"My mother woke up one morning and said she felt she was way too fat and she wanted to get a treadmill. The treadmill wouldn’t be a problem, but then she saw where it would be and didn’t like the lighting. Fast forward 2 months later there’s a 40k outdoor gym built and connected to the house. She hasn’t used it once."
– Herrera5449_
Taking A Leap
"Travelled with a bunch of ex 'friends' all fairly wealthy."
"First trip to SE Asia together and as an ex-local I was a de-facto tour guide (despite not being there in over a decade)"
"They somehow found and offered a bunch of kids diving off cliffs to jump for spare change."
"They increasingly challenged each other to land their coins as close to the cliff base and small surrounding rocks for the kids to dive for."
– Satakans
It's about the finer things in life.
Expensive Party Gag
"A 3k ouija board from Gwen Paltrow's store. I didn't even know it was a thing until the dude brought it out. I really wanted to cut it up and see what it was made from. Looked nice don't get me wrong but the thing is basically a party gag. For 3 grand, it better summon a demon that's all I'm saying."
– con_this
Slow Burn
"$600 USD for a candle."
– Jeffranks
It's not always about the things you acquire.
Minor Inconvenience
"I know a guy who went to get a new drivers license and had to pay ~$100k in back parking tickets, then joked about it after."
"Apparently he couldn't get a permit to park in front of his house, so he just did anyway, and accepted like a $200 fine everyday."
– melodyze
For A Successful Election
"Not me, but I know a guy who crowd funded (read: threw a bunch of money into, then solicited more at a flea market) $80,000 toward his friend's DA election campaign. The guy won. So far, this has paid back at least $120K in avoided legal fees. I know some rich people. Most of them are more boring than you think. Hell, most of them drive Hondas, Toyotas, and Nissans."
– KP_Wrath
The Lance Corporal
"I was stationed with a Lance Corporal who was wealthy beyond means after selling some of his patents. He owned and piloted four helicopters. Lived in a palatial waterfront house in Jacksonville, NC."
"The cheapest one cost 400K. That's the one he trained on. The most expensive was about 1.2 million. That's 1.2 million 1981 dollars. The two he's got now are about 5 million each."
"Had a floating landing pad out back moored to his dock and another landing pad in the back yard. Kept two helicopters and a Rolls inside his custom-built hangar at Norfolk International Airport."
"He drove a pair of Rolls-Royces. He also toyed with a 900K Miami-Vice type speedboat. He also housed and transported his squad to Camp Lejeune and back in a custom mini-bus."
– ApplicationConnect55
The dude was very giving and lived a very clean life. He'd fly us to Norfolk, pickup the car and we'd do our shopping and eating. Hop in a chopper and return home. He'd fly his fire team down to Miami on weekends. He kept a Limo there and wore a chauffer's outfit and did all the driving.
He bought a full-service and licensed pub in Northern Ireland. He lives there with his wife. Does a lot of charity work there. We still keep in touch."
– ApplicationConnect55
When there's plenty of money going around, there's no need to worry about a single thing.
That peace of mind is a luxury in itself.
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When marriages or relationships fall apart, infidelity is not always the cause.
Curious to hear from strangers online, Redditor Liam_Tang asked:
"People who've divorced, aside from adultery, what were the irreconcilable differences that ended the marriage?"

You think you know a person when you walk down the aisle.
These Redditors were in for a rude awakening.
Pet Neglect
"My wife divorced her ex for many reasons, but the final straw was when she went out of town for a few days, and when she got back he had not fed or given water to the dog. The dog lived a long and happy life after that."
– StrangeCrimes
Obsessed With A Crush
"Not me, but I had an old coworker that divorced his wife for spending their entire savings on candy crush and games of the same type."
– Hexis40
Compatibility Musts
"ITT: Intimacy (sex/romance), beliefs (religion/spirituality/politics), kids, and I haven’t seen it yet but it’s coming: finances."
"The big four. You REALLY need to discuss these things in detail BEFORE getting married."
– rabbiskittles
Physical violence is a legit reason for people to peace out of a relationship.
The Flattening
"She threatened to hit me with a hammer."
– michaelrohansmith
Hitting The Bottle
"She became an abusive alcoholic. It was sad but I had to get out."
– diegojones4
Emotional pain is too damaging to recover from.
Truth Hurts
"She told me as we stood in front of the judge ending our 7 year marriage, 'I never loved you, I just wanted kids.'"
– Pinch_Dogs
Can't Fix Angry
"She was beautiful/smart but an angry angry person. I thought I could be sweet to her and 'fix' that. Heh. She kicked the crap out of me emotionally. Wife II has been a walk in the roses for 32 years now :)"
– lowlandr
A change of heart is worthless if comes too late.
"We Could've Had A Nice Marriage
"He could not understand that my wants and needs were as important as his wants and needs. We tried to make it work for 7 years. During that time, for things that were really important to me, I tried explaining logically, asking nicely, begging, crying, yelling, passive aggressiveness... cycled back through all of these options multiple times."
"(If I knew something was important to him, I would do that. For example, he was really into sports, so I went to all his events, even though that is not at all my thing.) When I finally threw up my hands and told him it was time to get a divorce, he suddenly panicked and said 'What can I do? Do you want me to do half the chores? I'll do it! Do you want me to get a job? I'll do it! Do you want me to buy you presents for your birthday? I'll do it!'"
"So, in other words, he could have been doing that all along, but just couldn't be bothered. That made me so angry. We could have had a nice marriage that we both enjoyed, but no, by the time he saw the light, that ship had sailed."
"We are both happily remarried now (to different people) and I joke that his new wife owes me a thank you note. It was his experience with me that taught him to listen to her and take her needs seriously."
– Bluebird-True
"What Can I Do?"
"My ex was exactly like this. I didn't marry him but when I told him let's break up, he went all like, what can I do? Let's get engaged, let's look at houses, etc. Basically all the pre-marriage topics that we should be discussing about after being together for 7 years."
"I got so angry and straight up told him it's too late... I don't need you anymore."
– gudetarako
As much as a couple wants to stay together, unforeseen circumstances can eventually tear people apart.
Very few people can maintain healthy long-distance relationships.
When a new job opportunity takes a significant other away, would you begrudge them for wanting a better position to earn more money? Or is it better for them to reluctantly turn down the opportunity so they could stay with you? Do either scenarios breed resentment?
These were questions I've often asked myself with past relationships, and my answers varied depending on the person I was with.
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